The Sword of Discrimination

Notes on Spiritual Insight and Aikido Inspirations

by Torbjorn Saw. 2019-2020

Radical vs Conformist.

There are long established lines of spiritual education in all religious traditions. You follow a set out path that will lead you through the spiritual process of awakening to its fulfilment.

Step by step you are guided through the inner realms of self transformation. Some say this conformist view is the only way to fully ensure a complete understanding of a mature spiritual outlook.

Others, bark at the regimented, all too outlined steps of practice. They shy away from the conformists view that to follow a set of rules will have you reach God. These radicals stay away from authoritarian systems and prefer their path to be one of intuition and will. They pursue God within and follow their inner voice of where next to go. It’s a path of surrender yet mindfully so. They seek the Truth and are happy to learn from all sources yet they only accept their own experience to be the measure of their own understanding.

Studying within a religious order with awakened teachers will definitely help you on your path yet there’s the danger of overly conforming to rules and dogmatic practices to the point where God becomes a lifeless expression of knowledge. On the other hand, independent truth seekers may well loose out on the depth of insight that is afforded one within the monastic walls.

Personal experience will grant you faith yet without study and guidance the larger implications will escape you. That’s why you’ll see even the greatest sages return to their religious and cultural roots to anchor them in tradition. Freedom, the goal of all spiritual truth seekers, must be a living experience whether being a conformist or a radical. Whether within or outside of a established system we must display a level of intuitive understanding brought on by our path. Eyes must be opened and hearts fully functioning regardless of religious affiliation.

Depth of insight must be paralleled with ego death and self abnegation so there’s a genuine underlining of humility.

Remember that all insight and knowledge can over-inflate our

sense of self making us overly confident and sometimes arrogant, unless curbed by a true understanding of selflessness and love. This is where peers and teachers, community and rules come in handy. A clear mirror will show you your own faults, difficult to see by oneself. The results will speak for themselves.

Signs along the Way.

You will experience many unusual and supernatural states of mind as you progress along your spiritual path. You may follow a very descriptive and ordered set of steps, or you may randomly encounter mystical experiences as you go deeper into your practice. They serve as signposts and reveal to you different aspects of the spiritual realm, with eye opening understandings as to the nature of your being. These insights into consciousness come as you strive for the Truth, as you wholeheartedly pursue your own liberation. They are revelations accompanying a genuine seeking of the Absolute.

Some schools of thought list them in succession almost as a checklist to be ticked off as you pass through. Others make no guidelines as to what comes first or last as opportunity and situation dictate the experience. Nevertheless these groundbreaking markers will leave a trace, a resonance within you, that will carry you onwards on your journey towards absolute freedom. Having a roadmap may be of great help, together with the advice from someone that have already traveled the distance. A Gurus grace is of absolute importance some say, a push in the right direction as it were, yet we have to walk the path alone.

To name and classify all of the various experiences one can have would take a book to cover. Suffice to say is that most likely you will already have had a few growing up and though while not cognisant of them being ‘spiritual’ they will have

affected you deeply. Becoming conscious of them later in life is great. Then you’ll be able to discern their value and milk them of information. Review them in the eye of your mind; remember and recall their nature, their shape and size and their inherent meaning. Remember, spiritual experiences are not reserved exclusively to ‘spiritual’ people. They are a natural phenomena to all of us. Once awake to your own inherent pull towards the Truth; the original essence of your being, you can consciously strive to realise its potential. Then you will know that you are on a spiritual path. Recognising it and accepting it to be the most important thing in your life will set you on the firm ground of discovery. Now in the quest for the Truth Absolute you can fast forward, bring all revelation needed and leave it all behind as you won’t stop nor hesitate in your pursuit. Everyday life will give you a constant feedback of experience that you’ll now utilise as you would any mystical experience. The layers of life, inherent in all experience, will become clearer. As the ocean consists of both surface and depth we see through to the very bottom. Glittering existence has massive depth to it. Dive deep to encounter wonderful sea creatures.

No up and no down.

We have a tendency to stand everything upright. Everything is ordered accordingly. Our maps depict north as up and south as down. We all get very confused when watching a world map upside down. How about the universe, do we also view it with an up and a down? Well the sun, moon and stars are at least up above. Or are they? Has our balance centre in our brain conditioned us to know what is up and what is down simply through the constant of gravity? Even if floating in space where gravity is suspended our senses still outline an up and down within our body. Our inner gyroscope seem set to default. But if you close your eyes and disregard the information of what’s up

and what’s down, can you honestly say there’s an up and down in your experience of your self? Freed from the identification with the body your sense of self find no cardinal directions. You may designate a centre, that you are, but you’ll find it limitless as there are no delineations pertaining to it. This can be quite a revelation because suddenly you’ll realise how infinite the universe is. If you can’t designate an up or down, you’re faced with the enormous space that surrounds you on all sides.

Because there’s no break in this it can blow your perception of yourself to pieces. Since you find that we don’t exist within the framework of conventional thought you’ll come in touch with true experience. This is mind boggling as you’ll become aware of how we all perceive ourselves through the delineations of space and time. This is natural as we have to make sense out of our experience but it causes a slight distortion. It limits our perception. But the good news is that nothing is hidden or secret. We just have to see things clearly. Investigate a little closer. Till we realise there is no up or down.

Extreme Measures.

We have to go to extreme measures to realise our spiritual potential. It won’t do to settle in with half measures. A spiritual relationship is extreme by its very nature. And whether you know it or not, everything we do happens in relationship. Either with other people or with other commitments. There’s an absolute standard that must be reached and upheld for it to be completely satisfactory. Love enables us to go that extra mile.

To give ourselves to the situation. Fully surrender to the requirements of any particular engagement. God is extreme.

Love is extreme. Truth is extreme. Meaning we can’t compromise it. We must meet it fully on its own terms. That is, if we want to be free. Completely free with nothing left undone.

Face everything, hold nothing back, realise the meeting point

where all is complete. Where you complete all things. Where you erase all difference.

Somehow the Buddhist homage that says ‘Sammasambuddhassa’ meaning ‘the fully completely self-Enlightened One’ (Lit. by removing the root-cause of future births by not accumulating things), speaks to me as not to assume things to be what they are not. We often stop short of finding out what the truth is and presume and assume what things means. This accumulates to create a whole made up world based on nothing but supposition. In this way it’s extreme to go all the way, not accumulating anything, in order to be free, fully enlightened. We have to do this every time, realise how extreme the truth is, till nothing remain for you to hold on to.

Dumb Force.

It’s just dumb. The reasoning behind it is to be a plain receiver of force so the ‘giver’(Nage) can train his technique and feel his inner connection. Fair enough, we understand this method but that’s not how we do it in Aikido. Uke in Aikido receives the technique yet without avoiding or distancing himself. He doesn’t contract, resist or block. He’s centred, grounded and connected. He’s not evasive nor compliant. He is moved, not moving by himself, not calculated nor preempting the fall. He stays with, still with the intent of the attacker, not turning the tables on Nage. He’s buoyant, free and responsive. This method also enables him to learn kaeshiwaza (reversals) at a later stage of training.

We don’t need to use ‘dumb’ force for Nage to feel his technique. Since we do not evade nor neutralise his attempt, we actually help in his completion. Agreed this is not a fighting oriented approach nor is it meant to be. It’s educating Uke and it is enabling Nage to learn the form. We do not jostle for advantage nor prevent the application. And because we do not

disperse or deflect Nages attempt he will thoroughly feel his own skill throughout the technique. So instead of receiving Nages practice with dumb force we use smart force helping both parties to develop skill. This is what I call the Uke-Nage relationship. It’s a practice, not a combat scenario. Smart force does not collapse upon impact, nor does it stiffen up. It stays centred allowing Nage to fulfil and complete its execution. This is why Uke means to receive. It’s not dumb, it’s smart.

To Die and Live Again.

Some don’t even know it. Some have passed through the gates of death without recognising or understanding what’s been happening. Sudden illness or trauma can bring about a dying process, a personal shock or bereavement can cause this to occur. It can come about out of the blue, totally unexpected, or it can be a conscious endeavour. There’s no rhyme or reason for this event to unfold within your life but it will have a drastic and long lasting effect. Within a religious and spiritual context this event is not unheard of nor should it be.

Being born again we have all heard of but much less is known about the dying process preceding it. Some spiritual strands actively pursue a death process through their training; dying to self in order to be free. These are very potent and powerful methods and should not be treated lightly. Born again Christians come to partake in Jesus death and therefore share in his resurrection. Having passed through death our old self dies and a new self finds itself immortal and eternal. On the surface not much have changed but deep within an absolute change has occurred. Even if you have not been conscious of the significance of what you’ve experienced your life will feel different to you. Suddenly you will see the foolishness and ignorance displayed by a general society much more starkly.

You’ll bark at the injustices and hardness people carry with

them. You’ll feel like you’ve woken up from a bad dream yet seeing all still so lost within it. Not knowing what to do with this new insight you may fall back into your old ways, ignoring the promise it contain. Or, as you should, you pursue it, learn about the meaning and significance of it and enlighten yourself as to its purpose. You’ll venture into the spiritual domain. This is where you now live. You have passed over from death to life and can’t go back. Eyes opened can’t be shut. This will never leave you so you might as well get used to it.

When you feel yourself dying there’s nothing you can do about it. Fear will strike you and you will be alone. The only thing you can do is to accept it. Accept death when it comes to you, invited or not. Don’t be afraid. For some the sword will fall so fast you won’t have time to think. For others it will be a drawn out process. Either way, study it well.

One View to see All Perspectives.

Can we resolve our differences through seeing the Truth? Yes I think so. In this world we forgive because we love, we compromise because we care, but that’s not really ideal is it?

It’s quite not resolved, not completely satisfactory. It leaves a little to be asked. If we leave things out, not seeing it through till the end, it usually remains. Forgiveness is great yet without clarifying the root-cause it’s likely to return. Having said that, most things return nevertheless. But seeing the Truth of things will definitely help in resolving questions and it will establish a firm ground upon which we can meet. So the Truth is crucial.

To see it and to conform to it regardless of where we come from, independent of our particular perspective, we must come together realising the same thing. Love and Truth are the same thing. It’s a seeing, an objective view, we can share. That’s why there’s forgiveness and since conscious oneness is the ultimate union no compromises are needed.

Self Confession.

To speak your name

When you can't wait to hear it

Said out aloud

Proves the greatest risk.

Professing knowledge

Of your whereabouts

Is like leaving the door ajar

For you to return home.

Bearing testimony of you

Will not hold up in court

I'm sentenced long before

I have a chance to plead my case.

Swear to tell the truth, the

Whole truth, and nothing

But the truth, so help me

God I pray.

But as my only witness

You disclose nothing

Rendering my defence

Obsolete and silent.

Alas, you will have to serve

Time with me

Since you can't stand

Leaving me alone.

The First Floating Bridge.

In the Ramayana story, when Rama’s army reaches the ocean across which lies the island of Sri Lanka, the apes construct a floating bridge across the sea by writing the name of Rama on the stones and tossing them into the water. According to the legend, the stones didn’t sink because they had Rama's name written on them. Rama’s army then used the bridge to cross the sea towards Sri Lanka.

Going Absolute on You.

Personal memory is but a faint recognition of a mere minuscule fragment of our collective past experience. Imagine if you could hold the whole history of mankind since the very beginning in your consciousness. Imagine holding the whole evolution of the universe since the Big Bang in your mind. Imagine being there through it all. Your own experience would be the very history of everything that has ever taken place. Your own DNA containing all accumulated information passed down through generations and from long before life on Earth as well. Imagine how reassuring this would be. You would be conscious of yourself holding all the knowledge of the whole universe within your own being. But not just you but all of us, partaking in an evolving conscious universe that is awake to itself. Why fear death once you know your past stretches all the way back to the very beginning of time? The personal you is not an isolated event, it contains all that has come before. How uplifting isn’t that? It’ll blow your mind and open your heart. Entertain the Absolute in your heart and mind and never look back. See then your experience expand beyond proportion, remeasure everything you’ve been lead to believe and let your eyes be the stars from where you first came.

Spiritual Inquiry

Spiritual inquiry must stem from a personal interest in realising Truth. There must be belief that there is such a thing as absolute truth, an inner conviction or knowing that life is ultimately whole and coherent. That it is as it is called a cosmos and not mere chaos. That there is an underlying unity running through every part of it. Being self-aware that your heart longs for, and seeks this ultimate oneness in your self creates the drive to discover it. Wanting to come to a complete understanding of yourself is what spiritual inquiry is based on.

This investigation can be done in a group, together with others that share this passion. So parallel to your own very specific journey through life there’s an opportunity to share truth with others as a communal exploration. This will teach us that we are not separate in our engagements and that together we can discover and realise a larger context that becomes a shared spiritual experience.

For this reason I offer ‘Satsang Awakenings’, a group meeting to realise truth together through dialogue and directed inquiry.

If you and your group are interested please contact me for an initial meeting.

Animate Yourself.

When you train you need to reach deeper, find a different level of engagement. Activate your whole system, body and mind in sync. Physically come down, get ready. Fill yourself with Ki, or pull silk like they say in China. In all directions, centred and grounded. Move as one being, animated as a beautiful animal unaware of its grace. Use the strength that comes from a connected body in an effortless manner. Glide through space as if floating. Joints open and free. Fully aware, awake and conscious. Soft eyes judges not but don’t miss a thing. In the

body, all parts conscious and alive. This is just the set up, the preparation but in itself it’s enough.

The Hanuman Chalisa, praising his superhuman feats and miraculous powers is famous in India, very much similar to our present day Marvel superheroes. It’s well to be remembered that Hanuman is Shiva in disguise yet known as the foremost devotee of Lord Rama and his wife Sita. This animation is not meant for kids but for us adults to remind ourselves of our inherent potential and of what we can become.

Innate Happiness.

Not many speak of it. What is it? This question, ‘Are you happy?’ can be uncomfortable to answer for some. Because are we? Yes sometimes for sure, I can remember when. This time and that time. But is that it? Those wonderful moments of euphoria, of bliss and happiness. Memories of fleeting events, even lengthy passages of our lives. Yet is that what happiness is, moments of joy? Innate spiritual happiness points to something in place, something permanent. What if happiness could be your state of being? An underlying current of satisfaction that is always there? Whenever you look, it’s there.

It’s the reason for your joy, your sparkling personality and for your tears. Alone you’ll never fear, even in your darkest hour happiness never leaves you. Love shines through to the surface of emotion, reminding you of your own depth. Knowing your own happiness you’ll never go wrong. Share it with others and complete the unity. An old friend said; it’s like sitting on the beach basking in the sun. Just close your eyes and feel the heat permeate.

Who dies?

Not until the spiritual path has become a conscious endeavour.

Not until you know that you are on a spiritual journey to rot out ego. There is no vagueness about what you are up to. There is no hesitancy to state exactly what it is you do. The days of leisure are over. The spiritual path is lit up, there to be seen by all. Once you step onto it you can’t deny it. You can’t pretend it’s not there, you can’t ignore it and you can’t keep it a secret, pretending you’re too cool for school. If you think you can play it safe and not commit, you’ll disrespect and dishonour everything spirit stands for. Never be ashamed of standing up for truth. Don’t treat the spirit like a friend you don’t want to acknowledge in front of others. The spirit will never be your friend if you deny her. She is real so stop pretending she’s your private imagination.

Not until you decide to come out. Not until you declare your allegiance will she ever be of use and help to you. Not until you know who must die. Not until you know what is real. Not until you dare to say it, will anything ever change. You can’t play it safe anymore. So, who dies?

If you’re not willing to admit it then you haven’t even started.

Then you’re just full of talk with no substance.

Smoke gets into my eyes sitting by the fire all day.

Immersed in silent contemplation of my own inner space, allowing the mind to roam effortlessly between nooks and crags, in between rocks, down deep crevasses, through layers of self, fear not. Laying attention on things till they dissolve.

Daring to go to places you’ve never been before. Go into the darkness with this torch, with a bright searchlight. Dispelling ignorance and clarifying doubts as you go. Sitting in the sun,

baking till the skin burns. Turned inward and while time passes by, smoke fills my eyes tending my own funeral pyre.

Castles in the air.

Somehow the Buddhist homage that says ‘Sammasambuddhassa’ meaning ‘the fully completely self-Enlightened One’ (Lit. by removing the root-cause of future births by not accumulating things), speaks to me as not to assume things to be what they are not. We often stop short of finding out what the actual truth is and instead presume and assume what things means. This accumulates to create a whole made-up world based on nothing but supposition. In this way it is extreme to go all the way, not to accumulate anything in order to be free, fully enlightened. We have to do this every time, realise how extreme the truth is, till nothing remain for you to hold on to. Realise how little you actually know. Admit it and remain in a state of not knowing. This may not seem to be such a big deal but once you glimpse how much we assume on a daily basis and how that make up what we believe, we’ll be astounded. We’ll be shocked as our whole foundation will be taken away from us. Leaving us with nothing to fix our bearings to. This is quite exhilarating once you catch your breath again.

All of our ideas are seen just as they are; castles in the air.

What does it mean not to fight?

Can you see that your mindset dictate your engagement? Can you see how fear makes you react? Can you also see how wanting to win creates duality? Confidence enables you to

relax the need to combat but can you see when you close off and go into survival mode?

Where lies the difference? Can you see where the mental attitude changes? Where you go from ‘no fight’ to fight mode?

Can you detect the shift in yourself? Under pressure we automatically fall into ‘flight or fight’ mode. We desperately try to defend ourselves and we lock onto a back and forth, give and take just as if arguing. Locked into battle just like in the ring. Fight it out, both fully going for it. Can you see the mindset? Can we not train Aikido in that manner please? We don’t pit each other against each other. We practice uke and nage, give and take. We practice each part separately. We train to receive, to absorb and to direct. We flow with and do not contend. We learn to attack with clarity and precision but without locking up and going defensive. We do not practice a bout. We train specific skills, both as uke and as nage. We do not have a free fighting scenario. Can you see how even considering ‘trying to make it work’ is doomed to fail? You can’t use Aikido techniques in hand to hand combat. You can’t ‘pretend’ fight in Aikido. Detecting the shift in yourself is of vital importance. If you can’t recognise when you go from ‘no fight’ to ‘fight’, you won’t be able to understand the beauty of Aikido.

So we need to be able to point out this mindset at the beginning so we don’t waste time thinking we are learning Aikido in order to defend ourselves. If your mind is set on the duality of fight and defence you won’t be able to appreciate Aikido as O Sensei explained it; as a spiritual path of no confrontation. And this mindset of ‘no fight’ does not come about through mastering fighting even though the confidence you gained from your experience in fighting may loosen your fear and therefore be helpful, but ultimately it’s about understanding what the ‘no fight’ attitude means in yourself regardless of skill level. We must and need to discover the correct mindset at the outset of our practice. If not, all of our practice will be tainted by duality. Aikido is about learning about non-duality. Non-duality is about the truth of our being,

inherently conflict free. Therefore we must practice it. We must clarify it at the start of every practice session. We must detect it, recognise it, in ourselves and in others.

If you do not understand what is being said, you must ask for clarification. This shift of attitude is what makes O Sensei’s Aikido different from all other Budo. Can you take it onboard?

Do you train with no opponent?

No fight is no strategy.

There’s a difference in assuming control in a situation and in letting things be as they are. Assuming control is a vigilant strategy of being aware of your circumstances. Ready to act without a moments notice. It’s a warriors prerogative. Alert and ready. Fearless, skilled and unhesitant. This would constitute an admirable skill and combat effectiveness. Yet it’s not what I consider true Aikido. Though I can’t fault such an attitude and many a warrior would claim their invincibility upon it, yet it leaves me wanting. In Aikido you have opened up to the spiritual truths governing our universe. You have come to see it as a holistic whole where no thing is separate from another. In that there is no fear, not because you’re confident about your ability and skill but rather because you see no difference. There is no fight fundamentally in your world and as such you do not put up such a mindset as to defend. This is no guarantee that you’ll walk free from violence but it will assure you of not bowing into duality and separateness. This mindset, to me, is far superior to the warriors vigilance. The warrior may fare better in combat but that’s not guaranteed either.

To learn Aikido is to learn where there is no fight. To learn that we do not exist separate from the other and therefore naturally move in unison, as fish in the sea are moved as one in the current. If you’ve awakened to the natural flow of aiki you will

not set aside a time to practice separateness. You will move in oneness, in practice and in life. This is a mindset. Recognise this unique mode in yourself and learn to remain there even if challenged. This is very difficult but why not try?

What is a selfless uke?

As a kid we never resisted any technique. We just took it.

Thrown around and moved as nage pleased. We did not anticipate, we just followed. Moving into the adult class at fourteen I had no chance to resist. Light and soft I was an easy target. Staying connected was a matter of survival unless I wanted my limbs torn from me. Ukemi became second nature.

My body was my landing pad, with a nice bounce added.

Wrists got stronger, taking more pressure. This stood me well coming to Iwama where ukemi was relentless and unforgiving on the hard mats. Now in Iwama they resisted so the techniques were applied accordingly. The body took a beating there.

Today I see students and teachers alike anticipating the technique and going before it being applied. That throws nage completely off. Uke doesn’t get to feel what it means to be taken nor does nage get to execute correctly. Worst case scenario nage tries to catch up to close the gap to uke and puts it on extra fast. Recipe for disaster. To be uke don’t tighten up, remain centred and pliable. Don’t resist, you’re not helping.

Let nage know your limits before you train. Any damages?

Injuries? Fears? Speak with each other. As uke surrender your ego. Let nage have you, accept ukemi. Don’t collapse, don’t turn into jelly, don’t stop your intent. Be engaged yet not controlling. Don’t be the aiki police, that dictates what is correct and incorrect. Sometimes you see ukes who never surrender. They’ll never give themselves away. Training becomes futile. Nage is going through the motions but is never

allowed to control uke. I’ve seen this a lot in Hombu dojo. With an air of aloofness judansha feel invincible in their ability to completely destroy nages attempt to learn a technique. I’m sure many of you have been on the receiving end of this.

So learn the art of ukemi, remaining cool under pressure and being able to receive anything coming your way.

Riding home...

Into the setting sun, the land is so giving and beautiful. Leonard Cohen’s best live on the car stereo, no traffic and I float through the shifting landscapes. My mind drops into my heart and there’s so much happiness spilling over. This world is so extraordinary, so special, I can’t but smile and almost shed a tear. The sun coming through the trees, the Wiltshire high fields and open skies, Stonehenge becomes the centre of the universe, the rock formation we all circumnavigate. Bob Marley sings his redemption song and I’m in bliss. Flowing into Somerset, the rolling green hills greet me as a homecoming.

My mystical bird flies me home. Happiness for no reason but from life itself.

Everything happens in relationship.

Life itself happens in an ongoing interactive relationship.

Everything you do always relates to something else or to someone else. From the deepest spiritual to the overly mundane. For there to be any motion there has to be the inherent polarity, the positive and negative poles to activate each other. To act without taking into consideration this

immediate relationship you have with all situations you find yourself in, is to ignore the living reality of the non-dual. It is to set yourself apart, place yourself on an island and do harm both to yourself and to the other. When you see that you exist within a relationship you will see how imperative it is to act in accordance with it. If we don’t, we immediately separate ourselves from life itself, isolating ourselves to a very lonely existence. So knowing duality ensures you act in oneness.

Even within yourself, within your singular Self exists a constant movement of relationships. Breathing in and breathing out, time and space, making up our bodily existence. There’s no denying it, no ignoring it, so the more aware you are the richer will your experience be. You’ll find yourself in a sea of connectivity, a mosaic web of relationships extending far out in all directions. Indra’s net comes to mind.

I hold my hands up.

I don’t know how to do this. I try but is yet to find it in myself. I stretch and pull, strain too much and tense up. I must do my homework. I’m such a lazy git. But I’ve seen too much to give up. I’ve already got the t-shirt so better get with it. C’mon this is my own pep talk. Back to the classroom of the dojo. Fail and fail again is the mantra. Humble pie is the medicine. Back off guys, can’t you see I’m trying. Here we go again. Thank you Dan Harden.

Secret Arts

Does it matter what skill a man has if his heart isn’t awakened?

Does his opinion count if his mind is deluded? If his heart is open he sees no enemy. If his mind is free he sees no

obstacles. There are no secrets in Truth. But if the eyes are shut everything is concealed.

Can you distinguish between the real and the unreal?

Have you met the real? If we haven’t we won’t be able to distinguish clearly. Blatant lies and corruption we all can see but the subtle nuances and depth of understanding is beyond most peoples capabilities to grasp unless we have seen the real. The real which is Truth itself, will reveal to you your true nature; who you are before time and space. That will give you the distance and objectivity to distinguish the real from the unreal. From this point on we can establish our ‘new’ self, becoming our real Self. But we must learn to see the difference between an authentic representation of Truth and the mere lip service to it. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all on the path, far from the lofty height of transcendence but we need to establish the norms regarding spiritual experience and expression. Humility is in order. Spiritual jargon deflects more than inform. Authentic teachings can be found, either from realised people and/or from authentic lineages. Don’t be fooled nor deluded.

Truth is not a subjective matter.

It’s an objective reality that is recognised in relationship. How you interact reveal the depth of your surrender. Reality is not an inner knowing, private to yourself. If real you’d be able to demonstrate it and share it with all you meet. If you sit back, harbouring a belief that you know something and yet not able to share it, you’re mistaken. Truth is only as real as you make it.

But the good thing is that Truth is forgiving. It doesn’t demand for you to have it down to perfection but it is patient and will

encourage your attempts to be real. ‘Be here now’ points to the directness of engagement. Responding from an unknown place can be disconcerting but that’s the risk we must take. Assume nothing and dare to enact a non-dual perspective where there is no separation between you and the other. Avoid nothing and don’t lend weight to your inner vision unless it serves you in your daily activity. To demonstrate it you need to use what is at hand, no need to manufacture any outside props. Separate yourself from it mentally and you’ll be a million miles away. Use it in the moment and you’ll have nothing to claim since it’s not yours to own.

The Art of Communication.

If we are looking for consensus just to have people agree with you, it’s not really what a shared investigation into the real nature of things is. We don’t dialogue about Truth just to share an opinion. Nor is it a forum to agree or disagree with different perspectives. We don’t counter one idea with another as to add into the mix just for the sake of it. We don’t argue for arguments sake. If we are sincere we enter into a conversation with intent to understand the reasoning behind it in order to fully appreciate and engage with it as a participant and not as a bystander. We want to join in and if we have questions or don’t understand we ask. If we grasp the essence of the line of inquiry we help elucidate it from our own perspective. But we do it to highlight its impersonal quality, revealing how it can be viewed as a shared perspective and be a shared understanding. The aim of spiritual inquiry is not only to wake up the individual but to elucidate a field of awareness that we can truly call impersonal and which we all can partake in if we abandon our habitual self-referencing. This is the crux of the matter, to set aside your own ego in order to discover a shared

platform. Spiritual inquiry should always strive to reach as far as possible, beyond a merely selfish engagement to a wider communion including all who dare to enter. I say dare because it is frightening to give up one’s egos self-referencing. Personal enlightenment only takes you so far. At one point you’ll have to leave that behind. People thrive on arguments and it’s even heralded as something good. I’d like to suggest a different approach. One where we seek a shared understanding, not based on a consensus of agreeing to agree but on a quest for ultimate Truth. A Truth that is true for all once seen and experienced. This is simply laying out the necessary guidelines for an interactive investigation into Spirit, wishing to establish a foundation or platform on which we can build. Then it’s up to each one of us to join in and participate with a similar intent; to leave ourselves behind to discover something new together.

This is what I call an open and directed dialogue. There are many platforms out there, most dealing with personal salvation with or without a larger context attached. Yet not many are addressing our shared humanity as a whole. Addressing our human nature as One in both word and action. The question remains, can we realise it? Together? I’m convinced we can.

What is Communion?

‘Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.’

“This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

As often as you drink it, as often as you eat it. Every time you sit down to eat we can have this communion. Supper is a time to come together after the day’s work. We gather and share a meal and drink together.

Once after an Aikido seminar a few of us gathered for dinner.

Maybe seven or eight of us, close friends, we were happy and lighthearted. It was suggested that each of us would say something from our heart; to share our experience with each other. I felt compelled from within. Something wanted to come out, and as we went around the table my turn came to speak.

As I raised my glass of red wine to toast I said; this is the blood of Christ and no sooner had I spoken, from my inside the Spirit came forth into the room and filled everyone. We all felt it and were jolted awake. It was so powerful and beautiful. When we trust and dare to believe, Faith exists in abundance. Spirit is so much more than our own little experience of life. It fills the whole universe, overflows into our lives and grants us togetherness where each one of us are completely free.

Now remember, they met in the upper room for the last supper.

Upstairs, elevated as on a platform, raised up to meet our maker. This is a story of an everlasting mystery that can be enacted today, as often as you choose. All you need to do is to remember.

Educating Uke.

Why would you suddenly loose all your principles when being on the receiving end of a technique? If you’re centred and pulling silk when applying a technique why not when receiving?

So now you remain centred receiving, absorbing as much as you can without overly resisting. Solid yet supple. Allowing nage to perform the technique and as long as he/she correctly executes, no need to be difficult. Stay with it, if there are any holes or gaps your balance will reveal them. This approach will

help nage to perform more precise and it will help you (uke) feel closer. Never anticipate your ukemi and take it in advance.

Connect your body and limbs, centred move with nage and let him bring you down. Never compromise your physical integrity.

This does not mean you suddenly close up and become immovable. You still remain an able uke, helping nage improve his form and even though you’re the receiver and are thrown or pinned, you stay connected and pliable throughout. This will greatly enhance your practice and slowly you’ll gain a better notion of blending because of it. Mind you, this does not mean you’re in control. You do act fully the receiver and as such you can’t at the same time exert full control. That would nullify nages attempt to perform. Yet you remain centred and retain your intent of attack. It’s a fine balance that you need to decipher; don’t be a wet blanket nor an immovable block.

Somewhere in between you’ll find the perfect fit.

Get into the ring with me.

Let’s spar! Take off your gloves and let’s have a go. But it’s not your standard boxing bout I propose but more of a gentler kind. A dialogue of sorts. Where depth of insight have to match your outward expression. But not in the shadowboxing way, solo performance against your own mirror image, but a live primetime engaged dialogue about the nature of spiritual awakening; what it is, what it does, and what it means? We need two or more to get this off the ground. We need the exchange, the interaction. ‘For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.’ This we must authenticate. We must make this come alive amongst us.

All spiritual dialogue has this purpose. All Satsang is meant for this awakening. This is the challenge. To enter the ring to die to your self. ‘True victory, is instant victory over self ‘ as O Sensei put it. Now, are you up for the fight?

I have a dream.

I saw myself walking down the street in downtown Stockholm.

Lots of people about, the usual busy city scene. Everyone I met, I mean every single one, I greeted with a smile, ‘hi how are you, hey nice to see you, hi there, lovely day isn’t it’. I knew them all and they knew me. At the time I thought this is gonna be challenging, Stockholm having a million inhabitants. But the fact remained, we all knew each other, not only knew but also liked. We were friends even if we’d never met before.

Somehow this was natural. They were me and I was them. We all were one yet so many.

So I kind of had this spin off, me walking like Travolta in Brooklyn (with music) greeting my neighbours, ‘hey how ya’ll doin’. Now I knew I was dreaming.

Inner Vision.

Don’t focus your eyes on anything outside. Rest your sight in itself, as if you’re in neutral and the motor is running idle. From where does the sight issue? Where is its source? Follow your gaze back into your eyes, into the space just behind them, somewhere in the centre of your head. This is as if you had reversed your seeing, now looking inwards into your head. And it’s true as we actually don’t see ‘out’ but it is the light coming into our eyes that makes us see. So looking within is really just following the light in, bringing your awareness to the centre of your vision experience. This can feel quite liberating as you’ll find that this view is completely objective with no emotion or thought attached to it. Like a camera lens recording things just as they are. The great thing though is that we can ‘see’ emotion. Objectively we can see everything, inside and out, in ourselves and in others. Nothing is hidden from this clear vision. And you’ll realise it stays the same whether your eyes

are open or shut. The vision experience remain constant. You can’t alter it.

“The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be single, your whole body shall be full of light.”

With the body full of light, joy is natural and easy. Remain within and let the light guide you.

The temptation to compete.

How quick we change. One challenge and we’re at it.

Seemingly from an innocent attempt to test a little and all hell breaks loose. Not flagrant to begin with but persist and it escalates. Resentment is stirred but kept under keeps pretending it’s nothing. Yet we all can feel the separation that it incur. So some open it up in a friendly way to use it as a training tool. Find trouble spots and resolve them. Work it out in the spirit of a shared endeavour, pressure testing they call it.

Trouble shooting the clinches, snags and openings that present a problem once you address them as such. Kata practice and the Uke/Nage interactive relationship are set-up training tools with semi-fixed rules of engagement. Once we begin to inject resistance and block as to highlight flaws we open Pandora’s box, there’s no end to it. Because we can do that ad infinitum and never get any wiser for it. Maybe it serves some purpose for actual combat readiness but it’s far away from the Aikido motto of not having a competitive mindset. There’s another way to address shortcomings in your Aikido practice; by perfecting your ukemi, your receptivity. By naturally following without compromising your physical integrity any flaws will become apparent in nages execution. Not because you decide to block or test nage but because you follow perfectly. Nages inability will be seen but without uke having to compete or challenge. Now can we become sensitive enough to see this

urge to ‘compete’ as something counterproductive to our Aikido? Do you want to see it?

What we bring to the table.

“Let us into the court to part the spoil, share and share like."

The heavenly court filled with treasures once we enter we get to share its riches with each other. The meaning is with each other, not share as to get your own to take home. It’s not for us to stash away. We only partake in it because we share it. Once invited bring your gift to the mix. Your gift is yourself. One life contain so much, imagine times ten, times hundred. What you bring adds and increases the sum total. This is the beauty of communion. To partake in humanity itself enriches your experience a thousandfold. In it all of our differences are the colours that make up the mosaic of life. Your life is more than just you. Your history, your family, your culture and more is part of a very deep relationship that travels back in time connecting us to our past. This brocade has been weaved since the beginning of time and your thread is one of billions interlacing with each other creating this extraordinary world. So what you bring to the table is utterly meaningful and beautiful.

Observational.

“I learn from you” he said when I asked him how to gain his wisdom. I had traveled to south India to meet this little known beggar-saint Sri Ram Surat Kumar. We had asked to meet with him the day before and as I sat down next to him outside his ashram he took my hand in his. My first question was about the nature of the spiritual quest. Everything is God! Only God exists! Look around you, everything is God! His reply was

simple yet commanding. My follow-on of how to realise that perspective gave me that surprising response, ‘I learn from you’. All the while his grip on my hand was firm and strong. I enjoyed his company and we were left sitting in silence. That night I was experiencing a high fever and my body was shaking as if I was about to die. I only thought that if I die please let me be buried on this mountain. We were staying in Ramanashram in Tiruvannamalai by the foot of one of the holiest mountains in India, Arunachala; the abode of Shiva. Our beautiful saint had lived as a renunciant by the gates of the temple, watched people come and go over decades. While intoning the name of God as his mantra he observed life around him. ‘I learn from you’ continues to ring in my ear. The craft of observation, to be able simply to see without injecting. Over time we learn everything there is to know about human behaviour. We see it in so many different shapes and forms, we learn about ourselves.

Within the heart cave.

Stay within and listen. Milarepa said, ”I study my mind.

Therefore all appearances are my scriptures.” Why look elsewhere? When anything you see reveal the true Dharma.

Your mind may move but so does the wind, the moon and the sun. As I walk this Earth nothing remains the same. Through it all I meditate alone inside my heart-cave, immovable yet as if flying still. Free as an eagle soaring high. Seer and seen merging into one, listening to every word coming from the exalted one. All things resounding with the Truth. No one can keep quiet.

Walking in the footsteps of Buddha’s of the past.

In the jungle of Thailand, in the cool shade of the canopy up above. Direct sunlight never hit the forest floor. In silence the monks walks barefoot, following one another round a welltrodden path for their evening meditation. It just hits me how this tradition has been unbroken since 2500 years of Buddhism. It feels intimately like I’m following all those that have gone before. I see them walk ahead as dusk settles. More than imagination, it’s like the veils of history are parted and all times past partake in this moment now. This multi dimensional display is helped by the evening twilight and its changing shadows. My mind has lost any sense of fixed structure.

Letting it dissolve into a fluid state I walk slowly step by step, eyes cast down. Present eternal moment.

Remove the slack.

Not with force but with a gentle pull. Within as well as without.

Connected everything becomes easier. Refine your senses, go from a gross to a subtle feeling. Like a sailor adjusting his sails to the changing wind, reeling in and letting out, fine tuning as he carves through the water. And so it is with uke and nage, adjust accordingly; blend, match and fit the engagement. Don’t do violence upon the circumstances, remain perfectly within the context of the situation. The larger the context the larger the sensitivity needed. So removing the slack in the end points to removing the slack to life itself. You, the wind and the sea become one.

Science is the opium of the people.

Or was it religion? Things have changed, at least in the godforsaken countries of Northern Europe where religion is but a faint whisper of what it used to be. In Scandinavia instead we rely on education, common sense and on the aesthetic beauty of nature. God forbid that ultimate reality would have anything to do with Spirit. Science is what we put our faith in. Whether or not we understand it doesn’t really come into it. Pretty much as we did with religion. Either one, taken superficially, render our worldview narrow and materialistic. The deeper you go into either, the more mysterious and wondrous it becomes. Yet it is from where we look that decides the outcome. On what side of the lens do we stand to take our measurements? Do you look from within outwards, or from the outside in? Scientific evidence suggests to examine everything from the outside in, while religious experience is determined from inside out. Both have to undergo rigorous examination over time to be properly evaluated and verified and both are but part of an evolutionary process of understanding who and what we are, where we come from and where we’re going. Deep theological thought is but that very process over millennia. No doubt that scientific progress greatly influences religious thought and keeps us real.

Yet without including the spiritual domain, science will sadly only be a tool for knowledge and less so for wisdom. Inherent love and compassion exists yet without its companion wisdom, it won’t have the power to liberate; to set free the soul from its own blind spot; the knowledge-infested self-identity I am.

Contrarianism.

Very common. You know it, when you say something there’s always a remark making an argument or stating another point of view. Quite irritating as it immediately dismisses what you’ve

said. It’s kind of taken for granted that this is the way to communicate. I say my thing and you say yours and at the end of the day nothing at all has been said. Everybody has an opinion about everything. So when you want to speak about any specific thing we don’t get very far as the other immediately changes the subject, inferring their own view, in fact trying to highjack the conversation. This is seen as normal and when pointed out they feign ignorance. It becomes a tit for tat and everybody gets a say. Quite exhausting in the long run.

Instead I’ll put on my listening ears and I’ll hear you out.

Differentiate between the man and his office.

Many times we muddle the distinction between the two. That does not mean to say that the man is not responsible for his actions in office but it points to the fact that his office is larger than the man. “Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.” This is its understanding in its most profound meaning.

Once we’re able to distinguish between the two we’ll see what that mean for us personally. How we are, each one of us, obliged to uphold something greater than ourselves as a measure of humankind. This notion is inherent once you mature into your own being. You’ll recognise there’s something greater than yourself, in yourself, that needs to be honoured.

Ramakrishna bowed down to his disciple Vivekananda as he entered and Vivekananda was perplexed; ‘Why are you bowing to me, your student?’ Ramakrishna replied, ‘I don’t bow to you, I bow to what your orange renunciant robe stand for.’ We bow to the greater part of each other, to the office we hold, not necessarily to the person. We respect and distinguish each person because of this inherent birthright. But we never muddle the two. That’s why we can forgive yet hold each other

accountable. Know each one in their own capacity and in their office.

A-R-T-I-C-U-L-A-T-E

Being able to put into words what we experience requires insight and truth. To accurately describe an event calls on us to be transparent so we will be able to reflect the truth in minute detail. The Zen expression ‘see things as they are’ points to this precise discernment. Yet seeing is not enough, we must articulate it. In order to make our understanding real we need to be able to express it clearly. Only then will truth mean anything in the human world. All things are already in a state of perfection. When we wake up and realise this phenomenal truth we are astounded. Our jaw drops and we become in awe of this natural world. Now how do we bridge the gap to the human world of conflict, strife and ignorance? Only by learning to articulate what you see truthfully, without being affected and coloured by your own or others ego and biases, unadorned and free from personal considerations. Seeing things the way they really are can only be done from the not-known, prior to our minds understanding, and our capability to respond and express rests solely on knowing of its radiance of love. Love being the very essence and embodiment of truth. Power issues when your word match and correspond with truth and love.

Wait for it. Don’t speak too soon. Articulate it. Upon contact power issues.

When we compare.

Comparison is a killer. The unfortunate habit of comparing ourselves with others almost always have a detrimental effect

on our self esteem. We keep doing it almost as an addiction. If you decide to kick the habit, going cold turkey can feel really weird. Almost as you’re missing out on the relationship to others. Like if you don’t care for them anymore. But maybe that will show you what a real relationship can be like? To stop comparing yourself with others can really feel like you’re isolating yourself or separating from the crowd. It takes independence to stand alone so yes it takes courage. But if you do you’ll see how free from fear you can be meeting anyone. You’ll be happy to meet them just as they are. And you’ll find a richness in the relationship that can only come about by allowing each other to be who they are, and by doing so we grow together.

MUSUBI 奾Ήፓ- ΖͯΉΗ

Musubi is generative energy from the sun. Related words are umusu, begetting; musu, to fecundate/brew/steam; bi, Hi, the sun, fire, light, life, soul, deity. Musubi has forward exhaling motion and backward inhaling motion.

Musubi also means binding or connecting things for a new life, i.e., generative binding. Thus, through the harmonious collaboration of the Musubi Kami all things can generate, grow and ripen. Musubi in this sense is considered a cosmic principle.

Thirdly, musubi means completion or conclusion.

So the two strands or threads that combine to make the knot are, according to Shinto tradition: The Yin and Yang of Aikido.

1. TAKAMI MUSUBI NO KAMI

High Productive Kami. This kami is the forward movement. See also Koto Amatsu Kami.

Takagi no Kami is an alternate name, meaning high tree deity, growing life and the Tree of Life, the life cycle from seed to seed.

Characteristics: forward

exhaling

centrifugal

male

heaven-related

vertical

2. KAMI MUSUBI NO KAMI

Divine Productive Kami. This kami is the backward movement.

Characteristics: backward

inhaling

centripetal,

female,

earth-related,

horizontal.

Transformation

You have to become soft so you can be moulded. When we sit in meditation we don’t want to be hard. A rigid body implies a rigid mind. Don’t sit like a block of wood or stone. Yes be still but open your senses, let your body be affected. Let it respond from within in a natural way. It knows what’s best for it and will release tension where it finds it. When you meet the sacred before you, your system, your body, mind and heart will adjust and transform to fit what you encounter. When you see the

sacred in all things and in all people your heart will give. A moulding process begins, transforming you to match and complete the other. Some call it a healing process but it’s really just a beautiful process of change and adaptation. It’s a living ongoing quality where you constantly allow your system to be moulded to fit the situation. From afar you affect those you care for. Tune in and listen in, your body will resonate. Open over distance and trust it to be so.

Spiral Dynamics

or Aikido with a twist?

How was I to know? Nobody told me! It is a revelation and now I see it everywhere. It is in the Japanese mythology, in the origin stories, in the shrines, in the ceremonies, in the clothing, in the names and emblems, in the techniques and the principles. Our planet does it, our solar system and our whole galaxy. It has NEVER been a secret! It’s in our DNA for gods sake! Rotation, or Kaiten in Japanese. Nishio Sensei’s first principle. Kaiten does not refer to the perimeter circumference of a circle but to the rotation along its central axis. And as we move in time it spirals forward. Unless we want to be stationary, standing still, the circular motion becomes a spiral in time. Extremely powerful, and most so along its core central axis. Now why didn’t I think of that? I can only thank the teachers pointing out the obvious. Okey back to the dojo to sort this out.

Sudarshan Chakra

The Sudarshan Chakra is the only divine weapon which is constantly in motion. It could perform millions of rotations

every second and has the capability to travel several million yojanas at the very blink of an eye. It is not thrown, but with willpower it is sent against the enemy. The literal meaning of Sudarshan Chakra is “one that has auspicious vision.” In fact, the word Sudarshan Chakra is composed of two Sanskrit words, “Su” + “Darshan” meaning auspicious (Su) vision (Darshan). The word Chakra is derived from ‘chruhu’ meaning movement and ‘kruhu’ meaning to do. So, Chakra means that which is mobile. Lord Vishnu is portrayed holding the Chakra in his right rear hand of the four hands. Lord Vishnu adorns the Sudarshan Chakra on his index finger like a ring. He also holds a Shankha (conch shell), a Gada (mace) and a Padma (lotus) in his other hands.

In the Puranas, the Sudarshana Chakra was made by the architect of gods, Vishvakarma. Vishvakarma's daughter Sanjana was married to Surya (the Sun god). Due to the Sun's blazing light and heat, she could not go near the Sun. She complained to her father about this. Vishvakarma made the sun shine less so that his daughter could hug the Sun. The leftover stardust was collected by Vishvakarma and made into three divine objects;

1. The aerial vehicle Pushpaka Vimana.

2. Trishula of Shiva.

3. Sudarshana Chakra of Vishnu. The Chakra is described to have 10 million spikes in two rows moving in opposite directions to give it a serrated edge. The Sudarshana Chakra was used to cut the corpse of Sati, the consort of Shiva into 51 pieces after she gave up her life by throwing herself in a yagna (fire sacrifice) of her father Daksha. Shiva, in grief, carried around her lifeless body and was inconsolable. The 51 parts of the goddess' body were then tossed about in different parts of the Indian subcontinent and became "Shakti Peethas".

The Sudarshan Chakra has twelve spokes and six navels. Its center is composed of “Vajra.” It is said that the words “Om

Sahasrara hum phat” (सहस्रात् हुं फट्) are inscribed on each of its spokes. The twelve spokes of Sudarshan Chakra are believed to represent the twelve months of the Hindu Lunar calendar as well as the twelve deities (Soma, Indra, Varuna, Vayu, Agni, Vij, Mitra, Indragni, Prajapati...). The six navels represent the six seasons.

The stable middle part: They are named as Bhruvi (equality), Bhag (radiance), Sampada (nectar of nutrition), and Nirdesh (speed).

The spokes: consists of twenty-seven feminine principles created from Prajapati. It contains yoginipanchak – the five cosmic elements. It is beyond all restrictions of direction and time.

These cosmic elements are described as:

◦ Yogini

◦ Lakshmi

◦ Narayani

◦ Murdhini

◦ Randhra

The Parigh (periphery): It has eight masculine principles.

◦ Aditya

◦ Varuni

◦ Juhu

◦ Narayan

◦ Navadha

◦ Gandhi

◦ Mahish

It is so small that it can be kept on the tip of a leaf of Tulsi plant and at the same time it is so big that it can cover the entire universe.

Once it is released, the Sudarshan Chakra annihilates the enemy and returns back to the one who wielded it. Even after its release, the Sudarshan Chakra remains in complete control of the one who wielded it. The Chakra chooses the Shunyamarg (path of zero stress nature) for traveling and hence can reach anywhere within a moment. It increases its speed when posed with an obstacle. It is called as “Hansagati.”

◦ It is soundless/noiseless.

◦ It has tremendous power to destroy everything.

There are various mythological stories narrating how the divine weapon – Sudarshan Chakra came into being. Some believe that it was created by the combined energies of Brahma, Vishnu, and Mahesh (Shiva). Other scriptures state that it was given to Lord Vishnu by Guru Brihaspati. There is one popular mythological story that describes the origin of Vishnu Sudarshan Chakra.

Once it so happened that the cosmic gods were suffering badly at the hands of the demons. They decided to seek the help of Lord Vishnu. So, they approached Lord Vishnu and requested Him to protect them from the demons or Asuras.

At this, Lord Vishnu told the Devtas (cosmic Gods) that He did not possess the necessary weapon that was required to defeat the demons. However, Lord Vishnu consoled them that He would seek help from Shiva and requests Him to give a special weapon that could overpower and defeat the demons.

So, Vishnu went to Lord Shiva. He found Lord Shiva sitting in a state of meditation. Vishnu started praying to Lord Shiva hoping that He would soon come out of His state of trance.

Shiva remained in this state of trance for several years.

However, Vishnu continued His penance and prayed Him chanting Lord Shiva’s name and offering him lotus flowers.

Finally, after many years, Shiva came out of the state of trance.

Lord Vishnu’s joy knew no bounds. He ran and gathered one

thousand lotus blossoms so that He could worship Lord Shiva and ask for a special boon.

Shiva was immensely pleased with the prayers of Lord Vishnu.

However, he decided to test Lord Vishnu’s devotion towards him. So, Lord Shiva secretly stole one of the lotus flowers.

Now, there were only 999 lotus flowers. Lord Vishnu started to worship Shiva and offered Him the lotus flowers while chanting Lord Shiva’s name. At last, Vishnu found that one lotus flower was missing. He had only counted 999 lotus flowers. It meant that Vishnu had to go and search for yet another lotus flower.

However, instead of doing so, Lord Vishnu plucked one of his eyes and placed it in front of Lord Shiva. Seeing such immense devotion of Lord Vishnu, Shiva exclaimed, “I am extremely pleased with your devotion. I will grant anything that you want”.

Hearing these words, Vishnu requested Lord Shiva to give him a powerful weapon that can easily overpower all the demons.

Lord Shiva then gave Vishnu the Sudarshan Chakra that would help Vishnu to conquer all his enemies.

There is yet another very popular legend behind the origin of Sudarshan Chakra. According to this theory, the Sudarshan Chakra was created from the Sun’s rays.

Vishwakarma, the architect of the cosmic Gods, had married his daughter Sanjana to Surya Deva. However, due to the intense heat and light of Surya, Sanjana was unable to look at him and was neither able to approach him. Sanjana told this misery to her father, Vishwakarma.

On hearing this request, Vishwakarma decided to lessen Surya’s shine. He collected Sun dust and made three objects.

One was Lord Shiva’s Trishul, the next was Pushpaka Vamana, and the third one was the Sudarshan Chakra.

Lord Krishna generally balanced the chakra in his little finger though Lord Vishnu in his index finger. It is supposed that once the divine chakra has demolished its enemy, it returns back to the person who attacks with it. As a result it is said that even after the introduction, it remains in the control of the warrior. It

travels long, long distances and comes back from anywhere within a moment. Sudarshan Chakra got still when a barrier comes in its way and the speed of the chakra increases after that (see Sumi-Kiri).

In mythological descriptions, Indra's thunderbolt or vajra is shaped either like a circular discus with a hole at its center, or in the form of a cross with transverse bladed bars.

According to Hindu religious scriptures and particularly the Vedas, Indra God is the King of Svarga (Heaven) and the leader of the Devas. Indra is the God of thunder, lightning, storms, rains, and river flows. Lord Indra is the God of War, the greatest of all warriors, and the strongest of all beings. Indra is known as the defender of Gods, the one who protects humanity against all the evil forces. He rides in a golden chariot (across the heavens) wielding the celestial weapon Vajra, the lightning bolt. It is believed that his powerful weapon Vajra has been made from the bones of sage Dadichi. Lord Indra also uses the bow, a net, and a hook in battle.

The earliest mention of the vajra is in the Rigveda, part of the four Vedas. It is described as the weapon of Indra, the chief among Gods. Indra is described as using the vajra to kill sinners and ignorant persons. The Rigveda states that the weapon was made for Indra by Tvastar, the maker of divine instruments. The associated story describes Indra using the vajra, which he held in his hand, to slay the asura Vritra, who took the form of a serpent. On account of his skill in wielding the vajra, some epithets used for Indra in the Rigveda were Vajrabhrit (bearing the vajra), Vajrivat or Vajrin (armed with the vajra), Vajradaksina (holding the vajra in his right hand), and Vajrabahu or Vajrahasta (holding the vajra in his hand). The association of the Vajra with Indra was continued with some modifications in the later Puranic literature, and in Buddhist works. Buddhaghoᚣa, a major figure of Theravada Buddhism in the 5th century, identified the Bodhisattva Vajrapani with Indra.

Many later puranas describe the vajra, with the story modified

from the Rigvedic original. One major addition involves the role of the Sage Dadhichi. According to one account, Indra, the king of the deva was once driven out of devaloka by an asura named Vritra. The asura was the recipient of a boon whereby he could not be killed by any weapon that was known till the date of his receiving the boon and additionally that no weapon made of wood or metal could harm him. Indra, who had lost all hope of recovering his kingdom was said to have approached Shiva who could not help him. Indra along with Shiva and Brahma went to seek the aid of Vishnu. Vishnu revealed to Indra that only the weapon made from the bones of Dadhichi would defeat Vritra. Indra and the other deva therefore approached the sage, whom Indra had once beheaded, and asked him for his aid in defeating Vritra. Dadhichi acceded to the deva's request but said that he wished that he had time to go on a pilgrimage to all the holy rivers before he gave up his life for them. Indra then brought together all the waters of the holy rivers to Naimisha Forest, thereby allowing the sage to have his wish fulfilled without a further loss of time. Dadhichi is then said to have given up his life by the art of yoga after which the gods fashioned the vajrayudha from his spine. This weapon was then used to defeat the asura, allowing Indra to reclaim his place as the king of devaloka.

Another version of the story exists where Dadhichi was asked to safeguard the weapons of the gods as they were unable to match the arcane arts being employed by the asura to obtain them. Dadhichi is said to have kept at the task for a very long time and finally tiring of the job, he is said to have dissolved the weapons in sacred water which he drank. The deva returned a long time later and asked him to return their weapons so that they might defeat the asura, headed by Vritra, once and for all.

Dadhichi however told them of what he had done and informed them that their weapons were now a part of his bones.

However, Dadhichi, realising that his bones were the only way by which the deva could defeat the asura willingly gave his life in a pit of mystical flames he summoned with the power of his

austerities. Brahma is then said to have fashioned a large number of weapons from Dadhichi's bones, including the vajrayudha, which was fashioned from his spine. The deva are then said to have defeated the asura using the weapons thus created.

Dadhichi then went into a deep meditative state and released his life force from his body. The celestial Kamadhenu Calf then licked and removed the flesh from his bones, after which the Devas fashioned the Vajrayudha (Thunderbolt) from his spine and made numerous other weapons.

An instrument symbolizing vajra is also extensively used in the rituals of the tantra. It consists of a spherical central section, with two symmetrical sets of five prongs, which arc out from lotus blooms on either side of the sphere and come to a point at two points equidistant from the centre, thus giving it the appearance of a "diamond sceptre", which is how the term is sometimes translated.

Vajra

A weapon they say? A ceremonial tool? A symbol? But what is it really? It’s just as like with so many things, we take it on hearsay and we never probe any further. The superficial if not downright wrong understanding of important historic relics and scriptures that point to something real and universal. Much if not all of our past religious and spiritual inheritance are ways to communicate deeper truths to us. Yet so often their real significance allude us because we can’t be bothered to seek their meaning in our own lives. Yes, all spiritual items, artefacts and symbols points to an inner relationship our body and soul has to spirit. All spiritual messages can and should be revealed within our own conscious awareness through revelation and

insight. Only then will they make sense and become true indicators of what’s possible. The Vajra represent an acquired skill using the body, energy and mind to harness extraordinary function. To embody certain principles takes practice and to practice we need a teacher who have the skillset and who can teach it. Ultimately all religious teaching points to an embodied relationship with spirit, where universal principles converge as a living experience in our own body and mind. Spirit becomes so much more than mere head-knowledge. It is fascinating knowing there are so many hidden treasures in all of our religious culture. Seek and you shall find. Not just one truth but infinite truths that aects us in this life and in the next.

Spiral continuity.

When we come to the end of the line, the spiral turns naturally around and continues its trajectory without folding back on itself. A wonderful discovery in Aikido. So when we have exhausted a dual opposing spiral through the body it turns gently without needing any new input, retaining the integrity of the body motion. This can apply equally to uke as well as nage.

The wondrous quality is that it feels like an infinite loop that never has to return from where it came.

O Sensei

“I believe it was the spring of 1925. It happened when I was taking a walk alone in the backyard. All of a sudden the earth and heaven shook and I saw the golden air spewing out of the ground. This air wrapped around me around and I felt I also became a golden body. As soon as it happened my body and my mind became very light and I understood everything around

me including what the birds were saying. At that moment, I realised that I had a clear understanding of the will of the God who created the universe. At the same time, I received the enlightenment that the foundation of Budo is God’s love and the spirit of universal love. When I realised the message was from heaven it moved me so greatly that I could not stop the tears falling from my eyes. Ever since that moment, I consider the entire earth as my home and all the stars in the universe are my family. As a result, I totally lost my interest and the desire not only for the monetary materials but also the status, honour and even the desire to win in a fight.” Ueshiba also explained about the human being and what we are. “Human beings do not exist separately as we see with our eyes. Instead we are all connected in the spirit world as all of us are created with the Ki that fills the universe.”

If I pray like a Muslim

I will gain insight into Islam which means submission. It’s an absolute beautiful experience and recognition of what it means to be submitted to God. It will be easy to bow my head to the ground no matter how many times.

If I meditate like a Buddhist I will gain direct insight into Sunyata, the nothingness that underlines all manifestation. I will become acquainted with the four noble truths and the eightfold noble path. I will see clearly now the way that leads from suffering to peace, to the end of craving and clinging.

If I dance like Shiva and see Godhead in Krishna my life will be transformed and Shakti will be my companion forever. The Holy Mother will bless me with her Darshan and all scriptures will come alive within me.

If I love Jesus his blood will not only cover me but the whole surface of the Earth will be sealed with his sacrifice and you will be my brother and my sister.

If I listen to our elders, our shamans and medicine men and women, people who still live in the spirit world, I will venerate all of life, give thanks to the sky and the moon, to the sea and to the earth.

If I surrender my life to my Guru I might even have a chance for redemption, to freedom from the known. Truth will truly set me free.

Now, how can the Ego ever claim any of this? Truth is seeing and understanding. Truth is Love and Love is Truth.

The Great Game.

Feeling better than... the other. We always place ourselves in relationship to the other. Individually and collectively we compete for position. Based on our personal and national values and prejudices we rank ourselves among the rest. We slot in where we consider ourselves worthy. This changes depending on the situation, depending on the context and depending on history. Our identity lies in who we believe ourselves to be. This may be congruent with present reality or not. Many times we will bend the truth to favour ourselves.

Seen from our own perspective we will most likely feel superior to others. Even when taking a lower position in the face of overwhelming odds we’ll still find a way to see ourselves as superior to the other regardless of the evidence to the contrary.

This is a mechanism of the Ego that ensures that we stay on top. That’s why if we can’t convince others in person we’ll join a larger group that has more strength to champion our cause.

Be that politics or any other grouping that are adamant that their views are correct and right. National conditioning plays a big role in this identity of ours and within a large group of likeminded we tend to think it’s obvious that we are right and just. Placing ourselves above and beyond the rest. We see this

being played out on the world stage as well as in the schoolyard. Yet there are many factors that must be taken into consideration if we are to survive. Brute force can be overcome by cunning yet we need to be careful. The hierarchy naturally fall into place. The great game continues under the guise of homeland security and international stability.

Recognise this move within yourself. It’s fascinating to begin to discover the trends that steer the world within your own psyche. Then we can begin to understand why politics and power works the way it does. The urge to win.

The End Game.

In the end there’s no way out. Everything is leading up to it.

Sooner or later you’ll have to give in. You’ll try to drag it out, stalling for time. You reason and make excuses. Pleading this and pleading that. Perfectly understandable objections but surrender has no proviso. You can’t bargain with death. Go easy on me you say, killing me softly please. Why does this matter? Because if you hold on even the tiniest bit, there won’t be a release. There won’t be the watershed that comes from complete submission. “Whosoever seeks to save his live will lose it, and whosoever loses his life for my sake will find it.“

Subject.

Why have much of the Western world lost touch with the notion of submission? Why is surrender unacceptable? Why can’t you just give in? Give up your strongholds. What is it in you that resists? Why is ‘No’ the first response to any pressure? Is it the will to live, or the fear of death? Fear of not knowing? Fear of losing control. My pride had been a cover up for tremendous fear. I had held myself to be someone, a mask of pretence

shielding me from relationships. Laid bare I lost control. Even in little things we resist giving up. Emotionally and psychologically the demand is an all or nothing affair. It feels overwhelming and it will create existential doubt on the spot, throwing you into turmoil emotionally. Why is it so black and white? Why so uncompromising? Because if you allow even the tiniest notion of who you are to remain that is what will stay in control. You will hang on by the skin of your teeth and eventually that will regain its strength and assert authority yet again. It’s not personal. It’s an universal dictum. Sooner or later you’ll have to face it. And that moment will always be the same. There’s no leading up to it, no preparation that will get you ready. You can even sense it when you contemplate it; coming to the edge of your self. Don’t be afraid, we’re all in the same boat. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be no one, let down the guard.

If God would ask.

Once you’re willing to part with the most important thing in your life...

To give a little bit is not too hard but when you ask me for my most precious thing I hesitate. Once when I was travelling in Asia I had bought this beautiful handmade tribal embroidered shirt in Nepal. I loved it. One of a kind. I wore it with pride and people commented on it saying how nice it was. I’d met these two sisters from Australia, one of whom really liked my shirt and asked if I’d give it to her. I couldn’t say yes, I would not give it away. We parted company and I continued my travels through Southeast Asia just to run into my friends again in Indonesia a few months later. Not before long she asked again if I wouldn’t mind giving her my shirt. I was in a conundrum. I knew that if I gave it away I wouldn’t be able to find one like it again but at the same time I thought about the spiritual dictum of surrendering your possessions, your life and even your will

for a higher cause. I believed in these premises and wondered if I’m not even able to part with the shirt on my back how would I be able to part with anything else of greater importance when it mattered? I felt the psychological pressure and questioned its importance to me. I relented and took the shirt off, handed it to her and walked home in the rain shirtless. I then realised that unless you’re willing to part with most precious thing you own, you won’t be able to give up anything.

It’s an all or nothing deal. A psychological barrier that needs to be overcome. Contemplate it and see what is the most important thing to you? Would you be able to surrender it willingly if asked? If God would ask you for it?

Dissemination.

The Parable of the Sower.

‘That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore.

3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

10 The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”

11 He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12 Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an

abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 13 This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

16 But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17 For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path.

20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.

22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Doubters and unbelievers.

Being in the right we classify the world into four corners; East to West and North to South. Vertical and horizontal we find our bearings to stand up right. Sure of what we see we’re blind to

all around. Doubters and unbelievers divide this world up into you and me. Never questioning their judgement we become strangers as we fall out of love. How far away we find ourselves through no effort of our own. The sword of wisdom find no reason to cut us apart yet it separates the true from the false.

Suspicious minds.

Working within the confines of emotions we’ll never taste freedom. From sunrise to sunset, beset with difficulties we spend our days struggling. From the moment you wake up you latch onto your feeling state and cement it into your experience by attaching a thought-stream to it. Judging everything based on yourself and on your own narrative. Not allowing any time to reflect, reacting to everything you encounter. Fundamentally negative you think everyone is out to get you and you’ll never experience real joy. Life becomes a painful journey where you personalise everything. Every conversation becomes a heavy demoralising story. There’s no way out. Empty rhetoric exhausts us and wastes precious time.

How would it be if the next day, when you wake up, you never enter into your head? Never give it a moments notice? Never allow yourself to have that inner dialogue? Never open your mouth to spout your opinion? Never let your thoughts rule your day? Never engage others with their confusion and frustration?

Never again lend any weight whatsoever to peoples minds?

Never again taking sides just to sustain an argument. How would it be to wake up to a new day free from the past? And not to engage it ever again? It is possible. Meet me there.

The best meditation.

Seeing things as they are is enough. I do not seek nor yearn for deeper or altered states of consciousness. As bliss is inherent in my present state no need to look further afield. Zen, coming from the Sanskrit Dhyāna, means "contemplation, reflection" and "profound, abstract meditation". The root of the word is Dhi, which in the earliest layer of text of the Vedas refers to "imaginative vision”. And as an image the world appear to us.

A reflection of our own true Self in all things. As Krishna says in the Bhagavadgita 7.8-7.13:

O son of Kunti (Arjuna), I am the taste of water, the light of the sun and the moon, the syllable Om in the Vedic mantras; I am the sound in ether and ability in man.

I am the original fragrance of the earth, and I am the heat in fire. I am the life of all that lives, and I am the penances of all ascetics.

O son of Prtha, know that I am the original seed of all existences, the intelligence of the intelligent, and the prowess of all powerful men.

I am the strength of the strong, devoid of passion and desire. I am sex life which is not contrary to Dharma, O Lord of the Bharatas.

All states of being—be they of goodness, passion or ignorance —are manifested by My energy. I am, in one sense, everything —but I am independant. I am not under the modes of this material nature.

Deluded by the three modes (goodness, passion and ignorance), the whole world does not know Me who am above the modes and inexhaustible and eternal.

So seeing things as they are is this. Seeing and understanding becomes one event. Your event.

Educate, don’t speculate.

When do we do disservice to the cause we champion? Isn’t it when we begin to discuss what others do? As opposed to what we do? Maybe it’s easier to speculate than to educate? It takes learning to be a skilled educator. It takes no learning to speculate. To learn takes effort, work and diligence. To speculate is to avoid education. Think it over, then keep or discard as you see fit. Store up lessons for future use. Maybe we don’t understand now but let’s not be presumptuous. Just because we don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Step by step we might learn a thing or two.

Make Conscious.

To be made aware of, to become conscious of, to wake up to.

These phrases, in spiritual terminology refers to the moment we see and understand our experience, inner and outer. It is critical that we are able to recognise how we perceive our own consciousness and of our use thereof. If we can’t see clearly we will oscillate between ego identity and selfless activity. We need to distinguish when we stray into the personal space as opposed to a general non-egoic frame of mind. We need to be able to isolate the ‘I’, the ‘me’ and ‘mine’ in order to be free from self-referring. Becoming conscious of our habit to always relate back to ourselves. Spiritual dialogue has that purpose, to highlight our preoccupation with self. Once we become conscious of this movement of our mind we will be able to drop it and continue a normal dialogue without going into the personal domain. This will enable us to share an objective space and keep an impersonal context with others. More so, we will be able to observe, investigate and explore a shared emerging perspective amongst many. We will be able to see Truth objectively together, and therefore knowing and seeing

becomes one event. Truth suddenly is not a personal private matter any more, but a Self-evident experience of many.

Going back and forth.

There’s an unconscious movement where you always return to your ego identity when in doubt. When questioned you instantly fall back on who you think you are, to where you hold yourself to be. Even if carefree and open when things are easy once pressured we return to our old self. Only the brave dare to remain in a state of not knowing, dare to be no one. We must see this going back and forth as a true indicator of where our true alliance lie; with the very small part of who we are, a limited and partial picture of what we can be. It also reveal that we haven’t gone far enough, haven’t cut our ties with our historical self. We are still bound by time and space, caught in a never ending cycle of reaching for freedom yet always returning to self. The personal self can taste the bliss of spiritual freedom but can’t cast itself off and therefore always come back to where the identity lies. There will be a point where the umbilical cord is cut, where you throw down your past, never to return. This is the greatest sacrifice you can ever do. To leave your identity in your historical self and be comfortable in being no one yet the only one and every one at the same time. To find your true self and be happy never to compromise that with anyone. To cross the river and never look back. To get off the boat once on the other side. Finally free you never separate nor differentiate yourself to another. You see their lives as your own, you live and let live, hold no grudges and bear no resentments. Love becomes the undercurrent to all things. Animals return to their den and so do humans. We return to our own sense of safety. Thinking that’s all we got yet by that very return we separate and isolate ourselves from all others. Maybe that’s how most like to live,

going back and forth, enjoying partial success. Yet if we could but see the liberation inherent in a fully surrendered life we would maybe make the extra effort to leave everything behind?

Being with someone no longer becomes an ordeal where we muster up our strength to be nice, but now is a natural unfolding in communication where we never change our fundamental being. Nothing sticks and nothing changes, we remain as one.

A Warning along the Way.

You can’t really be truly independent if you’re not able to give up your life. And yet, unless you are able to be independent, free from all dependencies, and willing to stand alone, you shouldn’t go all the way and give up your own life. To surrender your life does not mean that you will be taken care of. To give up your life means you’ll have to stand alone in the Truth. If you’re not ready to shoulder that responsibility by yourself you should not contemplate giving up your life for spiritual freedom.

It is very dangerous to advocate real ego death to people who have not seriously contemplated the responsibility inherent in such a sacrifice. If you’re not ready or able to live free, alone and by yourself you should not think of complete surrender.

True, it is a learning process and as such it takes time to realise all the implications inherent in full liberation, but at least you must be willing to face the consequences of your decisions and not think that it will be taken care of by itself or by someone else. The Guru will point the way and stand next to you but he or she can’t hold out a safety net for you. Once you go, if you go, you’ll have to live the same unfettered existence they live. They have no home they return to. They’ve left this world and live for the spirit alone. Can you do that? It’s not easy and it is dangerous. Yes they may seem to be doing fine but there’re no guarantees. The point is, we can’t know

beforehand what’s in store for us. Are you willing to face the possibility of loosing everything? If you’re not ready don’t do it.

Spiritual liberation is serious business. You can’t play with it.

Ego death is not a game we play for our own amusement. But if you know your life will be incomplete without it you may stay a chance. But, you must consider the implications beforehand.

It’s not an overnight decision. It can take years to come to terms with it. Don’t give up.

There’s no shadow.

Everything is seen, nothing is hidden. Just because we act out of conditioning and habitual patterns doesn’t mean it can’t be seen. Never mind the reason or origin of these conditioned behaviour, they are not profound or deep. They are the usual stuff we’re all exposed to just by being alive. We can’t help being shaped and conditioned by the environment and culture we come from. What matters is that you see it all as one big manifestation. You don’t need to know the ‘why’ behind every random act as long as you understand it’s all part of the human condition. Then you’ll see everyone living out of their own set of circumstances and you don’t ascribe any hidden agenda behind it all. Now ‘ignorance’ refers to being blind to your own innate freedom, not to your own set of circumstances. Being honest to ourselves we know what we’re up to and why. We can see why we want certain things and not others. And yes, maybe you do act out without understanding why but that’s not because of your ‘shadow’ or unconscious ‘hidden’ recesses of your consciousness but because you haven’t yet awakened to your own real Self; that which is beyond conditions. So instead of working with your shadow from an unenlightened mind, strive to wake up and realise your innate unborn true nature.

That which your are fundamentally all the time. Then you’ll see and recognise the so called ‘shadow’ as self-evident, exposed

and in your face. In your self and in everyone else. Then you can walk without a shadow as it says in the scriptures. Then all the psycho babble and new age delirium is seen for what it is; a postponement of true freedom, here and now. Taking this on in a real way does not in any way deny the power and attachment to our set of circumstances and conditioned behaviour but it gives us a completely different way of approaching it, now free from mistakenly misrepresent it from an ignorant point of view.

Inherent Potential

How do we turn potentiality into reality? We can’t rely on the future to do it as then we’re just turning a blind eye to the process of transformation. What is transformation if not potential realised? And when do we do that if not in the present moment. If not now, when? Great potential can be realised and actualised as we meet. So how we behave becomes all important. Will you be a catalyst for change or a proponent of the status quo? Will you take care of the time you’ve got or will it be wasted for someone else to see to it down the line? Being a teacher and being a student becomes all important. When we open our mouth we have a choice; either to speak the truth and act out of love, or remain ignorant of the potential inherent in this precise moment. Inherent in this moment lies the difference between actualising truth or remaining ignorant, pushing the matter into the future, postponing any possible change and actualisation of your potential. So if you’re able to see this we can’t any longer afford to be negative. We must be the change we want to see in the world. Because if not us, who? Truth becomes an urgent matter. There’s no time to lose.

Chop chop keep up!

Monks and nuns.

The robes of renunciation indicates the abandonment of all things in this world. It’s a big thing to leave this world behind.

It’s not easy to give it up. It’s a learning process. Shaving your head, surrendering your possessions, is just an early step on the your spiritual path. It should feel like a relief, like putting down a burden. Jesus said; ‘for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ This is because this world is not an easy place to live in, full of strife and suffering. Yet the spiritual path is not an escape but an entry into real life. A real life in the spirit that doesn’t rely on the need for material possessions and earthly wealth. A spiritual life that is not bound by blood nor by human boundaries. The only kinship it knows is in truth and in love; is in the Spirit. It contains everything yet is not bound by any of it.

It’s a frightening scenario for the ego. It has no place to fix its hooks, no foothold to find a rest.

A monk in Buddhism is called a Bhikkhu (Pali), where bhi means to cut (bhid) and kṣu means afflictions (kṣud = kleśa = poison). The person who has cut the afflictions is called a bhikṣu (िभक्षु Sanskrit). The ‘poisons’ are:

* Ignorance (avidya)

* False view (dṛiṣṭi)

* Attachment (raga)

* Pride/Conceit (māna)

* Anger (pratigha)

* Doubt (vicikitsa)

So the outer renunciation of the monk or nun is but the visible changes while the inner work is the ongoing contemplation of the above mentioned mental hindrances. Yet the outer manifestations are potent as they push the limits of what we’re used to. They trigger our fears of not knowing. We come face to face with existential doubt. The thought of giving up fills us with dread. That’s why it’s not simply a mental game to let go of attachments. And that’s why pilgrimage is such an undervalued endeavour. Pilgrimage is leaving behind the old for

something new and exciting, something unknown. That’s why travelling is such a valuable thing to do. The change of environment and of what is known, forces new perspectives onto you. Leaving the normal routine, forces you to wake up.

With no return ticket we face the future. That’s why the traditional wandering ascetic in India, the sadhu, was never allowed to reside more than three days in any one place. To be on the move reflects the flow of the Dharma, of Truth itself.

Never halting, never hesitating. Homeless and free.

Exciting Times.

Aikido is going through a revival. We are finding teachers that have extraordinary skill and insight into the internal tendon/ fascia connected body system and the Aiki in/yo mechanics.

We are finding cross-overs from Chinese martial traditions and related arts of Asia. The Daito-ryu roots of Aikido are being honoured and revitalised without necessarily loosing the flow and beauty of non-competitive/non-combative Aikido. The martial aspects and its tremendous power inherent in the correct usage of Hara, Chushin and Aiki, though difficult to obtain, has not gone amiss. Can we now harness these rediscovered invaluable principles without loosing the ethical ideal of O-Sensei’s spiritual vision? Without going down the route of sports-Aikido and/or combative competitive style engagement. Can we still cultivate our mind and heart as we relearn body skills long lost due to negligence and misconception? Can we face a world of competitive mixed martial arts without flinching? Without succumbing to the allure of the fame of the game? Can we retain Aikido despite the changes? Without the need to compete yet learn the lessons we sorely lack. It’s exciting times indeed if we can evolve and present our Aikido in its most beautiful way where the relationship between uke and nage flows unhindered yet

without ‘selling out’ the inherent principles of Aiki, Chushin, Hara, Maai, Kokyu and Sumikiri. A tall order indeed but why not strive now when we have the tools and teachers? Be not afraid of change but put in the work needed, for the outcome depends on us. That Aikido remains as Aikido, evolved, yet still Aikido.

The habit of negation.

Have you noticed how some people have a tendency to always oppose as a first response? Almost like a protective instinct.

‘Yes but’ or an immediate ‘No’ is the counter you receive no matter what you say. You get so used to hearing the same reply over and over again so you stop engaging. It’s not simply a negation of what you propose but it is closely followed by an inference of their own. This habit usually goes unnoticed by the perpetrator and if you dare to question his motives, you’re likely to be met by bewilderment and denial. ‘What? Me? No, that’s not true’. Followed by reason after reason till you give in and drop the whole thing, wishing you’d never brought it up in the first place. Even in spiritual circles where dialogue and open communication should be the norm, where listening and thoughtfulness should reign, this scenario plays itself out.

Express an opinion or a strand of inquiry and find yourself having to debate what the other immediately bring up. I’m just saying.

THE NOBLE EIGHTFOLD PATH

* Right (or complete) understanding (Samma ditthi)

* Right thought (Samma sankappa)

* Right speech (Samma vaca)

* Right action (Samma kammanta)

* Right livelihood (Samma ajiva)

* Right effort (Samma vayama)

* Right mindfulness (Samma sati)

* Right concentration (Samma samadhi).

So according to the Buddha there’s a way to do things as opposed to a way not to do things. This can be adhered to by different degrees depending on one’s depth of understanding.

Yet it indicates there’s a way where we see the Truth (Dharma) which implies a choice to conform to it or not. Meaning the more awake we are the more we’re able to distinguish what’s real and true. The Buddha’s Truth was the the truths of nonself, impermanence and suffering. The path leading away from, and to the ending of suffering, was the eightfold noble path.

Waking up in the spiritual sense has to do with realising the unsubstantial sense of self, the ‘I’ sense. Which we can simply call the Ego sense. To realise the depth to which we identify ourselves with our sense of self takes inquiry and insight. It takes time to see the width and extent the matrix of our Ego plays, both personally and universally. Since it’s a human ‘trait’ we can trace it back in history and rightly call it ‘original sin’.

History is steeped in ignorance so our cultures reflect this ‘shadow’ yet all religious and spiritual aspirations try to inject some sanity and truth into our society. Fortunately our laws and morals are based on universal truths. Please don’t argue the failings of human nature. We know it all too well. Rather focus on what’s right in front of us now. Our choice of how to be.

Simply put, do good, don’t do bad, and cultivate your mind and heart.

There’s really no other time to do it. Anything else is really just a waste of time and a postponement of any real contentment.

Everything is so beautiful.

If you abscond from personal responsibility you’ll make a mockery of spiritual teachings. And when does it count? Just now! Normal people smell the air of arrogance immediately and naturally stay away. Better to know nothing and join the human family and be of help when needed. There’s no such thing as standing apart. Either you’re with it or not. Everything is so beautiful so there’s no time to sulk. That’s why Jesus cared for the poor, the sick and the lonely and that’s why he was so stern with the righteous. Love is a many-splendored thing.

How spiritual freedom can reign within any set of conditions.

The secret that nothing needs to be changed, that we with our particular set of circumstances are already free, is the greatest mystery. Our set limitations and personal conditions are never any real hinderance for enacting your own free expression in relationship to self and others. That absolute liberation can be found within our fragile system is a miraculous discovery. You don’t have to learn how to be free. It will work despite our own discrepancies. Spirit finds no obstacle to be itself through whoever we are. Like water it fills any form and manifests itself perfectly in any set of circumstances. So don’t despair, we all are in the same boat together. What is a standard for one is a standard for all.

When everything dies down.

When we finally drop the bs and become normal many do not know how to proceed. Not being used to speaking sincerely and thoughtfully we instead go silent and withdraw. It’s a pity

because it’s a precious moment, much misunderstood, to nurture a genuine feeling of care in communication. Once we stop pretending and show-boating, once the need to have our say has died down can we begin again. Quietly as if treading carefully. Like when someone close has passed away, we proceed with caution and concern. Not fearfully nor timidly but out of empathy and care. Many fall silent, not knowing what to say, not used to the realness of the situation. Yet this is where true interchange can happen. Don’t shy away from it. Many don’t want to go there, in fear of exposing themselves, being vulnerable. I don’t mean sentimental but real and authentic. It takes some getting used to but once there you’d never have it any other way. It doesn’t mean we speak over the silence, but with it. We let the silence carry our words.

嬹娞

‫ץ‬娞 Shuren

‫ץ‬梇

Shūren 嬹娞, ‫ץ‬娞 or ‫ץ‬梇

There are several ways to write this word.

The first is 嬹娞. Full marks if you noticed that this is simply renshū written backwards. This version of shūren translates as: to repeatedly practise (renshū). To practise (keiko). As you can see, this form of shūren has a close relationship with the first two words.

The next form of shūren is ‫ץ‬娞. As you can see, the second kanji is the same, but the first one is different: ‫ץ‬.

The dictionary explains that ‫ ץ‬has two main parts.

The first means to bathe someone by pouring water in a long, thin stream down their back.

The other part is ୴which symbolises three – or in this case, ornament. The dictionary explains that combining the two parts creates a meaning of arranging things into a long, slender, wellproportioned formation, with no gaps, roughness or unevenness.

So ‫ ץ‬as a whole kanji means:

• To learn; to acquire knowledge; to polish/refine your mind/ spirit or deeds

• To put things in order decoratively; to arrange things in a nice shape

• To fix things; to put things right

So this version of shūren‫ץ‬娞 is translated as: to refine / improve / forge / train / discipline the spirit (kokoro) or body well.

The third form of shūren is ‫ץ‬梇. But 梇 is really just an alternative version of 娞 The left hand side replaces thread ᔭ with gold ᰂ and the whole kanji has the meaning of either forging / tempering metal; or of forging / tempering the mind/ spirit (kokoro) or body.

Shūren has a special meaning for aikidoka, as the founder of Aikido, O-Sensei named his own dojo in Iwama the Aiki Shūren Dōjō ‫ݳ‬䶲‫ץ‬娞᭲䁰

Path of Surrender.

Whether someone tells you or not doesn’t really matter. If you know it in your heart you know there’s no other way. If you need confirmation just look to scripture. Seek out the essence

of all spiritual paths and you end up with the utter surrender of self to Godhead. A bitter pill to swallow and not for the faint hearted. It’s there at the outset of our journey but usually avoided till much later. It takes time to fathom the concept, for the mind to understand it. We much rather not contemplate it as it has such devastating consequences. We pursue other lines of inquiry that helps broaden our grasp of spiritual reality.

Yet we will always return, willingly or not, to the question of surrender. We can’t really escape it if we are serious in our spiritual quest. Why? Because your own heart knows it. A spiritual guide will only point out the obvious. A Guru never force this decision on anyone. He or she will only act as a mirror to your own heart reminding you of what you know to be true anyway. But it’s up to you to question your motivation and your conscience and to proceed with caution. It’s a serious matter and can’t be treated lightly. There are many layers to surrender and though you may have given up much, it takes time to pass through each to the point of final freedom.

Freedom of what? Freedom from self. Self surrender is the giving up of your life. You’ll have to die in order to live. It’s the end of one life and the beginning of another. It’s a little like undressing, you take off one piece of clothing after another, shedding accumulated ideas and fixed notions of self. You keep going till there’s nothing left, till you stand there naked but even then it’s not enough. God wants your heart, your life and soul. That’s when it gets hard. When you have nothing left to give and yet you have to give more. Now comes the period of soul searching. Are you willing and ready to hand over your life? This is scary. But it’s too late to turn back. Face it and bravely go forward. Because you’re a warrior you won’t give up on your own heart.

‘Fous de Dieu’

“Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become ‘fools’ so that you may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness’.”

My friend called us ‘Fous De Dieu’, fools of God. We liked it, an apt name for our uncanny interest in all things spiritual. This unlikely hobby of ours didn’t make sense to our families or friends. Why this insistence on Truth? We couldn’t get enough of it and we were reminded of our teacher’s saying; ‘It’s not enough until it’s too much!’ I remember asking Swami Krishnanandaji in Rishikesh about the joyous intoxication of the Spirit, feeling drunk and high on the word of God. We were conversing about the ebb and flow of water and fire. The fire of Satsanga, the dialogue and inquiry into truth, and the water of quiet meditation, the peaceful going within. The two sides of the same coin that pretty much would fulfil all of our needs.

When we realise that nothing else in this world will truly satisfy us we have found a home in the Spirit. True peace lies in this knowledge. This is why we can’t compromise our stand. It’s an all or nothing affair. It’s the realisation that only Truth will set you free.

Conditioned Habitual Responses.

Waking up to an unconditional state of being, to a freedom of the spirit, having an insight, an enlightenment revelation into the true nature of things, seeing your real self, a satori or kensho experience, realising that your true being is neither limited by time nor space, you are suddenly aware of a natural freedom intrinsic in your very self here and now. You come to realise you've always been free and you'll always will be free.

This is your inherent state of being, unadorned and unconditioned. This free self responds naturally to all things around. Opening your eyes to this unborn buddha-nature you see Truth Absolute and suddenly you recognise truth from falsehood, seeing things as they really are. You become aware of your own conditioned behaviour, your own accumulated karma and personal identifications. You realise that much of your way of interacting stems from years of ingrained habitual responses, instinctual reactions and fear and lust driven motivations. You come to realise that this stands in stark contrast to the pristine beauty of your absolute nature that you've just discovered.

At this point some people ignore or disregard their accumulated stored-up personal baggage, preferring to lay all their attention to their inherently unblemished self, scoffing at anyone pointing out their unchanged automated habitpatterns, dismissing it as residual karma working itself out and ignoring their effects on others. This is easy to do as the ecstasy of awakening leaves you happy as you are, you've realised there are no problems and there never could be any problems. But with awakening comes also an awakening of a true conscience that can't ignore the present state of affairs and you're made aware of your nicknacks. Now this is why in Buddhism so much attention is laid on Sila (precepts) and on Sati, on mindfulness training. To make you aware and conscious of the effect your words and actions are having on the world around you. Your true conscience is based on an awakening of love for all beings and all things, not a mushy kind of sentimental notion of love but a radical lens of discrimination that cuts sharper than any sword, seeing ignorance, suffering and unsatisfactoriness for what it is and establishing a natural compassion for all beings.

Establishing Sati or mindfulness, is stabilising your own realisation of the absolute nature of all things; an undivided relationship to life and a no-thrills attitude towards your own personal expression.

Now this free self that is your natural being, that is you, still makes choices, still walks left or right, still feel the repercussions of your actions good and bad, have no problem distinguishing personal identity from absolute nature, mutually inclusive, is able to walk the razors edge between right and wrong, between opposites and duality.

Hui Neng, the sixth Buddhist patriarch in China and the father of the Ch'an and Zen linages, admonished his students that there was not going to be any arguments in his school, based on the non-dual understanding of the direct seeing into reality.

To indulge in argumentation would prove to miss the point completely.

Breaking the surface.

Dipping my hand through the still water of a pond I find relief.

Immersing myself into a world of experience. Tacitly encountering my self as my mirror image, alive yet unreal. The surface’s broken and as the rings widen, my reflection ripples gently only to give way to depth once still again. No contours, no fixed lines, a 3D kaleidoscopic scene of ever changing shapes. How I savour this normal passing of time through every breath I take, how utterly extraordinary this natural imagery is. On where can we lay its broken promises and shattered dreams?

Can we communicate without Ego?

Do you want to? Do you want to understand what this means?

When it is gross, overly displayed, most of us recognise it. But when it’s subtle and used everyday, in every communication

we have, we miss it. How is that so? Because it’s a part of us, so usual and ordinary we don’t see anything wrong with it. And everybody are using the same Ego mechanisms so we all play the game together. And that’s partly why it’s so confusing when pointed out, we don’t understand the criticism. It takes a keen eye to discern the investment we have in Ego, in self identity.

And unless you’re on a spiritual path it won’t make sense to you. But once your eyes are opened, you can’t shut them to the obvious and ugly display Ego manifests all the time. It doesn’t matter if it’s tiny and seemingly insignificant, it reveals the underlying problem. If taken seriously it forces us to face the investment we have in ourselves. It reveals our bondage, our non-freedom, our attachment to self. What does it matter, you may think? Because it stops communication to flow. It halts information to pass freely back and forth. It hinders relationships, it separates and divides. You might not detect it, but look closely and you’ll see how it establishes boundaries between us. ‘I am’, you say, and from there everything is fixed from the start. When we build a society based on Ego we fail our children and the future generation. Everything is tainted with self obsession. Even giving and sacrifice are done in the name of self. It is living in fear. That’s the real reason why it is scary to have it revealed to us. Because it’s so pervasive and all-encumbering. The scale of Ego is massive, far from being merely personal it’s an universal adversary you’ll find in every culture on this planet. It’s a human dilemma, the oldest story in the book, and therefore massively important. So if we can’t face it in ourselves, what chance is there for change? Look for it in the detail.

Same same but different.

I was thinking out aloud and asked and reiterated the question I've had for a while. If people from all walks of life wake up to their inherent natural beauty, to their immortal selfless being, where then lies the difference between them? Whether young or old, rich or poor, man or woman, our true nature and real self sees no difference in realisation itself. We all see and understand the same thing. Waking up through insight and revelation to our natural freedom we become independant human beings, now no longer needing a teacher's guiding hand nor do we need to rely on outside information or to any set dogma. Instead we now understand the inner message in all traditions. True, we all most likely need to study a lot to grasp the inner meaning of religion, but at least finally we're in a position to understand based on our own inner vision. So where then lies the difference? Anyone can wake up at any time, at any stage of their life and from thereon be free, and now the only thing that counts is how well you address your own situation. People with naturally more intelligence and maturity have greater responsibility only because they are more capable and able to do greater things. This is the underlying principle of a natural hierarchy. It's not about better or worse but each one of us being fully who we are. All absolutely equal in worth and standing yet with different qualities and different abilities. Yet we're able to see each other eye to eye without differentiation, able to meet as one and share our differences to our equal benefit. Same same but different.

The Aikido Bullet.

Everyone these days says Aikido is useless in a MMA fight.

That’s true. I never thought otherwise. When I was thirteen years old there was a school friend who was wrestling. In

Sweden in the seventies we had some world champion wrestlers and we knew of their might. My friend was small but very skilled and all of us knew not to mess with him. I had started Aikido when I was twelve but not in order to learn how to fight or compete. It was for the sheer fun of it; the interaction, the body learning and for the fascinating technical report. It was the uke/nage relationship and training method that I enjoyed. I advanced in my own speed, not needing to make a team or compete in tournaments. No coloured belts nor medals. Ok we had silly white pyjamas but actually they were quite comfortable and could withstand a rough and tumble (and I could never envisage me in wrestling leotards anyway). Being thrown was as fun as throwing and I could clap out whenever it got too painful. Yet I didn’t loose. I felt like a winner every time I returned home and with a smile to boost.

Boxing and wrestling were the only real fighting disciplines I knew of and I never had enough interest to join, though sparring with friends was always good fun. Aikido was just so much more satisfying to me. So I wasn’t challenged in the ring nor on the wrestling mat and yes I’m probably worse for it, but hey, that was never my philosophy anyway. I always figured that a real fight is REAL. No rules and anything goes. Ugly, brutal and violent where survival is more important than life. We made sure our friends were not far off. Strength in numbers was always a safety precaution, maybe better than personal skill. Sure, personal skill is fantastic yet what does it help when it escalates? From fists to knives to guns. From family to tribe, from street gangs to organised crime, from soldier to military, to nuclear war. Where do we draw the line for self protection? I remember reading O Sensei saying there are no rules in Aikido.

There is nothing that cannot be utilised. A boy can kill a man without any skill. Aikido was never created to fight in the octagon and so we don’t fool ourselves thinking we are warriors. Yet we know enough to enjoy our training daily.

Aether

Are you a rock in the river where the water has to flow around and over? Are you a snag where other debris is caught up in?

Are you standing still in the current? We face this scenario in Aikido as well as in normal life. How often do we get caught, hindered or delayed in our flow? Do you interrupt and argue as a matter of course. The natural elements don’t follow such human behaviour. They remain true to their nature and transform when circumstances change. Beyond this world, emptiness, aether and space can’t really be grasped let alone confined, and time itself being even more evanescent. Since time is of the essence we can learn from its nonstop flow how nothing stands in its way. There’s an old Samurai saying that your action has to be as swift as the sun as you open the blinds, yet O Sensei modified this to say that your action already has to be all-pervading even before the opening of the curtain doors. “Always keep your mind as bright and clear as the vast sky, the great ocean, and the highest peak, empty of all thoughts. Always keep your body filled with light and heat.

Fill yourself with the power of wisdom and enlightenment.” This is not a static universe, space itself changes unceasingly. The universe we experience today is not the universe we’ll experience tomorrow. Time rules, and as such we can follow suit. The void follows like the backdraft on a boat the expansion of the universe. Emptiness fills the void left in the wake. Time doesn’t even look back and emptiness doesn’t wait for anyone. Emptiness will not justify itself. It moves on. It is like a current that moves across anything that is standing still.

No blame. It’s a force that doesn’t acknowledge any arguments. Blessed is he who lets go. If he succeeds his life will be a river.’

I spent a year digesting and contemplating the teachings. My head felt like full of pennies that slowly kept dropping in one by one into my heart, making me understand different aspects to the truth. I was eager to meet Andrew again to speak to him

about everything I had understood. Before I could meet him privately he asked me to speak with him in the teachings in the evening. That was daunting as I was nervous to speak in public about these very personal thoughts. There was a text; ‘Be like a strong tree that cannot be moved’, in his book ‘Enlightenment is a Secret’ that spoke to me intimately so I started our conversation by reading that out aloud. That turned into this beautiful dialogue between us and at one point something else took over. A tunnel of light was created between us and our words flowed effortlessly back and forth. I was stunned as I watched and heard myself speak this clear language using words I didn't even know I knew, declaring the choicelessness of this choice of freedom. My passion was released. The naturalness and ease which we communicated with was effortless and without any premeditated thought.

Truth is a shared conversation, a passionate release of the floodgates. Either join it or be left behind.

Racism

We accuse each other of it. It’s ridiculous how we compartmentalise and assign it according to party lines. If we are RACIST, which WE ALL ARE, then it is across the board.

You can’t select one race or one specific target to aim your resentment at. You are racist full stop. You resent differences, you dislike diversity, you fear what you don’t understand, you envy what you don’t have, you blame others for your own inconvenience. Some try to pretend to be above human nature and say, ‘oh me? No not me’. Realise that fear and ignorance, anger and pride are universal human attributes which WE ALL SHARE. You’ll find it in every culture, in every society, throughout history. We are not exempt. Yes we are trying to rise above it and we will find genuine individuals that seem to live above it. But never assume it’s not in you because it is. Look a

littler deeper and you’ll find a monster ready to reek havoc.

This is part of our inheritance, part of the Ego make up, part of thousands of years of conditioning. Be careful because though it might not be obvious but in order for us to fully abandon and supersede our RACISM we need to acknowledge and come to terms with our own inherent biases. Don’t turn a blind eye to yourself and only point a finger at others. Yes of course, there are blatant and frightful expressions of it and violent crimes committed in its name and that we must fight relentlessly. Yet never loose sight of the human nature in ourselves in order to understand where it all comes from. No one is off the hook. We can all hang our heads in shame.

No Colour.

From where you once came there is no colour difference. There is not even a gender difference or for that matter no age difference. From where we all come from, and I don’t mean way back in history but right here and now. Look inside and you’ll find no attributes of either form, shape or age to fix your identity to. You won’t be able to pinpoint exactly what you are.

Your sense of self is devoid of race, nationality, gender and age. You’re even limitless and formless. There is no Jew or Arab, no Christian nor Muslim, no black or white, no man or woman. There’s only you and me. And what you are, I am. To be free you can’t take sides. To be free you have to disregard what you are and see yourself in every other living being. See yourself in every living thing. See yourself as the very earth, water, wind and elements that make up this world. See yourself as this very universe evolving every day. See yourself as the very Self that looks into this existence from beyond time and space.

Where does it all lead?

Conflict resolution in the octagon. Martial arts turned professional blood sport for the masses, reeling in the dollars.

Gladiators, slaves in the hands of the rich, used exclusively for entertainment and profit, live by the sword and die by the sword. It’s not that the Saints are better people, don’t get me wrong. I believe firmly we’re all made up of the same stuff.

What you experience, I too experience. Ok so you have a deeper knowledge of this or that, but that does not exclude me from the human experience. With its inside and outside, with its depths and its shallows. We all experience fear, heartache, frustration, we all experience joy, love and gratitude. We suffer the same make up, albeit with slight variations on the same theme. Heaven and Hell runs through our Being, from the darkest to the most bright. Where do you differ from me? Now where do you want to live? What’s your habitat? Who do you want to be? If our change, transformation and evolution ideally happens from a lesser place to a rather greater place, from bad to less bad, from good to better, from gross to subtle, from insensitive to sensitive, from ignorance to wisdom, our martial art will have to follow suit. From violence to less violence, regardless of how you define it. We all slot in somewhere along the developmental path yet all hopefully move in the same direction, faster or slower as it may be but nevertheless improve as we grow older. Not a guarantee but probably something we all can agree to if we take a moment to reflect.

With this in mind we can understand Aikido’s evolution beyond a narrow definition of it. But with its evolution it does not mean the tradition is lost, two ends of an ever widening time gap.

Keeping the history alive and well researched keeps our modern art honest and informed. Men and women from both sides of the spectrum will highlight its advantages, Aikido being too broad to be confined by a singular narrative. Yet whichever story we follow there has to be development and evolution.

Starting with, and ending with, the individual. O Sensei showed

in his way the method to reconcile differences, to pacify aggression, and to heal division. Surely because he felt these intimately in himself. Just like we can feel these human dilemmas in our souls. A step is a step is a step, in the right direction call it spiritual or not. O Sensei spoke of three dimensions; “the Manifest, Hidden and Divine as the general map of the nature of the art. These terms correlated with the words Techniques (Manifest), Principles (Hidden) and Perspectives (Divine)” (quoted from Patrick Cassidy Sensei).

We will, whether we like it or not move in this direction when we begin to investigate our selves and our lives. There are some fundamental truth lessons to be learned along the way that will eventually throw light upon the teachings and enhance and inform your own relationship to Aikido and to life itself.

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.”

If we don’t acknowledge the conditioned personality, the impersonal imprint of cultural and societal prejudices and biases, we will fail to recognise its impact on us as individuals.

I’m more interested in how this cultural appropriation colours me than the how the KKK came to be. If I can understand myself and the context where I’m from I’ll be in a much better place to deal with racism in myself and in others. At times we come to see our own national traits after spending long periods abroad among other cultures. Upon returning to our country our own ways stand out like a sore thumb. Suddenly we’re made aware of our particular idiosyncrasies. This is a wake up call. We realise that the whole self is a made-up conditioned being. With this realisation comes the possibility of freedom. If we see it clearly we have the means to steer free from it. Or at the very least, we have the power of hindsight and will be able to amend our mistakes. This becomes an art in itself, to be

more aware of ever more subtle tendencies that influence and affect our behaviour. By seeing different cultures and how they’ve been shaped through time and circumstance we’ll find our own particular national make-up. We can begin to smile at our habitual patterns and start to enjoy our differences, knowing we’re all coloured in one way or another. It becomes a source of tremendous wealth to understand the world and human beings (and ducks).

Split Personality.

Like when you take off a face mask that has dried to your contours. It separates from your original face leaving you free from the mask created in your image. Like stepping away from yourself, looking back at your form in amazement. Soul split from body with a mirror perfect likeness. Time stands still for a moment as you catch your breath. Finding your true self separated from your time bound image. Now you re-enter your body and take up residency. Suddenly aware of every nuance of personality, of every latent wish and buried desire. Not blind anymore to its reasons and purposes. Awake to a full realm of contradictions and in-learnt behaviourism. Yet so tender inside that you now so willingly move towards a more loving relationship to all things. It is not difficult. You’ve been given stewardship of your own split personality. What an honour.

Silence is Silver, Speech is Gold.

Some spiritual people advocate silence as the highest good.

That high plain of Heaven where nothing stirs. Only a wind moves silently across the expanse. I’ve been there, in its majestic beauty of nothingness, endless and vast. If you’ve

visited the Tibetan plateau you know what I mean. Plenty of room to think, time disappears. Frozen at night the stars appear, the Milky Way lead us home. This natural meditation is seeing without eyes, hearing without ears and thinking without mind.

At daybreak, waking up in the high valleys of the Himalayas, we share breakfast on the rooftop. Tsampa and tea laced with butter. The morning sun glistening off the snow on the surrounding peaks. Still the silence have a hold on us. Quietly as if treading carefully this is where true speech happen. It doesn’t mean we speak over the silence, but with it. We let the silence carry our words. Then our words are filled with an inner quietude that carries with it its power. This is where everything begins, at the first word you utter. As it is written:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

When the Absolute comes into Being, Heaven breaks in here and now. That’s where I want to be.

No time for skepticism.

I only have limited time. I can’t do with spending it on skepticism and cynicism. I can’t really afford arguing this point.

You’ll miss the bus if you do. Time waits for no man. Freedom is such precious commodity and rare to come across so when we happen to come upon it, waste no time to catch it. The flow of Truth is expressed through the ages through different cultures and religions. The unfettered and immovable Mind that rests on no thing whatsoever; the Buddha’s realisation of the immaculate vision of the Dharma. And since the Dharma is not

a thing it is often described as a flow and as a river. A river of time stretching forward since the very beginning. “See! I make all things new!” does the Bible describe it. But not only new as in more of the same but as something greater, like when He turns water into wine. Using metaphors to describe your own inner movement can help to understand your own event.

Finding this current is to become part of the flow of life itself, within and without. Then there’s no stopping and no looking back.

Spiritual Work

Is a special discipline. Once you get over your self you can put the effort into creating something new with others, whether that be in a band, a dance or performance group, or simply in a discussion forum in order to come together. Traditionally we’ve joined prayer groups, satsanga and other spiritual and religious communal events in order to find communion in spirit, to realise something that is larger than the individual. The group, the congregation or the cult was always a means to an end.

Music and performance arts have that ability to share something larger to a wider audience and to create a unified field of experience that we all can tap in to. Imagine sitting at the feet of a Guru and him or her blessing you with darshan; with religious experience and spiritual ecstasy, why then keep it all to yourself when you can share it with those around? The rain fall on us all alike as they say. So once we abandon the neurotic obsession with self we extend our awareness to those around just as we let go at a rock concert and join the dancing of thousands, hands in the air. But instead of letting it become a one-off or a series of highs at certain events, we can cultivate this unity feeling and group consciousness among likeminded friends. It doesn’t matter much in what format you choose to congregate in as long as everyone’s focus is on coming

together as one. Music can do it and that’s why through the centuries it has been one of the greatest means in religious settings to create a sense of harmony and devotion. Rock ‘n’ roll have that power to unite large crowds. Yet without understanding the underlying principles of communal awakening it’s often lost on the individual and will only remain as a pleasant euphoric memory. Spiritual work consists of educating ourselves in the criteria necessary for teaching higher states of consciousness. States of Being that involves more than one person. “When two or three meet in my name I’ll be there amongst you” is the clue Jesus gives. For this to take off, all participants must be dedicated and want to take this on in a group setting. It’s not something you can do by yourself.

When you’re ready, abandon your ego selfish dreams and join a real situation with others. It’s not a game so do take it seriously. Whether you play or pray, do it with the conscious understanding that you’re actually trying to unite all those that are there with you. This intent will affect those around and the more aware we all are the greater the chance to achieve something will be there. Mass effect on the grandest scale is for us to wake up together to a fully realised state of Oneness, where our words and thoughts run as pearls on a string.

Harmony in musical terms refers to this ecstatic blending of many. It’s a learning process and Ego will be there as part of the learning curve. In order for our minds to come to terms with this altered consciousness we need to dare to be free, dare to give up our ideas and opinions. Already knowing is a major obstacle to unity. If you already have your mind made up, you can’t really take in a new perspective that implicitly involves everyone present. That’s the challenge, to give up our own point of view in favour of a communal seeing. Spiritual work beyond the individual is what counts. Bringing people together in this era of division is of vital importance. Forget about politics. Focus on something much more fundamental. The Self Realisation of Spirit together with others.

War and Peace

How do you impress on people that the inner work is war and peace? That already knowing doesn’t cut it? Too often, too many times we assume we know. It’s the complete show stopper. From there there’s nowhere to go. This is one of the greatest fallacies in the spiritual world; how our experiences cement an already knowing attitude. This becomes our battle ground. This is where we need to impress if there is ever going to be any progress. Ignorant knowing, intellectual knowing or spiritual knowing, it doesn’t matter what the source of our knowing is, as long as it remain as our bastion of self-identity it will hinder any further inquiry into the science of Self transformation. And to be sure, we must be able to let go of this self-knowing in order to truly meet with others, whether it be in a spiritual context (where it’s absolutely essential) or in a normal daily situation. This unfabricated truth remain one of the hardest things to convey. For individuals with a strong self sense this is a hard one to contemplate, especially if this person consider himself in the know. There’s a beautiful story highlighting this from Japan:

“One winter when Bankei was preaching during a retreat at the Sanyu-ji in Bizen province, laity and priests from Bizen and Bitchu assembled in great numbers to hear him. At a place called Niwase, in Bitchu, there was a large temple of the Nichiren sect, whose head priest was a learned cleric deeply venerated by his congregation. By that time, Bankei’s name was already known far and wide, and his teaching inspired great respect, so the Nichiren priest’s followers all came to attend the meetings. Resenting this, the priest told them, “I’ve heard that Bankei isn’t really enlightened. If I went there, I could give him a question I know he couldn’t answer. I could stop him with a single word.”

So saying he showed up at one of the meetings. Standing at the rear of the assembly, in the middle of Bankei’s talk he said in a loud voice, “The people here all listen to your talk and

believe what you tell them. But someone like myself could never be expected to agree with the essential idea of your teaching. How can you save me when I don’t accept your teaching?”

Bankei raised up his fan and said, “Would you move forward here a little?”

The priest moved forward.

“Please come forward a bit more,” said Bankei.

The priest advanced again.

“Look how well you accept it!” said Bankei.

The priest withdrew stupidly without saying another word.”

For the sake of the whole.

What happens when you commit to something larger than yourself? When the cause you champion is more important than even your own life? You become selfless. You work not for yourself but for an ideal higher. Whether that be in a group setting; family, tribe, nation, team, Faith or in a greater idea, you’ll find that own personal needs become less important. If you adopt an attitude very much like the Mahayana bodhisattva vow of saving everyone else before yourself you’ll find an enormous freedom simply in that creed alone. Why? Because you’ve set your aspirations beyond yourself and by doing so you bypass your personal ego. It’s very liberating and becomes the very ground you base your whole spiritual life upon. Never satisfied to have solved the riddle of life you won’t stop since your care is for everyone else and not you. This will make you naturally humble and it’ll keep your mind open for ever new revelations. A beginners mind even for the most accomplished. There is nothing to defend nor nothing to justify.

Just do the right thing. Just as long as we don’t take this exquisite Sunyata, or nothingness, to be nothing. Our motivation and intention is what seals our Faith in a living

ongoing revelation that never dries up. For the sake of the whole will be your medicine in times of need and your food for your daily sustenance. It forces a larger view upon you and in it you’ll see that all things, past present and future fits within.

Ecstasy Bliss

Nothing stirs, just a normal day. Spending time with myself, nothing special, walking the dog, chillin’ with feet up and ecstatic inside. Like a silent continuous eruption going on. I put on some music to give it some nuance. It burns the house down. I sit in the car enjoying the beauty of this land, so happy inside can’t really describe it. My eyes sees you but you can’t tell I’m falling apart inside. Falling down like a building collapsing. A never ending implosion that feels so good. Light and joy simmers somewhere beneath this world and I’m swallowed up body and soul whole. People are so beautiful and love is everywhere.

Zen and the art of Aikido.

I’m not a Zen Buddhist practitioner so I’ll only speak of it as a hint at spiritual realisation, as a state of seeing. Zen implies aesthetics, a way of viewing the natural world as beauty. Just as it is, un-impinged and not interfered with. My first teacher said to me; Aikido must be beautiful, otherwise it’s not Aikido. I loved that expression of it. I enjoy beauty in everything I see. I judge quality on its beauty displayed. If it hasn’t got any beauty I’m not interested. Doesn’t matter how skilful and proven it is, if lacking grace. This to me is a state of art; grace and beauty. Its inner being moving me to compliance. Succumbing me to its movement. Aikido’s beauty lays in its movement, it’s flow and

precision. Zen meditation may seem still but its spirit is flowing, like water and wind displayed in its art. Even when sitting still we can exercise grace and motion. I remember my first meditation retreat in Thailand, when I saw the monk sitting in the Dharma hall, it was so beautiful, so attractive, so peaceful.

A living realisation of beauty can be said to be a state of Zen. How can you not be moved by that?

Why do we practice basics?

Kihon च๜ basic, or Kotai ࢴ֛

solid body; static fixed training.

C.f. jutai, ryutai and kitai or

Kotai, ekitai, kitai: Solid body, liquid body, gaseous body; ice, water, steam.

I like to exchange the Ki च in Kihon with 䶲. Then together with Hon ๜ (like in Nihon; Japan) meaning the origin or base of Ki; from where Ki originate, issue from. So in order to identify this place of origin we must begin at absolute Zero. At a complete standstill. Fixed and rigid, hard and solid; a state that doesn’t move. In order to detect from where does movement come from, from where it arises or originates from. This is absolutely essential if we want to understand ourselves from a spiritual perspective. From nothing comes something. Where do we come from? Wherefrom and what is this spark to life, to action?

When we can see this impetus, this first attempt, to come alive, to disclose itself, we will find out who we are. We need to be held firmly so we can’t escape. Only then are we forced to go deep within to find the key to unlock the mystery. Only when you’re able to arise consciously from within a constriction will you comprehend its use. We have to go back to zero, to

surrender ourselves, in order to start again. Only then will we feel and sense the deepest part of ourselves. If we don’t, we will panic and struggle. We will resist and fight the grip. We’ll freak out. That’s why we practice basics; to learn how not to freak out, how not to panic. Methodologically and painstakingly we go through the basic exercises step by step. Learning how to relax under pressure, how to remain centred, composed and connected. Then and only then do we move into flow and continuous movement. Seated in an immovable place within wherefrom all action is derived. All motion issuing directly from the original source. Direct manifestation of our selves.

Shiva Shakti

Dissolution and manifestation. Origin and expression.

Nothingness and creativity. Emptiness and fullness. From nothing to everything. From no thing to every thing.

Intertwined, never separate, one seen and one unseen. Male and female, lovers and partners. One ground and base, the other expression and vitality. Know one to know the other.

Know them in yourself. One still, one moving. One quiescent and one roaring. Always apprehend it in its biggest possible way; see it in the creation and in the dissolution of the universe.

From where do we come from and to where do we return?

Where do we live and where do we die? What lives and what dies? Shiva Shakti never abandons us.

Zazen

Not moving. Not a twitch, not a blink. Absolute still. When you sit down, shut down your mind, close the shutters and go silent inside. Don’t make a sound, not even a tweak. Disappear from

sight. Abandon all impulse, refrain from knowing. Cascades of love will immerse you as you die to yourself. Don’t move. Go quiet. Listen, to your own silence. Turn o, shut down. Let activity come to a complete halt. Join the fabric of space.

Dissolution of self. Release.

Extraordinary Ordinary

There is an attitude that defies description. It is self evident to some, while unseen to others. It is so simple it slips under the radar. It is the invisible elephant in the room.

It is where sense and reason meet. Where the other is seen just as oneself. Feelings or understanding can't get near it. It contains multiple worlds, infinite strands, and as such acts with utmost compassion.

It is like an orphan, left without father and mother. Seen alone, all men takes pity on it, mistaking nakedness for poverty. Rumi expressed it beautifully when he said:

"The rock splits open like wings beat

air, wanting. Campfire gives in to rain,

but I can't go to sleep, or be patient.

Part of me wants to eat the stones

and hold you back when you're leaving,

till your good laughing turns bitter and wrong.

I worry I won't have someone to talk to, and breathe with.

Don't you understand I'm some kind of food for you?

I'm a place where you can work.

The bottle is corked and sitting on the table.

Someone comes in and sees me without you

and puts his hand on my head like I'm a child.

This is so difficult".

‘It is as though mother and son perished together’

Q. What does the Sword really signify?

A. It signifies the apprehension of Mind.

Q. So the Sword used to destroy the concept of a tangible Buddha is the ap-prehension of Mind. Well, then, if we are able to put an end to such concepts by this means, how is their destruction actually accomplished?

A. You must use that wisdom which comes from non-dualism to destroy your concept-forming, dualistic mentality.

Q. Assuming that the concepts of something perceptible and of Enlightenment as something to be sought can be destroyed by drawing the Sword of Non-discriminatory Wisdom, where precisely is such a sword to be found?

A. Since non-discriminatory wisdom is the destroyer both of perception and of its opposite, it must also belong to the Nonperceptible.

Q. Knowledge cannot be used to destroy knowledge, nor a sword to destroy a sword.

A. Sword does destroy sword - they destroy each other - and the no sword remains for you to grasp. Knowledge does destroy knowledge - this knowledge invalidates that knowledge - and then no knowledge remains for you to grasp. It is as though mother and son perished together.

-Huang Po

Truth Teaching.

Someone asked me if I hadn’t learned the whole set of teachings my own Guru had expounded? I looked at him a little perplexed. Didn’t he know what the Guru-disciple relationship was all about? Sure, I was fairly familiar with the teachings since by now I had lived in the community for a few years already. It had a few fundamental tenets and a holistic design of the personal and impersonal aspects of Enlightenment and of its adversary Ignorance. Pretty much a watertight system that covered all bases. A spiritual map to serve as a guide when needed. A sweet for the mind to suck on, a lifesaver for the spiritual Ego to cling to if in doubt. I find maps interesting and useful at times, but I don’t collect them nor frame them to fill vacant wall space. My relationship with my teacher was not based on his formal teachings. It had been founded on a direct insight and deep connection with him as a person. It was truly a heart to heart relationship based on the absolute Truth that had been revealed to me upon meeting him. Through the years of being with him it became a journey of discovery and one of surrender. It was an internal affair that only he and I were privy to. Never so much spoken of but nevertheless it became the main path of ‘teaching’ for me. This call to surrender unconditionally took years to comprehend. It forced me to investigate deeply what I considered to be important and it squarely faced me with very difficult decisions. But it was all part of a process to undo my little self in favour of something much much bigger. This is what true teachings do, they bring you to your knees in submission. This is the interior work of a real Guru, of a real spiritual guide. It might not need to take time but it usually does. There are so many unquestioned assumptions we hold about ourselves and about life itself, that it will take years to sort them through, with many layers attached needing discarding. So true teachings comes from within a relationship based on love. Once the heart is taken it

won’t let go until it is complete, not until it surrenders. This is True Teaching.

To Be Free.

Ananda asked Kashyapa, "The World-honored One gave you the golden robe; did he give you anything else?"

"Ananda!" cried Kashyapa.

"Yes, sir!" answered Ananda.

"Knock down the flagpole at the monastery gate," said Kashyapa.

Being free doesn’t necessarily mean you become this fluent personality that is at ease with everything. There’re plenty of carefree people out there that are very spontaneous and intuitive. Self confidence can be a false indicator for a realised human being and so therefore much more important is their humility. Spiritual freedom is not a course in miracles. It’s not a personality booster with management skills and speech improvement. To be free means to be raw, unprotected and vulnerable. Not weak and meek but real and true. Caring and loving without sentimentality. Empathy without self-pity.

Remember, spiritual realisation can become an incredible ego booster so don’t mistake confidence for selflessness. To be selfless you’d care more for others than for yourself. You’d express a love and a concern that wouldn’t separate, that wouldn’t exclude. You’d never underestimate the ego’s power to distort and to deceive so you are not fooled, not by your own nor by anyone else’s. You have no need to hold yourself in high regard. We’re all made up of the same basic stuff. But what we can’t stand is egos pretending to be other than what they are. Humility is the sign to look out for. But not false

humility, that is just pride lurking beneath the surface. Truth is strong and relentless. No one can escape its scrutiny.

When I was to sit my second meditation retreat in Vat Suan Mokkh in southern Thailand I met a lovely young man that was very elated by his deep meditations and profound experience. I ventured to ask, a little tongue in cheek, how he would cope if suddenly God would snatch it away from him; his Samadhi and insight? If suddenly all would disappear? What would we do if nothing remained? The meaning being, is our realisation based on a certain experience, on a special state of mind? Or can we remain cool and self-assured regardless of the changing circumstances? Can we be free no matter what?

Being Free

Is not about being liberal. Spiritual freedom is a radical shift in who you believe yourself to be. It’s the end of a life you knew yourself to be and a beginning of a life without allegiance to any set form or fixed identity. You no longer think in the way you used to. You can’t come from an acceptable idea of liberalism or even from a more extreme set of idea of political rebellion. Spiritual freedom is not a left-wing socialist phenomena. Spiritual freedom will have social consequences but it’s not political and social activism. We can’t take sides because everyone is in the same boat. Everything becomes a personal responsibility and all must comply. No one is exempt.

When you hold yourself to account, then automatically everyone else is measured accordingly. But it’s not about being liberal minded and being open. Albeit nothing wrong with that in itself yet it doesn’t convey the freedom Spirit impose. Spirit takes away everything. It lifts you off this planet and you’re able to see with eyes that do not conform anymore to the accepted norms of society. It’s no longer we versus them, the good versus the bad, but is now a radical lens of discrimination that

cuts to the core of the human dilemma. Homeless and Free.

Lost identity. No race, no nation and no religion. No flag and no allegiance. Stateless and homeless. Being itself no longer find identity in either name or ability. When you break with your own history you no longer belong to anything specific. You’re no longer a Jew or Arab, no longer male or female, no longer American or Swede. Only when you completely step away from everything you’ve ever been will you be able to return to the very simple person that you are. Now free from the need to defend or to justify. We do not judge mankind but we see clearly, free from any political agenda and social reform. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. Of course we care, but now from a vantage point where everything is transparent. All is seen, all history and all people. There is only one Truth.

Touchy

I shouldn’t really but can’t help myself. Wind people up. So easy sometimes. Infantile for sure but sometimes it’s needed. If they detect the sparkle in the eye they’ll live. If not, God help me. It’s far from evil intent, more a gentler way to address something. But how can I importune? Like pointing out the food left on your chin. Annoying but helpful. Reminds me of the story of The First Moccasins:

There was once a great chief of the Plains who had very tender feet. Other mighty chiefs laughed at him; little chiefs only smiled as he hobbled past; and though they did not dare to smile, the people of the tribe also enjoyed the big chief's discomfort. All of them were in the same canoe, having no horses and only bare feet, but luckily very few of them had tender feet. The unhappily medicine man who was advisor to the Chief-of-the- Tender-Feet was afraid and troubled. Each time he was called before the chief he was asked, 'What are

you going to do about it?" Forced by fear, the medicine man at last hit upon a plan. Though he knew that it was not the real answer to the chief's problem, nevertheless it was a good makeshift. The medicine man had some women of the tribe weave a long, narrow mat of reeds, and when the big chief had to go anywhere, four braves unrolled the mat in front of him so that he walked in comfort. One day, the braves were worn out from seeing that the chief's feet were not worn out. They carelessly unrolled the mat over a place where flint arrowheads had been chipped. The arrowheads had long ago taken flight, but the needle-sharp chips remained. When the big chief's tender feet were wounded by these chips, he uttered a series of whoops which made the nearby aspen tree leaves quiver so hard that they have been trembling ever since. That night the poor medicine man was given an impossible task by the angry chief: 'Cover the whole earth with mats so thick that my feet will not suer. If you fail, you will die when the moon is round.'

The frightened maker of magic crept back to his lodge. He did not wish to be put to death on the night of the full moon, but he could think of no way to avoid it. Suddenly he saw the hide of an elk which he had killed pegged to the ground, with two women busily scraping the hair from the hide, and an idea flashed into his groping mind. He sent out many hunters; many women were busy for many days; many braves with hunting knives cut, and women sewed with bone needles and rawhide sinews. On the day before the moon was round, the medicine man went to the chief and told him that he had covered as much of the earth as was possible in so short a time. When the chief looked from the door of his lodge, he saw many paths of skin stretching as far as he could see. Long strips which could be moved from place to place connected the main leather paths. Even the chief thought that this time the magic of the medicine man had solved tenderfoot transportation for all time - but this was not to be! One day, as the big chief was walking along one of his smooth, tough leather paths, he saw a pretty maiden of the tribe gliding ahead of him, walking on the hard

earth on one side of the chief's pathway. She glanced back when she heard the pitter-patter of his feet on the elkhide pathway and seemed to smile. The chief set o on the run to catch up with her, his eyes fixed on the back of She-WhoSmiled, and so his feet strayed from the narrow path and landed in a bunch of needle-sharp thorns! The girl ran for her life when she heard the hideous howls of the chief, and Indians in the distant village thought that they were being attacked by wildcats. Two suns later, when the chief was calm enough to speak again, he had his medicine man brought before him and told the unhappy man that next day, when the sun was high, he would be sent with all speed to the land of shadows. That night, the medicine man climbed to the top of a high hill in search of advice from friendly spirits on how to cover the entire earth with leather. He slept, and in a dream vision he was shown the answer to his problem. Amid vivid flashes of lightning, he tore down the steep hillside, howling louder than the big chief at times, as jagged rocks wounded his bare feet and legs. He did not stop until he was safely inside his lodge.

He worked all night and until the warriors who were to send him on the shadow trail came for him, just before noon the next day. He was surrounded by the war-club armed guards. He was clutching close to his heart something tightly rolled in a piece of deerskin. His cheerful smile surprised those who saw him pass. 'Wah, he is brave!' said the men of the tribe. 'He is very brave!' said the women of the tribe. The big chief was waiting just outside his lodge. He gave the guards swift, stern orders. Before the maker of magic could be led away, he asked leave to say a few words to the chief. 'Speak!' said the chief, sorry to lose a clever medicine man who was very good at most kinds of magic. Even the chief knew that covering the entire earth with leather was an impossible task. The medicine man quickly knelt beside the chief, unrolled the two objects which he took from his bundle and slipped one of them on each foot of the chief. The chief seemed to be wearing a pair of bear's hairless feet, instead of bare feet, and he was puzzled at

first as he looked at the elkhide handcraft of his medicine man.

'Big chief’, the medicine man exclaimed joyfully, 'I have found the way to cover the earth with leather! For you, O chief, from now on the earth will always be covered with leather’.

U-turn.

How interested are we? Up to a point? Beyond which is desperately boring and outright irritating? Spiritual investigation can bring about a U-turn once we reach the end of the paved tarmac. No interest going down the dirt road. Yet this is where it gets interesting for real. Past the point of comfort, into unknown territory. No maps? Sorry won’t go there, probably doesn’t exist anyway. The explorer spirit all too hastily withdrawn. Yet this is where the adventure starts. To explore the boundaries of spirit we need guts to leave the known behind. It’s a solo journey but we do compare notes and check in regularly. Sometimes even share a ride for a while. My way is not your way but we all need a little more courage not to dismiss what’s up ahead.

Letting go of Jesus.

What? I have a story. Back in Iwama we had a young deshi joining us for dinner. We had come together because we had a mutual interest in the spirit and wanted to chat about it. Our friend was a believing catholic Christian and we both felt at home with our Faith yet we were happy to discuss all things openly. ‘The Truth will set you free’ has always been one of my favourite sayings of Jesus. Truth? What is it? Not the one you claim privately for yourself nor the one many like to pin to their particular Faith of choice. But an absolute Truth that will be true

no matter what, span all religions and spiritual systems; an objective Truth that will be the same for all of us regardless of time, culture and persuasion. This one Truth is what I pursued and wouldn’t rest till I had found. I found my friend holding on to his relationship to Jesus as; “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” This is such a beautiful saying, filled with so much love. I think we need to look at this saying in depth in order to fully comprehend it. Many think this means only through Christianity, but that’s not how I cherish it. So just for conversation’s sake let’s take him at his word. Since He is the ‘Truth’ he must be everywhere Truth is. There can be no separation. So I proposed to my friend the notion of letting him go so we could investigate the Truth without any preset fixed idea of what that meant. It is difficult to let go of something you depend on. Especially if your life rests on it. But we argued if Jesus is Truth Absolute he would not go very far. It becomes a trust issue. If we truly believe Jesus is what he says He is, then we should be able to let go of him with the confidence that when we rediscover Truth He will be right there. So if you really trust you’ll have no problem letting go, but if you don’t have faith enough you won’t. You’ll cling to him out of fear of loosing Him. This is why spiritual inquiry is so rewarding. It lets you surrender everything and start from a clean slate. Then we can seek the Truth together knowing that the kingdom of God is near.

Context.

If the context is MacDonald’s we can’t argue that there exists no Big Mac. Many absolutists argue nothing exists yet they argue from a platform of existence. These neo-Advaita proponents often forget the context within which they find

themselves. Blanket statements may sound outrageous and profound but on closer scrutiny they don’t amount to much.

Neti neti; not this, not this! The somewhat famous Sanskrit saying describing Absolute Reality in the negative, has always been appreciated within the vast context of Hinduism. So when arguing our cause we need to remain within its context. Not to mix and match as we see fit. Advaita philosophy is a wonderful and profound teaching that rightfully deserves its place amidst any spiritual inquiry.

Awakening of Faith.

My main aim is to create a desire in you for the sacred. To awaken you to Faith. For you to find in yourself the sacred ground upon which to walk your life’s path. This awakening of your own interest, passion and awe is all you ever need to come home. I will try to tempt you to look within. To question yourself, to dare to view it anew. To soften your stare. If I can bring you to see your own curiosity, then my work will all be done and I’ll gladly leave you alone.

This fragile morning light on a cold winters day, capturing our attention gently thawing the ice crystals on the trees, melting the rim frost of the grasses. Our heart slowly awakens to Faith.

Takemusu Aiki

Aiki Shugyo Hoho: "Method of Ascetic Training in Aiki” by Morihei Ueshiba.

The reason and purpose of the move to Iwama in 1942 by O Sensei.

The Takahashi extract begins with an experience had by Ueshiba at 2 am on December 14, 1940(1942?).

"My body was full of power, versatile, free of any obstacles and innumerable waza arose as if naturally. If we were to count them, they would be in the tens of thousands. If I had a sword, I could also freely teach people this way of the sword. Why so many and so powerful waza arose was, I supposed, a mystery.

However, I also had the feeling that continuing in this fashion was not right."

"I wondered at the enormity of the experience and the doubt whether it was really true made me ill. I was sick to the verge of death for about one year. In the depths of this illness I was enlightened."

"However, being ill did not mean that I was not doing anything. From before this experience I had to serve the army and navy. On occasion I had to serve at the War Office (檕敎፜) at the request of the Office of Military Affairs (ً㵗ੴ), the (Army) Minister (य़ᛒ). Furthermore, I gave service to men of high rank (ṛ揫΀ො̸), I was called to be an adviser (氝㺔) at universities here and there, and was appointed a member of a review committee (䌁捍঩㹓) for the Konoe Cabinet up until the Tojo Cabinet. I also served as an adviser (氝㺔) at various other locations." (The second & third Konoe Cabinets lasted from 1940 until 1941, to be replaced by the Tojo Cabinet, from 1941 until the fall of Saipan in 1944).

"However, the keiko of the army & navy generally had ṱ as the nucleus. In other words, the nucleus was the material thing and the purpose was fighting on all fronts. With the slogan ‘One cut, one death' they forged ahead in search of honour. It

was regrettable, but there was something of a lack of true loyalty and there seemed to be many people in the army who could not understand. Of course, there were distinguished military people, and many loyal and brave soldiers fought to a degree that induced tears. However it is not the goal of aikido to kill people. Its purpose is not fighting and quarrelling. Aikido is not concerned with ṱ, but with ṯ."

(Both characters are read as tamashii = spirit, but a kanji dictionary explains that on death, ṯ goes to heaven, whereas ṱ goes to the earth. The translation in Aikido Journal gives body vs. spirit.)

"The object of aikido is to give praise, in this world, to the complete excellence of the Great Universal Deity, from which the entire universe has originated. It is to serve theय़᭲ (great way, or fundamental moral principle), with the responsibility of giving 䙄ᙙ (tender loving care) to the whole of creation. Put another way, aikido has the role/duty of preserving / maintaining / defending / carrying out, for all beings regardless, the manifestation of the working of the Great Universe, seen as one whole.”

"Heretofore, budo was concerned with training in physical forms, but now training in spiritual forms is more important. If you lack a mind set on love, you can never accomplish any great techniques. The stance of love is that stance of seigan [triangular posture used in the martial arts]. In Japanese budo we do not try to force an opponent to move. Budo is based on the principle of non-resistance, a principle of the spiritual world —this is nenpi kannonriki. The secret of bu is that it has no forms. The heart must be free and ki must be fully charged.

All this was imparted to me by the deity Sarutahiko on December 16, 1942(?), between 2.00 and 3.00 in the morning.

All the gods of Japan gathered and brought aiki truly into life,

fostering universal spirit and sho chiku bai swordsmanship. The double-edged sword of heaven and earth was manifest; that sword symbolises the spiritual movement that works to purge the world of filth and corruption. To accomplish this, first that terrible war had to end. I was entrusted with a tremendous task: the gods instructed me to construct a 36-mat aiki jinja in Iwama. Then the atomic bombs fell on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and the emperor called an end to the war. Since then Japan has been tied together by aiki. The true budo of the gods has been restored. Within the powerful name of Ame no murakumo kuki samuhara ryu-o all the techniques are contained. It is in your blood. As for me, I am an incarnation of Izunome no mikoto[the spirit of reformation and renewal].”

In other words, (the purpose of aikido) is to carry out the will of heaven that has been assigned to oneself. As for the having of one's own personal mission, if this is for the sake of the country, I think this is a good thing. There is nothing that comes before the execution of one's personal mission. (Alternative: There is nothing that one can do except execute one's personal mission.) However, on the occasion of this being put into words, uttered for the sake of the country or society, this is impure. If one can accomplish one's own mission, this is good.

If the execution of one's own mission becomes a ‘kami', then this is happiness/good fortune.

The goal of aikido is not invading a country and killing someone. Rather, it is to enable everyone to go forward in life, with each person having his own place, so that there may be a gathering together of a ‘one-world family', so that all may be able to work as specialised branches of the unitary operation (of the universe), leading to the ‘Great Spirit that Builds the Universe Nation'. This was the august wish of His Majesty the Meiji Emperor and it is still to be respected today.

Without ceasing we must stop violence in conformity with this prayer. Accordingly, aikido strictly forbids competitive matches.

In fact the reality is that aikido embodies the ‘attacking spirit' of Great Love; it embodies the spirit that seeks harmony and peace.

Because of this, we intertwine and tie ourselves together with the opponent in every respect with the spiritual power of our love (nenpi kannonriki: concentrate yourself on the power of Kannon: Goddess of Mercy). Because it is love, the encounter can purify the partner.

Aiki is not intended to shackle freedom. By purifying all bad spirit(s), aikido unties completely all bonds, including the bonds of fate, the bonds that derive from one's deeds, the bonds that derive from everyone's spirit. In other words, it is something that achieves and completes one's personal mission. This achieving and completing of one's personal mission is the fruition of the prayer that is married to Goi Sensei's spirit.

Until now the secret principle of my martial training was to accumulate the power to give or take away life or death by the sword. It was the arbitrary control of opponents and the creation of a roadmap for my path to brilliance and to joy.

Aikido is beyond time and space. Its history from the age of the gods in Japan is found completely in the personal mission of each and every individual. (Alternative: Within the personal mission of each and every individual is to be found, complete, its history from the age of the gods in Japan.)

In addition, at this time I acted in accordance with the demands of various bodies/organisations in the nation. At first, I was teaching ways of killing and oence and defence solely in relation to oneself, and attacking became one's principle aim.

This was mainly because the focus was the body (carnal part of the soul). This was the trend of the times and this fact (the

fact that it had this focus) also constituted a major challenge to the mass of humanity. (Alternative: This was the trend of the times and this fact [the fact that it had this focus] also had a major appeal for the mass of humanity.)

With the ending of the war, people have devoted their energies to the pursuit of peace. The peaceful use of nuclear power came to be accepted and Aikido also came to "flourish" at the demands of government bodies. To which I continuously gave explanations about love. These were recorded in my notebook and this also fell into the hands of many others, who probably investigated the matter. So, I laughed, with the words, "From now the striving of love has arisen."

If we go back to the war, the Great Pacific War was becoming progressively more severe and Japan seemed likely to lose.

The deities gave me a divine command, in order to make me stop this war.

I would like to take this opportunity of explaining more detail.

The command was, "Everyone in the human brotherhood of the world is suering. Young people are dying one after another. There is only one way to stop the war. Up till today not all karma of cause & eect in Japan have been managed properly. For this to happen we (the deities) give you divine power. Thus you yourself have to work to stop the war." In fact, I didn't believe that I could not perform such a great task.

Since I had also heard from the deity that there was a danger of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, I knew (this) before it happened. However, I thought there was no way of telling everybody about such an event. I thought I would play my role in silence, so that I could protect myself.

The deity Saru-ta-hi-ko-o-kami appeared and spoke to me.

"Without delay build a shrine and dojo for Takemusu Aiki (a 36mat sacred dojo)." In accordance with the instruction I built (the shrine and dojo) on land to which I (had) retreated in the town of Iwama, Ibaragi Prefecture, where I had just a small house.

I could not speak to people who (because they) could not see with these eyes (sc. the things that I saw). Even now I still have the same attitude (about not speaking to people about this).

The fact is that Saru-ta-hi-ko-o-kami had required me to build (the shrine). On this occasion Saru-ta-hi-ko-o-kami instructed me, ‘The command I have given you is the command I received from the Great Deity of Ise.’

I have kept this secret deep in my heart and never told anybody. I thought I should do it simply because I had been told to do so by the deity. The deity told me that if I did it, then the war would stop. Thus, I kept silent and built (the dojo). This having been done, the Great Pacific War came to an end.

From then onwards my ascetic training began.

During the night, at around 2 o'clock, I had gone down to the garden and was standing holding a sword. Then something mysterious happened. Another person suddenly appeared, a ghostly body/being (in fact, it was another version of myself).

The being was white and had a sword. It faced me. In this way, training with the sword began.

Then, with a kiai shout I tried to strike. In that instant my partner suddenly entered. My partner's sword was suddenly right at my chest. I could not show the slightest lack of vigilance. In the beginning my own movements were slow, but as the training progressed, in the instant that my partner with the ghostly body entered, I cut his wooden sword downwards.

As soon as I did this, my partner disappeared.

This continued for about three days, but as it continued and I stared fixedly at my partner (kept control of the partner), the sword disappeared.

At this time, there was no shape of myself that I had seen before. However, there was the appearance of a light—which I thought was a ghostly body. Around me there were many clouds of light. But I was conscious of myself at the time. I had the feeling of holding a wooden sword, but there was no sword. There was simply one breath. This continued for two weeks. On some later days when I resumed training there was no wooden sword, no self, no clouds of light, but I felt that what remained was myself filling the entire universe. At that time there was no hint of white light, and by means of my breath, all the poles of the universe were controlled and the universe had entered my heart.

Wrongly Assuming Understanding.

All healing, all prayers, all therapy, and all methods for self improvement will fall short of being conclusive if not the underlying identification with the personal sense of self is questioned. It doesn’t matter how many times we’ve experienced altered states of consciousness, nor how many times our body has been made to relax beyond the normal, we will still not accomplish anything passed a momentary relief. It is essential that we seek more than a feeling based experience.

The new age focus on a divine personality doesn’t really solve our inner doubts. It doesn’t matter how grand you dress up the Ego, it’s still just your own self. We must go beyond the spiritual gratification-need many are parading as genuine truth seeking. It won’t harm them, you say. Yes but it will postpone the inevitable; the real task of finding who you are, beyond

feeling and thought. It’ll just keep up appearances and prolong ignorance and suffering. There’s a Buddhist story representing this dilemma:

The Parable of the Burning House

from the Lotus Sutra

Mudra

A sign, that’s all I need. A look, a wink, a silent acknowledgment. I love you. Why should it be so hard? It’s not that difficult. Your hand gestures are so beautiful and you don’t even know. I sat next to you when the old man visited and he poured out his heart to you. He praised your commitment and sincerity. I looked at him astonished. His face revealed a life lived full. I envied him. So beautiful his every line in his face told me so much. Yet here he spoke of pain and regrets. He looked at my shaved head and smiled and my heart longed for his maturity. How rare to come for the Dharma alone. The clouds came rolling down the river valley, spreading up the sides of the mountain like wings. I was in awe, couldn’t believe my luck.

Ecstasy by yourself how can you describe it? Just give me a sign. Like this!

River Source.

I went upriver to stay with an elderly woman known for her wisdom. Into the heart of the mountain I found her teaching giggling schoolgirls. Unsure of myself I reassured her of my commitment but when left alone I was at loss. Too young to understand of how to be I neglected my obligation and tiredness and sleep overcame me. As I woke up in the morning

with the sound of the river outside and the woman pottering in the kitchen I prepared to leave swiftly. Not sure why or how but I was happy walking the winding road that took me back toward civilisation. The melting snow, the sun through the pines and the river next to me followed. Too early in the spring to travel to the source the roads were quiet. Some Sadhus living next to the river their smiles said it all. Winter was the insurer of seclusion and silence. Now the sun warmed their bare skin and their pelts were drying on the bank. Strong eyes challenging me, an uninvited stranger in Gods holy realm. This was Garhwal, the abode of the gods, the river valley of the Ganga whose source beyond Gangotri at the mouth of the glacier still lay inaccessible by deep snow. I had come to spend three months a little further down the valley. For my Tapas it was said.

Hiking into the foothills of the Himalayas I strode in through a small gate leading to a small clearing by the Ganges river, a small Ashram consisting of only a few huts for solitary contemplation, prayer and meditation run by a British woman sadhu named Nani Ma. I walked into an atmosphere of heightened spiritual tension. There was a palpable sense of love and deep laying wisdom surrounding the place. We were expected and Nani Ma sat us down on a patch of grass next to the river and asked us our intention for our stay in the ashram.

By this time my inner world was churning up, something was taken place that was beyond my comprehension but I loved it.

The inner tension kept constant and our dialogue was almost as a quiet background to it. We were allowed to stay and we were shown our individual huts where we would live.

The next three months was just wonderful. Nestled among the peaks at about 10.000 feet altitude, the river running rapidly through narrow gorges, clean and drinkable, cool and refreshing for early morning baths, beautiful with green glacial waters. Here I read the Bible, meditated and chanted together with Nani Ma and just had time to think.

One morning I found myself naturally falling into a spontaneous contemplation. Sitting outside my little hut enjoying the morning sun a softness fell over me and my thoughts flowed effortlessly into patterns. Gently it became clear, ‘I have sole responsibility for the well-being of every single person and I have sole responsibility for the welfare of the whole planet’.

Suddenly I dissolved, me as a historic person vanished and instead I was filled with glorious white light. I regained my body and I regained my voice, my real body, and my real voice. I started to praise all things, my voice no longer impeded but full and unobstructed. White light was everywhere. Now I saw what Jesus meant with "me and my father are one" and "but my father is bigger than me". This was resurrection into a glorified body. This was Holy and this was only by Gods Mercy. The ground I sat on became my closest ally, so close like my pillow, like my bed. The whole Earth supported me and bore witness to what was happening.

Afterwards I walked down to have my morning coffee, the rain gently beginning to fall as the clouds gathered in the upper valley. As they rolled down they formed an angel by the shape of the valley, its wings spreading wide up the mountain side.

Spiritual dilemma.

We so often hear and encounter conflicting arguments within spiritual and religious circles. Each denouncing each other.

Each with an argument to prove their point. I find it exhausting.

This phenomenon is not exclusive to the spiritual scene but can be found everywhere where opposing viewpoints exists. In short, this is what the Buddha Dharma calls Samsara; the wheel of suffering, the possibly endless back and forth of contradictory arguments. There are usually two different ways people handle this. A vast majority takes a strong stand in one view, anchor themselves in a fixed opinion or knowledge and

remain firm stalwarts of its advantages. Others remain undecided, opting not to have a specific take on things even though when pressed they usually do harbour certain ideas albeit not conclusive. Neither side of these groups of people have any real interest to challenge their own firmly held convictions. In one way they are lazy. They won’t entertain a second opinion or contradictory arguments because their worldview is already in place. It’s a safe place to be. They are certain they’re right and they have every argument in the book to back it up. Others couldn’t care less and by that doesn’t even engage. Feeling above it they pretend to hold the high moral ground but fail to see their own inability to have a larger inclusive view where the different sides of the arguments can be seen. I see this inability to entertain a larger perspective as the biggest obstacle to real understanding and it becomes the divider that will set one against the other in an unsolvable fixed position. Each side self assured of their claim to the right, whether you’re for, against or neither.

Very few are interested in expanding their already firm convictions. They are set in place after years of deducting for themselves what matters. This leaves them helpless to take in new information, to accommodate a different viewpoint or larger perspective. Yet that’s exactly what we all must do in the moment we engage with another for there to be any chance of seeing eye to eye. Of course, most have no problem agreeing with others holding the same opinion as yourself but that’s not what I’m referring to. Nor am I interested in people presenting their ideas and then respectfully disagree with each other. That is just holding firm to what you know and not budging at all but presenting yourself as very magnanimous and fair by allowing others their view. But that doesn’t really change anything and others will have their view regardless of your acceptance. It just comes across as a little aggressive because it doesn’t allow for a meeting of hearts. It’s just a polite way of entrenching ones views. There’s no point pointing a finger at others fixed strongholds. If we endeavour to meet beyond our own set

agenda we need to have a larger, more informed and open approach. The Truth is one and we can extract it from all situations. Everything can be seen in the light of Truth and nothing is beyond its reach. So all of our opinions can be resolved in the light of Truth if we are willing to question ourselves and our ideas.

In Aikido if you want to teach, fix or help your partner/uke you can’t simply tell them off, or how wrong they are, but you follow them perfectly and by that their flaws will appear naturally. We can’t just show them a correct technique and hope they get it.

You have to be hands on and have them feel it. There’s no point arguing about different approaches and remain detached if you want to learn something new. The same applies in dialogue. To move someone we first have to get on the same page. If they only speak one language you’ll have learn it if you want to make yourself understood. Naturally we must recognise authority and learn from it and this can easily be applied to all fields of knowledge. But to meet outside and beyond mere agreement we need to grasp the essential quality of the unified Truth together. When we see perfectly eye to eye.

Superstition.

Latin superstitio. The formation of the Latin word is clear, from the verb super-stare, "to stand over, stand upon; survive".

Compare with “Understand”; to stand under, to humble yourself. The need to know, the need to cling to and the need to believe in whatsoever reveals our superstition. But when you understand you don’t need to know, you will humble yourself and say it as it is without resorting to white lies, half-truths and pure made-up assumptions. It’s so common that we fall back upon our own cherished beliefs when pressured. Never questioned, our ideas will rule our worldview. Without realising it we are superstitious to the bone. Can you be free from your

own hard earned opinions and firm convictions? Can we not hold onto our thoughts and ideals when asked to find out together? Come at it afresh. With a beginners mind. Not knowing, without an agenda. And then to discover what is true; a living truth that is enacted by the very act of asking the question. From not-knowing to knowing, over and over again.

Daring not to resort to an escape clause when in doubt. Can you live with such uncertainty? But it is a free life. Free from superstition.

Atemi in Aikido.

Sometimes the Atemi (strike) in Aikido is misunderstood. As Aikido is foremost a fixed setup partner practice with an Uke/ Nage, step by step form based interaction, we need to see the Atemi as part of the whole engagement. First, our Atemi delivery in training is never meant to ‘land’, whether with a hand, foot or with a weapon. We should always learn to stop in time, to control our distance, speed and timing. Uke therefore has to respond in kind. Not reacting to block or to counter in order to neutralise the Atemi but to ‘go with’ the intent of the strike, using your hand or arm only to gently protect the targeted area. If we decide to block and hinder the Atemi knowing very well where the strike is aimed we in effect turn the tables on Nage and a struggle usually ensues which scuppers Nages attempt to learn the technique properly. Ukes initial attack when with a Shomen-uchi, Yokomen-uchi or Tsuki should be on target, precise and sharp but with the control to stop it if necessary. But unlike a boxer Uke doesn’t withdraw the punch or strike but allow it to be used in the ensuing motion, extending rather than contracting, enabling the full range of the technique to be employed. Now both Uke and Nage need to be relatively solid, flexible and balanced yet responsive to the intended form of the technique practiced. Yes

it’s a choreographed form, not a free engagement as in sparring. Some will add this as heightened test for your skill level but then we are stepping into the work of combative arts.

And for me it changes the dynamics. Then Atemi becomes a real weapon and will be used as such in the interaction. And that is a skill in its own right. Within the Atemi of Aikido the precision of a weapon exists yet the way we utilise it in practice is to help the ensuing flow, to learn about distance and to add a level of seriousness. So please, in practice, don’t block or hinder Nages counter Atemi. Stay safe by moving your body in response and use your palm to protect your face just in case.

As Uke, control your attack and measure and know the distance you can use. Because we don’t want to get into a push-and-pull way of doing Aikido. Furthermore the counter Atemi should be delivered as part of the whole, in sync with the rest of the application. In Kihon static exercise learn the internal movements, in flowing ease up on the harshness so not to break up the fluidity. Don’t linger with the Atemi when in flow.

Ki Flow and Blending:

“In sharp contrast with solid techniques where the motion starts from a static state (Kihon), this (Awase) exercise features flexible and smooth movements. Mastery of solid techniques is a prerequisite to commanding this fluid technique.” M Saito.

Aikido is not conclusive.

Aikido, like a good conversation, should build. One thing building upon another, possibly never ending. An evolution in relationship where we grow through the interaction. Where one thing leads to another, where experience and knowledge stack up, accumulating information as it develops. This is learning in communion. But not for the isolation of the individual but as an organic whole. A system informed and enlightened by its own

participation. Therefore you can’t own it. It doesn’t belong to you and that’s why you share it. Like a good conversation..

String’em up.

A wonderful quality in Aikido can be when you’re able to suspend the other in midair. Almost as you’d slow down into ultra rapid before accelerating again. Slow and fast interchangeably with a feeling of drawing the other in. This depends very much on Ukes ability and cooperation and on the quality of Nages sensitivity and skill. If you’re able to intercept an activity with preempted motion you may draw the other out, almost similar to stringing them up, filling the space between you. Now it’s important that you do not execute when in this advantageous situation and violate the trust of your vulnerable uke. So you learn to handle it with care. This can be more or less dynamic depending on the skill level of the aikidokas so the range can differ considerably. Once we begin to taste this quality can we work towards making it smoother? Round off the rough corners? Feel the transitions and make them seamless without any breaks? Until it becomes like the wind through the trees. Like a master puppeteer making his puppets come alive with grace.

No Shadow.

“God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all”.

When my father died there was so much love around as I spent days with my mother at home. Long after, my mother mentioned she couldn’t remember anything from these days yet I remembered everything like it was yesterday as it had

been so extraordinarily tender and subtle. The love of my father now being present in the house and we both had recognised it together. He was inside of me. My mother couldn’t remember or so she said. Some said it was the shock but I think it is because of the subtlety of the experience. The light and love that Grief is an expression of, is not recognisable to the ordinary mind. It goes under the radar. It escapes the ordinary senses and it does not lodge in memory because it is timeless.

Ever present, love goes unnoticed to ordinary mind just as light cast no shadow.

Coming home.

Returning to your self every time you find yourself lost. If you do know yourself you will be able to express yourself clearly without hesitation. The whole path can be summed up in two words; ‘know thyself’. Knowing yourself is not something you arrive at on your death bed, nor is it something that needs to take an excessive long time to figure out. It is not the culmination nor end of the path. It’s there in the beginning, middle and end. It’s the best starting point. If you’re blind it’s when you regain your sight. Suddenly you’re able to see. And by seeing you can walk the path. The path is near about endless so better regain your sight at the beginning so you don’t spend your time fumbling in the dark. Knowing yourself is not difficult. Just stay present. Your present conscious awareness devoid of added thoughts will reveal who you are in its pristine nature. This conscious aspect of your being will upon close scrutiny show that you are existing prior to form, name and time. Devoid of history you stand in yourself. From this default place you’re free to question, to inquire, and to realise, deeper and deeper, who and what you are. You will also be able to scrutinise all things in the same light; you yourself as well as all others share the same fundamental mind/body/spirit makeup and therefore what applies to you applies to all.

Coming to understand that your deepest-most nature of your being is non-separate from others breaks the notion of separation. Suddenly all is seen just as it is. Regardless of who we are we come to share the same stage. If we can recognise this together we will experience a profound communion; and dialogue and communication will become vibrant and alive.

Return home from wherever you are and start again. Break the illusion of separation and share your experience as one. Do it sooner rather than later and save yourself the personal struggle of self-development.

The Importance of Immediate Response (or Wish you were here).

Respond like an echo. You’re so with the engagement your reply comes spontaneously, it’s part of a natural engagement.

Someone gives you their hand and you take it without asking.

You receive and respond without thinking. There’s no hesitation, doubt or suspicion. Being with the other is not a threat. It’s easy and joyful. Things move on, we never linger nor stall. Things get done without effort.

These days to get a word out of anyone is almost impossible.

Many are so guarded, in their own head, egocentric and disinterested in what anyone else says to them they completely ignore them. You ask a question and you won’t get a reply. A blank stare at best. You leave a message and a week go by.

This is the unenlightened culture we live in and people think it’s normal. Just leave other people hanging. Like there’re no repercussions or consequences. Walk out, don’t say a word.

Ignorance is really arrogance. We live in a world where everyone knows better, no one needs another, and we feel entitled to ignore anything we don’t care for. How far away isn’t that from a spiritual perspective where everything counts, everything you say and everything you do. If you want to explore the spiritual domain you’ll need to look into the

immediacy of response and why it’s so important. It’s imperative: Truth does not exist as a separate reality as a static Absolute. It has no meaning as an idea or concept. Truth is expressed in what we do. Therefore we can't talk about it without being it. It has to be proven as we speak about it. It has to be manifested through our understanding of the immediacy of awakening. It is now and now and now. Anything less will only be an expression of ignorance and of arrogance if we believe we know something.

The confines of the set up.

Does the confinement define you? Krishnamurti asked the question, “why do you want to be a master technician? A master this or that? Why not a master Human Being?” And what is the difference? It’s not that being good at something is bad. Having professionals is essential in any given field to spearhead that particular skill and knowledge. And all accrued and combined knowledge is what constitutes our evolution. So we all partake and share in the evolution of mankind by the infinite various arts and crafts we pursue. Combined they all become the world we live in. Infinitely rich and varied we are spoiled for choice. Yet as an individual can we remain free from the identification with any particular skill set and realise what constitutes being human?

The Human Template.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?”

Now do you think there is a definite blueprint of what constitutes being a human being? A shared identity that we all possess? Or is it a blank canvas upon which you can write your own story? Despite all of our inherited traits and conditions do you think underneath it all is an unconditioned naked reality? If so, what is that reality? Is it the same for you and me? Is it nothing? Or is it endowed with qualities? If so, do these attributes form and shape us? Universal qualities that apply equally to every single person. Can we begin to distinguish between the original template and the added and conditioned version of our selves? To separate what is real and what is unreal (or temporal). It’s important to be able to see our original nature with its inherent qualities separate from our conditioned add-ons. We don’t need to confuse the two even though they live together through our full lifespan. So begin to look at yourself and distinguish what was there from the beginning and what has been added along the way.

Everybody Knows.

If we see each other truthfully we can’t hide anything and we know the other as we know ourselves. So it would be easy to pick out the traits and habits of another. We usually don’t unless it disturb or harm. Yet sometimes we take it upon ourselves to enlighten the other of their ways. To balance our critique we’ll add some good points as well. To be the bringer of either good news or bad, implies that the other is unaware of it and needs addressing. Yet what is often missed, is that if you can see it, so can all others. Knowing oneself, we have forgiveness and plenty of room in our heart to see the other clearly. Not that we turn a blind eye and let things pass unnoticed but we give credit to the person to know himself.

And in that we can meet and find the level playing field where everything is out in the open, everything being self evident.

Natural Hierarchy.

Can you see it? Right now! As we move across anything there’s an unspoken order to which all things fall naturally. All things; human, animal and vegetation as well as inanimate matter. Rain run down the mountainside and steam evaporates from the fields. The trees bend in the wind and I scratch the itch on my arm. Someone asks me and I reply. Thoughts of remembrance brings me to you. I eat and I sleep with no effort of my own.

How easy I work. A myriad of paths cross my way and never am I off course. I’m soft and kind for no reason but its own. I’m high and I’m low due simply to circumstance. Why enforce my will or pretend I know? All things fall naturally where they belong. Develop yourself for the love of growth. Sitting on the bench I make room for you. My mind can’t keep up with this flow. The more I let go, the faster it goes. When all stops has been taken out it’s a free fall through the universe. All things fall through all things. No obstruction anywhere. Even hatred and pain is swallowed up by the sum total of a receiving body.

Krishnamurti speaks.

Krishnamurti was the person that opened my eyes and ears to the development of a conversation. His long discourses lead you in to a process of investigation, a turning within to question things anew. Simply by staying with his investigation, either listening to a tape or watching a video of his talks, or reading one of his books, would take my mind on a journey of self discovery. The key was in the listening and following. Like being taken by the hand and guided to a new world. It opened the mind to a living system where everything was present, vital and clear. This was mainly a one-way communication from speaker to listener. Today I believe we can and should endeavour to have the same process taking place but in a

shared directed investigation. A mutual inquiry through dialogue. By taking an active part in the introspection and contemplation we add to the awareness of the whole group. So instead of being a passive listener, with its own merits, we become part of the fabric that expands, one thread among many that through weaving together creates a unified field. But it’s of vital importance that we distinguish the Ego and are able to see the larger context of which we all partake in. We can do this in a passive roll but then we have not learned to integrate it into a living relationship where truth is expressed in the response to the ongoing situation. This is what we learn in Aikido; constant response, always moving with the interaction.

This is our physical relearning, from reactionary or stationary (fight or flight) to responsive and unified movement. And taking it further, being on the scene even before anything have time to develop. So aware of the escalating situation that you’re one if not two steps ahead simply by being conscious and paying attention. Letting your spirit be large enough to feel the whole room without loosing your own centre. This kind of holistic engagement enhances not only the group consciousness but your own self as well. Larger than life we find a new way to communicate, beyond the very limiting interactions between individual Egos. We’ll learn to leave our self at the entrance, like taking your shoes off at the door, and joining a shared space wherein we all are of equal worth. This is what a shared investigation can do. And for that reason we all make an effort to join in. Yet what we’re trying to establish is but a beginning, a solid foundation that will be our template for all future engagement.

Shut it down.

If we nip it in the bud, if we kill it before it grows, there won’t be any development. That’s why when the old Shogun went

hunting they closed off three flanks and left one open, leaving an escape route for the animal to find (either through cunning, luck or providence) or to be caught and killed. It was considered an act of benevolence because to shut down all options was seen as overly oppressive. In a similar manner, leaving exquisite art work slightly flawed or to leave a few remaining rice grains after a meal, was to leave room for more.

Not to exhaust a situation, but to allow for continuation of life.

Just as a band comes to the end of one improvisation, leaving just enough space for it to regain its strength to flow into a new creation. So it must be in Aikido. Because, in fact, it’s a natural balance of things. For example, if you would restrain your friend (or foe) in an excessive manner they would panic and your hold would suddenly be deemed violent. There’s a point where just force is appropriate but past that point we need to allow for an opening. This is beautifully shown in advanced Aikido where uke is allowed to continue the engagement where we flow from one thing to another. In order to dissipate anger and aggression we need to leave room for the other to return to his senses.

Point of Balance.

Like the bottom-heavy doll we used to have as kids, the one that always returned to an upright position after being pushed over, all things, we, humans and animals alike and nature itself have the propensity of uprightness, or of up-righteousness as I like to call it. We grow upwards, towards the sun if you like.

And whether we lie down, sit or stand our body always align or adjust itself according to gravity while rising. Unless we take the corpse-pose in Yoga, being deeply asleep, unconscious or dead we have a tendency to rise. Our mind wants to get back to an upright position. This ‘buoyancy’ is the living spark of life, just as a baby tries to sit, then stand and walk. Once old

enough this becomes our accustomed point of balance, and even if conditioned by your personal aches and pains, bad habits and mindset we always return to the upright position after being off balance. We bounce back after being down. It’s programmed deep in our DNA, this will to live and to get up no matter what. I don’t know about you but it blows my mind.

Since I wrote a piece a few years ago with the same title I’ve learned a lot, a work in the beginning stages, and feel the need to update it. My teacher teaches the internal aspects of properly aligning and balancing opposing forces within you and how that can and will result in what is referred to as an immovable body. I will not try to outline this process because I can’t. But I’d like to expand on the quality of the ‘buoyancy’ of the body when training the uke-nage dynamics in Aikido. And as there are many ways you can flog a horse (pardon the expression) I’ll only speak from my own preference of the engagement. In order not to either collapse the engagement and not to overly shut it down, both uke and nage retain their own balance, but uke only to a point. Nage ‘allow’ uke to stay just on his limit, balancing him on the brink, in order to move him effortlessly. If you break ukes balance completely he’ll collapse with no rebound quality left in him. Therefore keep him sweet by moving him within his own range of balance. Too much and you’ll loose him, too little and he’ll regain his stability. This spring-back system makes for a dynamic interchange in our application of technique. Uke learns to be pliable, responsive and buoyant, nage learns to find the correct amount of input, find the sweet spot in balancing uke. The sensitivity cultivated in both uke and nage makes for a smooth interaction. This can be practiced within the set forms of the various techniques but also within a free flowing interchange where you mix it up. It is a partner practice and not a randori style attack and defend scenario. Both are equally learning how to blend. The focus is on the flow and matching.

Extrapolate.

Play the field, from small to large, and from large to small. From slow to fast, from gross to subtle and back. From ice to water to steam. Its form and appearance changes. One not better than the other, one not more evolved than the other. How often we hear people praising one and ridiculing the other, thinking one is correct while the other is not. Not knowing one begets the other and one being the extrapolation of the other. A musician knows how to play the high notes as well as the low notes, he doesn’t distinguish one being better than the other.

Basic, flexible and flowing form in Aikido is just that; different phases of the same thing. You praise steam over ice not understanding they serve their own purpose. If you can’t play the range up and down like a professional fiddler you most likely are stuck in a rut. As a son you can’t disinherit your father. If you don’t know your basics you in most likelihood don’t know its extended expression. As ice turns into water and steam its function changes and we use all of them for different purposes. A spiral begins from a point and widens as it uncoils. We can’t say that one end is more important than the other. That’s so ignorant if we don’t know better and so arrogant if we do. Better claim nothing and work on what we don’t have. Spirit and matter are not that far apart when you look closer. Father and son, of the same essence, and how do you know the Father if not through his Son? How do we learn if not from the bottom up, from the small to the large, step by step we develop. Just because we grow up we don’t discard childhood. We remember what came before and what took us to where we are now. O Sensei said when asked how he could do the things he did, it was because he’d practiced the basics all of his life. So we can see in ice the water, and in water the steam, and in steam the water, and in water the ice. Now show it.

Say no more..

On turning the other cheek: “And when He had said these things, one of the officers who stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, “Do You answer the high priest like that? Jesus answered him, “If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil; but if well, why do you strike Me?” Hold them to account for the things they do. Let them explain themselves.

Since everybody knows what they are doing no evil is left unaccounted for. In small things as well as in big things nothing goes amiss. Even your thoughts are counted to you. O Sensei said: “In Japan, the feeling of shame is regarded as a certain kind of sensitivity and, therefore, a virtue. How can we not feel shame if we ignore our divine nature and our true purpose in life? This is the origin of all shame. Real understanding of Aikido will only come about through daily purification (misogi) and through constantly striving for the creation of a better world.”

Knowing versus not-knowing.

‘But there is more!’ keeps ringing in my ears. Having had discovered a level of understanding I was happy with, I felt no need to explore any further. My conclusions were based on hard earned facts and serious study. I knew they were true.

This made it so much harder to accept to question them again.

Why should I? I saw no need to do so but you insisted.

Sometimes when we’re asked to think beyond what we already know and to forego any prior conclusions we bottle up.

Especially if we’re kind of forced to. We stick to what we know, hold on tight and not let it go, wanting to clarify our point even more than necessary. But when I realised the ‘more’ was not more of the same but something altogether different it freed me up to find out anew. A psychological barrier presents itself

when we don’t understand and we are asked to change our view. It’s not that our present understanding is wrong. It’s just that it does not cover a different perspective. So if we leave room for alternative explanations we might just have an ‘aha’ moment when we realise that the new view is valid and we can appreciate it. It’s just that the impasse in between not-knowing and knowing that cause us to doubt and hesitate, or even close up and resist. Different nationalities have different reactive patterns that we can become aquatinted with, and when laid bare can be quite amusing. Recognising these conditioned national traits are important in order for us to be free from their effect. When we ‘see’ them we are much more likely not to shut down, even though we can feel the pressure in our Ego to react. Know your self.

It’s not a laughing matter. Covid 19

Sincerity is the only correct response. Whether it’s too much or too little is not the point. Whether it’s here or there doesn’t change the facts. How we deal with it is all that matters. What’s in people’s heart is suddenly all out there. Fear abound but it does not deter people for doing the right thing at the right time.

Fear can bring out the best in people and sincerity is one of best qualities in man. It holds no malice nor does it blame.

Sincerity does not boast but it gets the job done.

Be safe everyone.

A one trick pony.

Having an answer that you use across the board for all questions is not a fully integrated spiritual perspective. It’s quite convenient to use a set formula to all life’s questions but

it’s not really truthful nor nuanced enough to address our multilayered society. It can be a common trait among some spiritual realisers, to use an Absolute jargon when facing any question or concern. Especially by the neo-Advaita proponents and extreme religious fanatics that conclude that nothing exists but the Absolute Self/God and therefore use it as a blanket response to all and any question coming their way. Ultimately true yet it might not be the appropriate and fitting answer to all inquiries. It shows a lack of understanding that the relative exists within the context of the Absolute and that the relative has an Absolute true response inherent within itself. Once we see no difference between the Absolute and the relative can we join the human family and laugh or cry as the situation dictates.

We’re no longer living on a cloud of our own making. Inherent in the universe is a multi-verse where each thing has an absolute value and intrinsic nature to it. That’s why the Father is in the Son and Son is in the Father. If you separate them you make a divide between the profound and the mundane. This is why we can never exhaust any topic. It’s never ending, ever expanding. If you live on planet Advaita you isolate yourself to an island of your own making. I’m reminded of a conversation that I heard between a well known Western Advaita teacher and a student who asked about the meaning of the Buddha’s eightfold noble path. The teacher was noticeably loss for words for a short moment but then recourse-fully applied the Advaita formula of nothing exists but the Absolute, nullifying completely a fair question. Instead of actually admitting to not knowing the answer the teacher makes a sweeping generalisation to cover all bases. That makes you a one-trick pony in my book. One answer to suit them all. On the other hand, the Buddha’s expedient or skilful means is the fully realised persons ability to address any and all situations as they arise in an appropriate and perfect manner. Being Absolute we never forget the human dimension that Samsara is fundamentally the fertile ground of Nirvana. Remember, the Buddha shows up in all six realms of existence without being stained yet addressing all according to

their own understanding. This is Aikido, the ability and skill to adjust according to your partner, to fit the engagement. To match perfectly by standing alone in your Self.

A Sacred Vessel.

When the floodwaters came we were carried above. We all came together and together we lived. I remember standing on a hill in Marine County in northern California many years ago, Mount Tamalpais looming in the background. The dry hillsides made it a spectacular ridge walk. By myself I stopped for moment to take in the scenery. So far away from the bustling busy life in the city, so quiet and beautiful, I was charmed and I could feel floodwaters submerging the whole Earth and as the water rose over the hills we were carried above as in a vessel. I could see it before my eyes. This of course was metaphorical yet a very real vision. And all the lands and people submerged did not notice it while the life raft was a real thing that floated upon and lifted one over the mass of the flood.

How to isolate the Self.

Take everything you own, all your possessions and put them aside. Take everything you know, all your thoughts and feelings and suspend them for a while. Take your name, gender and age, who you know yourself to be and forget about it for a moment.

Without resorting to memory, with your eyes closed, without peeping, tell me how old your Self is? Without opening your eyes, tell me where You begin and where You end? Ageless and without limits did you say? Did this dier when you were

five? Or ten? Or is it the same now? And will it always be the same? Isolate the Self and you’ll find something that lasts for ever and ever. Identify the Self. Neti neti.

Intellectual Inquiry.

Will lead to emotional freedom. Jnana ज्ञान, the Hindu word meaning knowledge. The idea of jnana centers on a cognitive event which is recognised when experienced. It is knowledge inseparable from the total experience of Reality (Brahman).

Experience itself is ‘seeing and knowing’. Seeing as in recognising and knowing as in understanding.

When the Buddha finally awakened under the Bodhi tree, he saw and understood, that everything that will come to be will pass away:

“But when my knowledge and vision of these four noble truths as they really are in their three phases and twelve aspects was thoroughly purified in this way, then I claimed to have awakened to the unsurpassed perfect enlightenment in this world with its devas, Mara, and Brahma, in this generation with its recluses and brahmins, its devas and humans. The knowledge and the vision arose in me: 'Unshakeable is the liberation of my mind. This is my last birth. Now there is no more re-becoming."

This is what the Blessed One said. Being pleased, the bhikkhus of the group of five delighted in the Blessed One's statement.

And while this discourse was being spoken, there arose in the Venerable Kondanna the dust-free, stainless vision of the Dhamma: "Whatever is subject to origination is all subject to cessation”. And when the Wheel of the Dhamma had been set in motion by the Blessed One, the earth devas raised a cry: "At Baranasi, in the Deer Park at Isipatana, this unsurpassed Wheel of the Dhamma has been set in motion by the Blessed One, which cannot be stopped by any recluse or brahmin or deva or

Mara or Brahma or by anyone in the world." Having heard the cry of the earth devas, the devas of the realm of the Four Great Kings raised a cry: "At Baranasi ... this unsurpassed Wheel of the Dhamma has been set in motion by the Blessed One, which cannot be stopped ... by anyone in the world." Having heard the cry of the devas of the realm of the Four Great Kings, the Tavatimsa devas ... the Yama devas ... the Tusita devas ... the Nimmanarati devas ... the Paranimmitavasavatti devas ... the devas of Brahma's company raised a cry: "At Baranasi, in the Deer Park at Isipatana, this unsurpassed Wheel of the Dhamma has been set in motion by the Blessed One, which cannot be stopped by any recluse or brahmin or deva or Mara or Brahma or by anyone in the world." Thus at that moment, at that instant, at that second, the cry spread as far as the Brahma-world, and this ten thousandfold world-system shook, quaked, and trembled, and an immeasurable glorious radiance appeared in the world surpassing the divine majesty of the devas.

Then the Blessed One exclaimed: "Kondanna knows!

Kondanna knows!" In this way the Venerable Kondanna acquired the name "Anna Kondanna -Kondanna Who Knows."

Now having established ‘Seeing and Knowing’ as fundamental to Realisation, we must understand it to be an ongoing ever present event. Once seen and understood it can never be ‘unseen’ or ‘not understood’. Seeing is believing in that sense.

Then you are certain for yourself. Yet Jesus adds to this the power of Faith: “Then Jesus said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and look at My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas replied, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

So simply ‘hearing’ the Dharma can be the catalyst to Faith, the catalyst to Awakening, as it was for Kondanna. Simply hearing the Truth being expounded can open your eyes to see

and to understand. To stand under, to stand underneath is the sign of humility, of receptivity. To be open to the Truth. Like in the Zen tale: Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

Let’s move on to how all this understanding, knowing and seeing will affect your emotions. Many years ago while traveling in India pursuing my spiritual quest, I doubted my ability to open up in a heartfelt way. Being a Swede it comes easy to us to be remote and distant, never really opening up to an emotional engagement. We’re known to be cold and calculating. None of that Mediterranean hot temper in us. I believed this was stopping me from embracing Spirit in a full and complete manner. Seeing others being ecstatic and emotionally exuberant I felt at loss. So I took my doubts and query to Swami Krishnananda in the Shivananda Ashram in Rishikesh. I had always pursued my spiritual interest with a keen intellect, wanting to understand my experience and gain knowledge that would liberate me. Now I wanted to gain access to the other side of my being, the emotional and sensual part of myself. So as I sat down on the floor beneath his bed in his little room, I (emotionally) pleaded with him about how to gain access to the heart? I told him I was a head person and was always seeking for answers that I could understand.

Now his reply was as simple as it was short; “the head and the heart comes from the same place”. My mouth fell open. Why, it had never crossed my mind but there it was. So simple and direct. My doubts vanished and I was as elated as I was relieved. Phew, knowing and being issue from the same place.

Neither taking precedence. Different manifestations of the same thing. This funnily freed my joy up and the love and passion immediately returned. Knowledge is Joy. Wisdom is Sophia. Ok finally we’re getting to where I wanted to go; Bhakti भिक्त, the devotional aspect of Realisation. Or rather, the effect and the only appropriate response to an awakened heart and mind. Awakened understanding and intelligence will only be appreciated in compassion and in heartfelt love through devotion to the Truth itself. The living flame of Faith. Bhakti means attachment, participation, fondness for, homage, faith, love, devotion, worship, purity. This is the emotional natural response and outcome of Jnana. So if you seek with your head you’ll find with your heart. No need to look elsewhere. Look at Ramakrishna.

Process..

Has one injunctive, to bring you to a liberated view. To lead you from the personal to the universal. It does so by deconstructing your minds thought process. It takes down your established framework for you to see again. The work means not to add but to subtract. We deconstruct what we think we know and lead ourselves into simplicity and one-pointedness. We have an aim. We are not there solely for the ride. We will use the raft to cross the river but once over we can leave it behind. We use our contemplation and meditation, our dialogue and introspection to arrive on the opposite shore. It doesn’t have to take time, we don’t necessarily have to become good oarsmen.

We simply just want to get to the other side. Don’t forget that the process is the means not the end. So take a minute to think about what it is you want. Do you want to be free? Do you want to arrive on the further shore?

In the Buddha’s words:

"In the same way, monks, I have taught the Dharma compared to a raft, for the purpose of crossing over, not for the purpose of holding onto. Understanding the Dharma as taught compared to a raft, you should let go even of Dharmas, to say nothing of non-Dharmas."

The nature of Awakening.

If you feel the empty space within you, you can see how that does not differentiate from the space outside of you.

I remember, sitting on the floor at a Buddhist meditation retreat where the monk was explaining emptiness to us. He used his food bowl to illustrate the empty space within. I had this image of him throwing the bowl above our heads across the room. As it tumbled through the air I realised that the ‘emptiness’ within the bowl wasn’t belonging to the bowl. Instead the bowl was hurled through empty space and in like manner, I can now see that the empty space within me, the space where I find myself at peace, doesn’t belong to me or can’t be claimed by me. I can’t fix it to me. But wherever I go it fulfils me.

The Buddhist term ‘emptiness’ is a translation of Śūnyatā शून्यता but it really means ‘nothingness’. The qualitative difference is that there is no ‘I, me or mine’ that can claim it. Empty of self.

No self. Why is this liberating? Because the need to fix yourself goes out the window. There is no I to be fixed. So the nature of your own awakening rests on itself. Becoming aware of, and cognisant of, that the empty space that you occupy is no different from any one else’s will release you from your own self-fixation. We all occupy the same space. This is the nature of awakening.

Fascination

Is surely needed. Self interest and a desire to see and to understand is a minimum requirement for awakening. Attention to detail. A tension to know. A wish to see, to comprehend and to grasp. Just wanting to escape suffering is not enough. You don’t want to run away from something, you’d want to run towards something. Like Rumi expressed it:

I would love to kiss you!

-The price of kissing is your life.

Now my loving is running toward my life shouting; What a bargain, let's buy it.

The Razors Edge

It’s a balancing act to stay on the thin and narrow. Why did the Buddha call his way the middle path? Because it’s so easy to slip either one way or the other. I recall being with my teacher in Satsang and him propping me up, guiding me forward in the investigation. It was so easy to go off on a tangent, to veer from the subject matter into personal reflections or doubt. He was leading me down a very thin narrative where I had to stay the course in order to penetrate to an understanding that would cut through my mind. He kept on bringing me back to a sharpness and keenness, to a one-pointedness of intent: What does it mean to be free? Free, once and for all. Unconditional freedom. I had to give up my past and I had to give up my future, stay present and walk the line. Spiritual inquiry is all about clarifying your mind. Cut through your thoughts and emotions with the sharpness of the razors edge. Stay the course to see it through till the end.

What can we do and how can we proceed? How can we figure it out? Try to see what is what, simplicity versus complexity. We

don’t actually need to shift through every layer of the human psyche in order to know what’s what. We can make a clean break, make a clear division between two things. On one side we’ll have absolute simplicity, and on the other, everything else.

Confusion and complexity we group amongst everything else.

Not knowing and Being on the other. Now don’t sit on the fence. Know what’s what and decide where you ought to be.

Nothing versus everything. Non-doing versus doing. This is how you can proceed.

Cutting through Material Spiritualism.

Feel good methods, practices, routines, all geared towards our wellbeing. We all need physical and mental training to keep healthy. The body conditions the mind and with the right mindset we condition our body through exercise. We eat, breathe and sleep right, we study and inform ourselves. Yet we can’t escape our lapses of concentration and guilty pleasures and we happily neglect what’s good for us. In this time of upheaval maybe we become more aware of our need to feel good, to overcome our laissez-faire attitude towards our own present state. Maybe we now feel a greater need to connect, to find a common norm to abide by, to meet others in? Mental and physical health goes hand in hand so we seek out practices that will fulfil this reawakened desire. Not only to feel better but also to find peace of mind; to find meaning behind the chaos and maybe fear? Times of large scale crises forces us to rethink and reevaluate our lives. Compassion and care rises to the surface but also uncertainty and fragility in the face of loss of lives. It’s very important now that we take this seriously and approach it with a deep commitment. Practices and methods will be our first go-to place of atonement. We may rely on them as a life-ring to keep us afloat. This is all perfectly fine and good and if they save our life, fantastic. Yet for our spiritual training we’d like to take it further. We’d like to learn to swim without any props. The aid is there to help us,

even save us, but there’s a watershed moment where we let go of the method.

If you’re looking for spiritual freedom this is the direction you want to go. Understanding practices and methods, using them and then transcending them. Rising above them yet including them in the process. This is the art of cutting through material spiritualism.

I'm living in a world that has yet to come into existence.

The only way to make it real is to bring you into it.

I can glorify it, rave about it, but without your help it won't come into being.

Every time we meet, the promise is before us. What we do decides the outcome. Now there’s a learning inherent in this.

We can never take it for granted. Sincerity and humility wins the day.

The eyes have it, the eyes have it.

When there’s no owner who owns it? It’s worth repeating, the elderly monk summing up his life lived by the riverside, peddling water to the thirsty. But when there’s no I and no other, as things are naturally in a state of purity, there is no need to infer ignorance. If you take away the basis upon which ignorance can cling, it won't be able to thrive. That’s why when the first disciples of the Buddha sat down next to him, their anxiety left them and the immaculate vision of the Dharma arose spontaneously. Yet we never loose sight of the world and of its conditions and since it’s not about you, we have the perfect means to meet.

NHS staff

Cleaners, cooks, orderlies, admin, health care workers, nurses, therapists and doctors. You who have worked in the NHS knows that it’s the health care assistants and nurses that do the majority of the patient care; the constant looking after, feeding, administering drugs, wash, turn, lift, change clothes, blood tests, temperature and blood pressure monitoring, constant ventilator monitoring. They are the ones that will clean and keep dignified their patients even in death. They will wash and comb their hair, speak to, care and love your elderly and not so elderly. They are the ones that will hold their hands in moments of despair. They are also the most underpaid and undervalued workers we have, many from far away countries, only allowed in to the U.K. to work 12 hour shifts with hardly 30 minutes for lunch, accommodated in tiny NHS rooms that none of us would see fit to live in. All you nurses and health care assistants, you are our heroes. We can’t thank you enough.

Now when testing is being rolled out they first test those at home so they can be forced back to work. That’s how we treat them. Work or loose your job. Most do work, happily and willingly, risking their lives and dying on a minimum wage.

Thank you but you need to be recompensed and accepted as our key workers saving us all. You are our Heroes and you need and deserve more than just accolades and a thank you from the PM.

And a big thank you to the scientists that understand the spread of pandemics and know how to curtail it. Where would we be without you?

For all of you that are loosing loved ones, my heart goes out to you. Be safe, stay safe.

A Way of Seeing.

Remain open, like a zoom lens on a camera stuck in wide angle. Don’t close in, don’t make it personal. Like when we fall silent watching the expanse of space at night or the wide sky on a clear day, we are lost for words. When we fall within in meditation and discover a limitless landscape, the empty nature makes us go quiet as if not to disturb. So it takes practice and training to find the correct words to make it justice. We don’t want to belittle our experience. We are in awe and stunned by the magnitude of consciousness itself. How do we communicate from this perspective? Let’s not go inside and chat about how great it was, but instead let’s stay under the night-sky and speak as if there is no tomorrow. Here and now, with clear and present conscious awareness. Our words will carry meaning and purpose way beyond any personal concern as our shared experience will mirror the vast empty expanse of our interior.

Body and blood.

Now if we partake in the body and blood of Christ by having communion we need to understand what that means, in the biggest possible sense. So Jesus being God incarnate his body can not be any less than this very Universe itself, and what then is his blood running through it if not Time itself? So partaking in this Easter mystery we get to taste both the infinite and the eternal qualities of Life itself.

And only by becoming One with him can we break our limits of me and you.

“He is Risen”

Jesus Christ has set the bar to which we can compare ourselves. If we haven't reached it we can't but humble ourselves. There is no danger to put the bar too high. He died for us. As long as we value our lives before others we will not accomplish anything. Not until we give our lives as Christ did can we be delivered. That is the law. Nobody can stand this ultimatum, it is too much. But it cannot work in any other way.

Anything else will only be a fragment of the whole. To reach all, everybody, forever, you have to give everything.

Truth does not exist as a separate reality as a static Absolute. It has no meaning as an idea or concept. Truth is expressed in what we do. Therefore we can't talk about it without being it. It has to be proven as we speak about it. It has to be manifested through our understanding of the immediacy of awakening. It is now and now and now. Anything less will only be an expression of ignorance and of arrogance if we believe we know something.

Truth can be seen with a radical shift of perspective but only Love will complete it.

Shifting from the limited fixed identity of yourself to a greater encompassing view, completely inclusive of all things, means that you no longer anchor your own personality in your Ego; your time bound body and mind. But that in itself is not enough. Even though it will free you from being identified with your historical self, it won’t release you from being separate unless you’re able to see yourself as every other being. But most importantly, unless you realise that this underlying unitary nature, your own undivided self, is Love you won’t escape the division you create between you and me. This Love is not an

outsiders emphatic compassion for the suffering of mankind but more of a complete identity with it. A non-separate realisation that we are One in body, mind and spirit in time and space. That means that when you see me or any other being, you see no difference. You see me so completely nothing goes amiss. It’s like seeing your own mirror image. You know yourself inside and out.

It’s so fast you can’t study it. It doesn’t matter if you know ‘about’ it. Unless you can employ it here and now with an instant affinity to the other, there’s really no way you can understand it. Yea you can be shitty about it and arrogantly dismiss anyone who doesn’t agree with you but then you have not even begun to see your inherent sameness. When I’m you and I know you’re me, there is absolutely no reason for me to create separation based on individuality. And it doesn’t for one minute excuse any inappropriate language. Care and concern would be the first recourse since you never set yourself apart.

Imagine how lovely such a meeting would be. Imposing ones views only reveals the separation you infer automatically upon all others, holding yourself to be special and different.

‘Knowing’ that you’re one is definitely different than ‘being’ one. Arrogant self conceit is such a prevalent attitude. Conceit only exists in the mind. Thinking you know more than the other fulfils your own prejudices. Only Love will overcome this selfish ‘witness’ attitude. So for all you would-be spiritual realisers out there, come down from your high horses and rejoin the human race. You can’t escape yourself, not even in an Absolute perspective. Laugh all you want but you know it’s true deep inside. The reliance on your self only reveals a fear of letting it go. Because then you’ll be no one, nobody. And that’s the scariest thing that the Ego can face. Do you have the guts to let go of your deepest knowledge? If you have no fear then we’ll meet as One. Why do I say this? Because when so many self assertive people think they know and always argue their own corner it causes confusion about what spirituality is all about. It’s not a thinking game where we compete with

different mindsets. That’s just Ego games of who knows more.

And of course, people fall into it, blindly taking sides and argue black is white and white is black till the cows come home.

Truth is a divider. It sets the normal people apart from the pretenders. Truth is simple, not difficult to grasp. Easy to adhere to if you have nothing to loose. Love wins every time.

Avalanche.

When we are angry, so angry we just need an outlet, we tend to shove it on another. We loose it and let them have it, without considering the negative impact. Just to let off steam and pent up frustration we don’t care how it comes across. We may or may not feel sorry for it afterwards, we may not even recognise the hurt we cause and never accept responsibility for it, never apologising leaving the whole thing as an open wound.

Untended wounds create bad scars if they even heal. Instead of solving the initial problem we create new and probably worse resentments due to our lack of self awareness.

How things escalate exponentially, so fast out of your control till all hell breaks loose. One word is enough to set the snowball of fury rolling. An angry mindset hellbent on criticism will explode and set off an avalanche of abuse. You just had to get it off your chest is your reason thinking it’s alright then.

Life of Grace.

Despite everything, despite our frailties and inconsistencies, we come out ok. What does grace have to do with that? So we mess up again and again. We hurt ourselves and others, even if not intended. Pre-born habits, conditioned behaviour,

unconscious motives or simply non-attentive awareness, all play a part. Yet we are pardoned. Yet we forgive. This is Grace and Mercy. We understand that we’re not perfect even if we try so we give everyone the benefit of doubt. We don’t judge because we know our human nature to be what it is. We can see through personality traits and love them anyway. We see the better in everyone as we want them to think the better of us. Freedom is not based on perfection but on that despite our imperfections we can love. Hindsight and remorse, awakened conscience and forgiveness are human tools for reparation of hurt. Yet these awakened senses do not only work in retrospect but filter out all inconsistencies as we engage in the moment.

They are a live tool that address only the real in us, speaking directly to the heart of the matter regardless of personality.

When we no longer hold the other at ransom we can see through all layers of self and meet despite. Forgiveness is already a precondition for freedom. That’s why it is said; “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

This understanding is crucial in meeting others. Then we meet in freedom and from there all things can flow.

Torbjorn Saw, born 1963, is an Aikido teacher and author of several spiritual works; compiled notes, essays and poetry.