Healthy Living for the Soul

On Memorial Day my mother and I visited the family cemetery where the handsome uniformed soldier’s black and white photo on the gravestone greeted us. Mama removed the faded artificial flowers and replaced them with bright colored ones from the Five-and-Dime store. “Mama, why are you crying? Do you miss him?” My insensitive, curious child’s mind could not comprehend her tears.

“It saddens me that he died so young and didn’t get to see his boys grow up. But if he had lived, I would not have married your daddy and where would you be? Life goes on and we must move on with it.”

The date on his headstone read, June 14, 1945. A month earlier my mother celebrated her last mother’s day before becoming a war widow with three little boys ages four, a year and a half and the baby only seven months old. Once Mama told me the story of walking with her three boys in downtown Port Arthur, Texas; the oldest would call out to tall, handsome soldiers with dark hair wearing uniforms, “Daddy, Daddy!” She laughed and said, “That was so embarrassing and did not make me look like a nice lady. Poor thing, he missed his daddy the most. The other two were too young to even remember they had a daddy.” Fortunately, Mama had family support to help raise her boys. Maybe you know a single parent who could use some help. Why not send that mother a card this month? And possibly include an offer to watch her children while she gets some much-needed self-care or include a gift card. Opening our hearts to others is a beautiful way to show support and encouragement.

Mother’s Day and Memorial Day bring an opportunity to celebrate. But for some, it’s a reminder of loss. I was born on Saturday night, the day before Mother’s Day. My Mama always said I was her best Mother’s Day gift. She died when I was 38; too young to really appreciate all she had given me. As my own children grew and moved on, I understood and appreciated my mother more. We don’t all have the good fortune to celebrate with our mothers, but hopefully, we find the time to reach back and pull forth some good memories to celebrate and honor mothers and those in the military this month.

What does it mean to mother another? One definition I found was: to bring up with care and affection. Can we turn that definition toward ourselves for a moment? How can we best give ourselves care and affection? We must care for ourselves and find ways to nurture our own sense of wellness. How do you show self- appreciation? Do you gift yourself a spa day or a day of rest and rehabilitation? Do you pick up that bouquet of flowers or order them to be delivered? Why not? Find joy; give yourself the gift of love and know that when you give to others the gift comes back to you one hundredfold.

Cheryl Floyd, Speaker/Storyteller and Heal your Life® Coach. Cheryl Floyd is a graduate of East Tennessee State University’s Master Storytelling program Her career includes over thirty years in education, publishing, life coaching, public speaking, and storytelling. www.cherylfloyd.com