Open letter to the Inland Revenue

by June Peka

Dear Peter Mersi, Commissioner of Inland Revenue. When you were appointed to your position in May 2022 you were said to have a “proven record of enhancing organisational performance”. So we expected better service this year.

I’ve always been in awe of the way cartoonists depict emotion. A subtle down turn of the mouth implies sadness, closed eyes denote weariness, slumped shoulders screech dejection. The best of all though is frustration – those simple wriggly lines emanating from the top of the head over a face full of anger, disbelief, and annoyance. I’ve seen this personified today, as my partner tries to get a form sent out from Inland Revenue. He is fuming and the air is blue. He saw it yesterday as I spent hours doing the same thing. All we want is an IR3 for goodness sake! Our internet and phone records say we have tried more than 20 times over two days to get this simple but necessary bit of paper. Mine arrived weeks ago, his didn’t. For an old fellow he’s excelled himself this morning, doing the voice recognition thing, recording his date of birth and IRD number at a dozen portals, but we still have no idea if anything did the job.

I had a go through the IRD Facebook page too, and OMG – those frustration lines, red and irate, almost leapt from the screen. Have you read them Mr Mersi? They’re fiery and palpable! Hundreds of people are wanting simple stuff sorted – just 3 minutes with a real person would do the job. Almost every one mentions the interminable delays, followed by

Coming Ready or Not!

I was daft enough to think I had escaped it proficient with their returns, or the convoluted online processes required to effect them. How about IRD rents some of the empty mall retail spaces for the month of March or April ? Set it up with two or three actual people, and take 15 minute appointments with some room for drop-ins as well. Head Office could dedicate a couple of real-person phone lines for seniors in that month too. How hard can that be?

Thought I was bulletproof and ten feet tall Then suddenly it hit me like a freight train

And I realised I was not immune at all!

Everybody in the family caught it

I was the only one to not succumb

Although I was quite careful it still found me

So thinking I'd avoid it was just dumb!

I woke up in the morning feeling dreadful the interminable voice messages, followed by the suggestions to “do it online”, followed by the inevitable hang-ups.

Because in recent years we’ve had argy-bargy with your department over lost returns (at your end), dreadful communications, with less than one hundred dollars at stake, I pledged to start early this year, but already trouble looms. I was delighted to see the department had an office in Christchurch, but am reliably informed it isn’t open to the public, and doesn’t have a telephone number. What’s it there for then, for goodness sake? There was a time, not long past when I could saunter into IRD in my lunch hour, (from another large Governmental department) pick up a form or have someone check my figures, and still have time to eat. What’s gone wrong? We cannot describe what’s happened as progress or user-friendly. I’d be embarrassed to work for you.

We’d like to make a suggestion we feel might be particularly relevant to the ageing population who aren’t

I googled your details Peter Mersi to see that you have a direct email address and phone number. Whacko I thought. I’ll go straight to the top. But (no surprises here) I have to jump through a dozen technical hoops to access you too, and we’ve both run out of energy for the task today.

PS The nice young chap at my favourite Veges Direct shop in Cranford St, asked me (as they all do) if I’d had nice day. I gave him an abridged version of the above and he “got” me immediately. He and hundreds of other Uni students spend hours (when they could be working or studying) trying to navigate the IRD system to declare holiday pay. Marion, next in line behind me chipped in;

“One of my friends got fired from IRD after a year of lots of reviews of her work. She spent too much time on calls apparently. Was too helpful, for example telling clients how to word communications to get a positive result. They said she “wasn’t a fit” so she found something else and resigned.”

You can’t be proud of your team Mr Mersi?

A fever, nasty headache, throat on fire

It felt as if I'd cough my whole insides up

(Not a thing to which you really would aspire!)

My throat had swollen so there was no eating

Each day I craved the thing I loved the most

But after several tries, it was so painful

And I couldn't even eat that piece of toast.

And though it even hurt to just drink water

Icecream was the answer to a prayer

I guess that I will gain some weight with covid

But as long as I have icecream I don't care!

My benchtop is a mass of medication

There are pills and things to suck and things to drink

I have so many boxes I could easily Establish my own pharmacy I think!

So here I am in blissful isolation

No place to go and nothing I must do I'll go and put my feet up and watch telly

And wait till this bloody virus passes through!

by Jan Beaumont

03 355 6555 fdaldin@cowdy.co.nz

Licensed Agent REAA 2008