Connections Summer 2013

CONNECTIONS the MAGAZINE

of AFLV

THE

POWER aONE

INSIDE THIS ISSUE HOW TO START A MOVEMENT #ACTUALSORORITYMOVE HARNESSING THE POWER OF ONE

VOL. 5 / ISSUE 032 / SUMMER 2013

04 HOW TO START A MOVEMENT MATT DEEG · HANOVER COLLEGE

Connections is the official publication of the Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values. The views expressed by contributors, authors and advertisers are not necessarily those of the Association.

AFLV encourages the submission of content to: Carol Nickoson • Editor connections@aflv.org Submit advertising queries to: Lea Hanson • Director of M & C lea@aflv.org 970 • 372 • 1174 888 • 855 • 8670 info@aflv.org Connections Magazine is published

by AFLV for our member subscribers four times each year.

Submission Deadlines:

Fall 2013 • Promoting Inclusive Environments • Aug 19 Winter 2014 • Values-Based Leadership • Nov 25 Spring 2014 • Meaningful Involvement • Feb 17 Summer 2014 • Parents Just Don’t Understand • June 23

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Shortly after we announced the theme for this issue, veteran Connections contributor Matt Deeg offered to share his wisdom. He knows that sorority and fraternity leaders are equipped to initiate change in their chapters and communities but might not know how to get started. Matt makes the concept of making significant change sound simple – all you need is to start a movement.

06 ACTUAL SORORITY MOVE: IT ONLY TAKES ONE JESSICA GARBER · ILLINOIS STATE UNIVERSITY

Social media is a powerful tool with many positive applications. Unfortunately it can also be used to undermine individuals and organizations. Fraternal organizations aren’t exempt; “TFM” and “TSM” have become everyday terminology for most sorority and fraternity members and, sadly, members often play into the messages from these outlets. Jessica Garber became tired of this and decided to start her own movement with “ASM”: Actual Sorority Move. Jessica shares the inspirational story about the development and growth of ASM as well as plans for its future.

10 HARNESSING THE POWER OF ONE AFLV

Not to toot our own horns or anything, but AFLV is no stranger to starting movements in the fraternal world. While we have staff and volunteers that work together to make a difference, we know all too well that it can be difficult to see change if you don’t have buy-in from others. We’ve described a few ways to get people invested in whatever change you want to make. And why not pay it forward? Once you’re equipped with the tools we’ve provided in this issue, write to use at connections@aflv.org and tell us how you’re planning to make a difference. Your story might appear in a future issue of Connections.

Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values 123 N. College Ave. • Suite 250 Fort Collins, CO • 80524 970 • 372 • 1174 888 • 855 • 8670 info@aflv.org

Creative Director • Layout & Design Steve Whitby • CAMPUSPEAK, Inc. steve.whitby@gmail.com

Editorial Board Andrea Battaglia • Drury University Kristen Darnell • Teach for America Larry Long • Michigan State University Neil Stanglein • Virginia Commonwealth Viancca Williams • University of South Florida

COLUMNS

002 // Letter from the Editor 012 // Dump the Slump: Getting Out of Your Rut 016 // From the Road 018 // A Reading List to Inspire You 020 // Taking Action 022 // Facilitation 411: The Power of One 024 // Sorry, We’re Not Sorry 026 // Busted!

029 // One More Thing

This December, you can join a team of Fraternity & Sorority leaders that will travel to Moore, Oklahoma, to lend their hands, time, experiences, and hearts to a community that is still recovering from the devastation caused by an EF5 tornado that hit their homes and families on May 20.

You can go on the journey of a lifetime to intervene on behalf of a city that is ready to rebuild.

GO ON THE JOURNEY SERVICE IMMERSION TRIP TO MOORE, OKLAHOMA DECEMBER 14-20, 2013 • SIGN UP NOW AT AFLV.ORG

Member / Fraternity Communications Association

AFLV // 001

CONTRIBUTORS Jessica Garber Actual Sorority Move • @actualsorormove • jngarbe@ilstu.edu Jessica Garber is a rising senior at Illinois State University, majoring in English Studies and Political Science. She is a proud member of Alpha Delta Pi Sorority, and currently serves as the Vice President of Scholarship on ISU’s Panhellenic Council. She founded Actual Sorority Move (http://www.actualsororitymove.org) and spoke about the movement at AFLV’s Ignite Fraternity in February. Jessica’s ultimate goal is to obtain her master’s degree in higher education administration and work in the field of student affairs. She never gets tired of discussing the fraternal experience and can be contacted at jngarbe@ilstu.edu.

ONE. It’s the number you probably started with when you learned to count.

It’s probably not the number of colleges to which you applied, but the number to which you ultimately decided to attend. The number of social Greek-letter organizations to which you can hold membership.

Possibly the number of members for which you ultimately joined your organization.

Letter from the Editor

Think about it—when you joined your organization, you probably met a few people before you were offered membership. Maybe even several people. In the case of some chapters, maybe you met a few hundred.

But if you really sit and think about it, who’s the one person that tipped the scales for you? The one person who, if they were not a member, maybe—just maybe—you might not have joined?

That one person and that one invitation to join made a difference in your life. That’s powerful. Many single interactions throughout your life will make a difference for you or someone else. Oftentimes we don’t think about the one single person or reason that makes a big difference for us, and when you make an impact on someone else, you may not realize it either.

Beyond fraternity or sorority membership, one person can make a difference in so many ways. Much of our social progress and change has happened because one person saw a problem and started a movement. The power of one is bigger than what you can do in your chapter, campus, or community.

This issue is dedicated to the many ways one person can make a powerful impact. One model of leadership is about leaving things better than how they were found. I hope this issue challenges you to think about your personal power and how you will use that power to leave your organization in a better condition than it was when you joined.

Editor Connections Magazine @CarolNickoson 002 // connections // 2013 • SUMMER

Matt Deeg Hanover College • @mattdeeg • deeg@hanover.edu Matt Deeg loves working with his fraternity and sorority chapters on campus, but even more, he loves working with the individuals in them, because he believes that personal relationships are key to continuing and transforming our fraternal movement. His favorite way to start a conversation is “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” and his favorite way to end it: “Let’s go do that.”

AFLV STAFF @AFLV • Connections@AFLV.ORG

Not to brag or anything, but AFLV is kind of a big deal when it comes to starting movements in the fraternal world. While we have staff and volunteers that work together to make a difference, we know all too well that it can be difficult to make change happen if you don’t have buy-in from others. So, we’ve described a few ways to get people invested in whatever change you want to make. And why not pay it forward? Once you’re equipped with the tools we’ve provided in this issue, write to us at connections@aflv.org and tell us how you’re planning to make a difference. Your story might appear in a future issue of Connections.

How to Start a Movement Matt Deeg • Hanover College • @mattdeeg

When I was a child, I really enjoyed playing with dominoes. Not the actual, proper way to play; no, I set them up in snake configurations all across the floor and table, climbed them up wooden blocks and ramps, hoping no one would bump them. Then, when the time was right, I’d push just one and watch the whole set tumble in a miraculous symphony of clacks, creating my designed pattern of white and black across the area.

What does this have to do with starting a movement? I think it’s pretty clear. Just as it only takes one domino to begin the domino chain, it only takes one person to begin a movement within our organizations. One person who cares enough and has the guts enough to "fall over" into another and spread their vision and ideas for a movement that will eventually carry through an entire chapter, community, and, maybe, nation.

So, you want to be that domino, right? If you’re reading this or any AFLV publication, I’m assuming you’re ready and willing to step up and lead. With that in mind, let me provide some principles for starting a movement. Many of these come from a favorite TED talk of mine by Derek Sivers.

All movements begin with one person who has a vision and a plan. Like that domino, you need the “guts” to stand out and be the first to topple over, starting the movement. Now, I want you to take a brief moment to think about your vision and plan. Is it too specific, too focused? Is it complicated? A good movement starter knows that in order to grow their movement, they must be doing and advocating something that is easy to follow or join in.

Side note: to give an example of a broad movement, I often share my vision of fraternity life with my students. Over time, it has become extremely simplified down to the following phrase: “I dream that fraternities will be the premiere promoters and developers of life-long values-based leadership, scholarship, and service through meaningful and lasting friendships.” Anyone can play a role in this vision; anyone can find a place they can join (or fall over to continue the movement and domino analogy).

Now that you’ve clarified and simplified your vision, imagine if the domino was all alone and fell over. Of course, it wouldn’t have any impact. There is a lot of power in one person, but you need more members, friends, and compatriots to continue your movement. So, when someone else begins to ask about your vision or what you’re doing, bring them in on it, embrace them as an equal. You might be starting the movement; they help you keep it going. As Derek quips, “That first follower is what transforms a lone nut into a leader.”

Can a movement happen in private? Maybe some of the planning and meetings, but if a movement isn’t public, how can others know to join in? How can you transform that power of one into the effort of many if you don’t show them what is going on?

Back to my dominoes, I never spent hours setting them up just to watch them fall by myself. No! I called my sibling, parents, and friends to see what was going to happen. The power of one brings the effort of many to a movement.

As you bring more people to the movement, you’ll notice that it becomes easier for them to join in. At first (and you know this, you crazy movement starter!), it’s risky to be in a movement, to be a part of change. But, the more people join, the less risky it is, and you can watch what began as one lonely you turn into many pursuing a mutual goal.

A final thought on using your power as one person to start a movement. In the beginning, it will be tough, and getting those first few movement members to join in might be a battle. As you share your thoughts, it must be about the movement, not about you. Begin thoughts about the movement with a phrase similar to “wouldn’t it be great if…” Doing this not only makes the movement less about you, it also allows for your would-be joiners to imagine how your vision might impact them and their role in it. Lastly, it removes the focus from you and continues to keep it on the movement.

In writing this, I think about Actual Sorority Move (#asm), founded

by Jessica Garber, a student at Illinois State University, who had the guts to want a space for students to speak about positive moments in their fraternal experience, seeking to counteract the generally negative tweets on #tfm and #tsm. As one student, she had the guts to stand out, did something easy for folks to join in a public space, encouraged and embraced those that joined her, and is still growing.

All because she embraced her power as one.

There is great power in one. My hope is that you embrace it and seek out opportunities to be that first domino. Craft a vision, share it and enlist others, and bring change to our fraternity and sorority world. There’s nothing more incredible than seeing a design come together all because one domino fell over or one person decided to act. It’s your turn.

REFERENCE: Sivers, D. (2010 Feb.). How to start a movement. Retrieved from http://www. ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_how_to_start_a_movement.html

ACTUAL SORORITY MOVE IT ONLY TAKES ONE

Jessica Garber • Actual Sorority Move • @actualsorormove

ACTUAL SORORITY MOVE

006 // CONNECTIONS // 2013 • SUMMER

As a member of a fraternity or a sorority, you understand that wearing your letters can be one of the best feelings in the entire world.

You know the history of the organization, the commitment you made to your brothers and sisters, and most importantly, the bond you have with them. But, when you wear your letters across your chest, do you ever notice people look at you differently than they normally would? Do you ever feel like you can’t wear them to certain places around campus because of what some professors associate with fraternity and sorority life? Negative stereotypes of fraternity and sorority members are everywhere—depictions of us in movies and on television shows are usually highly distorted, yet this is all the general public knows about fraternity and sorority life. As you very well know, these stereotypical depictions are common and generally created by those who do not understand the fraternal experience.

While I don’t appreciate the negative assumptions, it’s extremely hard to defend fraternity and sorority life when we look at how some of our brothers and sisters are acting. Despite this misrepresentation in movies and TV, I find what some of our own brothers and sisters are doing to our organizations to be much worse.

Our organizations were founded on many amazing principles, and no matter what letters you wear over your heart or what your creed says, we were all founded on brotherhood and sisterhood, scholarship, leadership, and service to others. This means that our organizations were created so that we would have a place to excel beyond the average student—a higher level of scholarship, better communication skills, an innovative leadership style, and many other wonderful attributes. Some of our women’s fraternities were among the earliest, most important part of the feminist movement; in a time when women were barely allowed to attend school, they created secret societies to commit to becoming the very best version of themselves—mind, body, and soul—and risked their entire education to do it. This is what I would like to tell every single person about the fraternal experience, because right now, many people—including some of our own members—do not understand. And I don’t blame them.

Fast forward to modern day: some of our very own members are feeding into the aforementioned stereotypes by binge drinking, hazing, throwing racist-themed mixers, knocking down each other’s morale, and posting about it all on websites such as Total Frat Move and Total Sorority Move (http://www.totalfratmove.com). It was hearing about all of these unfortunate situations in the media that made me totally opposed to going through sorority recruitment when I came to college. I saw all of the sorority girls with their matching shirts, bags, and hair bows, and I was one of the many that just didn’t quite ‘get it.’ My mother was the one who encouraged me to go through sorority recruitment as I struggled emotionally through the darkest portion of my life during my freshman year of college. It was during this time that I wanted and needed a chance to meet new people during the upcoming school year and recruitment offered me a chance for a brand new beginning.

This is what I would like to tell every single person about the fraternal experience, because right now, many people—including some of our own members—do not understand.

And I don’t blame them.

Whenever you ask a sorority woman why she chose to join her specific sorority, different versions of the same cliché answer tend to ring out: “it just fit,” “it felt right,” and the big one—”you just know.”

When this is the advice I received, I was extremely skeptical and remember thinking more specifically “what do you mean you JUST KNOW?’ as if the universe was going to spin around, aligning the stars and hitting me like a ton of bricks. Well needless to say, I visited every chapter on campus, and—surprise—I just knew. Upon receiving a bid from the chapter I fell in love with, I was slowly but surely becoming the world’s biggest hypocrite.

I was initiated and discovered the value of my commitment, my badge, our ritual, and our history. Then comes the part that is difficult to communicate to those not involved in the fraternal experience: that feeling of pride in your organization and how it molds your life into more than you ever thought it could be. And although it’s a difficult sensation to articulate—nothing will change until we speak up. We need to tell the world that we are challenged every day to hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we did even the day before we committed to our organization. We work harder than before to receive higher grades to maintain our membership, we learn to make beneficial and ethical decisions concerning our social life and personal health, and we engage in serving our communities and raising money for philanthropic organizations. Ultimately, we learn how to work with others and be the best teammate we possibly can. We learn that we must love our brothers and sisters even in times when we may find it difficult to even like them, much like a real family.

Having realized this all within only a few weeks after initiation, I started to get very upset with the way in which others view fraternity and sorority life, and that even a few short months before I was so quick to judge it myself. How could I have misjudged something so incredible, and why doesn’t everyone see this experience for what it truly is? Every chance I had to explain the real fraternal experience to someone, I jumped on it immediately. I committed myself to being an advocate to change people’s minds about fraternities and sororities. I would wear letters nearly every day, sit in the front of class, tell people about how I balanced being chapter president, a student in the honors program, volunteering regularly, and holding a part-time job with the Dean of Students office. I couldn’t wait for a new opportunity to completely transform someone’s view of the “sorority girl” and help them to see my sisters and me as sorority women, because there is an important difference between the two. I began to grow disheartened again as I saw fraternity and sorority members on my own campus share TFM and TSM material. It was bad enough that so many unaffiliated members couldn’t see the experience for what it was, but even fellow members of our nationwide community were struggling to grasp the purpose and were failing to appreciate their membership for the right reasons.

In November 2012, I had a class assignment to create a website, and I decided it would be fun to create one that advocates for the sorority experience and combats the negative stereotypes of us in the media, as well as values incongruence within some of our own members. I thought ‘ACTUAL SORORITY MOVE’ (http://www.actualsororitymove.org) would be a fitting title because the content on the site could essentially explain what it actually means to be a sorority woman, rather than what people “totally” think it is. At first, I created the site solely for the class assignment and posted my own content on it in hopes of getting a good grade. But shortly thereafter I started to brainstorm and on a whim emailed about ten Panhellenic Association chapters across the country, telling them about my website and asking them for submissions about what it means to be a sorority woman. I created a Facebook page and Twitter account for the ASM movement, and it started to grow as sisters shared it with each other. My faith was being restored as I started to notice that hundreds, even thousands of sorority women felt the exact same way as I did. Not even a year later, the Facebook page has nearly 1,500 “likes,” the Twitter account is close to 3,000 followers, the website has almost 20,000 hits, and I’ve received submissions from sorority women in over 20 different states, and even from Canada! These submissions are from women who discuss everything from what it means to be a chapter officer, to their chapter having the highest grade point average on campus, or the thousands of dollars they raised for philanthropy, and stories of sisters helping other sisters in times of great need. I wanted ASM to be a place that made sorority women proud of their fraternal identity when they read all of the submissions, and also to inspire any people outside of the fraternity/ sorority community to change their mindset about fraternities and sororities when they see that their affiliated friend shared the status update, tweet, or post on their own profiles.

Newspapers across the country, and local TV and radio stations heard about it and interviewed me, spreading the movement even further, and I couldn’t be happier with the support I’ve received from sisters nationwide. I’ve received at least a dozen letters from sorority women of all ages thanking me for starting something that positively promotes the sorority experience. I started to realize that the effects of creating a simple website extended far beyond myself and my university. In my own mind, I was just creating something to advocate for a cause I was passionate about; I had no idea it would

defend the hearts of so many sisters near and far. As far as the future of ASM goes, I hope it continues to grow through submissions from sorority women across North America and that its effect far outweighs that of Total Frat and Sorority Move, and other negative depictions through media outlets. I plan to start an Actual Fraternity Move section of the site, and post submissions from fraternity men about what the fraternal experience means to them. I aspire to go into student affairs and maintain the site even as I enter the professional world. If I end up becoming a fraternity and sorority life professional, I would love nothing more than to share the movement with my students and have them foster its growth by promoting it on our campus and in their daily lives by speaking up about the true meaning of fraternity, essentially bringing their rituals to life through their every word and action.

I am only one person, one member of the nationwide network of fraternal brothers and sisters, yet one simple idea was able to spark a chain of events that has reached tens of thousands of people. I’m sure not everyone who stumbled across ASM appreciated the concept, but I am confident that they will remember it and think of it when they see someone wearing letters on their own campus. That first step to changing someone’s mind is all I need to feel that a difference is being made. It can be difficult to speak out, especially when you’re doing it alone, but you can never make a difference unless you try. Committing to the fraternal experience doesn’t mean we’re only holding ourselves to a higher standard, it means we’re supposed to do so for our brothers and sisters, too. If you see your brother or sister acting in a way that doesn’t represent our values, call them out on it. Saying “I don’t think that’s how you want people to see our organization” may frustrate them, but they will know you are right in the end. Some of our fellow members have walked all over our founders’ dreams with mud-caked shoes, and it’s time to do something about it. If someone is not willing to represent us in a way that reflects our rituals and values it is our duty to help them understand the effects of their actions, and if our effort is not enough we can kindly show them the door. The fraternal experience isn’t for everyone; it’s a commitment that we must live up to every single day for the rest of our lives, and the weight of that commitment can be too much for people. This commitment doesn’t make us better than anyone, and it doesn’t mean we need to strive for perfection; it only means that we need to do everything in our abilities when we wake up each morning to be a better than we were the day before.

When people don’t understand the purpose of fraternities and sororities, I encourage you to explain it to them, and I assure that you will surprise and enlighten them—an effect that will remain for years to follow. We cannot sit idly by and watch our organizations be trashed via social media and made into negative headlines of national news. The power of our founders’ creation is worth so much more than that, and we owe it to them to revolutionize the fraternal experience so that it is viewed for what it is when it’s done right: the most positive and life-changing experience any man or woman can have in college. I am speaking to students, alumni, and fraternity and sorority professionals when I say this: we are not only the future of our organizations; we are the now. The power of one person to speak up about the fraternal experience is crucial and the effect will be unparalleled. Let that one person be you. #ASM

What strikes us as truly powerful are the deeply passionate, personal testimonials of those who have made a difference. From then 22-year-old Molly Katchpole who started a successful petition to end Bank of America debit card fees to Martin Luther King Jr.’s courageous leadership of the civil rights movement, what helps draw us to these leaders’ causes is the human element they bring through stories of their own experiences.

1

A 2005 study found people give more money to causes when they know about individual victims rather than abstract statistics. As humans, we’re hardwired for storytelling to make sense of the world around us and empathize with others. We want to understand the problems, concerns, and thoughts of other people. We know this as fraternity and sorority leaders who recruit using the power of stories.

Define

how your cause affects people.

4

2

Strategize

Be the person who makes a difference in the world.

amplification of the voice.

3

Create

advocates in elected officials.

When we think about one person making a difference, we often think about highly-publicized or historically relevant stories.

Susan B. Anthony. Harriet Tubman. Mahatma Gandhi. César Chavez. Nelson Mandela. Don’t get us wrong; these people made monumental changes that vastly improved the quality of life for oppressed populations. But just like in government, making a difference on the local level not only improves the community you live in, but it’s much more accessible.

What are you passionate about in your community?

How can you make a difference?

There have been many analyses that show how a story, cause, or movement becomes viral. While it isn’t a guaranteed recipe for success, we’ve combed through the research and analyses to help you refine the human element of your cause and get people on board.

DEFINE HOW YOUR CAUSE AFFECTS PEOPLE What problem do you want to solve? Is it the price of textbooks?

The rise of bullying in public schools? Whatever your cause is, showcase its human element. Then, find a personal story. Whether you’re scouring the interwebs, interviewing your friends, or getting personal, give your cause a voice. For example, if you’re passionate about bullying, find the story of someone who has been bullied and develop an appeal. Think about the journalism questions to help create your storyline. > Who was bullied? Who was the bully? > What happened to the person who was bullied?

Harnessing the Power of One

Google “The power of one person” and you’ll get 634 million results of magazine features, inspirational quotes, YouTube testimonials, book synopses, and questions.

> When was he or she bullied? > Where was this person bullied? How did this community enable the bullying? How was the community affected by the bullying? > Why was this person bullied? > How did it happen? > How did bullying affect this specific person?

How does bullying affect others?

STRATEGIZE AMPLIFICATION OF THE VOICE Find the right media for your stories. Does your cause have highly visual effects? Consider using YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram to showcase the effects of the problem. Does your story have powerful summations of different aspects? Twitter could be a good voice to highlight specific aspects of your cause. Figure out the aspects of your stories with the strongest appeal and use the medium that best highlights those aspects.

Then, figure out how to leverage your networks to push your content. Are you part of a student group that advocates for your cause? Share your stories and content with your friends to add consistency and strength to your message. Are there social media accounts that represent your cause? Share your content with these accounts as well. Additionally, news outlets, particularly in small college towns, receive content from outside sources all the time.

Why not send a press release with a short story and ways people can help the cause?

CREATE ADVOCATES IN YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS Many causes need stronger advocacy through public policy. There are many ways to reach our elected officials. You can contact your congressional representatives’ offices through phone, e-mail, snail mail, and regional offices. Find who represents you in the House of Representatives at www.house.gov/representatives/find/. Two senators represent each state; the Senate directory can be found at www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm. cfm. Each state, county, and city has a directory on its website where you can find contact information for your representatives.

Additionally, the ability to petition has gone online. You can now petition the federal government at petitons.whitehouse.gov.

Change.org is a platform where people can start petitions to make a difference. While change.org is not a government medium, you can use your petition to illustrate the power behind your movement.

While you can lead the movement, you may need to contact those with the power to change the law to make your voice heard.

BE THE PERSON TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE What can you do to help your cause? How can you put in the service (not just philanthropy) to help the people of your movement?

It’s hard to justify why you need other people to get involved if you haven’t done it yourself. You will also empathize much better with those affected if you put in the time and effort to experience their problems. Additionally, your service gives a different aspect to your stories by illustrating how others can get involved and how it affects those who help.

Throughout this issue of Connections, you’ve read how student leaders just like you have made positive changes and started movements in their communities. It’s time for you to act on your passions. What are you going to do with your power? Get out there and show us.

REFERENCES:

Small, D., Loewenstein G., & Slovic, P. (2007). Sympathy and callousness: The impact of deliberative thought on donations to identifiable and statistical victims. Organizational Behavior and Human Hsu, J. (2008, September 18). The Secrets of Storytelling. Scientifc American.

010 // CONNECTIONS // 2013 • SUMMER

Getting Excited About a Goal Even When You Hit Roadblocks ONE GOAL

FIND INSPIRATION

GET EXCITED

You might be trying to do too much. Choose one goal, for now, and focus on it completely.

Read blogs, books, magazines, etc. Google your goal, read success stories.

Talk about it, visualize it, it’s just a matter of carrying that energy forward and keeping it going.

BUILD ANTICIPATION

POST YOUR GOAL

COMMIT PUBLICLY

Set a date in the future — a week or two, or even a month — and make that your Start Date. Mark it on the calendar. Get excited about that date.

Make it a mantra and post it up on your wall, refrigerator, wall, computer desktop. Use big words.

Maybe not in the daily newspaper, but you can do it with friends, family, co-workers, or your blog.

THINK ABOUT IT DAILY

GET SUPPORT

STICK WITH IT

Sending yourself daily reminders. Look at your previously mentioned posting.

Find your support network, either in the real world or online, or both.

Even if you aren’t feeling any motivation today, or this week, don’t give up.

Ride it out.

REALIZE THAT THERE’S AN EBB & FLOW Motivation comes and goes, and comes and goes again. Just remember: when it goes away, it will come back.

012 // CONNECTIONS // 2013 • SUMMER

START SMALL. REALLY SMALL.

BUILD ON SMALL SUCCESSES

Maybe you’re thinking too big. Make a few small, more easily attainable, baby steps to get going again.

Celebrate small wins each time you complete one of those baby steps.

THINK ABOUT BENEFITS, NOT DIFFICULTIES

REPLACE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE ONES

Think about what you (and others) will get receive once you’ve accomplished your goal.

Recognize negative self-talk and stop doing it. Each time you say something negative, say two positive things.

RICK BARNES LIVING THE DREAM OF OUR FOUNDERS • THE EVOLUTION OF LEADERSHIP • LEAD YOUR WAY TO THE TOP! • HAZING: WHEN WILL IT END? • BUILDING THE WHOLE ATHLETE • DRINK THINK: A PERSONAL APPROACH TO ALCOHOL Rick has been a featured speaker on 1,200 college campuses, and students from all corners of the country have called upon Rick to deliver powerful messages in a practical, approachable style. Rick works with so many different groups on a variety of topics: fraternities and sororities, student-athletes, staff, student leaders, first year students and more. His keynotes and workshops emphasize smart decisions and are always upbeat, realistic and honest, and he makes topics like leadership, alcohol, risk management and hazing prevention really fun! Best of all, he treats college students like intelligent adults, and you walk away feeling a bit wiser and more personally responsible for the wellness of your campus community. Bring Rick to your campus this fall!

For more information about Rick and his keynotes for Fraternity and Sorority Life, contact CAMPUSPEAK at (303) 745-5545 or e-mail us at info@campuspeak.com.

See a promotional video of Rick’s keynotes at www.campuspeak.com/barnes.

Taking Action Molly Franco • Missouri State University

“One of the most important things that I have learned is that one member can make a difference, but a community can change lives.“ It is important to view fraternity and sorority Life at any university as a community of members who work together with the purpose of bettering themselves and their institution. Once I stopped looking at myself as just another member, another number in my sorority, I was able to see myself as a member in the community – something that changed my life and helped me grow into a leader I have always wanted to be. In the past year, I have not only become a leader in the fraternity and sorority community at Missouri State University, but I also have learned how important the community is to me and how much it has impacted my college career.

With the help of my fraternity/sorority advisor and graduate assistant, I assumed leadership roles including Greek Week Director, Director of Panhellenic Counselors on the Panhellenic executive board. I most recently was chosen as the fraternity/sorority life intern for the summer.

With the help of others in my community, I created several changes that have positively affected the fraternity/sorority community at Missouri State University. The fraternity and sorority community helped me gain leadership experience, a sense of community and taught me about helping others.

My freshman and sophomore year I mainly stayed close within my sorority; I did not do much in the community outside of my own chapter. Instead, I wanted to do everything I could for my chapter to learn more about fraternity and sorority life at Missouri State. I was excited when I was elected as the Homecoming and Greek Week chair because I knew it would be a lot of work. I was eager to prove to my sisters that I was capable of taking on a large task. Throughout my first year in this position, I met a lot of people outside of my own chapter and got to know more about our fraternity and sorority community. I had such a rewarding time planning Greek Week and Homecoming for my chapter that I decided I wanted a second term. I wanted to be able to work with others, develop my own ideas and work as part of a team. Being elected to the position a second time proved much easier; I had the support of my sisters and the rest of the community, and I saw people working together for a common goal. At t the end of each program, when I would hear the winners, I was so proud to be a member of our community. I could see chapters coming together to form a connection that was not there when the program began.

At the end of my sophomore year I applied to be the next Greek Week Director for the entire community. At first, I was a little timid because I did not know much about the position and I had never been on the committee before. After getting elected by the community, I knew I was ready to take on the job because I had the support of my chapter and the community. This past year, my co-director and I implemented changes to Greek Week in order to better it for the community. The first thing that we wanted to change was the overall purpose of Greek Week; we wanted to change it from a week of competition to a week of giving back to our campus and city community. We wanted to construct a week that everyone would remember and that would shine a positive light on the fraternity and sorority community.

I put Greek Week planning on hold when I became a Panhellenic Counselor (Pi Chi) for recruitment. While being a Pi Chi I got to meet 42 other members of the community and had the chance to meet new members before they joined their chapters. This was a very different experience for me; I had the opportunity to see the other side of recruitment and I enjoyed building relationships with the women on the Panhellenic Council and decided that I wanted to be a member of the council. I wanted to make positive changes to the community, Soon after I was elected to be a part of the Panhellenic Council as the Director of Panhellenic Counselors.

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“

At t the end of each program, when I would hear the winners, I was so proud to be a member of our community.

I could see chapters coming together to form a connection that was not there when the program began.”

Taking Action Instead of conducting weekly training, packed with information in the spring, I changed the program to monthly workshops. I thought that this was more beneficial to the counselors because they had more time to get to know one another and the material so that they were not overwhelmed with an abundance of information. In the fall for Spirit Week, I will coordinate training sessions that will encourage the overall relationship between the Pi Chis and their potential new members. Some of these sessions include: sensitivity workshops, ways to utilize icebreakers, and leadership development skills. Missouri State has moved to a values-based recruitment and I believe by utilizing these training sessions the Pi Chis will be able to have an improved relationship with potential new members and be better able to explain the importance of their fraternal values during recruitment.

We also wanted to promote academics throughout the week.

As a reminder of the importance of academics several council members were positioned at different locations on campus one morning of Greek Week, giving out doughnuts to members of the fraternity and sorority community as they went to class. After speaking with the NPHC, IFC and PHA councils, we decided it would be best to not allow socials during Greek Week to continue to emphasize academics. Both of these ideas were acknowledged by the community for helping ensure the promotion of scholarship during Greek Week.

As soon as recruitment was over I dove back into Greek Week. My co-director and I spent many hours trying to structure the perfect week everyone would remember. There were several things we changed in order “Thanks to the to make the focus of the week on fraternity & sorority community. We wanted these changcommunity on my es to make Greek Week a more posicampus, over the last tive experience for not only the fraternity and sorority community, but three years I have for the Missouri State and Springfield grown into the communities. A small change was student that I have renaming the term for groups of fraalways wanted to be. ternities and sororities paired for the activities of the week, “pairings”) to One of the most “teams” in order to promote teamimportant things that work and working together toward a common objective.

Greek Week was a huge success. The community raised $1,500.00 for Rare Breed, an organization that supports teenagers who are homeless. The director of Rare Breed attended our annual Greek Jam and spoke to the community about how much we impacted the lives of the teenagers they support Throughout the week, the community also participated in a week-long canned food drive, resulting in 24,000 cans being donated to a local food pantry. We were thrilled with the amount of food that we were able to donate. At the end of the week, I was so proud of what the fraternity and sorority community accomplished. As a community we successfully donated money, canned goods and an abundant number of service hours to the Springfield and Missouri State community, while focusing on academics the entire week. I truly believe that this week helped members of our community realize that giving back to our community is more important than the competition aspect. I gained the most satisfaction from the week when people were more excited when they won chapter of the year over the overall winners of Greek Week.

I have learned is that one member can make a difference, but a community can change lives.”

Another change was the implementation of a community service race over an entire month. We urged the teams to put in as many community service hours during the month as they could. We added a philanthropy event in which we voted on an organization, as a community, that would benefit from the money raised.

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A final change we implemented was adding an educational speaker as an event for Greek Week. We invited Lori Hart to present her “Making Greek Great” program. We had outstanding student attendance with the audience interacting with the speaker.

Thanks to the fraternity and sorority community on my campus, over the last three years I have grown into the student that I have always wanted to be. I have learned how to become a leader and accomplish things that I never thought possible, like donating canned goods to an organization in need, or raising funds for teenagers who have nothing. I learned that together a community can accomplish many things. Without the help of other members in the community, I would have never been able to achieve these accomplishments. The concept of community is very important to me and it has taught me much throughout my college career. One of the most important things that I have learned is that one member can make a difference, but a community can change lives.

FR OM THE RO AD sorority woman counters #TFM with #ASM

FOOTBALL SLEEPING IN SATURDAYS AREN’T JUST FOR STUDYING ANYMORE. PARTIES WORKING OUT GIRLFRIENDS CHAPTER MEETINGS TAILGATING CATCHING UP

CELEBRATING THE ARRIVAL OF ACTUAL SORORITY MOVE TFM, or totalfratmove.com, is a website that emphasizes and exaggerates negative fraternity stereotypes. The website portrays fraternity men as hegemonic, promiscuous, and misogynistic and celebrates a hypermasculine lifestyle.

The sorority equivalent to TFM is TSM, total sorority move.

To combat the negative stereotypes embodied by TFM and TSM, Jessica Garber created ASM, actualsororitymove.com.

Jessica Garber joined Alpha Delta Pi because she was drawn to the organization’s three pillars: sisterhood, scholarship, and service. Since joining, her grades improved and she gained transferable skills by serving in various chapter and community leadership positions. Becoming a sorority woman has made Jessica a better person. “It’s changed who I am, as a friend, as a student, even as a daughter,” Jessica explained in STATEside, a blog of Illinois State University.

Jessica started actualsororitymove.com as part of a class assignment. She wanted to combat the negative stereotypes by showcasing and celebrating the contributions and successes of sorority women. Posts include statements such as “We gain professional experience; running a chapter is very similar to managing a small corporation #ASM” and “40 sisters from our Kappa Delta chapter at Towson University made Dean’s List and 7 of those [women] earned 4.0s!! #ASM.” Jessica has since expanded ASM to facebook and twitter, where other collegiate and alumnae are adding their own stories of what it means to be a sorority woman. One alumna posted: “@actualsorormove Attending the @AlphaDeltaPi Grand Convention...this will be convention #11.” The facebook page has over 1,400 likes and the twitter handle has close to 2,900 followers since their inception earlier this year.

The creation of ASM is a great example of one person seeing a problem and choosing to make a difference. How will you make a difference?

YOU CAN READ THE FULL ARTICLE AT: http://stories.illinoisstate.edu/2013/03/magazine/illinois-state/stateside/students-web-project-takes-aim-at-sorority-stereotypes/

You can contribute your own ASM posts by interacting with ASM on facebook or twitter. facebook.com/ActualSororityMove twitter.com/actualsorormove or @actualsorormove 018 // CONNECTIONS // 2013 • SUMMER

Tri Delta chapter raises $42,000 for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital After writing more than 4,200 letters and organizing several philanthropic events, the University of Oregon chapter of the Delta Delta Delta Fraternity is proud to announce it raised $42,000 toward its national philanthropy: St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. According to an article in the Daily Emerald, the student newspaper of the University of Oregon, the chapter hosted an all-you-can-eat dessert sale, a letter-writing campaign, and a carnival to raise money for St. Jude.

These efforts and the support of other sororities and fraternities at the institution enabled the women of Tri Delta to exceed their fundraising goal of $40,000.

According to the national website, Tri Delta has supported St. Jude since 1999. Through Tri Delta’s philanthropic efforts, St. Jude was able to construct a teen room in the hospital. Recently, Tri Delta has taken on a more aggressive goal of raising $15 million in five years for the Specialty Clinic in the Patient Care Center. Tri Delta’s philanthropic efforts show the tremendous impact one can achieve when people unite for a common cause.

YOU CAN READ THE FULL ARTICLE AT: http://dailyemerald.com/2013/06/06/greek-delta-delta-delta-sorority-raises-42000-for-st-judes-childrens-hospital/

SATURDAYS ARE FOR MAKING A DIFFERENCE ON OCTOBER 26TH, MILLIONS OF VOLUNTEERS WILL UNITE TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF OTHERS IN THEIR COMMUNITIES. FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN JOIN THE ACTION AT THE 23RD ANNUAL MAKE A DIFFERENCE DAY, THE NATION’S LARGEST DAY OF COMMUNITY SERVICE. GO TO AFLV.ORG TO FIND OUT HOW AFLV IS CONNECTING YOU TO EVENTS & ORGANIZATIONS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE EVERY DAY, OR TO SIGN UP! AFLV // 019

One Person Can Make a Difference: An Inspirational Reading List Same Kind of Different as Me

by Ron Hall & Denver Moore The unlikely friendship between an art dealer and a homeless man began with an introduction at a soup kitchen. As the friendship grew, so did the recognition of similarities between the two men.

In the face of hardship, the one who had been served became the one who was a source of stability. Everybody was changed.

Middle of Everywhere

by Mary Pipher Pipher tells the stories of various refugee families she meets in the heartland of America and what she learns about the challenges they face when they reach the States. Her desire to know their story leads to a desire to help them navigate the throws of government aid, the excessive selection of unfamiliar foods in American grocery stores, and which mail pieces are important and which ones are junk. Pipher's assistance helps the families and their stories motivate her.

Irresistible Revolution

by Shane Claiborne Claiborne has strong opinions about how the outcasts of society should be treated. In this book, he shares stories about how he has chosen to live out those opinions by entering the world of those he seeks to serve and living there full time. It is in that context that he and those who join his cause experiment with a variety of ways to meet needs.

From wasted food to urban gardens, from homemade clothes to a new way of paying for medical care, he tackles social justice issues head on.

“

I am only one, but still I am one.

I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

Three Cups of Tea

Helen Keller

Source: www.unitedway.org

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by Greg Mortenson What began as a backpacking adventure morphed into a quest to build schools for children in remote villages of Pakistan. Mortenson had no experience as a teacher and no background in building schools, but conversations with village leaders over the traditionally hospitable cups of tea lit a fire in him that changed everything.

Most change agents aren’t super heroes, and many never get to see the fruits of their hard work.

FACILITATION 411: THE POWER OF ONE

But all real change agents have one thing in common: they will work tirelessly to start conversations that require a better future.

Noun: A state formally cooperating with another for a military or other purpose, typically by treaty; Verb: Combine or unite a resource or commodity with (another) for mutual benefit.

LEADER

The person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country; A person followed by others.

CHANGE AGENT

A person who acts as a catalyst for change.

LEARNING OBJECTIVE

WHAT TO DO: DISCUSSION

Students will understand the power one person can make by discussing how to make a difference within their organizations and community. Meeting with other leaders and members of the fraternity and sorority community will create a consortium of ideas and give them a variety of perspectives. Looking back at history and discussing the impact that individuals have had on our world will give the students an opportunity to identify how they can become change agents within their own lives and the lives of others.

Identify areas of need in your community (fraternal community or college/university community).

The leaders of the fraternity and sorority community will leave the session understanding how their organizations can create change within a campus, university, or city. Students will also understand the power of building allies motivated towards the same goal. One is powerful, but the power of one with an army behind him or her can make significant change.

FACILITATOR CONSIDERATIONS Students participating should be motivated about bettering the community and making a difference. They don’t necessarily have to be elected leaders, but they have to be willing to get involved.

While facilitating discussion, ask the tough questions and challenge answers that maintain the status quo (i.e. is one service project once a semester really making a difference?).

Encourage students to take initiative and be open about their opinions.

HOW TO GET STARTED Gather students from all councils and chapters. Students can be leaders in the community (presidents, council members, etc.) and/or younger and newer members.

ROOM SET-UP One large circle of chairs or 2-3 smaller circles of chairs

GROUP SIZE One large group or smaller groups of 10-14 depending on total group size

ACTIVITY TIMING Discussion: 30-45 minutes total

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ALLY

The power of one can have both positive and negative effects. Have you ever had any negative experiences with a leader? Any positive experiences?

How do you create allies to strive for the same goals?

Do you need to be in a leadership role or elected position to make an impact?

How do you make a difference within your own chapter/organization?

How does the fraternity and sorority community make a difference?

What are some of the outcomes from philanthropy and community service projects your organization has executed?

How can you empower others to become your allies make a difference?

What to do: Activities

Plan a short service project and discuss the outcomes of each individual’s activities.

Each student/small group gives a short presentation on the change one individual made (famous, historical or otherwise).

Plan a Pay It Forward day on your campus (http://payitforwardday. com/)

PLANS FOR SUCCESS Students should be ready and willing to participate in the discussion.

Students that are forced to be there may not buy in to the ideas and the discussion. Be prepared to engage those students especially.

ASSESSMENT After the discussion and activity, ask the students for feedback regarding both. Be sure to ask for positive areas and areas that may need improvement for the future.

For all the bad press fraternities usually get, most people don’t think of us as values-based organizations, or even really as good people.

However, a new study finds fraternity men have lower levels of hyper-masculinity (defined as “an exaggerated adherence to traditional male gender role beliefs”), a predictor of sexual aggression. While sexually aggressive attitudes still existed among fraternity men, these attitudes were found in statistically significantly higher rates among unaffiliated male students.

Nevertheless, our work is not done.

We know it and you know it.

Stories like the “No means yes! Yes means anal!” chants from a fraternity at Yale University, the fraternity “rape factory” claims at Wellesley University, and the email from a fraternity at USC straight up calling women “targets” show that in terms of behavior and image, we have a long way to go. In fact, we are willing to bet that there are hundreds of other stories about “slam pieces” and walks of shame that are shared each week in jest among fraternity men. While these are not headline worthy, these conversations contribute just as much, if not more, to the negative image of fraternity men and detract from creating a safe and healthy environment.

But, as we know and the study cites, we are making progress with our educational initiatives. More chapters and councils are sponsoring and partnering with other organizations and offices on campus to provide programming covering sexual consent, assault, and alcohol abuse. Programs and initiatives like Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, No Woman Left Behind, and Men Can Stop Rape are opportunities in which our members participate and even initiate on many campuses. This study even suggested fraternities’ current programming and education be extended to all males on campus.

Fraternity men and fraternity/sorority communities are striving for progress. We’re not where we need to be YET, but that’s basically the definition of “progressing.” We applaud the efforts being made in our communities, and we challenge ALL communities to keep reaching. As fraternity men, we can serve as leaders and role models to all students in our campus communities by continuing to promote safe and healthy lifestyles.

We’re not trying to beat our chests or anything, but sorry we’re not sorry that our fraternity men are striving for a higher standard.

REFERENCE:

Grasgreen, A. (July 8, 2013). Greeks as Role Models. Retrieved from http://www.insidehighered.com/ news/2013/07/08/hypermasculinity-sexual-aggression-link-non-fraternity-members-points-need-broader

Sorry,

we’re not sorry!

This is a shout out to fraternal members, chapters, councils, or communities that have opted to do the right (albeit unpopular) thing. These people have stood for what they believe in - their fraternal values - despite the fear or reality of being ostracized or ridiculed. You’ve heard the saying “what’s popular is not always right and what’s right is not always popular.” It’s the truth.

These people have got guts; they’ve owned their values.

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Not often do you see someone courageous enough to stand up for what they believe is right, even when their beliefs may go against the sacred bond of sisterhood. In April of 2010 the Psi chapter of Sigma Sigma Sigma Sorority at Marshall University was busted by one of their very own. One Tri-Sigma sister, Sarah Frances Lyon, upon walking into the Tri-Sigma house on campus to meet up with a friend noticed a few things that did not sit right with her. For one, there were open beer cans as well as unopened cases of beer around the house and inside many different bedrooms. She also saw men from a fraternity on campus sleeping in beds with the Tri-Sigma members.

Conduct Unbecoming

of a Sister WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?

According to their national mission statement, the Sigma Sigma Sigma Sorority “exists to provide a lifelong sorority experience for women through ensuring a perpetual bond of friendship, developing a strong womanly character, and promoting high standards of ethical conduct.” It is really hard to argue that drinking alcohol and having co-ed sleepovers develops a strong womanly character and this behavior went against what Sarah believed to be appropriate. Sarah Lyon chose to hold her chapter to high standards of ethical conduct when she spoke to the chapter president about the behavior she witnessed went against these high standards as well as the house and campus rules. She maturely spoke to the president of the chapter about how she felt this behavior was wrong and went against what the sorority stood for, however instead of being taken seriously she was essentially ridiculed by the entire chapter.

The chapter president asked many members of the sorority to write a paper titled ‘How I currently feel about the chapter’ then chose Sarah’s paper out of all of them to read aloud in front of the chapter, purposely humiliating Sarah. We think Sarah should have been rewarded for speaking out against the chapter’s actions that were misaligned with the mission of the sorority; however this was clearly not the case. Sarah was accused of “conduct unbecoming of a sister” and was brought to the chapter’s honor council four times. Because the issue was not resolved by the sorority sisters writing a paper about how they feel about the sorority, this conflict made its way to court and was not resolved until June 2013, a little over three years after the initial incident.

Busted!

Stupid Things That You Have Done Lately The goal of Busted! is to call attention to an event, situation, or practice that has actually occurred and utilize it as an experience that others can learn from. Actions such as these do nothing but reinforce the negative stereotypes of today’s fraternities and sororities.

Embarrassed? Then knock it off.

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While the actions of Sarah Frances Lyon should be commended, the actions of another sorority woman - the now-infamous Delta Gamma member from the University of Maryland - should be avoided. This DG sister wrote a ridiculous email to her sisters claiming they were awkward and boring and socialized too much with each other instead of fraternity men at recent social events.

Although her letter has passionate language in the form of 41 Fbombs, her targeted sisters hardly deserved such a condescending allegation. The author of the email spoke as though her chapter committed a heinous crime that went against everything their organization stood for; however that was not the case. The power one woman can have on an organization is incredible, especially when she goes against the norm and stands up for what she believes in. Let these stories of the courageous Sarah Frances Lyon and the misguided Delta Gamma sister serve as a valuable lesson to all Greek members so that you don’t your chapter Busted! for all the wrong reasons.

REFERENCES: Asbury, K. (2013, June 21). Sorority girls resolve court dispute. WVRecord.com Retrieved June 24, 2013 from: http://wvrecord.com/news/s-4021-cabell-county/260702sorority-girls-resolve-court-dispute Goldstein, S. (2013, April 24). University of Maryland sorority member shows she’s a ‘mean girl’ in nasty, scathing email to her sisters. NYDailyNews.com Retrieved June 24, 2013 from: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/real-life-girlsends-nasty-email-sorority-sisters-article-1.1326651

National Hazing Prevention Week September 23-27, 2013

KNOW. DECIDE. ACT. Only YOU can prevent hazing.

National Hazing Prevention Week is September 23-27, 2013, but HazingPrevention.Org encourages campuses and organizations to observe it any time it fits best within their schedules. And while it’s officially just a week, hazing prevention is a daily, year-round task for everyone.

The NHPW website offers tons of ideas, resources to guide activities, great products you can order, contests you can enter to win cash prizes and online nominations for the Hank Nuwer Anti-Hazing Hero Awards to recognize those who have stood up to hazing. Don’t just use the website for a week.

Use it 365 days a year and help HPO empower people to prevent hazing.

www.NationalHazingPreventionWeek.com HazingPrevention.Org is a partner with Gordie’s Call which observes Gordie Day on the Thursday during National Hazing Prevention Week. Visit www.gordiescall.org for more information. HazingPrevention.Org and National Hazing Prevention Week are also part of the National Campus Safety Awareness Month collaboration. For more information, visit www.strongvoicescampaign.org.

{ }

one more { thing we know you’re near the end, but we’d love to tell you

FIVE ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR INFLUENCING & PERSUADING OTHERS

before you go and look at the back cover of the mag.

1 2 3 4 5

IT’S ABOUT THEM, NOT YOU

Strive to understand before being understood. Why would another person be influenced by you? It is not always about how good you are at persuasion; think first about what others want and how they would want to be influenced.

Note: Persuasion is NOT manipulation. Don’t take advantage of others.

CREDIBILITY MATTERS – A LOT

There’s a lot of competition out there as well as a lot of knowledge. Authenticity and credibility must rank high on your persuasion plans. Why would anyone listen to you?

Credibility is a must for effective persuasion and influence. Are you knowledgeable enough to persuade others to act according to your idea?

Note: A leadership title does not equal credibility.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY

Even if others are ready to listen, poor communicate can lead to less than desirable results. How effectively you persuade others depends a lot on the power of your communication skills. Polish your soft skills and learn the art of tact before you walk the path of influencing others.

Note: Being good and being effective in communication are two different things.

LISTEN FIRST

Influence and persuasion are not a one way street. Listening and knowing the receiving audience is essential. Remember, body language says a lot about how you finally get persuasion and influence to work.

Note: Listen, don’t just hear. Listeners are open to changing and altering their plan.

PRACTICE IN REAL & HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS

Persuasion takes practice and experience before you can master the act. Practice and rehearse how you will present the situation and create all possible “or-if” possibilities and how to best present your proposal which is mutually beneficial.

Note: Be authentic. Nobody likes salespeople.

Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values PO Box 1576 Fort Collins, CO 80522-1576

TOO BAD. YOU’RE OUT OF LUCK. BEARS AREN’T OUR GAME. LEADERSHIP IS. But if you want to learn to lead your campus, empower your leadership team, and transform your community, then mark your calendar & attend one of the most powerful student leadership events of 2014.

AFLV Central Fraternal & National Black Greek Leadership Conference: February 6-9, 2014 / Indianapolis, IN AFLV West Fraternal & National Cultural Greek Leadership Conference: April 10-13, 2014 / San Diego, CA