Connections Spring 2009

CONNECTIONS the MAGAZINE

of MGCA

INSIDE > A SEXUALLY EMPOWERED CULTURE > SHATTERING THE SILENCE > 5 ways to maximize your greek experience > cultivating future growth > taking action: emerging leaders

X E S E TH AND BODY IMAGE ISSUE VOL. 2 / ISSUE 006 / SPRING 2009

the inside starts here FEATURES 006 // contributing to a sexually empowered culture / kelly addington & becca tieder 010 // shattering the silence of sexual violence / angela rose, laura l. dunn & gina bartucci 014 // men: obesity & body image / jamie olson 017 // disordered eating & body image: the scary truth / debra cooper 022 // taking action: a new focus / katie mcwain

COLUMNS 002 // letter from the executive director 002 // letter from the editor 018 // facilitation 411 / campus scorecard 020 // from the road 023 // tips for a more healthy body image 024 // ask the experts 026 // busted!

028 // the wall

the Association of Fraternity Leadership and Values: Bringing focus to campus leadership.

Coming this Spring AFLV.org

Connections is the official publication of the Mid-American Greek Council Association. The views expressed by contributors, authors and advertisers are not necessarily those of the Association.

MGCA encourages the submission of content to: Lea Hanson Director of Publications publications@mgca.org Submit advertising queries to: Mark Koepsell Executive Director mark@mgca.org 970/372.1174 888/855.8670 info@mgca.org

Connections is published four times each year.

Submission Deadlines: Summer 2009 – Engaging Alumni: June 29 Fall 2009 – Risk Management: September 1 Winter 2010 – Working with Advisors: December 1 Spring 2010 – Green Initiatives: February 22 Send address corrections to: Mid-American Greek Council Association 420 South Howes Bldg B; Suite 200 Fort Collins, CO 80524 970/372.1174 888/855.8670 info@mgca.org

Layout & Design Steve Whitby / Warehouse 242 swhitby@mac.com

Editorial Board Andrea Battaglia / Drury University Will Foran / North-American Interfraternity Conference Jenni Glick / Northwestern University Carol Preston / Ohio University Andy Robison / Purdue University

Member / Fraternity Communications Association

MGCA // 001

1. We WILL continue to host regional conferences. The value of the individual region based meetings is an important piece of delivering resources and education to our members. The AFLV Central Fraternal Leadership Conference will happen in conjunction with the National Black Greek Leadership Conference in St. Louis next February. The AFLV West Fraternal Leadership Conference will happen in conjunction with the National Cultural Greek Leadership Conference in Los Angeles next April. We will also continue to produce the National House Director Conference each summer.

2. The synergized existence of the new Association will allow us to provide more resources to our members. Watch for new things headed your way over the next year including print and electronic resources. One of our goals is to provide year round support to our members. Part of this vision will be fulfilled through our continued production of Connections Magazine. Other efforts are underway to further enhance the resources provided through the conferences and the magazine.

3. A new improved and more robust web experience is headed our way. We are deep in the process of developing www.aflv.org. This website will provide a more enhanced member experience including on-line profiles for member institutions and a members only section where we will provide a greater expanse of knowledge and communication. Also included will be jobs.aflv.org, our online Career Center geared to aid in the process of matching graduate students, professionals, and House Directors with available job opportunities within the fraternal market.

One of the pieces we do not want to lose sight of is that AFLV is YOUR Association. It can only be successful if you believe in and find value in what it has to offer. Do you have ideas about what resources and/ or services you would like to see? Email those to me at mark@mgca. org. I look forward to hearing from you and to working with all of our members as we move forward with this very exciting and transformative opportunity.

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“Lea was wondering when those glorious photos from the 90’s would make their way to Facebook.”

This was my Facebook status about a week ago when a high school classmate posted photos from the slideshow that was used at our ten-year reunion. My first reaction when I saw that I had been tagged in these photos was embarrassment. I actually wrote the comment, “Gross!” on one of them and seriously considered removing the tags on a few of the shots that most accurately illustrated my curled bangs, flannel shirts, and velour formal wear. The next day, I felt sad and a little disgusted with myself for being so critical of my teenage body and it made me reflect on my own sense of body image and identity… It’s bad enough to struggle with feeling not pretty/thin/sexy enough in terms of our current appearance, but to feel bad about how we looked 5, 10, or 20 years ago is another!

College campuses today are plagued with issues – and some of the ones that we don’t talk about as often (sex and body image, for example) are addressed in this issue of Connections. People have a tendency to shy away from having honest and direct conversations about uncomfortable topics. Even worse, many of the toughest issues that we face are deemed to be “personal” or “private” by society and, therefore, we are encouraged to keep our mouths shut and our thoughts to ourselves.

Enough! Let’s start the dialogue and embrace our troubles, imperfections, and skeletons… the reality is, everyone has a story to tell.

Letter from the Editor

Letter from the Executive Director

Attention Readers: THIS IS THE LAST ISSUE OF MGCA CONNECTIONS! Well...that may be a bit misleading. This IS the last issue of Connections that will be printed under the banner and direction of the MidAmerican Greek Council Association. Connections WILL continue as the quarterly publication of the newly consolidated organization known as The Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values (AFLV).

As was announced at both the MGCA and WRGA Annual Leadership Conferences; as of July 1, 2009, MGCA along with the Western Region Greek Association (WRGA) will operate as the new combined Association.

I think the question I get most often about this consolidation is “what exactly does that mean for the members?” Here are a few bullet points that should help explain the new Association structure:

So, while I am finding a place of peace with my braces (yes, with teal rubber bands), fluffy bangs, and floral dresses, I hope that as a community, we can support the things that are ACTUAL PROBLEMS in our chapters and communities – eating and anxiety disorders, body image, sexual victimization, to name just a few.

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CONTRIBUTORS everyone’s having fun.

But is everyone safe?

Introducing

Ladder of rIsk: Campus edItIon A new Campuspeak Interactive Workshop that gets all chapters on the same page about risk management and safer event planning.

One of the most important elements for successful Greek

•

Created by Dr. Lori Hart Ebert

•

4 hour interactive workshop

•

One CAMPUSPEAK facilitator provided

•

Social Event Planning Guide provided

•

Comprehensive FIPG discussion

•

For men’s and women’s groups

•

Clarifies BYOB and third-party vender policies

•

Chapter advisor involvement encouraged

organizations is their ability to provide for the safety of their members and guests. By special arrangement with Pi Kappa Phi Fraternity, Ladder of Risk: Campus Edition is the best way for chapter presidents, social chairs, risk managers, chapter advisers and regular members to better understand smart risk management procedures, including an intensive look into compliant social event planning.

Aided by a visual presentation, our facilitator helps students understand the fundamentals of FIPG-compliant event planning.

If risk management is one of your top community priorities, call now to book this exciting and informative workshop!

BECCA TIEDER & KELLY ADDINGTON

ANGELA ROSE

DEBRA COOPER

JAMIE OLSON

Becca Tieder & Kelly Addington Speakers, Authors, Activists and Co-Founders • Unite for Change rebeccastieder@hotmail.com • kellyraeaddington@yahoo.com Becca Tieder and Kelly Addington keep it real… which is lucky for us, since the topics of sex and sexuality can be pretty complicated discussions. Although sex and sexuality are still taboo subjects for some of us, these ladies are perfectly comfortable writing an article that contains the word ‘sex’ almost 70 times (not to mention ‘penis’, ‘vagina’ AND ‘cooter’). Even though Becca and Kelly approach the subject of sexual empowerment with humor and a little light-heartedness, this article is anything BUT light in content while they address the issues of sexual assault, homophobia, and, the infamous ‘walk of shame’.

ANGELA ROSE • Founder and Executive Director • PAVE angela@pavingtheway.net Angela Rose is not only a brave survivor of sexual assault, but an entrepreneur who has built an entire profession around helping others do the same thing. Rose notes that sexual violence is not a personal issue that should be dealt with quietly, but a community issue that should be tackled with education, outreach and loud voices! Rose tells us that we all must work together to end sexual violence so ‘victims’ can be ‘thrivers’ instead.

DEBRA COOPER • Remuda Ranch Programs for Eating and Anxiety Disorders debra.cooper@remudaranch.com Debra Cooper knows a thing or two about disordered eating. While it’s no secret that we live in a society that encourages us to have perfect bodies, what does that mean… and more importantly, is it even possible? Cooper reminds us that women are no longer the only victims to eating and anxiety disorders and children, yes children, are being struck as young as the age of six. The title of the article, “The Scary Truth” is right on as far as we are concerned… and even if you feel as though you’ve heard it all before, this one is a must read and an excellent addition to your ‘toilet talk’ or ‘potty postings’ library.

JAMIE OLSON • Director of Chapter Services • Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity jameso@sam.org Jamie Olson is here to remind men that body image is not a women’s issue. If you think women are the only people who get slammed by the media to be thinner and more beautiful, you’re wrong. Olson’s article addresses weight and obesity and targets a few of its most common culprits: drinking and depression and notes the importance of student leaders and peers, not just our campus administrators and advisors, watching out for our brothers’ health.

For more information, contact Tim Samp, CAMPUSPEAK Interactive Workshops Coordinator at (303) 745-5545 or samp@campuspeak.com. www.campuspeak.com

Mention this ad in MGCA Connections before May 1 to receive our limited time introductory rate.

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Sexual empowerment- noun;

Scene: Car at Look Out Point.

Stars are twinkl ing, music on th e radio.

There’s an attrac tive couple in th e back seat.

As things heat up ....

a state of being fully confident in who you are and what you stand for so that you can make healthy and fulfilling sexual choices while respecting the choices of others.

Him: Oh baby Her: Mmmmm Him: You know I want you so bad.

Him: Baby?

Her: Mmmmm.

Him: Let me show you how much I lo ve you.

Her: I don’t know baby.

Him: Oh, I know.

Him: You know I love you right?

Her: Of course, I’m just not sure .

Him: Don’t you fe el it?

Doesn’t it just feel right?

Her: I guess, I don’t know.

Do you really th ink we are ready?

Him: I know it.

In our decade of work to end sexual violence we have learned that the key to effective prevention is sexual empowerment. Our work gives us the opportunity to speak with thousands of college students each year on campuses throughout the country, many of whom are Greek. As Greek women, we feel a bond with our fraternal brothers and sisters and while feeling some love for our homeboys and girls is great, the real reason we love talking with Greek students is because we know that as leaders you have an opportunity to influence positive change.

Contributing to a Sexually Empowered Culture

by Kelly Addington & Becca Tieder / Unite for Change

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MGCA // 007

There are three things sexual empowerment can and will do for you. First of all, it will enable you to safely communicate your wants, needs and expectations to help reduce if not eliminate acquaintance rape. Secondly, it will help you connect more deeply and honestly with your partner(s) even if you choose to abstain from sex. Finally, it will help break down the sexually oppressive culture we are all immersed in which includes gender stereotypes and social language of sexual intimacy. As a bonus, sexual empowerment will ultimately help us all have better sexual relations.

It is our belief that when students shift to a sexually empowered culture it can and will end the majority of acquaintance rape in a campus community. To do so we need to understand and be frank with ourselves about where the cracks in our sexual foundation lie and how to fix them.

Cultural Crisis One –Gender Stereotypes Males and females are receiving negative, culturally bound, oppressive images of sex and gender roles before they are even old enough to identify them. Even some PG rated movies and after school specials are offenders.

Think about every sexual scenario you have seen played out on the big or small screen. It often follows the same bad pattern and same bad dialogue and it goes a little something like this. (*for this scenario we are using a heterosexual couple, it is however representative of a similar struggle for all partnerships.)

Scene: Car at Look Out Point. Stars are twinkling, music on the radio.

There’s an attractive couple in the back seat. As things heat up....

Him: Oh baby Her: Mmmmm Him: You know I want you so bad.

Him: Baby?

Her: Mmmmm.

Him: Let me show you how much I love you.

Her: I don’t know baby.

Him: Oh, I know.

Him: You know I love you right?

Her: Of course, I’m just not sure.

Him: Don’t you feel it? Doesn’t it just feel right?

Her: I guess, I don’t know. Do you really think we are ready?

Him: I know it.

is coercion, which also happens to be a felony in most states. Because of how many of us were raised, we are getting the message that coercion is common sexual practice. Imagine if we entered sexual situations with a level playing field; if both partners were confident enough to express their wants and needs. Think of how much more fulfilling, less confusing and emotionally damaging sex could be for all our brothers and sisters!

Too often men are afraid to be a part of the solution or even the discussion as they think they will be considered either the rapists or sissies for caring.

Women often tell us they feel like addressing sexual violence paints them as either victims or man haters. Putting our men and women at such opposing ends of the spectrum makes finding a place where we can be honest with ourselves and one another almost impossible. If we reject the negative and immerse ourselves in the empowering we can and will meet in the middle and create change.

Cultural Crisis Number Two –Stopping Many rape survivors said they believed it was physically impossible to stop a sex act once it had started. However, nothing could be further from fact.

Sometimes it’s really hard, but not impossible.

What to do?

To illustrate we want you to imagine this scenario. You have finally met your perfect partner. For this exercise let’s call them, Toni/y. You and Toni/y are having the most rocking, consensual, sexual relations. You and Toni/y have the kind of chemistry that most of us only dream about. But make no mistake you and Toni/y are so much more than your physical connection alone. You two actually talk during the day so it’s what is more commonly referred to as a “relationship” in college. Beyond the chemistry, you share interests, similar ideology, etc. Your values complement one another. This is the real deal. So you take the plunge and bring them home to meet the folks. Everyone is getting along. Your family has managed not to embarrass you past the acceptable threshold. Toni/y seems to be surviving the whole deal. Life is good.

However at about the 36 hour mark, you start to get twitchy and are longing for a little alone time with Toni/y. Now when you are at school, in your dorm or apartment, you and Toni/y can express your affection for one another as you desire whenever you desire. But, at your mom’s crib? Not so much. However, you begin to notice your mom packing up for the grocery store. You know your mom is going to be out for a solid hour, perhaps an hour a half and you look at Toni/y and think, we are going to knock this out twice, three times if we are lucky. As soon as your mom hits the button to close to garage door you and Toni/y are on it like white on rice. Totally consensual, hot, passionate, electric sex, however you choose to define it.

Flip the switch. Talk about sex in the same voice with both genders. Encourage a healthy sexual identity based on maturity, confidence and the individual. Use bad scenes like steamy windows at Look Out Point as teaching tools and conversation starters.

Sexual empowerment is a critical tool in preventing sexual assault, starting with but not limited to our talk about coercion. A repeated request for sex

Nice.

So nice.

One of the things we love most about your mom (sorry to bring her up while you are thinking about hot, consensual sex) is that mama knows the value of a dollar and she forgot the fat stack of coupons she usually takes with her to the store.

Though obviously a dramatization, look deeper into the gender stereotypes portrayed. First of all, why do we always see men initiating sex? Why is that the only way it is socially acceptable? The majority of the time if a woman is portrayed as the instigator she is a prostitute looking for clients, an exotic dancer, or some other version of the sinning sister.

We have already damaged what needs to be a level playing field. It sends the message to our boys that if they do not always want sex, if they do not pursue it, there is something wrong with them. On the flip side, our girls grow up feeling guilty if they are sexually curious; convinced that only “bad” girls initiate sex.

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Ouch.

At any age and in any circumstance the idea of your mom walking in on you in the throes of passion is just....awful. So if anyone ever asks, can you stop a sex act at anytime, think of your mama and know that regardless of how committed to the loving either party is, the answer is a resounding yes.

Cultural Crisis Three –Trust Yourself.

We are quick to shut down our intuition and inner faith in ourselves in order to be polite. So much drama could be avoided if we would just listen to our inner voice.

We respect good old fashioned manners, but not at the expense of our safety. Gender stereotypes again set the stage for inequality. If a woman says no too sternly she is a bitch, but if a man says no, he is just letting you know where he stands. Too often women have been attacked when they sensed that something about the perpetrator was off but they did not speak up because their inner voice differed from the rules of etiquette and they allowed that voice to ring louder than their own. What do we do when we live in a world that tells us to play nice but does everything to promote our fear? Find a balance and create a path to peace and power. Do not be afraid to say no.

Saying no is not rude; it’s honoring yourself and self respect and trusting your intuition.

Creating Change, Making the Move to a Sexually Empowered Culture.

We have to talk the talk before we can walk the walk. But first it is time for us to come clean, come forward and tell you the truth about our sordid past.

There was a time in our not so distant past that we did a lot of good and then compounded it with some bad; for too long we used language that helped make violence culturally acceptable and oppressed us all sexually.

Think about the words used to describe sex. Screwing, banging, and jumping someone’s bones, smack’n it, humping and bumping, nailing, hitting it.... all of them are terms of aggression and violence. If we use violent language to describe sex, how can we perceive it as a good thing?

The language issues don’t stop there. The way we talk about our bodies is not so good either. Is it so hard to say penis, vagina and breasts? The way we refer to our own anatomy is painful. Melons, nuts, cooter; really?

We can do better. We have to start loving ourselves and not just in theory.

That means talking about ourselves and others with respect.

Also, no more homosexual slurs. It is hurtful and wrong. Saying something is “gay” hurts people and oppresses us all regardless of sexual orientation. We still remember when it was offensive to call someone my bitch or “ho.” When did these become terms of endearment? We are so desensitized to how we speak to one another that we now accept the unacceptable.

The language keeps on keeping on….

One of the worst most oppressive terms that have pervaded our culture and especially our Greek culture is “the walk of shame”. The problem with the walk of shame is not the actual sex; it is the affiliation of sex and shame. Do you see a theme here? How can we feel good about connecting in a loving way with another person when all we use is language that oppresses, and pervades all areas of our lives? If your sex life goes from a good idea at night to a nightmare at daybreak; then we have to ask, should you have been there in the first place? If you meet someone and have a night of unbridled, safe, passionate love then rock on. But if when the light of day cracks through the window you suddenly feel trapped and are praying that no one sees you in

the disheveled ensemble from the night prior, we have to ask if you make the most sexually empowered choice? If you choose to spend the night with someone we want you to wake up feeling fantastic, as if the passionate exchange from the night before was just the start of the euphoria. You should walk with a swagger the following morning. If you don’t then you are not having the best connection possible and that is neither sexually empowered nor acceptable.

Think about how you can contribute. What will you no longer say, or how will you speak about your body or sex in a different way? You possess the power to change the way we view sex and intimacy. If we can learn to respect the choices we make, that our peers make, all while looking out for another can you imagine how much kinder and healthier we all would be? How much easier it would be to be honest about our needs and wants. It would create a space where we all can help reduce, if not eliminate acquaintance rape. Once we learn to see the world through sexually empowered eyes we can help each one of us have more fulfilling relationships. Regardless of if we have sex or not. Please do not think we believe that the only way to achieve sexual intimacy is through sexual intercourse. Some of the most sexually empowered folks we know have made the choice to abstain from sex. Sexual empowerment is not a challenge to be sexually active it is a quest to truly know yourself, your desires and preferences and to be confident about fully living those choices, working towards a place where you can be comfortable expressing them to yourself and others. If we can learn to be honest and confident about sex, then we can stop fearing intimacy, love (or really like) one another equally regardless of gender.

In a sexually empowered culture we could also do a few more extraordinary things. We could stop using alcohol or other drugs as an emotional lubricant.

We can do this by being confident and honest, not using the crutch we have all been given through terms like beer goggles and the walk of shame. We have to know and believe that having sex with someone who is under the influence is wrong, not to mention illegal. We have to stand up and speak out when we see others making it acceptable.

Lastly, as we move towards a sexually empowered culture there is something we desperately need from all of you; a little faith, belief and humanity. We have to stop treating survivors who come forward as if they are on trial. If a person told you someone stole their wallet most folks would show them more kindness and trust than if they told you they were sexually assaulted.

Would you ask a friend who was robbed what they were wearing or if they were drinking? No one wants to be robbed and no one wants to be raped or sexually assaulted. Social stigma towards rape has infected our culture but it does not have to continue.

Sexual empowerment is violence prevention. By living a sexually empowered life you’re helping to stomp out sexual violence. This is a chance to change the polluted sexual climate in which we all live. You are the most powerful element in changing the campus culture and making your community a safer place. As a leader in Greek life you have an opportunity to use your position to lead by example, to make your chapter and your campus, safer, better, more empowered.

We consider you reading this article as our first date and based on the premise that you cared enough to get to the end we both thank you and, to be honest, we are really digging you. So, if you need help with moving your world into a more sexually empowered one, give us a shout at www.kellyandbecca.com because we know with you and your commitment, change is possible.

ONE IN FOUR GIRLS ONE IN SIX BOYS BEFORE THEY ARE During Angela’s activism many people disclosed that they too were survivors of sexual violence, almost always committed by someone they knew and trusted. As a student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Angela established the organization PAVE (Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment) in response to the lack of grassroots activism on the issue of sexual violence. PAVE has grown from a college organization into a national non-profit that works to create education and action on the issue of sexual violence. Its mission is to shatter the silence of sexual violence by being inclusive of all victim experiences and focusing on both prevention and raising awareness to end this epidemic of violence.

EIGHTEEN SHATTERING THE SILENCE

e l i S e th g n i Shatter

Research has shown that one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually assaulted before the age of 18 (Finkelhor, 1992). A sexual assault survivor is not a faceless shadow or a frightened stranger, and the discussion surrounding survivors should not be whispered or dusted under the carpet. Sexual violence affects every person in this country considering statistics have shown we all know a survivor. Perhaps one of the reasons the violence is so prevalent is because the initial reaction for many people is to squelch the conversation that surrounds this issue, either because it is “too personal” or taboo, or uncomfortable.

e c n e l o i V l a u x e S f o e c n

by Angela Rose, Laura L. Dunn & Gina Bartucci PAVE: Promoting Awareness, Vic tim Empowerment

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At the age of 17, Angela Rose was launched into activism after being kidnapped at knifepoint leaving her job from a suburban Chicago shopping mall. The perpetrator that sexually assaulted Angela was a repeat sex offender on parole for murder. Angela survived her assault and broke the silence by speaking out about what happened to her. She began working with the perpetrator’s previous victims as well as the family members of the murdered victim to petition for legislative change. Through concentrated grassroots efforts these survivors leveraged the community to collect over 5,000 signatures petitioning for the passage of the Illinois Sexually Violent Persons Commitment Act in Illinois (1998).

STAGGERING STATISTICS The realities of sexual violence are rarely discussed in our society since sexuality is often regarded as a private issue. To shatter this silence, PAVE points out that sexual violence is a community problem that we all must work to stop.

This violence is not a personal issue that a victim is condemned to deal with privately – rather it is a crime against those most dear to us and we are all accountable to take action against this injustice. The first step in taking action comes with awareness. Stop and think about the reality of sexual violence: ask yourself how many women do you know, and for every four you can list, one is likely a victim. As for the men in your life, for every six, statistics say one of them has been sexually harmed (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000). Does it shock you that an issue affecting so many individuals in our lives does not have more activists raging every day to stop the violence and bring justice to the survivors?

What strengthens the silence surrounding this issue are the societal assumptions held regarding sexual violence. Many believe sexual assault can only happen when a stranger attacks a woman who happens to be on her own. This is hardly the norm. Every day advocates are working to create social awareness that sexual violence is a spectrum from sexual harassment to rape. It includes any act that is sexual in nature, whether verbal or physical, which breaks a person’s trust or violates his or her safety. This violence is not limited to a specific gender or age and it is often related to other types of interpersonal violence. Most often, this violence is committed by a trusted individual known to the victim. Current research continues to reinforce this understanding with findings that the majority of victims (71%) know their assailant through acquaintance (47%), a former or current relationship (22%), or familial relations (2%) (Rennison, 2000). Such prevalent, interpersonal violence leaves communities with deep scars and a desire to silence the problem or blame the victim rather than believe that their own members could commit such heinous acts.

BLAME THE PERPETRATORS, SUPPORT THE VICTIMS There is tremendous stigma in our society when someone becomes a victim of sexual violence. Survivors are often blamed for the assault because of a myth that victims are “asking for it” because of what they were wearing, how they acted, where they were, or with whom they associate. This blame probably contributes to underreporting both in college, where only 5% of female victims reported the crime (Schwartz & Leggett, 1999), and overall to law enforcement where only approximately 28% of victims report their assault (NCVS, 1999). Even when a survivor can overcome the myths in society and take a courageous step forward to report the crime, they are often met with doubt by family, friends or law enforcement. Not only is the sexual violence MGCA // 011

traumatizing itself, but also societal responses often continue that harm by re-victimizing survivors.

Both traumas lead to a variety of emotional and psychological issues including, but not limited to, eating disorders, self-mutilation, alcohol or drug abuse, hyper- or hypo-sexuality, post traumatic stress disorders, and issues with trust and relationships. These emotional landmines can remain hidden for years and appear after a triggering event. Sexual violence is a crime that takes away the power and control, so survivors may use these unhealthy behaviors as an attempt to regain control. PAVE strongly believes in the need for victims of sexual violence to become empowered in order to transition to survivors and ultimately to “thrivers” - those who thrive through support from loved ones and communities.

The truth about sexual violence is that perpetrators choose to harm their victims. Whether they use physical force, a weapon, drugs or alcohol intoxication to overpower a victim or take advantage of age, fear, location or other opportunistic means, it is always the perpetrator who is to blame. Many laws define sexual assault broadly as sexual contact without consent, and the concept of sexual consent is often misunderstood.

PAVE believes consent is a clearly and freely given yes and not the absence of a no to a specific sexual request or experience. It is an affirmative response, not the lack of a negative one. Consent cannot be obtained if a person is impaired from intoxication through drugs or alcohol (voluntarily or involuntarily consumed). Individuals that commit sexually violent acts control and violate the bodily integrity of the victim.

Another educational victory was the creation of a PAVE college-level class that trains students in peer education for course credit at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. These trained peer educators raise awareness of these issues through the athletic department, classrooms, Greek organizations and during freshman orientation. PAVE also works to create a climate that addresses silence issues within diverse cultural communities while exploring multiple oppressions including sexism, racism and homophobia.

INDIVIDUAL AND COMMUNITY ACTION While the issue of sexual violence may seem overwhelming, every one of us working together can make the difference! The beauty of community organizing is that it takes only one leader to initiate and coordinate the efforts of many. One event can impact an entire community by creating awareness and calling for prevention and a better response to sexual violence. PAVE challenges everyone to become actively involved in change, and invites readers today to become involved right now! Partnerships and collaboration are essential in continuing to create a movement to end sexual violence. One example of how you can get involved in PAVE is through an international art empowerment campaign called The Binding Project. Participants write a word of empowerment on two plastic zip ties, one to wear as a bracelet and the other to submit to be included into a future art installation piece that will be displayed in Los Angeles, New York and Chicago. Why zip ties? They were used to bind Angela’s wrists behind her back when she was kidnapped. All of these unique words of empowerment are inspirational and serve as a symbol of the importance for us – both men and women - to ban together to shatter the silence.

THERE IS A ROLE

FOR YOU IN ENDING

SEXUAL VIOLENCE.

Community involvement in sexual violence requires us to focus beyond the victim when addressing this complex issue. This may mean going beyond risk reduction messaging and entering into the arena that focuses efforts on empowering victims, condemning perpetrators and involving bystanders to prevent sexual violence. We all have a role whether it is ensuring consent from a sexual partner or intervening in a situation where sexual violence is a potential. Even if you are unsure if an intervention is necessary in a particular situation, we encourage people to err on the side of caution given the prevalence of sexual violence. It is not only appropriate, but also urgent, that individuals intervene whether there is a bad feeling about an interaction on the street, at a social gathering, or between two friends. All it takes is one person’s voice to bring attention to a potentially harmful situation.

EDUCATIONAL OUTREACH Often when we picture a victim of sexual assault cloaked in shadows, we do not see a face – but we see a gender. People often forget that men also suffer from sexual violence and many see this as a “women’s issue.” However, many men in this country suffer in silence as victims of sexual assault because of the stigma attached to a male victim. Not only do many men survive sexual violence and therefore hold an important place in the conversation, but they are also crucial in the prevention of these crimes. Prevention transcends individual responsibility to include bystander intervention, which is again speaking out when an interaction seems dangerous, and also includes perpetrator accountability.

PAVE launched a men’s initiative called Men Opposing Sexual Assault (MOSA) to emphasize that sexual assault affects everyone and therefore everyone should have a stake in the issue. A poster campaign created with men in MOSA and UW-Madison Health Services helped call attention to this issue. The “I Have the Courage, We Have the Power to Stop Sexual Assault,” poster went up on buses and around campus. The goal was to educate other men on sexual violence, promote gender equality, and engage men to take an active role in bystander intervention.

012 // connections // 2009.spring

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and it is not too late to implement the Binding Project on your campus or create an event like PAVE’s Art for Awareness. Combining artists, musicians, advocates and poets, these events can bring a sense of community and empowerment when shattering the silence of sexual violence.

CHANGE BEGINS WITH YOU The most powerful force in the movement to end sexual violence is an individual person with the courage to break the silence. There is a role for you in order to help us to end sexual violence. There are many things you can do to support survivors. PAVE worked with America’s Most Wanted to create a web-based production on how to support a loved one, which is a crucial piece of knowledge for both males and females. Many men and women are thrust into the role of supporter after a partner, friend or loved one chooses to share that he or she has been victimized, and individuals often feel completely ill prepared and react with anger. Some key points are to believe that person, be a good listener, provide resources, and to suggest reporting to the authorities, but never force anything.

We all have a stake in opposing sexual violence by using our voice and action. When we do not feel the effects personally, it is easy to think that if we ignore the issue it will go away. The individual covered in shadows will go back to wherever he or she came from and you will no longer have to think about the reality of sexual abuse. Have you considered what it would take to get you to take a stand against sexual assault? What if everyone who you knew stepped forward and told you they had been affected by sexual violence? Would you act then? What if it was your mother? Your brother? What if you know many individuals, and research says you do, who have been bearing this burden quietly for years because of the intense silence surrounding the issue? Do you think it is time to help smash that silence?

You have the power to make a tremendous impact on your campus community – even if you think you have no connection to the issue. Remember this month that sexual violence is a community problem that we all need to work together to stop. We all must take a stand and work together to end this epidemic!

“

Get it in writing.

We are using Connections Magazine here at The University of Iowa as one of the textbooks for our Fraternity and Sorority Life Leadership course. The issues are themed perfectly with the topics and discussions we will have in the class. Whether it is the articles, the “Ask the Expert” advice or the “Busted” highlights, each magazine is written for our population of students and has something for everyone from every type of council.

”

Kelly Jo Karnes

// Associate Director Office of Student Life // The University of Iowa

CONNECTIONS relevant conversations for relevant leaders MGCA Connections is a quarterly publication aimed at providing relevant, challenging content for both students & fraternity/sorority professionals.

Each issue is packed with original information targeted specifically at those individuals who work so hard to keep the fraternal movement going on campuses across America.

Articles from industry leaders and special columns combine to make this publication a must read for professionals, volunteers, and students.

MGCA members receive two subscriptions free with each paid council membership, but many campuses are choosing to subscribe for their leaders to use in their chapters, in the classroom, and as they lead their campuses.

Join in the movement and subscribe now to get the best resources for your leadership team.

Subscribe today: mgca.org/services/connections.php

MGCA // 013

Men Obesity :

&

by Jamie Olson / Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity

Body

Image Additional Reading

blog.wholefoodsmarket.com/ www.freshman15.com/ www.menshealth.com/cda/homepage.do www.mensfitness.com/ www.obesity.org/

014 // connections // 2009.spring

References Alcohol 101 Plus. (n.d.). Alcohol and College Students Drinking Fact Sheet. Retrieved March 20, 2009 from http://www.alcohol101plus.org/downloads/CollegeStudents.pdf.

Rockler-Gladen, N. (2007, April 17). College students and depression; Commons signs, symptoms, and experiences. College University/Suite 101.com. Retrieved March 20, 2009 from http://collegeuniversity.suite101.com/article.cfm/college_students_and_depression The Obesity Society. (2007). Obesity statistics; Obesity in US Adults: 2007. Retrieved March 20, 2009 from http://www.obesity.org/statistics/.

Virginia Tech Alcohol Use Prevention. (n.d.). Alcohol’s effects. Retrieved March 20, 2009 from http://www.alcohol.vt.edu/Students/alcoholEffects/index.htm.

Many men are faced with the difficulties and challenges related to how we set our priorities upon entering college. Many students think that college is a time to simply let loose; but it is also a time to learn a tremendous deal about yourself and who you really are, not to mention also realizing who and what it is that you really hope to become.

Many students today just aren’t ready to take that next step of development, whether this is done consciously or subconsciously.

And, in the adolescent years, too much time is spent worrying about how we look. We are scared off by what we believe society has said and will continue to tell us what our bodies ought to look like and what behaviors are ‘normal’. The bottom line is - society is right. We need to change. We need to make change.

Students, especially student leaders, need to step up and face those challenges every day. Today, body image is not just a women’s issue and many men, in addition to women, struggle with weight gain during the college years.

Let’s be honest: many of us have a daily check list that looks similar to this: > Go to class (Keeping in mind… no morning classes, Friday classes) > Go to the gym > Play Video Games > Drink If we are placing such low expectations on ourselves, is it really a surprise when we are caught off guard by the increasing number of obese people in our communities?

As an undergraduate, I had a job at the Fitness Manager at our university Fitness Center. I was able to see firsthand the various social issues and the negative impacts they had on male college students. It wasn’t uncommon to run into a guy who wasn’t dieting properly or was using steroids (sadly it isn’t just an issue with Major League Baseball), but these are not the only issues affecting college men. Male students today are faced with a myriad of body image issues including diet, alcohol and drug use and depression. This article focuses on the issues of obesity and addresses a few of its more common culprits: drinking and depression.

Obesity Obesity is a condition in which excess body fat accumulates to the extent that one’s health could be negatively affected. A common tool used to define obesity is the use of the BMI (Body Mass Index). A BMI ranging from 2530 can generally result in one being overweight, while a BMI of 30+ generally results in one being obese (The Obesity Society, 2007).

The formula below helps to figure out BMI and the results are in accordance to the chart shown.

weight (kg) CHART ONE BODY MASS INDEX [BMI] = ------------------------ height(m)2 BMI

Classification

< 18.5

Underweight

18.5–24.9

normal weight

25.0–29.9 is

Overweight

30.0–34.9 is

class I obesity

35.0–39.9

class II obesity

> 40.0

class III obesity

A 2007 study conducted by the Center for Disease Control showed us that over 25% of respondents are obese (The Obesity Society, 2007). This statistic has consistently risen since then and, unfortunately, is a constant issue for many college students, both male and female.

We are able to fight this issue with the help of friends, doctors, peers or by just being smart about our own dieting. The first step in conquering this problem is to see your doctor or a counselor. After meeting with them, they will be able to provide you with the next set of necessary steps.

It isn’t uncommon for those battling obesity to meet with a nutritionist about developing a new diet and a personal trainer to begin working out. Many individuals way want to laugh about NBC’s show the Biggest Loser, but watching the show and reviewing the material on their website acts as a great tool to begin to motivate oneself.

Alcohol Alcohol is one of the biggest factors that most contribute to weight gain during the college years. Yes, college students drink. Although this is well known, many may still not be aware of the volume that students are drinking. According to the Harvard School of Public Health College Alcohol Study (CAS) (Alcohol 101 Plus, n.d.): > Students who are the most likely to binge drink are male, white, under 24 years of age, involved in athletics and members of a fraternity or sorority.

Additionally, students who were binge drinkers in high school are three times more likely to binge drink in college. > An overwhelming majority of college students feel drinking is a central part of the social life of both fraternities and sororities (79% and 72%, respectively). Specifically, Greek-affiliated students feel that drinking is a central part of the social life in fraternities (88%) and sororities (78%).

The chart below shows the progressive effects alcohol has on our bodies and the impairments that continue to occur with the more we drink (Virginia Tech Alcohol Use Prevention, n.d.).

In taking steps to battle one’s demons with alcohol, there are a number of ways one can seek help, including speaking to a doctor, a counselor, a program related to drugs/alcohol or even attending an AA Meeting. Attending an AA Meeting can be a real eye opener for many people. The use of the www.aa.org website provides a wealth of information including anything from fighting the disease of alcoholism to where to attend a meeting.

BAC (%)

BEHAVIOR •

Average individual appears normal

0.03–0.059

• • • • • •

IMPAIRMENT •

Subtle effects that can be detected with special tests

Mild euphoria Sense of well-being Relaxation Talkativeness Joyous Decreased inhibition

• • • •

Alertness Judgment Coordination Concentration

0.06–0.10

• • • •

Blunted Feelings Disinhibition Extroversion Impaired Sexual Pleasure

• • • • • •

Reflexes Reasoning Depth Perception Distance Acuity Peripheral Vision Glare Recovery

0.11–0.20

• • • •

Over-Expression Emotional Swings Anger or Sadness Boisterous

• • • •

Reaction Time Gross Motor Control Staggering Slurred Speech

0.21–0.29

• • •

Stupor Loss of Understanding Impaired Sensations

• • •

Severe Motor Impairment Loss of Consciousness Memory Blackout

0.30–0.39

• • •

Severe Depression Unconsciousness Death Possible

• • •

Bladder Function Breathing Heart Rate

>0.40

• •

Unconsciousness Death

• •

Breathing Heart Rate

0.01–0.029

Depression Depression also contributes to weight gain and sluggishness. College students get depressed for the same reasons that anyone does: physiological chemical imbalance, genetics, a history of substance abuse, family problems, the death of a loved one, a traumatic event in one’s past, and many other reasons. The onset of depression often happens when someone is in their late teens and early twenties-- right during the college years (Rockler-Gladen, 2007). There are many approaches to dealing with overcoming depression and whether or not the options work depends on the individual, but one thing we do know is that depression is not something someone can just “snap in our out of.”

There are a number of ways we can fight back to treat depression. The most common ways to treat depression include medication or psychotherapy; also known as “talk therapy.” Curing depression takes time, but with the support of family, friends and loved ones and the many support groups now out there it is certainly within reason.

016 // connections // 2009.spring

Student/peer leaders and university administrators are, luckily, in positions to help students battle with vices in their daily lives. Within these types of leadership roles, people need to make sure they are having the best possible impact by taking an active role and engaging with students and peers. There is just not an excuse anymore; there are a great deal of resources available at the university level to deal with the increasing number of issues that can affect male students’ diet and body image including the campus gym or recreation center, counseling services, nutritionists, and medical doctors.

School administrators and student leaders can take an active role in assisting the college men they work with by being available and able to guide students to places to locate specific information and resources to answer questions. It is important to remember that the time spent at college ought to be that of self-discovery and reflection.

In both theory and practice, sororities and fraternities recruit individuals who possess particular traits and qualities. The decision to invite someone to join is consciously or subconsciously based on a reflection of what an organization values most. Often, qualities such as leadership, integrity, compassion, humanity, or sincerity are deemed desirable. Even some antiquated terms such as honor or valor may be sought. However, with the characteristics that are most closely tied to stated fraternal values, one must also consider a couple of characteristics that do not show up on any list of fraternal values: skinny, emaciated, and skeletal for the women, or buff, shredded, and cut for the men.

Decades, or even a century ago, when your organization was founded, the ideas of size zero for women or six-pack abs for men did not exist. Yet today, what does our society seem to value most in both genders? Appearance. The American culture remains inordinately focused on size over substance, image over integrity. This obsession with physical perfection is everywhere, most notably in the media. Flawless people routinely confront us from the covers of fashion magazines and billboards. They appear too good to be true – and that is because they are just that. Photographs in advertisements are so altered by computer magic that the models do not even look like themselves anymore. Then, there are those who appear in films and on television. Many of these people are genuinely attractive, blessed with good looks, but that is rarely enough. Many stars and celebrities feel driven to take just one more step in the quest for perfection, primarily through plastic surgery or medical intervention. Larger breasts, poutier lips, resculpted bodies – the list goes on and on.

The question is: in this perfection-driven country of ours, who wins? The answer: anyone in the beauty or the diet business. Today, diet products are a multi-billion dollar industry.

The fact that they rarely achieve the promised results appears to have little relevance.

Now, if we know who wins, let’s consider who loses. This question is easy: the countless number of girls and boys, women and men who desperately seek to achieve the false ideal.

Today, ten million women and girls have anorexia and bulimia. These disorders are now diagnosed in six-year-old girls, and increasingly, in women of middle age. They cross all ethnic, cultural, and religious lines; no one is immune. Up to one million of those with eating disorders will die from their disorder1. These numbers are not only shocking, they are utterly frightening. Those that do not die as a result of the disorders often develop critical, frequently irreversible, medical problems including infertility, osteoporosis, brain shrinkage, anemia, and heart failure2.

It is easy to ask: what is it all for? Unfortunately, for many, it is the endeavor to embrace some unrealistic, artificial idea of beauty. To see a double-digit number displayed on the scale or a single-digit number printed on the tag of a pair of pants. To, simply, have the “look?” But, think about it: nobody looks good lying in a hospital bed with tubes and IVs sticking out of their arms.

And no longer are females the exclusive gender at risk. Today, males are rapidly catching up with females in their need for perfection. Body dissatisfaction and food-related disorders are on the rise, with 25% of all eating disorders now diagnosed in the male population3. Most commonly, problems manifest in the area of binge-eating disorder (BED). A full 40% of those currently struggling with BED are male. The trickle-down medical consequences of eating disorders are the same for males as for females. Abuse of enhancement products, such as steroids and supplements, is increasing in young men.

Far too many are obsessed with strength training and exercise, not for health reasons, but to obtain some false ideal of masculine physical “perfection”.

by Debra Cooper Clearly, these problems are profound and dangerous. Whether or not you have or have had an experience with disordered eating or body image, the question should remain: Remuda Ranch Programs for how can you react? There are two ways. First: think. Take an honest inventory of your feelEating and Anxiety Disorders ings on the topics of size, weight, beauty, perfection, etc. Which one do you value more: the inside or the outside? Do you place greater importance on the values espoused by your family, friends, and fraternity or sorority, or the values of the media? These questions are not intended to appear judgmental; the answers actually matter. The qualities you value will determine the person you become and ultimately shape your life. All of us are a walking reflection of our belief systems. In addition, your values will impact the next generation. The next generation will not only embrace your beliefs, but will model your behaviors.

Second: Do. Consider those around you, your Greek brothers and sisters, your close friends, members of your family. Do you suspect, or even know, that an eating or related disorder exists? Do you have a friend in your life who is just too thin, or another who is just too muscular? Perhaps it is time to extend some help. Keep in mind, whether starvation or exercise, this person is addicted to the behavior. Therefore, approach them in the spirit of love, caring, and compassion. Professional help may be required. Many colleges and References universities have counselors on hand who can provide insight and help in these areas.

1. US Department of Health and Human Services, Office on Women’s Health Sororities and fraternities often cite their sisterhood and brotherhood as a defining char(2000). Eating Disorders. Retrieved January 14. 2005, from www.4woman.gov. acteristic in their membership. When approaching or confronting the behavior, it is im2. Birmingham, C. L., & Beumont, P. (2004). Medical Management of Eating Disorders. Cambridge, MA: Cambridge University Press. portant to be mindful of the bond that you share and the commitment you have made 3. Andersen, A.E., Cohn, L., & Holbrook, R. (2000). Making weight: Men’s connot only to the lofty fraternal values mentioned at the start of the article, but also the flicts with food, weight, shape, and appearance. Carlsbad, CA: Gurze Books. commitment that you have made to each other. It may be difficult to take that initial step, but know that there are others to support you and that you will all be better for it.

Disordered Eating and Body Image:

The Scary Truth

Not all college students face these problems. In fact, most students lead relatively well-balanced lives. But at some point, every chapter will have a member facing a serious social issue, and every individual member will have a friend or family member that needs personal support or professional intervention. What should be our role as Greek letter organizations in combating and finding solutions to the major challenges of our generation? As campus leaders, Greek letter organizations should take note of their position on campus and determine if they are givers or takers in the campus community.

So, to get your members thinking about this issue and the priority they place on their own social wellbeing, we present a quiz for you to give members individually. This quiz is a series of questions, and based on the individual’s response, a number value is attached to each question. At the end of the quiz, the individual will add up their personal score and find out if they are a giver or a taker from the campus community. Chapter leaders or advisors can edit these questions or create different ones to adjust the quiz to your campus situation. Additional suggestions for tweaking are listed below.

INDIVIDUAL QUIZ Instructions: There are no right or wrong answers, and this quiz will be selfscored.

To those whom much is given, much is expected.

Students and campus organizations contribute significantly to the heartbeat and soul of a campus.

Greek letter organizations in particular occupy a special place on college campuses, but are we earning our keep each year? Or said another way, are we giving to the campus culture or just taking from it?

This issue of Connections focuses on social issues, and we don’t mean formals, trade parties, or homecoming parades. We’re talking in broad terms, mental wellbeing, physical fitness, academic success, and healthy relationships. The statistics for college-aged adults are staggering, showing challenges in the areas of peer-to-peer conflict resolution, self-sufficiency from parents, financial hardship, body image issues, use of prescription medCampus Scorecard: Measuring ication, substance abuse, relationship Individual & Chapter Contributions problems, depression and suicide.

FACILITATION 411

018 // connections // 2009.spring

YES

NO

Individual GPA is 3.5 or higher.

+1

0

Individual GPA is above all-campus GPA.

+1

-2

Individual GPA is above 2.0.

+0

-2

CHAPTER QUIZ If you want to translate a group of individual social quizzes into an overall chapter score, there are two ways to proceed. The first option: add up the scores from all individual members to get a chapter aggregate score. The second option will require more time and thought, but it will provide a more thorough score. Create a set of questions similar to the individual quiz that reflects chapter priorities. We provide this example below.

YES

NO

Chapter GPA is 3.5 or higher.

+2

0

Chapter GPA is above all-campus

+1

-2

Individual completes at least five hours of community service per month.

+1

-1

BONUS: Individual completes >10 hours of community service per month.

+1

0

BONUS: Chapter GPA is above 2.5.

0

-2

Individual works a campus or local job at least 10 hours per month.

+1

0

Chapter new member GPA is above all-campus average. Yes: +1 point. No: -2 points.

+1

-2

BONUS: Individual works a campus or local job at least 20 hours per month.

+1

0

Chapter completes at least five hours of community service per member per semester.

+1

-1

Individual has met with every professor outside the classroom at least once this semester.

Yes: +1 point. No: -2 points.

BONUS: >10 hours per member.

+1

0

+1

-2

Chapter hosts faculty reception at least once per semester.

+1

-2

Individual is involved in at least one other student organization on campus.

+2

-3

+2

-3

BONUS: Individual is involved in two or more campus organizations AND an officer in at least one.

At least half of the chapter membership is involved in at least one other student organization on campus.

+1

0

+1

-2

Individual has attended at least one academic lecture or leadership symposium sponsored in their major or minor in the last academic year.

Chapter registers and sends at least 25% of chapter to a campus academic lecture or leadership symposium in the last academic year.

+1

-2

Chapter has a functioning judicial board that holds members accountable for violations of bylaws.

+1

-2

Individual has completed a study abroad or internship program.

+1

0

Chapter is free from campus and alumni board or inter/national organization sanctions.

+1

-2

Individual is free from campus and chapter judicial board sanctions.

+1

-2

Chapter sponsors a workshop or presentation every semester on a social issue such as personal finances, time management, mental health awareness, conflict resolution, or depression.

+1

-2

Examining the chapter budget, add up total funds spent on social events and intramurals, and label this amount “Fund A.” Now add up total funds spent on leadership development, philanthropy, community service, scholarship, and academic incentives, and label this amount “Fund B.” > Is Fund B is at least 50% of Fund A?

+1

-2

Individual has attended a workshop or presentation on a social issue such as personal finances, time management, mental health awareness, conflict resolution, or depression.

Scoring the quiz is easy: simply add up the numbers. The higher the positive score, the more the individual is giving to the chapter and campus community. The lower the negative score, the more they are taking from the chapter and campus community.

TWEAKING THE QUIZZES Using some of the simple facilitation techniques previously taught in Facilitation 411, you could present these quizzes in different ways. Using the “vote with your feet” option, state each question and then designate a side of the room for “yes” or “no” responses, and see where members move. Remember, the middle is always a safe ground for those who choose not to respond to a particular question.

SUMMARY These quizzes are not perfect, but they will give your chapter a place to start discussing if you are a giver or a taker in your campus community. Givers are chapters that support the academic mission of your campus by making scholarship and service a top priority. Givers build a support network for their members that is the envy of campus. Givers embrace their values by addressing social issues instead of ignoring them. Takers, on the other hand, spend all of their time in a social club mentality of social events and intramurals, and not much priority on anything else. In moderation, social functions and intramurals are vital components to your chapter operations, and very important for morale and care and feeding of your members. But if your chapter consists of nothing much beyond social functions and intramurals, well, that is a problem.

Lets all work together to make our campus and communities better than we found them, and better because of us.

MGCA // 019

The University of Illinois confronts “Fat Talk”!

The University of Illinois Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs, in collaboration with the Counseling Center and Campus Recreation, support Delta Delta Delta’s challenge of unhealthy body image through the Reflections: Body Image Program. The Reflections: Body Image Program was created after research, spearheaded by Dr. Carolyn Becker and Eric Stice, concluded that young women in America are faced with troubling issues from society’s inaccurate portrayal of beautiful women. The researchers then developed this interactive, peer-led, small group model of addressing “Fat Talk” and body image. Their research shows that the program works in improving body image issues as well as encouraging healthy confrontation and communication skills!

The University of Illinois saw the need for programming with such a focus in the sorority chapters on our campus. In November 2008, staff members from all three departments and one undergraduate member of Delta Delta Delta went through the “train the trainer” academy to support the implementation of the program amongst sorority chapters at Illinois. In January 2009, this group of trained facilitators led a training session of over 30 peer facilitators from the Illinois chapters of Delta Delta Delta and Delta Gamma.

Delta Delta Delta has successfully trained over half of their 170+ members in the awareness of “Fat Talk” and its negative effects on the chapter through two, two-hour sessions on positive body image awareness. Delta Gamma is also in the middle of delivering the sessions. Moving forward, each chapter will deliver the sessions to their new member classes each fall semester. The interactive, thought provoking sessions have been given great reviews by students thus far! Plans are underway to bring two more chapters on board in the fall semester. Eventually, we hope to make the program available to any interested chapter.

*

This January, in recognition of the University’s wellness theme Emotional Wellness, the topic for the forum was mental health, specifically titled: “Suicide: Is It All About Me?” The fraternity and sorority community invited a University counselor to speak about the topic of suicide and depression. The counselor showed a film titled “The Truth about Suicide: Real Stories of Depression in College” from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

The film outlined personal stories of college students that have encountered situations of depression or experienced a loss of a friend or family member to suicide. The University counselor also spoke about warning signs, what to do for a brother/sister if they show warning signs, and reviewed resources available on campus and in the community for fraternity and sorority members.

Since the forum, the Counseling Center has seen an increase in traffic and conversation related to the issue of depression and suicide. The University counselor plans to continue the conversation with each individual chapter at MIllikin.

FROM THE ROAD

More information about the program can be found at www.bodyimageprogram.org.

Texas A&M University / Current Social Issues The Department of Greek Life at Texas A&M has recently introduced IFC Pursuit. Pursuit is a program for sophomore men which provides a forum to discuss current social issues occurring in their chapters and the IFC community.

Historically, men have never had an outlet to discuss common concerns.

Chapters are hesitant to share inner struggles, and this program is meant to change this culture. Over eight weeks, 25 men in the community will attend weekly 90 minute seminars focused on different aspects of the fraternity experience. This program provides a forum for open, honest discussions about the realities of their experience. With these issues brought to the forefront, participants will be provided with ideas and strategies for change. Much of this training will focus on how to take these issues on when peers or older members seem to be the root of the problem.

The goal of Pursuit is not only to provide the participants with resources and skills to be leaders, but more importantly, it is meant to provide the future leaders of the community with a network within which they can rely on for support and advice. By bringing issues that were previously ignored to the forefront, these men can begin to identify strategies for change as a united community. More importantly, these men can come to understand that there are the agents to make this change possible.

020 // connections // 2009.winter

Millikin University / Forum on Mental Health The fraternity and sorority community at Millikin University hosts two Greek Forums per semester, which all members of the fraternity and sorority community attend. The topics of the forums vary depending on the current issues facing the community and/or the university community.

From the Road is a chance to highlight best practices from Fraternity and Sorority communities across the nation. What has your campus done lately that deserves recognition? If you would like to be featured in an upcoming issue, go online to www.mgca.org/services/connections and submit an overview of a great activity that your council or community has done lately.

NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY / GREEK ALLY PROGRAM In an effort to live the values and mission of our organization, Northwestern University fraternity and sorority students came together to discuss how the community could become more inclusive towards lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students. The Greek Ally program, modeled off of resources from the Lambda 10 Project and the University of Illinois – Urbana Champaign, is primarily student-led, with assistance from the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life. Students for the group were identified by contacting chapter presidents, who then nominated individuals who they thought would be good participants. Students were then sent targeted e-mails asking for their participation.

More than 20 students met for the first time in February. The meeting began with a facilitated panel that consisted of a student who identifies as gay and in a fraternity, a straight ally in a sorority, and a member of the campus-based LGBT group. The panel allowed the students to speak on their experience in their organizations, allowed the other participants to ask questions in a safe environment, and created dialogue about where change is needed to improve the community. After an engaging conversation, the students then agreed to continue the dialogue at the beginning of the following quarter.

While the first meeting was used to create a sense of urgency, future meetings will be set for action and implementation. Ideas from students included providing safe-space training to chapter members, LGBT Ally Awareness trainings to chapters, and restructuring programming to be more inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity issues.

While the long-term impact is yet to be discovered, the initial meeting concluded with a bold statement to push action. A student said, “If we want to make a difference today and stand up for what’s right, we need to be the brave individuals in our chapters who stand up and address the issues. When our chapters use homophobic language or create hetero-normative events, we need to stand up and say no.”

MGCA // 021

Tips for A More Healthy Body Image Realize that you cannot change your body type. Learn to love and respect your body and to work with what you have.

TAKING ACTION:

A NEW FOCUS

Invest time and money in yourself, rather than the diet and supplement industry. Spend your extra money on flattering clothes, fitness equipment, haircuts, massages, and other personal indulgences--not on diets.

by Katie McWain / Drury University

Of all the pressures facing student leaders, academic work causes a large amount of stress. Fraternity and sorority student leaders are notorious for juggling more activities and taking on more responsibility than the average college student.

Balancing academics with chapter involvement, membership in other campus organizations, a social life, and perhaps a job, takes serious skill and self-discipline. Most fraternity and sorority leaders can relate to feeling pressured and stretched to the limit at one point or another. Given the limitless demands on our time, it can be difficult to remember that the primary purpose of college is to receive an education.

Luckily, my chapter of Pi Beta Phi has an excellent role model for academic success. One of our members, Molly Hague, is an outstanding example of someone who successfully balances Greek life with her academic major.

As our chapter president, Molly has maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout her college career in the Pre-Dentistry program—an amazing feat! She is also the secretary for our school’s Student Ambassadors group and does charity work through a volunteer community program. She makes A’s in tough classes like organic chemistry while still managing to be an incredible leader for our chapter. Molly has inspired our sorority to reexamine our priorities and become more focused on academic achievement.

Molly uses Pi Phi events as “study breaks” in the midst of her busy schedule, providing a chance to de-stress and hang out with sisters while resting her brain.

When I spoke with Molly about her secrets for success, she made the bottom line very clear: it’s all about time management! She never loses sight of her planner, and she makes a schedule and to-do list for each day. Molly uses Pi Phi events as “study breaks” in the midst of her busy schedule, providing a chance to de-stress and hang out with sisters while resting her brain.

She never misses a sorority function unless it is unavoidable.

Molly also dedicates every Friday night to fun—a time when she puts away homework and goes out with friends. She discourages procrastination, one of the worst habits many college students fall into. While most of us go home and nap, watch TV, or log onto Facebook after a difficult day of classes, Molly insists that when it comes to scheduling homework time, earlier is better.

As the new leader of our chapter, Molly has placed a much greater emphasis on education. She has encouraged attendance at study hours, a mandatory time where new members and members struggling with grades come together to do homework and support each other.

Since becoming president, Molly has thought of many suggestions for helping Greeks with their grades. The sororities at our university participate in a competition for highest chapter GPA, encouraging members to study harder. Every meeting, Molly cheers us on to get the top grades on campus. She has also proposed a forum for all new sorority and fraternity members early in the semester, where older students stress the importance of prioritizing academics and not procrastinating or partying too hard at the beginning of the semester.

For the future, Molly wants to implement an academic mentoring program into Pi Beta Phi. Junior and senior members will be matched to first-year students and members having difficulty in school. This mentor relationship will provide them with course-specific tutoring, general academic support, and time management advice. Molly feels that the best way to increase academic performance in our chapter is to emulate the members who balance academic work and extracurricular events successfully.

Maintaining good grades while balancing a busy college student lifestyle presents special challenges. Under Molly’s guidance, our chapter is finding exciting ways to increase our academic achievement, both at the individual level and chapter level. Academic success is one of the most important lessons we can teach our members, and one of the best contributions we can give to our campus community.

Stop weighing yourself. Focus on how your clothes fit and how you feel.

If you keep trying to achieve an unrealistically low body weight for you, you’re setting yourself up for failure, depression, disordered eating, and decreased quality of life.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Celebrate your body and the marvelous things it can do when you are fit and well-nourished. So often, we take these things for granted.

Move and enjoy your body. Go walking, swimming, biking, and dancing.

Do yoga, aerobics, and weight training…. not because you have to, but because it makes you feel strong and energized.

Surround yourself with people who have a healthy relationship with food, weight, and their bodies. It will make a difference in how you feel about yourself. Also, remember to set a good example for others by refraining from “fat talk” when you’re with friends and family.

Stop your negative thoughts and statements about yourself. Focus on what you love about yourself. Compliment yourself. Talk to your body the way you would talk to a good friend.

Reclaim your own inner strength. Focus on the unique qualities and personality traits that make you a special and successful person.

Nurture your inner self. Enjoy things you find relaxing (e.g. music, bubble baths, fragrances, candles, massages, reading, writing, napping), be close to nature (e.g. garden, sunsets, beach, stars), and/or seek spiritual connection (e.g. prayer, meditation, inspirational reading, reflection). Feeling good on the inside is key to feeling good on the outside.

Examine the degree to which your self-esteem depends upon your appearance. Although it may seem natural to wish you looked like a fashion model or a body builder, basing your happiness on this desire may lead to failure. Unrealistic goals can prevent you from exploring ways to enhance your life.

Broaden your perspective. Talk to people you trust, read books about body image, or write in a journal. These activities may help you to recognize emotionally destructive thoughts and put body image into perspective.

Recognize that “fat-ism” is a form of discrimination similar to sexism, racism, and classism. Assumptions that body shape determines attractiveness, personality, and success are incorrect and unjust. Combat discrimination when possible. Question assumptions and generalizations which promote the belief that one “type” of person is better than another.

Reference Tips for A More Healthy Body Image. Student Nutrition and Body Image Action Committee website, University of California – Los Angeles. Retrieved March 11, 2009 at: http:// www.snac.ucla.edu/pages/Body_Image/Body_Image.htm

022 // connections // 2009.spring

MGCA // 023

Q:

ASK the Experts I am a member of a fraternity and there is a guy in my chapter who has a legal prescription to OxyContin (Oxycodone). Lately, he has been selling some of the pills to other guys in my chapter and other friends, in general. I know this is wrong… but I am not sure if it’s my business; I’m not the Chapter President nor am I in a leadership position. Should I say something?

John Pfingston / kappa alpha order I realize prescription drugs are becoming more common within chapters today and the over medicated, pill-popping culture that society is evolving into isn’t properly assisting the efforts—especially for those who abuse the system and illegally distribute drugs to others. But legal prescriptions are only legal for those to whom they are prescribed.

Next, I think it is your business if an action is negatively affecting chapter brothers and your friends in general. One of the top mentioned attributes that I am told when visiting chapters is “we’ve got great brotherhood.” Does great brotherhood distribute pain pills to its members? Moreover, how will this affect the chapter’s overall reputation on campus? And more specifically, what does this say about the character of its individual members?

Finally, you don’t have to be deemed with the title of president to be a leader, nor are the officers in the chapter the only ones who have a monopoly on standing up to do the right thing. When you were voted on and initiated into your chapter, that’s when you were given the right to speak up and voice your opinion. Don’t forget that.

So if you could not already tell, yes, I do think you should say something. I am glad you know that this behavior is wrong and are seeking to correct it. If you yourself cannot stand up and address the issue, please find someone who will because there are probably others who feel the same way. It could be an older member, past officer, involved alumnus, or possibly your Greek advisor. I heard the following quote a few weeks ago about a person’s character; I believe applies here, “I think it is better we do right, even if we suffer in doing so...” Good luck.

Jennifer Leung / college of william & mary As a member of the fraternity who cares about his brothers, you shouldn’t need a title or a position to express concern. You may want to find another member of the chapter who he respects, and talk to that brother about the situation and both of you can confront him about the issue. Find an appropriate time and place to address your concerns with your brother; not only is he putting himself at risk, but he’s also causing potential harm to the individuals to whom he is selling OxyContin. Find out what’s really going on, there may be some underlying issues that are making him do this, and support him in getting the proper help that he needs.

CHAD ELLSWORTH / UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA Fraternity is an interesting thing. In a lot of ways, we assume that brotherhood means standing up for our brother no matter what, because that is what brothers do. In our minds, that is loyalty. On top of that, we elect leaders to enforce civility, order, policies, and rules, because after all, somebody has to do those things. Being loyal more accurately is fighting (sometimes tooth and nail) to make our brothers better brothers, citizens, and men, and sometimes that means doing something unpopular or something that will be painful, in the short term. As a fraternity man, you took an oath to make yourself and the men around you better brothers, citizens, and men.

Your motivation always should be: I care about you, and I want you to be successful in life and for nothing you are doing now to get in the way of that. If you approach it in that way, he may not be happy, but he will respect you.

Q:

My sorority’s Vice President of Recruitment recently commented in a meeting that some of our members need to lose weight over the summer to prepare for recruitment. I found this highly offensive. Besides the obvious point that the comment was rude, there are a few girls in my chapter who have struggled with eating disorders in the past who I worry about now. On the other hand, there are a few of us who could stand to lose a little weight. What do you think?

John Pfingston / kappa alpha order I think that by itself, losing weight isn’t going to help your chapter recruit one single member. Chapters that pride themselves solely on outward appearances may indeed recruit attractive women, but last time I checked sororities should be much more than just a collection of beauties. While looks do play a part in most people’s first impression of others, I find it more concerning that your VP of Recruitment was more interested in mandating aesthetics than reiterating the core values that your group was founded upon—you know those qualities and attributes that truly matter when discussing potential new members.

As for the members in the chapter who have either struggled with eating disorders or those “who could stand to lose a little weight,” I believe the answer is the same for both: you continue to support them and offer assistance where possible. If the chapter has quite a few members who have suffered from eating disorders, attempt to get some outside assistance (either through therapists, dieticians, alumnae or your Greek life office) and possibly bring a qualified speaker to campus. This could be an issue other sororities have too. Likewise, there’s nothing wrong with encouraging your members to participate in campus intramurals—not only does it help promote exercise but also adds another component of sisterhood. However, both should be voluntary and conducted under the auspices of making the chapter stronger and ultimately preparing your individual members to lead healthier lifestyles—not as an ends for recruitment preparation.

Q:

Jennifer Leung / college of william & mary

I am the only person in my chapter who doesn’t drink. Nobody really knows why, but they assume it’s because I am basically a prude. However, the reason I don’t drink is because I have a large family history of alcohol and drug abuse and am afraid that I’ll become an alcoholic if I start. Anyway, since I don’t drink, I am ALWAYS pressured into being the sober bro at our chapter functions. I hate it, just because I’m sober doesn’t mean I don’t want to have fun.

Any ideas?

John Pfingston / kappa alpha order

Share with a few of the brothers you are closer to your feelings about this, that you are a brother who has every right to have just as much fun at an event (you pay the same dues as everyone else) and not a chapter taxi service – you may not even have to share with them your reasons why you choose to not drink, unless you are comfortable doing so. Everyone might just assume that you are okay serving in this role, because you’ve never said that you didn’t want to. Serving as “sober bro” at events should be everyone’s responsibility once in a while, especially chapter officers like social chair and risk manager.

CHAD ELLSWORTH / UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA I had a similar experience as an undergraduate, so I definitely can relate. In my case, I had to work (a lot) to pay for my expenses in school, which included working past midnight Friday and Saturday nights. When I got off work, many of my brothers expected me to drive the van to and from the party house (i.e. annex, satellite, etc.) because I was sober. If there is not a formal system for assigning duties for parties, it’s important to create one. You could share your personal experience, but also focus on the missed opportunities for others to participate in the management and security of chapter social events, which can help them become better brothers or sisters by understanding the challenges and issues associated with operating a safe and fun social event.

First of all, I want to commend you on your sobriety given your family’s medical history. Most people probably would not have the moral fiber to remain as vigilant or be as committed to their values given the peer pressure involved. Furthermore, there should not be an expectation that you’re always serving as the chapter’s designated driver just because you don’t drink. Aside from the potential risk management and liability involved (that’s a different issue), you didn’t join your chapter to be the all time sober brother, and fraternities are not all about consuming alcohol.

If you feel comfortable enough, I would suggest discussing this issue with a respected member of the chapter, maybe one of the officers, a chapter alumnus, or someone who you’re close with. Explain the situation and how you are feeling because you have nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with randomly helping a friend out and taking him home after a night out on the town if you choose, but it’s completely different when a chapter comes to expect its nondrinkers to always cater to those who do. If members cannot see past that, I am not sure these guys truly fit the definition of being your ‘brothers.’

Lastly, I would just stop. Stop allowing the other brothers to take advantage of you. What did the chapter do before you were a member? What are they going to do when you’re gone? There’s nothing wrong with saying no and forcing them to take a taxi. Moreover, I would encourage your chapter to look into utilizing buses or some other form of third party transit for chapter functions. Though it would need to be worked into the budget, it eliminates the need for DDs and ensures that everyone arrives and departs from the chapter functions safely.

this month’s experts: Chad Ellsworth / Coordinator, Office for Fraternity and Sorority Life University of Minnesota John E. Pfingston / Associate Director for Chapter Development Kappa Alpha Order Jennifer Leung / Assistant Director, Student Activities The College of William and Mary

WANT TO BE AN EXPERT? If you are a professional who has great advice, email publications@mgca.org and let us know that you are interested in being one of our future Experts.

Jennifer Leung / college of william & mary You should speak to the VP Recruitment one on one and share with her that you, personally, found her comment offensive. While you can’t speak for the women who have struggled with eating disorders in the past, you can empathize with them and think that the comments potentially have more impact than your VP Recruitment anticipated. I would then suggest to the President and officer in charge of educational programming that the chapter bring in a speaker about eating disorders and another speaker on healthy living (nutrition and exercise). It might just be that the VP Recruitment wasn’t trying to be mean (or maybe she was), but that she is just ignorant about this increasingly prevalent issue and everyone could benefit from some education on the issue.

CHAD ELLSWORTH / UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA Body image issues and eating disorders certainly are nothing to be taken lightly, and anybody should be careful in making general statements about others’ appearance. If you know of others who were upset by her remarks, it may be helpful for one or two of you to share that with the Vice President of Recruitment. She may not have been aware how those comments could affect people differently, so it is important to approach her with care and concern. It may be a good opportunity to begin a dialogue about what the chapter is looking for in new members through recruitment. In other words, what values are important for your chapter, and how can potential new members exemplify those standards. Then, you can focus on what you’re really looking for.

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847.571.8517 024 // connections // 2009.spring

Police Raid Bucknell Sig Ep fundraiser Police issued 85 underage drinking citations Friday night, mostly to students, when the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board (LCB) busted a party held at Big Andy’s Bar & Grill in Milton.

The event fundraiser was called “Pandamonium” and was sponsored by the brothers of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity.

The number of citations issued “is kind of uncommon,” said Sergeant Jeffrey McGinnis, the LCB officer handling the case.

According to a police report, the management at Big Andy’s had contacted the Milton police to alert them of suspected underage drinking.

“The goal of the event was to raise money to save a panda in China through the Wolong [Nature] Reserve,” said [the chapter’s president].

More than 350 people signed up for the event. Students attending paid a $20 fee in advance and were bused to the party from campus the night of the event.

The University recently implemented a new policy to ban events from being held at Big Andy’s. This ban covers all events that need to be approved by the Dean of Students’ office. The decision was made as part of the University’s “risk-management review” and was “based on information about previous events at that venue,” said Tom Evelyn, director of media relations.

We don’t know about you, but when we think of panda bears, we automatically think of getting drunk! Okay, maybe not, but no one can deny that a large majority of people do, in fact, think of getting drunk when they think of fraternities. There are several things wrong with this picture, but the fact that these students, and thousands of others like them, continually perpetuate the stereotype that Greeks=Drunks while simultaneously ask why it is that Greeks get a bad rap is just the beginning.

Hosting what seems to be a free-for-all alcoholic event with underage students is clearly at the surface of the situation. We can’t think of any new and exciting ways to say it: underage drinking is against the law. It really doesn’t matter if you think the law is stupid, it’s still the law.

Also, what happened to using a little creativity in planning philanthropic events? Collecting a cover at a bar is the easy way out. As far as we’re concerned, this plan was a lazy way to raise money, even in the best-case scenario. The idea of philanthropy is not just shelling out money to a cause. The problem with getting your friends to give you $20 for your chapter philanthropy is that eventually you have to give them $20 for THEIR philanthropy… and that’s not raising money, it’s trading money.

Finally, this event was held at a bar that was recently banned from hosting university events. The article doesn’t say why, but we think it’s safe to assume that this place has a history of serving underage people.

Life really is just a series of decisions; some of those decisions are easy and have little impact on the course of your life, such as ‘shall I have white or wheat bread?’. However, other decisions are difficult and have a much more significant impact on our lives, such as ‘should I use my fake ID?’ or ‘should I drink underage at Big Andy’s?’. Some things are just not worth doing, even if everyone else is – like getting arrested.

URI Phi Kappa Psi expelled on drug, destruction violations A fraternity has been ejected from the University of Rhode Island under a “three strikes and you’re out” policy following a December raid in which a 20-year-old student was charged with a felony count of drug dealing.

The Phi Kappa Psi fraternity is banished for 18 months and cannot reoccupy its chapter house for four years, said URI’s vice president for student affairs.

University police, assisted by South Kingstown officers, entered the house with a search warrant at 4 a.m. December 5. The police said they found a locked safe in a closet.

NAU Pike suspended for hazing activities

BUSTED! Stupid Things that You Have Done Lately

[An unnamed student] described the [chapter’s pledge] program as being eight weeks long, followed by a three-day “initiation week.” [He] said for the three weeks prior to initiation week, hazing activities occurred each Wednesday.

The first allegation was for “big brother” night, the first of the three Wednesday activities; pledges were blindfolded and pillowcases were placed over their heads. Pledges were placed into trucks and driven to a location off Lake Mary Road. The road was rough and hard on the pledges, and the truck was driven fast.

The police pried open the safe, the report said, after [the student] refused to disclose the combination. Inside, they found 100 grams of marijuana, miscellaneous pills, two scales, a 16-gigabyte iPod, $130 in cash and what they described as a drug ledger.

Pledges were asked to put pillowcases over their head to keep the location undisclosed. During the entire transportation, speeds were road-appropriate for college students.

In November the fraternity was found in violation of URI policies on substance abuse and destruction of property, which included holes punched in the walls, furniture destroyed and glass bottles smashed in the shower and bathroom.

Another allegation regarded “glow stick night.” Pledges were taken to the woods wearing blindfolds and pillowcases over their heads. Pledges were instructed to search for three glow sticks while fraternity members threw rotten fruit at them, ultimately causing injuries.

The president of the Interfraternity Council at URI said the action was appropriate. “The events that took place at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house … stand against the values and beliefs shared by the Greek community,” he said.

Pledges were provided with protective goggles and given soft, rotten vegetables.

Also according to allegations, pledges were placed in a bathroom on the first night of initiation week with pornographic pictures on the wall where they stayed for two to three hours.

They were later served breakfast made of “rotten cheese, rotten tomatoes, etc., which was described as a ‘soup.’”

For those who are screaming “Personal use!” or are thinking, “100 grams?! Come on, that doesn’t seem like that much, give the guy a break!”, let us break it down for you: 100 grams is about 3.5 ounces. In case you didn’t know, an ounce of weed is about enough to fill a plastic sandwich bag and costs between $300-$400 depending on where you are, who you know, and how ‘good’ the weed is. Also, in case you didn’t know, most recreational marijuana smokers buy weed by the eighth of an ounce. This means that this guy had enough pot to sell to 28 people. So, the article doesn’t say this, but we can do the math: this guy had between $1050 and $1400 worth of marijuana in his safe. Either way you look at it, that’s a lot of pot, even if you’re that guy from Pineapple Express.

The fraternity was further accused of “branding” pledges’ buttocks with dry ice, leaving “many types of injuries including bruising, blistering, and bleeding” on the second night of initiation week.

Yikes. Remind us again why people join fraternities and sororities that haze?

Yes, there are some activities out there that are considered to be hazing on most campuses and/or in most organizations that might be up for interpretation, like making new members take a fraternity history test or having pledge/new member meetings.

But, other actions are obviously wrong, like branding your brothers with dry ice.

Okay, we get the fact that lots of (dare we say most?) people have smoked pot once or twice… even our current President has admitted to it. So, although there isn’t as much of a stigma around recreational marijuana use as there used to be, you still can’t sell it… especially out of your fraternity house! We realize that college is expensive, but there are lots of other ways to make some extra cash.

Hazing is usually defined as being ‘any action taken or situation created that intentionally causes embarrassment, harassment or ridicule and/or risks emotional and/or physical harm’. But, for those of us still wondering, HazingPrevention.org offers a few self-reflective questions if you are unsure whether or not something is hazing:

In addition to the fact that selling marijuana is illegal, we still have our fraternity values hiding behind the door… (Oh! Here they are! Silly old values, always sneaking up on us!) According to the Phi Kappa Psi website, one part of the fraternity’s mission states this: “The Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity is an association of men of integrity who strive to develop the individual in his intellect, in his involvement in the community, and in his faith.”

References

Cooksey, C. (2009, January 22). NAU Pike suspended for hazing activities. JackCentral (Online version of The Lumberjack).

Retrieved January 22, 2009 from: www.jackcentral.com/news/2009/01/fraternity-suspended-for-hazing-activities/

The fraternity’s vision includes the following language:

HazingPrevention.org. What is Hazing?

Retrieved March 9, 2009 from: www.hazingprevention.org/page.php?page_id=21927.

“The Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity is committed to bettering individuals in order to improve society. To that end, we strive to provide undergraduate members with the opportunity to get as much out of their campus experience as possible, while working within their chapters to effect change in their communities.”

Hazing Prevention Policies for the State of Arizona. § 15-2301.

We’re just not sure that selling marijuana is in alignment with developing intellect and involvement in the community nor does such a habit or pastime allow this one member to be effecting positive change in his community. We’ve heard it all before: “Why are Greeks held to a higher standard?” Hello, other non-affiliated students on campus do not take a vow to uphold values like ‘effecting positive change’, ‘intellect’, and ‘integrity’. So, if you want to be in the weed selling biz, don’t join a fraternity.

McPhee, M. (2009, March 6). Police raid Bucknell Sig Ep fundraiser. The Bucknellian.

Retrieved March 8, 2009 from: www.bucknell.edu/x10286.xml.

Naylor, D. (2008, January 24). URI Phi Kappa Psi expelled on drug, destruction violations. Providence Journal.

Retrieved January 25, 3009 from: www.projo.com/news/content/URI_FRAT_EJECTED_01-25-09_L5D2QBA_v11.33e4bc5. html.

Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity. Phi Psi Today: Vision.

Retrieved March 9, 2009 from: www.phikappapsi.org/Today/Vision” http://www.phikappapsi.org/Today/Vision.

The goal of Busted! is to call attention to an event, situation, or practice that has actually occurred and utilize it as an experience that others can learn from.

It is commonly said that fraternities and sororities suffer from unfair stereotypes and are undervalued for our true purpose as values-based organizations. Unfortunately, some fraternity and sorority members commonly mock these stereotypes by behaving in ways that only solidify them in the minds of others. Busted! aims to confront these stupid decisions via direct confrontation.

Actions such as these do nothing but reinforce the negative stereotypes of today’s fraternities and sororities.

Embarrassed? Then knock it off.

026 // connections // 2009.spring

On December 2, the Theta Rho Chapter of Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity… was suspended until December 31, 2013 for violating the Student Code of Conduct by hazing pledges.

Would I feel comfortable participating in this activity if my parents were watching?

Would we get in trouble if the Dean of Students walked by?

Am I being asked to keep these activities a secret?

Am I doing anything illegal?

Does participation violate my values or those of my organization?

Is it causing emotional distress or stress of any kind to myself or others?

Let’s assume that the chapter elders do not believe that the above actions are causing emotional distress. Hey, let’s even assume the pledges believe this too. We are still pretty certain that these guys would be a little uncomfortable, if not completely embarrassed and freaked out, if their moms, dads, and Deans all of a sudden showed up while they were searching for glow sticks while being pelted with rotten food.

The state of Arizona is one of the 6 states that does NOT have a law against hazing (don’t get us started; this is a whole other story). But, the state does have a statute that states: “Every public educational institution in this state shall adopt, post and enforce a hazing prevention policy. The hazing prevention policy shall be printed in every student handbook for distribution to parents and students.” Therefore, although the article doesn’t state this directly, NAU does have a policy against hazing and that policy is outlined in detail in their student handbook for all to see. So, no one can really say they didn’t know.

By the way, did you know that at Northern Arizona University the fraternities and sororities all live in the residence halls? So, does this mean that this crazy behavior occurred on campus in a residence hall? While that certainly doesn’t make these actions any worse, it does make it difficult to comprehend how the chapter could get away with all of this.

Q

What are the current social issues facing students today? How do Greek chapters give members the positive edge in understanding how to deal with these?

Meeting new people I think is definitely huge because most students, especially incoming freshmen have a hard time putting themselves out there and mingling. The Greek system is great because we have a huge support circle; once you join a chapter you join a huge family. That family provides friendship, study partners, support with stress and problems from school, home life, work, etc.

Being organized and balancing tasks is another issue students face especially with the newfound freedom most people feel when they get to college. Greek chapters really prove how to balance and show that it may be hard but it’s possible to get it all done and still have fun.

Angela Caban | Sigma Sigma Sigma Minnesota State University – Mankato

the wall I think that a lot of the social issues students are facing today are the same that all students have faced in the past. However, I do also think we may have these issues weighing down more. As Greek chapters, we promote all the positive qualities an individual, as well as a collective group, can promote. We emphasize the importance of what really matters in life, show others how to lead, and give to the community. When so many people are struggling to make it in life, I feel that we can make a difference.

It is the small things that count, and if you start small your Greek community is going to really have a positive impact on the lives of others.

Programming and showing by individual example is how, I feel, we are able to show members how to deal with the present social issues.

Jennifer Salmela | Sigma Sigma Sigma Minnesota State University Mankato

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028 // connections // 2009.winter

For more info, contact Jeremy Turner at ANGELA CABAN

We know you have opinions and advice to share with your fellow Greeks! If you would like to be featured on The Wall, go online to www.mgca.org/services/connections and submit a response to the posted question.

If your response is chosen for publication, you will be contacted for a photo.

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This month’s contributors:

 800.895.6024 |  jeremy@chaptercommunications.com www.chaptercommunications.com

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