Wired That Way

Written by Vismaya Rubin

“Neurons that fire together, wire together.” (Neuroscientist Herman Hebb)

Ever hear someone say, “That’s just the way I am?” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”

There is some truth to the former statement. According to neuroscientist, Herman Hebb, “neurons that fire together, wire together’. (1948) He discovered that when someone learns something, neurons connect with other neurons.

These pathways in the brain are formed and reinforced by repetition. This is why behaviors that once took some thought, become automatic.

In addition to learning new skills, humans can also learn emotional behaviors which ultimately run-on autopilot and make up someone’s personality.

People who are negative, do not go out of their way to be negative, over time, their brain is wired to see things through a negative lens.

The good news is that since the brain is malleable, new pathways can be formed. It may not be easy at first but it is doable.

1. Start by noticing your patterns. Are you complaining and comparing? Are you rehashing traumas and losses? What stories are you sharing with your loved ones and friends? Are you worrying about events that haven’t happened yet?

2. Redirect those patterns. Choose a mantra you will repeat to interrupt the negative thoughts or stories. The more you do this, the easier it will get. Change the ending of unfavorable scenarios to the outcome you would like to see (even if you don’t believe it’s possible).

By interrupting the pattern, you are stopping neurons from wiring together.

3. Practice GRATITUDE. Look for reasons to feel grateful.

Every few hours, ask yourself the following questions:

W: Who or what made a difference for me?

I: What did I do for myself or others?

N: Did I try something new?

S: What made me laugh or smile until my sides hurt?

Bottom line, the brain is malleable and you can teach an “old dog new tricks”!

The feminine and the masculine both exist within every human being. They become Divine when we connect them to the universal spark that is within and accessible to each of us. However, the strength of the signal and the impact of it in our lives, can be greatly affected by our childhood wounding, which shows up as the Wounded Feminine and/or Wounded Masculine. The level, to which we as individuals, have opened ourselves to their presence in us and learned to balance them, is the level to which we are able rise to our highest potential. Any divide between the two will show up as separation.

As spiritual beings having a human experience, we seem to know this. Yet we still often separate into women’s circles and men’s groups. None of these are bad or wrong and each has an important place. But how often will a women’s circle know or invite the perspective of the masculine or how often will a men’s group present a feminine point of view? If these are the places where women and men learn, when will we ever learn about each other from each other?

We have been taught that women and men are completely different. But is this true? Is it possible that both men and women desire the same thing? And what is that thing? Connection; deep, powerful, transformative connection.