PomP, circumstance and regret

The silly graduation moment with a serious impact

I remember two things about my high school graduation ceremony, which is one more than I remember about my college graduation.

Our high school commencement speaker was a guy none of us knew, and to this day, I can’t remember his name. I don’t remember what he said, either, which was par for the course back then since he was old and outof-touch, and I was young and wise.

But I recall the guy’s high-pitched cackle, registered over the rigged-up sound system on the football field, when a group of fellow grads went through with our preplanned “spontaneous” toss of mortarboards high into the air after the last of us crossed the stage.

The other thing I remember? My mortarboard, clutched in my hand the whole time, failing to join its compadres in the air.

I had been told of the celebration plan right before the ceremony, and I figured lots of classmates would participate. But I was concerned and spent too much time pondering the repercussions.

What if my mortarboard didn’t come straight down to me? What if a classmate trampled it in the inevitable scramble? What if I didn’t see that ultimate collectible again?

A decision of that magnitude just can’t be made on the spur of the moment, and something like a graduation mortarboard requires proper care.

So my mortarboard went from head to hand and back to head again, destined for what I assumed would someday be an honored place in my life and home.

I’m not sure why this relatively meaningless story came back to me this month, other than the story about high school grads overcoming difficult odds got me thinking (naturally) about myself.

These students were dealt a losing hand, but they haven’t let things such as AWOL parents, drug dependency or lack of money stop them from getting where they want to go.

There’s something to be said for figuring out what you want to do and then just doing it — no overthinking, no hand-wringing, no regrets.

That’s a two-part equation, though, with the first part difficult and the second part nearly impossible.

More than once, we’ve all been where these students stood, facing a crossroads and needing to make a decision about which leg of the multi-pronged road of life to take. And most often, most of us stick with the direction we’re already headed rather than taking the road seemingly less traveled, which often is the road we really want to take in the first place.

In fact, there have been precious few decisions I truly regret, while the decisions I regret most are the paths I didn’t take because I was afraid of taking a chance.

Luckily, there have been few of those, too, in large part thanks to the mortarboard incident. Immediately after the ceremony, I knew it would have been fun to take a chance, cut loose and do something with no real consequences.

But it was too late; I had missed the moment, and there was no do-over.

Graduation was the last time I saw that mortarboard. It’s probably in our house somewhere, but the cap itself means nothing to me now. What I could have done with it — what I should have done with it, though that’s something to regret.

DISTRIBUTION PH/214.560.4203

ADVERTISING PH/214.560.4203 office administrator: JUDY LILES

214.560.4203 / jliles@advocatemag.com advertising sales director: KRISTY GACONNIER

214.560.4213 / kgaconnier@advocatemag.com display sales manager: BRIAN BEAVERS

214.560.4201 / bbeavers@advocatemag.com senior advertising consultant: AMY DURANT

214.560.4205 / adurant@advocatemag.com advertising consultants

CATHERINE PATE

214.292.0494 / cpate@advocatemag.com

NORA JONES

214.292.0962 / njones@advocatemag.com

PATTI MILLER

214.292.0961 / pmiller@advocatemag.com

JENNIfER THOMAS VOSS

214.635.2122 / jvoss@advocatemag.com fRANK McCLENDON

214.560.4215 / fmcclendon@advocatemag.com

JESSICA JENKINS

214.292.0485 / jjenkins@advocatemag.com classified manager: PRIO BERGER

214.560.4211 / pberger@advocatemag.com classified consultant

SALLY ACKERMAN

214.560.4202 / sackerman@advocatemag.com marketing director: MEGHAN RINEY

214.292.0486 / mriney@advocatemag.com

EDITORIAL PH/ 214.292.2053 publisher: RICK WAMRE

214.560.4212 / rwamre@advocatemag.com managing editor: CHRISTINA HUGHES BABB

214.560.4204 / chughes@advocatemag.com senior editor: KERI MITCHELL

214.292.0487 / kmitchell@advocatemag.com editors

EMILY TOMAN

214.292.2053 / etoman@advocatemag.com

RACHEL STONE

214.292.0490 / rstone@advocatemag.com web director: CHRISTY ROBINSON

214.635.2120 / crobinson@advocatemag.com senior art director: JYNNETTE NEAL

214.560.4206 / jneal@advocatemag.com art director: JULIANNE fOWLER

214.292.0493 / jfowler@advocatemag.com designers: JEANINE MICHNA-BALES, LARRY OLIVER contributing editors: JEff SIEGEL, SALLY WAMRE contributors: SEAN CHAffIN, BILL KEffER, GAYLA KOKEL, GEORGE MASON, BLAIR MONIE, ELLEN RAff, MEGHAN RINEY photo editor: CAN TüRKYILMAZ

214.560.4200 / cturkyilmaz@advocatemag.com photographers: MARK DAVIS, DANNY fULGENCIO, ALISON fECHTEL, LORI BANDI

Advocate Publishing 6301 Gaston Avenue, Suite 820, Dallas, TX 75214

Advocate, © 2011, is published monthly by East Dallas – Lakewood People Inc.

Contents of this magazine may not be reproduced. Advertisers and advertising agencies assume liability for the content of all advertisements printed, and therefore assume responsibility for any and all claims against the Advocate. The publisher reserves the right to accept or reject any editorial or advertising material. Opinions set forth in the Advocate are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the publisher’s viewpoint. More than 200,000 people read Advocate publications each month. Advertising rates and guidelines are available upon request. Advocate Publications are available free of charge throughout our neighborhoods, one copy per reader. Advocate was founded in 1991 by Jeff Siegel, Tom Zielinski and Rick Wamre.