LAPBC NOTES

By the LAPBC Staff*

Developing Resilience

During the COVID-19 pandemic, resilience became a popular term used to describe everything from supply chains to toddlers. Resilience is actually defined as our ability to adapt well and recover quickly after stress, adversity, trauma or tragedy. People with honed resiliencies may exhibit individual strengths and also have three common attributes.

One, they are realists and are able to accept their current circumstances. This means we need to accept that we are in the middle of a difficult period, that there is uncertainty surrounding our futures and frankly that we are scared. But it also means we need to recognize that this is a common experience, that there are many ways we can perceive this reality and that there is hope that this period and how we feel about it will change.

Two, resilient people are able to find meaning and purpose in their lives even during trying periods. A famous example about the development of this ability is the story of Victor Frankl and his ability to cope in a concentration camp during the Second World War. Frankl reminds us to focus on those things that make us feel valued and whole. Meaning and purpose take many forms, but they can be as simple as maintaining healthy working and eating habits and staying connected to your family and colleagues. We can also shed habits and relationships that steal our energy and sap our selfworth.

Finally, resilient people are improvisers, and one of the tiny benefits of the COVID-19 pandemic was that it caused us all to improvise and find new ways of living. The ability to shape our environment and resources to meet our true needs is a skill that has outlasted the pandemic. Maybe you have become a Zoom or Teams expert, learned how to workout in your home, or become a creative chef or an educator within your family. It does not matter. If you are doing your best with what you have and finding new ways to get things done, then you are improvising—a key element of being resilient.

There is significant research and literature that suggest we can develop our resilience—that it can be increased through training. For example, one trait of resilience can be enhanced by learning to balance the positive and negative feelings generated by the positive and negative experiences in our lives. Put simply, the experiences of the positive events in our lives bolster our ability to cope with the negative events. By recalling the positive feelings and coping strategies, we are able to rely on these when confronted by the stress, anxiety and fear that come with negative life events. This form of resilience builds self-reliance.

The practice of using positive experiences to fuel us can be harder than we might expect. As lawyers and as human beings, we are hard-wired to focus on the negative. Even though the research shows that we actually experience three times as many positive events in our lives as we do negative ones, the majority of our focus and mental energy is expended on the negative things that happen to us. The positive things can easily melt into the background of our daily lives, and we can start taking them for granted. We have an inherent evolutionary negativity bias to overcome: we as a species would not have survived long if we had ignored dangerous wild animals to focus on the beautiful flowers. In addition to the survival instinct, some of us also focus on external negatives as protective devices for own sense of self—for example, finding in faults in others to make ourselves feel better. Further, some of us spend far too much time and energy on the things that deplete us rather than the things that build us.

So here is a quick three-minute exercise. Think about a positive life experience you have had. It can be anything from a recent compliment from a work colleague, to finishing a tough workout, to a hug from a loved one. If you are stuck, have a look around you. We often capture these moments with physical mementos like photographs, medals, souvenirs and art. Now close your eyes and remember how that felt, what you were thinking about at the time, how your heart was beating, the joy and calm, the sense of accomplishment and the feeling of satisfaction. Keep your eyes closed and take ten full deep breaths thinking only about how that positive experience felt. Now open your eyes; those feelings are your indicators of what is meaningful and important to your life. Current challenges and stresses can be balanced against them, and we need to remember the positive event is the one worthy of our time and attention, not the negative ones. Find moments in your day to revisit a positive event, especially if you are becoming overwhelmed with negative ones, and build your resilience.

At LAPBC, we are always available to help at 604-685-2171 or 1-888-6852171 or <info@lapbc.com>, and you can check out our website at <www.lapbc.com>.

The Lawyers Assistance Program of British Columbia is an independent organization of members of the legal community (lawyers, judges families and support staff). We provide peer support and referral services to help people deal with personal problems, including alcohol and drug dependence, stress, anxiety and depression. We are volunteers and staff committed to providing confidential, compassionate and knowledgeable outreach, support and education. We seek to foster collegiality among our peers and to promote health and well-being in our community. You can reach LAPBC by telephone at 604-6852171, toll-free at 1-888-685-2171 or via the LAPBC website: <www.lapbc.com>.

Compassion. Support. Education. All provided in the strictest of confidence. Every call we receive is treated as confidential. FOR