managing your practice Speaking Tips from a TEDx Speaker Coach

Acquire the skills outlined in this article and you will be well on your way to becoming an effective and confident communicator.

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By Amy Wolff

Good eye contact is when you talk to one person at a time, 3-4 seconds a person.

As a speaker coach for TEDxPortland (Oregon), the largest annual TEDx event in the United States, I’d like to debunk a huge myth about those TED Talk speakers you watch. (Check out TED.com if you want to learn about TED Talks.)

They aren’t born as naturally gifted speakers. In fact, none of us are. Most great talks are simply evidence of hard work paying off.

The problem I’ve encountered, and perhaps you’ve experienced as well, is that most people want to get better or feel more comfortable at presenting, whether it’s to clients, partners, teams or management, but they don’t know how. Let’s pull back the curtain and discuss the four foundational speaking skills for every effective and confident communicator.

Eyes: Good eye contact is talking to one person at a time. This first skill is the most important: eye contact. Most people think they’re making good eye contact when, in reality, they’re scanning their audience, reading their slides, or darting their eyes to the ceiling or floor.

Good eye contact is when you talk to one person at a time, 3-4 seconds a person.

You should be genuinely talking to them, not at them, which is why presenting is really just a series of mini, one-on-one conversations. In individual meetings we can make longer eye contact without being creepy; why should that change while presenting?

Hands: Gestures and a neutral posture help us look more comfortable and grounded. Are you a ring-spinner? Hand-washer? Pockets person? Talk too much with them? The odds are that, in between these odd behaviors, your hands consistently come together in front of your chest or stomach. Instinctively we do this to defend our core when we feel uncomfortable or under threat. Unfortunately, it closes us off from the people we’re trying to influence.

Learn to put your hands in neutral position, hands hanging at your side, feet standing hip-width apart. This grounds you and makes you look calm and composed even if it feels unnatural or stiff. Add meaningful gestures to your delivery that help punctuate your ideas. Make sure to make your gestures large. Small weak gestures make you look tentative and unsure. After the gesture, slowly drop your hands back to neutral and continue this balance.

Voice: A strong vocal delivery is critical, especially in virtual presenting and on the phone. The third foundational skill is our voice. No one has tolerance for a monotone umm-and-uhhh ridden delivery. That’s why having appropriate variety/inflection, emphasis on key words or phrases, is important. Also listen to your pace. When the heart rate spikes and we feel the pressure of the opportunity, we tend to speak faster and we’re perceived as weak or lacking control.

Finally, listen to find out if you’re pausing at your periods, commas or question marks. These are where filler words (umm, uhhh, and, so, right?) generally sneak in. Instead, honor your punctuation with a second-or-two pause. The silence may feel like forever, but I assure you, it’s not!

Movement: Using engaging movement in your space creates perceptions of authority and confidence. If all the other skills were part of Speaking 101, consider movement Speaking 401. We observe nerves in rocking, shifting, swaying or pacing, but there’s a better way. Use conversations in your audience as your reason to move confidently and naturally, maintaining eye contact with one person as you walk a few feet in their direction. Be careful not to look at your feet—a common temptation that makes your movement look like you are wandering. Make sure to plant your feet and stay steady for a few minutes so that your movement doesn’t easily become pacing.

Practicing these four foundational skills will help you develop control and convey confidence, no matter the setting or scenario. Whether you find yourself giving a TED Talk to thousands or you simply want to have a greater presence in your meetings, you now know what it takes to put your best foot forward.

Amy Wolff is Senior Trainer, Executive, Coach, TEDx Speaker Coach, with Distinction Communication. For more tips, the company’s online class and coaching services, visit www.distinctioncommunication.com