JSTC Newsletter 2014

JSTC mail very limited edition

2014 Perth Tour

Edition Vol. 1 No. 21 July 2014

THE NOOSA 2013 TEAM GODFATHER OF THE JSTC,

Ah Key gets some practise in for the big game

Pictured above from left back row, Hall, Withers, Garrett, Tallis, Dawson, McKinnon, Adams, Taig, Sneyd, Simson, Faram, front, Bell and Ah Key

A CHAMPION consults another champion, Ian McKinnon Naga 2013 and John Taig 2013 JSTC Champion

INDEX TO PRICELESS READING JSTC ITINERARY.................................................................. 3 ACCOMMODATION .......................................................... 4 TRANSPORT .......................................................................... 4 JSTC CONTACTS .................................................................. 5 REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR ............... 6-13 FROM THE JSTC ARCHIVES ........................... 14-20 LETTER TO THE EDITOR 2004............................... 21 THE HUMBLE CRAB & THE LOBSTER PRINCESS ..................................... 21 SOMETHING DIFFERENT ......................................... 22 HANDICAP Year by Year ..................................................... 23 2013 RESULTS ................................................................... 24 HONOUR BOARD FOR BOTH ENDS ................. 24

THE 2014 TEAM Adams Bell Cobbles

2

Crow Dawson Faram

Hall Key McKinnon

Sneyd Taig Tallis

PERTH 2013 JSTC ITINERARY Thursday July 17th

TRAVEL DAY

Qantas flight QF769 to Perth Leaves Melbourne 12.40pm Arrives Terminal 4, Perth at 3.00pm

Dining at the Hotel Friday July 18th

ROYAL PERTH GOLF CLUB

Golf Manager - Damien Todorovic (08) 6436 4900

Sunday July 20th

JOONDALUP GOLF CLUB/RESORT Pro Shop 08 9400 8812 Alan

Hit off 10.16am Collared shirt, no denim Carts included in price of $110.00 per head. (Inc. small bucket of balls and a sleeve as well for play).

Catering – Sue is supervisor (or Donna) 08 9400 8811

Dining at Modo Moi @ Crown 7.00pm Private room (Italian)

Hit off 11.00am No time sheet. Collared shirt, no denim Reciprocal x3. Each member 3 guests at $50.00

Dining at Royal Perth Golf Club Christmas in July NOTE - coat and tie required

Saturday July 19th

THE LINKS AT KENNEDY BAY

Lot 199 Port Kennedy Drive Port Kennedy WA 6172 08 9524 5991

Monday July 21st

LAKE KARINYUP GOLF CLUB

Pro shop contact Sean/Matt – 08 9422 8285 Club 08 9422 8222 – Jodie

Hit off 11.30am 3x reciprocal. Each member 3 guests at green fee of $55.00.

Carts available at $55.00 per cart.

Dining at the Lido in Peppermint Grove (Vietnamese)

Kitchen open from 11.00am Light lunch available if we get there in time.

Hit off 12.00pm

Collared shirt, no denim. $80 per head inc. carts.

Dining on the Swan River @ Halo restaurant

Tuesday 22 July

TRAVEL DAY

Qantas flight QF476 to Melbourne Leaves Perth 1.50pm Arrive Melbourne 7.20pm

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ACCOMMODATION RENDEZVOUS GRAND HOTEL 148 The Esplanade, Scarborough, 08 9425 1000 Conference bookings 08 9340 5711 All accommodation is at the Rendezvous Hotel, Scarborough. We all have separate rooms.

Accommodation will include buffet breakfast, morning paper, access to internet and wifi.

Deluxe rooms

Geoff Adams/Chris Bell Ron Cobbledick/ Ian McKinnon David Faram Robert Crow Frank Dawson/ Simon Sneyd John Taig

Superior rooms

Roger Key Michael Hall/ Richard Tallis

Right, after sharing a room with Bell for close to 20 years, Adams has finally trained Bell to hold his breath for 6 hours.

TRANSPORT HUGHES TRANSPORT

08 9365 9777 Bookings@groundtransport.com.au Contact Maddie

Even though he’s not on the 2014 trip, GAYLARD has been recruited to organise the buses!

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CONTACTS NAME

PHONE

EMAIL

ROOMS

Adams

0417221522

gadams@sheppartonadviser.com.au

Share Deluxe with Bell

Bell

0419312658

cbell@mcmedia.com.au

Share Deluxe with Adams

Cobbledick

0413979910

lynncobb@bigpond.net.au

Share Deluxe with McKinnon

Crow

0418577312

rmc@riordanlegal.com.au

Single Deluxe

Dawson

0418577898

dpsfrank@me.com

Share Deluxe with Sneyd

Faram

0438595544

djf@magistratescourt.vic.gov.au

Single Deluxe

Key

0417556780

drroger.key@bigpond.com

Single sup

Hall

0419873788

mikeh@mbmgroup.com.au

Share Sup with Tallis

McKinnon

0438215681

ianmckinnon@hotkey.net.au

Share Deluxe with Cobbledick

Sneyd

0418579355

Simon.Sneyd@ wyndhamhouseclinic.com.au

Share deluxe with Dawson

Tallis

0419528917

richard.tallis@talliswine.com.au

Single Sup

Taig

0418577046

johnt@taigbros.com.au

Single Deluxe

Welcome back to

COBBLES

5

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR TECH TIPS WITH MACCA

Now Taigy, this is how you make a phone call...

And this is how you

IMPROVE YOUR SWING...

Sorry Roger, mobile phones don’t give massages but if you switch it to VIBRATE and put it in your pocket...

6

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR Roger tries a new way to consume a COCKTAIL

After listening to this young lady’s story Roger said ”What’s a

PRETTY PLACE

like you doing in a drink like this?”

Roger said this was a result of a

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

but we all know it’s because of too much prune juice.

7

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR First day, first tee,

FIRST SHOT

of the 2013 JSTC

Macca barely makes it past the

LADIES TEE...

he already had one hand on the NAGA trophy

8

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR BEER O’CLOCK

at our favourite Noosa watering hole.

Bell, Tallis, Faram, Garrett and Hall

Frank tries to meditate his way back to

SUPREME PHYSICAL CONDITION

and back into the winners circle

9

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR LET THE GAMES BEGIN

From left: Faram, Simson, Garrett, Tallis, Ah Key and Withers

ROCKIN ON AT NOOSA SURF LIFE SAVING CLUB are Tallis, Bell,

Sneyd, Faram & Taig

10

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR Don’t worry Ribs,

I’LL LOOK AFTER YOU

Simson and Ah Key

TALK TACTICS

11

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR Ribs grabs a

POWER-KNAP

It seems that other things have been let go BUT NOT TALLIS’ GLASS

After viewing some

INTERESTING

content on the web, Bell sleeps likes a baby

12

REFLECTIONS OF THE 2013 TOUR

CREAK, GROAN, SNAP...

Tallis and Sneyd warm up

Sneyd flexes HIS SHAFT

13

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2000

THE MASTER and his apprentice McCaff.

McCaff, shouldn’t you be the master?

After being soundly thrashed by Cobbles and Adams at pool, a

MAJOR DUMMY SPIT

by Ribs and Douglas became imminent

Ribs: “Why are you

Judging by the look on P.J’s face the local water obviously

DIDN’T TASTE TOO GOOD

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PULLING A FACE like that P.J?” PJ: “It’s only water.”

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2000

Douglas gives Dolly a traditional Queensland welcome which we think put the WIND UP HER!

Taig checks his date DOLLY IS ALRIGHT.. or should that be Dolly’s date is alright?

Taig who secretely fancies himself as a vet makes sure that all passages are clear

PJ entertains what started out as a large crowd at Sanctuary Cove.

Taffy, Twitt and Faram begin their dance routine

15

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2008

Knock me over with a feather!

McCaffrey used the same ball for the whole of the first day...

McCaffrey and Hall show the tour’s NEW KIDS how it’s done

In peak PHYSICAL CONDITION (Johnno that is!) on the 2008 tour are Johnno, Twitt, Bugg and Taig

Macca gives the waitress A FEW TIPS... and some advice as well

Tallis, Garrett and McKinnon

Hall lets THE MOTHS OUT for some air

BROKE THEIR CHERRIES in 2008 as they were the new kids on the tour

16

MIRACLES STILL DO HAPPEN!

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2008

HARDER BELLY HARDER...

RED IS THE NEW GREEN... Johnno

WATER BOY... Bell at his second job

If I wave my arms around enough, maybe the bus driver will see me and stop?

ohh that feels good!

Ahh... one, aah... 99, 100 - right,

I’M READY TO GO!

bucks the trend and opts for a red shirt

Hang on a minute fellas,

I’VE FOUND A HOLE!

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JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2008

‘92 Peninsula Tour

‘95 Portsea Tour

‘98 Queensland Tour 18

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2008

‘92 PENINSULA CHAMPION, Rob Crow is presented with the coveted trophy by Chris Bell

‘97 CHAMPION Rob Crow is

presented with his trophy by Dave Faram, the ‘96 Portsea Champion

‘94 QUEENSALND CHAMPION

Ross Freer with ‘93 Champion Taffy Muntz

‘97 CHAMPION Rob Crow presents ‘98 Champion Simon Sneyd the coveted trophy

19

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of Tasmania 1997

“SETTLE DOWN Ah Key, that’s not this year’s trophy!”

Although BATMAN AND ROBIN were no where to be seen.. the penguin certainly was!

There were many surprises at the ‘97 JSTC Tour, but no-one expected MR BEAN to turn up with his long lost brother

20

FASHIONS ON THE FIELD played a major part of the ‘97 JSTC Classic... Frankena and Roletta are two regular entrants

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of Tasmania 1997

The crew of ‘93

Current and 1992 JSTC Champion Rob Crow congratulates 1993 Champion Gordon Muntz with 1993 Captain, David Faram

Don: “easy Bell, it’s going to take you more than a cuddle to get a discount on your next Benz, it took me a candle-lit dinner!”

Bell: “I think I’m doing pretty well so far.”

Taig: “It took a lot more than that for me!”

Twitt: ” Turn it up fellas, you’re going to have to do a lot better that this!”

21

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of Tasmania 1997

A clearly RELAXED Johnno who finished midfield on the ‘97 tour with a respectable 39 points

Darryl and Roly preferred a more traditional sytle of DANCING

22

After being caught with the Ah Key’s glasses, Adams was sentenced to spend an evening filled full of great advice with a slightly SHORT-SIGHTED AH KEY.

JSTC ARCHIVES

The NZ tour of 2003

Tour coach Darryl gives his star recruit. .. Mike Hall a proper dressing down for choking in front of goals.

Mike’s response ... to coach Darryl was, “but coach someone gave me a coat hanger”

Sneyd decided that McCaff’s red wine teeth were too much of a turn-on.

GETTING WARMED UP...

Cobbles, Freer, Bugg, Taig enjoy a quiet ale or three before their seafood platter. Just for the record, Adams didnt miss out on the pre feast feast.

Pictured from left: Adams, Bell, Bugg, Ah Key, Cobbles and Hunt hard at work on tour with Russell in the background. Ah Key was heard muttering “OK you blokes don’t pinch my wallet, give me a wedgie or pinch my arse.

23

JSTC ARCHIVES

The NZ tour of 2003

The seat belts on the bus were perfect for keeping slightly tipsy golfers from falling onto the floor and damaging themselves.

Gaylard spills his drink among other things. Oh dear Gaylard spilled his drink getting off the bus ... he doesn’t seem to have much luck with buses does he!

Members of the JSTC team selected their best clubs for this hole which happened to be their members. Clearly apart from the others Taig was overheard muttering that his set was adult size ... where as he felt the others were junior sets.

He was also heard saying “for this shot I’m selecting my great big Bertha with the non slip grip.”

Alistair at it again, trying to get rid of the yips.

“Damn it’s still not working, that bloody golf coach is hopeless’!

24

Hello, is that Ernie ... YOU’RE SACKED ... again”!

JSTC ARCHIVES

The tour of 2003

25

SOMETHING DIFFERENT You’ve got to be the worst caddie on earth.

I don’t think so, sir. It would be too much of a coincidence

The True Rules Of Golf The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse

Noting that her husband looked more haggard and disgruntled than usual after his weekly golf game, his wife asked what was wrong.

He answered, “Well, on the fourth hole, Harry had a heart attack and died. It was terrible!

The entire rest of the day, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry!”

A friend of Henry’s dies suddenly. A week later, he comes back to tell his friend how great Heaven is.

“Henry,” he says, “you won’t believe it, but there is golf in Heaven.”

“That is wonderful!” Henry replies.

“Don’t be so thrilled,” his friend tells him. “You have a tee-off time scheduled for Saturday.”

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HANDICAPS

Year by Year

HANDICAPS 2012

HANDICAPS 2013

HANDICAPS 2014

Adams Bell Bishop Bugg Crow Ennels Faram Garrett Gaylard Hunt Key McKinnon Sneyd Tallis Turnbull Withers

Adams Bell Dawson Faram Garrett Hall Key McKinnon Simson Sneyd Taig Tallis Withers

Adams Bell Cobbledick Crow Dawson Faram Hall Key McKinnon Sneyd Taig Tallis

26 6 13 9 13 9 9 20 19 21 23 20 6 22 26 23

24 7 19 6 21 12 26 20 29ish 7 23 20ish 26

26 9 18 13 17 7 12 28 20 8 22 21

Look out... Royal Perth Golf Club

HERE WE COME!

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RESULTS

2013 Results and Honour Board JSTC CHAMPION HONOUR BOARD

JSTC 2013 FINAL RESULTS 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th

Taig

403

Faram Bell Withers Simson Hall Sneyd

388 383 364 362 362 358

8th 9th 10th 11th 12th 13th

Key Tallis Garrett Dawson Adams McKinnon

PAST NAGA CHAMPIONS 2004 1992 Geoff Adams (inaugural) 2005 1993 Roly Hunt 2006 1994 Frank Dawson 2007 1995 Ah Key 2008 1996 Geoff Adams 1997 John Taig 2009 1998 Don Phillips 2010 1999 Alistair Douglas 2011 2000 Darryl Twitt 2012 2001 Darryl Twitt 2013 2002 John Taig 2003 Andrew Simson (inaugural)

McKinnon was deeply touched to take out the 2013

NAGA

28

353 345 340 340 324 305

Ron Cobbledick Geoff Adams Ed McKeon Darryl Twitt Ian McKinnon (inaugural) Ian McKinnon Roger Key Geoff Withers (inaugural) Roly Hunt Ian McKinnon

1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010

Peter Johnson David Faram Don Philips Rob Crow Ah Key Ren Falla Rob Crow Gordan Muntz Ross Freer Geoff Adams David Faram Rob Crow Simon Sneyd Peter Riordan Frank Dawson Simon Sneyd Ross Freer Peter Gaylard Ron Cobbledick Geoff Adams Ed McKeon Bruce Turnbull Mike Hall David Faram Jason Ennels (inaugural) 2011 Mike Hall 2012 David Faram 2013 John Taig From one champion to another John Taig receives the coveted JSTC TROPHY from four times champion, David Faram