NORTH NSW CONFERENCE NEWS
NOV
09
. . . T O N m ia
but i know I AM
“I am NOT!” I cried out in indignation, as I awkwardly pulled the cruel note from the back of my shirt. The sticky !"#$%&'"(()%*"+$%,")-%.$+$"(/'*% in childish scrawl the words: “I’ am stupid”. My cheeks coloured with embarrassment as my classmates laughed around me. The memory of that schoolyard prank conjures up the insecurities
of those precarious teenage years — insecurities that for many of us still linger into adulthood. Feelings such as: I am NOT smart enough. I am NOT pretty enough. I am NOT good enough.
Feelings of NOT-ness go back a long way. It’s the devil’s oldest trick. After all, it worked so well on Adam and Eve — “You guys don’t know enough, you are NOT good enough the way you are, but if you eat this fruit you will be like God” (author’s paraphrase of Genesis 3:5). And this deception is played out over and over again throughout history. Fast-forward a bit to Moses. Now here’s a man who knew what it was to have a case of the NOTs: s
NOT worthy (after killing an Egyptian and hiding out in the desert for 40 years)
s
NOT capable (being an 80 year old shepherd no longer in his prime)
s
NOT equipped (having a speech impediment doesn’t make for an effective public speaker making demands of world leaders).
So when God spoke out of a burning bush (don’t you love how God gets his attention here?),
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sending him on assignment back to Pharaoh in Egypt, no wonder stuttering, stammering, stumbling Moses says the words “Who am I, that I should go before Pharaoh?”. In other words, I am NOT the one you need, I am NOT good enough to do something like that. But the question was never about what MOSES could do, but rather what GOD could do. When you check out Exodus 3:5-15 you’ll notice that there is no time spent convincing Moses about what Moses can do, but much time is spent explaining to Moses what God can do. You and I tend to do the opposite don’t we? We would probably have explained to Moses how he was ideally suited to return to Egypt since he grew up there and knew the language, and reminding him how perfect he’d be for wilderness travel given his current occupation. We’d have spent time reviewing with Moses his resume and strengths. But God didn’t. The abilities of Moses were never considered. Not one word was spoken to recruit Moses. But many words were used to reveal God. Words such as “I AM”. In our insecurities, weakness and self-doubt, isn’t it encouraging (and exciting) to know that our God is the “I AM” — not the “I can” or “I will” or something in future tense — but the “I AM” in present
tense. The right here, right now God. The all-powerful, all-sufficient God. The “you can’t do it on your own but that’s why I died for you” God. The never changing “this is my name forever” God. That means He will never be past tense. He’ll never get old or tired or outdated or inadequate. And God chooses to partner with us (as He did with Moses) for His glory. It’s not about us. It’s about Him and what he can do in and through us, if we let Him. Sure, there’ll be times when we forget and think we can do it all by ourselves. Check out the incident with the rock in Numbers 20 when Moses started to think he had something to do with God’s miracles. But I thank God that He keeps reminding me to focus on His strength and not mine; to depend on Him and not on my own understanding; and teaching me that it’s not about me or what I can do but that it’s all about Him and what He’s already done. “And then He told me: My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into it’s own in your weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) I am NOT capable. I am NOT worthy. But I do know the one who is worthy — the I AM. Sharlene Guest, Director of Communications, Marketing & Public Relations
Staff applications close November 23, 2009. Apply online at http://www.nnswyouth.com Camper applications will be released on November 16, 2009 at 7:00pm. Apply online at http://www.nnswyouth.com
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NORTHPOINT // 2