decline, saying that it was a symptom of a much broader “loneliness epidemic”. COTTONBRO STUDIOS—PEXELS sex and God Christians have different views on sexuality compared to the wider culture. In the Bible, we see that God’s vision of sex is between a male and a female within a marriage. Genesis 2:24 gives us a picture of how God meant for sex to look: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The word “one flesh” in Hebrew is echad—it is the bonding between two people at the deepest parts of their being—it’s physical and spiritual, body and soul. Inside a committed marriage, God calls sex a “good” and “beautiful” thing.11 In response, we may consider this decline (especially amongst the young and unmarried) a blessing; a miracle even. However, as we can see, the decline is not due to a purified generation that has suddenly become sex-averse outside of marriage; nor is it a sign of a generation doing an exceptional job of harnessing self-control. Rather, it is a continuum of a lack of connection and a breakdown of relationships of almost every kind. That is, perhaps, the biggest problem of them all and is what has researchers around the world concerned.12 Statistics also show that people are struggling to date, form meaningful friendships, feel a part of a community, find a life partner and create a family compared to adolescents in previous decades.13 The proliferation of dating apps has made finding a 16 SIGNSOFTHETIMES.ORG.AU • APRIL 2023 hardwired for connection partner seem like an easier task. But a study done on Tinder showed that for every 57 matches, there was just one meet-up (that’s less than two per cent of matches resulting in an in-person meeting). For about every five meet-ups, only one sexual event occurred.14 For many young people these days, the idea of being in a healthy, stable and sexually healthy long-term relationship has come to seem like both a privilege and a rarity of sorts. In her book, The Lonely Century, economist Noreena Hertz describes “a world that’s pulling apart” in which increasing rates of social isolation and digital distractions are threatening our relationships. She, too, commented on the sexual God created us for closeness and hardwired us physically, emotionally and spiritually for connection. We crave it right from the moment we are born; not just occasionally, but as part of our day-in, day-out lives. Yet as a generation we have seemingly broken every loneliness record. These statistics should raise concerns for all of us, irrespective of what boat we sit in regarding our sexual beliefs, because it points to a world that feels more isolated, insecure, distracted and disconnected than ever. Of course, we should continue to have conversations about what healthy sexuality looks like, help young people foster healthy longterm relationships and uphold our own standards to God’s design. But more than that, we must lean into each other’s lives and find ways to form the kind of deep, meaningful connections we were created for—a solution that is not so simple and takes time and effort—but a direction we must commit to and work towards. We can’t just sit around and wait for these connections to find us or create themselves. As author Jennie Allen said in her book, Find Your People, “We [need to] learn to come together—showing up, speaking up, and calling each other up to a new way of life—instead of defiantly pulling ourselves apart.” Zanita Fletcher is an assistant editor for Signs of the Times. She writes from the Gold Coast, Queensland. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Herbenick D, Rosenberg M, Golzarri-Arroyo L. (2021). "Changes in Penile-Vaginal Intercourse Frequency and Sexual Repertoire from 2009 to 2018: Findings from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior." Arch Sex Behav. Available from: 7. 8. Tiggemann M, Anderberg I. (2020). "Social media is not real: The effect of ‘Instagram vs reality’ images on women’s social comparison and body image." New Media & Society, Available from: 9. 10. 11. 12. Herbenick D, Rosenberg M, Golzarri-Arroyo L. (2021). "Changes in Penile-Vaginal Intercourse Frequency and Sexual Repertoire from 2009 to 2018: Findings from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior." Arch Sex Behav. Available from: 13. Twenge JM. (2020). "Possible Reasons US Adults Are Not Having Sex as Much as They Used To." JAMA Netw Open. Available from: ; 14. Grøntvedt TV, Bendixen M, Botnen EO, Kennair LEO. (2020). "Hook, line and sinker: Do Tinder matches and meet ups lead to one-night stands?" Evolutionary Psychological Science. Available from: To learn more about relationships and intimacy for free, scan this code! APRIL 2023 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES.ORG.AU 17