Signs of the Times - October 2019

OCTOBER 2019

SWEET

Pleasure, sex & God

HOW TO HELP THE GRIEVING AFTER SUICIDE

SO YOU’RE CHURCH SHOPPING . . .

A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE ON THE WORLD TODAY

IN THIS ISSUE

OCTOBER 2019

SWEET PAGE 6 Strawberries, chocolate, the dating apocalypse and God’s holy hedonism.

20 CURRENT

4 WHAT IN THE WORLD 12 YOUR SAY Is porn killing sex?

WELLBEING

14 FATHERHOOD AND

CONNECTION Dads are vitally important 20 THE HEALING POWERS OF CAMPING Fresh, green, natural . . . and cheap!

24 GO HEALTHY FOR GOOD Health news for every body 32 HOW TO HELP THE GRIEVING AFTER SUICIDE

FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA 2

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54

48 CREATING A HEALTHY

CULTURE

SLEEP SCHEDULE 50 COMPARISON: THE THIEF OF JOY It’s time to steal it back!

54 TAYLOR SWIFT AND THE

FAITH

56 THE CUTTING EDGE What’s happening

26 SO YOU’RE CHURCH

SHOPPING . . .

Watch for pitfalls; set your priorities 38 THE GIFT OR THE PRESENT? Managing your wealth for eternity 42 SON OF GOD “Who is this?”

/SIGNSOFTHETIMES

MESSIANIC COUNTDOWN Seeking the ultimate Lover

SCIENCE & TECH

in research, engineering, science and technology?

FUN

62 CROSSWORD & SUDOKU Have you been paying

attention?

FROM THE EDITOR Connection. We all need it. Yes, people can be annoying—family, friends, workmates—but totally avoiding connecting with them is a path into the yawning chasm of loneliness.

This month’s Signs of the Times explores the many aspects of connection. I confess that we’ve featured a headline mentioning sex on our front cover to tempt you to pick up the magazine, but it’s for the most wholesome of causes, I promise! The sexual connection is one of humanity’s most fundamental relational links, but our culture seems hellbent on elevating sexual attractiveness, conquest and pleasure to a place where they are almost completely disconnected from togethernes, faithfulness and family. Ty Gibson points the way to a more complete, biblical and ultimately satisfying understanding of sex and pleasure in our cover article (page 6).

Sadly, when relationships go wrong, it’s often children who suffer the most. Patrick O’Neill urges non-custodial dads to maintain the connection wherever possible (page 14).

Grief expert Victor Parachin offers some tips for healing after the loss of a loved one through suicide (page 32) while Jenny Harrison encourages us to connect with nature through the simple (and cheap!) experience of camping (page 20).

And if you’re looking for a church community, check out the article on page 26—some great tips there. But, of course, the ultimate aim is to seek a connection with the One who made us all. May He bless you as you connect the dots.

Kent KENT KINGSTON Editor

VOL 134 NO 10 ISSN 1038-9733 EXECUTIVE PUBLISHER Brad Kemp EDITOR Kent Kingston ASSISTANT EDITOR Daniel Kuberek COPYEDITORS Jarrod Stackelroth Melody Tan GRAPHIC DESIGN Nerise McQuillan Theodora Amuimuia PHONE +61 2 9847 2222 EMAIL info@signsofthetimes.org.au WEBSITE signsofthetimes.org.au ADDRESS Adventist Media PO Box 1115, Wahroonga NSW 2076, Australia SUBSCRIPTIONS Kelli Geelan PHONE +61 3 5965 6300 Australia, $A26; New Zealand, $NZ26; South Pacific countries, $A41; Other countries $A51 Published since 1886, Signs of the Times is printed 11 times a year and is registered as a periodical.

Seventh-day Adventist Church (SPD) Limited ABN 59 093 117 689 NOTE The inclusion of a person or their image within does not imply their endorsement of the Seventh-day Adventist Church or its beliefs.

Unless otherwise stated, Bible verses are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, Anglicised. Copyright © 1979, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc®. Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton. All rights reserved worldwide.

COVER PHOTO: CoffeeAndMilk—Getty Images

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CU

R RENT

WHAT IN THE WORLD SHUNTED 173,196 Australians 55 years and older are reliant on the Newstart unemployment payment, more than any other age demographic. Centrelink data highlights our ageing population, showing the mature-aged population is struggling to find employment. Public and private sectors culling mature-aged workers has been blamed for the increase in unemployment.

—The New Daily

PUTTING DIFFERENCES ASIDE NEW ZEALAND

Jewish communities from New Zealand, Australia and the USA have donated $NZ700,000 to survivors of the Christchurch mosques massacre.

“The Jewish community . . . wanted the victims of the mosque attacks to know that we see them, we empathise with them and we support them,” said Stephen Goodman of the New Zealand Jewish Council.—The Jerusalem Post 4

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DAVID JACKMANSON—FLICKR, WIKIMEDIA COMMONS, MARCELA_NET—PIXABAY, ROYAL AIR FORCE MILDENHALL

AUSTRALIA

DAD THINGS

GIVE ME A (DEBT) BREAK USA

A shortage of medical practitioners in California has prompted the state government to clear student debts.

The initiative is aimed at stimulating an increase in applications to study medicine and dentistry. In exchange, the practitioners will have to devote 30 per cent of their caseloads to Medi-Cal (California’s public health cover) patients for five years. Almost $US70 million in debt relief has been delivered so far.—Napa Valley Register

1 in 5 Australians are dads.

The AVERAGE AGE of DADS with NEWBORN babies is 33.—McCrindle

144,000 of these are STAY-ATHOME DADS who look after the kids.

—McCrindle

82%

of surveyed Kiwi dads say they are a “GOOD/BETTER

THAN AVERAGE” parent.

—University of Auckland

FREE 10,000 SLAVES, EACH DAY FREEPIK, RASTUDIO, NADIA_BORMOTOVA­—GETTY IMAGES

AUSTRALIA

An Australian organisation has estimated that reaching the UN’s goal of liberating all slaves by 2030 requires 10,000 people to be freed each day. The Walk Free Foundation has also criticised 2018’s Modern Slavery Laws as having limited effect and suggested Australia’s migration policies may encourage slavery.

—The Saturday Paper

89% OF FATHERS who

want to be more involved in their child’s life say WORK

PREVENTS

that from happening.

—University of Auckland OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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t e e w S Pleasure, chocolate and the digital age.

Is Western culture hurtling towards a sexual apocalypse?

BY TY GIBSON

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sex without feelings

Last year Time magazine reported that the Florida House of Representatives passed a resolution declaring pornography a public health risk. According to the House report, research has found “a correlation between pornography use and mental and physical illnesses, difficulty forming and maintaining intimate relationships, unhealthy brain development 8

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and cognitive function, and deviant, problematic or dangerous sexual behaviour.”

Really? Looking at pictures produces “mental and physical illnesses”—this whole list of negative relational, behavioural and neurological effects? Yes, apparently so. All of this resulting from a mismanagement of pleasure.

A GQ magazine article by Scott Christian about young men’s porn use cites “a growing concern that it is beginning to affect our brains, our relationships, and even our bodies”, noting in particular, that a regular porn user’s capacity for neurological and physiological arousal is likely to decline over time. This is startling: red-blooded young men are becoming impotent! Because of porn.

In 2015, Vanity Fair ran an article with a provocative title: “Tinder and the dawn of the ‘dating apocalypse’.”

The article informs us that, due to the rise of dating apps like Tinder, things have changed in places where young adults gather in the

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J

ust imagine that you’re hungry and I have a bowl of fresh-picked, red, ripe strawberries. I extend the bowl and you put a strawberry in your mouth. The juicy nectar is baptising your tongue. And I ask you, “Are the strawberries sweet?”

Oh, yes. They’re fantastic!

But let’s just imagine that I have another bowl—this time of TimTams. And I say to you, “Here, have a Tim-Tam.” So you have one. And you have another. And another. And another. You are in Tim-Tam heaven!

And just as you swallow the last bite of your final Tim-Tam, I say, “Here, have another strawberry.” You put it in your mouth . . . and I ask, “What’s wrong?”

Not only is that strawberry not sweet, it may be bland—worse yet, it may be tart or even sour. But nothing has changed in the strawberries—they still have that juicy, red nectar; they still have their own natural sugar content. The strawberries are in fact still sweet, but you have altered your tastebuds in such a way that you can’t perceive their subtle sweetness.

evenings—bars and clubs and the like: “Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. Or not.”

Here’s what one interviewee, Amanda, told Vanity Fair: “There’s no dating. There’s no relationships— they’re rare. You can have a fling that could last like seven, eight months and you could never actually call someone your ‘boyfriend’. Hooking up is a lot easier. No-one gets hurt— well, not on the surface.”

I think Amanda’s a little sad. But she’s trying to be strong. Because her world is like this now. She’s saying people, especially females, are in fact getting hurt with this new dating scene, but they’re all trying to pretend that they’re not.

Sex without love has the overall net effect of killing the human capacity for the emotional dimension of love. I’m saying this, not as a pastor or a theologian, but from a purely scientific and secular standpoint. The world at large is observing the land-

scape of human sexuality and saying, “Something’s been lost in the process of all this ‘sex without feelings’.”

Just prior to his death in 2014, celebrated actor Philip Seymour Hoffman said something very insightful: “I would definitely say pleasure is not happiness. Because I would say I kill pleasure. I take too much of it and make it unpleasurable. . . . There is no pleasure that I haven’t actually made myself sick on.”

If it’s possible to enter into a biological-physiological experience in which strawberries are not sweet anymore, is it possible to manage your pleasure intake in such a way that you actually gradually diminish your capacity for pleasure?

“Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed” wrote the apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:19). “Having lost all sensitivity” or, as the King James Version puts it, “being past feeling”—that, to me, is probably one of the scariest lines in Scripture. Because once you’re “past feeling”, you don’t know you’re there.

pleasure 101

Here’s how the physiology of pleasure works. Dopamine is sometimes called the “pleasure molecule”; the chemical that produces the bliss of physical pleasure in your brain and through to your body. And then there’s oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”—the “cuddle chemical” or the “moral molecule”. It’s called OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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something like fidelity or loyalty from another human being. Sexuality is an animal urge that needs to be satisfied. Men are prowling the planet, looking for somebody, anybody with the right genetic markers, with whom to reproduce.

It has nothing whatsoever to do with old-fashioned ideas like love, trust and loyalty—forget all of that; none of it is real.

We’re watching human beings short-circuit their ability to perceive where sex might be pointing.

Because sex, I suggest to you, transcends itself by pointing to love.

Commitment. Trust. As writer and philosopher G K Chesterton said, “Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God.” That man may not know it in the moment, but he’s searching for a quality of love that finds no perfectly satisfying match in this world.

holy hedonism

There’s a pleasure thread running through the biblical narrative. It begins at the beginning of the story: God created humans, male and female, with the emotional, mental and biological capacity for pleasure.

He placed Adam and Eve in a garden where there was “every tree . . . pleasant to the sight and good for food” (Genesis 2:9) and told them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). A man and a woman in a garden, naked and making babies— what a picture!

God put the original humans in a

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the moral molecule because oxytocin doesn’t want merely what dopamine has to offer. Oxytocin wants to be “married” to dopamine, if you will.

Because, as we’re seing in hookup culture, pleasure without bonding gradually kills the capacity for pleasure.

Here’s what author C S Lewis tells us in just one sentence from his observation of life: “Sin is an ever-increasing craving for an ever-diminishing pleasure.” Sin is, I want four more Tim-Tams. And more.

And more. Until you’re in Tim-Tam heaven. And then in Tim-Tam hell.

Or sexual heaven—and sexual hell. Because anytime you try to manage your sexuality outside the bounds of trust, loyalty, commitment and bonding, you’re chipping away at your very capacity for pleasure— you’re fundamentally changing your physiology and your psychology until you end up, as Paul said, “past feeling”.

We, particularly in the educated, affluent, wealthy West, are playing with fire, sexually speaking. Scarlett Johansson, Will Smith, Jada PinkettSmith, Ethan Hawke, Shailene Woodley—celebrated Hollywood actors who people look up to—all identify as “sexual omnivores”. They want relationships that are “open”.

One of their key influences is Dr Christopher Ryan. He wrote a book with his wife called Sex at Dawn.

It says evolutionary theory dictates that human beings are essentially sexual omnivores, so you can’t expect

place that was perfectly calculated towards pleasure.

Human sexuality is celebrated in the Bible as a source of relational bliss.

Between all the accounts of the dysfunction and trauma that accompanies sin, the Bible gives us these snapshots of how human sexuality was supposed to be.

The Song of Solomon, for example, in chapter after chapter celebrates the eroticism of human sexuality. But then you come to the theological climax of the Song: “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal on your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord” (Song of Solomon 8:6).

What the lovers are saying to one another here is essentially, Let’s seal this relationship. Let’s bring our whole body and our whole mind into a sealed, irrevocable commitment to one another.

There’s fiery passion here and a connection between the Creator and the created. God is the one who made us the way we are and the Song of Solomon is telling us that sex at its best is a window of understanding into God’s love.

God is pro-strawberries, pro-pleasure, pro-sex, pro-family and pro-love. He invented sex in the first place. But to be pro-sex without being pro-love is not only damaging; it’s to miss something crucial. God is communicating to us that there is a kind of holy hedonism; a full-orbed pleasure—psychological, emotional, biological, familial—all incorporated into a single relational whole. And the gospel is, in part, the process by which God redeems pleasure; restores pleasure to its rightful state.

Sex at its best is loyal, trustworthy and monogamous. It’s beautiful, it’s a commitment and it’s for life. You and I are creatures of the divine image with the capacity to love like God loves. And He will redeem our capacity for pleasure and lead us to ways and patterns of love that are out of this world.

Ty Gibson is co-director and speaker of Light Bearers (lightbearers.org) and lead pastor of Storyline Church in Eugene, Oregon, where he lives with his family. This article is adapted with permission from a talk he gave at Kingscliff Adventist Church on the NSW north coast.

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Your

SAY

Sadly, sex industries are killing people’s relationships with their Creator.

—Jinniya McIver

Is porn killing sex?

It is teaching young people promiscuity and that there’s no real love, just sex for the sake of it. It warps the mind and dehumanises people.—Heather Petersen

Porn turns love-making into something sleazy. How can that be a good thing?

—Vicky Blythe Pope

Porn is responsible for so much evil in the world. From marriage breakups to child abuse and rape and murder.

—Anna Rodway

No matter what it is . . . it is BAD! —Alli June

I­n this day and age you’d be amazed how many men still don’t know how to pleasure a woman. All men should watch porn and learn something.—Janine Caldicott

join the conversation at facebook-SignsoftheTimes 12

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ELL B EING

Stress, overwork, legal troubles, marriage breakdown— there are so many obstacles to overcome in keeping a healthy connection with your kids. Yes, it’s hard work, but it’s worth it.

BY PATRICK O’NEILL 14

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FATHERHOOD & CONNECTION

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“ All children want

to know why they exist. A relationship with you will give them a clue as to why.

wanted to be there on time. The father never attended and did not call. The anger and disappointment was deafening.

There are happy stories, however.

One boy came to us, having never met his biological father. Yet he expressed a desire to do so, even though his mother’s explicit wish was that this should never occur. After consulting the child welfare authorities, who were in favour of a meeting between father and son, we agreed to begin a search. My investigations turned out to be fruitless, but I was contacted by child welfare a month later—they had found the father and he was willing to meet up. We set a Saturday for this to occur. When the father turned up to our church he was welcomed, yet his 15-year-old son was reserved. His father had been

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father’s connection with his children brings contentment to the child and also reduces anxiety in the father. But connection is not the child’s responsibility.

Dads, can I suggest that you value connection as your responsibility. I remember well falling out with one of my children. He was very angry at something that had happened, as well as disappointed that I had not fixed it. I decided to let him alone for a while. I discussed this situation with my brother after a few weeks. He reprimanded me: “You’re the father—you break the ice!” I rang my son and he was so happy I’d called—it was the key moment in our reconciliation that might never have occurred if I had not taken the initiative.

I have been a foster parent since 2007. Since then, I’ve heard too many sad stories of biological fathers not responding to my foster children’s search for them. Biological parents have no idea how much their children need them. All parents underestimate and misread their children’s communications. Statistics reported by the Daily Mail in 2013 were that 75 per cent of divorced parents said their children coped okay with the divorce. However, 72 per cent of those children stated they did not cope well at all.

I remember setting up a father/ son meeting at our foster care agency’s address for a certain date.

The 16-year-old boy and I turned up 30 minutes early because he really

a NASCAR mechanic, so when they began discussing cars the son soon opened up. They still have a relationship to this day.

get to know your child

All children want to know why they exist. A relationship with you will give them a clue as to why. Find out the child’s passions and talk about them. If one of your passions matches theirs then there is a connection. Know their birthdays, but don’t be Santa Claus. Children can become very shallow very quickly.

Finally, children want to know why you wanted them. You, Dad, are 50 per cent of that creation—that is why they want and need to know you. How many TV series have been spawned on this idea? One of my favourites is SBS’s genealogical reality

show Who Do You Think You Are? I’m always amazed at the pride shown by people when they find out an ancestor has been a great man or woman.

I’m never surprised at the shame they feel when they find out an ancestor was a murderer or slave trader.

your history is important

My children were so impressed when they found out that their great-grandfathers had fought in the First World War. They wanted to know how they were related, through me, to those men. One great-grandfather fought in Gallipoli.

Another great-grandfather fought with the French Foreign Legion. One grandfather was a tank mechanic; uncles and cousins were officers in the army. This knowledge connected the children to me because of the OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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teach your child

Today’s children get so much of their education from the internet, yet the internet cannot teach hard work or resilience. Parents will be the only ones to teach the child the “higher” values such as kindness, empathy and gratitude. When you engage and connect with your child according to their individual emotional style, you will also discover their cognitive passions and interests. Analyse your child’s passions and then teach them how to best use those passions in life. If you’re uncomfortable with a younger child playing first-person killing video

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games, stop them, yet be prepared to explain why. Teach maths and English (and their native tongue if appropriate). This will be difficult and that’s okay—you can teach your child resilience and hard work.

When I first met one of our foster children I was expecting him to be intellectually slow. However, I found a child with a passion for sport to the point where he knew a long list of players’ names and specific statistics. Whenever there is a discipline issue we reconnect through discussing sport—it breaks the ice immediately. I’m also able to teach him humility during these connecting times. Too many young boys “know everything”—I demonstrate humility by readily admitting when I don’t know a particular fact.

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historical relationship through me.

It also gave these children a sense of pride in themselves.

model respect

child’s life right now, this is someDisrespect comes too easily. Chilthing practical you can do. Every time you think of your child and dren are made up of yours and their wish you could offer help, comfort, mother’s DNA. There is nothing or advice, write, video or otherwise they can do about that, even if your record a message to them in your relationship with their mother is difown words. ficult or permanently ended. So do Johann Hari’s book, Lost Connecnot disrespect their mother’s family tree—it does nothing in the end but tions, is about depression. However, insult the child. However, you can the power of human connection judge disrespectful and dangerous can, in many cases, enable a person behaviours without mentioning any to outgrow depression. Hari states names. Even if the that depression child complains can be amplified about a specific by a bad job, Today’s children family member, a poor or no can I advise you relationship with get so much of not to make parents, no values, comment on the childhood trauma, their education person? Contina lack of respect from the and no hope for ue analysing the the future. But behaviour only. internet, yet the anything that lifts you from lost and found internet cannot despair, while it Good Men teach hard work shouldn’t be seen Project editor Lisa as a substitute Blacker identifies or resilience. for prescribed as a fatherless medication, can daughter—growhave an anti­ ing up she was depressant effect. You, Dad, can be obstructed from having any contact that antidepressant for your children with her dad at all. She says she by being connected with them as wishes her father had kept a diary much as you’re able. Take them or notebook of letters to her during camping, help them find a job, give this time. When she was finally able them respect, teach them values and to make contact she could have read believe in their bright future. these messages and understood how much her dad had loved her, and still Patrick O’Neill has qualifications in psychology and loves her. If you’re a dad in a similar management and is a father to six biological children, position, feeling helpless and unable two stepchildren and more than 30 foster children. He lives on NSW’s Central Coast. to make a positive difference in your OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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ELL B EING

THE

HEALING POWERS OFCamping Maybe the great outdoors is just what the doctor ordered!

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BY JENNY HARRISON

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adly, mental stress is on the rise, especially among families and young adults trying to carve out a place in the workforce. While there are many contributing factors, the exponentially increasing pace of life is one we can’t ignore. There is just too much our brains have to process in too little time. Our minds need a break to release all that stress. When we say “break”, many imagine a luxurious trip to Europe or a beach resort idyll in the Cook Islands. But a break doesn’t have to be so costly or travel-intensive. There has to be a way to take a break without breaking the bank.

Don’t let these dilemmas add to your stress; the outdoors may have an answer to your problems. Numerous scientific studies demonstrate the healing properties of nature. A trip that takes you closer to nature tends to have a positive impact on your mind and body. So, why not consider a camping trip as your much-needed break? There are very real reasons as to why camping is a great stress-reliever for those who are ground down by routine. Let’s take a look at why you should consider camping.

nature is a natural mood enhancer

As absurd as this statement sounds, there is no other straightforward way to say it. There have been several studies that back this claim, including one by the University of Michigan that concluded a few minutes’ walk in the bush can work

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you sleep better at a campsite

Despite the perceived dangers lurking around in the open, most people experience a more peaceful sleep while camping. Due to excessive stress and pollution, sleep quality tends to be poor in urban areas. The vast majority of people feel sleep-deprived. A lack of work/ life balance also results in a lack of sleep or a disturbed sleep cycle. One reason you’ll often sleep better in a camp is that you’re far away from pollution. Also, research suggests that our mind and body feel more rested when we abide by the sun’s natural schedule. A short nap at the right time can make you feel fresher than a long slumber at the wrong time. So, don’t be surprised if you don’t feel groggy, despite waking up with the dawn.

a break from the buzz

Your gadgets might seem like an indispensable part of your life, but did you know that these devices can add to your stress and anxiety?

Excessive use of these devices also puts a strain on your eyes and neck, 22

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“

There has to be a way to take a break without breaking the bank.

causing neurological issues. Your mind and body both require a break from the tech. When you’re camping, you often don’t have any other option but to unplug. Go a day or two without checking your emails and notifications and you will experience a clear reduction in your stress and anxiety level. Instead of your phone, connect to the people around you. Or, if you’re not much of a social animal, try connecting to your natural surroundings and enjoy their therapeutic benefits.

let’s talk about oxygen

The further you are from the city, the fresher the air you breathe. With more trees and greenery around you, the oxygen level in the bush is higher than in urban areas.

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wonders for depressive symptoms. A similar study conducted by Stanford researchers concluded that a stroll in natural surroundings could eradicate one of the major root causes of mental health issues: negative thinking. So, basically, being close to nature can make you feel happy, hopeful and fill you with positive energy.

What your grandma told you about breathing fresh air is actually backed by science. Yes, fresh air is good for your body as well as your mind. A higher level of oxygen helps your brain release a greater amount of serotonin, which can have an anti-depressant effect. People who spend more time in the open air tend to feel happier. So, if you ever feel like you need an extra dose of serotonin, just go camping!

cheap and cheerful

You don’t have to take out a loan or sell your car to go on a camping trip. There are many people who experience post-holiday stress solely because they’ve overspent on such trips. First of all, most of your camping supplies, such as tents and

bags, are a onetime expense. Other supplies, such as food, aren’t that expensive and general camping supplies are far cheaper than an airfare.

Basically, you can let your wallet take some rest along with your mind and body!

So, let’s sum it up. If you think you’re too busy or too broke for a break, think again. A camping trip may be the perfect way to get away from your stressful everyday life. Don’t keep waiting for the big break. Pack a lightweight camping tent and take refuge in the arms of nature until you are recharged and refreshed.

Jenny Harrison is a passionate technology and lifestyle blogger and freelance journalist based in the United Kingdom.

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ELL B EING

GO HEALTHY for good WITH

DR NERIDA MCKIBBEN

KIDS BEWARE!

GET MOVING. BABY.

GET OUT FOR LUNCH

Office workers often eat lunch at their desks while continuing to work. So Auckland researchers measured the impact of stressful mental tasks on eating. They found that, compared to eating quietly at rest, working on a computer while eating increased stress and post-meal hunger levels.

Seems it’s better to take a break rather than desktop dining.—Nutrients 24

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Australian researchers have found that exercise is as effective as other commonly used fertility treatments to improve pregnancy rates in women needing help with reproductive health issues, regardless of whether or not they lost weight in the process.—University of Queensland

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Energy drinks have been banned for under-16s in the UK. In Australia, a 500 ml can of energy drink could have 20 teaspoons of sugar and the same amount of caffeine as two cups of coffee. Research has shown that just one of these drinks can cause cardiac arrest in a healthy child.

Particular danger comes from mixing energy drinks with alcohol, which has caused a string of teen and young adult deaths globally, including the death of a Melbourne schoolgirl in 2012. Yet it seems unlikely that Australia will introduce a similar ban of sales of energy drinks to children.—The New Daily

ALIVE AND KICKING

There’s a four-fold increase in late-term stillbirth if a baby goes quiet in the evening, which is the time of day when foetal movements are typically stronger and more frequent. An Auckland University study has found that maternal perception of longer baby “busy times” was associated with a four-fold reduction in odds of late stillbirth.

Decreasing strength or frequency of foetal movements and the absence of almost daily hiccups were associated with higher rates of stillbirth.—Nature

LITTLE TOO SWEET

CAN’T MEASURE UP A study of Melbourne uni students found exposure to images designed to inspire fitness or leanness tended, instead, to cause lower body satisfaction, less positive moods and more negative feelings. Women in the study reported a weekly average of 8.4 “thinspiration” exposures and 9.5 “fitspiration” exposures, while men reported 2.3 and 4.9 exposures, respectively.

—Body Image

A new World Health Organization analysis of nearly 8000 food and drinks for kids under three years old has found that more than 30 per cent of the calories in half the baby foods studied came from sugar.

Experts are concerned that this might give children a “sweet tooth” early in life, setting them up for overweight, obesity and other diet-related diseases in later life. In NZ and Australia currently, 30 per cent of kids are overweight or obese, and the numbers are on the rise.—The Business Journals Dr Nerida McKibben, a New Zealand-born obstetrician and gynaecological surgeon, passionately enables people to achieve their greatest health potential. Wanting everyone to live life to the fullest, she integrates wholistic principles into medical treatments and procedures. For more, go to www.hop.ec/gohealthyforgood OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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FA IT H

JULIAN J ROSSIG, ISMAGILOV—GETTY IMAGES

SO YOU’RE CHURCHSHOPPING . . .

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Churches are changing and it’s easy to be blinded by the razzle-dazzle of slick marketing. How do you find the church God is calling you to?

BY NIGEL BYNG

H

ave you ever seen the early morning worship programs on television? The packed congregations, the huge church venues, the smooth-talking evangelist who delivers the perfect sermon . . . Church seems to be where the action is. That there are so many new mega-churches popping up all over the world suggests that a lot of people are desperate for spiritual guidance and fellowship.

But with so many churches to choose from it can feel like a minefield. Are you one of those seeking to make a step in this direction and feeling overwhelmed by the profusion of options? Don’t hit the panic button just yet.

from corner shop to Amazon

Just like many family retail businesses have disappeared from main streets or been swallowed up by shopping malls, many churches have been forced to adapt or face the inevitable. Times change. Many older generations were born into a denomination—it was automatically assigned at birth. Yet today, there are so many choices around that anyone interested in finding a good church

can simply do Google search and get locations and customer reviews.

Online shopping for a good pastor or congregation? Why not? We do it for everything else; from choosing the right shampoo to finding a quality used car. It’s the equivalent of shopping at your local supermarket 20 years ago, to doing your shopping online now.

The online experience has changed the way we do everything. Technology has impacted the way society organises finances, education and even national security. On a personal level, it has made everything accessible, and the world that was once large and mysterious can now be explored for the most part from your smartphone. These are huge cultural and generational changes from a mere 20 years ago.

It would be naive to assume that the cultural impact of the digital age—that remarkable ability to simply click and have it—has not influenced the church experience.

change: uncomfortable, but necessary

As advancements in education, culture and technology open our OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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find the right item, and at the end of the process you’re still not completely satisfied. But it’s still better than squelching through the Woolworths carpark on a rainy day—at least you can do this from the comfort of your own home.

‘what’s in it for me?’

The risk though, with the consumer approach to your spiritual walk, is that you lose sight of what matters. The well-produced television commercials or the early morning broadcasts are carefully choreographed stage productions, and it can be difficult to filter through all the options. Many large churches spend millions annually on marketing and, whether we want to hear it or not, church business is a billion-dollar enterprise. Texan author Kathy Howard observed in an article for Crosswalk that “many churches have also fallen into the consumer trap . . . swayed by the attitude of the Christian consumer . . . the church uses lights and sound, razzle-dazzle and giveaways to keep us coming back for more.”

For someone who hasn’t spent most of their life within a community of believers, it can be overwhelming knowing where to start. If you approach simply as a “window shopper”, the risk is that you’ll gravitate towards all that glitters.

Writing for Dialogue, UK freelance

COLDSNOWSTORM—GETTY IMAGES

eyes to the ever-changing world we live in, many concepts about church have changed. There was a time when the Catholic Church considered it a sin to believe that the earth orbited the sun instead of the other way around—I know, it’s hard to believe.

But ignorance is bliss for many.

The threat to churches then and now was and is simply a probing of long-held beliefs and traditions. The personal walk of faith is no different.

Incremental increases of knowledge and experiences shape one’s ideology.

Core beliefs are re-examined and, if they are scripturally correct, they can weather the storm.

It has been that way through the centuries. New ideas, new social norms, the clash of races and cultures—all these various influences caused conflict as people instinctively felt their way of life and their core beliefs were being threatened. But when the dust settled, a society was usually stronger, a community more diverse and faith enriched.

Similarly, the convenience of access to so much information at any­ one’s fingertips because of the internet and the free flow of information globally, has allowed the uncontrolled spread of erroroneous ideas, as well as important truths—the genuine seeker has a lot to sift through! It’s the online shopper’s dilemma: Compare prices, compare options, compare brands . . . spending hours trying to

journalist Vanesa Pizzuto explored the consumer-­driven culture of the church experience today, concluding that “the style and experience of worship matter. But by placing an exaggerated emphasis only on these attributes, we may lose sight of the substance: Jesus.”

The church should not only offer you something, but provide an avenue where you can serve others.

Christianity is all about service, as Jesus was. We are followers of Christ, working within a community of believers. We all have something to offer. Whatever talents, skills, education, recreational pursuits, or training you possess, can be used in service for God. On your quest for a suitable church, it is a factor that should be considered: What can I bring to this community?

core beliefs

Finding the right fit is important.

It creates a feeling of contentment, of ownership, of “consumer satisfaction”. Yes, you are looking for a product when you shop for a church.

Not something as tangible as a pair of jeans, but something far more significant: a spiritual home.

We all have this inherent need to belong, and a church community plays a vital role in fulfilling that need in our spiritual life. But while a lot of time and effort can go into considering all those different factors,

basic doctrinal beliefs sometimes get overlooked. Many want somewhere just to find comfort after or during a rough period in life; others to socialise with their friends. Some young parents just want a place to provide a sound moral foundation for their children. Others attend because they like the pastor or the location of the church is convenient—these are all valid considerations.

But if you’re looking for something that has more substance—a community that could positively impact your religious growth in the long term, then a church that upholds a clear understanding of the Bible (Old and New Testament) is essential.

You need a church that allows you to be of service to the cause of Christ as you grow—not just to be a consumer. You need a church with strong, engaging leadership and good Scripture-based teaching. A church that takes an interest in the spiritual, social, vocational and lifestyle deve­ lopment of its members is a healthy place to begin your journey.

a church that reflects Christ

What draws us to a church initially may be the very thing that drives us away in the end. It can be difficult as a first-time “shopper” to get it right—even a mature Christian will take their time settling into a new congregation when they set up home in a new location. Some

OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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church-hopping may be unavoidable. that you compare and research the fundamentals. Much like when The need for spiritual relevance in you shop for the right winter jacket our lives finds its identity only in online, looks aren’t everything. If it God. So, if you’re seeking biblically isn’t going to protect you from the sound advice and growth, then you don’t just follow the hype. The purity elements, then you’ll only look pretty while you freeze to death! and beauty of one’s faith does not Finding a church that places exist in the extravagance that grabs emphasis on good Bible teachings, attention, but in the grace of its encourages a closer walk with God execution. Spiritual things are spiritand allows you to ually discerned ask uncomforta(1 Corinthians 2:14). ble questions, will Christ should go a long way in be the focus of helping you find your journey. satisfaction. . . . a church that After all, both Intimidated by places emphasis on new and mature the minefield of good Bible teachings, Christians are options, but still seeking to simply have questions? encourages a closer follow His If a church is walk with God and example—that is not something allows you to ask what it means to that immediately be a disciple. draws you in, uncomfortable We do not then I would questions . . . follow a church, recommend you nor do we follow find a Bible-study a pastor. I think group near you that many of us involved in Christian or register for an online Bible-study congregations get hamstrung by class. Then research and question the the inherent belief that our church fundamental beliefs of the pastors or is our faith, much like many of us churches you are considering and, if associate the clothing brands that we their teachings don’t align with the wear or the sporting teams we follow Scriptures, then perhaps they are with our identity. Faith is something all hype and entertainment and not far more personal and much less really what you are looking for. commercial. And devaluing it to something that you can return within Nigel Byng is a freelance writer based in West Palm 30 days only leads to continued Beach, Florida, with roots in the Caribbean and experience working with marginalised groups in the UK. He dissatisfaction. is passionate about showing how the love and grace In your quest, it’s important of God transcends the limits of our understanding.

“

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ELL B EING

g n i v e i r G

HOW TO HELP THE

AFTER SUICIDE

Grief is never easy, but losing a loved one to suicide adds extra challenges and requires extra sensitivity from friends and family.

BY VICTOR PARACHIN 32

SIGNSOFTHETIMES.ORG.AU • OCTOBER 2019

LAFLOR—GETTY IMAGES

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hen Kristen Clifford’s husband— Steven, a police officer—wasn’t responding to her text messages she became alarmed and drove home where she found notes, his police identification, his driver’s license, “everything laid out very neatly, methodically”, she recalled.

Frightened, she rushed down the hallway to their bedroom to discover the door closed and another note stating, “I did it.

Do not enter. Call 911.” Her 35-year-old husband had ended his life by suicide.

It's not just an American issue. Australian Bureau of Statistics figures show suicide rates creeping up over the last decade or so. For younger people, particularly, suicide is now at epidemic proportions— it’s the leading cause of death for 15 to 44-year-olds, particularly men, who are three times more likely to die at their own hand than women. But women’s suicide statistics spike in their early 50s—the menopause and “empty nest” years.

New Zealand’s suicide rate is the highest its ever been, with increases every year for four years running, according to stuff. co.nz. Maori men are over-represented, with 97 dying by suicide during 2017.

Internationally, the World Health Organization estimates that, each year, approximately one million people die from suicide, representing a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. Furthermore, it’s been estimated that every suicide death leaves behind an estimated six or more “suicide survivors”—family members and friends who are left grieving and struggling to understand.

Here are seven ways to help those grieving a suicide death: OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

33

Plan to listen far more than you #1 #2 “Comfort my people, says your God” speak. Any questions you ask should

is the instruction from the biblical prophet Isaiah (40:1). Although the stigma attached to suicide is softening, survivors continue to feel blemished and isolated. That’s why it’s important to make your presence felt as soon as you learn a family member or friend is grieving a suicide death.

If you are geographically distant, call, text or send an email of support. If you are local, then simply be there— at the home, at the funeral service.

Kim Ruocco’s husband, a military pilot, came back from his deployment in Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder. After struggling with anxiety and depression, he died by suicide. During that difficult time, Ruocco says, “The people who were most helpful to me could be in my presence and tolerate my pain and didn’t have to say anything.”

“There are not right words really,” she recalls, “but it was comforting to have someone who can be with you with that much pain.”

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BE THERE TO LISTEN.

be for purposes of clarification and not intrusive or invasive. Rabbi Earl Grollman, author of Suicide: Prevention; Intervention, Postvention, states, “Bereaved people need to express their emotions. They can be encouraged to talk when others say, ‘What are you feeling? . . . . Tell me what is happening with you. . . . It must be very hard on you.’ Friends should focus on where they are. Accept their moods, whether they reflect fear or rage or panic. Friends are not there to judge, but to listen.”

#3 Be guided by this biblical wisdom: “Gracious KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT NOT TO SAY.

words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). Keep in mind that suicide grievers are struggling with a wide variety of confusing and conflicting emotions such as anger, guilt, regret, shock, denial and emptiness. Avoid adding to their pain by

SERDJOPHOTO—GETTY IMAGES

BE THERE. SHOW UP AND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU CARE.

dropping trite cliches and meaningless platitudes, no matter how well intentioned they may be.

Here are some things not to say:  I know how you feel  This too shall pass  You will find a way to cope  It’s time to move on  At least he/she is no longer in pain  Don’t cry. He/she wouldn’t want that And here are some comments that suicide grievers do generally find helpful:  I am sorry  Just know that I care  We all need help at times like this; I’m here for you  I can’t imagine how you feel, but I want to help in any way I can  I am here for you (then have an open heart and make time to listen)  I will stand with you through this time When reaching out to a suicide griever choose your words carefully so that they heal rather than hurt.

Tracy Roberts, who lost her sister to suicide, cited an example of hurtful words in her essay “Suicide Etiquette”: “After Amy killed herself, someone said, by way of comforting me, ‘Suicide is the coward’s way out.’ Besides being an inane truism, this pronouncement indicted the sister I was mourning. How was that supposed to console?”

Consider also this insight from

Gayle Brandeis’s The Art of Misdiagnosis: Surviving My Mother’s Suicide: “While it can be tricky to know what to say to a suicide loss survivor, it is much better to reach out than to hold back out of fear of saying the wrong thing. A simple note, a simple gesture, can make a huge difference.

‘It was not your fault’ is something many suicide loss survivors need to hear over and over and over again, as is ‘You are not alone’.”

#4

UNDERSTAND THAT SUICIDE GRIEF IS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER GRIEVING. While there are

many common elements of grief after a loved one has died, suicide grieving has additional and different components, making the grief process more complex. These are the four main challenges. First, there is the suddenness of the death—suicide is often unexpected, leaving no space to say goodbye or to resolve any lingering issues. Secondly, there is the anguished question of “why”. Survivors exhibit a frantic need to know why the suicide happened. There can be a desperate and relentless search for clues before there is recognition that they may never know why or fully understand the act. Thirdly, there can be acute guilt—often self-assigned. Both family members and friends experience intense guilt driven by “if only” thoughts—if only I had noticed; if only I hadn’t said that; if only I had said that; if only I had been home, et cetera. Supporters can try to gently guide grievers to OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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#5 According to Harvard Women’s

RECOMMEND A SUICIDE SURVIVOR SUPPORT GROUP.

Health Watch, research strongly indicates that survivors find suicide support groups to be powerful and therapeutic. “There are many general grief support groups, but

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those focused on suicide appear to be much more valuable. In a small pilot study that surveyed 63 adult suicide survivors about their needs and the resources they found helpful, 94 per cent of those who had participated in a suicide grief support group found it moderately or very helpful, compared with only 27 per cent of those who had attended a general grief group. The same study found that every survivor who had the opportunity to talk one-on-one with another suicide survivor found it beneficial.”

You can help a survivor by researching for a suicide support group in your area, providing the information, recommending parti­ cipation and offering to attend a few sessions with the griever.

#6 A fresh wave of grief can be triggered throughout the REMEMBER SURVIVORS ON SPECIAL DAYS.

year on special days: Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, Mothers Day as well as birthdays, anniversaries and graduations. These days constitute some of the roughest terrain survivors have to travel through. Remember to reach out on these days. Even a simple text, email or mailed card can go a long way to lifting some of the anxiety and stress survivors feel on special days.

On the anniversary of the suicide death, consider lighting a candle and sending an email to the survivor for whom the loss is most painful, saying something like this: “I’m guessing today may be a hard day for you,

SERDJOPHOTO—GETTY IMAGES

recognise that they are not responsible for the person’s decision to end his or her life. Fourthly, there is the social stigma attached to a suicide.

This can be seen by the simple fact that, until recently, a suicide act was considered a crime in many countries or a spiritual “unforgivable sin”. Also, the phrase “commit suicide” has a negative tone—similar to “commit murder” or “commit a crime”. Suicide survivors have to deal with a long history of stereotyping, mistrust, judgement, blaming and avoidance.

so I am lighting a candle of hope, remembrance and support for you.”

Be there for the long haul; for #7 the entire journey through grief.

SUPPORT SUSTAINABLY.

Rabbi Grollman says, “The survivor-victims often need to talk about their loved one for months and years—not for just a few days follow­ing the funeral. Healing is a long, long process. Friends need to continue to call and visit. Survivor-­ victims desperately need continuing love, support and concern.”

By extending support, sympathy

You’ve got mail Keep up to date with the latest Signs articles and special offers. Subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter at

signsofthetimes.org.au/enews

and understanding to those who grieve, you will help suicide grievers know that it is possible to experience living while grieving. You, as a compassionate friend, will be a lifeline for suicide survivors, providing them stability and strength for their challenge.

If this article has raised any difficult feelings or issues for you, please speak to a trusted support person, or call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) or 0800 543 354 (New Zealand).

Victor Parachin is an ordained minister, bereavement educator and the author of several books about grief.

He writes regularly for Signs of the Times.

FA IT H

THE GIFT

or the

Life is a gift and an opportunity to show others how awesome God is, because He is the one who gave it all in the first place.

BY MACIEJ KUBEREK 38

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ELITSA DEYKOVA—GETTY IMAGES

pre sent ?

M

oney is not a topic I normally enjoy talking about. More often than not, it’s an unwelcome reminder of how my earnings keep slipping through my fingers rather than piling up in my bank account. Can you relate? Sometimes, if we’re honest with ourselves, we have that love-hate relationship with money—it promises all kinds of possibilities, but it can also leave us feeling quite limited, depending on how much of it we have. Recently I plucked up the courage to read Scott Pape’s virally successful The Barefoot Investor about the management of personal finances. Initially, I expected it to be fairly tedious, based on my prejudice against the subject. But, to my pleasant surprise, I discovered instead that Pape actually had some pretty incredible insights on how to how to manage your wealth well.

The overriding principle running through the book is that it’s not about how much you have, but what you do with what you already have.

When we first encounter the idea or concept of managing wealth, or “stewardship”, in the Bible it’s in a garden with the first humans—Adam and Eve. Their first task and priority was to care for and protect the new world that God had made. The first book of the Bible, Genesis, gives us a glimpse into that conversation when it says, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.

Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living

creature that moves on the ground” (Genesis 1:28). God just handed over the keys to Adam and Eve so they could manage, expand and exercise care over all that He had just created.

They had not brought a single thing into existence—stewardship for them meant making use of all the things they already had. Pape echoes this reality, when he concludes that one can live quite a comfortable life on an average income—it has to do with resourcefulness and making use of what you have.

The first humans were encouraged to “be fruitful and increase”, which for them meant expanding their influence and progeny over the face of the earth. It involved the concept of being fruitful, an idea that’s easy to miss, because we have to ask ourselves what it even means.

Jesus told a story in the New Testament book of Matthew about a man who went on a faraway journey and entrusted his finances to the care of three of his servants. Two chose to invest the money so that, when the journeying master returned, he received back the money that belonged to him with added profit.

One servant, however, kept the money safe, but never did anything productive (or fruitful) with it—he didn’t even put it in the bank to accrue interest. The story ends on these words: “For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them” (Matthew 25:29).

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“

All I can do is make the most of the life that has been given to me.

encourages us to make the most of what we have. Yes, I’ve worked in order to build up my personal wealth and assets, but the time, talent and energy I’ve needed in order to get there were never fully in my control.

Working towards personal financial goals is great, but am I still valuable based on who I was made to be rather than what I have, even if I lost it all?

Suddenly my horror of finances slipping through my fingers seems insignificant; I realise life is about more than the stuff I own or simply having more. It’s not about a past that was never fully in my control or a future that I’m yet to contribute to, it’s about the present.

ROMOLOTAVANI—GETTY IMAGES

It’s not that any of the servants had nothing to invest; the difference between them was how they used what they had.

A tree gets its value by producing fruit; when it does we can say it’s a fruitful tree. The concept of being fruitful basically means to be producing or giving from what has been given to us. For example, people are increasingly raising awareness regarding the planet that we live on and the resources that we share. A few months back World Oceans Day was an opportunity to raise awareness and discussion around the very real threat that we face with the continual dumping of plastic into our oceans.

This is one of many examples of the value of being good stewards—of managing well the resources with which we’ve been entrusted.

This planet doesn’t ultimately belong to us, because we did nothing to bring it into existence. Our own bodies and our personalities are a gift that we have received rather than created ourselves. And while I can work out to improve my health and look great, and spend time socialising with others who help me to be the best version of myself, I still did nothing to contribute to my existence. All I can do is make the most of the life that has been given to me.

In fact, our families and friends, and all the aspects of our lives are, to a large extent, gifts that have been given to us.

The Bible says “you are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19) and

Life is a gift and an opportunity to be exercised in showing others how awesome God is, because He is the one who gave it all in the first place.

But He desires more: that our lives lived here may be lived “to the full” (John 10:10).

As I close The Barefoot Investor, I realise that life’s also about more than just the zeros that I am capable of accumulating in my bank account—it’s everything. It’s my life.

And it’s all wrapped up in the present and what I choose to do here and now—what I choose to do with my health, my family, my relationships, my time and, yes, my money. Sure, money can help me towards some pretty cool goals. I can dream of the

ideal holiday or home and eventually get there one day. What gives life its ultimate purpose and abundance though, is God and the betterment of the world and those around me.

Not abundance for the purpose of getting more for myself.

Making the most of what I have in the present moment helps me realise the value of who I am. And what I have points me to the One who gave it all.

Maciej Kuberek is a pastor from Mackay, Queensland, where he lives with his wife Evie and sausage dog Hugo.

OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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FA IT H

SON OF

GOD The debate over Jesus’ identity has raged for centuries. But the ultimate truth about Him is best experienced not intellectually, but personally.

BY KENT KINGSTON

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OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

CECILIE_ARCURS—GETTY IMAGES

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ven in this secular age, the world’s largest group of religious believers—a full third of Earth’s human population—worships Jesus of Nazareth as the eternal God who appeared in human flesh. Millions more—Muslims, Baha’i, Hindus, Buddhists and others—recognise His unique connection to the Divine, His wisdom and His compassion.

Even a total atheist would struggle to find a person more influential in human affairs than Jesus, the Man who divides history into BC and AD. But arguments over Jesus’ identity have also divided continents, nations and communities. Muslims, for example, though they deeply revere Jesus as a

43

holy prophet, are taught that the very phrase “Son of God” is blas­ phemy—a grievous insult against the One Supreme God. And mainstream churches refuse to accept Jehovah’s Witnesses and Latter-day Saints (Mormons) as bona-fide Christians precisely because they teach that Jesus is a created being, lesser in divinity and separate in substance from God the Father.

The Christian church itself has even been divided on the identity of Jesus Christ at times. For about a century, beginning in the late AD 200s, debate raged between various theologians and bishops as to whether Jesus Christ was an eternal Being who has always existed in Oneness with the Father, or if He was created. Some even claimed that Jesus did not have a physical body while He was on earth, but only projected this illusion.

And if we go back further it becomes clear that the debate over Jesus’ identity began pretty soon after Mary laid her Baby in a manger.

The four biblical accounts of Jesus’ earthly life and teachings—Matthew, Mark, Luke and John—hinge on finding an answer to the question, “Who is this?” (see, for example, Matthew 21:10, Mark 4:41, Luke 5:21, John 12:34).

At Jesus’ criminal trial, the issue of Jesus’ identity was crucial: “The Jewish leaders insisted, ‘We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God’” (John 19:7).

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So were Jesus’ accusers right or wrong to accuse Him of blasphemy?

Narnia author C S Lewis in his 1952 classic, Mere Christianity, highlights the starkness of the options before us as we consider Jesus of Nazareth: “I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic—on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg—or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

“You must make your choice.

Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

an encounter with Jesus

But despite Lewis’ devastating proofs, very few of us will be shoehorned into Christian belief by logic alone. A very real encounter with Jesus is needed, such as was experienced by a nameless woman in the ancient Middle East.

According to the fourth chapter

LARS JUSTINEN—GOODSALT

of John’s Gospel, Jesus and His disciples were journeying on foot through Samaria—a region north of Jerusalem that the Jews of that day despised for being full of half-breed people with a half-breed religion. At a well outside a town called Sychar, Jesus stopped to rest while His disciples went to buy some food. As He was waiting there a woman came to the well for some water. It was about midday and she was alone, which suggests she was avoiding the usual social gathering of women at the well during the cooler times of the day.

When Jesus asked her for a drink, she was surprised: “‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman,’” she said. “‘How can you ask me for a drink?’ (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

“Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God and who it is that

asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.’ “‘Sir,’ the woman said, ‘you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well . . . ?’”

(John 4:9–12).

Even though she was speaking respectfully—calling this strange Jew “sir” and invoking their common ancestor, Jacob—there is still a hint of mockery in her reply: Who do you think you are; full of fancy words about living water, but without a bucket or rope? But as cynical as her question may have been, the issue of Jesus’ identity had quickly become central.

“Jesus answered. . . . ‘Go, call your husband and come back.’ “‘I have no husband,’ she replied.

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when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. . . .’ “‘Sir,’ the woman said, ‘I can see that you are a prophet’” (verses 13–19).

Whoa. Suddenly this woman’s reason for avoiding the town gossip-mill is laid bare. But how could this Stranger possibly see straight through her half-truth and know the intimate details of her messed up life? Again, Jesus’ identity is the focus—the Samaritan woman is now prepared to accept Him as a prophet.

But, in order to deflect attention away from her personal issues, she brings up a hot-button religious debate between Samaritans and Jews—this is a woman with a wide experience of men; she knows how easy it is to distract them with a pet topic. “‘Our ancestors worshipped on this mountain,’” she said, “‘but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.’ “‘Woman,’ Jesus replied, ‘believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. . . . true worshippers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth. . . .’

“The woman said, ‘I know that Messiah’ (called Christ) ‘is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.’

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I, the one speaking to you—I am he’” (verses 20–26).

You’ll struggle to find Jesus stating His identity more directly in the Gospels. But when He makes this grand proclamation, it’s not to crowds or kings, but to a broken woman at a lonely well.

He doesn’t take sides in the polarising debate she has invoked— instead He points to a future where squabbles over holy places will be irrelevant. The whole experience leaves the woman deeply impressed; she forgets both her need for water and her shame; she can’t wait to share what she has heard.

“Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, ‘Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?’ They came out of the town and made their way toward him. . . .

“Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony. . . . They said to the woman, ‘We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the

Saviour of the world’” (verses 28–30, 39–42).

Yes, Jesus is greater than His ancestor, Jacob.

He is also more than a prophet. During this encounter, He claimed the title of Messiah and was identified by the Samaritan townspeople as “the Saviour of the world”.

But how was He to save the world? The answer comes from the previous chapter of John’s Gospel, where Jesus once again had a personal encounter, this time a secret meeting with a male religious leader. Jesus put it this way: “‘No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.’

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:13–16).

There are depths to these few short sentences that we do not have space to explore here, but what is clear is that Jesus is identified as both Son of Man and Son of God—fully human, yet also fully divine; born of a woman, yet “the one who came from heaven”. Jesus also hints here at the way He would die—“lifted up” on a cross—and explains that believing in Him is the way to eternal life. That’s how the Samaritans’ “Saviour of the world” operates: not by crushing His enemies with military or magical weaponry; not with an overwhelming flood of theology and intellect, but by a life and death of sacrifice that values even a single shame-filled woman seeking to satisfy her thirst.

Kent Kingston is editor of Signs of the Times. He lives with his family in NSW’s Lake Macquarie region, north of Sydney.

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CREATING A HEALTHY SLEEP SCHEDULE A simple, consistent routine before sleep has a profound impact on our children’s health and wellbeing.

BY SANITARIUM HEALTH FOOD COMPANY

M

any of us can remember having a strict bedtime checklist when we were little: Brush your teeth, read a bedtime story, say your prayers and lights off at 8 pm. But as we compete more and more with distracting screens and busy schedules, the idea of having such a tight routine can feel like an impossible feat most nights.

Research has proven the positive impact that a simple, consistent routine before sleep has on children’s health and wellbeing—both short and long-term.

Looking at phones or eating sugary snacks before going to bed can make it harder to fall and stay asleep throughout the night.

A study from Australia’s University of Notre Dame found that almost half (43%) of all children regularly use screenbased devices at bedtime, with one in four (26%) reporting sleep problems as a result.

Many people may not know that the

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optimal amount of sleep is about 10 to 13 hours for three- to five-year-olds, nine to 11 hours for six- to 13-year-olds and eight to 10 hours for teens.

A bad night’s sleep can show up during the day as behavioural problems like restlessness and moodiness. It can also falsely increase your kids’ appetite and affect their ability to concentrate and pay attention in class. Research from YouGovGalaxy found that more than twothirds of parents (68%) say their child’s school performance is affected when they don’t have enough sleep.

The good news is that working out a healthy sleep schedule doesn’t have to interfere with your complex lives. Getting that routine nailed down will help your little ones (and you!) live their big lives with as much energy as possible.

Learn more about children’s health and wellbeing by viewing the Little People Big Lives Report at sanitarium.com. au/biglives.

HEALTHY BEDTIME ROUTINES MAKE BEDTIME FUN. Try adding fun yet relaxing activities before bedtime, like reading a bedtime story or writing together in a journal. For older kids, writing in a diary before bed can help shake any anxiety that’s keeping them up.

CREATE RESTFUL BEDROOMS. Help your child connect their room with “restfulness” by making them tech-free zones. Remove devices like phones, TVs and tablets and as much clutter as possible on and around the bed. It also helps to keep the room dark and at a comfortable temperature—18°C to 22°C is best for kids at night.

SWITCH OFF STIMULANTS. Power down as a family 30 minutes before bedtime and do something mellow like a jigsaw puzzle or crossword. For older kids, exercise or sports in the afternoon can help shake off any excess energy.

Article courtesy of Sanitarium Health & Wellbeing. Visit sanitarium.com. au or sanitarium.co.nz and subscribe to Wholicious living for more great health and nutrition info each month.

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COMPARISON:

THE THIEF OF

Joy

If we keep comparing ourselves to others who are taller, smarter, richer, better-looking . . . we’ll always be miserable. Here’s how to stop.

M

y heart broke into a million pieces when my 13-year-old niece said that she wanted to kill herself. I remember sitting up straighter, my head and heart spinning with emotions. Tayla* told me that she wasn’t pretty enough,

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good enough, tall enough . . . and so the list went on. With each word, I wanted to cry. Did she not see how lovely and sweet she was? What was wrong with her?

Then she blurted, “I’m nothing like Isla!* She’s so beautiful.” The

JUANMONINO—GETTY IMAGES

BY GRACE THOMAS

disappointment and longing in her voice was tangible. That was it! She was so absorbed in comparing herself to her cousin Isla that she was unable to see just how amazing and special she really was.

There are those who believe that

the “epidemic” of comparing yourself to someone else only happens to teenagers. They say that, as adults, we are exempt from the deadly comparison games. Not true.

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author Karen Collum says, “Everywhere I look, I’m bombarded with images of perfection. Airbrushed beyond recognition, stick-thin, wrinkle-free models with perfect teeth tell me I’ll be desirable, clever, beautiful, and the envy of women, if only I eat/ drink/wear/buy a particular product.

And then I go home and look in the mirror. Reality bites.”

We live in a fallen world, a place where the devil, a being the Bible describes as “the Enemy”, heightens our insecurities and makes us all doubt ourselves. He uses advertisements, other people, television and social media to make us feel inadequate.

We scroll through Facebook and

admire the frozen smiling photos of “perfect” families and impeccable homes. We cringe when we see yet another filtered, glowing image of one of our friends at an Insta-­worthy location, holidaying with friends or family. Our insecurities increase and we suddenly feel depleted, knowing we will never be able to reach that kind of “perfection”.

But let me remind you of something: only God is perfect, no-one else. Not me. Not you.

The night Tayla confessed her feelings to me, I decided to stay at her house for the night. We talked until dawn and came up with a list of how harmful comparison really is.

It’s poison. A deadly cycle.

the deadly cycle

feel imperfect at times. It’s not fair or right to put anyone on a pedestal.

3. The comparison cycle is never-ending. In fact, it’s a vicious circle. When you finish comparing yourself to one particular person, you will then find another person to compare yourself to. Once bored, you move onto yet another person to adore or envy. I guess it’s like finding a new trend or changing your fashion according to the seasons.

4. Comparison steals your time.

How many times a week, how many minutes and hours a day do you spend fantasising and wishing that you were like someone else? Just think of the wonderful things you could actually accomplish if you got

1. You will always fall short.

When you compare yourself to someone else, you will always fall short. You will never feel good enough because you are comparing yourself to that person’s attributes, skills and looks, not valuing your own. When was the last time you actually wrote down your God-given qualities?

2. Comparison is unfair. It’s unfair because you are comparing yourself to other humans who are just as flawed as you. Nobody is perfect; therefore comparison will never be fair. Just imagine how the person you compare yourself to really feels about themselves. I’m sure they also 52

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your mind and eyes away from them and their social media accounts!

5. Comparisons end in resentment. Resentment that builds from making comparisons is a major impediment to meaningful communication and genuine friendship. This creates isolation for both people.

6. Comparison robs you of joy. Comparing yourself to others never makes you joyful. We usually compare ourselves to another person because we are admiring their best qualities and measuring them up against our worst ones. As former US president Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy!”

The comparison game is depressing and dark. It’s toxic to our minds and will eat away at our hearts and relationships. We have all been victims of this at some stage or other.

Maybe it’s a pastime that you are stuck in at this very moment; a labyrinth of lies and cobwebs entangling your thoughts and preventing you from seeing clearly.

The more I talked to Tayla that night, the more she opened her eyes to the truth and the more she realised that, although she loved Isla very much, she was beginning to resent her.

As the sunrise peeked over the horizon, Tayla and I wrote down a few tips to help her battle this comparison game.

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1. Gratitude. In all things, find joy. In her article, “The Importance of Being Grateful”, child psychologist Deborah Jepsen puts it into perspective: “Gratitude promotes optimism and helps us to develop a more positive outlook. It lets us pause for a moment to reflect on something we have in our life right now instead of always striving for more . . . the next goal, the new dress, the new toy, the new car or the house renovation.” Keep a book or journal and practise gratitude daily, writing three to five specific things that you are grateful for. At first this might be hard, but the more you practise the easier it will flow.

2. Take a stroll. When those negative thoughts start to crawl into your mind, take a stroll in your backyard, around the block or even

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around the room. Walking releases chemicals called endorphins that interact with the brain to improve your mood.

3. Only compare yourself to you.

If you want to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to you!

Develop a skill or health practice. Go for your “personal best” like athletes do and, in the end, you will see improvement. Family and wellbeing researcher Dr Deborah Carr says, “By focusing on self-improvement rather than one-upmanship, we’ll have a more realistic and insightful strategy for reaching our goals, and ideally, our friends and loved ones will be there to support us along the way.”

4. Ban negativity. When those dark thoughts make their way into your mind, stop, refocus and say a quick prayer. We have the capacity to control our thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments

FATCAMERA—GETTY IMAGES

strategies to END the comparison game

and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

5. Go on a social media fast.

If you struggle with Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook or whatever, and you are constantly on these sites comparing yourself to others, then go on a fast. Stop immediately. Stay away from it. As hard as it may be, it will get easier. It takes approximately 21 days to break a bad habit, but it’s achievable. However, if going on a complete fast doesn’t work for you, then start with baby steps and do a social media detox. (Google it!)

6. Focus on your potential and strengths. Write a list of all your great qualities. Put down on paper all the things that you’re good at and focus on them. If you’re not sure what they are, ask family and friends.

You will discover strengths you didn’t even know you had!

7. Find a hobby. Get busy creating! Painting, drawing, playing an instrument, planting a garden, baking, taking photos. . . . All of these things can keep your mind alert and focused on something other than the things that deplete you emotionally.

Having a hobby challenges you, keeps your mind busy and gives you the opportunity to develop a new skill, giving you a confidence boost.

8. Get involved in charity work.

Helping others really helps us focus less on ourselves. This might not be possible if you have a young family.

However, together with your family,

you can dedicate an hour or two a week to visiting sick friends or lonely people in nursing homes and hospitals. You could also organise a charity drive from your home and have friends and family drop food baskets or clothes to your house. Later, with some friends or family members, you can give to the homeless or other charities you choose. The busier you are helping make a difference, the less time you will have to think about yourself in a negative way.

9. Seek professional help. If you are in a dark place—you’re not coping and have spiralled into a deep depression—seek professional help.

There’s nothing wrong with seeing someone who can help you and give you tips and strategies to improve your emotional health.

So what happened to Tayla? She worked through this list for many months and it helped. It was slow progress, but with God’s help and a good support group surrounding her, she reached her goal. When she stopped focusing on her weaknesses and on her cousin Isla, she started doing great things.

You too can shift your vision and focus because, as Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Grace Thomas writes regularly for various Christian magazines. She lives with her family in Queensland, Australia.

This article is adapted with permission from a piece that first appeared in GIGI magazine. * Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

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CE/ TE

THE CUTTING EDGE

PHONES

CAUSING BRAIN GLITCHES? Commitment-phobia A study of 376 Korean university students has linked avoidant attachment styles and higher levels of anxiety to smartphone addiction.—Psypost Reduced mindfulness Excessive smartphone use can lead to a mental state of “online vigilance”.

People were found to be easily distracted by texts and emails, and less mindful of the present moment and their surroundings.—Psychology Today

SOLAR-POWERED:

THE FUTURE

LIGHT RAIL A 128-megawatt solar farm in northern Victoria will soon be able to power Melbourne’s entire tram network. The solar farm of 300,000 panels will have the carbon emission reduction equivalent of 75,000 cars being taken off the road, or 390,000 trees being planted. The farm will have a lifespan of 30 years.—ABC 56

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FREEPIK, WIKIMEDIA COMMONS, PXHERE, RCP.CO.NZ, MELETIOS VERRAS—GETTY IMAGES, TECHNION

Can’t settle down A survey of 3425 US college students has found “problematic” smartphone use is linked to more sexual partners, lower grades and alcoholism.—Fox News

NANO-TECHNOLOGY NANO BOT University of Toronto engineers have created a bead-sized nanobot that can be placed inside human cells. The bots can be used to study cancer cells and find poten­tial treatment. It has also been used for in vitro fertilisation and admin­ istering personalised medicine.—Techxplore

VACCINATIONS Brazilian and European scientists have created a nanotechnology compound to administer hepatitis B vaccinations.

The particles contain silica, helping them reach the intenstine without being destroyed by digestive acidity.

—Phys.org

NANO BIBLE

Video journalist Ami Bentov has developed the Jerusalem Nano Bible, which can be read through an electron microscope. In 2015, it won the Guiness world record for world’s smallest Bible. The inventors say the Bible is perfect for mounting on jewellry and precious metals.

—Jerusalem Nano Bible

NZ’S LARGEST SOLAR PROGRAM Shopping centres in at least four New Zealand locations will host the country’s largest solar program. 2500 panels will be installed in Christchurch, Palmerston North, Hamilton and Auckland.

Christchurch’s Northlands Shopping Centre is the latest to adopt the technology, featuring a system capable of powering 30 households or 100 electric vehicles for a year.—Scoop Business

POWER TO SINGAPORE The world’s largest solar farm has a proposed location near Tennant Creek, Northern Territory.

The proposed Sun Cable 10-gigawatt spread of panels across 15,000 hectares would export electricity to Singapore. The farm could power one-fifth of the island city’s electric needs. Though only currently in the planning stages, Sun Cable could begin production in the next decade.—The Guardian OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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CU

LT U R E

If you love sifting through cryptic clues, why not check out the world’s longest-running and most vitally important treasure hunt?

BY KIRA-LEIGH JOSEY

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WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

T F I W S R O L TAY AND THE MESSIANIC COUNTDOWN

O

n April 13 this year, pop princess Taylor Swift began a 13-day countdown on her social media accounts. This countdown sent the world (or maybe just her “Swifties”) into a frenzy. The following days were fraught with cryptic clues from Swift—still images from what would turn out to be her upcoming music release. Increasingly far-fetched fan theories were spawned about what it all meant.

The countdown culminated on April 26 with the release of a new single, “ME!” and, much to the pleasant surprise of her fans, the announcement of her seventh studio album.

Rumours about Swift’s next offering had been swirling since October 2018, with some devoted fans claiming that photos of everyday things—including palm trees!—contained significant symbolism. Seemingly ordinary pictures of Swift and her mother playing Scrabble became pivotal clues—keen code-breakers enhanced the image, looking for hidden meaning. But, despite their wild theories and tin-foil hats, the fans were essentially right: Swift had been leaving breadcrumbs relating to her new release for months.

It turned out that Swift’s official 2019 calendar also had the countdown start marked, as well as a few other dates on the 13th of each month (Swifties are waiting in eager anticipation to find out what these dates relate to). On her social media accounts the amount of emojis she had included in some posts related

to the number of days left until the release. It appears that being a Taylor Swift fan is immensely hard work!

Swift herself has said that leaving cryptic clues for her fans is her “love language”.

the ultimate countdown

This exciting countdown has nothing on the one seen in the Bible, which continued for more than 4000 years. And, again, there were clues littered throughout the Old Testament, some cryptic and some unmissable. You did not need to guess what the Old Testament was leading up to—scholars note that it contains 200–400 prophecies of a coming Messiah. The Old Testament tells the story of a God with a rescue plan for His people; a plan to send a Saviour.

stunning fulfilment

The countdown kicks off at the very beginning of the Bible—in the book of Genesis. After sin infects the world, God reveals His plan. In Genesis 3:15 He spoke of a wounded victor; a descendent of Eve who would crush the head of the deceiving serpent. The victor does not walk away unharmed, however, but is struck on the heel.

This verse is hinting at the victory that Jesus would achieve over death through His crucifixion. That amount of detail would be enough for some, but there are many more specific prophecies about the coming Messiah in the Old Testament.

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Isaiah 7:14 says, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” This prophecy is fulfilled 800 years later in Luke 1:35 with Mary, a virgin, being told that she will conceive.

The birthplace of the Messiah was also specified, this time by the prophet Micah around 700 years before Jesus’ birth: “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathath, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times” (Micah 5:2).

Details about Jesus’ life are also disclosed in Old Testament prophecy, including His time as a child refugee in Egypt (Matthew 2:13–15; Hosea 11:1) and that He would perform miracles (Isaiah 53:4), teach in parables (Psalm 78:2) and have a triumphant entry to Jerusalem before His criminal trial (Zechariah 9:9).

There are also incredibly specific details about Jesus’ betrayal by Judas, including the price He was sold for (Zechariah 11:12) and how the money was used (Zechariah 11:13).

But by far the most powerful of

“ I challenge you to

dive into the greatest countdown ever seen on earth . . .

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the predictions about Jesus relates to the details of His death. Both Isaiah 53 and Psalm 22 give incredible details about this pivotal event in earth’s history. A study through the following passage reveals parallels to Jesus’ life that cannot be ignored.

“He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

“By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished.

“He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7–9).

amazing fulfilment

These are details that could not have been guessed. The likelihood of one man fulfilling just eight of these prophecies has been estimated by mathematician Peter Stoner to be one in 1017. The prophecies about the coming Messiah in the Old Testament and their fulfilment in Jesus in the New Testament are powerful evidence of the loving nature of God and the carefully planned and far-reaching plan of salvation.

I challenge you to dive into the greatest countdown ever seen on

earth and see what other prophecies you can find in the Old Testament that were fulfilled in the life of Jesus.

Unlike Swift, the clues provided in the Bible relating to the Messiah are precise and ultimately lead to something far more meaningful and long-lasting than the release of a new album.

Kira-leigh Josey loves reading and the time travel trope. She lives in NSW’s Blue Mountains and is working as a part-time high school teacher while she finishes her education degree.

This article first appeared on the mighty-warrior.org website and is used with permission.

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OCTOBER 2019 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES

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FUN

CROSSWORD How closely have you been reading? Each keyword in this puzzle is also contained within this edition of Signs of the Times.

Happy digging!

EDUCATION.COM

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Hint: 4 across

CROSSWORD CLUES

ACROSS 4 Cathedral damaged by fire in April 2019 7 Element with atomic mass 15.999 8 Australian company with slogan “the fresh food people” 10 Overused statement that is no longer meaningful 13 Negative connotations associated with something DOWN 1 Chemical released in the body to feel pleasure 2 A sub-group within a religion 3 Dating app known for swiping left and right 5 Last name of 32nd United States president 6 Biblical city near Jacob’s well 9 Peninsula in Turkey— location of World War I battle 11 To describe a picturesque location 12 American stock car racing series 13 Board game involving placing tiles

SUDOKU EASY

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