BY THE SEAT OF THEIR BRITCHES

By Madeline C. Lanshe

“There were no pants, jeans, or slacks. Everything was britches.”

There is life after heartbreak and tragedy, at least according to Robert (Bob) Hardcastle and Susan Kanarick.

Both Bob and Susan went through the excruciating experience of acting as a caregiver for a spouse with Alzheimer’s, and eventually losing them to the disease. In spite of the trauma, or maybe even because of it, they found each other, followed their dreams, and set out on an adventure that has yet to end.

Bob and Susan met in an online dementia and Alzheimer’s support group. According to Bob, their backgrounds in caregiving were very similar. After seeing each other in person at a support group luncheon, they connected online and stayed in touch.

“If you haven’t done it,” Bob said, referring to caregiving, “you can’t really understand what’s going on.”

Bob discovered Advanced RV through Ed, a client of theirs. Bob had watched one of Ed’s videos on Youtube and reached out with some questions. To Bob’s surprise, Ed got back to him, and their conversations lead them not only to ARV, but a longstanding friendship. Ed was even at the configuration meeting for the van Bob designed, Britches, named thusly in honor of Bob’s father, a WWII, Omaha Beach, D-Day veteran.

“He was from the old school. To him, there were no pants, jeans, or slacks. Everything was britches,” Bob explained.

After the deaths of their spouses, Bob and Susan found comfort in each other, knowing they were with someone who could truly understand what they’d each been through.

“Because of our circumstances and support of one another and our meeting of each other, I simply asked Susan, do you wanna go with me?” Bob recounts. Days later she had the courage to say, “Yeah, I’ll go with you.”

They didn’t have detailed plans or preconceptions as to where they were going. They were flying by the seat of their britches.

Bob said, “We have no timeline, have no schedule, we have no deadlines. We’re just out to see every experience and everything we can in the time that we’ve got.”

And see things, they did. Their first trip, which lasted 88 days, took them to 39 states, 14,450 miles, 8 National Parks, and 22 state parks. They didn’t stop there. Their second trip was 7 weeks long in which they visited 8 more states, drove 5,500 miles, and met at least three new colleague couples traveling like them.

Accompanying them on all of their adventures is Maxie, their Border Collie. A dog couldn’t ask for a better life. A human really couldn’t either.

While the experiences Bob and Susan have accumulated from their travels could fill a book, or a few, one sticks out in Bob’s mind when asked to share an epic story.

“We were touring in Washington DC. We badly wanted to visit the African American History Museum. We didn’t buy advanced tickets, mistakenly believing they weren’t necessary. After advancing in line for over an hour, the girl at the security station turned us away without a ticket. Dejected, we went to a side door, hoping to gain entry to the gift shop/bookstore. A nice security guard opened the door telling us the only entry to the gift shop was through the lobby, after buying a ticket and passing through security. We were more than disappointed - to come all this way from Seattle and not be able to see something we had our hearts set upon.

“We re-grouped, nearly in tears, went outside and sat on a nearby bench, plotting an alternative tour or attraction. A few minutes later, the security guard came outside. He asked us, ‘You said y’all were from Seattle?’ ‘Yes,’ we replied. He said, ‘Done some nice fishing in that area.’ He said, ‘Come with me.’ He marched us to the front of the line, crowding in front of everyone else. He told the ticket/security lady, ‘these people are my guests.’ She said, ‘You can’t do that.’ He said again, with emphasis, ‘I said these people are my guests. Let them pass.’

“She obliged, and we entered the museum without buying tickets, doing a security check, or anything else. The security guard met us just inside the lobby. We profusely thanked him for such kindness and sensitivity. He laid out the 7-story museum for us in detail with brochures and information saying, more than once, ‘Now don’t miss this, don’t miss that.’

“We spent 7 hours in the museum and had a more than fantastic time, learning so much. At the end of our tour, we went back to the gift shop, found the security guard, and continued to thank him, offering to pay him for his trouble. He declined, just saying, ‘Thank you for being interested in our history.’

“We parted, touched by a complete stranger, who didn’t have to do what he did, and having an experience that we’ll never forget. We owe it to the security guard to retell his story of kindness as much as we can.”

Traveling had always been a dream of Susan’s but not always a possibility.

“I probably have dreamt my whole life of traveling and it was not possible, it just was not possible,” she explained. “And this is just like a dream come true. Britches is perfect in design, gets us where we need to go. It’s fabulous. I wouldn’t change it. Would not change it.”

“We’re just out to see the world, and have a great time, and do it together,” Bob said.

Bob, Susan, Maxie, and Britches will embark on their newest and largest journey at the beginning of January. It will complete their first trilogy of trips together, though almost certainly not their last. It will require them to be gone for 7 months, visit 34 states, likely cover nearly 20,000 miles, and stay in at least two foreign countries.

Bob and Susan believe that, because of their unique and painful background, it was serendipitous that they found one another, and that they’re doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing at this point in their lives.

“I think for both of us, the caregiving experience, the trauma that we went through with that, I think we are changed people. I don’t think you can go through that experience and not come out a different person. And so we decided to do it together, and we’re having a great time. And frankly, life has never been better for us.” -Bob

Last night, I ate chicken wings from the garbage can on 4th Street. It’s a good place to find doggy-bags from the restaurants on that street. I walked over to the alley next to the May Company, got in the corner, and slept.

Last night, I went to a tailgate party. Drank and ate for free, panhandled some money, went to the hood, got high, then slept in the park until the police woke me up and told me to move along.

Last night, I found a bus pass. I rode the bus all night. Then I went to St. Augustine’s and had breakfast.

Last night, I hung out on Public Square. The food people were there and they fed us coffee and donuts. I went to the alley and slept.

Last night, I panhandled on Playhouse Square. Made enough to smoke dope all night. Walked to breakfast at the church.

Last night, I hung out in the Flats. Swept up the floor, put out chairs for a concert. Listened to the show, got paid, slept in the bus shelter.

Last night, I slept in the emergency room because it was so cold outside. I had to leave at seven when the shift changed.

Last night, I went to the men’s shelter. It had seventy-five mats on the floor and a bathroom with two sinks and two stalls. All of them were stopped up. And I won’t go back.

Last night, I slept in a porta potty. This will be my last night on the street, God willing.

-Angelo Anderson