Creating Community IN THE COUNTRY

By Jackie Swiesz

Driving out to Huntley in the wintry below-zero weather the other morning, I wondered why I had to get up so darn early just to meet up with a bunch of old guys having coffee together.

When I pulled into the Express Way parking lot, expecting to see them sitting at a table inside the store, I was startled to see a bench and random chairs filled with older men outside the store, bundled up to battle the minus ten degrees. Holding coffee mugs with gloved hands, they were quite a peculiar coffee klatch!

I recognized a few of my friends from way back when I had lived the rural life, so after a few introductions with a few of them I didn’t know, my curiosity got the best of me. I asked them, “What compels you to meet at this ungodly hour seven days a week, 365 days a year, even in the depth of winter? “Well, for years, it was just what we did every morning before going off to work for the day,” said Steve, who retired recently from the electrical co-op. “We’d all stop at the Express Way, fill up our coffee mugs, talk a bit about what was brewing for the day, then hop in our trucks and go to work.”

Retired fire chief Lonnie said, “Well, I guess I could sit at home at my kitchen table, sipping coffee and looking at the wall. But, heck, this is a way better way to have my morning coffee!”

Even after stepping away from working life, they continue to meet every morning for that shot of java, the wakerupper, and to enjoy the banter they toss about. Despite the negative digits on the thermometer, this crew was as jolly as ever.

They told me about a trophy that was passed along for years from one to another depending on who was the biggest teller of yarns (the trophy was a board with a big pile of cow pies on it).

Frank, who retired from Western Sugar after working at the beet factory for 40+ years, chuckled about the time when one of the Bench Bunch was trying to get the store owner, Bernie, to build a roof over their gathering spot outside. Instead, he gave each of them an umbrella and said, “Here’s your roof to keep you dry!”

Lonnie is the longest member of the Huntley coffee clan and estimates that the “club” started nearly 20 years ago. He’s seen some come and go, some have moved away, and some passed away over the years. But the core group is still going strong. Andy, a retired dentist and long-time resident of Huntley, chimed in. “I’m the newest member of the Bench Bunch, but I can’t tell you how important this group is to me. They may give me a bad time, but that’s what guys do!”

The benefits of connecting with groups like this are priceless. Their support and camaraderie are, in Andy’s words, “Vital to my mental and physical health.”

While many people do find that solitude is peaceful, it is also a human condition to want to belong – whether it’s with our “clan” having coffee or having other chances to find our people.

As we chatted, it became evident that this bunch doesn’t buy into the Western myth of rugged individualism and self-sufficiency. They are humble enough to recognize that they don’t have to go it alone. They truly embrace their need for connection through the simple yet profound act of conversation and coffee.

Like an island in the middle of the sea, we don’t do well if we are isolated. Pretty soon, we’ve walked the parameter of the small landmass thousands of times, we’ve gazed at the stars in the skies on countless nights, and we’ve eaten all the coconuts from the tree. Now what? Do we just create conversations in our heads or, like Tom Hanks, set our soccer ball on a log and talk to it?

Our human craving to interact with another human is a basic need. If we hole up in our house (our “island”) and ignore the fact that every person is one piece of the greater whole that is humanity, we will not thrive. This is even more true for our rural friends and families, those who, by sheer geographics, have a higher hurdle to overcome than our urban counterparts. People need each other and we are better together than we are in isolation – a condition that separates us, one that makes us think that remoteness and loneliness are normal.

I was inspired by the motivation these men have to meet up every morning, every day of the year, to have that cup of coffee and conversation before they start whatever day that lies ahead for them. I say, “Bravo! Keep doing what you’re doing, and you will live a happy life!