Move to the Music

By Jackie Swiesz

I met Ginny today for the first time. Her warm smile greeted me at the door to her home, and as I walked in, I felt instantly comfortable. We settled on the sofa and our conversation flowed so naturally that, before I knew it, an hour had flown by.

She was on a pink cloud when we met to talk, because her daughter - who was adopted by another family many years ago - just recently reunited for the second time with Ginny, (her birth mom), and her extended family. “We just spent a glorious week together,” Ginny told me. “We talked non-stop, looked through tons of photos, and just enjoyed bonding as a mom and daughter.” They discovered they had mutual adventuresome spirits. “All of us in this family are daredevils,” Ginny declared, “and now that Kim knows about her beginnings, she feels as if she finally fits!”

I found that one of the most amazing things about Ginny is her capacity to live a positive life despite huge challenges. She confided to me that she had tried for years to locate her daughter, Kimala, but kept finding only dead ends. First, in North Dakota records are sealed. Second, the adoption agency was no longer in existence. Just by accident, Ginny discovered the “Village,” an agency that handles adoptions. It was there that she met Sarah, who helped with digging up the old agency’s documents and finding her daughter. Then we chatted about how remarkable timing can be and the serendipity that results.

When they met for the first time a year ago, Ginny and Kim found that music had been the centerpiece in both their lives. Ginny shared her story with Kim – the thirtyplus years in Sidney, Montana where she taught music to moms and daughters, and even a deaf student! Kim shared her story with her mom – that she’d played the flute for twenty-five years and was a ballet dancer.

“Our reunion happened at just the right time for all of us to embrace it and bond with each other. Kim loves being a big sister to her brother Bill, and it’s amazing that, although I lost my other daughter, Mel, recently, and Kim lost her adoptive Mom as well, we both now have each other!”

As the song goes, “Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens…”

Since making that first contact two years ago, Ginny and Kim have deepened their connection with each other through sharing more of their stories. They also both share characteristics of being self-assured and a bit daring. Kim, for instance, has traveled the world as an “military brat,” and even spent time with a nomadic tribe in Iran. “My life is dull compared to my daughter’s,” laughed Ginny.

On the other hand, though, Ginny has that plucky personality that comes across in her humor. “When my deaf student competed in a music event, I told the judges that they needed to focus their comments not on playing louder or softer, but rather on the amount of pressure used on the piano keys. You see, a deaf person is sensitive to the low frequencies of the vibration in the piano keys.”

Although she doesn’t take credit for it, I learned that Ginny inspires many people to connect and bond, not only through the music that’s been her life since she was about six years old, but also through her passion to participate fully in life no matter what cards she’s dealt. The medium she chooses to use is typically musicrelated, and because we humans are wired to dance, the music sparks movement, which then lights up our limbic system. Then we dance, which triggers our brains’ reward centers. But we didn’t talk about any of that stuff. Instead, we chatted casually about life’s milestones and things come full circle in an extraordinary way. When she was twelve years old, her dad taught her the chords to play, but when he landed in a nursing home years later, she taught him the chords. Full Circle.

Ginny also told me about her humble role in transforming a community tragedy, one where a woman was killed while jogging. She helped plan a concert in Sidney with carefully chosen music to send the message of shared strength, compassion, courage, and faith. For some unknown reason, the event was adamantly held on a specific day in March 2012. “It’s remarkable how the timing of the concert helped people heal,” Ginny told me. “Because two days later, the woman’s body was found.” Full Circle.

These days, Ginny performs sing-alongs with assisted living residents, plays her keyboard in a band, and is the organist at her church. “I keep playing music,” she said, “because I love sharing it with others. And, if you don’t use it, you lose it.” With a sly smile, she added, “besides, it keeps my hands limber!”

Her daughter Kim has been inspired by her mom’s limitless energy and contagious humor. Listening to music her mom recently recorded, Kim is ready to resume using her musical talent just as soon as she can. Full Circle.

As this mom and daughter continue their journey together, it’s obvious to me that they both choose to dance in life, not sit it out!