FOR YOUR HEALTH

GENTLE SELF-CARE can help us through holidays after loss

If you aren’t feeling jolly this December, it’s OK. Holidays can be an especially difficult time for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself and grieve in the ways that comfort you.

Nothing will take away the pain of loss but there are some strategies that can help you better cope with your grief during the holidays.

Terri Steinbrink

• Lower your expectations and keep things

simple. Grief may leave you more tired than usual.

Be mindful of having limited energy and be willing to let go of things on your to-do list.

• Create new traditions and memories.

• Include your loved one in your holidays. For example, you could light a candle for them, have a special toast, read their favorite poem, hang an ornament or make a memorial wreath.

• Spend time with supportive people who encourage you to share honestly.

• Say yes to help that others offer.

• Ask for help that you need.

• Don’t feel guilty if you don’t do the things you normally do on the holidays. • Be honest. Tell others what you do and don’t want for the holidays.

• Share memories and stories about your loved

one. Put out a memory stocking or memory box where you and others can write down these memories. Read them together.

• Skip holiday events if you are feeling overwhelmed.

• Plan ahead. Structure your holiday time while leaving room to be flexible and change your mind if your plans turn out to be too much.

• Remember that it’s OK to experience

happiness. This doesn’t diminish how much you miss the person who isn’t there this holiday.

Don’t feel guilty for the joy you do find this holiday season.

• Be gentle with yourself.

• If you need additional support, join a grief group or seek counseling.

All RiverStone Health Hospice grief support groups are free and open to the public. They include:

• 1-2 p.m. Fridays, St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, 119

N. 33rd St.

• 1-2 p.m. Tuesdays, St. Bernard’s Catholic Church, 226 Wicks Lane.

• BraveHearts Children/Family Grief Support Group, an eight-week program and a summer camp offered two to three times a year.

• Living with Loss grief support group for adults, a six week educational program offered two to three times a year on consecutive Saturdays.

For more information on any of these grief support groups, call 406.651.6500.

Each of us deals with loss in our own way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Wherever you are is OK.

Nothing changes the fact that the holidays can be difficult while grieving. But you can choose to put limits on December hustle and bustle. Practice good selfcare, especially this month. Tell your friends, family and coworkers what you have chosen to do or not do. These steps may make the holiday season more manageable. That gives us an opportunity to experience renewed strength and hope. You may create moments of comfort and joy.

Terri Steinbrink is a chaplain and grief support specialist with RiverStone Health Hospice, serving families in Yellowstone, Carbon, Stillwater and Musselshell counties.