Issue 91.10

ISSUE 91.10

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Welcome Welcome Thank you for supporting On Dit. This would not be possible without you.

Editors Kathers Anderson Louise Jackson Sebastian Andrew Sienna Sulicich

Cover Art Sienna sulicich

Graphic Design Sienna Sulicich Shan Shareef

Art Sienna Sulicich Shan Shareef

Contributors and Sub-Editors Arantza Garcia Asirah Abdul Kadir Charlotte Whincup Devanshi Shah Ella Hunter Ellie Venning Elsje Olivier Emily Kelsall Emily Miller Fionne Chai Ping Ngam George Young Lewis Caon Lily Baxter Loki Cassandra Harlequin Maelorin Peter Jackson Ruby Nixon Sabrina Donato Shan Shareef Skye Xie William Goh

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Always was. Always will be.

We want to acknowledge that the University of Adelaide’s On Dit is written and created upon Kaurna land.

The Kaurna People are the traditional custodians of the Greater Adelaide Plains and their culture, knowledge, and spiritual connections continue to run deeply within this Country. We acknowledge that the University of Adelaide is a place of learning attended by First Nations People from around the continent and, like Kaurna, their land and sovereignty was never ceded. We pay our deepest respects to the Elders of the past, present, and emerging.

Always was. Always will be.

Contents Editorial

8

Youx report

10-11

Editors’ Picks

12-13

Disabilidit

14-15

Econdit

16-17

Sustainabilidit

18-19

LRC

20-22

Vox pop

23

History Corner

24-25

Places I love in south australia

26-27

study time management made simple

28-29

worm in my brain

32-33

Tribunal ruling declares src president results void, calls new election for the role

34-35

Catacomics*

36

Skeleton by Shan Shareef

38

Barmh-mi

39

Codger or crook: the ultimate popularity contest

40-41

Narrating narrations

42-45

12 steps to a long and fulfilling death: Interview with sarah smith

46-47

Macarons of the adelaide cbd

48-49

Sens big quiz

50-51

Unions and campaigns: is politics eco-friendly?

52-53

An ode to adelaide metro

54-55

Akhapost: Cons-piracy Unravioli-ed

56-59

Editors try drawing

60-61

Final goodbyes

62-63

Craft Corner

64-65

EDITORIAL Hello lovely people, ... and welcome to our final issue of the year.

It’s time to kick back and relax, or suffer under the weight of your unfinished assignments and unshakable fear of failure!

We’ve done a lot this year in On Dit. From the three special editions, to their launch parties, to our somewhat-explicit bake sale — we’ve certainly had full hands. Not to mention the ten editions full of hand drawn and carefully written content.

With the help of our wonderful readers (yes, that includes you ;) ), we have filled our pages with amazing art, poetry, articles, and short stories, and our online StuPol coverage has seen high engagement with the student body.

As well as printing a total of 10 issues, we held an online Sex Week where we brought wonderful and weird stories, including haunted hotels and giant Amazonians, and delved into important issues around sexual health. Issue 4, Ngadlu Pudlunthi, was a small step towards highlighting the Australian First Nations voices of our university, and hopefully will be continued in years to come.

Many people have helped us bring On Dit to life this year. We’d first like to extend our thanks to our wonderful contributors, in particular our team of sub-editors, who make On Dit a place for every student’s voice. Your words and creativity make our pages turn. To YouX, thank you for funding our magazine and providing support throughout the experience.

Finally, thank you to our student politicians, University management, and the SA Government for providing us such an eventful year to cover.

Ninety volumes of On Dit have come before us, and with any hope, there’ll be another ninety after us. Our term as Editors is just one little notch in a long, rich history of a wonderful student magazine. But it is a term which we’ve cherished and which we’re eternally thankful that we were given the chance to fulfil. We don’t just serve this history, we serve you, the students.

We hope we DITlivered for you.

Sienna Kathers Louise Seb

Need extra support?

Counselling Support University of Adelaide T: +61 8 8313 5663 Lifeline T: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue T: 1300 22 4636

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YouX Report

Dear students, Welcome to the final edition of On Dit for 2023. I’d like to use this report to outline some of our biggest achievements this year.

Budget Update Since the last report, I can confirm that YouX has formally passed its budget for 2024. In the midst of a high cost of living, YouX is proud to deliver the highest level service oriented budget in our history.

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Next year’s budget will deliver: -Over $1 million to Student Care, to be used for Breakfast Club, critical needs grants, providing education and welfare support to students, and much more (that’s a $56,000 increase from this year!) $200,000 to YouX Clubs, to be used for Club Grants for equipment, activities, initiatives and more (that’s a $100,000 increase from this year!)

A further $20,000 for YouX Clubs to upgrade and source new equipment for all clubs to use. $81,000 for YouX Events, to be used to maintain the delivery of our fantastic and varied events program for students and members.

And all of this is achieved with a net improvement to the budget position and with no cuts to student services.

Clubs As YouX Clubs exhausted the $100,000 allocated to clubs in the 2023 budget, YouX has added an additional $20,000 for the rest of this year! That’s also in addition to the $40,000 spent in its entirety by clubs in a special grant program noted in my last report. This represents a total allocation of $160,000 to Clubs in 2023, of which over $140,000 has already been spent, demonstrating the strength of the clubs community in putting on amazing events. To any club presidents and executive members this year, thank you and keep up the good work!

Earlier in the year, the Board amended the Rule Concerning Committees to allow Club Presidents the right to attend Clubs Committee meetings. This simple change should hopefully facilitate a more open and accountable culture where Club Presidents can observe and contribute to relevant discussions.

Concierge and Exam Rescue Station Forgot your stationary or need a snack before your exam? Never fear, the YouX Exam Rescue Station is here. Operating at Wayville, this YouX-manned stall is full of all the emergency essentials if you find yourself in a pickle.

There’s also a Roseworthy equivalent that is self-serve!

If you’re a YouX member, you can also get yourself some items from the new Concierge station at the YouX HQ in the Hub. For those preparing for your exams and final essays, I wish you the best of luck!

Union House Redevelopment Union House is undergoing a significant redevelopment to improve its look and functionality. Key changes will be a new bookable space for clubs, additional bookable spaces for students, and a new locker area.

Staff and Volunteer Thank You As the end of the year approaches, I want to take the opportunity to thank all of the exceptionally hard working staff and volunteers of YouX and Student Care. Without them, YouX and its services just wouldn’t run. I particularly thank our new Executive Officer Kathryn Howes, who has been integral in ensuring the most recent successes of YouX regarding funding, service provision and transparency.

I also want to thank every student and YouX member who has engaged with YouX this year, whether it be through our clubs, our events, or our services. Your engagement and support give our organisation purpose and vibrancy.

I add my thanks to On Dit this year for their impartial coverage of the Board. Reporting the events of the Board is a thankless but important job (I speak of this from personal experience), and YouX appreciates the constructive relationship that we have shared this year, it does not go unnoticed.

And I finally wish to thank my colleagues on the Board this year. While we may have our differences, we know how to pull together for the betterment of the organisation, and our productivity this year in delivering for clubs, student services and good governance, is a testament to a more positive and consensus-led style of leadership that YouX has not witnessed in years. May it continue in the future.

If you have any questions, please reach out. We are always here to help.

Felix Eldridge

YouX Vice President

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Editors' Edito rs' Picks Picks WONDERING What to deepdive THIS HALLOWEEN? We’ve put together our favourite spooky creatures and supernatural occurances for some haunting inspiration!

Sirens - sen I’m a bit of a monster fiend. I’ve always had an affinity for the macabre, the grotesque, the fucked up — maybe even a soft spot for them.

But ‘monster’ seems like a pretty harsh word to describe creatures so epic. I would say my favourite mythological creature is a siren, for obvious reasons. Sirens mix the magical, the horrific, and the divinely feminine. Their irresistible songs lure pirates and sailors to their death — what more could you ask for! They’re feminist icons that put the mermaid to shame.

Dua Lipa pales in comparison to the Siren, whose songs sound a) way more ethereal and b) have the capacity to give better outcomes for women and men alike.

Vampires - seb Okay, I’ll get the obvious reason out of the way nice and early: Vampires have a certain allure that other monsters don’t have. That’s why we like them. Everyone reading this, you know I’m right! Neck biting’s way better than whatever other monsters have to offer in that regard. Now that that’s out of the way…

My love for Vampires has grown over the course of my writing. They just present so many opportunities!

They’re delightfully lethal with swift reflexes and a taste for suffering, perfect for gory fight scenes. They don’t age, allowing for stories to span decades or centuries. Not to mention the whole ‘they’re such a sweetheart but they crave death’ internal struggle. It’s hard to not like the creatures.

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fav fav monster/cryptid Monster/cryptid The Spiral - kathers This contribution is a bit unusual. Rather than a monster, it’s a curse upon a town that influenced everything and everyone within it. It’s a madness that seeps into your very being, bringing chaos along with it.

This cursed Spiral that haunted the Japanese town Kurozu-cho is brought to life by acclaimed horror mangaka Junji Ito, in his book Uzumaki and believe me, this shit isn’t only creepy, it’s terrifying. What can you do when the Spiral begins to engulf the entire town? What do you do when your enemy is a natural phenomenon - a pattern found on countless things around us: trees, shells, rocks, animal tails, galaxies the list is endless and infinite.

If you love horror, do yourself a favour and check out Junji Itos’ works because they never disappoint.

The Loch ness monster lou Dear old Nessie, the iconic star of Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster, is my obvious pick for best monster. Generally spotted as a plesiosaur ripping through Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands, Nessie was first sighted in 565 CE. She rose to mainstream fame in 1934 with the ‘surgeon’s photo’ (yes, it’s the one you’re thinking of), which captivated the cryptid community for around 60 years.

On his deathbed, one of the contributors confessed it was merely a hoax, made from a toy submarine and plaster. Regrettably, most, though not all, of the Nessie photographs have not held up to scientific scrutiny. She’s dismissed as an object, ships making odd currents, and even as a dog fetching a stick from the Loch. But that hasn’t stopped the sightings, it hasn’t stopped the ripples just beneath the surface of the Loch. Beware, my friends, she may be in there…

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DisabiliDIT

Mask Behind the Mask: Food for Thought

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William Goh

Image adapted from https://www. photosforclass.com/search/mask

I’m a dyslexic mature-age PhD student and I struggle to hide my learning disability at uni. I hid it at TAFE though - masked it like a pro.

I had a mouthful of potato patty and out of nowhere, my nephew pitched, “You didn’t read the menu did you, Bill?”

Dyslexia is a hidden disability. If you look at me or talk to me, you wouldn’t even know that I have a secret. I’d have to tell you… Or you could just catch me reading and writing.

My nephew caught me masking at the café recently.

Mask Uncovered

But, Could You Catch Me? According to Invisible Disability Project (2017), the term ‘hidden disability’ likely originates from ‘invisible handicap’ which was reported as used most significantly to describe ‘shell shock’ (post-traumatic stress disorder soldiers developed during World War I). Many soldiers looked ‘normal’ coming back from the war, but many were silently suffering. Today, soldiers still develop PTSD. In public, if you ask them if they’re okay, they’ll probably say ‘yes’ and smile. Their answer likely masks the truth, as the stigma of mental illness cuts.

Some argue that mental illness falls under the umbrella of neurodivergence (PTSD is an ‘acquired neurodivergence’).

But I didn’t go to war. I have a learning disability I was born with and I suffer from stigma through having this different neurodiversity.

So I loosely relate to the soldiers in that I too mask my neurodivergence.

The Potato Patties Incident So here I am, at the sunny beachside café with my mum, nephew, and grand-nephew. My nephew wanted to talk about dyslexia, as he’s dyslexic and concerned for his toddler, and I’m an open book… or am I? Mum and I ordered potato patties to share, and my nephew got eggs benedict to share with mini-me. During the meal, we chatted about dyslexia. I had recently taken part in a podcast about assistance provided to uni dyslexics, so I had a lot to share.

Shocked! No one has caught me faux-reading a menu. I’ve had many years of practice. I’m so good at masking I even forget I’m doing it. It’s like having a mask on top of a mask. He was right, so I came clean…

Mum passed the menus around. I put mine aside.

Mum said, “What do you want? I’m having the potato patties.” I saw where she was reading, grabbed my menu, and stared at the same spot on it.

Gazing over the menu, I replied, “Not sure.

Not that hungry like normal, so I’ll share with you if that’s ok?”

I then realized I was looking at the drinks menu side, and casually turned the menu over and continued my gazing (my only mistake).

My nephew picked the eggs benedict. I spied where he was reading it from and I looked at that spot on my menu too.

We ordered. Food came. Started eating. My nephew dropped the mic.

I admitted the only menu items I knew in advance were eggs benedict and potato patties.

I didn’t know the potato patties came with a spinach salad, sweet vinegar dressing, and a boiled egg. The salad was a nice surprise upon delivery.

I mask because it protects me from feeling ashamed of what I was born with, even around those who love and accept me. But in doing so, I also learned to listen and memorise what people say. So that’s why you’ll always catch me front and centre in a lecture, focused on every word said.

Reference: Invisible Disability Project (2017) Historical origins of the term invisible disability, https://www.invisibledisabilityproject.org/speak-your-power/invisible-disability-history (last visited 10 Oct 2023).

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Just. Work. Harder.

EconDIT

Over the October long weekend I was waiting for my iced long black (dash of oat milk) and got talking to a retiree. He was still involved in his construction business, drove a shiny new Ram truck, and had just undergone a double knee replacement. He asked me what I was doing with myself and it didn’t take long for him to express his views on the workforce of tomorrow.

“Young people are so soft these days”. “You’re focused on your rights and not your work”.

“Back in my day we had gumption”.

I’m sure everyone has heard complaints about younger generations and their lackluster work ethic. They’re not always colloquial: earlier this year Australia’s Police Commissioner stated that Gen Z needs praise from employers three times a week, compared to once a year for Gen X. The conversation got me thinking. Is there a basis for these claims? Is the socio-economic environment different now compared to the second half of the 20th century? More importantly, what should we do about it?

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Post-WWII Australia saw massive social, political and economic upheavals. The manufacturing and the emerging service industry were booming in response to the rebuilding worldwide. . Raw materials were the name of the game as far as international trade was

concerned, with rapid growth in Asian markets driving this demand. We also see the rise of the welfare state prioritizing governmental support. Industry-leading companies at a state and federal level were government-owned, and free tertiary education was introduced. Social change involved a population boom aided by migration, which spurred urbanization and the expansion of suburbs. These conditions created a growth-oriented economy.

The labour environment was characterized by long-term employment contracts. Jobs were for life. Labour unions had a lot of traction and could represent worker’s interests. Australia’s expanding economy provided opportunities for career growth. While inflation was a definite issue in the 70s, costs of living were low enough that a household could be supported on a single income. The housing market was the stuff of dreams, the average house price in Adelaide in 1973 being one fifth of the price in 2020.

But not everything was paradisal. Working conditions could be dangerous and occupational health & safety wasn’t always a priority - think of asbestos installation. Workplace discrimination was also prevalent (racial, sexual, pretty much everything). Committing yourself to a career that you loved wasn’t always an option.

Australia followed the institutional reform pioneered by our political allies, the UK and the US, from the late 1980s onwards. This saw privatisation of key state enterprises (think Qantas, Telstra and CommBank), increasing the cost to the consumer and reducing employee power. Government spending was cut back. University fees were reinstated. We opened the 90s with our biggest ever recession followed by low economic growth and a high rate of unemployment. Then the tech bubble burst in 2000, we joined a war in the Middle East, and had the Global Financial Crisis in 2008. The 1995-2010 period (which, by the way, is when Gen Z was born) was economically distressing.

The socio-economic environment of today is markedly different to 50 years ago. Since 1990, the share of the labour force under permanent contract has decreased steadily. It is projected that the average worker will have up to 15 different jobs in their lifetime. Unions are less prevalent and the gig economy reduces employees to a number (the decentralisation of the Uber workforce is a great example). Tuition is expensive and job markets are saturated. Graduate programs and unpaid internships are essential just to get a foot in the door. And the cost of living crisis is old news by now. It takes more than a healthy attitude to rise to the top, especially if you’re uneducated.

It’s not all bad either. Rapid social change has improved individual rights, we are the healthiest generation by a wide margin and poverty levels are at an all time low. We also have access to more information than you can shake a stick at. I’d much rather be alive today than 50 years ago.

So where are we heading? We have just been through the most turbulent economic period since the Global Financial Crisis fifteen years ago. Rising inflation, housing shortages, an international pandemic, the highest interest rates in ten years, supply chain shortages, trade protection, government bailouts, a war in Europe…. There is plenty to talk about.

And there are more road bumps on the horizon. Australia’s aging population will have to be supported by the youth of tomorrow, increasing our financial burden. Between the increasing cost of living and low wage growth, we also need to find the cash to afford our own retirement, and that may last longer given advances in medicine. Extensive deregulation has seen dramatic increases in inequality that could surpass those in the 1800s, which is probably bad. Oh, and climate change.

I think it would be frustrating for older generations to listen to us complain about all this.

The truth is, older people really did work hard to get where they are. And no one is denying that hard work is essential to get anywhere in life, irrespective of the economic climate. But economics is rarely linear. Maybe we are obsessed with rights, but why shouldn’t we care about ourselves? Young people, especially post COVID, have realised they want to have a fulfilling career rather than selling themselves to make ends meet, so Gen Z need to work a little smarter to achieve the same successes of our forbearers.

As the leaders of tomorrow we need to collaborate to effect the change we want to see in Australia and the world. This involves a combination of individual responsibility, state-based support networks and societal movements that provide opportunities for our youth. There’s no short-term solution to our situation, but I think we’re ready for the challenge.

George Young

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Fearing Fatness: Fatphobia and Fast Fashion We’re smack-dab in the middle of spooky season, and with Halloween fast approaching, many of us are eagerly hunting for our horrifyingly cute costumes (expect to see plenty of Barbies and Kens this year). Those of us committed to sustainable consumption often turn to local thrift shops, raid our best friends’ closets or scour online marketplaces for unique, eco-friendly pieces that fit both our budgets and environmental ideals. However, what do you do when you’ve exhausted these options and still can’t find what you need?

You might make a quick trip to a Spotlight for a pirate corset and some bell-bottom pants, which, while not the most sustainable choice, can still align with your *cough* economic *cough* student budget. If you manage to reuse that tinsel wig and turn those bell-bottoms into shorts next year, you’re right back on track to being the most environmentally conscious of your friends.

Unfortunately, the quest for ethical and sustainable fashion choices is heavily reliant on the concept of size inclusivity, or rather, the lack thereof. There’s only so many times you can resort to the good old white bed sheet that you cut some eye holes in when you were short on time and creativity a couple years ago, to go as “Casper the Chubby Ghost.” This issue opens up a much broader conversation about size inclusivity and accessibility within sustainable spaces. Just as my fourteen-yearold self deserved better than settling for clothes that made it seem like my gran and I shared a wardrobe, plus-size people deserve access to affordable clothing that empowers us to create the ways in which we want to be perceived.

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A lack of size inclusivity stems from the concept of fatphobia, which has its roots in anti-blackness. In Sabrina Strings’ book “Fearing the Black Body - The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia”, the author dives into the Enlightenment era assumption that associated fatness with “savagery” and “racial inferiority”. The author presents that fatphobia doesn’t have much to do with the idea of health and well-being, but that it rather serves as a tool to legitimise prejudices related to race, class, and gender.

When discussing fatphobia within sustainable spaces, it becomes essential to examine the challenges faced by low-income individuals inhabiting larger bodies, who find themselves forced to participate in fast fashion to find trendy or even just stylish pieces. Prior to securing full-time employment, Kmart and Shein (yes, I know, I know) were some of the only places I could buy semi-decent clothing items in sizes 20 and above.

The idea of participating in fast fashion is not something that any person who is concerned about the ethics of our purchases is comfortable doing, yet being able to customise how I present myself has been essential to the creation of my identity.

There are certainly other plus-size individuals who are more dedicated to sustainability and possess a better fashion sense than I, and they are able to navigate this issue without having to resort to fast fashion. However, for those of us in larger bodies on a budget, who genuinely wish to make conscientious purchases but don’t have a remarkable fashion sense and the time to peruse op-shops weekly for their one desirable plus size piece, this situation presents a complex and multifaceted challenge. I’ve personally moved on from my fast fashion days and am now fortunate enough to be in a position where I can afford to invest in sustainable plus-size pieces. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that this option is simply not viable for everyone, and to give fat people the nuance we deserve.

References Strings, S 2019, Fearing the Black body: the racial origins of fat phobia, New York University Press. ty-numbers

The Adelaide Sustainability Association (ASA) at the University of Adelaide are a social group interested in learning more about sustainability and getting to know like-minded students. You can learn more about the ASA & chat about our Sustainabili-dit articles via our social media channels: @ Adelaide Sustainability Association on Facebook @instainable on Instagram.

Elsje Olivier

SUSTAINABILI- DIT

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1.\

Should public hospitals be required to provide abortion services as a condition of funding?

socialist alternative: Written by Ashraf Abdul Hamin & El Hall A parliamentary inquiry into reproductive health has concluded that access to abortion in Australia remains a postcode lottery with only a small percentage of abortions a performed in public hospitals. We support making abortion universally accessible and it’s a blight on the Labor party that they refuse to codify this into law, thus blocking this option for a large majority of working class people.

GREENS CLUB: Written by William Pincombe Absolutely. Abortion is not just legal, but a basic service that should be available to anyone who wishes it. Public hospitals are there to serve the community and as a bare minimum need to be equipped to provide all basic health care services - abortion included. People shouldn’t have to jump through endless hoops and spend a fortune to access abortion services.

Liberal club: Written by Henry Southcott No, legislation like this would significantly disadvantage rural hospitals that don’t have the ability to provide all services. Coober Pedy Country Hospital doesn’t even permanently have birthing services. Under your proposal, if they don’t provide abortion services, they shouldn’t be funded? That just doesn’t make sense.

labor CLUB: Written by Steph Madigan Yes. Despite abortion legalisation, many public hospitals stonewall people seeking abortions due to overburdened and/or staunchly pro-life staff. A Senate Inquiry found that pregnant people outside cities often travelled 200 kilometres to find a provider, while 4% travelled interstate. Public hospitals cannot justify Commonwealth funding until non-legal barriers to access abortion are addressed.

Image Licensed under CC0 1.0 We the people. Original public domain image from Wikimedia Commons

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2.\

Experts have warned Adelaide has the lowest vacancy rates for properties in Australia as not enough homes are being built.

W hat is one thing you would do to address this issue?

socialist alternative:

Liberal CLUB:

Written by Ashraf Abdul Hamin & El Hall

The vacancy rate is about rental property supply and demand. Currently, there are too many renters and not enough houses and landlords. Construction companies have been going broke because they can’t keep up with the required demand from overpromising to receive all the subsidies and grants. More housing is the only way to house more people.

During the last census it was revealed that thousands of houses in Adelaide lay empty and dormant despite the fact that we’re currently in the midst of a housing crisis. Worn down public housing is torn down nationally & replaced with ‘social & affordable’ housing that’s for-profit. The issue isn’t supply, but the fact that capitalism has created housing as a product to be sold on the market, not a human right. We should seize homes that have been empty for multiple years and turn them into public housing.

GREENS CLUB: Written by William Pincombe Build more public homes. For too long public housing has been chronically underfunded, privatised and not prioritised. The federal government had the chance to spend its billions of surplus on public housing but chose not to. The state government recently acquired the West End site to boost housing supply; and chose to designate only 20% as “social and affordable” rather than public homes.

Written by Henry Southcott

labor CLUB: Written by Steph Madigan Amend the Residential Tenancies Act 1995 to: Reduce bond costs to two weeks, require landlords to provide long-term or indefinite leases as happens in other countries, and outlaw refusal to grant tenancy because of someone’s marital status, criminal history or drug use. Also, impose a Canadian-style vacancy tax to crack down on Airbnbs letting millions of dwellings to sit empty.

Image: Charlie Milne

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3.\

If Donald Trump is elected as president, should Australia reconsider its tight relationship with the United States?

socialist alternative: Written by Ashraf Abdul Hamin & El Hall Donald Trump and Joe Biden both follow in a long line of U.S. Presidents who have committed crimes they will never be imprisoned for, such as forcing workers back during a pandemic and continuing racist torture camps for refugees.

We should be cutting ties with the US militarily no matter who is sitting in the Oval Office and put the $368bn AUKUS submarine funding towards healthcare, housing and education.

GREENS CLUB: Written by William Pincombe We should reconsider our tight relationship with the US anyway. If Trump is re-elected, there is a strong chance of the US descending into authoritarian dictatorship which would make them dangerous to work with. And we can see a glimpse of how Trump would treat US “allies” with his desire to sell out Ukraine to Russia.

Liberal CLUB: Written by Henry Southcott The simple answer is no. If Trump is elected by the American people, Australia should continue our close relationship with the United States. They are an economic and military powerhouse, and what happens over there affects us directly and indirectly.

labor CLUB: Written by Steph Madigan Yes. The Republican party’s worldview is an existential threat to global peace and stability. Trump equivocates over Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, opposes the Iran nuclear deal, and ignores human rights abuses in China. According to the Lowy Institute (2023), 77% of Australians believe the US alliance increases the risk of war in Asia. Whereas Trump is in favour of retreating from the world and antagonising Asia, Australia should deepen and diversify its partnerships in the Indo-Pacific instead.

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1. What would be the most iconic Halloween costume?

2. What’s something unconventional that scares you?

3. What’s one thing you’d do differently this year if you could?

VOX POP VOX POP

1. Honestly, any of the basics monsters like a vampire or zombie but with an absurd amount of effort put it. Like over-thetop effort.

2. I don’t know how unconventional this is, but falling is something that scares me. Most people hate heights, I don’t mind them, its more so falling that gets me.

3. Spend more time reading for myself. I feel like I’ve brought more books this year than ever, but I’ve just been reading stuff for my classes.

Anthony Zougras.he/him B.Int_Rel/B._Arts(History)

2. Stonefish. Stonefish are the most venomous fish in the sea. Its camouflage lets it appear like a rock but if you step on it, its sting can kill you. Apparently being stung feels like being hit multiple times with a sledgehammer.

3. Work harder AND smarter.

Steph Madigan.she/her

B.Arts_Advanced

POP XOV

1. Not a singular Halloween costume, per se, but a trend where people dress up as their worst fears. I want to see people dressed as hypodermic needles, as public speakers, as big hairy spiders, as the abstract concept of familial rejection. Great stuff.

History Corner: The life and times of Mary Shelley Content warning: mentions of suicide, miscarriage, and child death Maybe you’ve heard of the rainy summer spent on Lake Geneva? Or the proposition to write ghost stories? But that is not the whole story of Mary Shelley.

Born in Northwest London in 1797, Mary Shelley was the daughter of two writer/philosophers: Mary Wollstonecraft and William Godwin. When Wollstonecraft fell pregnant, the two married despite both having previously advocated against the institution of marriage. This lost them several friends, particularly as it clarified that Wollstonecraft had never been married to the father of her oldest daughter…

Unfortunately, while the marriage was happy, it was also short. Wollstonecraft developed an infection after Mary’s birth and died of septicaemia seven days later.

Mary received an uncharacteristically good, though informal, education for the time. She had tutors, spent time with her father’s political activist connections, and was encouraged to read and write politically. Godwin also raised her to love her mother, giving her access to Wollstonecraft’s letters and his memoir of her life. Mary spent a lot of time sitting and reading at her mother’s grave.

Yet misfortune still followed Mary. Her father, facing constant debt, had married Mary Jane Clairmont in 1901 (are there enough Marys yet?).

Mary gained two more stepsiblings and a substantial dislike of her stepmother.

Louise Jackson 24

And then came Percy Bysshe Shelley. Percy was 21 to Mary’s 16, married to a woman he didn’t seem to like, and estranged from his aristocratic family for the radical political beliefs he’d picked up from Godwin’s writings. He had agreed to bail Godwin out of debt, but backed out of the deal.

Godwin was livid.

Percy and Mary met in secret at the grave of Wollstonecraft, where they eventually declared their love for each other. The particularly impressive part of the mythology is the loss of Mary’s virginity upon her mother’s grave.

Godwin greatly disapproved of the relationship, and the couple left for France with Mary’s stepsister Claire. They returned with Mary pregnant, and in debt, to find Godwin still giving them the cold shoulder.

Mary’s baby was born early and died not long after. She was haunted by visions of her baby and deeply depressed. A second pregnancy by the summer would lift spirits slightly.

The next summer would see the conception of Frankenstein. Percy, Mary, and their healthy son William would travel to Lake Geneva to stay with Lord Byron, John William Polidori, and Mary’s stepsister Claire (freshly pregnant with Byron’s child).

It was not the weather for relaxing by the Lake, but it was the weather for ghost stories. Byron proposed that they all attempt to write one, however it took Mary some time to arrive upon an idea. Only after a discussion of the nature of life did inspiration strike, in what Mary would describe as ‘a waking dream’.

She was encouraged by Percy to expand her story into a full novel, published two years later in 1918. Thus begins the lengthy debate on the authorship of Frankenstein. Many (men) have suggested Percy heavily contributed to the story.

Other scholarship on the original manuscripts suggests he probably did less to the novel than most modern-day editors would. The book was assumed to be the work of Percy at first, as it was published anonymously, with a preface by him, and a dedication to Godwin.

Taking a quick dip back to 1916, Mary and Percy finally married in December. Sadly, they were able to do this not because he had finally divorced his poor, abandoned first wife, but because she had died by suicide two weeks prior.

The couple moved, again with Claire, in 1918 to gallivant around Italy. But by the next year, both their third-born Clara and their second born William had died of disease. This returned Mary to a deep depression. Despite this, Italy remained a place where the couple were able to explore their political radicalism and live it out in ways England would never let them. Mary fell pregnant again at the end of 1919, and gave birth to her fourth child, Percy Florence – her first child who would make it to adulthood.

In 1822, some of the Italian travellers spent the summer on the coast with a new boat. The boat would cause one of the last big tragedies of Mary’s life: the death of Percy Shelley. His body washed up on the shore after a failed sailing expedition, leaving Mary with only her son and her writing.

She spent much of the remainder of her life in England, first staying with her (finally reconciled) father and stepmother. Though Percy’s father refused to associate with her, she was able to negotiate an allowance for Percy Florence, which allowed the rent of a house near Godwin. She continued to write, though none of her books reached the same notoriety as Frankenstein. Her feminist political observations always seeped through in her work.

She also worked as a translator and editor. In this time, she promoted Percy’s poetry, compiling a book of his works. After the death of Percy’s father in 1844, Percy Florence and Mary finally reached a financially comfortable position.

Mary spent her last years ill, finally passing away from a suspected brain tumour in 1851 at 53.

Mary Shelley didn’t receive enough credit during her lifetime, and only received her dues during the feminist movement of the 20th Century.

Frankenstein may have surpassed her in fame, but we have the wild life of Mary Shelley to thank for her contribution to the canon.

References: Bennett, B.T. & Curran, S 2000, Mary Shelley in Her Times, 1st edn, Johns Hopkins University Press, Baltimore.

Sampson, F 2018, ‘Frankenstein at 200 – why hasn’t Mary Shelley been given the respect she deserves?’, The Guardian, 13 January, <https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/jan/13/ frankenstein-at-200-why-hasnt-mary-shelley-been-given-therespect-she-deserves->.

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Truly Malaysian Village, Allenby Gardens You can take the girl out of Malaysia, but you can’t take Malaysia out of the girl. This Malay-owned restaurant isn’t afraid to have a little bit of fun with their menu: it’s a revolving door of authentic Malaysian cuisine as dishes served rotate each week from familiar favourites like Nasi Lemak and Laksa to more uncommon ones (at least in Australia) like Nasi Kandar and Asam Pedas Ikan Bawal. You will never get bored of this one!

Places I Love in South Australia Asirah Abdul Kadir A friend visiting from interstate asks me what she should do and eat in Adelaide. I can feel my brain slowly malfunction not because there’s nothing to do here (a very hurtful misconception of Adelaide, by the way) but because suggesting things becomes pretty hard when you’ve lived in a place for so long. Places tend to form part of and blend into your mental landscape making a tourist spot, for example, just another spot you drive by on your commutes to uni.

But after receiving that question, I was motivated to pen down some places in Adelaide that I think are worth visiting. That way if an interstate friend visits again, I’ll be able to name some places off the top of my head.

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Matilda Bookshop, Stirling Ok, I love Stirling. There, I said it! How could I not when it houses my favourite bookstore? It’s always so cosy and homey in there, and the titles they carry are impressive too from classics to new releases. A visit to this joint is best paired with a hot choco from Red Cacao.

Red Cacao, Stirling One thing about me, I’m always down for a sweet treat and what better place to find them than at a chocolatier? The people at Red Cacao are masters in what they do. Their skill and passion for chocolates are reflected deliciously in their specialty hot chocolates and warm waffles. You have to visit in autumn for the full fall effect.

Real Falafel, CBD My experiences with falafels have been less than ideal. They were mainly served on western airlines as an alternative to halal food, so you can imagine how subpar it was. But everything changed the moment I took a bite of Real Falafel’s falafels. The crunch, the flavour, and the fact that they’re made to order makes paying $10 for a pack of 10 spheres worth it.

The Art Gallery of South Australia, CBD Specifically on First Fridays. First Fridays is a monthly event where the art gallery closes a little later and comes alive with all sorts of themed activities inspired by the collection on display. You will stumble upon live music on the gallery’s lawn, guest talks, and even an arts and crafts corner for you to create your own masterpieces. Great way to spend a Friday night in town, me thinks.

Fermoy House, North Adelaide Sir David Roche AM was one of Australia’s most prominent art collectors, and you can have a tour of his home in North Adelaide which houses his expansive collection. If you’re a fan of Knives Out or Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette, I think you’ll feel at home here.

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Study Time Management Made Simple Have you ever made study plans but found it hard to stick to them even for a week? Try out these tips, as they may help!

1. Start now and small Feeling discouraged from starting your study session and want to delay it as much as possible?

Try keeping your study habit doable so that you will not dread starting it.

Firstly, time your first study session and record the time taken to lose focus or fall asleep. Keep your study session within this length of time and repeat it until you are confident and comfortable.

Then, add another 10 or so minutes and repeat the new length before extending it further.

The key is to stay consistent and let your mind get used to the study load at its own pace rather than setting a new fixed period outright.

2. Treat yourself Never forget that the current you is a human too!

Simran Kaur, the founder of the number-one stock market podcast for women – Girls That Invest, once said, ‘There is no joy in living a life where you deprive yourself of every small joy just to serve future you.’

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Having 30-minute breaks for each study session that is more than 2 hours could allow you to reorganise your thoughts, but also serves as a reward for completing another study session of the day. The cumulative effect of not taking any breaks could be detrimental emotionally.

Make sure to get out of your study area and walk around! Studies by the ULCA have linked sedentary lifestyles with the thinning of the brain region important for memory formation.

Furthermore, sedentary breaks could make you sleepy rather than refreshed for the next study session.

During the break, try to avoid looking at any texts. Remember that this is the time to relax your eye muscles and brain from any information intake.

3. Enough sleep and breaks = less propensity of micro naps How much is enough sleep? Do your current sleep hours keep you refreshed throughout the day with little to no stimulants and naps required? If yes, experts have suggested that those hours would be your recommended sleep time.

4. Regular and moderate diet Eating your meals in regular intervals could reduce the likelihood of snacking and hunger from distracting you from your studies. Besides having a short nap or walk after each meal, keeping your meals in moderate portions can minimise post-diet sleepiness. Different foods can affect your sleepiness differently; hence, keeping a note of the ones that affect you could help with your future meal plans.

Overall, the key takeaways are to master the habit of starting your study session, gradually extend the length of these sessions in small increments,, have regular active breaks, and learn to improve other factors that influence your readiness to study.

Fionne chai ping ngam 29

Contact Student Care for assistance with any issue which is affecting your ability to study successfully.

Call (08) 8313 5430 Email studentcare@adelaide.edu.au 30

youx.org.au/studentcare

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Worm in my Brain 32

A Daemon. Righteous, according to itself. ‘Totally righteous, dude’, in fact. Weed, the stench is everywhere. Righteous indeed. Nothing more virtuous than drugs. Shit in my pants, A radically righteous shit. Explosive, yet relieving. A problem. Shit in my pants.

Jimmy’s pink eye. Gross. Beyond gross. So gross in fact, a slew of vomit, on my pants. Righteous how exactly?

Shit and vomit, not too righteous. Nor pink eye.

A thought. Worm in my brain. Worm in my Brain.

Worm In My Brain! WORM IN MY BRAIN! Fork in my brain. A fork and a worm in my brain. How? Why? The Daemon?

Jimmy. Missing? Where? Dark outside. Since when?

No buildings outside. Since when? No longer inside a building. Since when?

Fork in my brain.

Shit in my pants.

Insect in my ear.

In the sky. Buildings below. Since when?

Fork in my brain.

Pants clear.

Rat on my head. Wearing a hat. Gustavo. Daemon?

Gustavo? Since when?

Jimmy here. Jimmy there. Jimmy nowhere.

Gustavo on Jimmy.

Fork in his skull.

Fork in his brain.

Gustavo with a fork.

A daemon?

Insect in my ear.

Fork in his brain.

Fork in my brain.

Daemon in my head.

Daemon in my brain.

Daemon with a fork.

Gustavo the Righteous Daemon.

Or Gustavo the Rat? Since when?

Where?

Gustavo in the sky.

Gustavo on my head.

Gustavo in my brain.

Worms in my brain. Fork in my skull.

Vomit everywhere.

Pink eye.

Worm in the vomit.

Worm in my pink eye.

Pink eye, pink worm.

Gustavo the worm.

Fork.

Mulberry jam.

One, two, three.

Three radios.

Sounds of Gustavo from the radios.

Gustavo in the mulberry radio.

Gustavo the worm rat.

Gustavo.

Gustavo.

Lewis Caon

forks. brains. insect. shit. pants. daemon.

Daemon? Since when? Where?

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Tribunal ruling declares calls new election

Louise Jackson

It’s the election cycle that keeps on giving!

On 16 October, the Elections Tribunal ruled the provisional results of the SRC President election ‘void’. Georgia Thomas (Unite) was found to have breached Rule 39.4.16 of the Election Rules.

The complainant provided evidence of Thomas paying for the YouX membership of a prospective Unite candidate. Under the Tribunal’s ruling, this payment constituted a ‘gift’ to ‘exert undue influence’ to encourage the candidate to stand for election with Unite.

The Tribunal has formally reprimanded her for breaching the Rule.

This comes after the disqualification of El Hall (Left Action) from the SRC Presidential election due to a complaint from Thomas. Thomas was declared SRC President in a recount.

As two out of the four candidates for the position have now faced Tribunal rulings, an election for SRC President has been called by the Tribunal for March 2024. The material effect of the rule breaches on the election results cannot be confidently assumed.

Thomas and Hall are not prohibited from standing in this election, and any additional candidates are permitted to nominate. Essentially, the election for 2024 SRC President is a clean slate.

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The ‘alleged recipient’ of Thomas’ payment was not the complainant, and requested that the Tribunal not identify them. In providing a response to the Tribunal, the alleged recipient asked not to be involved in the investigation and did not provide evidence. The alleged recipient ‘submitted that the complainant had no standing to make the report’ and they did not want the Tribunal to investigate further.

The complaint was made by Cyrus Kelly (Transparency), the provisional runner-up for the recounted position of SRC President.

Kelly confirms he ‘did not have the consent of the person… to file the report’ and issues a ‘solemn apology’ to them. He still stands by his complaint as the ‘conduct affects everyone involved in the electoral process’.

Thomas labelled the complaint as ‘opportunistic and disingenuous’.

The Tribunal ruled the complaint was valid, as Kelly’s own election results may have been impacted by an earlier complaint.

He states he was ‘genuinely concerned’ by Thomas’ conduct and characterises the Rule breach as ‘a far greater breach of the electoral process than [Hall’s]’.

SRC President results void, for the role Responding to the Tribunal, Thomas confirmed that she had paid for the alleged recipient’s YouX membership so they would be eligible to nominate for candidacy.

Thomas claimed the payment only occurred after the alleged recipient had begun the nomination process, and did not influence their decision to stand as a candidate. She provided screenshots of her conversation with the alleged recipient as further evidence.

The Tribunal found the messages in some cases undermined Thomas’ claims. The messages (not provided in the ruling due to the alleged recipients request for anonymity) show Thomas thanking the alleged recipient for nominating. The alleged recipient found they could not nominate as they did not hold a YouX membership.

‘continu[ing] to press the Alleged Recipient to accept the payment’. The payment was eventually accepted, and nomination completed.

The ruling takes into account the alleged recipient’s reluctance or neutrality toward nomination.

While they did not go so far as conclusively ruling a bribe had occurred, the Rule does cover ‘gifts’ and the ‘exert[ion] of undue influence’, which Thomas was reprimanded for.

Thomas calls for further ‘questioning into the cost of YouX membership as a requirement to stand for election’.

What happens next?

The requirement for a paid YouX membership to stand as a candidate in student elections was rejected by all faction representatives at the 2023 StuPol Debate.

The interim Presidential vacancy is in the hands of the SRC. Rule 9b of the SRC Constitution, and the SRC Casual Vacancy Policy will form the basis of their decisions.

Thomas offered to pay the alleged recipient’s fee, noting she believes the fee to be an economic barrier for candidacy. The alleged recipient expressed doubts about nominating.

The Tribunal characterised Thomas as

Our understanding is the position will be advertised as a casual vacancy, and a candidate then selected by the Council based on application.

An elected SRC President will be decided by students from 25 March 2024 (Week 5).

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YouX Student Employment offer personalised support, discounted short courses, and a free jobs board to help you find a part-time or casual job while you study.

Visit youx.org.au/employment or speak with us on (08) 8313 4406 for advice and support.

youx.org.au/employment 37

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Barmh-Mi I slice the skin and saw into bone; still warm, the blood pours out.

I move to the sink, placing the arm in the colander - I didn’t think this through. My tongue slips between my lips, licking the drop or two that graced my face. I debone the arm, taking care to remove any fragments from the fingers; you don’t want small shards of bone present in your ‘bread’ when adding the fillings.

As the last drops fall into the silver basin, I grab the slices of ‘pork’, seasoned with lemongrass, from the fridge and fry it up. My friends love discount pork, and this ‘pork’ was practically free. I almost forgot to grab the pickled ‘carrot’ and ‘cucumber’. My hand snakes through the fridge door once more to retrieve them from their refrigerated coffin - their owners don’t need them any more.

The oven light has gone out - it’s reached temperature to bake. I grab the arm from the sink, massaging the flesh to ensure the inner stays soft and tender. It’s important to liberally coat the outside with ‘oil’, to ensure the crust develops a satisfying crunch.

While the ‘bread’ bakes, I prepare the filling ingredients. I cut chunks of the cooled lemongrass ‘pork’, and strips of ‘cucumber’ and pickled ‘carrot’. I can’t get over how good the pickled ‘carrot’ is. I pop a sneaky piece into my mouth, savouring the tang of the sweet and sour combo which tingles in my mouth.

The best way to know when barmh’mi bread is ready is the fingers.

First, the nails will start to brown. It’s best when the shade is the same as a morning ‘coffee’, with one ‘sugar’ and a dash of ‘milk’. The second sign, for fine tuning, is the curl of the fingers. The more curled the fingers, the crispier it is.

I pull the ‘bread’ out of the oven, letting it rest for 15 minutes. I slice it lengthwise, along the same cut I made earlier and begin adding in the fillings. I add a healthy dose of coriander and chilli - a personal preference. Some people don’t enjoy these ingredients, but I argue they’re integral for barmh’mi. Because the arm is a particularly long loaf, I slice it into thirds. Sprinkle a bit more coriander on top for garnish, and there it is. The perfect dish for my lovely friends.

Kathers Anderson

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Codger or Crook: Unpopularity As the 2024 United States Presidential election looms, swing and undecided voters are weighing up the important questions. Such as ‘Which is worse? Being under indictment for attempting to undermine and overthrow a democratic election, or being old?’ and ‘Which is more important? Food and gas being a few bucks cheaper, or the survival of the United States as an (albeit very flawed) democracy?’

American politics truly is cooked.

Any expectation that a Trump v Biden rematch will be a slam dunk for the latter, should absolutely be tossed aside. Because of the questions above, the answer is painfully obvious to us and a rational society. And by now, we should know that the United States is not a rational society. Enough American voters truly are grappling with these questions, to make it, at least at this stage, a truly competitive race.

Just how tight is it? The national popular vote is a dead heat, with the lead swapping, but no candidate ever leading by more than a few points. This is bad for Biden. The slight Republican bias in the electoral college means a Democrat should want a comfortable popular vote lead in order to overcome this. Polls in crucial swing states such as Arizona, Pennsylvania, and Nevada mirror the tight national vote. Trump does face a bit of an uphill climb here- of the eight states decided by less than 5% in 2020, he almost needs a clean sweep to win.

But it’s certainly possible. He was just one state shy of this in 2016.

It isn’t that Trump’s gotten more popular. He hasn’t – with a net negative approval rating of 19%, he’s as unpopular as ever. Additionally, 60% of Americans (including a third of his own party) don’t want him to run again. It’s just that the economy (or perceptions of it) are so

incredibly lousy that enough voters are willing to look past the fact he attempted a minor overthrow of democracy. While the US economy boasts continued growth and rising employment, voters are crunched every day by the shockingly high prices of food and gasoline.

Gasoline prices have on average doubled since 2020, from $2 to $4. Food inflation is 3.9%, which is pretty much the same as in 2020.

However, unlike in 2020, they have just come down from a shocking 10.4%.

For many voters, the uncomfortable truth is that moral repugnancy, and attempted coup aside… things were a lot cheaper under Trump.

By an 11-point margin, voters trust Trump over Biden to handle the economy. As one Biden pollster pointed out, since this question was first asked in 1991, a Democrat who hasn’t led on the question or at least kept it tied, has lost. Trump’s role in inciting the January 6 riots, and his ongoing legal issues, continue to weigh on voters’ minds – and not in a way that favours him – but the allure of cheaper food and gasoline may be too much to resist.

Voluntary voting ensures that US elections are a popularity (or unpopularity) contest, and Biden has a lot to worry about on this front.

Over two-thirds of his party wish he weren’t running at all! Crucial demographics such as young, black, and Latino voters record lower levels of interest, while more Republican-friendly demographics such as older, and white voters are more motivated. This decline in Democratic enthusiasm can come down to a few factors, but it’s hard to ignore the impact of Biden’s age.

The Ultimate Contest

Biden is the oldest person to be elected president and many voters are uneased by the reality that he’ll be 86 upon leaving office. 77% of adults believe that Biden is too old to effectively serve, including 69% of Democrats! The majority of those Democrats will vote for him, because, well, the alternative is too disgusting to stomach. Others may flirt with Trump (ew). And other, predominantly younger voters, may vote for progressive Independent (formerly Greens Party) candidate, philosopher/activist Cornel West. A non-negligible shift towards the West could very well imperil Biden in knife-edge swing states.

Others will just stay home and not vote at all. If this continues, then Trump’s blend of diehard fanatics (those who would crawl over broken glass to vote for him), and uneasy supporters concerned about the economy, could prove a fatal mix for Biden.

The elephant in the room is, of course, the uncertainty surrounding Trump’s multiple ongoing criminal cases and how these affect his standing with voters. Nearly two-thirds of voters are concerned by his indictments, while nearly half of Republicans would refuse to vote for him if he were convicted of a felony. There’s no way around it, losing that many Republicans would well and truly leave dead his hopes of getting elected president.

But as I said: uncertainty. Concrete timelines have yet to be set for the trials. The sheer number of defendants in the Georgia trial leaves open the potential for delayed proceedings, potentially beyond the election. Not to mention that while 45% of Republicans may say they’d refuse to vote for him, saying that now is a lot different than actually following through. Especially given that the majority of Republicans believe that the indictments are politically motivated and unjust, it’s hard not to see at the end of the day, this refusal to vote for Trump weakening.

Sebastian Andrew

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45

12 Steps To A Long and Fulfilling Death:

Interview with Sarah Smith

If you knew you were going to die on Friday night, would you do things differently? This is the question that arrests the reader in the opening chapter of 12 Steps To A Long and Fulfilling Death, the debut novel from Australian screenwriter Sarah Smith (IG: sarah_says).

on it, because a) I was always too busy and b) I wasn’t sure whether I was able to do it. Then, because I was there I felt like I [could] describe everything around me. It was like being immersed in my own research project.

Set amongst the glitz and glam of Hollywood, this page-turning murder mystery follows 28-year-old Stacey, a ghost with unfinished business trying to piece together the events that led to her death by car crash. On the case are Detectives Beaufontaine and Garafino, with a dynamic reminiscent of Mulder and Scully. Far from a Mary Sue, Stacey is a flawed yet empathetic protagonist plagued by depression, an abusive ex, and parental baggage. With its many allusions, this is an obvious love letter to crime and supernatural stories. If you vibe with the Eagles’ Hotel California, then you will love this novel.

You’ve racked up an impressive number of credits for Australian TV, several of which are detective stories. What drew you to the thriller genre?

I sat down with Sarah to unravel her journey from conception to publication.

Why did you choose the setting of LA as opposed to somewhere closer to home?

I had moved to LA [for work] and was living there for three years, so it was all fairly exciting, but then it all became a waiting pattern. I think when you go to a new city, you observe it and take it all in. You’re slightly on the outside. So back in Australia, I would have been like, ‘Oh, what’s the next show? What am I doing?’ You just get on with your work, whereas here I had time on my hands. And so I thought, ‘What better time to see if I could write a novel?’ I had thought about it over the years but hadn’t acted

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It’s not so much the ‘who’, but the ‘why’ for me: ‘Well, why did that happen?’ [The book] The Lovely Bones always stuck with me. There was always something to unfold, and then in film, something like The Sixth Sense or even the movie Ghost. They’re ghost stories, but they’ve also got a murder mystery wrapped around them. So I had that in my head about doing those two things together. Just coming back to why LA? Thematically, there is a sense of a lot of ghosts there. Quite literally, because it was the murder capital for a while in the 70s. But also because people come and go, it’s a place that attracts a lot of people because of film and TV. There’s a lot of people that it doesn’t work out for and they disappear from view, and even the ones that have been successful, the Hollywood Boulevard of Stars. There’s a lot of names you recognise and there’s a lot of names you don’t, so that sort of thing of life being fleeting, fame being fleeting.

How does the process of writing for the screen differ from writing a novel?

What challenges did you face working in a different medium?

With TV, the fact is the script is not the end.

The script is a part of the process. So no one’s going to be reading the script other than the actors and director, and what people do is they watch the end product. So script writing is a particular craft in which, the big print, the prose part of the story, the art of it is to keep it quite minimal. So you don’t describe what’s going on in someone’s head. You might be able to tell that through dialogue or what’s happening visually in the scene, but you also try to keep your descriptions within the scenes very sparse.

So, coming to novel writing, that took a bit of retraining.

A defining characteristic of Stacey is that she feels unfulfilled in her career as an interior designer, compared to her friends who have hotshot jobs in law and PR, as she dropped out of college.

Can the novel be read as a metaphor for this stage of a 20-something-year-old’s life?

Yeah, I’ve had those periods in my life. I mean, I did drop out of uni. I went to uni when I was 17 and I dropped out by 19 and had kids. I finally went back to uni in my late 20s, where I actually picked up script writing. So that’s where I discovered, ‘Okay, I can do this.’ It is definitely a period of reflection around that late 20s-30 age. Where you stop and go, ‘Oh, is this where I wanted to be? Is this who I think I am?’

And we have friends that we went to school or uni with, that we’ve maybe grown apart from.

While you don’t want to compare yourself to everybody else, often you think, ‘Oh, they’re very successful, why aren’t I?’ I do believe, if Stacey hadn’t ended up dead, she would have found herself.

Why the emphasis on 12-step programs?

LA, apart from being a mecca for film and television, there’s the other industry around it, which is wellness - because people are in and

out of rehab. It’s a high pressure lifestyle. So people are trying to reinvent themselves all the time. There’s 12-step programs for everything.

Alcoholic is the obvious one. I didn’t want to criticise the program. It’s that thing of [Stacey] going to a psychologist to try and figure out her problems, and at the same time, not really committing to anything. But I wanted to have someone that wasn’t quite straight and you could believe, ‘Could he be the suspect?’

Do you have any advice for women wanting to break into the TV industry?

Sometimes we can be too shy in asking for help.

Ringing around, meeting producers, asking if you can sit in on a plot room is always a valuable thing to do. It’s about being personable. If people like you, they’re more inclined to give you something. So work on your own shows, for sure. It’s a tough road to get something up, especially when you don’t have any experience.

Try and get into a writers’ room somewhere. By and large, people are very amenable to helping where they can.

Charlotte Whincup

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Macarons

of the Adelaide CBD Just Bliss

Gawler Place ($3.30) An excellent variety of flavours.

Smooth, crispy shell with a chewy centre. Perfection! 5/5

Providore

The Central Market ($4.50) Decadent chocolate and caramel flavours. Hollow, crumbly shell.

Not a very “authentic” macaron.

3/5

Love, Stephy

Hindley Street ($3.50)

A bit dense and undercooked.

Great rose flavour, but otherwise ordinary. This café usually has a more extravagant selection. 2/5 48

San Churro

East Rundle Street ($3.00) Classic macarons, stored chilled. A great selection of flavours. I highly recommend lemon. 4.5/5

Daily Planet

Waymouth Street ($3.70) Hard shell, chewy interior. Delicious cheesecake flavour. Fruity, subtle, and adorable design. 4.8/5

Coles

Rundle Place ($1.50) A great cheap option. Raspberry flavour is good, but other cremes disappoint. Stored frozen, so very dense. 2.5/5

Ella hunter

(they/she), a macaron lover who fails miserably at making them.

Sen’s Big 1. What is Kintsugi?

2. What are evil force users called in the Star Wars franchise?

3. In Dante’s Inferno, how many circles of hell are there?

4. Who voices Lightning Mcqueen in pixar’s Cars?

5. Which zelda game is the first in the official Timeline?

6. What are strawberries classified as?

7. What country is France’s largest border with?

8. What was the last year in which all state and federal governments were held by the labor party?

9. What company created the banjo kazooie franchise?

10. In Alphabetical order, what would be the fifth planet from the sun?

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Quiz 11. WHat colour is worn by lily from duolingo?

12. How many nights must a playeer survive in the five nights at freddy’s games?

13. What clef would you typically read if you play a viola?

14. Fill in the blank: the monster mash, it was a _________ smash 15. what does quoth the raven?

16. Which New zealand comedy legend passed away this october?

17. Who wrote dracula?

18. Which is the correct spelling: entrepenuor or entrepreneur 19. What was the weapon of choice of jason voorhees?

20. Smash or pass: Jack skellington.

Answers on page 66.

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“Unions and Campaigns: Is Politics Eco-Friendly?”

Election campaigns are the most direct opportunity for everyday constituents to have their voices heard on political matters. Increasingly, the topic of climate change is at the forefront of people’s minds when they vote, but it can also play a role in how the very nature of the campaign is managed. With people bearing this in mind and giving their top votes to eco-friendly parties, there becomes strong public demand for climate action, and so increases the likelihood of the government prioritizing this action.

In politics, the most effective policy changes come through a configuration of individual behaviours, public will, and government legislation. The broad area of environmentalism is a key example of this: individuals do what they can to reduce their carbon footprints, groups of people collaborate through citizen activism to lobby for government change, and the legislature enacts policies that reduce carbon emissions to a larger scale.

Labour unions and political parties are taking notice of the growing demand that jobs be eco-friendly. While some unions remain in support of current highly polluting industries, others view ‘green jobs’ as an opportunity for industrial renewal and economic growth. So, can unions balance the paradox of protecting working people, and protecting the planet; and how can politics lead the way for environmental safeguards? These issues are growing, and the solutions are becoming more apparent.

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Green Unions Labour and trade unions are important contributors to sustainable economics, with rankand-file members able to direct key business plans and processes. By having everyday members with local knowledge, they are sometimes the best lobby groups equipped to resolve global complications. Traditionally, unions have been focussed on job security, increasing wages, and improving working conditions. Environmental development has not been high on their agenda. The mainstream media often paint unions and environmental lobbyists as diametrically opposed on key issues, but this is far from the case.

Union members are more likely than the general population to support environmental action. One survey found that while 25% of the general population have signed environmental petitions, 32% of union members have. While unions have a duty to protect their members and the broader labour workforce, unions also have a responsibility to protect their members and workers from the negative impacts of climate change.

For example, higher temperatures mean that unions must negotiate for different requirements around dress codes and break periods.

Business benefits too, as environmentally sustainable practices save them money, thus

making them more profitable. Unions also have the potential to advance sustainable development in the emerging green economy and therefore labour and trade unions clearly have a key role to play in making society more eco-friendly.

Political Campaigns As there are no monetary limits on how much parties and candidates can spend in a federal election, there is a considerable race to outspend and to have more materialistic advertisements. Distributing materials across the electorate is an efficient way to promote a candidate’s name, face, and policies with voters.

A survey by Bastion Latitude and Australia Post in August 2018 detailed the importance of these materials, specifically small materials that are left in people’s letterboxes. 57% of respondents stated that they read materials from their letterboxes immediately after getting home, detailing how quickly candidates and parties can grab someone’s attention.

Corflutes are made of hard plastics, and are often the number one item voters see during election campaigns. The Australian Greens think long-term during their campaign preparations, reusing generic corflutes saying: “Vote 1 Greens” or “Protect our Parklands”. While other parties also do this, the Greens also prefer to not mention the name of the electorate they are vying for or any specific slogan or policy with their face. They do this so that they can reuse them if they intend to run again at a future election or in a different area. In a practice often used by long-serving MPs, Independent MP for Clark Andrew Wilkie reuses the same corflutes every year, whereas Independent MP for Indi, Helen Haines’ team repaints her corflutes into new designs and recycles any leftovers. Notice how these MPs aren’t from the major parties? Who’d have thought a political candidate would practice what they preach around environmentalism?!

But given there’s several thousand homes in each electorate, how could these political campaigns be more eco-friendly? The cheapest option is opting for recycled paper, as it produces less carbon emissions and uses less energy and water to create. Another option is using plantable paper that contains seeds (but this can be expensive to use on a large scale).

Additionally, campaign teams should promote litter-free events and fundraisers. This is most critical, as parties often use single-use cutlery for outdoor events and use balloons or confetti to celebrate their success, but these materials are detrimental to the environment as they are most likely to end up in waterways. Candidates could also offset any damage caused by their campaigns by purchasing plants and donating them to local reserves – at the very least this is a great photo opportunity!

Ellie Venning

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An Ode to Adelaide Metro Ruby Nixon I have a friend who complains about her seven-minute bus ride to uni because: “buses are hot and gross and there are never enough seats”.

While I totally get her sentiment (I spent many years of high school crammed into buses with so little space people often got caught in the door as it closed), I often half-heartedly engage in conversations that drag our public transport system because, truthfully, I love Adelaide Metro.

Often the best part of the day is reading a book or listening to music on the bus or train. You either be alone with your thoughts in some kind of semi-meditative state, or, you can enjoy certain experiences that make Adelaide, or humans as a whole, lovable, leaving you feeling optimistic for our society. Note: I have excluded trams as I am not a tram commuter, nor do I feel as passionate about them as I do buses and trains (probably due to the fact I never seem to get a seat).

On the Grange train line, I have seen women smoking on their work break together, sitting on metal chairs in the middle of a car park. I have seen a man sitting on his front porch enjoying his morning coffee, his legs up on the chair in front of him, watching the trains go by. I’ve watched Rainbow Lorikeets zoom by my window keeping up with the speed of the train. On the 157 or the 155 bus, I’ve watched a woman console her friend at the bus stop after she confided in her and an elderly couple play games together on their iPad. People talk to each other on public transport.

People read, listen to music and spend an extra half an hour on their commute home with their friend from school or colleague. Commuters can bring their bikes and their prams with them instead of shoving it into a car. The Adelaide Metro commuter experiences the beautiful sites of this state, whether it be the sparkling River Torrens on a sunny day, the hustle and bustle of the South Road underpass or the baby on the bus that decides your face is interesting enough to stare at.

Adelaide Metro certainly has its flaws, often infrastructure is old or inadequate, everything stops after midnight and no matter how busy it gets, they will never add on an extra carriage, or schedule an extra bus or tram. I used to believe that our public transport system is poor because Adelaide has a small population therefore, the demand is not high enough to justify improvements. However, a wise urban planner once told me that instead the real argument is “if the supply is of quality and increases in amount, people will use it more”. Therefore, do not wait for the demand to rise to increase or improve supply; improve our public transport system now and more people will want to use it.

In saying that, let’s give Adelaide Metro a nudge anyway and get on a bus, tram or train today! It is more cost-effective and better for the environment than private vehicles (but that requires another article), you can spend time on hobbies or socialise with a friend, and no road rage! I think people forget how much of a bonus that is; someone is navigating Adelaide’s terrible drivers for you; enjoy it! Plus, if you are harassed by someone who may or may not be on drugs, you now have a fun story to tell when you get home!

Isn’t it better that the person was on the train with you rather than behind the wheel?

Whether you do or do not immediately purchase a Metrocard after reading this, that is okay. Just know I will be happily blasting my music through my headphones and daydreaming as I watch the beautiful world go by my train window for the low price of $1.20, while you are spending hundreds of dollars on petrol just to be stuck behind a car going 40 km/h in a 60 km/h zone that has had their indicator on for five minutes...

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The Akhapost Conspiracy

Chapter 7

Cons-piracy Unravioli-ed Brought to you by the UofA Writers Club. Contact us!

Email: auwritersclub23@gmail.com Wevsite: https://auwritersclub23. wixsite.com/uoa-writersclub

Missed the previous chapters?

Pick up a copy of the previous mags or find it online @ onditmagazine.com.au

Emily Miller & Lewis Caon If making a plan was hard, making it succeed was even harder. That’s why they skipped the elaborate schemes, the sneaking about, and the sabotage. Instead, they were going in guns blazing.

Literally would be nice. Alas, we aren’t in Kansas anymore, Barry thought as he shovelled a pit inside the cave’s crater. He had noticed the dirt resembled soil found in volcanic landscapes perhaps there might be rare metals he could extract.

And ah-ha! The so-called ‘poisoned rocks’ were revealed by Barry’s shovel and he grinned. Perfect, he now had a countermeasure against Hathor’s golden staff.

Parents of the chosen children sometimes tried to duel for the right of the child’s life, but they always lost because Hathor wielded that staff, crafted from resources beyond those outside his command.

They needed to destroy it and using magic was out of the question - Random said Hathor had made the staff impervious to magical attacks.

Barry grinned again as he collected the extracted metal. Yes, he could easily dismantle it without resorting to magic.

Now, onto the backup plan. *** The moment had arrived, with the second sun low on the horizon. The denizens of Akhane gathered at the foot of Akhapost’s mountain. It was time.

Barry made his way to the front of the crowd and stared up at the platform. Governor Kadani was making his speech again, but Barry’s attention was gripped by Hathor’s gaze. The fury in his eyes was impossible to miss.

Oh, if looks could kill. “... anyone give themselves in the place of the unnamed?” Kadani’s voice rang out.

No one volunteered.

“Bring forth the box!”

Barry waited impatiently as a large box was brought forward. Kadini reached in, announcing the name he pulled out.

“No! You cannot take her from me!” A man screamed as they dragged away his daughter. “She doesn’t deserve this!”

“Will you fight for her, knowing the consequences of your loss?” Hathor demanded.

The man cried out again but said nothing. Rage settled in Barry’s chest. This wasn’t right. “I will!”

Barry called out. “I, Bartholomew, formally demand a duel for the child’s right!”

“Stand down you fool! You do not know what it is you speak of!” Hathor shouted.

“NO! YOU don’t know what you are doing! You are deceiving these people! Making them live in fear for nothing! Meddling with things you do not understand!”

“You’re the one meddling you inept meddler! You had one job!”

“What? Want to tell the people what it was? What you did?” Barry taunted.

Hathor’s face was red now. “We were generous with you Barry and asked for little in return. But if you want to fight so badly, then fight we shall!”

Then Hathor was upon him. A blinding flash of magic appeared before his eyes. Barry barely ducked as the runed staff parted the air around it.

The speed of the confrontation caught him off guard. Practically tripping over his feet, he narrowly avoided a second strike.

Fumbling inside his pocket, Barry retrieved a smoke bomb, the result of simple chemistry. All it needed was a vigorous shake.

But Hathor was quicker. He snatched the device and taunted Barry, “You thought your science would help you, you petulant ingrate? Let’s see how you like it!”

Not knowing precisely what the device did, Hathor hurled it at Barry. Smoke billowed from the small device as it landed between them.

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Barry smiled - it made Hathor just as blind as he was.

Acrid plumes filled the space. Coughing hard, Barry immediately realised how poorly thought out this was. Everyone was blind now. Oops.

Hathor quickly cast a spell that cleared the air. Predicting this, Barry pulled out his second secret-science-weapon - the metal he’d extracted. He threw it across the distance separating him and Hathor.

Hathor laughed as the pathetic thing arced towards him and decided to play a little, allowing the harmless gizmo to come closer before blocking it with his staff. But he watched in horror as the vial shattered upon impact and a metallic liquid began to spread over the staff, the gold seemingly dissolving in his hands.

“No! What have you done?!” He screamed, furious.

“Simple metallurgy, buddy boy. Also, I wouldn’t touch it if I were you; Mercury is toxic AF.” Missing or ignoring the warning, Hathor reached for his staff. Breaking off the untouched part, he turned it into a makeshift knife.

Oh crap! It was time to fight dirty.

Barry swiftly kicked the dust, sending sand flying into Hathor’s eyes. Hathor frantically wiped at his face, screaming. Barry seized the opportunity to throw over a super-glue bomb, keeping Hathor’s hands immobile.

Ha, try casting any form of magic without moving your fingers!

“Do you yield?” Barry asked, panting heavily. The anticipatory hush of the crowd spoke volumes.

“NEVER!” Hathor spoke out defiantly. “We did what was necessary!”

“No. You thought it was necessary and covered it up when you realised you were wrong. You are not heroes. You are cowards. Any last words?”

“You wouldn’t kill me.” Hathor snarled. “It’s not in you.”

Barry raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Yet you wanted me to kill another? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Alas, you are right. I condemn you to the fate you deserve instead.”

The people waited in terrified silence. Their world rocked - their heroes defeated.

“Here they come.”

Echoing footsteps and trembling ground signalled the arrival of, not a monstrous force, but a hundred long-lost children, all grown up.

“Agnistine?! What sorcery is this?” A woman cried out.

Barry shouted over the crowd. “There’s no sorcery! The Agency has been hiding the truth from you for hundreds of years! Akhapost is not a monster to be feared! It is the magic of your realm!

It welcomed the children that your society, by the demands of the Agency, sacrificed to cover up their mistakes!”

“We were allowed to grow up in Akhapost’s Haven, and he helped us explore the gift his presence bestowed upon all of us - magic!” Agnistine added.

“And we were going to destroy you with that monster, just like you both deserve!” Hathor spat at Barry.

“No, it is you that deserves to be destroyed.” Akhapost spoke, appearing behind the grown-up children. With a wave of its hand, Hathor and eleven others were immediately encased in a shimmering, ethereal cocoon that hovered above the ground. The crowd watched as the cocoon slowly dissipated, revealing Hathor and the others, now stripped of their magic.

“A just punishment, for those who perverted the natural ways of magic; who selfishly sought that which was not theirs to receive or control, and have polluted our world with their generations of bitterness and greed.” Akhapost’s voice boomed. He turned to the crowd. “Life in Akhane begins anew, with freedom from your oppression!” *** “Thank you, Barry, for everything,” Random said, tears in his eyes as they stood in the now-empty Agency halls.

“Indeed.” Akhapost’s voice rumbled. “For showing me that not all was lost; that it was time to fight back. In return, I shall break my own laws of magic and help you. I shall send you home, to the day you were taken. We will destroy the technology after you are gone, and while we will never see you again, we will always remember you.”

A portal opened, and Barry stared at it, still a little in shock. He couldn’t believe that after all this time, after all that had happened, that he was finally going home. And no one would even know he had left. He wasn’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse.

“Thank you.” Barry said, then took a deep breath, gave one last smile, and forced himself to step into the unknown.

Or rather, the known. His foot hit the carpeted floor and the familiar beige walls of his apartment surrounded him. Home.

But it felt somewhat foreign to him now, since becoming used to the bright colours and majesty of the halls of Akhane. The magic of that realm had changed him, but he smiled as he thought to himself…

Man did I miss food that doesn’t eat you back. Now, I wonder if the ravioli is still fresh?

In honour of the many hours Sen has spent drawing for the mag this year, we thought we’d provide a taste of the alternative.

Sen’s reply: you really shouldn’t have <3 61

Our Final Hi Folks.

Ahoy there mateys!

I’ll be honest, I’m not ready to say goodbye.

You can accuse me of having abandonment issues all you like… and you’d probably be right!

Land graces the horizon, signalling our voyage is at an end. A safe port and plenty of fine spirits awaits us when we disembark this ship and I can tell you this now, I’m ready to plant my feet solidly in soil and collapse in a bed that doesn’t shift with the waves.

I’m thankful to have been entrusted by the student body to help carry on a legacy ninety-one years in the making. Me? A guy whose prior portfolio was mostly just election prediction articles (with a fairly hit and miss record). Forever, in the long history of On Dit, there will be a brief little mark left by my time as editor. And for having been given that opportunity, I am truly grateful.

On Dit has challenged me. Networking is a necessity of the job, and I’m proud that On Dit has dragged me out of my comfortable little hole (uh, phrasing?). I’ve now met many wonderful people in student politics, and across various clubs, who I wouldn’t have had otherwise, and who I hope to remain in touch with going forward. I’ve also been challenged to write on different topics - the politics of the merger, YouX drama, and StuPol affairs - which I’ve enjoyed expanding my knowledge on. Going from having next to no knowledge on StuPol, to writing a comprehensive overview of this year’s elections, is something I’m particularly proud of.

Through all of this, I could not have asked for a better team by my side. There is so much I will save for private, but all of you have made me feel supported, helped me grow as a person, and just overall been amazing friends. I fricken love you guys.

Eternally grateful,

62

Sebastian

All silliness aside, I’m ready to sleep, relax with friends, and finally give my house the clean it’s been begging for since I started studying at university.

Whilst this year has been an at-times stormy one, we weathered it through and have come out to sunny skies, and enough breeze to sally us forth to our final destination. And this couldn’t have been done without the joint-captaincy of the 2023 On Dit Editor team - my relationship with these three has been shaped and hardened over the year, creating a bond that will span for ages to come.

I hope our year in office has been a safe space and encouraged new writers to publish pieces to the public. I also hope that it has inspired students to consider taking on the Editor role in years to come - after all, this magazine can’t exist without either.

This year is a treasure I will not be burying on an isolated island, instead I will keep it close to my heart. So let’s raise our mugs in one last shout; Cheers!

Kathers

Goodbyes Ah, On Dit. It’s been a year.

Hey folks,

By the time this hits the shelves, I’ll have (please, fucking please) finished my honours thesis. Who would’ve thought that it would be this hard? Despite the struggle, every year I get older, I get a little bit happier. I never thought I’d say that.

I started this year taking my On Dit meetings in a hotel room in post-Christmas Hereford, in a cafe looking out at the streets of Amsterdam, in a small London room shared with two teenagers who managed to sleep through half of my conversation. I came back to one of the most overcommitted years of my life. My first SRC live-tweeting occurred the same day I stepped off the plane.

This magazine has been a labor of love. I don’t know what possessed me to think that being an editor would be a good idea whilst writing my thesis (spoiler: it wasn’t). Yet, I’m here, sitting around, looking at the ten very real and beautiful things we’ve created, and smiling (in a somewhat defeated way, but smiling nonetheless).

I couldn’t have done this without our editorial team. Designing a magazine can be a hair-tearing, eye-leaking type of provocative practice. Each of the other three Editors held my hand, some in a more literal way and some in ways that expressed their quiet affection without ruining their stoic exterior, and for that love I am so grateful.

I hope On Dit continues to thrive. I hope I continue to thrive. Thank you for allowing me to draw pretty pictures and write silly articles amongst all the havoc that was this year (who knew my sanity would be balanced on an Apple Pencil - capitalism really popped off with that).

All the best, and with a lot of love,

I often feel I’ve not done enough with my Editorship, because so much of our time is consumed by admin rather than writing.

But instead of that doom, I’ll focus on what I have done. We covered an FOI, an election tribunal, a merger and every. single. stupol. meeting. I photographed student activists at many a protest. I lived my Horrible Histories dreams with History Corner. And most excitingly, I got our announcement of the merger out before InDaily did. Despite being ill.

And I could not have made On Dit 2023 with a better team. Unfortunately, as I am not great at expressing feelings, I will have to hope they know mine already.

My 2023 has been characterised by a generous use of my Access Plan, a likely unhealthy amount of stress, but an opportunity to sink my teeth into my dream job.

Thankfully, I’m pretty sure I still want it.

I leave you with a decidedly wanky message: read widely, watch carefully, and hope fiercely.

Sienna

Louise 63

Craft corner :

embroider the Van Gogh skeleton

Get into the eerie vibes by embroidering Vincent Van Gogh’s iconic Skull of a Skeleton with Burning Cigarette. He’s got a deep and relatable sadness, and begs the question ‘is smoking still bad if you appear to already be dead?’ For this pattern, we’ll be using the colouring-in sheet kindly provided by the Van Gogh Museum (highly recommend, it will be busy and it doesn’t have a lot of the iconic paintings, but it builds such a comprehensive picture of Van Gogh’s artistic world (here ends my VGM worship).

You will need: - 4 inch/10cm embroidery hoop - Approx. 13cm x 13cm square of cotton fabric (repurposing an old white/cream sheet can be a cheap way to get ahold of fabric) - Embroidery thread (your colour choice is entirely up to you! I recommend one colour for the bones, one for the body of the cigarette, and one for the tip of the cigarette) - Embroidery needle - Scissors - Tracing pen (FriXion erasable pens are my favourite because they disappear when ironed)

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Embroidery skills needed: backstitch, and french knots (YouTube is your friend when learning embroidery stitches)

1. Buy your supplies! I recommend a visit to the near constant sales of Lincraft and Spotlight for DMC brand embroidery threads.

2. Trace the pattern (available at the qr code) onto your piece of fabric. There are plenty of tutorials online for the easiest ways to do this. Use the example image to work out which colours will go where.

3. Ensure your fabric is taught in the embroidery hoop and you’re ready to start stitching!

4. Backstitch your skeleton bones.

5. Backstitch the body of the cigarette.

6. Fill the cigarette tip in with a big french knot.

7. Take the fabric off the hoop and iron the reverse side of the fabric (if you used heat erase pens) and/ or wash your embroidery (if you used a pencil, look up a tutorial for this). Finish your embroidery however you want (YouTube is your friend again…). You can frame it, hot glue a back on the hoop, or gather the excess fabric at the back.

8. Display your bespoke Skull of a Skeleton with Burning Cigarette, and send us a picture if you’ve made your own!

Louise Jackson

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Quiz Answers

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