Why I Fear Tall Men

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sex and sexual dynamics, predatory behaviour

I don’t believe tall people should exist. I will stand by this extreme generalisation until the day I die and the reasons for it are based on insider knowledge straight from this short bitch herself. I had to work really hard to stop myself from growing any bigger so I hope you all can appreciate my dedication to the cause. My detective work has led me to believe that an alarming amount of tall men are pedophiles, or at least, kind-ofpedophiles. But, let me divulge into a completely self-serving, and somewhat narcissistic, inner monologue before I get back to the whole ‘tall pedo’ thing.

I’m not big, but I didn’t think I was that small until I started getting thrown around in a sporadic attempt at amateur acrobatics by those cheeky telephonepole looking bastards (of which I was not informed of before the throwing ensued). I stand at around 5’2”. I didn’t think this was sexy either, because who would see someone with the stature of a 12-year-old boy and think ‘hmmm yes, now that has sex appeal’? The answer is: apparently more people than you would think. An alarming amount of people, men generally, ask me how tall I am and this is outside of the otherworldly context of freaky dating apps where it’s weirdly kosher. I usually just say that I’m terrific at hide and seek, (because I totally am) and ask why it really matters to them?

If anything, tall people are selfish. You’re going to take up that much space, and just simply assume that you deserve to? I’m rather space-conscious myself, but that could also be a woman-thing. In general, men are bigger and take up more space, and they seem to like it that way. Women, however, have this talent where they make themselves as small as possible in hopes of not disturbing anyone with a knee or an elbow, and can sit in this uncomfortable position for a ruthless amount of time (my train takes 24 minutes, I’ve perfected it to an art). I’m not just talking about some manspreading either, outside of that most women still do this everywhere they go. WHY I FEAR MEN

Words by Sienna Sulicich

Now I’m questioning everything… am I performing smallness for the male gaze or is that a symptom of severe anxiety? Hard to say.

My first experience with this ‘tiny-sexy phenomenon’ was when a man online asked me how tall I was, to which I innocently responded, and he replied ‘fuck, that’s hot.’ For research purposes, and not purely because I was egging him on (even though I totally was), I asked why. He said he wanted to carry me around. Carry. Me. Around. Amongst other lewd sexual things that involved my smallness and his supposed bigness (you can only imagine the horrors), his main fetish appeared to be him throwing me around like a dead fish. This was not the only thing that rang alarm bells, the biggest red flag of them all was when he wanted me to call him ‘daddy’. Some would argue that this is some innocent sexual fun between two consenting adults, however, this was not all; he wanted the whole fantasy, with knee socks, a pleated skirt and puppy eyes to match. It felt a bit too pedo-y and so I left it there, ignorantly thinking this was a one-off encounter.

This was evidently not a one-off encounter. I’m not running around saying I’m anything special either, I’m quite normal looking and still I’m being pestered by giants who want me to call them daddy and sit on their unusually large laps. My most recent experience was with a guy I was talking to who, unprovoked, started calling me ‘little girl’ via text. Now I would like to point out that there is a huge difference between a cheeky ‘baby girl’ and the concerning ‘little girl’. This man is 6’4” tall, so I suppose I am little to him, but he was trying hard to be sexy and then hit me with the ‘come here, little girl.’ That is some white van shit. Alas, in the spirit of my plight for the truth, I decided I had to play along with the text. I don’t really want to say all of what happened, but it involved a lot of infantilisation towards me that made me feel violently ill and I quickly hit the block button.

I’m quickly realising that these phenomena are not just tall guys (although this is usually the case), it’s a whole sub-genre of men who think it’s hot when I fuck up my ABC’s. I suddenly can’t trust anyone, anyone with an interest in me who is over 6’0” is immediately suspicious. Is this a win for short kings? Maybe, but it’s purely circumstantial, for my own safety and peace of mind. I cannot wrap my tiny, smooth brain around any of it. I’m of age (get out of jail free card, it seems) and here I am being asked to act like a child for the fucked up sexual release of unnecessarily and frightfully tall men. Multiple. Plural. I’ve only described two instances of this, I could go on forever though it’s more of the same thing.

I would like to add that having kinks is all well and good; if you ain’t hurting anyone then go right ahead and play with those little piggies or whatever weird shit you’re into. Don’t bring kids into it. Simple task. And don’t hit me with the ‘no I don’t like kids, I just like you being all small and tiny and breakable and dependent on me and incompetent and in nappies and unable to tie your own shoelaces’ (I can read your mind, you sicko). I think the big fuckers just love that I would fit into a small suitcase if need be. It’s a spiral. Maybe I’m over-paranoid, but I can’t look at tall guys the same (and now, neither can you, you’re welcome).