Senior Lifestyles
Addison Independent June 12, 2017
PAGE 20 — Senior
Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017
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Senior Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017 — PAGE 21
Kindness rocks span the ages with messages of hope and love
Senior residents at the Residence at Otter Creek in Middlebury shared kind messages painted on rocks with students at Beeman Elementary last fall. Photo submitted by the Residence at Otter Creek
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By CHRISTY LYNN ADDISON COUNTY — A simple project involving writing kind and motivational messages on brightly painted rocks for strangers to find and seek happiness from started with one person in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and has quickly spread across the world. The Kindness Rocks Project popped up last fall in Addison County, introduced by Robin Shalline, a third-grade teacher at New Haven’s Beeman Elementary School. “Our Shalline had been on residents sat vacation in Cape Cod with students, when she stumbled a mound of discussed the across brightly colored rocks (Kindness and other seashore treasures in a small pile Rocks) on the beach. Upon project, closer inspection she shared a realized that the rocks snack and had messages and inspirational words just talked written on them. about life.” “Go after dreams, — Courtney not people,” said one. Allenson “Create Peace” was written on another. “Be silly” and “Live life fully” read others. There were some blank ones too, with permanent markers ready for new messages to be left by those who discovered the treasure. Shalline immediately knew she needed to bring the concept back to her classroom. From an explanation on a piece of driftwood among the rocks, Shalline gleaned that the rocks were meant to inspire random acts of (See Kindness rocks, Page 22)
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PAGE 22 — Senior
Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017
Kindness rocks (Continued from Page 21) kindness and spread optimism and joy. “You were invited to take a rock with a message you needed and leave one, if you could,” she recalled. The project was started by a woman named Megan Murphey, of Sandy Neck, Cape Cod, and was called The Kindness Rocks Project. Upon her return to Vermont, Shalline shared the concept with her co-teacher and students and began discussing how they could bring the project to Beeman. The third-grade class decided to present The Kindness Rocks Project to their fellow students at Beeman during one of the school-wide assemblies. Back in the classrooms, the students worked to create more than 100 rocks with messages suggested by Shalline and the other teachers, as well as some they came up with themselves. In attendance at that assembly was Courtney Allenson, parent of a third-grader, as well as the Resident Engagement Director at the Residence at Otter Creek in Middlebury. Immediately, Allenson was inspired to bring it to her workplace. “I thought it would be a great way to provide some intergenerational programming for our residents, so I brought it to our Thursday morning art group,” Allenson said. She had provided some suggested words and phrases to get the project rolling, but said the residents quickly became inspired to create their own words of encouragement, specifically with these local children in mind. “Courage,” “Joy,” “Enjoy life,” “You are enough,” “You matter,” “Be yourself” and “Believe in all you do” were some of these messages. “It was so fun to watch them come up with
Third-graders at Beeman Elementary shared a project designed to inspire hope and spread kindness with elders from the Residence at Otter Creek. The messages and the collaboration left both groups feeling upbeat, hopeful and with a stronger connection to the community around them. Photo submitted by the Residence at Otter Creek
these phrases and then add them to the rocks,” Allenson said. “It definitely made everyone in the group smile and the chit chat about encouraging children and how special children are … It was endearing to listen to.”
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Then, on a day late last fall, Allenson others to be kind. The purpose of this project and Shalline arranged for a group from the is to encourage and inspire others, and that’s Residence to deliver their kindness rocks to something that spans all ages.” the students at Beeman, so they could share So far, there has just been the one gathering their messages with one another. between the elders at the Residence at Otter “Our residents sat with students, discussed Creek and Beeman students having to do with the project, shared a snack and just talked these rocks, but it has inspired a relationship about life,” Allenson recalled. between the two groups and both continue The rocks were all added to the pile that had to look for ways to collaborate and share been formed around a large, old cottonwood experiences. tree on the school property. Students at About a month ago, the Residence hosted Beeman know that they are always welcome Shalline’s third-grade class for to visit the pile and are encouraged a Cinco de Mayo celebration. to take a rock when they are feeling “Everybody Students offered a presentation down and may need a kind word. about Mexico to the residents, needs hope. OLDER AND YOUNGER played games and joined for lunch Everybody TOGETHER at the taco bar. Allenson and Shalline agreed that wants others This month, on the longest day the shared experience was valuable to be kind. of the year (June 21), the Residence for both the residents as well as the is hosting their first “reflectionsThe purpose students at Beeman. only” (memory care) art show, in “One resident who went was a of this which some of the kindness rocks kindergarten teacher and she was project is to will be displayed along with a giant so happy to be back at school,” encourage poster of the inspirational words Allenson said. “All three residents written by the residents involved in who went were thrilled and couldn’t and inspire this project. stop smiling! The kids were excited others, As for the rocks, Shalline says to have visitors and it was such a and that’s while most stay around Beeman’s positive experience.” cottonwood, they did make an something When Shalline first encountered appearance at Town Hall for The Kindness Rocks Project, it that spans all Election Day and some were even was just before the 2016 election, ages.” sent to Harwood Union High School in which Donald Trump would be — Robin Shalline following the tragic car accident named the 45th President of the that killed five teens last fall. United States. Shalline said that They are also passed around she had been looking for a way to inspire the from student to student at Beeman. Allenson children of her school to be deliberate and said her son brought one home recently that generous with kindness in the wake of such said, “Be yourself,” and she recognized it as a divisive political time, to help repair feuds one that an older resident had made during within our community. their Thursday art session. “I kept asking myself, ‘How can we translate Shalline says she hopes the rocks find their a kinder world to our children?’ and this way into more public spaces and inspire others became a great part of that answer,” she said. to perform random acts of kindness and work “Everybody needs hope. Everybody wants to spread inspiration and hope.
ON THE COVER:
Three students from Robin Shalline’s Beeman Elementary class pose with a senior visitor from the Residence at Otter Creek, each with their Kindness Rocks. Photo submitted by the Residence at Otter Creek
Senior Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017 — PAGE 23
When Home is not an option…. ARCH partners with Helen Porter Rehabilitation & Nursing with 3 end of life rooms ARCH partners with Porter Hospital to provide care in The Estuary ARCH partners with Addison County Home Health & Hospice for Palliative Care and the Hospice Team ARCH partners with Hospice Volunteer Services for companioning, bereavement support and music.
www.addisonrespitecarehome.org
Hospice Volunteers... A place to start. The Kindness Rocks Project was started in Cape Cod and was meant to inspire random acts of kindness that would help bridge differences with hope and love. Messages are written on brightly-painted rocks and those who discover them are instructed to “take one when you need one, and leave one when you can.” Photo submitted by the Residence at Otter Creek
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PAGE 24 — Senior
Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017
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Senior Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017 — PAGE 25
Five area organizations provide exceptional end-of-life care By CHRISTY LYNN On a sunny afternoon last week I had the distinct privilege of hosting eight professionals in the conference room at the Addison Independent to talk about dying. Not my own death, necessarily — I am a 32-year-old with no known reason to consider my own imminent demise — rather, to learn more about the process of dying and what kinds of choices and there “Most people considerations are along the way. Not find that exactly your average Wednesday. when you My guests were start thinking invited from five area about death organizations that as real and support individuals and families through the truly are final days (and weeks willing to and months) of life. stare it in the They included Maureen face — that’s Conrad, who is director of development, and when you Director actually start Hospice Marcia Wheeler from living.” Addison County Home — Priscilla Baker, Health and Hospice Hospice Volunteer (ACHHH). From Services Hospice Volunteer Services we were joined by Program Director Priscilla Baker, Program Assistant Laurie Borden and volunteer Dorothea Langevin. Daphne Diego was with us as well; she’s president of Addison Respite Care Home (ARCH). Dr. Diana Barnard also joined the conversation as a palliative care physician who works with both UVM Health Network’s Porter Medical Center as well
as ACHHH. Our final guest was Matthew Wollam-Berens, who is the chaplain at Porter Medical Center and Helen Porter Health Care and Rehabilitation. Together, Porter Medical Center, Helen Porter, ACHHH, Hospice Volunteer Services and ARCH provide exceptional end-of-life care to the people of Addison County, helping to make the final phase in life comfortable and as full of love and care as all the other phases. And while many of us may have heard the praises sung for these local professionals in the pages of the obituaries or from friends or contacts who have used their services, still a good many of us probably wouldn’t be able to paint a very clear picture of what exactly
they do. Why? Because death terrifies us. We don’t know what it’s going to look like and can’t tell what it’s going to feel like. We are scared of the scar it will leave with our loved ones and never feel like we’ve done enough living to be ready for dying. With modern medicine such as antibiotics, technical innovations and chemical treatments, we have moved away from the acceptance of death as a normal part of the life cycle, says Wheeler. “We’re working so hard to keep people alive that we forget that it’s OK and reasonable to choose death,” she said. Barnard agrees, saying that too often
medical professionals are encouraged to pursue every avenue to keep patients alive and steer them through lengthy, painful and excessive treatments, sometimes despite a terminal prognosis. Unfortunately, many make the mistake of seeing death as a failure to meet their expectations, when in fact sometimes it can be the best course of care for that person. “There is a cost to trying for too long to keep someone alive,” Barnard said. “What we do in palliative care is assess the benefit versus the burden of care and help the patient and their families navigate quality of life considerations and treatment options.” That’s when the guided conversations about death are most critical. Faced with these epically heavy choices, it is clear why you would need a carefully trained and thoughtful team of people helping along the way. Langevin joined the team of more than 100 volunteers at Hospice Volunteer Services following the early death of her husband last year. While she had known little about the end-of-life services prior to the detection of her husband’s aggressive cancer, she had been inspired by the grace and support of the health network throughout his four-year battle and especially by the hospice team that ultimately helped them through the final phase. So what does that final phase look like? Well, the short answer is it’s different for everyone. “Just the same as every birth being different, every death looks a little different,” Wheeler said. But the process — one that Wheeler argues is both philosophical and programmatic — is one of careful attention to the wishes of the patient so that they can die in relative comfort, peace and with a calm mind. (See Conversations, Page 27)
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Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017
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Senior Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017 — PAGE 27
Conversations (Continued from Page 25) “Dying doesn’t have to be a terrible, horrific event,” she said. “We want people to know that whatever goals they or their family have can be met.” Doctors, nurses, social workers, volunteers, chaplains and other religious and community leaders all work collaboratively at each of these local institutions, doing the legwork on behalf of individuals and families nearing the end of life. They help individuals consider the things that matter most, like those covered in a book by palliative care leader Ira Byock called The Four Things That Matter Most. Byock says that four simple phrases — “Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you” and “I love you” — carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives, preparing us to say goodbye. TALKING ABOUT DEATH The conversations about death, however, can never start too early, says Borden. In fact, there is a collective effort among these five local organizations to inspire a broader and more commonplace conversation about death and dying. “It’s called Advanced Care Planning,” Borden said, “and it’s never too early to start becoming familiar with the language, options and considerations for what’s most important to you about life.” Advance directives (sometimes called living wills) are formally considered legal documents that specify the course of action that should be taken in the event of a life-altering scenario that renders it impossible for a person to speak or act on their own behalf. According to Barnard, it’s an important tool not just for thinking
Independent organizations and volunteers make a difference Five independent organizations provide end-of-life services in Addison County, hosting an unusually large number of providers and volunteers in the area and resulting in an exceptionally strong support system in which every person should have access to supportive care at the end of their life. While the over-arching goals of extraordinary hospice and end-of-life care may be shared by each, they do each focus on different aspects of this care. about specific choices, but for considering what values in life you consider most crucial to be happy. According to Conrad, an advance health directive is one of the greatest gifts parents can give to their children. “If you have spent the time to really think and consider what’s important to you and have identified a course of action that you’re comfortable with, then the end of life can be more simply about spending that time living your last days,” she said. Barnard agrees, saying that leaving some of these tough conversations until critical moments can cause stress, anxiety and emotional reactions to challenging news. Baker chimed in, “The secret, however, is that most people find that when you start
thinking about death as real and truly are willing to stare it in the face — that’s when you actually start living.” The group hopes to inspire these conversations through a series of public workshops, film screenings, published information (hint: keep your eye on the pages of the Addison Independent for details) and they are striving for a generally open-door policy for anyone wishing to learn more about end-of-life options and hospice care in Addison County. They will continue to work independently as well as collaboratively to support and provide care services to individuals and help as family members open themselves to having these tough, but loving, conversations about how to live each day to its fullest.
ADDISON COUNTY HOME HEALTH AND HOSPICE (ACHHH) ACHHH is a nonprofit agency with a mission to “enhance the health, dignity and independence of Addison County residents through comprehensive, patientcentered home health and hospice care.” Since 1968, ACHHH has worked directly with patients, families and other community providers to address the range of philosophical as well as programmatic services while upholding a high standard of care and respect for their patients. ACHHH provides home care services that include skilled nursing, rehabilitation services, and medical social work, as well (See Organizations, Page 28)
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PAGE 28 — Senior
Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017
Organizations (Continued from Page 27) as ancillary support services that promote healing, quality of life and independence. Their hospice and palliative care program has access to the full range of home care services in addition to an interdisciplinary-based clinical approach to end of life care. To learn more about Addison County Home Health and Hospice, visit achhh.org. HOSPICE VOLUNTEER SERVICES Hospice Volunteer Services is a not-for-profit agency committed to offering care and support to those in Addison County facing the end of life or grieving the death of a loved one. Their mission includes educating the community on dying, death, and bereavement by offering free programs and services to terminally ill patients and their families, all provided by a group of well-trained volunteers. HVS volunteers organize hospice and palliative patient care, arrange for the Wellspring singers to perform for terminally ill patients in their homes or care facilities, offer bereavement support and peer grief groups, arrange for mealtime gatherings, and offer public education and resources through a free library open to the public. HVS operates at no charge to patients and therefore is a community resource available for any resident facing the end of life. To learn more about Hospice Volunteer Services, visit hospicevs.org. THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT HEALTH NETWORK - PORTER MEDICAL CENTER Since 1925, Porter Medical Center has been providing high-quality health care to the residents Addison County Vermont and surrounding areas. Over the years, Porter has maintained a sharp focus on the community and keeping people healthy through primary care, information, and education. Porter Medical Center offers advanced technology and high quality, compassionate care provided by top-notch professionals and physicians. To learn more about the University of Vermont Health Network – Porter Medical Center, visit portermedical.org.
THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT HEALTH NETWORK - HELEN PORTER Helen Porter Rehabilitation & Nursing is an attractive, secure residence where elders are assured of skilled nursing care and assistance with daily living. Helen Porter has accommodations for 105 people and prides itself for being a facility where privacy is honored and individuality respected. Helen Porter is a skilled and intermediate care residence which specializes in providing a home-like environment including a Memory Care Neighborhood, a Long Term Nursing Care Neighborhood, a Post Acute/Rehabilitation Neighborhood, Respite Care Services, as well as hospice and end of life care. To learn more about Helen Porter, visit portermedical.org/helen_porter. ADDISON RESPITE CARE HOME (ARCH) Addison Respite Care Home (ARCH) is a non-profit which has established end-of-life care rooms within the Helen Porter complex and Porter Medical Center. There are currently four ARCH rooms between Helen Porter and Porter Medical Center, each one dedicated to individuals seeking end-of-life care who are unable to complete their lives at home. The three rooms at Helen Porter include a hospital bed, an over sized pullout sleep chair, a television, Wifi, a music system, custom furniture crafted by local artists, hand made bed quilts, and a private bathroom. A fourth room, the ARCH Estuary, opened in April 2015 in Porter Hospital. The ARCH Estuary is a large private room with adjoining family room. The rooms are only part of the overall delivery of hospice care: a program of palliative and supportive care services providing psychological, social and spiritual care for dying persons, their families, and loved ones. The delivery of care to the residents is administered by trained professionals from Helen Porter; Porter Hospital, Addison County Home Health and Hospice, Hospice Volunteer Services, and primary care providers. To learn more about ARCH, visit addisonrespitecarehome.org.
Make travel a key component of your retirement (MS) — When the time comes to bid farewell to conference calls, meetings and daily commutes, retirees have open schedules to fill with whichever activities they choose. Travel is one exciting way to pass the time. Traveling can be a rewarding prospect for active seniors, particularly those who
successfully preplanned for retirement and have the income to fund various excursions. Many seniors find that travel tops their todo lists once they retire. According to Senior Travel magazine, new travel options are emerging for newly minted retirees looking for (See Travel, Page 29)
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Senior Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017 — PAGE 29
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About a dozen seniors at the Residence at Otter Creek engaged in decorating the Kindness Rocks during an art session at the center. Engagement Director Courtney Allenson says, “It definitely made everyone in the group smile and chit chat about encouraging children and how special children are.”
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Travel (Continued from Page 28) something a little different from the status quo. The list of destinations retirees have at their disposal is limitless. The following ideas are some of the more popular ways retirees choose to travel. ROAD TRIPS RULE Taking to the highways and byways is an excellent way to see the country. Seniors can customize their routes depending on which places they want to visit. RV travel can be as comfortable or as rustic as travelers prefer. Many seniors spend months traveling in their campers, which offer many of the same amenities of home. Campsites and special RV hook-up sites offer the other necessities of traveling the open road. GENEALOGICAL TOURISM IS POPULAR People hoping to trace their ancestry and visit their ancestral homelands are one of the fastestgrowing travel segments. Visiting an old church in Europe where ancestors were married or buying food from a market in which a great aunt or uncle once worked leads retirees on many international adventures. Such trips provide travelers with a unique opportunity to understand their roots up close and personal while enjoying some international travel along the way. EXOTIC TOURS CAN BE EXCITING DESTINATIONS History buffs or adventure-seeking couples
may be particularly attracted to exotic travel destinations that are slightly off of the beaten path. Travel tours may take vacationers to destinations such as excavation sites or backpacking through the rainforest. With passport in hand, seniors can go just about anywhere their desires take them. ENJOY A RELAXING SEASIDE TRIP A seaside vacation can be the perfect trip for seniors who want to put their feet up and sip some cocktails while watching the waves lap the shores. Many beach resorts offer allinclusive packages for different age groups. Meals, excursions and hotel rooms can be bundled into one affordable, confusion-free price. GO CRUISING Speaking of all-inclusive vacationing, cruising seems tailor-made for those ages 50 and older because it offers the convenience of accommodations, food, entertainment, and transportation all in one. The various activities offered on the ship mean travelers can find ways to spend their time how they see fit. Cruising couples can opt to spend all of their time on the ship enjoying carefully prepared meals and entertainment or disembark and explore the various ports of call along the way. Now that they have more free time, retirees can gear up for travel adventures to remember.
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PAGE 30 — Senior
Lifestyles • Addison Independent, Monday, June 12, 2017