Addison County Independent March 29, 2018
Wedding Planning
Let’s do this!
inside
Two local couples describe their planning process
Help plan with these wedding tricks............................ 5 Eloping: Our wedding, our way....................................... 9 Inviting singles to your wedding?............................... 10 Don’t be blindsided by your wedding costs.......... 11 Photo: Garren Poirier, Garrentee Photography
By CHRISTY LYNN For some, the perfect vision of their wedding has been forming in their heads for years, becoming more and more refined as the relationship and circumstances become settled, so when the time comes to put the plan in place there aren’t a whole lot of decisions left to be made. But for many, very little forethought has gone into planning for an actual event until after the engagement — when reality strikes. From there, it tends to be a practice of putting an idea on the table and working through the details of what it would take to make it actually happen. I recall early in the process of planning our wedding ceremony my partner and I hatched the brilliant idea of finding an overgrown field planted with some tall crop that would reach over the tops of our heads. We would direct all guests to show up at the site and there would be a single path weaving in a labyrinth pattern until it led to a central area that would be mowed in the center (See Planning, Page 3)
PAGE 2 — Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018
Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018 — PAGE 3
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Planning (Continued from Page 1) of the field. Of course, reality hit when we started to think about finding such a location and the cost of renting that land and/or compensating the landowner for the lost crop rotation. Then there were questions about bathrooms, seating, accessibility, allergies and all kinds of other considerations that wiped this beautiful vision straight off the table. Likewise, for two local couples planning their weddings in 2018 the process has been about identifying the elements that are most important to them and making choices and compromises that keep them within their budgets and within a reasonable scope. VENUE Eliza Murawski grew up in Shoreham and Cornwall and always envisioned getting married on her parents’ property by their small pond. She and her fiancé Andrew McAvoy now live outside Barre in Graniteville and will finally have the opportunity to return to Addison County and make that dream come true this coming Aug. 18. “Originally we wanted to have the ceremony and the reception all on the same property,” Eliza says, “but when we started pricing it all out we decided that shifting locations for the reception was going to make a lot more sense for budget reasons as well as logistically. It will simplify the details and allow my parents to relax more and enjoy the day.” The couple chose the Middlebury Inn as their reception venue, which offers
JEFF MURAWSKI AND ABBEY Pope live in a beautiful farmhouse along Route 30 in Cornwall. Pope is an impeccable gardener and their landscaping leading down to a small pond behind the house offers a perfect backdrop for a wedding. That’s why it was an easy choice for their daughter, Eliza, when she and her partner were engaged this past December.
photo submitted by Eliza Murawski
all-inclusive packages that simplify the planning process while still offering guests an elegant and memorable experience. “Having the reception downtown also offers the benefit of being walkable to other hotels and inns where our guests may be staying as well as afterparty locations for any guests who might want to continue the party after the Middlebury Inn’s curfew,” Eliza says. “We like the idea that any drinking will be downtown so we don’t have to worry
about the liability of people getting into cars from my parent’s house and driving to wherever they’re staying or providing transportation,” she added. Margaret Kennedy and Dylan Teer met as teenagers at Vergennes Union High School and have been together ever since. Last April while hanging out at Bristol Falls, Dylan proposed and the couple started slowly laying out plans for their wedding. They selected June 9, 2018, for their wedding, which will mark the 11th
anniversary of their first date. Attracted to the natural beauty of the lakeside location and the all-in-one convenience, the couple chose the Grand Isle Lake House for their wedding venue. The classic inn features 13 guest rooms that Margaret and Dylan figure will be filled with members of their wedding party and family. They will host a rehearsal dinner, the ceremony and the reception all on the same site, offering convenience and simplicity to a couple (See Choices, Page 6)
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PAGE 4 — Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018
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Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018 — PAGE 5
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Help plan with these wedding tricks (MS) — Ensuring an event goes on with minimal hiccups takes patience and thorough planning. This is especially true for weddings, when many elements must merge together for a memorable day. Today’s couples have a bevy of new resources at their disposal to facilitate wedding planning. The internet makes vetting vendors and reading reviews that much easier, but wedding-related apps also can simplify wedding planning. The following are some top picks as culled by Wedding Shoppe, Inc., The Knot and Lifehacker. • Wedding Spot: Couples can search for their ideal wedding venue based on location, budget, styles, and capacity. The website enables users to plan their ideal weddings and get cost estimates based on guest list and options. Users also can access discounts and exclusive deals. • Wedding LookBook: This app enables couples to browse through thousands of
dresses, accessories, jewelry, and much more. The app will help customers find products in their area. • Shutterfly: This photo, invitation and image-sharing tool can be an inexpensive place to create save-the-date stationery, invitations, and photo memory books. • Appy Couple: This app and website helps couples manage their budgets, timelines, wedding parties, and seating charts, while also allowing them to share photos. There is a free version and basic packages that allow access to more features. • iWedding Deluxe: In addition to managing timelines, to-do lists and vendors, this app offers inspiration for gowns, manages and tracks gifts, and offers first dance suggestions from iTunes. However, it is only available to iPhone users. • AllSeated: This tool can help couples figure out seating arrangements by
creating 3D floor plans of the event, and couples can pull contacts from email and social networks to establish a guest list. If floor plans are unavailable in their database, they can be drawn. • The Knot’s Marketplace: With the click of a button, couples can search for wedding vendors in all different categories, read reviews, and directly connect with those businesses. • HitchSwitch: Brides or grooms who may be changing their names can do so in one convenient place. Three different packages cater to various namechanging needs. • Vistaprint: These stationery specialists offer an array of services, from cards to invitations to personalized
envelopes. Once a design is chosen, Vistaprint will offer add-on suggestions for coordinating items, helping to create a cohesive look for the festivities.
PAGE 6 — Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018
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Choices (Continued from Page 3) not overly excited about fussing over a million little details. WEDDING PARTY In lieu of a traditional wedding party made up of bridesmaids and groomsmen, Eliza and Andrew have decided that they will walk down the aisle together, following a small procession made up of their immediate family members. They borrowed this idea from another wedding they had attended; Eliza said as soon as she saw it she knew that she would do the same if she were ever to get married herself. They will be married by a cousin of Eliza’s, Charlie Vaczy, who Eliza said “has always felt more like a big brother to me.” When Eliza approached Charlie to let him know she wanted him to have a special role in their wedding it was he who suggested he be their officiant. He obtained a certificate to perform the marriage for this single purpose. Margaret and Dylan, on the other hand, will each have five of their closest family members and friends with them at the altar as bridesmaids and groomsmen. Margaret will be escorted down the aisle by both her mother and her father and will meet Dylan as well as their close friend and officiant Eric Montgomery at the altar. Montgomery had already been ordained, so Margaret and Dylan said he was a clear pick for the person to marry them. CEREMONY For many couples, the ceremony itself may be the call that brings all the wedding guests together from near and far, but it’s the
piece that is the hardest to plan and often gets cast aside in the planning process or left to the very end. For Eliza and Andrew, their vision for the ceremony is slowly coming together, but Eliza admits that it’s something they need to spend some more time planning out. She and Andrew will write and deliver their own vows, but neither has started the vow-writing process yet. Eliza says it’s the thing that is most intimidating to her in the whole planning process. “I’m honestly terrified about writing my vows. I’m not always very eloquent and I know I’ll be a nervous wreck. I’m just afraid of not being able to put into words what exactly I want to say,” she says. Without a religious or spiritual template guiding their ceremony, Eliza and Andrew plan to somehow incorporate members of their family and close friends in a ceremony that communicates the lofty promises the two make with their union as well as keep it true to who they are. They will have cello music played by Carol Fenn, a long time co-worker of Eliza’s dad, Jeff Murawski; they may ask family members to offer short readings or poems that help highlight the significant occasion. Eliza’s mother, Abbey Pope, and Abbey’s sisters practice Indian dance together and are considering a dance during the ceremony too. Eliza says she would really like each member of their families to feel like they are personally invited to contribute to the wedding, so they will be spending a lot of their time connecting with each person and figuring out what role they can play. One cousin is a carpenter and he and
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ELIZA MURAWSKI AND ANDREW McAvoy are planning their nuptials for this coming August at Eliza’s childhood home in Cornwall. Here they offer a toast to the wedding planning process with a pair of glasses that Eliza’s grandmother gave them. “The thought is that we’ll use them at our wedding and then pass them along to the next couple in the family who gets married,” Eliza said.
another aunt who has a gift for design may collaborate on an arbor. Eliza’s sister, Annie, has been in several weddings, so will be able to offer lots of advice and assistance with the details of it all coming together. Conveniently, her mother is an excellent gardener and landscaper, so she plans to plant all of the flowers for the wedding right on site and no doubt the grounds will be in top condition for the big day. However it shapes up, Eliza and Andrew are excited to design a ceremony that will help them and their guests really honor the occasion and make it feel extra personal. As two shy people who aren’t interested
in being in the limelight for much longer than they need to be, Margaret and Dylan are taking a slightly different approach. “We want a simple, nondenominational ceremony,” Margaret said. “We’re going to exchange vows, exchange rings and head to the party!” They will be writing their own vows, but Margaret says neither has started yet and in a moment of honesty added, “We probably won’t until the day before.” Like Eliza, one of the things that most intimidates Margaret is the thought of crying during her vows, making it difficult for her guests to understand her when she declares those crucial words. (See Venue, Page 7)
Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018 — PAGE 7
Wedding Venue (Continued from Page 6) AFTER PARTY Following their ceremony and formal photos at the Pope-Murawski residence, the wedding party will shift to the Middlebury Inn, where Eliza and Andrew expect many of their out-of-town guests will choose to stay. A huge part of the appeal in the allinclusive wedding packages offered by the Middlebury Inn was the relative few choices they had to make. “We’re going to do a tasting so we can choose our menu and we get to work with Otter Creek Bakery on specific cupcakes we want, but otherwise they pretty much have everything else taken care of,” Eliza said. For music, Eliza and Andrew plan to have a date with their family when they’ll create a playlist for the evening. “We think it’ll be fun to choose our own songs and be able to transition from musical genres and
Planning
Middle School. With a careful regard for the enjoyment of their guests, as well as a love for local themes as the night goes on,” she said. food and drink themselves, one of the The party may break for a few toasts things that most appealed to Margaret and given by close family members and the one Dylan about the Grand Isle Lake House piece that Eliza and Andrew are sure of is was the local and seasonal menu they offer. that they would like to take the The chef will be curating a special time to introduce at least menu and the bar staff will all of the members of have a wide selection of their respective famigreat local beers as well. “We really want to lies to one another. “The quality of the see our guests out “There will be a food and drinks were number of people really important to us on the dance floor, there from our especially after they’ve because if they aren’t extended famigood, your guests had a few drinks.” lies who have not aren’t going to be — Margaret Kennedy happy and won’t have yet met and we feel strongly that this is a a good time,” Margaret blending of the two famisaid. lies and we would like to take To add to the festivities, advantage of the opportunity to introduce Margaret and Dylan plan to hire a DJ and everyone,” Eliza said. This idea came from have a great dance party. her father, Jeff Murawski, a long time “We really want to see our guests out guidance counselor at Middlebury Union on the dance floor, especially after they’ve
had a few drinks,” she said. As for toasts, Margaret and Dylan have asked their Maid of Honor and Best Man to plan toasts, but they have yet to decide if they are going to open the mic for other speeches or keep them short to allow for more dancing. ALL THE PESKY DETAILS Many of the details are still coming together for Eliza and Andrew, but fortunately most of the critical elements are in place. Fortunately, picking the dress was easier than Eliza had ever imagined. “I went to David’s Bridal in Burlington and was planning on it just being a first attempt at getting an idea of what I was looking for. But the second dress I tried on was it. I just knew it was the one.” Andrew’s outfit is picked out too, which the couple did together so Eliza could make sure she was OK with the color choices. He’ll be wearing a custom vest and matching pants, but given the mid-summer heat (See Details, Page 8)
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PAGE 8 — Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018
Wedding Planning Details
to have cookie cutters made that are shaped (Continued from Page 7) like their faces. They’re planning to decohas opted out of the jacket. Eliza’s parents, Jeff and Abbey, have rate the cookies to look like themselves as been crucial in the planning effort, nailing party favors for their guests. The photographer they’ve hired is down many of the details like the tent and helping to coordinate invitations and save- Chris Ingram of Featherwind Creative of Middlebury. He photographed a the-date notices. “Andrew and I are pretty…laid back…so friend’s wedding last fall and came highly it’s great to have some help checking some recommended. Margaret was also lucky enough to find of the details off the list,” Eliza says. “I’ve already had some overwhelmed moments her dress relatively quickly at Fashion and we’re not that far into it, so it’s great Corner in Port Henry, N.Y., just before the to know that we don’t have to do all of this shop went out of business. While she said ourselves and that I have family that I can the whole process was a little bit stressful for her, she came out with a beautiful lean on for support.” dress that will With the surprise her experience of groom on June having been in 9. the wedding Help is easy parties of many to find for close friends, many brides sister Annie and grooms, has also been and Margaret a huge support and Dylan person for have certainly Eliza. Annie found that to recommended be true. Both of Zola.com for a their mothers wedding regishave stepped try site, which up to help and Eliza says has fortunately been a really M a rg a r e t ’s easy and great maid of honor, tool so far. Melissa Strong, The couple is a highly does plan MARGARET KENNEDY AND Dylan Teer cele- o r g a n i z e d to exchange their engagement at Button Bay with close person who has wedding rings brated friends, family and headdresses. They are planning during the cere- their wedding at the Grand Isle Lake House in June. been offering photo submitted by Margaret Kennedy helpful nudges mony, but they haven’t quite settled on a jeweler yet, or as well as pieces of advice and encouragewhat style they will choose. Eliza says she ment along the way. The process of planning a wedding is hoping that the jeweler who made her parents’ wedding rings is still in business ceremony can be overwhelming and details that you never knew needed planning seem and may be able to do theirs too. For a couple not terribly excited by the to crop up just when you feel like you have planning process, Margaret and Dylan a handle on things. For both of these local have most of their ducks in a row for the couples, staying relaxed and accepting help from others seems to be a successful big day. Thanks to the naturally beautiful setting strategy as they work out all of the deciat the Grand Isle Lake House, Margaret and sions to be made before the wedding day. And for both, the most important objecDylan aren’t planning to need too many more decorations to add to the mood. They tive seems to be the part that is nearly guarare getting flowers from Anne Matthews at anteed — to share a huge life milestone Flower Power VT in Ferrisburgh and can with all of their closest family and friends, fortunately repurpose some decorations have lots of fun, and create lasting memoused by Dylan’s sister at her wedding. For ries on this special day. a fun and unique detail, the couple is going
Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018 — PAGE 9
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Eloping: Our wedding, our way something else altogether. With so many By ALEXIS CASWELL Eloping seems like such a romantic idea. guests wanting to come to our untraditional Run away to an exotic place or location, or nuptials, more traditions started to become just city hall, and get married without all necessities. We decided that moving the location the ceremony. We wanted simple. My fiancé and I had to Central Park instead of City Hall made been together all through the time I was more sense to accommodate this influx of in graduate school in Italy and he was guests. We decided to create something living and working in his home country of approaching a wedding party, my husband’s England. We were engaged in Paris under Best Man was his childhood friend from the Eiffel Tower. We traveled constantly London, and my best friend flew in from Los Angeles to be my and when it came time Maid of Honor. for us to actually plan “I realized I, the anti-planner, our special day, I didn’t also discovered why want to plan. “eloping” for us people do plan so far I wanted us to run really meant that in advance for these away alone to the we wanted to do events: because things marriage bureau in New will go wrong. York City (an idea not our wedding in My expensive inspired by a plot of a our way.” hairstyle with curls certain chick-flick, I completely fell limp just promise). I would wear something fun and cool in lieu of the tradi- an hour before the wedding. The restaurant where we got our burgtional dress, and I wanted to grab a burger afterwards with my new husband and call ers after the ceremony wouldn’t split our check and caused me to panic, and my it a day. What we ended up with was much differ- “untraditional” dress was ruined by a seament because we then decided to invite our stress one week before we were due to get parents. My mother heard about this plan married, and I was left scrambling to find and wanted to be there, and upon reflection a dress. I found myself wandering a very my fiancé wanted his parents to be there large, traditional wedding dress retailer and as well. So it now became my parents and bought a traditional, strapless, satin dress their spouses, my fiancé’s parents, and us. off the rack. I bought a cathedral-length veil to match. If I had to go traditional, I was Then, the floodgates opened. Ultimately, we had five of my fiancé’s going to be over-the-top as well. I realized “eloping” for us really meant friends from England fly over, my siblings and their significant others, and my that we wanted to do our wedding in our sister’s three children, one of which was a way. We took the opportunity to be critinewborn. Our elopement was turning into cal about what made it feel special for us,
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and what didn’t. We may have succumbed to some traditions but we didn’t blow our budget. Our sizable wedding party did all go out for burgers after our wedding in the park. I didn’t have any flowers, and my fiancé saw my new dress before we got married. We found a gem of an officiant and she instantly calmed me down and included a John Lennon line in our ceremony. These are just things that seemed like us. Eloping in Vermont is interesting because there is no waiting period to get a marriage license in the Green Mountain State, much like Las Vegas (clearly the only thing Vegas and Vermont have in common). And Vermont is a beautiful place to have a destination wedding, which we already know, but what about a destination elopement? At least one common wedding destination in our area is already hip to the idea. Basin Harbor Club in Ferrisburgh has an elopement package often taken advantage of by those couples coming from all over the country to elope here in our beautiful state, as well as by locals. And although they do offer packages for couples running away together to get married, according to Basin Harbor wedding coordinator Anne Henderson, “70 percent of eloping couples have guests come with them, usually up to 20.” Henderson said that couples usually get their marriage license at a local town clerk’s office the day before, and have no waiting period. For those anti-planners like myself, they have a package that covers whatever you could want, plus a meal and a hotel room, but it’s customizable.
ALEXIS AND TOM Caswell were married in June, 2017 in New York City.
Photo by Julie and Roy Caswell
In the end, our wedding felt very “us” — filled with jokes and laughter, and some of the most important people to us, coming together from everywhere to form a new little family. At the end of it all, planning mistakes aside, the day ended with my new husband, Tom, and I eating Chinese food from the local market at 3 a.m. on the terrace of our hotel. Still spontaneous and romantic, but with some traditional wedding elements that worked for us.
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PAGE 10 — Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018
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What’s the etiquette when inviting singles to your wedding? (MS) — Couples tying the knot typically want to share their excitement with as many friends and family members as possible. Preliminary wedding guest lists can be quite extensive, but many couples ultimately shorten such lists in adherence to their budgets. One fuzzy area in regard to guest lists is whether or not to include a “plus one” on the invitation for single friends or family members. A “plus one” refers to single guests’ dates. Party planners may extend the courtesy of giving single guests the choice of whether they would like to bring someone along to the event or attend solo. The rules concerning plus ones are flexible, and ultimately, it may be up to the couple to create their own plus-one rules. The following tips can help couples determine which way to go. LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP One way to set limits on plus ones is to
look at invitees on a case-by-case basis. Think about unmarried guests and the type of relationship status they currently claim. For example, a cousin who has been dating someone for several months can be encouraged to invite this serious boyfriend/ girlfriend. Recently divorced or widowed guests may not feel comfortable bringing a date along, but because this person was in a committed relationship so long, it may be well worth the courtesy to allow these types of guests to bring someone along so they can feel more comfortable. Etiquette experts at The Knot say that,
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whenever possible, all guests should be addressed by name on the invitation. Couples can ask single friends whether they plan to bring a date to the wedding and who their dates might be. N U M B E R OF SINGLE FRIENDS A n o t h e r consideration is how many single people will be invited to the wedding. If it’s a small number, a blanket plusone rule can be established. However, if many guests are single, which tends to happen when young couples are getting married, the cost can be prohibitive. Single friends and family can be seated together so that they can converse and have fun.
FOR THE GUESTS … It’s important for people on the receiving end of a wedding invitation to understand some key plus-one rules as well. • If the invitation does not say “plus one” or “and guest,” that means you have been invited alone. It is rude to bring a guest unexpectedly. • Avoid asking to bring someone to the wedding if you were not originally given the option. • If you were given plus-one status, be sure to respond with your guest’s name. If you can’t confirm who you will be bringing or don’t know if you will have a date for the evening, it is better to come alone. • Don’t use the plus one as a chance to bring a friend only for the free food and drinks. Weddings can be complicated to plan, and negotiating plus ones for single guests is part of that planning.
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Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018 — PAGE 11
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Don’t be blindsided by your wedding costs (MS) — Brides and grooms understandably feel a little stress when planning their weddings. Adding to the pressure is the fact that, according to a WeddingWire.com report, the average couple in their 30s spends $32,000 on their wedding. That is a lot of money riding on one day. But planning a wedding can be even more fun than it is stressful, especially for those couples who employ a few tricks of the wedding planning trade. 1. Fake the cake. Save some money by asking the bakery cake artist to decorate a foam-tiered “mock” cake for pictures and display, and serve guests from an inexpensive sheet cake in the kitchen. 2. Use labels. Once the guest list is finalized, create a database of guests’ addresses. Print out two sets of labels: One for addressing the invitations and the other to address the
thank-you cards. 3. RSVP tricks: Number the back of RSVP cards and correspond the numbers to the guest list. If one or more responses is illegible, refer to the number to figure it out. 4. Embrace inexpensive decor. Dollar stores and craft stores are great places to find inexpensive decorative items. Empty wine bottles can be painted or glazed to serve as vases. Candle lanterns can be picked up at low cost at many retailers. 5. Create an email address. To have all of the wedding-related details in one place, create a separate email address exclusively for wedding correspondence. 6. Use veil weights. These weights can be sewn into veils to prevent fly-aways during outdoor ceremonies or photoshoots. 7. Keep bugs at bay. Spray chair and reception table legs with
insect repellent. Dryer sheets also can be tucked into inconspicuous spots to keep bugs away. 8. Save money on favors. Unless the favor is something to eat or something especially practical, you may consider skipping the favors altogether, as many guests tend to forget to take them home anyway. 9. Use page markers for seating. Use multicolored, self-sticking page markers to create easy seating arrangements. Each color can represent a category: His, Hers, Friends, Work. 10. Make a photo clothesline. A clever and inexpensive idea is to pin photos of the couple to a string, cataloguing how they met and their time together leading up to the wedding. 11. Use loose flower centerpieces. Loose flowers in a vase are easier to sort and transport home for guests who want a memento. Make precut butcher’s
paper or cellophane available to make bouquets. 12. Stock up on string lights. Lights can be wrapped around trees outdoors, strung indoors around windows or draped along buffet tables to create a romantic ambiance. Weddings can be expensive and stressful; therefore, couples can use all the tips they can to corral their expenses and tame their nerves.
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PAGE 12 — Wedding Planning — a special section of the Addison Independent, Thursday, March 29, 2018