THE OLD DUDE’S RULES AS FATHER

By Fred Pringle

EveryJune, we take time out to celebrate Father’s Day. Fathers don’t normally get the bouquets, the extravagant presents, or the grand dinners that mothers do. The men have to make do with ties and power tools if lucky. Now that I am a dad, I have a greater sense of appreciation for Father’s Day gifts! So, let’s shine the spotlight on Father’s Day. Being a father of any culture in America is hard. But I must say being an African American father in America is difficult, challenging, and sometimes dangerous. Contrary to what mainstream media would have you believe, the presence of positive African American fathers as role models in their children’s lives is not extinct. My experience has shown me that many strong men have stepped up to the plate in the role of a Father. These men hold many titles. They can be fathers, brothers, uncles, neighbors, cousins, friends, mentors, coaches, teachers, or just a dude from the block. My father was among one of these strong fathers, in particular, a strong African American father.

My father was Abraham (no middle name) Pringle of Greys Hill, SC. I say he was because my dad went to be with his ancestors in September 2022. Since then, there has hardly been a day where I don’t have my father and son talk with him or think about his impact on my life. My dad shared and taught my sibling and me many valuable lessons.

My father was born in the Great Depression “Old School,” where a father’s primary responsibilities were to protect and provide for his family. While these duties were necessary, my father also realized that a father’s other duties were dictated by what his family needed. He passed these rich lessons on to my brother, sister, and me as he grew and evolved. I call these lessons “the Old Dude’s Rules.” These have been the guidelines that I have used to govern my life, and they have helped me thrive and grow into adulthood and become what I believe to be a good father. What were some of those fatherly lessons my dad taught us?

1. Love Yourself and Chase Your Passions – My father loved bowling and traveling, and he found a way to combine these as he traveled throughout the U.S. by participating in bowling tournaments. When he discovered what we loved, he poured himself into our passions. My brother loved playing baseball, so he took my brother to his traveling league baseball games and camps. I loved to read, so he bought me books and found school programs that challenged me.

2. Help Others When You Can – My father was great at helping others, sometimes to his own detriment (lol). It was nothing for him to move relatives into our home and provide them with a much-needed “loan” when necessary. He never hesitated to invite our friends on family outings or over to eat. He cared so much for the well-being of others.

3. I am Third – In the hierarchy of life, the Creator is first, your family is next, and you are third. While not a big churchgoer, my father believed in God. He tried to live by the Good Book and insisted we do the same.

4. You Can Be Anything You Want To Be – If you are willing to work hard to get there - you can achieve your dream. As children, my father told us that we could be whatever we wanted, and he stood by this when my sister decided that she wanted to become a minister. My father came from a family of Southern Baptist preachers, and they weren’t thrilled with my sister’s decision. However, my father stood up for her, and she eventually won them over, especially after they saw how effective and spirit-filled she was.

5. Children Learn By Example, So Do Your Best To Be One – My father went to work every day. He didn’t smoke or drink, and he rarely cursed. He protected his family when necessary and provided for us daily. As he got older, he not only continued to show us that he loved us but finally managed to be able to tell us. I treasure his words in my heart and ears.

I would not want you to think that my father was perfecthe wasn’t. But he was present! Like many other African American men, before and since, he did the best he could for his family and provided an excellent example for me and many others. Happy Father’s Day!

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