By Warden Purduc
Whatever happened to the adage, “If you have nothing good to say then don‟t say anything at all”; my mother used to strangle me with this whenever I started negatively attacking, with words, someone I disliked. She would say “Be mindful of what you say, or you will regret it later”. Mom understood well the notion that as members of a family, community, nation and the world, we must live with each other and the respect born out of such an act is critical. I thank her for that. About two years ago I became mesmerized by media sound bites from the President„s State of the Union address. I was amazed at what was said and from whom it was coming. The sound bite was of a US Congressman defaming the President of the United States. “You Lie” he shouted as the President addressed the nation causing a momentary stammer in the President‟s message. As I think back, over the last couple of decades it seems as if more and more of this type of behavior creped into our public discourse. I can cite many incidents from all manner of public officials failing to exercise the principle taught to me by mom many years ago. Recently, presidential candidate, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas made some disrespectful comments about the President‟s status as commander in chief of the military and some additional (uncalled for )
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comments about his love of this country. Remarks I found distasteful and had no bearing on the issues before this country (jobs)
Some may ask, hold them accountable how? In both cases accountability would have demanded the offenders to publically apologize and receive an admonishment to stick to the decorum (in the case of In my opinion Governor. Perry the congressman) and to the issues (in Govshould have kept his comments about the ernor Perry‟s case) and refrain from this useissues and refrained from personal attacks less speech. But nothing of the kind was on the President. A respectful, though out done; the offense was exacerbated and beobjection to the President‟s policies would comes a point of contention in future converhave been received, respected and furthered sations. the discussion towards resolving issues gerPublic discourse is becoming increasmane to the problems before the country. Positive comments would have provided the ingly offensive and the offenders are not framework for a discussion versus the result being held accountable. This discourse is tearing our country apart. received; a useless emotional response in an attempt to stir up his political base and to I bring this up to say this… I am garner non-productive media attention. troubled because I was always taught to, at Add to this, Governor Perry „s com- a minimum, respect the President of the ments about the Federal Reserve Chairman, United States, elders, and people in posinoting that if he performed his duties in the tions of authority, your neighbors and the like. I was schooled to address them a cersame manner done in Washington D. C. tain way and in the case of disagreement (printing money) the reasonable people of the great state of Texas would do unspeak- politely, positively express my disagreement, at the proper time and in the proper forum. I able, terrible things to him in the name of patriotism. He would be considered unpatri- was taught to remain civil and in the presotic for doing his job. Governor Perry‟s com- ence of no agreement, agree to disagree, maintaining an amicable tone, mindful not to ments are not comments I would expect to see from a possible head of the most power- offend or defame. Whatever happened to this America? ful nation on earth. There are some who would argue I would expect more from our canthat what is happening is the “nature of the didates aspiring to the “Chief Executive” pobeast” and such discourse is part of the sition of this country. Equally appalling is the process,” its American!” I say to them, failure of others within their circles to hold whose America? This is not the America I them accountable for their actions. was taught to love and am willing to die for
while serving in the military. My view is that we can take an opposing view without being negative, perverse or demeaning. I‟m not saying that every situation should be handled over a cup of tea, but I am suggesting in every serious case refrain from the name calling, negative expressions of our discontent and choose to think about how to handle the situation and use some measure of intelligence to choose our words carefully and mitigate offense as much as possible. Expressing views in any other fashion condones the offensive discourse and by proxy sponsor it. My question to those who practice this is” Why would you want to sponsor something that disrespects the next person and would do harm to your family, friends and neighbors? “ It doesn’t make sense.
At stake is the soul of our country and our ability to function as a free, democratic, civil society. It is impossible in such a divisive climate to form consensus and solve the problems before us. (Hence the July 2011 debt ceiling debacle in Congress which led to the downgrading of our credit rating and the start of a lack of consumer confidence needed to grow this economy) Therefore, unless we do something the America we knew and loved will be gone forever and our future prospect as a leader among the world‟s nations is in jeopardy Honor, respect and accountability is core to regaining the civility lost in our public discourse The community issues before us cannot be resolved without first understanding that we are in a shared community and realize that as members the opinions of others in the community are due respect, no matter how much they differ from ours. As a concerned citizen wanting to move the conversation forward addressing this issue is extremely important. Language, a critical component of this, is important and as such we should take the time to mind what we say, how we say it, and realize the impact the words chosen will have. I say that to make this point. In times like these (depressed economy, limited public resources, and shrinking budgets) collaboration and community synergy depends on our ability to communicate effectively our concerns and create solutions made up of remedies that will solve our collective problems. Successful outcomes of these efforts rest mainly on civility and the acceptance of a premise that looks to mitigate offense and work collectively together to solve issues.
countable when they violate this pledge Pay attention to what is coming into your home Internet, cable TV and other mediums of communication are swamped with examples of people disregarding the “watch what you say” principle rather than observing it. Turn off the TV, or at least if it is on provide guidance on what is said and the implications of it manifestations in the real world. Admonish members of your home when you witness violations of this principle. Reinforce the notion to friends, acquaintances and the like that what you say does matter - Hold people accountable for the words they use in your presence and let them know that negative characterizations are unacceptable. Hold them accountable to the notion that what you say does matter. Remind them you are not going to accept anything in the name of relationship. Treat people with the same respect you would like to receive –Treat others the way you want to be treated and by extension speak to others that way you would like them to speak to you. If you care, you would choose your words carefully. Many today knock President Obama over his choice of words and phrases (sometimes they are too lenient and not forceful) I believe the President, as the example the world views America through is wise to choose his words carefully. Successful negotiations within our communities depend heavily on our ability to discuss issues in the absence of offense, this principle helps ensure offence is mitigated – I would always say how I can‟t negotiate with someone whose values, practices and actions I do not respect. How can I take them seriously, when everything about them says they are not serious? Name calling and negative aspersions about a person is childish and have no place in a serious conversation. To that end, negotiation is founded on the principle that the person you are negotiating with has the apparent authority and maturity to exercise the terms arrived at within the negotiation. Institute measures of decorum in public institutions and enforce its practices when the public is engaged – practice mitigates offense, allows the process/ procedure to work, and weeds out serious inquires versus not serious presentations.
In my opinion, our ability to thrive and prosper as a nation depends on how we manage public discourse. Generations Below are some keys I believe will help us to restore this before us understood this; we seem to have lost it.. The way forprinciple ward is clear. Emphasizing civility and respect in public discourse Demand that candidates running for public office will further civic collaboration and lead to balanced problem solvrefrain from using derogatory statements and ads ing. This will serve the greater good in our community. which attack their opponent and has no bearing on the issues at hand – Just as candidates are signing Try it, you may find you like the results.. pledges not to raise taxes, there should be signed pledges to keep this principle. Discussion about the Warden Purduc is a staff writer for the Facilitator. He can be issues is what is needed. Positions on how to get the reached at wpurduc@mirhez.com economy moving and people back to work are paramount, not whether or not the fed chairman in performing his duty is committing an act of treason. We need to invent a way of holding candidates for public office ac-
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