Behold, the padel player.
Because tennis was too difficult, squash too sweaty, and badminton is for losers. It’s Europe’s fastest-growing sport, because mediocrity spreads fast. The first rule of Fight Club: don’t talk about Fight Club. With padel there’s also one rule: always talk about padel. It’s the perfect sweet spot between being active and sitting on the couch. Who doesn’t love a sport where you can hit the ball in any direction you want, and somehow it still counts. It’s like golf, but for people with less money. Ah yes, the padel player. It’s not really a sport; it’s dressing up as an athlete and just showing up.
10
11
Behold, the padel player.
Because tennis was too difficult, squash too sweaty, and badminton is for losers. It’s Europe’s fastest-growing sport, because mediocrity spreads fast. The first rule of Fight Club: don’t talk about Fight Club. With padel there’s also one rule: always talk about padel. It’s the perfect sweet spot between being active and sitting on the couch. Who doesn’t love a sport where you can hit the ball in any direction you want, and somehow it still counts. It’s like golf, but for people with less money. Ah yes, the padel player. It’s not really a sport; it’s dressing up as an athlete and just showing up.
10
11
Behold, the towel warrior.
Armed with nothing but a towel, claiming his territory. He’s the Columbus of the resort, planting his flag on a plastic throne by the pool. Like an animal, he marks his territory. Honestly, it would be easier if he just peed on it. And yet he’s not even going to use this sunbed. Instead, he spends the entire day at the pool bar, getting drunk, waiting for someone to move his towel, so he can make a scene. Ah yes, the towel warrior. Don’t call him a loser. Even he knows he is.
18
19
Behold, the towel warrior.
Armed with nothing but a towel, claiming his territory. He’s the Columbus of the resort, planting his flag on a plastic throne by the pool. Like an animal, he marks his territory. Honestly, it would be easier if he just peed on it. And yet he’s not even going to use this sunbed. Instead, he spends the entire day at the pool bar, getting drunk, waiting for someone to move his towel, so he can make a scene. Ah yes, the towel warrior. Don’t call him a loser. Even he knows he is.
18
19
Behold, the gym couple.
They call it a lifestyle. We call it a full-time performance. He’s like a pickup truck in the city, built for heavy lifting but used purely for attention. She’s like a green smoothie: looks healthy, tastes insufferable. They don’t train together, they film together. Every gym session is a weird kind of foreplay. She’s always wearing leggings so tight they might be cutting off blood flow. And he is constantly eyeballing other dudes in the gym, not out of insecurity, but hoping it turns into a confrontation so he can prove his alpha energy for the vlog. But don’t call them attention-seekers. No, no, they call it power couple energy, of course. Every workout ends with a mirror selfie posted on their joint Instagram account, captioned ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ They have 60,000 followers and zero friends. And of course, they secretly hate each other. Ah yes, the gym couple. They’re like a protein fart. Loud, toxic, and somehow, proud of it.
48
49
Behold, the gym couple.
They call it a lifestyle. We call it a full-time performance. He’s like a pickup truck in the city, built for heavy lifting but used purely for attention. She’s like a green smoothie: looks healthy, tastes insufferable. They don’t train together, they film together. Every gym session is a weird kind of foreplay. She’s always wearing leggings so tight they might be cutting off blood flow. And he is constantly eyeballing other dudes in the gym, not out of insecurity, but hoping it turns into a confrontation so he can prove his alpha energy for the vlog. But don’t call them attention-seekers. No, no, they call it power couple energy, of course. Every workout ends with a mirror selfie posted on their joint Instagram account, captioned ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ They have 60,000 followers and zero friends. And of course, they secretly hate each other. Ah yes, the gym couple. They’re like a protein fart. Loud, toxic, and somehow, proud of it.
48
49
Behold, the gym bro.
Always the main character. He took at least 32 photos. And this is the one. The perfect pump. The lighting. The angle. The veins. Perfection. The dude behind him? Collateral damage. A man just trying to live his life, unaware, unconsenting. And now, posted online. He didn’t blur it. He didn’t crop it. He just posted it. Because when you worship yourself, everyone else becomes a prop. For normal people, this is a locker room. For the gym bro, it’s a shrine to his fragile masculinity. It’s like taking selfies at a funeral. Everyone’s uncomfortable, except him. Ah yes, the gym bro. So obsessed with himself he captured his ego and someone else’s dignity.
58
59
Behold, the gym bro.
Always the main character. He took at least 32 photos. And this is the one. The perfect pump. The lighting. The angle. The veins. Perfection. The dude behind him? Collateral damage. A man just trying to live his life, unaware, unconsenting. And now, posted online. He didn’t blur it. He didn’t crop it. He just posted it. Because when you worship yourself, everyone else becomes a prop. For normal people, this is a locker room. For the gym bro, it’s a shrine to his fragile masculinity. It’s like taking selfies at a funeral. Everyone’s uncomfortable, except him. Ah yes, the gym bro. So obsessed with himself he captured his ego and someone else’s dignity.
58
59
Behold, the dealer.
You might think it would be smart not to dress like a dealer when you are, in fact, a dealer. And yet, his outfit screams ‘I am 100% a dealer.’ Fake Gucci cap, tracksuit, a man purse, and always wearing a puffer jacket. Not because it’s cold, but because he thinks it makes him look intimidating. Underneath that jacket hides a skinny boy with a BMI of about 19. All jacket, no muscle mass. He’s kind of like a blowfish: fully inflated, zero threat. Somehow, he’s always five minutes away, and every sentence ends with ‘bro.’ He always says, ‘Trust me bro.’ Translation: under no circumstances should you ever trust me. Every weekend, he becomes the best friend of emotionally exhausted adults looking for their therapy. They’re not addicts, they’re just self-medicating from the stress of daily life. Ah yes, the dealer. He says he’s selling coke while giving you Pepsi.
126
127
Behold, the dealer.
You might think it would be smart not to dress like a dealer when you are, in fact, a dealer. And yet, his outfit screams ‘I am 100% a dealer.’ Fake Gucci cap, tracksuit, a man purse, and always wearing a puffer jacket. Not because it’s cold, but because he thinks it makes him look intimidating. Underneath that jacket hides a skinny boy with a BMI of about 19. All jacket, no muscle mass. He’s kind of like a blowfish: fully inflated, zero threat. Somehow, he’s always five minutes away, and every sentence ends with ‘bro.’ He always says, ‘Trust me bro.’ Translation: under no circumstances should you ever trust me. Every weekend, he becomes the best friend of emotionally exhausted adults looking for their therapy. They’re not addicts, they’re just self-medicating from the stress of daily life. Ah yes, the dealer. He says he’s selling coke while giving you Pepsi.
126
127
Behold, the gym girl.
Always wearing an oversized hoodie so no one stares at her, while her shorts are basically non existent. Her outfit screams, ‘Look at me, but don’t you dare look at me.’ She always sets up a tripod in a crowded public gym and films herself, not to record a workout, but to capture the butt cheek and post it to Instagram. Don’t you dare look at her, or she might expose you on TikTok as a creep for noticing the very thing she angled the camera at for 20 minutes straight. Because filming yourself in a public gym, then getting mad that people looked is like yelling ‘Don’t look at me!’ through a megaphone. Ah yes, the gym girl. Do not look at her in the gym. Only look at her on Instagram.
160
161
Behold, the gym girl.
Always wearing an oversized hoodie so no one stares at her, while her shorts are basically non existent. Her outfit screams, ‘Look at me, but don’t you dare look at me.’ She always sets up a tripod in a crowded public gym and films herself, not to record a workout, but to capture the butt cheek and post it to Instagram. Don’t you dare look at her, or she might expose you on TikTok as a creep for noticing the very thing she angled the camera at for 20 minutes straight. Because filming yourself in a public gym, then getting mad that people looked is like yelling ‘Don’t look at me!’ through a megaphone. Ah yes, the gym girl. Do not look at her in the gym. Only look at her on Instagram.
160
161
Behold, the iPhone selfie.
It’s not about the outfit. It’s not even about the cleavage. No, no. It’s about that flashy new orange iPhone 17 Pro Max. Her caption says the lighting was too good not to take a selfie, while her face is 90% hidden behind a phone that’s basically the same as the last one, which still worked perfectly fine. It’s the holy grail of selfies, that once-a-year ritual, where you spend a ridiculous amount of money just to show the world you’ve fallen for yet another incremental update. Now everyone knows. You’ve got a slightly better camera, an even bigger camera bump, sorry, ‘plateau,’ and new features Android already had a decade ago. But don’t worry. Apple says it’s their most advanced phone ever, just like they said last year, and the year before. Ah yes, the iPhone selfie. It’s like yet another Fast & Furious movie. Nobody cares.
210
211
Behold, the iPhone selfie.
It’s not about the outfit. It’s not even about the cleavage. No, no. It’s about that flashy new orange iPhone 17 Pro Max. Her caption says the lighting was too good not to take a selfie, while her face is 90% hidden behind a phone that’s basically the same as the last one, which still worked perfectly fine. It’s the holy grail of selfies, that once-a-year ritual, where you spend a ridiculous amount of money just to show the world you’ve fallen for yet another incremental update. Now everyone knows. You’ve got a slightly better camera, an even bigger camera bump, sorry, ‘plateau,’ and new features Android already had a decade ago. But don’t worry. Apple says it’s their most advanced phone ever, just like they said last year, and the year before. Ah yes, the iPhone selfie. It’s like yet another Fast & Furious movie. Nobody cares.
210
211
Behold, the vegan.
Always wearing a meat-is-murder shirt, and sipping on a vegan soymilk caramel latte, with more calories than a steak, but with zero nutritional value, living with moral superiority, and of course, a B12 vitamin deficiency, always convincing you that you are the problem. Ah yes, the vegan, constantly having beef over beef.
214
215
Behold, the vegan.
Always wearing a meat-is-murder shirt, and sipping on a vegan soymilk caramel latte, with more calories than a steak, but with zero nutritional value, living with moral superiority, and of course, a B12 vitamin deficiency, always convincing you that you are the problem. Ah yes, the vegan, constantly having beef over beef.
214
215
Behold, the pregnant couple. She’s not pregnant. They are pregnant.
His weekends, once filled with beer and freedom, gone. Now, nine months sober, out of solidarity, and for mental support. Football with the boys, also gone. Replaced with scrapbooking, gluing meaningless scraps into memory books, so his child can one day admire what a loser he already was. Sundays, once sacred, now spent with birth coaches, practicing synchronized breathing for when they go into labor. And of course, no red meat, no caffeine. And every single day, he cleans the cat litter box because she plays the toxoplasmosis card. Ah yes, the pregnant couple. Once a symbol of fertility, now a social castration.
274
275
Behold, the pregnant couple. She’s not pregnant. They are pregnant.
His weekends, once filled with beer and freedom, gone. Now, nine months sober, out of solidarity, and for mental support. Football with the boys, also gone. Replaced with scrapbooking, gluing meaningless scraps into memory books, so his child can one day admire what a loser he already was. Sundays, once sacred, now spent with birth coaches, practicing synchronized breathing for when they go into labor. And of course, no red meat, no caffeine. And every single day, he cleans the cat litter box because she plays the toxoplasmosis card. Ah yes, the pregnant couple. Once a symbol of fertility, now a social castration.
274
275
Behold, the wine mom.
She doesn’t need therapy. She has a bottle of Chardonnay. She posts the same jokes to her Facebook story, every single day. ‘Starting a new juice cleanse,’ and ‘Can’t live without my glasses.’ All her alcoholic friends love her jokes. She doesn’t need expensive wine. The $4 bottle from the gas station hits the perfect ratio of forgetting and just the right amount of headache. Her husband, who she hates, is still at work. The kids moved out years ago. You can only vacuum so much before you start drinking just to feel productive. Each sip, a reward for surviving. Yet another day of absolutely nothing happening. Alone on her island. The kitchen island. Live, laugh, love. Three things her husband hasn’t done in years. Ah yes, the wine mom. She’s not drunk. Just permanently unwinding.
324
325
Behold, the wine mom.
She doesn’t need therapy. She has a bottle of Chardonnay. She posts the same jokes to her Facebook story, every single day. ‘Starting a new juice cleanse,’ and ‘Can’t live without my glasses.’ All her alcoholic friends love her jokes. She doesn’t need expensive wine. The $4 bottle from the gas station hits the perfect ratio of forgetting and just the right amount of headache. Her husband, who she hates, is still at work. The kids moved out years ago. You can only vacuum so much before you start drinking just to feel productive. Each sip, a reward for surviving. Yet another day of absolutely nothing happening. Alone on her island. The kitchen island. Live, laugh, love. Three things her husband hasn’t done in years. Ah yes, the wine mom. She’s not drunk. Just permanently unwinding.
324
325
AWKWARD FLYER A concept by Musketon Instagram: @awkwardflyer Book Design Han van de Ven Copy Editing Lisa Holden
Sign up for our newsletter with news about new and forthcoming publications on art, interior design, travel, photography and fashion as well as exclusive offers and events. If you have any questions or comments about the material in this book, please do not hesitate to contact our editorial team: art@lannoo.com All illustrations © Musketon © Lannoo Publishers, Belgium, 2026 BISAC: ART016010, ART046000 D/2026/45/472 ISBN: 978-90-599-6627-7 www.lannoopublishers.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owners and publishers. All rights are reserved, including those for text and data mining, AI training and similar technologies.