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ABIDE VOL. 1 | JULY2021

Translate Faith Into

Your Modern Lifestyle

Healthy Living

WITH ORCHIDS + SWEET TEA

Millennials and Money

WITH AYANA CAMPBELL SMITH

ROOTED Christ A N T I D R I F T IN I S S U E

ABIDE VOL. 1 | JULY2021

Translate Faith Into Your Modern Lifestyle

Healthy Living WITH ORCHIDS + SWEET TEA

Millennials and Money WITH AYANA CAMPBELL SMITH

ROOTED Christ A N T I D R I F T IN I S S U E

FROM THE EDITOR

ANTI-DRIFT means to stick with God’s will for your life even when He leads you into uncharted, deep waters, all the while trusting everything will work out for your good for this life and eternity.

THE ANTI-DR

EDITOR’S LETTER

As I sit down to write my first ever editor’s letter, my holdup isn’t the loss for words, but rather the unrelenting mass of them. I have so many thoughts rushing through my head that I want to share with you. Alas, I’m struggling to string them all together to form a cohesive and engaging editor’s letter that wraps up what ABIDE is, what Anti-Drift means, and what I hope you get from our very first issue. So, like many of the inspiring articles you’ll read in this issue, I’ve chosen a Q & A format that will hopefully suffice. What is ABIDE? In our humble beginnings, ABIDE takes its form as a digital magazine purposed to translate faith into lifestyle. I believe there is a lack of media, businesses, resources, and community designed to nurture, inform, encourage, comfort and even entertain Millennial and Gen Z Christian women. Here at ABIDE, our mission is to place faith in the context of wellness, style, beauty, relationships, money and career, and general lifestyle for the

RIFT ISSUE

modern woman of faith. With more to come, ABIDE serves the holistic you. Everything we do is with you in mind. What Does Anti-Drift Mean? It means to stick with God’s will for your life even when He leads you into uncharted, deep waters, all the while trusting everything will work out for your good for this life and eternity. I believe too many of us are living in idle, lukewarm faith, and maybe placing a little too much faith in ‘positive vibes.’ In turn, we’re missing out on the full, luxurious, life-giving, life-sustaining promise of God...to live life PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHARLES CATO, JR.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FROM THE EDITOR

Affirmation

I can thrive in the deep waters God calls me to, all the while having the utmost joy and peace as I lay down my anxieties at His gracious feet. I trust that God will sustain me and be my anchor in uncharted waters. I shall not drown. I shall not be consumed. I will become stronger, healthier, wealthier and more faithful in the deep, knowing that God will do His best work for me outside of my comfort zone.

more abundantly. We’re mindlessly and robotically dredging along from workday to workday, living for the weekends, without a clue of what we’re doing in this life. This magazine issue represents what happens when ordinary people decide to make God their anchor and, through the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s grace, don’t drift from His plan. What exists in your life today because you decided to stay anchored in Christ? At the same time, what’s missing because you didn’t? Why should you read this? Through each page, you’ll be encouraged to stop thinking about it, stop dreaming about it, stop talking about it, and to stop waiting for the perfect time to start it. Instead, ask God to show you a vision and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, stay the course and get it done. Each of the women presented in these pages have embodied this very notion to reach the seemingly impossible. On page 19, Brittany Moses, wellness content creator, reveals how her steady relationship with Christ since becoming a teen mom led her to educate herself and now thousands of others of the ups and downs of how mental wellness and faith intersect. On page 39,

“When you walk through deep waters, you will not drown, and through the fire you will not be burned. The flames will not consume you.” —ISAIAH 43: 2

Dara Olagbami, EIC of Grace Magazine, shares how sticking with God led to her success as an entrepreneur, wife and mother. On page 71, Michaela Parlett opens up about relying on God to bring her out of an abusive marriage to now empowering thousands of women to be confident regardless of relationship status. As for our cover, Dorian Ezzard and Morgan McCrory, co-creators of the lifestyle brand The Rooted Life, were destined to grace this cover. Their very brand perfectly represents the message of this issue: to grow and remain rooted in Christ through every area of life and to treat our faith not as an isolated segment of life, but as the very foundation of our everyday lifestyle. And there’s so much more in this issue that I hope elevates your mind, body and soul. Angela Balitmore talks about the secrets to making a statement in fashion. Shanika Graham-White shares her journey to healthy living amidst postpartum recovery. Ayana Campbell Smith breaks the stigma around millennials and money. Tarah-Lynn Saint-Elien shares how she stays anchored in the midst of success. And Nicolle Osequeda talks about how we can skillfully navigate seasons in our lives. I hope you’ll delve in deep to every page and enjoy every minute.

July 2021 | ABIDE

IN THE

DEEP

ANTI-DRIFT means refusing to stray from God’s unique and perfect plan for your life

FAITH & MENTAL 18 HEALTH COMPLEX Wellness content creator Brittney Moses bridges the gap between the Christian faith and mental health.

MAKE A 10 STATEMENT

Fashion Blogger Angela Baltimore defines flex in fashion and shares how you can too.

HEALTHY 27 LIVING: BABY, IT’S MILLENIALS 34 PERSONAL & MONEY Recipe Developer Shanika Graham-White reminds us to put the flavor and individuality back in healthy eating.

Finance Coach Ayana Campbell Smith works for one thing: to help millennials reach financial freedom.

THE EBBS & FLOW OF TRANSITIONS

Clinical Director Nicolle Osequeda coins the term toxic positivity and advises how to navigate life changes.

EIC of Grace Magazine Dara Olagbami lights fire behind her faith to pursue her true calling.

ANCHORED IN ARMOR

Tarah-lynn Saint-Elien defines being anchored in unshakeable faith.

17 SUMMER ESSENTIALS we’ve rounded up the top essentials for your effortless summer style. 24 AT-HOME WELLNESS TREATMENTS Explore our suggested wellness treatments for you to use at home.

ROOTED 47 IN CHRIST

Co-Owners of The Rooted Life Dorian Ezzard and Morgan McCrory decide to dig deep and plant roots in their relationship with Christ.

SELF OVER 70 STATUS From toxic relationships to being a savvy single, podcast host Michaela Parlett shows what happens when we choose ourselves over our relationship status.

62 DEEPLY ROOTED DEVOTIONALS Life-changing devotionals that will help you cultivate a deeper and more fruitful relationship with Christ.

JULY 2021

FAITH IN ACTION

76 ABIDE HIGHLIGHTS Learn about our memberships, events and how to join our team.

July 2021 | ABIDE

STATEMENT

Making a

STYLE & BEAUTY

INTERVIEWED BY JOY CATO

Angela Baltimore

Bored of all the sameness among fashion influencers, Angela Baltimore, fashion blogger and stylist, has decided to do something about it. Through her fashion services, Angela is all about bringing back the notion of “making a statement.”

July 2021 | ABIDE

STYLE & BEAUTY Describe your journey that led to your confidence in your personal style? When I first started blogging, it was a bit intimidating because I saw all the popular influencers had a clean and neutral style. I felt like, ‘wow, where am I going to fit?’ My page didn’t look like theirs. It was hard to find people with similar styles as mine. We see a lot of influencers and they all wear the same thing the same way because someone said this is the “it” bag or this is the “it” dress. I’m not saying you can’t wear those things, but it’s important to make that piece your own. That’s what gives people the inspiration to say, ‘wow, I never thought to wear that dress that way or I never thought to pair it with that color.’ There was a time when bloggers had such unique points of view, but at some point it got watered down and became generic. Now, it’s hard to find those people who are true to their style and have a unique point of view. At the end of the day, it was important to stay true to myself. Regardless of how many followers or likes I got, I knew staying true to my style was what would help me grow. I rock things that I love, no matter what anyone else is doing or saying. How would you describe your look? Honestly, I can be preppy one day and super edgy the next. Some days my style is bold with a sophisticated edge. I’m not afraid of colors and patterns.

What I appreciate most is what I am learning about myself and my own commitment to the convenant relationship to which I hold myself accountable.

What does it take to make a fashion statement? When you put on the item, you have to put on confidence. You can put on a crazy jacket or a fire shoe, but you have to be able to back that up.

July 2021 | ABIDE

STYLE & BEAUTY

How does luxury play into making a statement in fashion? Personally, I do incorporate a good amount of luxury into my wardrobe, but I don’t think it’s necessary to make a statement in fashion. Money doesn’t always equate to style. If you think about it, luxury is just the thing you purchase, but style is what you do with it. Just because you buy a Gucci bag doesn’t mean you know how to style it. Whether it’s luxury, fast fashion, or the thrift store, it’s about taking those things and giving it new life. You can get lost in a sea of everyone looking the same on social media, but if it doesn’t fit your personal style, luxury or not, you shouldn’t purchase it.

Does your faith interject with your fashion? For me, it does intertwine. My husband is a minister and I feel like there’s always this preconceived idea that a minister’s wife has to dress a certain way. It’s important, especially as a younger woman in a leadership position, to show that you can still serve God and be fashionable. You don’t have to be frumpy or wear the big church hat. Fashion has evolved and when you show that you can be bold and be yourself, but still be classy and respectful, people really gravitate towards that. I can wear my clothes and still be impactful.

What are some practical ways to make a statement? TRY NEW COLOR COMBINATIONS. People tend to naturally lean towards black, but color instantly brings more attention. TRY UNEXPECTED AND INTERESTING SHAPES. Style hourglass blazers, uniquely shaped bags, or interesting footwear. TRY ACCESSORIES. Utilize chunky jewelry, broaches, headscarf, sunglasses, hats, etc. TRY LEOPARD OR ANIMAL PRINTS. The great thing about animal prints is that they’re neutrals. You can treat animal print like you’re wearing black. HAVE A SIGNATURE. People know me for my bold looks and for my shoes. A signature could be a lip color, a haircut, headware, etc.

What are your go-to rules for finding personal style? Find inspiration. That’s usually an indicator of your personal style and what you like. But then you have to be cognizant that even though you may like that style, it doesn’t mean it’s for you. You want to take that style a step further and adjust it to what you’re comfortable with or what your lifestyle is like.

July 2021 | ABIDE

STYLE & BEAUTY

INTRO: Quarantine sparked a simple, but cute stay-at-home style, so it’s no wonder the vibe for summer 2021 is minimal, but never boring. Here, we’ve rounded up the top essentials for your effortless summer style.

SUMMER ESSENTIALS STATEMENT SUNGLASSES DEZI EYEWEAR, BACKTRACK, $85

STRAPPY HEEL UPLIFT BLACK PATENT, $109.95

WHITE SNEAKERS NIKE AIR FORCE 1 SNEAKERS, $90

CARRYALL TOTE BAG LARGE AZALEA SHOPPING BAG, $257

SUNDRESS/SLIP DRESS BIAS COWL MIDI DRESS, $275

THE DAY MARKET TOTE, $180

SUBTLE HOOP EARRING SPIRAL EAR CUFF, $36 SHORTS EDEN BEIGE BANDAGE SHORTS, $65 WHITE BUTTON DOWN OVERSIZED SHIRT WITH POCKET, $39.90 MINI SKIRT MINI SKIRT WITH SLIT, $39.90

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Faith Mental &Health THE

COMPLEX INTERVIEWED BY LAURYN PARADIS

Brittney Moses, Content Creator of all things faith and holistic wellness, talks about the ups and downs in the intersection between the christian faith and mental health.

Did you grow up in the Christian faith? If so, how did your experience as a youth impact your desire to talk about mental health now? Brittney Moses: I did. I was the epitome of a church kid. However, around my preteen years, my parents went through an unfortunate divorce which led to a divorcing of my own faith. It wasn’t until after I had my son, Austin, at eighteen-years old that I started thinking more seriously about my life and my values which led me to try church again and rededicated my faith to Christ.

My experience growing up in the church showed me where some of the stigma and gaps in information and resources were when it came to the church and mental health overtime. But, having that foundation of church culture and understanding scripture really made it more salient for me to make sense of how the principles of psychology and theology came together. More specifically, the areas where they overlap and the areas where each helps expand on the other.

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Why did you decide to dedicate your platform to the intersection of faith and mental health? I had been serving in the church and ministry for years and found myself face to face with managing a number of mental crises happening with individuals and families in our community. Whether it be the impact of trauma, depression, or severe anxiety, especially with young adults. Many times people will come to church to find spiritual and social support, so mental health challenges are pretty primed to show up in the process. In fact, research for decades has shown the people in psychological distress will often turn to their pastor or clergy before they ever step foot to a mental health professional. I’d also had my own share of experiencing severe anxiety and was curious about the more practical reasons behind why these challenges persist, especially in light of our faith, how mental health challenges are rooted in our bodies and real solutions that lead to a sense of freedom and lasting change. This led me to initially start my blog exploring the faith and mental health conversation and propelled me to go back to school at UCLA to gain more research and understanding to help raise better awareness.

Sometimes when met with great difficulty in mental health or otherwise, the church sums it up with a “pray about it.” What’s your take on this? This comes up often and usually refers to a type of spiritual bypassing that can take place when we use christian “cliches” or commonly quoted scriptures to bypass really challenging and uncomfortable emotions. We can do it to others and we can do it to ourselves. It’s not that prayer is an inadequate thing. I certainly believe in the power of prayer. It’s that it sometimes misses an opportunity to genuinely sit with someone and allow the necessary process of difficult emotions as well as being led toward practical solutions. We know that faith without works is dead and I think this likewise applies to our mental health and the issue with spiritual bypassing. At worst, at the wrong time it may come off as unhelpful or insensitive. So it may be more helpful to ask people what would be helpful to them in that moment or be willing to point them to more resources and better equipped individuals in the area they’re having a hard time with.

…“pray about it.” …comes up often and usually refers to a type of spiritual bypassing…

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.” —1 PETER 5:10

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELNESS

INTER Faith &Mental

THE

SECTION

Health

Why is it so important to stay grounded in your faith when it comes to mental wellness? Our faith affirms our identity- chosen, purposed and created for good works- when we feel lost. Our faith reminds us that God’s presence isn’t just a feeling, it’s a promise through some of the darkest hours. At the end of the day, where our faith is grounded and what we genuinely believe to be true is what helps sustain us. I find that deeply necessary in this life. What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with their mental health and does not know where to turn? What Bible verses would you share with them? I’d really love to stress that struggling with mental health challenges like anxiety, depression or certain traumas, doesn’t make you less of a Christian. It makes you a human being having a human experience that is worthy of love and support. One of my favorite verses that I’ve clung to in my toughest times is 1 Peter 5:10 which promises, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.”

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

INTRO: Improve your at-home experience with these effective, yet affordable wellness treatments

AT-HOME WELLNESS

Treatments TREATMENT: STEAM FACIAL DR. DENNIS GROSS PRO FACIAL STEAMER, $149 Benefits: Promotes skin moisture, clarifies complexion, purifies skin. Tip: follow up with a clay mask

TREATMENT: RED LIGHT THERAPY RED LIGHT THERAPY DEVICE, $169

Benefits: Anti-aging, improved skin tone & texture, pain relief, wrinkle reduction and improved sleep.

TREATMENT: MILK BATH HERBIVORE COCONUT MILK BATH SOAK, $18

Benefits: Targets skin dullness, dryness and eczema.

TREATMENT: LYMPHATIC MASSAGE WOODEN GUA SHA PADDLE, $20.99

Benefits: Treats acne, cellulite, digestive issues, puffiness, stress, inflammation, insomnia, migraines, flow of blood and lymph throughout the body

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

INTRO: Influenced by her Southern + Jamaican background of flavorful foods and seeking relief from Postpartum pains, Shanika-Graham White shares her journey to wellbalanced eating all the while reminding us that the journey isn’t one size fits all.

HEALTHY INTERVIEWED BY JOY CATO

LIVING

BABY,

It’s Personal

When did you realize your love for cooking? In 2016, things were extremely tough for my husband and I financially. So, I began cooking out of survival. It started out as making chicken, testing out baking desserts, and so on. However, I wasn’t afraid of trying and failing when it came to being in the kitchen and while many dishes weren’t that great, I began learning more and more as I continued. It wasn’t until shortly after that I began food blogging. Eventually, it took on a whole other life of its own. Now, I’ve realized that what started out as cooking for survival became cooking for passion and my true love for the art of it.

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

When and why did you become vegan? Despite popular belief, I am not entirely vegan. Five years ago, after having my son, I had the hardest time dealing with Postpartum recovery. I went through the normal hair loss, weight loss from breastfeeding, and so on. However, I noticed my hair wouldn’t grow at all despite my hair regimen. I began to get monthly ovarian cysts, which were incredibly painful, and endometriosis symptoms, which couldn’t be treated by my doctor without hormonal medication. Not wanting to go down that route at all, I chose to do some research and I realized that my diet might play a huge role in everything.

After changing my diet to a healthier one without any dietary restrictions, rather just ingredient restrictions, I’m beginning to feel like myself again. My hair growth has shifted tremendously, I have overall nail health, less headaches, facial acne has minimized, and my ovarian cysts are far less frequent. All in all, changing my diet to a healthier one that minimizes dairy/ gluten on most days has been a blessing.

All in all, changing my diet to a healthier one that minimizes dairy/gluten on most days has been a blessing.

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

What was the most challenging part of that transition? Honestly, it was the mental stamina. Growing up in a Jamaican household, meat, starch and dairy is a major part of our intake. Couple that with my Southern roots and you’ve got double trouble when it comes to my love of over the top foods. So, understanding that loving yourself comes with being intentional about your health as it relates to what you consume was hard. When I tried being a vegan, it was super difficult because I had to give up EVERYTHING all at once, which probably wasn’t the best way to jump in anyway. This is why I tell people to slowly transition because the mental struggle with transitioning is sometimes much more horrific than the actual physical effects. How has your Jamaican culture influenced your road to healthy eating? To be honest, on one hand, my Jamaican culture has shown me what not to do when it comes to food and how to eat. In general, plant-based foods aren’t the highest part of Jamaican food, therefore, you aren’t ever really exposed to eating the fruits and veggies as you should. On the other hand, it taught me something absolutely beautiful about natural remedies as it relates to keeping yourself healthy and battling sickness in general. Growing up, I was taught to drink tea every morning with my meals, which has stuck with me until this day. I was taught the many home remedies for simple things like headaches, stomach upsets, pain in your body, etc. versus relying on medications. Now that I am more health conscious, I definitely lean on that part of my Jamaican background a lot more than I did growing up.

So, understanding that loving yourself comes with being intentional about your health as it relates to what you consume was hard.

July 2021 | ABIDE

HEALTH & WELLNESS

How do you still stay connected to your southern roots through your healthier food choices? Oh My! That’s a good one. When it comes to Southern foods, it can get really over the top, especially with the not so healthy ingredients like sugar, butter, starches, and so on. However, while I am more intentional about eating healthier, I am still entirely focused on the enjoyment of eating good food. With that being said, I am a huge believer in FLAVOR! My Southern roots have taught me not to be afraid of seasoning my food! Regardless of how healthy something is, I’m not about eating anything bland or boring, so seasoning goes a long way for me and is major!

How should someone stuck in an unhealthy lifestyle begin the process of transitioning to a healthier one? I wrote an entire post on this which can be found on my blog’s site. However, to sum it all up, it’s all about slow transition. I advise anyone to first start by adding more plantbased or vegan ingredients into their diet on a daily basis---even if it’s one thing. Secondly, I always recommend not giving up all of your favorite foods right away. Rather, as you get used to eating the plant-based ingredients, you’ll eventually begin to let go of the old favorites without feeling deprived. Lastly, I always recommend discovering new ingredients in general. I’ve learned that most people leave a diet because they either feel restricted or bored with eating repeat foods. I recommend researching different food blogs and purchasing cookbooks to expose yourself to fresh, new ingredients that keep you interested.

What do you hope your platform/cookbook provides for people? First, I hope that my platform/cookbook encourages people to be brave in the kitchen and just TRY. Also, I want to give people hope and a clear understanding that living for Christ isn’t a cliche as it’s made to seem. I’m often transparent on my platform (and this doesn’t change in my cookbook) about my journey so that people can understand that I didn’t get here (in my career or personal growth) by myself. I give all Glory to God and I always will.

July 2021 | ABIDE

MONEY & CAREER

Millennial and Mone INTERVIEWED BY LAURYN PARADIS

INTRO: Through expert advice and personal experience, Ayana Campbell Smith, better known as the millennial money guide, works to break the ‘money is big and scary’ stigma that many millennials inadvertently subscribe to.

Why did you choose to target millennials with your financial expertise? I felt like millennials face a unique set of challenges when it comes to our money. It’s a lot different from what our parents faced or even future generations may face. A lot of millennials have student loan debts and other things that are weighing them down, but at the same time, we still have a strong desire to experience life. My work is all about trying to find that middle ground, making smart money decisions, getting out of debt, getting good at saving and budgeting, but also enjoying life. Being a millennial myself, I can relate and speak to the millennial experience. On my profile, I don’t just share personal finance education, I share pieces of my own journey, too. I speak from an authentic place. What do you think millennials need to learn the most about money? The biggest thing relates to mindset and just knowing that money doesn’t have to be this big, scary thing. But, that only comes with having a plan. If you continue to ignore it, then money will always be scary. When we fall into that fear of money, that’s really when we get stuck. We have to take that time to be a little bit vulnerable, seek help when we need it, find resources, and do the work that it takes to get our money on track.

ls ey

April 2021 | ABIDE

MONEY & CAREER

What does the phrase “conscious spending” mean? [This term] was coined by Ramit Sethi, who wrote the book, “I Will Teach You To Be Rich”. To me, it means you’re spending your money in a way that aligns with your priorities, goals, and values, then cutting out anything that doesn’t align with those. How does being in control of one’s finances lead to a more stable life? When you’re in control of your finances and have an effective system for managing your money, it’s one less thing you have to focus on. Being in control of your finances seems minor and many people take it for granted, but it lets you live out your life.

Why is it important to create stable money habits? What are some habits you personally have? When you have stable money habits, it’s a great way of not having to worry about what your money is doing, but still knowing it’s being put to good use. When I receive a paycheck, I automatically take off the top percentage of whatever goal I’m working towards and put that in savings. Another habit is money dates. Those are dedicated times to check in on your money, budget, etc. This gives you an opportunity to pivot if needed and keep yourself in alignment. Finally, goal-setting and attaching deeper meaning to what you’re saving or investing for.

When you became debt-free yourself , what did you determine as your next step towards staying financially stable? Definitely remaining debt-free! If I did take out a loan, I went into it already having a plan for having it paid off in a year or less. The other thing was getting really good at saving money. Switch the money you’d use to pay off debt to savings or investing and that helps you not to fall back into bad habits. What is one piece of advice for a young woman who does not know where to begin with controlling her finances and, possibly, living paycheck to paycheck? The best starting point is to do a spending audit. I have my clients go through their spending in the last three months and categorize it. Many times, people feel like they are living paycheck to paycheck. I certainly don’t want to look down on anyone who is living that way, but what some of my clients and I often find is they aren’t actually living paycheck to paycheck. They just have no awareness of where their money is going.

conscious spending

spending your money in a way that aligns with your priorities, goals, and values

July 2021 | ABIDE

MONEY & CAREER

INTRO | Mother. Wife. Director. Designer. Editor. At first glance, Dara Olagbami, EIC of Grace Magazine, has got it all figured out. Her secret: The finest of faith in Jesus Christ. Here, she talks about how Jesus is the one solution to every decision in life...career included.

INTERVIEWED BY JOY CATO

FAITH in Action What’s Grace Magazine’s mission? It’s a simple one: to share the love, light and message of Christ. I definitely don’t see Grace as a business or as a way to make money. Even though there are business elements of Grace, it’s not at the forefront of my mind. I look at it as an evangelism tool. It’s a way to propagate the gospel and to infiltrate the media with light. I would like to know that heaven is being populated because people are coming in contact with Grace’s content and by that, coming in contact with Jesus. I want hell depopulated and heaven populated through Grace Magazine.

Before creating Grace, you were proudly and passionately working in the fashion industry. How did you deal with aligning your desires with God’s desires for your life? Fashion has been my desire for over a decade and everything needed to create my fashion brand was there: the business plan, the funds, the resources, and the designs. Everything was in place, except God. Therefore, it didn’t even get off the ground. So, I began to change my prayer. I began to submit and draw closer to God even more. I told Him, ‘Look, if you don’t want me to pursue fashion, remove the desire.’ I don’t want to desire anything that He doesn’t desire for me...because it can become a torment and a bit irritating otherwise. I learned that you can pray until you’re blue in the face, if it’s not the will of God, it’s not going to come to fruition. God will allow us to go outside of His will, but if you obtain something out of His will, you have to stay out of His will to maintain it. I figured, I’m safe inside God’s will and I’ll prosper inside God’s will. I want what He wants for me. It’s so much easier that way. It’s more fulfilling. God knows how to satisfy His children. He wants the best for us, therefore I want what He’s got in store. July 2021 | ABIDE

MONEY & CAREER

How do you continue to stay afloat mentally, emotionally and spiritually? I try to stay disciplined. We live in a world that is constantly vying for attention. I try as much as possible to keep my eyes on God and make sure His voice is the loudest. I’ve experienced the repercussions of not taking my prayer life seriously and not fully submitting to God. I don’t need to experience that again. The secret to maintaining my balance is sticking with God. Even when I feel like giving up, I’m sticking with Him. I try to keep myself focused on Jesus and filled up with the Holy Spirit so I’m empowered to be a mom, a wife and an entrepreneur because it’s Him doing the work in me and through me. I just try to keep God at the forefront of everything.

If He calls you to do it, it’s going to stand the test of time. God doesn’t call us into the deep to cause us to drown.

How do you deal with the daily stress of wearing so many professional hats plus caring for your family? I have to confide in somebody. I’m the type of person who needs to release the tension or the stress that’s in my head. Yes, prayer definitely works. However, we’re meant to fellowship to encourage each other. If I’m honest, I’ve had suicidal thoughts before and I know what it’s like to be in a dark place and feel like there’s nobody to speak to. I know what it’s like to get in the ring with suicide and fight. For me, I don’t allow myself to get too stressed, overwhelmed or down. I have people around me to intercede. I know my pressure points. And I believe, to a degree, the enemy knows my pressure points too. So, I don’t allow him to ever get the upper hand in those areas that are a bit weak for me.

July 2021 | ABIDE

MONEY & CAREER

With society leaning more and more away from God, how do you find the courage and stamina to keep spreading the gospel? I really appreciate my salvation. I see it as an immense privilege to be called out of darkness into His light. The way I was saved, what God brought me through, I can’t help but talk about God. Wherever I am, Jesus is going to come out. Of course, I exercise wisdom in how I go about sharing Him. The scripture tells us that the days will become more evil, but we’re still encouraged to fight the good fight of faith. Don’t get me wrong, I can feel a bit nervous if I’m talking about a particular subject, but I don’t allow it to silence me from talking about Christ.

What’s your advice for bouncing back from a failure? Go back to the drawing board. If you feel God has instructed you to do something, I would advise that you seek His face concerning the matter. Ask Him to confirm what He actually wants you to do because sometimes when we fail, it’s because we’re operating in a space God never called us to. Your failure may be God’s way of bringing you somewhere else. Go back to the drawing board, put it into prayer, and ask God to confirm His plan for you. God never wants us to feel like we’ve failed too big to come back from.

I learned that you can pray until you’re blue in the face, if it’s not the will of God, it’s not going to come to fruition.

April 2021 | ABIDE

MONEY & CAREER

The secret to maintaining my balance is sticking with God.

How do you deal with moments of doubt and fear? I just remember why I’m doing what I’m doing. When I remember the why, it leads me to the Who that called me to do it. And then I’m good. We overcomplicate our calling and faith. Because of the digital age we live in, we look for the “5 steps to achieve your goals” or the “10 steps to get out of imposter syndrome” when in reality, there doesn’t have to be all these steps. Jesus is the way. He ‘s actually the solution to every issue and problem. We need to stop looking for solutions outside of Him. What’s your best advice for someone trying to build something out of nothing? Ask yourself a couple questions. What’s the purpose of this business? Did God call you to start this business? From there, it will become evident of how to start building. I’m living proof that you can build something out of nothing. I didn’t have the qualifications the world required to even apply for my kind of position. But whom God calls, He equips. At the end of the day, it’s His power working through us. If Jesus is the foundation, you already have everything you need. So, essentially, you’re not building from nothing. If He calls you to do it, it’s going to stand the test of time. God doesn’t call us into the deep to cause us to drown.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

Dorian Ezzard and Morgan McCrory, Co-hosts of podcast The Rooted Life, talk about the true meaning of abiding in Christ, surrendering the “do’s and don’ts” of religion for a true, meaningful relationship with God. They both took time to build a genuine relationship with God and as a result, have built an entire brand, with over 11,000 followers, as an extension of their own faith. They explain the true meaning of Anti-Drift and its radical effects.

ROOTED Christ IN

INTERVIEWED BY LAURYN PARADIS

STYLING CONSULTANT: CRYSTAL WILLIAMS PHOTOGRAPHER: CHARLES CATO JR.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

When was the moment you knew you wanted to dedicate your life to God and His purpose for you? Dorian Ezzard: Like many of us, I grew up in the church. But in 2017, I was let go from my job and went through a very traumatic relationship that ended in a break-up. In that season, I found myself back at my parents’ house and starting to re-commit to doing work with God and really leaning on Him to see what the difference would be. I had been fake leaning in all that time. For 30 days, I read a prayer book, prayed with intent, and believed God to carry me through that season that I thought would be really short. It ended up being six months of unemployment, but that defining moment was when I saw that He was sustaining me in a way that I knew only He could. In that small moment, I dedicated my life to him.

What are you doing in your life so you’re not drifting?

Morgan McCrory: Similarly, my life was falling apart. My marriage ended, I had nowhere to live, I was starting grad school, had no job, and I didn’t have community. God was the only steady constant in my life, so I just kept leaning into Him and seeing where He would take me. It’s like James 4:8 says, “Come near to God and He will come near to you” (NIV). I was seeing more and more of Him, and I was loving it. That was really a defining moment.

ANTI-DRIFT July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

What does being grounded in your faith mean to you? MM: I think about the process of what it takes to dig deep roots. I think about how having faith requires you to go through situations that require you to have faith. Being grounded in your faith means developing that process so when something comes, your first reaction is faith and not fear.

DE: When I think about being grounded, it’s this idea in Psalms 1, which talks about being a tree planted next to the living water, which is God. Their leaves don’t wither and everything you do prospers. I also just love the idea that being grounded means everything you do can be used by God and elevated for His glory.

Drifting is so sneaky and sudden.

ANTI-DRIFT

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

ANTI-DRIFT

You put your head down and then all of a sudden, you can’t even see God anymore.

What are some of your favorite Bible verses that keep you grounded and why? DE: The one that comes to mind is Romans 8:18. Morgan is actually the one who made it stand out to me. The funny part is that no one talks about verse 17, which comes right before. It basically says that if you want to share in His glory, you have to share in His suffering. This keeps me grounded because it’s kind of the upside-down concept that the worse it is now, the better it is on the other side. I love being reminded of the little fact that suffering comes, but there is something better on the other side. MM: I love Joshua in the Bible. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord Himself will be with you. He will go before you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged.” I love the idea that our God has gone before us in the future because He stands outside the realm of time, and He knows exactly what I need to do to get into that place. He says that I have to go through this, and cry about this, and wait on this because He’s already gone before me and made the path so beautiful.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

“The Lord Himself will be with you. He will go before you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged.” —DEUTERONOMY 31:8

What advice do you have for someone who is struggling to stay grounded in their faith and doesn’t know what the next step is? MM: I would tell them that God honors little faith. Whatever faith you have, just start there! Every next step is going to require more faith. So if you’re struggling, read Hebrews 11 and know that you’re in good company! God will reveal the next step in due time, but you also have to be obedient to whatever the next step may be. DE: I would just tell them that they’re probably closer than they think they are. When you’re at the point that you’re ready to give up, you’re probably right on the edge! In the enemy’s strategy, this is where all his attacks are going to come because he knows you’re so close. Just keep pressing, just like in Galatians 6:9.

How does the idea of “Anti-Drift” relate to your lives? MM: I think about an anchor and the role that it plays. The anchor might move locations, but it’s still keeping that boat where it needs to be. There are so many waves crashing over my head, but I just keep clinging to God. He’s holding me down, and it might be rough, but He’s still with me. I know that “anti-drift” is not trying to avoid the hard parts of life, but clinging to God in those hard parts and trusting Him to sustain you.

DE: There is an active part to play in not drifting. The word “anti-racist” is very popular right now. In order to be anti-racist, you have to actively do things to not be racist. It’s the same way with “anti-drift.” What are you doing in your life so you’re not drifting? Drifting is so sneaky and sudden. You put your head down and then all of a sudden, you can’t even see God anymore. It’s just actively working each day.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

ANCHORED IN ARMOR INTERVIEWED BY LAURYN PARADIS

Just what can an unshakeable faith achieve? Tarah-lynn Saint-Elien, founder of Adorned in Armor and Miss Black New Jersey of 2018, shares how and why she’s stayed anchored in Christ in the midst of her success.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

…when we plan with God, and not ahead of Him, we are situated in peace and clarity.

What does being grounded in your faith mean to you? Tarah-lynn Saint-Elien: To me, grounded faith means to be rooted on the solid foundation of Jesus. It’s understanding who you are as an heir of the Kingdom of God, it’s knowing His Kingdom is unshakeable and immovable no matter what your circumstances may look like. I don’t serve God based on what I experience. I serve Him because I know with my heart, mind and soul that He is good and His promises are true. I can stand on His Word because He is not a man that will lie. I trust in my Father because He deserves my full devotion, not half-heartedness or lukewarm faith. With juggling running a blog, being an author, running a YouTube channel, and hosting a podcast, how do you rely on God to get you through your everyday to-do list? I first make sure I start my day with God so that everything that flows from me speaks life. I also make sure I plan my day with His purposes in mind. I have a video on my YouTube channel that goes more into detail but I strongly believe when we plan with God, and not ahead of Him, we are situated in peace and clarity.

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

What does “anti-drift” mean to you in terms of your faith, career, ministry, and life’s purpose? It means remaining purposeful, to be goal-oriented and dedicated. I am dedicated to the cause of Christ so whatever I do flows from this place! Who was very influential for your faith in your life? What kind of impact do they still have today for you? My mother has been the most influential. She has been ill for over 20 years. So, she can not only say that the joy of the Lord is her strength – she lives it.

When you are feeling overwhelmed by everyday life, how does God show up and bring you back to a calm, restful place? He has blessed me with beautiful people in my corner who remind me to slow down and take a step back. They remind me I don’t have to do it all. When I keep this in mind, I’m able to put down all of my projects and breathe. What is your best piece of advice for someone who is struggling with remaining grounded in her faith and God? Choose Jesus! Whenever you feel as though you have a decision to make whether big or small, consider the option that will most please Him. Honor Him and He will show you that He has never let you down and He never will. How are you going deeper with Christ in 2021? I’m developing a deeper prayer language and pressing deeper in His presence.

I am dedicated to the cause of Christ so whatever I do flows from this place!

July 2021 | ABIDE

FAITH

DEEPLY-RO

Devotio

INTRO: In the name of An rounded up life-changing that will help you cultivate more fruitful relationship

UNLOCKING THE BIBLE STORY SERIES Colin S. Smith SUMMARY: Beginning with the Old Testament, Colin Smith unlocks rich, life-changing truths while encouraging and strengthening readers in their daily walk with Christ. Come along and discover the keys to a vibrant Christian life in Unlocking the Bible Story.

OOTED

onals

nti-Drift, we’ve g devotionals e a deeper and p with Christ.

THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE Rick Warren

FERVENT Priscilla Shirer

SUMMARY: Designed to be read in 42 days, each chapter provides a daily meditation and practical steps to help you discover and live out your purpose

SUMMARY: Each chapter will guide you in crafting prayer strategies that hit the enemy where it hurts, letting him know you’re on to him and that you won’t back down.

LORD, TEACH ME TO PRAY IN 28 DAYS Kay Arthur SUMMARY: Readers of little or great prayer experience will discover practical insights to help them know how to pray, what to pray, and what to expect when they pray.

July 2021 | ABIDE

LIFESTYLE

There’s always that grief of what we leave behind even though what ahead is exciting.

INTERVIEWED BY LAUREN DANIELS

The Ebbs and Flows of Transitions HOW CAN WE SKILLFULLY NAVIGATE CHANGES IN LIFE?

Nicolle Osequeda, Lincoln’s Group Transitions Expert, talks about the emotional ins and outs of life changes.

July 2021 | ABIDE

LIFESTYLE

What are some common emotions experienced when someone is in transition? There are two buckets to classify emotions: positive ones and challenging ones. Positive emotions could include excitement, hopefulness, gratitude or joy. Coupled with those emotions are the challenging ones, which include anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, fear or shock. It is always a mix of the two buckets. In the midst of transition, we feel excitement, joy and we feel fear, worry, and uncertainty. All of these emotions are natural and we have to honour all of them. It’s always such a plethora but it’s so important to identify emotions.

How would you advise someone in transition to cope with those emotions? In our society, we create this idea that there is only room for positivity when really, with any transition, it’s a mixture. It’s important to recognize and create space for that dialectic- I can be excited but there is room for me to feel overwhelmed or anxious. Even maybe reflecting on questions like ‘Am I making the right decision?’ These emotions and ponderings are normal. Positive emotions do not have more weight than others. The key is to honour both positive and challenging emotions. And changing our terminology around this is important: using and instead of or. There’s always that grief of what we leave behind even though what ahead is exciting.

In the midst of transition, we feel excitement, joy and we feel fear, worry, and uncertainty.

What would you say to the person struggling with the challenging emotions? First, identify the different emotions. If they are feeling stuck in the challenging emotions, I would challenge them and describe that and instead of or dialectic we spoke about. Yes, the negative ones exist but what are some of the positives that might come out. I would help them find language to describe emotions and encourage them to place equal weight on the emotions. In my opinion, we go through the world with a narrative in our heads and we look for evidence to support that narrative. If you get fixed on thinking that the outcome will be terrible, you literally only see evidence that it’s going to be terrible. I deal with people who are just focused on the positive in the same way. Yes, it’s really exciting but there are probably going to be challenging moments that will occur along the way.

SKILLFULLY NAVIGATE

July 2021 | ABIDE

LIFESTYLE

There’s a trend that we have to be happy at all costs. Do you think that we have lost the value of lamenting because of the pressure to focus only on happiness? Yes, unfortunately it’s a by-product of toxic positivity found amongst the new generations. People are unable to articulate what they feel because we have not been sharing that fact that amidst moments of joy, moments of grief and difficulty also exists. And really without the grief or sadness you can’t really experience the joy or moments of happiness. You can’t always be happy. It’s just not realistic. And it takes a lot to describe that dialectic for people- for them to recognise that it’s abnormal to feel only positive emotions all the time. Sometimes, people just don’t have the language to identify those challenging emotions because they’ve been told that you should always feel happy. We feel joy in moments or sadness in moments but most of the time we exist somewhere in the middle. What are the things that you wished you knew when you were in your 20’s? Life is dynamic and it’s always changing. When I was 24, I felt this urgency to figure it all out. “What do I want to be?” and “Who do I want to be?” But the truth is, we have lots of time to figure it out. Figuring it out doesn’t happen by sitting down: it’s by life experience, trying things and using those experiences to inform our next step. Everything isn’t immediate. You will get there and you don’t know the path. It takes one step to show the next step.

The Ebbs and Flows

July 2021 | ABIDE

LIFESTYLE

SELF OVER Status

Intro: Michaela Parlett, creator of the Savvy Single course and host of Table for Two podcast, opens up about her journey of healing from relationship trauma to learning to prioritize herself over relationship status. INTERVIEWED BY JOY CATO

Repair

How do you feel God personally prepared you to start Savvy Single? Michaela Parlett: I got married I was in a verbally and a week after I graduated emotionally abusive college. I saw all the red flags of relationship, so my scars abuse, manipulation, narcissism, weren’t visible. They were on and gaslighting. I didn’t know the inside affecting my selfthat those were the words, but I worth and my confidence. knew in my gut that something They paralyzed me in so many was off. But, I also knew he ways. Finally, I got through that was a Christian and he was divorce and not long after, I very prominent in our church. found myself in a very similar I kept saying to myself, ‘but relationship. he’s a Christian.’ And then we got married and the abuse got worse over the years.

July 2021 | ABIDE

LIFESTYLE

When did you discover this pattern of toxic relationships? It wasn’t until I hired a life coach that I realized I was in another abusive relationship. I learned that you repeat what you don’t repair. Determined, I decided to take a season of life and repair my relationship with myself and with God. For about 3 years, I was intentional about my healing. Then one day, I had my ‘couch and wine moment’. I had dropped my daughter off at her dad’s for the weekend. I made myself dinner, poured myself a glass of wine, sat on the couch, and I had this...feeling. I realized, ‘oh my gosh, I am truly happy.’ That was shocking because I didn’t have the job I really wanted, I was still single, I wasn’t where I wanted to be financially, and my daughter was at her dad’s. It almost didn’t make sense that I was so happy. I journaled that night that I have all these different tools in my toolbelt. I concluded with wanting to teach women how to have that feeling of joy even when it doesn’t make sense according to the world’s standards.

What made you pursue divorce? You know when you’re at the end of something there tends to be the straw that broke the camel’s back? It was a Saturday morning. I had just made my ex-husband and 9-month old daughter breakfast. She was in her highchair eating pancakes. I had started cleaning the kitchen when my ex-husband came in and handed me his dirty dishes. He said, ‘Just make sure you don’t spill the bacon grease.’ I was like, “Okay.’ I was thinking that’s such a random thing. But what did I do? Carrying the pan, I tripped over the rug and spilled the bacon grease. Honestly, I was so afraid that he heard me trip that I was trying to clean everything up quickly. Suddenly, his feet came into my view as I was on my knees. I looked up at him and he had this look of total disgust on his face, like I was scum of the earth. He said, ‘You’re such a dumb broad. You never do anything right.’ At that moment, I felt very small and very insignificant. I thought, ‘He’s right. I’m so stupid. I can’t even clean up the way that he wants me to.’ Right away, it was as if God had walked into the room. It felt like He lifted my chin and said, ‘You are loved. You are valued. You are worthy. Stand up.’ I stood up, turned around, and locked eyes with my daughter’s. She was only 9 months and I thought, ‘this little girl has no idea how broken I am.’ Confidence is transferred. We can’t give our children something we don’t possess ourselves. I wanted my daughter to grow up to be a strong, confident woman. I wanted her to see that by example. After that, I was done with that marriage. July 2021 | ABIDE

LIFESTYLE

‘You are loved. You are valued. You are worthy. Stand up.’

What prompted you to launch Savvy Single? I lost my job in the beginning of the pandemic. I felt like God just took everything away from me. In that moment, I so vividly remember Him saying to me, ‘I didn’t take anything. I cleared the way.’ At that time, I had started writing a book called “Seek HIM, Not Him.” I asked God, ‘Do you want me to finish writing the book?’ All of a sudden, God deposited in my spirit the idea of turning the book into an online course where people don’t just read the words on the page, but where I can get in the muck and mire with them and walk them through what the book is about in real life and real time. That’s how it all got started.

What do you want to achieve through Savvy Single? I want to shift our focus in our single season from how to find a man to learning how to know yourself, understanding who you are and understanding whose you are. With that comes learning some skills! I think we romanticize marriage so much that we aren’t adequately prepared for what relationship or marriage involves. My goal is to provide women with a toolbelt for life, love and career so that they’re prepared to be the best version of themselves for when they take that step into marriage.

What would you say to someone who is tired of being alone and contemplating settling? When you find yourself settling, that’s when you know it’s time to not be in that relationship. Do the things that you’re waiting to do when you get married. As singles, we tend to live two dimensionally and think it’ll be three dimensional when we get married. No, live it now. I believe we were built to learn and grow. So, whenever you’re bored, try something new. I think you’ll find you’ll be happier not being in a relationship than settling. Real strength is not filling a void just because you’re lonely.

How can we be anchored in our relationships? Every relationship around you improves when the one within you improves. Oftentimes when we’re looking to improve our relationships, we tend to just think external. I would say, how’s your relationship with yourself? Is that anchored? How are your thoughts? How’s your quiet time? And how do you see you? July 2021 | ABIDE

HIGHLIGHTS

ABIDE Highlights

OUR 2021 GOAL: Like a contractor who builds a house on a solid foundation, we are using 2021 to build a strong foundation for ABIDE to grow upon. Through a quarterly magazine, monthly events and weekly blog articles, we strive to get in the muck of life with women and be a resource as they live out their faith in their everyday lives. Join us as we create, build and innovate! (www.abidemag.org) MEMBERSHIP To better cater to our community, we’ve created a membership plan called ABIDE exclusive. This all inclusive membership will put our quarterly events and quarterly magazine at a discounted rate, while also offering additional perks! As a member, you’ll have access to the ABIDE library filled with free downloadable resources and a member only newsletter. Become a member today for only $15 once a quarter by clicking here. EVENTS Masterclass: 5 Pillars of Finance Financial literacy is an important topic but for many millennials, knowing where or how to start can be overwhelming. In this presentation, debt-free money coach and founder of Millennial Money Guide, Ayana Campbell Smith, will cover 5 basic pillars of personal finance you need to understand to effectively manage your financial life. RSVP Here

JOIN THE TEAM Our mission is to help translate faith into the christian woman’s modern lifestyle. We place faith in the context of wellness, style, beauty, relationships, money and career and general lifestyle for the modern woman. As a member of our team, you’ll work with us to carry out this mission. All positions are on a volunteer basis. Apply Here.

Creative Director As the Creative Director, you will center on team management and provide creative vision and direction for photoshoots, marketing campaigns and advertisements. You will be involved with photo shots, styling, location of photoshoots, etc. This role requires being a “big picture” kind of thinker and cohesive branding/styling. You will utilize your design skills and the ability to think outside the box. Must be located in the South Central PA or Central MD area. Magazine/Blog Section Writers A a section writer for the magazine, you will have exceptional writing skill, the ability to match ABIDE Magazine’s tone of voice and be able to handle feedback on your work. You will have creativity on pitches that will attract and relate to our audience. You will have a specific interest in writing for one or more of our current sections (style & beauty, money & career, health & wellness, living & lifestyle, faith & religion).

Graphic Designer As the Graphic Designer, you will design graphics that fit well into ABIDE Magazine’s aesthetic. You will create numerous graphics for blog/magazine article content, promotional content and social media content. You will have great skills in graphic design software and creativity to design eye capturing graphics.

“The Sovereign Lord will show his justice to the nations of the world. Everyone will praise him! His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring, with plants springing up everywhere.”

Social Media Strategist As the Social Media Strategist, you will manage, create and publish original, high quality content on social media platforms that relates to the ABIDE audience. You will continue the established aesthetic for social media platforms ( or work to launch a better one). You will make sure our social media feed reflects ABIDE’s range of topics/mission statement. Photographer As the Photographer you will create eye capturing images for ABIDE magazine, promotional content and social media content. This role requires editorial photo taking skills, photo editing skills, creativity and the availability to travel a couple hours to photoshoot locations. Must be located in the South Central PA or Central MD area.

—ISAIAH 61: 11 (NLT)

July 2021 | ABIDE