Light and Darkness

Yeimy Beato

At the beginning of the school year, in some way, no one seemed to understand me. My dreams seemed farther than ever, and it seemed like I would never reach them, and less so where I was. Everything changed in the middle of the semester. I was on a plane to the U.S. I don’t know how it happened, but it’s a great way to make my dreams come true. It’s been a very difficult change, but they say that different is good. It’s been a challenge to learn English and have to live without my mom. In life I’ve learned that we have to keep going no matter what the circumstances are. In the end the best thing is that I’m in a place where I can achieve my dreams. Obviously it won’t be easy, but in the end the effort will be worth it or I hope it will, but I think it will be. These were my words at the beginning of the school year. I cried when I reread it because it filled me with nostalgia to see how much I’ve achieved. It seems like so long ago, but at the same time not long ago. The beginning of the year in the US was full of tears for me. The fear and darkness took over me and it seemed like I’d never see the sunshine again. One day I realized that to beat the darkness I’d have to accept the fact that the light might take a while, and the darkness wasn’t so bad. The light in the end was always there but I didn’t see it. The whole time my eyes were closed from fear. Fear from opening my eyes, but that’s not it, fear of becoming myself, fear of the language, fear of being judged, fear to accept myself as I am. I spend so much time thinking that the light could be the sun that I never thought that the light could be me. The light that I needed to

leave the darkness was me and I didn’t see it because I was afraid to accept the darkness, accept my flaws, accept that I needed the darkness to get to the light. The light isn’t always the sun, it can also be a star or the moon. Now that I am light, I am afraid to be dark. The school year is almost over, and I feel like it’s ending with me, too. This school year was full of challenges, fear, surprises, anxiety and panic, a little more than just light of darkness. I’m moving to another state and it fills me with fear and happiness. It’s like a roller coaster, a mountain of feelings that go up and down, turn around and stop suddenly. That’s how I feel. The school I’m in right now I don’t like 100%, but it’s helped me get used to the country and accept myself as I am. Before I wanted to leave the school because I hadn’t adapted, but now I feel attached to the school, and I can’t leave it. I’ve met a lot of people that are special to me, people that accept me as I am, and to be honest I’ve never met people before that didn’t judge me. These are people that I’ll always remember no matter where they are. These people helped me realize that I am light, that light that was missing in my life. I like the school I’ll be going to in September a lot because it has a ton of sports and activities, and they’re going to help me with the language. I’m afraid they won’t accept me in the school and I’ll become darkness again. I think I won’t be able to make friends or find people that will understand me. I know I’ll be okay but I still have the doubts that make me fear. I wrote this ultimately for those that suffer with depression or anxiety and also for those that have moved to another country or city and have to start all over. I want you

to know you’re not alone, and there are a lot of people all over the world going through the same thing. And if you need more support or want to know me you can visit my Youtube channel: Yeimy Maria.