Sounds of Freedom

for using their voice and their tools to shine a light on where injustices still

exist. My hope is that they find the freedom they deserve.”

— John Legend

This collection of stories written by sixty-five students at Manual Arts High School in South Central LA, was inspired by the sounds and lyrics that have sharpened visions of freedom throughout generations. In spirit with the Mississippi Freedom Schools of the 1960s, and their approach to invigorate critical and creative thinking by bringing music into curriculum, students were asked to write personal narratives guided by the question, “What makes you feel free?”

Using their own music selections, they wrote about how freedom impacts their lives. With their headphones on and their pencils moving to the beats of their songs, they delved into the past, present, and the future, to find freedom living in rhyme and across decades. This book resounds with their tenacious pursuits and visions.

SOUNDS OF Freedom: Beats on Concrete

“These students represent our hope for the future, and I commend them

SOUNDS OF Freedom: Beats on Concrete

Published by 826LA www.826LA.org

Written by the students of Manual Arts Senior High School

All proceeds from the sale of this book support the free student programming at 826LA.

with a foreword

by John Legend

ISBN 978-1-948644-32-7 1

Reprinted with permission from 826LA and 826 National.

Please do not distribute beyond USC Dornsife Writing 150 classes.

Title of the Chapter

The Freedom Mixtape

SOUNDS OF Freedom: Beats on Concrete

Written by the students of

Manual Arts Senior High School

with a foreword

by John Legend

This project was made possible in part by grants from the

All Ways Up Foundation, the Flourish Foundation, the Joan Leidy Foundation, the City of Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs, and the USC Good Neighbors Campaign.

The views expressed in this book are the authors’ and do

not necessarily reflect those of 826LA. We support student publishing and are thrilled you picked up this book.

Published April 2019 by 826LA Copyright 2019 All rights reserved by the authors and 826LA ISBN # 978-1-948644-32-7 First Edition

SOUNDS OF Freedom: Beats on Concrete

826LA in Mar Vista 12515 Venice Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90066 310.915.0200 826LA in Echo Park 1714 W Sunset Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90026 213.413.3388 www.826LA.org Design by verynice

Written by the students of

Manual Arts Senior High School

with a foreword

by John Legend

TABLE OF CONTENTS FREEDOM IN MEMORY I Know You by Jorge Manuel Torres Quintero 16 Without Freedom by Jesus Garcia Orozco 19 Beauty in the Struggle by Klarissa Moran 22 No Longer in Presence by J.J.R. 25 Forgiveness by Christian Solorzano 28 Run From Those Demons by Kevin Morales 31 Life Unexpected by Jair Solis 34 The Day I Saw my Mom After Seven Years by Cristal Ivonne Vela Pena 37

SDNUOS FO :modeerF etercnoC no staeB

Growing From the Memory by Adriana Pedroza Valdez 40 Standards Like Chains Shaunique Harrison 42 A Couple’s Connection to the Song by Krystal Ortiz 45 The Beat of My Life by Alexander Lorenzo 47 Music Heals: How I Walked Through Darkness

by Dream Acosta Lammey 50 Safes Get Cracked by Jaylen Michel 52 CF by Javier Martinez 55 Running for My Life by Natalie Melchor-Juarez 59 Clippers Dream by Shylin Hemphill 62 We Can Stay Friends by Chelsey Watson 63 ‘Gracias a Dios porque tengo salud’ by Francisco Diaz 66 God Gives Freedom by Jenny De Leon 69 Loving Who You Are by Yozabeth Navarrete 71 The Neverending War by Crystal Alonzo 74 Sacrifices for the Days that Passed by Victor Lemus 77

5

Losing You, Finding Me by Brandeaux Lazo 80

Before I Even Knew I Wasn’t Free by Reanna Polk 152

Memories from a Black Mustang by Daisy Morales 83

Whole Lotta Freedom by Luis Carpio 156

One Good Friendship by Monica Ramos 86 A Chicano’s Day by Brian Kumul 89 The Shell That Finally Broke Open by Alexa Velez 92 The Power of Speaking Up by Francis Romero 97

FREEDOM AND FUTURE Visions of Tomorrow: When All Our Children Are Free

by Tania Sanchez 162 Escaping the Pain by Jesus Concha 164

FREEDOM IN THE PRESENT

When I Stood Up for E.S.J.S. by Paulina Espinoza 166

Strong Like Nicki, Bright like Kehlani: Exploring Myself

by Tra’Nell Davis-Coles 104

First Call by Daniel Mendez 168

Are We Truly Free? by Anjelina Arroyo 108

Sometimes a Song Can Change Everything

by Christopher Ayala 171

Picking Life by Ramon Cisneros 111

The Walk to Peace by Alexander Guevara 173

Every Life is Worth Living by Heidi Chicas 114

What If by Carlos Odilon 176

Awake From What I Was Before by Anthony Melendez 116

What I Imagine by Juan Cayetano 179

A Day in the Life of a Rider by Bryan Ramos 120

Trusting by Powerful Y 181

What We Forgot by Francisco Pedro 122

Freedom Season by Randy Hernandez 183

Avoiding the Trap of Teen Pregnancy by Miscedes Paxton 125

Born to Be Free by Uriel Bautista 185

Pitching Curveballs to Expectations by Ryan Ruvulcaba 128

Feeling Powerless by Leslie Garcia 188

Musician Inspiration by Derick Howard 132

Necessities Over Wants by Kevin Ramos 191

Woke Up by Melvin De Leon 134

I’m Me, I Chill by Justin Berry 194

Finding Faith by Richard Mejia 137

Chrysalis by Fathima Alemayehu 197

Baby Steps Toward Independence

by Christopher Mares-Franco 140 Valuable Pain and Happiness by Shawnece Gipson 143 Faith in God for a Brighter Future by Dayri Perez 146

A Life of Understanding a Human Leads to Freedom

by Zenobia Clark-Welch 200 For a Reason by Mesean Green 203 Why Long for Change When You Can Create by Seth Arroyo 206

Half Story by Elizabeth Isidro 149

7

ForewOrd

By John Legend I grew up in Springfield, Ohio. It’s a blue-collar Midwestern town. Education

was always a priority for my family growing up. My parents home-schooled my siblings and me for several years during grade school, and they taught

us more than academics. They taught us about character, and about what it

meant to live a good life. Growing up in the Stephens’ home also meant that we all appreciated art, music, and creative endeavors from an early age. We had several instruments at home, and I fell in love with music.

When I was 10 years old, the world I knew started to fall apart. My maternal

grandmother passed away, devastating my family. My mother disappeared into over a decade of drugs and despair. I was confused and disoriented. I focused

on my academics and other activities. I’m fortunate to have had the success in my career and life.

I’m not sure, though, that this would have been possible without the love of my family, without the values instilled in me at a young age, and, notably, without

the invaluable teachers who were part of my journey. They saw potential in me

when I didn’t, and encouraged me to pursue my passions—those same passions that were cultivated at home and developed in my youth.

Because I write songs for a living, I think a lot about the influence I have as

a musician to encourage society to consider how we treat one another and

what we value. I’m grateful for the role creative writing has had in my life, and

moved to see its impact on the young writers of Manual Arts High School. Their

collection of beautiful stories is centered on freedom—a principle upheld in our nation as something accessible to everyone, but one that we know all too well

evades many. I am inspired by their stories. Each of them bravely recounts their realities of growing up in South Los Angeles, and share what freedom means to them. These students represent our hope for the future, and I commend them

for using their voice and their tools to shine a light on where injustices still exist.

My hope is that they find the freedom they deserve.

Students of Manual Arts High School, I thank each of you for sharing these with

the world. And thank you to the 826LA staff and volunteers who champion their work.

9

Introduction By the Student Editorial Board Alexander Lorenzo, Anjelina Arroyo, Brandeaux Lazo, Christopher Ayala,

Cristal Vela Peña, Daisy Morales, Derick Howard, Elizabeth Isidoro, Javier Martinez, Kevin Morales, Miscedes Paxton, Reanna Polk, and Yozabeth Navarette.

On good and bad days—we press play. On days we want to imagine a future

beyond our grades, drama, loss, or the pressures of making it—on days we can’t stop smiling, when nothing has killed our vibe—we press play. Our headphones fill with lyrics and beats that always catch what we’re feeling.

It takes courage to express ourselves, especially when we’ve learned to wear

our walls as easily as we carry our backpacks everyday. Sometimes, we wear

our headphones like armor. Letting you in on our playlist is like letting you into

our deepest emotions. Sharing what music flows through us is like opening up and showing you our hearts and what makes them beat, what’s broken them, and what has healed them.

During this project, we found the courage to say: we want to be free. We are free.

We will be free. We learned how we could use writing to determine our own freedom.

Each of us were asked to select one song that makes us feel free and let it

inspire our stories. Before we defined freedom for ourselves, we asked, “What

takes it away?” We learned about the Mississippi Freedom Schools of 1964 and

how music helped shape equality during a time where Jim Crow laws continued to segregate schools and public spaces, keeping Black and African American

communities from voting or accessing quality education. Students in the 1960s wrote about freedom as a way to fight against racism and oppression.

We listened to Nina Simone, Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar, and Public Enemy. We

noticed the legacy of chains that connected their music and discussed how each artist used words to break them.

Before we began the writing process, we sat in on a panel of previously

published authors from our school. They said they felt the same way as us in the beginning: nervous, unsure of why we had to do this, or worried it would

be too much work. We heard they went through a transformation after seeing

their writing published. Getting recognition helped them feel more confident as

11

students and more powerful in their voice. It helped them understand the power of telling their own story, instead of letting others tell it for them.

Then we began to write. We designed our own freedom, moving through the

past, the present, and the future to find it. It was hard work. We didn’t do it alone.

Tutors came in each week and listened to our ideas, helped give our stories

order, and motivated us when we felt like giving up. We learned that the writing process is filled with starts and stops, days where you just want to be done. We learned writing is all about persistence. Being a writer means you keep going.

We pushed through.

Freedom is pushing through. It is love or music. It is relief from the hustle, or

walking through gates that keep us contained. It is those days where we just get to chill. Freedom is opening up and feeling proud of ourselves and what we’ve been through. It is escaping oppressive systems that keep us down.

We’ve written freedom into the pages of this book. You can open up to any story to hear the sound of freedom. You can find the music that inspired each story on a Spotify playlist titled, “The Freedom Mixtape.” The mixtape spans across

genres and decades, from hip hop to corridos, to songs blasting from windows and streets throughout Los Angeles.

As you listen, we hope you imagine us sitting in class, at home, walking down the street with our earbuds in, tapping our feet, looking up and singing our freedom as we continue to walk towards it.

13

“My dad decided to turn on the radio and play our favorite genre, rancheras. ‘Estos Celos’

started playing, and me and dad started to sing

with a lot of emotion. We were singing it so

loud, my mom was laughing at us...before the

song ended, me and dad started to laugh.”

FREEDOM IN MEMORY

15

I Know You

Jorge Manuel Torres Quintero

Ever since I can remember, I have been fighting. The fights would be physical, mental, or emotional, and my fighting wouldn’t cease. The only form of

comfort I could find was in the company I kept. To me, home wasn’t really a place, but a collective of individuals. I was a fighter, so I surrounded myself

with fighters. I became part of a brotherhood who swore to fight alongside each other until the Lord decided our fight was over. Whenever we felt

weakened, we looked to one another for strength. Brotherhood seemed noble until I realized that the reason I felt so noble was because I was too much of a coward to truly look at myself in the mirror.

I looked to the people around me and told myself our way of life was honorable,

and that I was righteous. It wasn’t until I met good, healthy people who were truly living that I was able to see my chains and began to fight for my freedom.

My earliest memories are of the South Central two-bedroom house where I

lived alongside my mother, brother, and father. I also remember the constant aggressive arguing that occurred between the three of them, the sadness I felt, and the comfort my brother provided at the end of every day. I was full of love, and my brother was the person in the best position to help this love

grow. You can imagine the sadness I felt when I found out my brother had left the house and gone to live at the place where he worked. I had been left to

if everyone and everything I knew was worth holding on to, but, ironically,

continued to push away new people and experiences that could potentially show me the bigger picture. I subconsciously hated anything that I didn’t

understand, so I limited myself to living the same hardships every day. After nearly every single childhood friend I had lost his/her life or was put behind

bars, I had no one to truly confide in. My sophomore year in high school would prove to be the beginning of my fight for freedom.

I originally planned to spend my last three years of high school away from any

spotlight, keeping to myself. However, Chief Vernon Dayton, the JROTC instructor from my school, took notice of me and began persuading me to become more involved in the program. I eventually joined a number of teams, most notably

the armed drill team. I thought being a part of these teams would be a breeze,

but I had no idea how difficult it would become. Every day I would bump heads

with Chief, either because I would directly defy the program’s leaders because of my hostile demeanor, and/or because I always wanted to do what I wanted, how I wanted. He would throw me in scenarios and situations in which my

ideals would contradict each other, and I was forced to choose what was more important to me. For the longest time, I felt like Chief was purposely humiliating

me; in reality, he wanted to humble me. At the same time, he instilled discipline, leadership, and patience in me. Chief Dayton proved to be the father figure I

was missing, and he showed me that if I was going to fight forever, I might as

well fight for what was right. While men showed me what to fight for, another man showed me how to be at peace.

deal with the frightening clashes between my parents. The sadness eventually

grew into resentment towards my brother, then towards everything else. At the age of ten, I began leaving my house and searching for things to do around

the neighborhood. Soon after, I met a group of kids around my age who were also running from reality, but had found refuge from it in the leadership of young adults who grew up without any good guidance in life.

The more time I spent with these other children, the closer and more

comfortable we got with each other. The older ones taught us not only how to fend for ourselves, but also what to believe in: see no evil, hear no evil, speak

no evil; loyalty is everything; take what you want. We were taught that the only

way to be happy was to take happiness from other people, and we thought we would be fine. As we became older, however, the consequences of our actions became more severe, and lives were ruined, and even lost. I began to wonder

freedom in memory

17

Without Freedom Jesus Garcia Orozco

The song “Estos Celos” from Vicente Fernandez is basically talking about

losing someone’s love. “Estos Celos” translates to “This Jealousy.” Now that I am seventeen and understand what the song says, I feel that I can relate to every single word. “So late I understood, I had everything with you and I lost you...

this feeling of jealousy hurts me and drives me crazy,” are my favorite parts of the song. This song has a special touch to it. Even though when I first used to

sing it, I couldn’t relate to it or understand the words, it was still full of energy

which made me feel something I used to simply think was happiness, but later understood was freedom. .

Teens and jealousy really go together, don’t they? The song helps me release emotions that cannot easily get out. It also makes me feel free, making the

memories and the bond that I have with my father even stronger than before.

When I listen to this song, I am transported years back to when I was six years old.

Me and my dad would always be singing songs on the radio. We especially loved singing songs by Vicente Fernandez. I honestly do not know when I realized how much I liked singing with dad; but, I can say that singing with him, even if it was for just a moment, would make my day much happier.

I remember a time when me and both of my parents were in the car. We were going to the ranch of one of my aunties. It was a rainy day. We could hardly

see the sun, but I still remember that the horizon looked amazing. I also clearly

remember wearing clothes and boots suitable for the muddy ranch. My parents About the Author

Jorge Manuel Torres Quintero was born in South Central LA to a Mexican mother.

He attends Manual Arts High School and has been part of the JROTC program

and the Vocal Ensemble since the start of high school. After graduating, he will

be joining the Marine Corps as an infantryman. He enjoys reading serial novels

and hopes one day to become a novelist. He has been greatly influenced by his family’s values, such as loyalty and respect.

were wearing similar clothes. We wanted to enjoy the feeling of being on a ranch, even if it was raining. I remember that my dad decided to turn on the radio and

play our favorite genre, rancheras. “Estos Celos” started playing, and me and dad started to sing with a lot of emotion. We both knew the lyrics. We were singing it so loud that my mom was laughing at us. The best part is that, before the song ended, me and dad started to laugh, and we felt really close to each other.

I was close to my parents. I definitely needed them like every single child does.

Time passed by. A lot of different events occurred that simply created a physical

wall between me and dad. I am not saying that we both just stopped talking and became a stranger to the other. To keep it simple, there was just a physical wall between us. We could not spend as much time as we wanted with each other;

freedom in memory

19

we weren’t able to create more memories like before. I could not sing with him anymore, I couldn’t see him in the mornings and talk as we used to.

Life is often complicated and there’s always obstacles and situations that

separate us. I see him for short amounts of time and I do have fun with him.

The problem is that it’s not enough. You want more of it. Now imagine that you

honestly just don’t see the person and you cannot do anything about it. I feel that I had to go through a process of realizing that I simply was not able to have fun with dad—sing with him and enjoy his company, like I used to as a child.

What really helps me feel much better and brings back the memories and

happiness is the song, “Estos Celos.” The kind of happiness that makes you forget all your problems and focus on the positive side of everything. It takes me back to times when I felt happy and life was simple. Even if I do not have the chance

to create more memories, I am linked to those moments, thanks to this song. The bond between us has not gotten any weaker because of it. Listening to this song connects me to him, to my family, to all the moments we share together. Being

linked to all of those emotions and all of the great memories with my father, just

by listening to a song, really is freedom. Everything to me. Without freedom there is no happiness. Without freedom there is no peace and love. Without freedom we cannot be truly alive. Freedom—doing what I want and being with my loved ones. That is how I, Jesus Garcia, see freedom.

About the Author

Jesus Garcia was born in Los Angeles but spent his childhood in Mexico before moving back to South Central LA. At a young age, Jesus spent time discussing history with his brother, who taught him about unfairness in past events. This

holistic understanding of history inspired him to learn about crises around the

world. His understanding about those difficult situations makes him believe that everyone should be grateful for what they have.

freedom in memory

21

Beauty in the Struggle Klarissa Moran

As a child, I didn’t always feel free like I do now. Throughout my childhood,

there were many instances in which I felt like I was trapped inside my head.

The moments that remained in my head were moments involving my family.

In second grade, my parents began having issues with each other, and I just

remember hearing lots of yelling and crying. As a child, I didn’t have any say at all. I didn’t even fully understand what was going on; I just had many thoughts and questions that remained unsaid.

When my parents had had enough of arguing, my mom packed up our

belongings and we went to live with my grandma. We started doing things without both parents being present.

I remember that when my mom would take my siblings and I out to the mall, or

when my dad would take us to eat, separately, I would see examples of the “ideal,” family. The perfect family would have a mom, a dad, and children. Whenever we would be out without my mom or my dad, I would have a weird, sick feeling in

my stomach as if something wasn’t right. I remember having to hold back tears

noticed, so she asked me if anything was wrong. I had tears going down my face, so there was no way I could say it was nothing. So I finally ended up asking her why wasn’t I able to have what my sister is going to have. Since I was so young

around the time my parents decided to split, I never truly knew why until the day she told me. She made me realize that things truly do happen for a reason.

After having the talk with my mom, I had a talk with my dad. He basically told

me that it’s best to leave a situation if it isn’t making you as happy anymore. You shouldn’t feel like you have to stay in a situation just because there are other

people involved. Staying is sometimes worse than letting go. Telling my parents

how I felt was such a relieving moment, it seemed like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was no longer held down. I was free.

As a senior in high school, whenever I listen to J.Cole’s song, I get reminded of my parents. I still sometimes get sad about it, but only at first. Through the song, I

ended up reminding myself that “there’s no such thing as a life that’s better than yours.” You have to be grateful for what you have. Now that my parents are not together, we have more fun. Good things came from that situation. My dad is

happier, more outgoing and fun. My mom is happier as well. Another good thing that came from that was my youngest sister.

while we were out in public, especially in front of my two younger sisters. Being

the oldest, I felt like I had to put on a brave face all the time and keep my feelings inside...and I did, up until fifth grade.

Sometime in middle school, I felt as if I had distanced myself a lot from people.

I would just be alone in my room, mostly listening to music. I remember one of

the songs I had listened to and really enjoyed was J.Cole’s “Love Yourz.” The first

time I heard it, I didn’t really think much about what the song was about. But after listening to it several times I really understood the lyrics. Images of my parents

and our situation started coming up in my head. “Cause I’ve been strong so far, but I can feel my grip loosening.” I felt as if those words got stuck in my head because I never really let my feelings out in any way. It all changed after my youngest sister was born.

Years after my parents split, my mom met someone. Years later, my sister was

born. I was really excited about having another sibling.There came a time when I started to feel somewhat jealous; I started to think about how my sister would have both parents while growing up. I started acting different and my mom

freedom in memory

23

No Longer in Presence J.J.R.

Whenever I listen to my freedom song, it takes me back to when I was in middle

school and my cousin would come over to my house and play video games. We

would mostly play NBA 2K14 on my Xbox 360, which has the song “All of the Lights”

by Kanye West on its soundtrack. When I would listen to this song back then, when my cousin was alive, it would give me the freedom to express my problems with someone I could easily connect to.

Now, when I listen to this song, it’s not the same, because he’s no longer alive.

Hanging out with him made me feel free because it was during a time where I

had just lost another family member to heart problems. We would talk about stuff like sports, games, and things going on in the world.

Every time he would come over, it would put me in a good mood. He would give

me advice, not only how to play the game, but on life. He had gone through many

situations that I could learn from. He made many stupid decisions, such as joining a gang and getting a criminal record. But I looked past all of those decisions and still considered him my mentor. He taught me many valuable things, such as

what not to do when I first meet someone on the street, and how to respect my

elders. Whenever I would come to him with problems and ask how to solve them,

he would tell me casually while playing video games, so as not to overwhelm me.

He never wanted me to go down the same path as him, so he would try to steer me in the right direction.

About the Author

Klarissa Moran has Mexican and Guatemalan roots, but was born and raised

in Los Angeles. She enjoys going to Knotts Berry Farm and loves going on Ghost Rider. She played the violin for two years, but now spends time playing for her

school’s softball team. She enjoys going on roadtrips and has been to Tijuana,

Palm Springs, and Big Bear with her family. Klarissa also enjoys shopping at the mall and eating at restaurants such as Olive Garden and Lucille’s BBQ.

The mistake of joining a gang would later be the reason for his death. He was

killed while fixing his car and getting ready to pick up his son from school. I was

the only one home when it occurred. Being the first person to learn about this struck me badly, especially because I had lost not only one, but two family members in a span of three months. I became more and more depressed, realizing that my close ones were no longer in my life. I feel like it’s an

experience that the majority of black youth in America have to face at some point in life. That makes me think that it was beyond my power to try to fix

anything. But then I just sing the song to myself to remind myself of the good times we spent together. As I sing the song in my head, I no longer feel the freedom the way I used to when he was alive.

freedom in memory

25

To me, he was more than just a gang member. He was a loved one, a mentor, and an older brother that I never had. I miss his supportive presence in my life. I miss

being able to consult with a relative who understands and has been through my problems. We all have people we love who sometimes make mistakes. We also have the freedom to remember them for the good things that they did.

About the Author

J.J.R. was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. His family is from both Belize and Jamaica. He loves to watch and play basketball. His favorite team is the

Los Angeles Clippers. He loves to listen to old school rap, rock, and R&B. He loves watching Japanese wrestling, otherwise known as Puroresu, and would love to visit Japan one day to attend an event.

freedom in memory

27

Forgiveness

Christian Solorzano

Asking for forgiveness is the most valuable thing to me; to me, forgiveness is

the ultimate freedom. Forgiveness is a simple word instilled in many of us from childhood. Though only one essential ingredient to personal and relational

fulfillment, forgiveness runs hand-in-hand with grace and selflessness. Being selfless and acknowledging that I have done wrong is the first step towards

change. This change would hopefully lead me down a better path and lead to my inner freedom. The song that perfectly describes this is “Purpose” by Justin Bieber.

Whenever I listen to this lyric, “Look at all of these tears I’ve wept,” it hits me every time. My parents and the people closest to me were all, in a sense, disappointed in my past actions. However, now all I can ask for is forgiveness and for my

present actions to speak louder than words. This leads me to repentance. The

moment I started to realize this was when I finally went to church. I realized that my problem was my ego. A perfect quote from Wayne Dyer that describes me

is, “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion

become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false

idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”

not there, and my ego was so high in the air that I don’t know if anything can describe how I was feeling. All I know is that it was dopamine—a feeling of being on top of the world.

I won’t give the church all the credit for my change, but it was a key to helping me realize that I have not been in the right mindset. I cannot force everything in my life to happen. I should also become more considerate with the people closest to me, take their advice, and listen more instead of being super rebellious. Quoting the song “Purpose,”

If you don’t give it all you got, you’re only cheating yourself

Give it all you got, but if it ends up happening, it ends up happening That’s what it’s that’s what’s happening with me It’s like, God, I’m giving it all I got

Sometimes I’m weak and I’m gonna do it And it’s like I’m not giving myself grace

I’m just like understanding, that’s just how it is I understand that change doesn’t happen overnight and that the bonds that I

have severed over the years may not come together again, but at least I have

started, and realized that I have started. Now I work on my life with the guidance of the people closest to me without rebelling and living reckless. I’m also not

In order to truly understand how my big ego became my downfall, you have

seeking anything; I just work hard and move forward the right way.

to understand my past. As a young kid, I didn’t have any close friends. I was

overweight. I was an introvert and I still am. I thus sought attention from others by becoming someone who was “perfect,” the ideal kid. I trained myself to be “perfect” by working out to get my body right and studying hard to keep my

grades up. I also learned how to dance, cook, and I met lots and lots of people

along the way. Eventually, I found myself getting the life that I always wanted, in a way. I partied, like, every day, after working my body out by joining football, track, and dance, while also keeping my grades up. However, with all of this, nobody

could tell me what to do, especially my parents and the closest people around

me. I put a barrier around the people closest to me and was always asking myself why I still felt like I was missing something. Even though my inner demons were

telling me I was on the right path, something in me was always seeking a change within myself. Because, to me, close and intimate relationships are something very hard. When people saw me, they saw a kid who had a lot going for him,

and I never broke the smile. However, inside I ached for something that was

freedom in memory

29

Run From Those Demons Kevin Morales

Once I was stopped and searched by a police officer for looking a certain way.

I was twelve years old and this happened during the night in a small town in

Nevada. I was leaving an old movie theater and headed towards Jack (Jack In

The Box). It was close to midnight. At this time no one really walks in the streets. I

was wearing dark blue jeans, black shoes with white stripes, a dark grey hoodie, black gloves, and my backpack from school, which was also the color black. A

flash of light appeared from behind. It was the cops. Suddenly I was in a dream I once had of being in the 1960s, and it was all black and white.

I’m in a diner with a cup of coffee, no sugar. There’s three different versions of myself in this diner. One a businessman, another a lawyer, and the last one

a prisoner. No one is in the diner with us, apart from a female waiter who’s at the cash register, and she’s counting the bills. In come two police officers to

get a bite to eat, but then they see us and head over to ask about our business in Los Angeles.

The officers were yelling at me to stop, but I had headphones in my ears with

the volume raised, and couldn’t hear anything going on around me. I thought

about running from them and heading to an abandoned building. But instead of running, I stayed and tried not to be what they think of us—a brown kid looking to cause trouble in the night.

Alex Da Kid & Joseph Angel in “American Funeral,” said, “Please don’t give them About the Author

Christian Solorzano (Class of 2019) is a kid who has pride in playing football,

running track, dancing, and being a scholar. Christian was born and bred in LA, raised in a home with a lot of love and discipline, with two older brothers, who

went to college and helped him see the value in education from an early age.

However, he feels that there is still a lot of growing to do. He now acknowledges that he wants to go on to college and is looking forward to the challenge of a career in business marketing.

a reason—to spill blood on my sneakers.” An officer stepped out and flashed me with his flashlight. He asked me what I was doing walking this late in the night. I

told him I wasn’t “walking around” (with a sarcastic tone) but heading to Jack, so I

wouldn’t get picked up. He gave me a look of disbelief, as if he thought I was up to

no good. He then told me to put my head on the front of the car and my hands behind my back, so he could search me. I asked him why, but the officer didn’t

respond to the question. He looked at me like I was a criminal. At that moment, I felt as if my freedom was being taken away from me. Anger was starting to build in me, with a side of fear.

The lawyer tells them we’re here for a case of a prisoner. The two officers

laugh because they know who he’s talking about. One officer makes a racist

freedom in memory

31

joke,“watch out for those Aliens or they’ll steal from you and try to take your

wife.” My hands make a fist, wanting to punch them both. No one laughs in the diner except the two officers.

I did what he told me because I was only a twelve-year-old kid and wasn’t going to win this fight. “They just scared ‘cause they don’t understand us—try to beat us down when we try to stand up.” Another officer stepped out of the car to search

me, while the first checked my backpack. Before he searched it, he asked if I had anything he should know, that would get me in trouble. I said no. After searching me, I had to give them my name. The feeling of being a criminal was instilled in me. Unless I complied, they were going to place me under arrest for not

cooperating. I couldn’t do anything in that situation. So I gave them the info they wanted and headed on my way. Always wondering: What did I do wrong?

About the Author

Kevin Morales is a published author, and he is going to a four-year university to pursue his interest in psychology, with a focus on Family and Marriage

Counseling. His interest in psychology is heavily influenced by the racism his

parents faced when they immigrated from Mexico to the United States. On the weekends, he likes to take out his bike, exploring Los Angeles and beyond.

freedom in memory

33

Life Unexpected Jair Solis

There was a time when I was lost and confused about things. I didn’t know what

to do or where my mind was at times. About a year ago, my brother got a tumor in his head and was at the hospital for a long period of time. My parents would

stay with him all the time. That resulted in me not being able to stay after school

or hang out with my friends. I couldn’t really do anything anymore because I had to stay home and help take of my little brothers. I’m the oldest and it was more stressful on me. I still had to go to school, and I had lots of responsibilities, like

When I’m listening to music, it’s just me, myself, and my mind wandering off, not

thinking about anything, basically. Not thinking about responsibilities. In my eyes, that’s what freedom is to me. When someone feels free, not just physically, but

mentally and emotionally, too. If you think about that, it’s going to get you worried.

I don’t like getting worried. I wanted things to get better. And they did.

The song, “Alone” by Marshmello makes me feel all sorts of emotions. The song

says, “Nothing feels like home, I’m so alone trying to find my way back home to

you.” I find it similar in a way where, here I am lost and confused, trying to to find

my way back to before I was lost and confused about things happening in my life.

helping my brothers shower and change, taking them to school in the morning, and helping them with their homework. I have five siblings in total. One of my brothers, who had the tumor, was in the hospital, so that left four of my other

siblings at home. That is a lot of kids to take care of. My sister Emily was fourteen, so I didn’t really have to worry about her, but my other three siblings were little kids, so they were a handful.

In school, I wasn’t doing so good. I would always get there really late. My grades

started to slip, and before I knew it, I was failing the majority of my classes. I was more tired than usual. I didn’t have time to do my homework, and during school it was like my body was there, but my mind wasn’t. I would think a lot during class, so I didn’t do my work or the projects they assigned me. I didn’t do so good on my tests.

You don’t really think things like this can happen. It’s a possibility you don’t even

want to consider. No one wants to have cancer, or something deadly, something that’s lethal. But it can happen to anyone: a teenager, a child, an old person.

Experiencing something like that, thinking about my brother dying, it changed my mindset. I feel more prepared now.

After about six months, my brother started to get better. My mom came back

home. My dad came back home. They went back to work. I don’t have as many

responsibilities. I still have some, but not as many as before. My grades got better, they’re not great, but way better than before. And my brother and I are back to

annoying each other. If I had to say there was a family member I was closest to, it would be him.

freedom in memory

35

The Day I Saw my Mom After Seven Years Cristal Ivonne Vela Pena

When I was five years old, my mother came to the United States from Guatemala.

She left my sister and I because she had to. When my mother came to the

United States and left us alone in Guatemala, those days were the worst in my life. My mom was the only one who took care of us, and that’s why we suffered when she came to this country.

When I heard the song “Mi Vida Sin Ti” by Jesús Adrián Romero, I would think about my mother because she dedicated that song to me. The title means “my life

without you.” The song took me out of sadness and helped me to understand why my mom left. My mother is the most important thing for me and my sister.

In those moments when I did not have my mother with me, I felt a void in me. The

song makes me imagine many things, like having my mother when I had difficult

moments or beautiful ones with joy. When I heard the song, I closed my eyes and

saw something very beautiful in my mind—my mother was with me. I took care of myself, and she gave me love. She was with me in the bad and good times.

I imagined my mother when my eyes were closed, and I imagined a big family with a good house, a garden and animals, a united family. When I opened my eyes, I began to cry. I could not look at the woman who gave me life, the one who brought me to the world. The one who took care of me and the woman who gave her life for us.

About the Author

Jair Solis was born and raised in LA. Both of his parents were born in Mexico. He’s the oldest in his family. He loves playing video games, listening to music, and playing

soccer. He plays video games for the majority of the week from 4 PM to 7 PM, if he’s

not busy with schoolwork or going out with his friends. He sometimes plays soccer with friends at USC, even though he isn’t very good (but pretty decent).

Then those days of being sad and feeling alone passed. On June 20, 2002, my

birthday, my mother called my sister and me to tell us that soon we would be with her again; that news was the best. But I did not want to go to the United States. I

wanted her to come back to Guatemala. My sister wanted to come, and then my mom convinced me, and I came with my sister. When I arrived at the airport and

saw my mother for the first time in seven years, it was the best, because I saw my mother with with my uncles and aunts. I did not recognize her at first. It was very

big for me to see them because it was so nice to see those people you love again.

It was something very beautiful.

The relationship with my mother is different now because she is with me and

supports us with many things. The truth is that having your mother by your side

freedom in memory

37

is very beautiful. My mom is the best in the world. The relationship between my

mom, my sister, and I is very beautiful because we are three people in one. At first I could not fit into this country—it was very difficult for me. But always my mom was there to support me, and she would ask me to be with her and tell her my things. I will always be her child.

I lived seven years without being able to see my mother. Now when I hear the

song, I feel like my dream came true. My dream was to be reunited with my family because if you are with your family, nothing is missing. When I saw my mom for the first time, I hugged her very strong and kissed her. When I ran to hug her, I

closed my eyes, and in my mind I said I fulfilled my dream of seeing my mother.

The day my mom came to be with me, my life changed completely. At that time my life took a big turn because I felt good. Freedom means to express yourself

however you want. Freedom is a right that we all must have to express what we feel, think, and do. Freedom is my future.

Your hands open when I need a hug. Your heart knows when I need a friend. Your sensitive eyes harden when I need a lesson. Your strength and your love have

guided me through life and have given me the wings I needed. Derby Pena is the best mom in the world.

About the Author

Cristal Ivonne Vela Pena is a sixteen year old from Guatemala, who likes to spend time with family and go out with her boyfriend and friends from school. Her

hobbies are playing soccer for the school varsity team and listening to music.

She started playing soccer when she was eight years old. In the future, she wants to be a lawyer and help people in her community.

freedom in memory

39

Growing from the Memory Adriana Pedroza Valdez

Happiness. Support. Life. Through hardship, through pain, these are things my

will always be there for me. To me, freedom comes from having a supporter

that will never leave your side. Never think that you’ll be alone or won’t have a

supporter with you, whether it’s a happy or bad situation. Someone will always be by your side.

mom never stopped giving me. The summer before sixth grade, I got a pain in my stomach on the lower-right side. I woke up crying because the pain

was too much. I couldn’t handle it. My mom gave me medicine to try to calm the pain down and took me to see my doctor. He took tests and came back

with the results. He told my mom and I that I needed surgery immediately to

remove my appendix. My mom was scared, but I wasn’t. I didn’t know what the appendix was or why it needed to get surgery. The doctor broke it down for me. He told me not to worry about anything—I didn’t at the moment.

After getting to the hospital, we signed in, and they told us we needed to wait for a bed. While we were waiting, my anxiety was hitting me. I was thinking to myself, what if something really bad happens to me right now, while waiting, or what if the surgery goes wrong, things like that.

It was almost midnight, and after waiting about eleven hours to get a room and get checked by the doctor, my anxiety kind of went away. I was a little

worried, but not as much as before. She didn’t want to show it, but I knew my mom was really scared and worried.

The doctor that was supposed to give me the surgery wasn’t available until seven in the morning. We were okay with it because we didn’t know that anything bad could’ve happened, but then about half an hour later, the

doctor came in and said that the surgery had to happen right away. The

doctor and nurses got everything prepared, and they gave me anesthesia so that I would sleep during the surgery. I woke up about fifteen minutes

later and the surgery was done. After I woke up, the nurse came and told me the surgery went great. I thanked god.

This memory makes me feel freedom because I was able to continue with my

About the Author

life. My family was there for me through it. Them being there for me assured

Adriana Pedroza was born and raised in the loud city of Los Angeles, moving

can happen. While I was at the hospital, my family took pictures me of when

youngest of the daughters. She loves going to Santa Monica with her friends.

feel some type of way, they can show me these pictures and tell me that they

sometimes. Adriana’s piece describes what it means to be happy where you’re at.

freedom in memory

41

me that I would never be alone through all the happy and bad times that

around houses in South Central. Adriana is the fifth child of six children, the

I was sleeping, eating, and playing board games. So when I feel trapped or

Her friends describe her as talkative and outgoing, but she can be pretty shy She wants her readers to know that everything works out somehow.

Standards Like Chains Shaunique Harrison

As a kid, I was always supported by my family. There was never any doubt that I was gonna be the breadwinner in the family. My mother always used to joke

about how bossy and intelligent I was. I was a “nerd.” She would say that because I wasn’t your typical kid—the ones that went outside to play. I was the one who stayed in to read a book, practice my math, and even do my homework.

I felt different. I knew I was mature and more creative than my classmates. I

didn’t play with the other kids because I felt they were too childish. They were

only ten or eleven. I don’t know what was wrong with me then, but I didn’t think twice about it. I liked myself. I was friends with more adults than kids. Growing up, I was always a hard worker, and there were always kids who didn’t like me.

They called me arrogant. I admit I was, but I never took it seriously. I always

ignored them and kept doing what I loved: writing and teaching my younger

sibling, Marshawn, how to do things I knew he didn’t know how to do. I did what

I was destined to do—I helped people. I was so helpful that even when a person needed help with something small, like pouring a glass of water, I would rush up and do it without a second thought.

As I got older, I started listening to music. One day, a new song was

recommended to me called “I Rise Up” by Andra Day. I never paid any mind to the song. At first I thought it was sad. I couldn’t relate to it because I had never been

going to fail and not make it to the next grade level.

A teacher had never told me this before. Like I said, I was always the one who people used as a positive example. Hearing that made me feel like I wasn’t

going to pass. Even if he wasn’t talking to me directly, I still felt hurt about it.

Being doubted isn’t always something to take easily especially for an overly

sensitive girl just starting high school. This changed me. I’m not going to lie, I

took it to heart. I reacted to the situation in a negative way. I didn’t do my work

and ended up not passing. But as the days went on I began to think, “Why am I letting this teacher get to me? Why does he feel I’m not going to make it to the next grade level—because of the people I sit with?” That should not define me nor tell me where I’m heading in my future. After that, I stopped focusing on

what others said, including teachers, and began to do my thing. I worked and studied. Soon I managed to get a high C.

A lesson I wanna tell you guys is: never react to what people say in a negative way. When people doubt you, take it as motivation—not as a reason to stop or not keep going. Here at Manual Arts High School I’ve received a lot of

doubt and backlash for mistakes and decisions I’ve made. However, don’t let teachers, friends, administrators, family, or even students bring you down to the point where you give up on your education. My future will be bright. I’m going to become a future pediatrician or a businesswoman. You shouldn’t let people chain you to the standards they feel you are at. Make your own standards and live up to them.

doubted before. Like I said, as a kid I always had high standards for myself. No one could tell me anything; you could say my confidence was pretty high.

It all started at Manual Arts High School. I became the girl that everyone

doubted. I was the girl that everyone had their eyes on. It was hard to work

through something I’d never been through before. I became the type of girl that had to learn to deal with it.

The incident happened in ninth grade. I started high school a month or two late because I didn’t have the right paperwork to attend Manual Arts High

School. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t attend any school until I came up with

that paperwork. I was sitting with a bad group of kids—at the time I didn’t know they were in the category of “loud” and “disrespectful.” They were always loud,

and one day our teacher got mad and told every single one of us that we were

freedom in memory

43

A Couple’s Connection to the Song Krystal Ortiz

“Butterflies” by Queen Naija connects to my life because I have gone through

feeling hurt and thinking I couldn’t find anyone who was going to treat me the

right way. In the song, she feels hurt and she finds someone. She doesn’t want to put herself out there because she’s scared, but when she’s around that person,

she feels safe and happy. It connects to freedom in my community because love

can set you free.

A boy and a girl have feelings for each other, but they don’t know what to do

because they live miles and miles away from each other. The boy always makes

the girl feel safe. She smiles from ear to ear when she’s around him. They both

trust each other with anything, and they give each other advice when they need

it. They get to see each other, but not often. When they see each other, they try to

make memories, such as sitting down to watch movies, going out for drives, or

going to eat. They can at least have those memories when they are not together.

They text here and there because they both are busy with school. The boy is busy with the thing he wants to do when he leaves high school. When they get the

chance to talk, they talk.

This story relates to freedom because just imagine what can happen. Whatever happens in the end, it’s always good. They can end up going out and if that

doesn’t work out, they will always remain friends no matter what. They told each

other they would always stay friends if it didn’t work out. They don’t want to lose About the Author

Shaunique Harrison is a hardworking and positive role model for her brothers and sister. She was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, in South Central. She likes writing and reading, that’s why English is sometimes her favorite subject.

the good friendship that they have right now.

Love can set you free. It was June. It was hot, but it felt like the day was just

getting started. The girl was waiting for that day for what seemed like months.

She felt like she could finally smile, set her mind loose, away from Expo Street.

When she got there, she was just waiting. She felt worried at first. Texting her friend as she waited for the boy to show up. The last time she saw him was

December. That day it was raining, but the surprise of his visit made her cry.

Each time the boy visits, the world feels free. Nothing can get in their way. They

are free in a way where they feel safe from their family and life problems. They

are always smiling, in a good mood, ear-to-ear happiness. The girl feels loved by the boy, her friend, and that’s enough.

freedom in memory

45

The Beat of My Life Alexander Lorenzo

Last year I was driving, and a devastating event happened. I was fifteen at the

time, less confident, and new to things, which made me not think clearly. I was

running an errand with my dad at an office on Florence. My dad came out of the building and I asked him if I could drive home. He agreed, so I hopped in front of

the wheel of his navy Nissan Murano. I had been driving for almost a year at that time, and I was comfortable with everything. As I was driving home, my dad was

telling me that I should get a driver’s license as soon as possible. I got to the street with our house and started to slow down. I turned on my signal to show that I was

going right to go in the driveway. All of a sudden, a gray minivan coming fast from behind us sideswiped the passenger side where my dad was sitting.

Afterwards, the lady in the minivan called the police. She claimed that I hit

her car, which was not the case. When the police arrived, my dad and I were nervous because I was underage and he shouldn’t have let me drive. The

officer came towards me and asked me to show some ID, so I did, and then

he went to ask the lady for her ID and license. Then, the officer went around

the neighborhood trying to find evidence or witnesses to ask if they saw what had happened. A neighbor from my block came out and told him that he had cameras and showed the officer what happened.

As the officer was looking at the footage, I went to go sit down on the steps of my

porch and think about what was going to happen. A song playing in the distance caught my attention so I began listening to it; the song was “White Iverson” by About the Author

Krystal Ortiz was born and raised in South Central but moved to Watts last year.

She was born at Kaiser Permanente on May 26, 2002. She’s half Mexican

and half Salvadoran. She enjoys hanging out with her brother, cousins and

aunt; they go to Del Amo Mall most weekends or on vacations to Arizona and

Post Malone. It helped me because it made me feel calm and see what was going on. The beat that I heard was mostly bass, which was a normal beat that made my adrenaline slow down and think things through properly. When the officer

returned, he told me and my dad that it wasn’t our fault. Even so, I got a fine and I was not permitted to get a license for a year.

Tijuana. She enjoys chismeando with them anywhere. Krystal is proud of how

Being calm is a sort of freedom to me. Music helps me relax and think through

one of them graduated high school, yet they push her to do her best because

doesn’t have to be physical stress, it can be emotional stress. At the time

she was raised because neither one of her parents went to college and only

they know that she can do it. She loves music, her family, and Vans. She has a great-grandma that moved here from Merida, Yucatan; she loves her with all her heart and would do anything for her.

freedom in memory

all the things that go on in my life. When I’m calm, I am free of all stress. It

of the accident, sitting on the steps, I felt both physical and mental stress because I was scared. Music affects me because it helps me loosen up

and see everything in a whole different way. I believe that every song has a

47

different type of feeling for me. There are times where music makes me feel great and times when it makes me think about things.

Music can teach me how to control myself emotionally or physically, but can also change the way I interact with people and connect me to them. It has helped

show me what happens in the real world and what problems go around. When I listen to music, I am able to hear the experiences of other people in the world. It

puts me in a state of mind that allows me to understand them and feel how I am doing in general. I think music for me is like freedom because it releases all the

bad vibes that go through my body. Listening to music also gives me a chance to understand the world and see the big picture more clearly. The way I feel or see freedom without music is different than how I feel with music in the world.

About the Author

Alexander Lorenzo was born in Los Angeles, California and was raised in South

Central. This is the first time Alex has published a narrative with 826LA. He values the importance of his brother and five sisters. He never forgets his family’s roots

from Guatemala. He is a quick learner. Alex likes to listen to all types of music and also likes to play guitar. His goal in the future is to graduate and go to college.

freedom in memory

49

Music Heals: How I Walked Through Darkness Dream Acosta Lammey

My mom noticed and started telling me to go out and have fun. My dad didn’t know about it, so he didn’t really know there was a difference. I closed off

my family for a while. I spent most of my time in my room sleeping. Most of

the time, I pretended I did not care about what happened, when I really did.

To let go of what happened, I started listening to different genres of music.

I was once a happy person in a friendship. This friendship with Susan made life fun

When I listened to Arctic Monkeys, it made me feel calmer and relaxed. I could

with this friend made me feel better, like I could deal with my problems later.

my younger cousin Tiffany. Tiffany and I used to fight a lot, but connected

I could never forget all the memories we had together. One time, Susan and I

her house, and eating ramen with our moms at Orochon. One person I knew I

mall, shopped at random stores, and ate Chick-fil-A at the food court together.

her. We got closer when she started going to my school, Manual Arts High

grade. We cheered on the same team. She was always spending the night at

me release a lot of anger I had bottled up.

she was her own daughter. I saw her like a cousin.

After everything, I finally felt free and okay. I was no longer consumed by

But then, something bad happened. Two of my best friends, Susan and Lisa

someone to help him, and at one point, I was needing that. That is where

We did something and got in trouble for it. Lisa’s mom told my mom. My mom

before. I became happier and excited about life. I hope people learn that toxic

allowed me to do that. Lisa stopped talking to me. At the end of summer, I asked

come later in life. You just have to wait and focus on yourself.

and okay. I was going through some teenage problems and feeling sad, so being

finally start enjoying something in my life. I also enjoyed hanging out with

through K-pop which made us closer. We started hanging out more, going to

went on a adventure and took the bus to a couple places. We went to the Del Amo

could open up to was my cousin Molly; she was always there when I needed

We were once a part of each other’s families. We’d known each other since fourth

School. When we were together, I knew I could talk about anything. She helped

my house when her mom would go out of town. My mom treated Susan like

this sadness that controlled me. Shawn Mendes talks about him needing

(whom I had known since the seventh grade) and I got into a big argument.

music had become a way to express myself that I have never experienced

told Susan’s mom. Susan’s mom got mad at my mom because she thought she

friendships are bad for your health. You should just let them go. Friends can

Lisa if she still liked me and she said she didn’t trust me. I was hurt. I put Susan and Lisa in a group chat together and texted them a big ol’ sappy paragraph about

how much I loved them and didn’t want to lose them. Then Lisa said, “Oh no, it’s ok.

We can still patch it up.” Susan started going in about the whole thing and how

our friendship was over. I cried. And then I blocked them. You know the song “In My Blood” by Shawn Mendes, the Canadian pop singer, where he talks about how he feels the walls caving in? That is exactly how I felt.

My confidence went downhill and I started having anxiety about being alone.

About the Author

I was afraid to make new friends. I stopped trusting people. Most of the time, I

Dream Acosta Lammey was born and raised in Los Angeles and is sixteen years

out. I used to wear good clothes from Zara that were more expensive and

children. Her favorite place in LA is her home because she loves sleeping a lot.

getting dressed up. I didn’t need to get dressed up for anyone. I like my style

her readers to feel that even though things feel bad now, everything will get

was alone. I stayed in my bed and only talked to a few people. I stopped going

old. Dream wants to become a child psychologist because she likes working with

fashionable. Now, I wear simple stuff from Forever 21. I stopped caring about

She has always been the calm and rational person in her family. Dream wants

now, but I wish I was more open.

better at the end of the day.

freedom in memory

51

Safes Get Cracked Jaylen Michel

with friends or even by myself. I try not to attract too much attention and always act as if I have an eye in the back of my head.

I was around fourteen years old, and I had just gotten my braces off. It was the

“Como Antes” makes me think of freedom because it helps me remember how

went out to the movies late at night, around 11 PM, in classic Los Angeles weather

as you mature and transition into adulthood, you have to change how you act in

we didn’t want to be home and my cousin got his driver’s license. We arrived at

aware that anything could happen.

friend noticed that another group was staring and mumbling words under their

These events have had a huge impact on me, from my uncles telling me how

as soon as we realized it was about us, but we had to remember that we paid for

conflict. I personally take my elders’ advice seriously because they have lived

it wouldn’t be a scuffle, it was going to be a full-on brawl. So we made a decision;

I am always conscious of what could happen. It’s not paranoia, I just want

the things they were doing and saying.

dangerous.” It used to be “stay safe.” They don’t say, “stay safe,” anymore

first Saturday of summer break, and I was with my cousins and family friends. We

it was like when I was a kid and how I could act freely. This song shows me how

at around eighty degrees. We all went to the Culver City movie theater because

certain situations. In public, you have to be cautious of your surroundings and be

the movie theater and automatically realized that something was off. My family breath. We all clicked and knew that it was about us. Everybody was ready to fight

I have to watch my back and always be alert, to me personally experiencing

our movie tickets and the movie was starting soon. We realized if we were to fight,

through the rough transitions and know the consequences that wait ahead.

if they were still there after the movie was over, we would confront them about

to be prepared and ready. “Como Antes” shows how I’m supposed to “stay because safes get cracked.

Lo and behold, they were hanging out at the same place we saw them at. We

didn’t sidetrack or beat around the bush, we marched as quick as we could over there and asked, “ So what’s the deal then?” One of them threw a punch, but it

was a lousy punch, and it missed my cousin by a mile. Hell began to break loose.

It was a group of ten people fighting, and I was lucky enough to fight someone

around my height, but he was quickly slammed to the floor by my family friend. I was too focused on my own separate fight to realize what was happening. I look over and my family friend is yelling at me to stand back and not to fight. Blood

was dripping from his nose. I look to see everybody else fighting, and I manage to

watch the person who he’s going against getting punched in the jaw. The kid that was slammed to the floor stood up with a knot on his left eye—he realized they shouldn’t have started something. He ran off trying to convince the rest of his

friends that he was hurt bad and didn’t want to fight anymore. They all managed to leave in time before getting beat on more.

The song “Como Antes” (“Like Before”) applies to me in this situation because I’m not how I was before. I’m now conscious and always aware that something can happen in a split second. When I was a kid, I would never encounter this type of situation, but now, as I’m maturing, I realize how rough transitioning into adult life can be. The chorus part of the song says, “Ya nada es como antes,” which

translates to “nothing is how it used to be.” This applies to how I act when I go out

freedom in memory

53

CF

Javier Martinez

In September of 2012, I had a friend who was more than just a friend to me.

He was a brother. Not by blood, but by bond. We had known each other since kindergarten and had always been the closest of friends. Not only that, but

we were known as the “bad kids” in our school. The ones that always got into

trouble and had a passion for looking for a fight. Looking back at it, it felt more like a curse. Back then we only looked out for our friends who were being bullied or messed with by kids way older than us.

Unfortunately good things such as friendships can become disaster with a

heartbreaking end. Picture this: it’s a cool September month and sixth graders are getting the hang of a middle-schooler’s lifestyle. My Close Friend (CF) and

I are going to class regularly without getting into any mischief and all is good.

Suddenly things change. As the days go by, I start to notice CF not acting the same. Typically he always had an energetic tone with a serious mindset and

was rarely ever quiet, since he always had something on his mind that he just had to say.

I remember him coming to school and having this odd smell on him that could be smelled from across the room. At first I didn’t really question it. We both

had a habit of staying out late when we just wanted to be left alone to relax,

to keep our minds straight, and focus on our school work. Because of this we didn’t shower at times. After it became too consistent, I started to question

him. I had asked CF, “Is everything is okay?” and if he needed a place to shower About the Author

Jaylen Michel was born and raised in Los Angeles. He comes from South Central and wouldn’t want to go anywhere else; he thinks it’s the perfect place to have

adventures with his friends. He also loves how there are different cultural districts in Los Angeles to explore, like Chinatown and Little Tokyo. Jaylen is strongly tied to his Mexican roots and enjoys everything about it, especially tacos.

or crash at. CF said, “Nah dude, I’m alright, you worry too much,” with a facial expression that looked almost dead. After we had that conversation I grew

more and more suspicious of him and thought he was in some sort of trouble.

I felt like he was trying to hide something from me, so I decided to follow him

for a couple of days to see what was up. So every day after school I would say, “See ya,” and tell him I was going home. Then I’d put on a different hoodie and walk on the opposite sidewalk so he wouldn’t notice. Now CF wasn’t dumb,

but he sure was blind—we both hated wearing our glasses with a passion. As I continued to follow him, I always saw him enter this alley with a dead end.

What he did there gave me the most shocking revelation that I have ever had in my pre-teen-hood.

freedom in memory

55

With my own eyes, I see CF with a bag of pills, two cartons of cigarettes, and

“Famous Last Words” still playing in the background, we kept at it. We both

dumpster. I didn’t confront him on the spot, since I believed he was just going

fight we had ever had. It was heartbreaking. It only ended when we tired

a bunch of Venom Energy drinks, just sitting there in the alley behind the

to tell me about it when he felt he was ready. CF and I had this friendship code.

It involved not keeping secrets from each other. And if he was in a fight, I would have to be in the same fight with him. We refused to leave each other alone to fight for ourselves because we were brothers in arms.

A few months passed since I had seen him. He had yet to say a word about it to me. By that time he looked even deader than before. His young baby face was now covered with wrinkles upon wrinkles and his teeth looked almost

nonexistent. The day I confronted him about his drug-taking habit was at the beginning of spring break of 2013. We were in our usual hangout spot—an old

warehouse that his uncle owned and was okay with us using it as our own. This was the place that we always went to when we wanted to be away from our families.

It was a cool Monday night and we were doing nothing at all. We were just on the couches listening to music and on our phones. Being your typical

middle school emos that we were at the time, we blasted the whole “The Black Parade” album on a small beat-up stereo we had set up on a old little coffee table at the center of both couches. If it wasn’t for music, the room would’ve been in complete dead silence. We were twelve songs into the album. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Without any type of warning, temptation just got the best of me. I stopped the music right before the chorus of song thirteen started to play. I was upset. I

was upset that I had yet to say a word about the elephant in the room. At first I tried to take a calm approach, so I was asking a lot of indirect questions, but when he realized what I was trying to hint at, he started to ignore me and just

look at his phone. I could tell that CF was very irritated, but I wanted to get the

fought each other with all our hearts. It was the first emotional and physical ourselves out. We fell onto the floor and landed on our backs. Once on the

floor, we just looked dead at the ceiling and thought about our actions—”How did we end up like this?” What kept us going was the adrenaline that was

rushing through our heads. We both knew that as we were breathing heavily on the floor. It felt almost like a scene from the movies or like a video game fight with the music in the background and the punches flying around the

building. Once I was finally able to get back up, I grabbed my stuff and left the building, without a word or a thought. After that emotional chain of events, we never spoke or saw each other ever again. It was like we had just made each other up. We quickly went M.I.A. on each other, which, I believe, was for the better.

Now every time I hear “Famous Last Words” by My Chemical Romance, all I can think of is CF and the fight that we had. Now when I hear this iconic

song, it gives me the sudden pleasure of freedom. As weird as it sounds, it

gives me freedom because it signifies an end of a key defining era that gave me the mindset I have today. It has given me the biggest confidence boost, more than any other song or person will ever give me. By confidence boost I mean it gave me the confidence I needed to walk away from a certain

situation or environment that was unhealthy. That’s the freedom it gives me.

It wasn’t just the song that gave me this pleasure of freedom, but also the

actions connected to the song. Leaving CF in the past has helped me grow as a person; it helped me understand a toxic situation and get a grasp of how someone’s behavior can shift due to toxic habits. Friendship doesn’t

always last forever, but the hurt that friendships inflict on you can be heartshattering.

information that I wanted with a passion. I wanted to know if there was a way I could help him. The more he ignored me, the angier I got. Out of anger and

rage, I kicked the coffee table. It flipped on its side and dropped the stereo on the floor. Once the stereo hit the floor, it turned on and began playing song

thirteen again—“Famous Last Words” by My Chemical Romance—on repeat.

I grabbed the collar of his black hoodie and made CF look at me. The only

thing he told me was, “Leave it alone, I know what I’m doing!” After he said that sentence, we started to have an all-out fight throughout the warehouse. With

freedom in memory

57

Running For My Life Natalie Melchor-Juarez

The alarm rang. I checked the clock, and it was 5:30 AM. I didn’t want to get up, but I had to. I needed to get ready for my big race. I was running the LA Marathon. I

got to school and left with my Students Run LA (SRLA) peers and coaches, and we arrived at Dodger Stadium. I was anxious to start, not because I was finally going to run the marathon, but because my knee was hurting. I wanted to get it over

with, but at the same time, I felt like I wasn’t ready to run a lot of miles. I knew that I’d been practicing for this day. When I was at the starting line, my heart started to skip a beat, but I knew I couldn’t give up, and I knew I had to push through to

get to the finish line, which would set me free. At the starting line, I was with my

friends. We always run together, and we motivate each other to not give up, and to keep going even if we feel pain.

While we were running, we started talking about how it’s been fun running with each other and how we’ve been looking forward to this day. We continued

running through Downtown LA, passing Sunset Blvd and the Hollywood Walk of Fame. People were cheering and motivating everyone to keep running. People gave us fruits, drinks, or energizers. We were getting to our sixteenth mile and I

was really tired. My right knee started to hurt a lot. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be running because my orthopedic said I had overused my knee, but I didn’t listen.

I told myself, “I can’t just give up. I’ve been practicing for the marathon.” My knee

was hurting a lot, and I couldn’t bend it. I couldn’t keep running or walking, so my

friend and I both sat down. We were both exhausted and I sat on the floor thinking about my decision. Did I make the right decision?

About the Author

Javier Martinez was born in Michoacán, Mexico on April 23, 2000, to a single

mother with an older daughter named Yanzehiri. From hearing unfinished stories that both his mother and sister told him about his father, he grew a passion

Then I thought to myself, if I didn’t finish, no one else would do it for me.

Achieving a goal set by myself makes me feel proud because I prove to myself that I’m capable of taking control of my own life.

for discovering what happens next. With little to no knowledge of what exactly

So I didn’t give up. I couldn’t keep my friend from running either, so I got up and

together, he’s begun to write his own stories with his own endings. Javier knows

your all. I started thinking back to the day when I told the coach that I wanted to

happened, he has only his imagination to help him. But instead of piecing things that this is a gift, and went the extra mile by even creating his own online alias known as “Heartsight.”

told myself that anything is possible if you put your mind to it, and if you give it

join SRLA; I wanted to try something new. It’s something I can actually talk about

and tell people the amount of effort I put into it. I kept on running because I knew

my family was waiting for me at the finish line. Also I didn’t want to get left behind by teammates and coaches. As I was getting to the twenty-second mile, I felt

freedom in memory

59

a bit of relief because I was so close to the finish line. I couldn’t keep running, so I

started walking fast. I tried walking as fast as I could, but it felt like an eternity, as

if I wasn’t getting anywhere. However, I couldn’t let my feet and my knee stop me from getting to the finish line. I didn’t want to just give up because it was my last race.

Getting to the twenty-sixth mile felt good. I knew I was finally getting through it, and I knew I’d get a medal. I was excited to get it. My body felt weak; I couldn’t

even walk after, and I actually ended up crying. I was, like, a hundred feet away from the finish line when I got a cramp in my knee. I kept running, even if it was

hurting. Everyone was there watching, and it was embarrassing. It wasn’t just my family, BUT people I didn’t even know, and I didn’t want them to see me walking.

I felt proud of myself for getting it done. I received the medal and did not die in

the race. Running helps with health. if I didn’t run, I wouldn’t do anything else. It’s better than being lazy and just staying at home.

I felt proud, and I know my family felt proud of me because they kept saying it.

And they thanked God that I didn’t die that day. My mom didn’t want me to run the marathon because of my knee, but she was proud of me. She kept putting it all

over Facebook, and she kept talking about it even though I was already done. I was happy and embarrassed at the same time because of my mom’s Facebook posts.

At the end of the day, I felt free because I crossed the finish line safely and

accomplished my goal. I also felt free because this was a decision I made for

myself and something I could do on my own. After the marathon, I proved to my parents that I could actually take care of myself and be responsible. Whenever

I’m trapped in a difficult situation, I think of running and the feeling it gives to me.

Running takes my mind off of stress and gives me energy. Running makes me feel free because it’s fully in my control.

About the Author

Natalie Melchor is a seventeen-year-old girl, born and raised in Los Angeles,

California, although her parents are Guatemalan and Salvadoran. She is the

second child of three in her family. Natalie has been a runner at Manual Arts High School for two years, where she runs cross-country and marathons. In that time she’s run fourteen races, including the LA Marathon. She has been passionate

about becoming a pediatrician since age eleven and hopes to work at a hospital to help children. In her free time, Natalie gets on Netflix and watches Naruto, Soul Eater, or Disney movies all night long.

freedom in memory

61

Clippers Dream

We Can Stay Friends

Shylin Hemphill

Chelsey Watson

This particular song isn’t my favorite, but it does bring back memories whenever

The best thing for you to do in life is to move on. What do you mean by that, you

remix of “Rack City” by Tyga, called “Lob City.” To this day, I have never had a song

thing. When you do your own thing, you can feel so free. You shouldn’t want to

I think about it or hear it. I recall being in the fifth grade when I first heard the

capture my attention the way this song did. At the moment I was only a young

boy, and my perspective on life, and the way I reacted to certain situations, was

very childish. After hearing that song, I could honestly say, that not only the way I

may ask? What I mean is to live life to the fullest and to focus on doing your own depend on somebody else to do things for you. You shouldn’t want to feel like you need to have somebody. Just move on and let things vibe.

viewed things, but my whole outlook on life, changed.

It was a guy named Amir. I met him on Instagram. It all started when he liked my

During the period of time between 2011 and 2013, the Los Angeles Clippers were

pretty close at a fast rate. There’s a saying people say: “It is a small world we live

huge in the NBA, and they were emerging as the best team in all of Los Angeles.

The song, to me, is a tribute to the Lob City era of the Clippers and what they were able to accomplish during those years in the NBA. Me, myself, I am a huge Clipper fan, and I got to witness all of those crazy moments during the Lob City era. The Lob City era made it cool to be Clipper fan, and the “Lob City” song by Tyga was just the icing on the cake.

“To be honest” post. I never knew him, but I decided to send him a text. We got

in.” It’s true. I have two friends who know Amir and they call him “Brother” because they all grew up together. Their names are David and Justin. I was actually

shocked at the fact that he knew them because, in my mind, I would’ve never thought he knew any of my friends.

So, we started talking more and more and got to know each other better. It was

getting to the point where I started to like him. I’m the type of person who doesn’t like a lot of people, so this was very rare for me. The more we talked, the more I

started to like him. I am an honest person. I will tell you anything based on how I feel because, why not? You only live once. I told Amir that I liked him and he felt

the same way. Amir and I felt like we were getting serious. I felt like he was the only person in the world.

Then it all went down. Females don’t get that guys will tell you anything you want to hear just to keep you around. Amir and I were talking for a good month until

everything went left. He texted me saying how, “he needed to focus on himself.”

All females know when a guy texts you that, there’s another girl around. I was hurt.

I was talking so highly of him, then he let me down. I can be nonchalant about certain things, so even in that situation, I was nonchalant about it.

I stopped talking to Amir after he told me. Weeks later, he and I were texting about the situation. He told me the truth. The truth was that he wanted to stop talking

to me because he got back together with his “first love” and he felt like we should be friends. I got so angry at that moment. However, I’m not mad that he actually told me the truth. I was mad about how he technically lied and was leading me

on for a month until he got back with his first love. It wasn’t really hard to move on

freedom in memory

63

because we didn’t have nothing serious, but I felt pretty bad about it. However, Amir and I became close friends and it was no more. We might’ve flirted here

and there, but it was nothing more. We became mature about the situation and decided we can stay friends.

I feel free now because I am independent. It’s not even hard. I have to say, I

was hurt when it ended. But I am not going to show it. Everybody goes through this. It’s life. If you show the person who hurts you that you are hurt, he will take advantage of you. So I will show him that I don’t care. I did not feel free during

that time. I was overwhelmed, I did not even feel like myself. After I realized I was

played, I decided to be on my own. I like that. To be on my own. Me—I like to have

my personal space and time. That’s freedom for me. I am honest. God makes me strong. I am a strong woman because I know better.

freedom in memory

65

‘Gracias a Dios porque tengo salud’ Francisco Diaz

About a year ago, I was involved in a physical altercation. On this day, a group of friends and I decided to go for some food after school. The walk was long

to the local hamburger spot, but the wait was worth it. Once it was time to eat, the energy began to shift and the room got quiet. It was time to leave. We said

our goodbyes and parted ways. My friend and I were walking towards the

direction of the bus stop when we were confronted. I realized it was a group

of people who had a lot of hatred towards us. I knew a problem was going

“Gracias a Dios porque tengo salud.” This line from the song “Estamos Bien” by

Bad Bunny stuck out and really connected with my certain situation because it

explains how even with great danger, I stayed in good health. My freedom was

almost taken away. If someone approaches me wrong, I’ve made the decision to

fight if I need to. In my neighborhood there is a lot of violence and threats from

gangs to civilians. Walking home, or to the grocery store, or buying a donut could get physical. I could get threatened anywhere. When I’m not feeling safe, I am

way too aware of my surroundings. However, God keeps me in good health, even

if I’m put in danger. When I listen to this song, it’s a lot of positivity. I need it to keep

moving forward because I’m striving for greatness and success, to be happy

financially and emotionally. I need to focus on myself and do me.

to occur. It started as a verbal altercation, a lot of cussing, a lot of personal

insults directed towards me, until I was pushed into the street. With little to no

hesitation, my friend threw a punch that began it all. It all happened so fast. As I was fighting, I could hear my friend connect a barrage of punches that led to

the man falling to his knees. He was about my height, but a few years older. He had light skin with slicked back hair, wearing a black and purple suit. He had

just come from an important school presentation.

Time went by and a countless amount of punches were thrown and received.

My friend’s nose was bleeding, and I didn’t feel any pain because he didn’t get

any good hits. I overheard a woman in the background yell, “I called the police—

they’re on their way!” I reached out to grab my friends hand, covered with blood,

and told him, “It’s time to go, we can’t stay here.” We began to run. We quickly noticed we were being chased by the guys. “Turn left, we’ll lose them!”

We turned left and were quickly grabbed by people who had witnessed the

incident. I knew the police were coming, and we were trapped. All hope was lost

at that point. When the owner of the house saw we were pushed against his gate, he said to the witnesses, “Let them go. This situation is for them to handle.” With

no hesitation, we set ourselves free and ran with no thought of looking back. We

split up because we believed that one car wouldn’t have time to get to both

destinations in time. Eventually, as I kept running, I heard the siren behind me. I

hid. The police found me and arrested me instantly. I was being asked questions

about the situation but never said a word. When they realized that both of the

guys chasing us were over the age of 18 and my friend and I were minors, they

set us free. You can say we got lucky. I learned from this situation to think twice before I act and be more cautious about certain situations.

freedom in memory

67

God Gives Freedom Jenny De Leon

My mom says, “God is always with you and your loved ones no matter what. Your

religion is Catholic—it always will be so. Nothing can change you and your beliefs.”

When I was young, my beliefs came from the stories she told me about God, saints, their backgrounds, and the miracles that occurred because of Jesus

Christ. At first, as a child, my mother would tell me stories about God and take me to church every Sunday morning. As a kid, I believed in what she told me without

question. By the time I was fifteen, I had so many doubts. I wondered, “Is God real?

Where would God be at this moment? Does God listen to everyone’s prayers?”

Because of these thoughts, I worried that I didn’t believe in God. I was afraid to tell my parents that I might turn into an Atheist.

As I thought more about my questions about God, I thought about freedom and how it relates to independence, dreams, and having the right to have your own

beliefs. I started thinking more deeply about how Jesus was a good man and to

follow him meant I could also become a good person. This changed a lot for me.

It made me feel as if all my problems could fly away. My thoughts made me feel

better, but I felt alone. Then I heard a song by Coldplay on Pandora that changed my perspectives and fears in an instant. The title, “God Put a Smile Upon Your

Face,” popped up in my playlist. As I listened to the song carefully, I began to feel something different. It felt like someone was there with me, and I was listening together with God. The song seemed like a message. It made me think He was there with me. I listened to the song and researched the lyrics. Chris Martin’s About the Author

singing voice was literally heavenly and full of blessings.

Francisco Javier Diaz was born in Monterey Park and raised in Los Angeles,

Music helped me believe God is with me. He will help me do anything and try new

of which he plays every week. His favorite food is pizza. One day he would like to

me realize that God only wants me to stick with him and always believe in him.

California. He believes he is the number one player in soccer and basketball, both visit Italy to learn more about Italian culture, particularly the history of pizza and

things. A song changed my entire life and doubts about Jesus Christ, and it made

famous soccer teams.

freedom in memory

69

Loving Who You Are Yozabeth Navarrete

When I was younger, I used to get bullied for being fat. I not only got bullied by

some of my classmates, but even my own family. Having some of my family tease me made me feel worse because family is supposed to support you, not to bring you down. Even if they were joking, I still felt pressured. I felt like I needed to be

who they wanted me to be. I used to feel trapped, like I needed to meet not only

their expectations but society’s expectations. I felt like I needed to be skinny and

tall with straight teeth, long hair, nice eyebrows, etc. I felt ugly for not being what people wanted me to be.

Since I was very young, I didn’t really understand what was happening. I felt so pressured that I started to become a bully myself. I remember telling this girl

that she was ugly and that her clothes were old. At the moment I had a sense of relief, and I felt good about myself. Now that I look back at that moment, I wish I

could go back and tell her that I didn’t mean any of that, because that moment

probably stuck with her for a while. Realizing what I had done made me feel bad. I realized what I had said to this girl and felt guilty because that probably hurt her self-image. This most likely had a negative impact on her, too.

Leaving behind what had occurred in elementary school, I moved on to middle school. Everything was going pretty good, until the second semester of my

sixth-grade year. Although I was not getting bullied anymore, I still felt bad about myself. I still felt “fat” although no one was telling me in my face that I was fat. I

think since it was thrown in my face for so long, I actually started to believe that About the Author

Jenny De Leon likes to watch anime and K-drama and listen to K-pop and

alternative rock music. She was born in Los Angeles, but her family’s background

is Guatemalan. Jenny wants to visit Guatemala one day to experience first-hand the culture, traditional food, and Mayan language. She’s not only interested in

her own roots, but she also wants to speak and write Japanese and Korean. Her dream is to travel to Asia.

I was ugly, fat, and everything that was said to me. It got to the point where I

didn’t even want to eat anymore, so I wouldn’t gain any more weight. I would eat something small like a cookie or a bag of chips, and that’s all I would have the entire day. Even if I did eat, I would eat one meal a day. I started to lose a lot of

weight. I still did not feel good about myself even though I was now “skinny.” At

this point, I realized that it was not about looks, but rather than your mentality. So I decided to change.

Towards the end of the eighth grade I started to love who I was. The people I was

hanging out with started making me feel better about myself. They really helped me love myself, and they told me not to listen to other people who didn’t care

about me because they didn’t know who I was. My mom also helped a lot when

freedom in memory

71

I was experiencing bullying because she witnessed the process. In Lady Gaga’s song “Born This Way,” she said she was getting bullied at a young age and, “My Mama told me when I was young, we’re all born superstars.” I focused on this specific part of the lyrics because my mom is a very important person in my

life. My mom told me that it didn’t matter how you looked on the outside. If the

person you were on the inside was beautiful, that was all that mattered. She told

me I was such an “incredible and intelligent young woman.” It didn’t matter what others thought of me as long as I liked who I was.

When I could finally understand what was happening, I realized that I didn’t need to look a certain way. I started to love myself more and more and realized that I didn’t need to look how others wanted me to look. Even though I sometimes would still get called “fat,” I was getting used to it. I started to be okay with who I looked like and who I was. I understood that everyone was different.

Everyone looked and acted a certain way, and they were all beautiful. I started

to understand more that I could be myself and realized that I didn’t need to look

how everyone wanted me to look or act. I started to love who I was. Gaga repeats, “I was born this way,” and, “God makes no mistakes.” I started to feel less trapped.

I felt like I was breaking free, and that I could be who I wanted to be, especially since I was soon to be a freshman in high school. It was going to be a whole

different school with different people; the people that I knew before, I probably wouldn’t see or talk to again.

Lady Gaga not only talked about people who were bullied, but also people with disabilities, transgender people, etc. In our community, there are many people

who struggle with not “fitting in.” Gaga says that everyone should love themselves because you can’t change who you are, to love yourself and embrace who you are, because you’re beautiful that way and God makes no mistakes.

About the Author

Yozabeth Sierra Navarrete was born in Puebla, Mexico, immigrating to the U.S. when she was four. She grew up in Los Angeles, California and is the oldest of

three children. Yozabeth Navarrete has learned that she can overcome anything no matter the situation, and wants her readers to learn that they are beautiful in their own way, even if other people do not agree.

freedom in memory

73

The Neverending War Crystal Alonzo

Growing up, my big family was drama-free on both my mom and dad’s sides.

All my cousins grew up together, making amazing memories. Life back then

was so good. We all had big imaginations, so we would find creative things to do or play sports until it got dark outside. It wasn’t until 2012 when everything changed. Three of my cousins from my mom’s side started to have conflict with two of my cousins from my dad’s side. I thought this drama would go

away and everyone would continue to get along again. Unfortunately, that

wasn’t the case. My cousins from both sides of the family stopped talking to each other completely, which impacted both families.

I felt like I was in the middle because I got along with both sides of the family. So when I was around one side of the family, the other side would get mad or act

weird towards me. My mom’s side of the family stopped visiting my dad’s side of

While they are my cousins, they feel closer than that, like siblings. Our conversations in Mexico felt freeing because I usually don’t speak up, but something inside of

me encouraged me to express my emotions about our families drifting. It felt

good, like a weight lifted off of my chest, and we were able to cry and release all that negative energy. Crying felt like freedom in itself and us agreeing to

not speak about the drama was a good sense of security. I was free because I was with people that I felt close to, and I hadn’t been open with them or spent as much time with my cousins in a long time, so it was liberating to get to talk to them about such deep experiences.

My tribe of cousins and I aren’t going to let any drama get in the way of how we

live in the future. Continuing this family drama didn’t get me anywhere other than feeling alone and caught in the middle. Amidst all this, I never stopped to choose a side and I don’t plan to. We should all have the freedom to support whoever we choose because, at the end of the day, we shouldn’t have to be at war with the people we love and hate.

the family. We stopped celebrating holidays together. It started to seem like my

family wanted me to pick sides . . . as if being good with both sides wasn’t the right choice. As I started getting those vibes, I decided to stay home and ignore family gatherings. I thought that running from the problem was going to help, but it

didn’t. My family started to question why I wasn’t showing up anymore. Every time I would attend gatherings, I felt so weird and left out because I would usually just sit there doing nothing, while others were talking or interacting in some way.

Years went by. In December of 2017, my family and I took a trip to Mexico to visit my dad’s side of the family with a few of my cousins. I was excited to leave the

state for three weeks and experience new things in life. I felt like I didn’t have to

worry about the drama at home. During the first week, I stayed with my cousins at my aunt’s house. One night, we were all hanging out in the same room, and we started having very meaningful conversations. My younger cousin started

talking about how he doesn’t feel close to anyone. Then, everyone started sharing their own experiences. One of my younger cousins felt stuck because he wasn’t

very school-oriented, but he wanted to make his family happy. My aunt is always alone because she doesn’t have anyone. She can’t go anywhere because she

doesn’t have a green card. It seemed as if the other side of the family could care

less about how she was or what she was doing. Everyone talked about how I don’t show up to events anymore, and how I’m not as close to them now.

freedom in memory

75

Sacrifices for the Days that Passed Victor Lemus

When I listen to my freedom song, “Legends,” by Juice WRLD, it makes me think of

old memories. When I was eight years old, I started living in my grandma’s house

in East LA, with my mom and four siblings. These memories weren’t the happiest to remember, but they relate to my freedom song; Juice WRLD talks about loss and hard times, and times were especially hard for me when I was young.

I got to be with my aunts, uncle, grandpa, and my grandma, but the days passed and everyday things got harder and harder. I started to notice how unsafe the

neighborhood was because of all the poverty, the gang members that were at

the corners, graffiti, stealing, and people addicted to drugs at the park. I wanted to leave as soon as possible, so we stayed with our grandma so my mom could get

back on her feet. At first, I was glad we moved back to East LA because all my family were out there, but things didn’t go as I thought they would. It was hard for me

and my family. Being the oldest, I wanted to make sure my siblings were okay and always had enough food.

During this time, my mom wouldn’t really have that much time to take all of my

siblings to school because we all had to get ready and eat. I really fell behind in

school. Sometimes, I would miss school because my mom couldn’t drive me, but

after a while I started walking to school. We would move around a lot and I would

go to a new school every time, which made it hard for me because I would always have to make new friends and try to fit in.

About the Author

Crystal Alonzo was born and raised in South Central on the same block as the

Coliseum. She is the oldest of three children in a Mexican family. Her mother is

always telling her to be a leader, pushing her to be a role model to her siblings.

She’s very active and also enjoys softball and biking. She wants readers to know that there’s always sunshine at the end of the storm.

I started walking to school because I didn’t want to live like that when I grew up. If I have kids, I don’t want my kids to go through that. I also wanted to go to school so

I didn’t have to work hard for a little, when I can be working less for a lot. So I made sure I did my work and tried my best for my siblings and my sake. At the time, my mom wasn’t really okay. She was trying her best, but things were not okay, and it

was really hard. I was felt depressed, chained down, stressed out and it felt like it

was the end of the road. I felt like I wasn’t free because of all the stuff going on at the time. I felt like I was stuck and lonely, like I wasn’t going to make it out and be able to live and do something in life. I just wanted to be free.

Eventually, my dad gained custody of my sister and me, and my other siblings

freedom in memory

77

went with their dad. I started going to a new school, which was kind of hard for me because I just started making friends at my old school—now I had to make new ones. My dad noticed how behind we were in school, so he made us read, write, and practice math. He would make math tests for my sister and I to help

us catch up. When I was with my dad, my mom realized what she was doing and

acknowledged all the mistakes she made. She knew she needed to fix them. So she started getting her things together and tried to get us back. My mom went to court with my dad for custody over my sister and me and she won. I remember my mom and dad coming to my school so I could leave with my mom.

When she came that day, I honestly felt really happy; my mom changed and took responsibility for her actions and made sure her kids were okay. I could go to my

old school and be with my old friends, which made me more happy. Our situation

made me realize that everyone has that freedom to change the way they are and

the way they act. This also made me feel free to be what I want, when I want. I didn’t have that same feeling as before when I felt chained down. I felt like I was released from my shackles. It felt good. It also felt like I could have a normal childhood and act my age, instead of having to worry about being someone I’m not. In the song “Legends,” Juice WRLD says, “They tell me I’ma be a legend I don’t want that title now ‘cause all the legends seem to die out.” Juice’s WRLD’s rise to stardom has

started to earn him the title of a legend as well, but because of the rappers that passed away (e.g. XXXtentacion and Lil Peep), Juice WRLD is now afraid of what

may come with that. All Juice WRLD wanted to do was change the world, just how I wanted to change my life and be okay.

But that’s why I chose the song, “Legends.” Even though this songs brings back bad

memories, I think it’s good to keep bad memories, as much as good ones, because, at the end of the day, that feeling you had makes you more human than anything.

About the Author

Victor Lemus was born in East Los Angeles on April 28, 2003, and raised in the San Fernando Valley for most his life. He likes playing football, playing the position

of wide receiver, and skateboarding in his free time. He is the only high-school

sophomore in the 2019 Young Authors’ Book Project at Manual Arts High School.

He enjoys all types of music, especially rap, R&B, and soul. Outside of school, he enjoys going out with friends and spending time with his family.

freedom in memory

79

Losing You, Finding Me Brandeaux Lazo

I was never really happy about waking up early and having to get ready to go

to school, but I really looked forward to the empty streets, cloudy sky, and cool

breeze as I rode my skateboard to start the day. I would always listen to music on my way to school because it really woke me up, but calmed me down in the best way possible. I just felt so relaxed and loved everything about it.

Although I looked forward to my morning routine–the music, skateboarding, the freedom, and lack of boundaries on my ride–I was also very nervous. I was in a relationship. It was a toxic relationship. I was scared of getting her angry,

making me feel guilty every morning, but it was also a relationship that I didn’t want to let go of. I knew I shouldn’t be there, but memories of what we used

to be, how we started, always came back and held me down. Most of all I was afraid of being alone. I felt tired and unmotivated. I hated myself and would push myself away from others.

We met my first year of high school. I was used to different people, a different

school. When I got here, I felt like everyone was already in their own little groups.

All I felt was solitude, I felt left out of everything and I didn’t know how to make friends with people that I thought were so different. I would hang out at lunch

alone, sitting by this rail, while I watched everyone else eat with their friends and have fun. One day, out of nowhere, this girl in my Mexican Literature class sat on

that rail with me. She was really pretty and had eyes that shined every time I saw them. She had bright brown hair that was blonde at the tips and looked amazing

in the sunlight. She had a great sense of humor. Spending time with her made me feel like I was the luckiest guy ever. A few months later, I finally had the courage to

ask her to be my girlfriend. She came over to my house, and I couldn’t even look at her; I was super nervous, but when I finally did ask, she said she’d love to. She was wearing a red hoodie and carrying around her little clarinet that I always teased

I felt slowly got darker and darker. The amazing conversations we had turned

into arguments. She was a very jealous person who didn’t like me talking to my friends. I didn’t feel like she really cared for me or what I thought about certain

things. She didn’t want to spend as much time with me anymore, and I always felt like I was doing something wrong.

Even though breaking up meant going back to being alone, maybe being

alone was a sort of freedom. We broke up after two years. I always knew the

relationship was controlling. I couldn’t control what I wanted to do–in school, with my hobbies, with my friends. I didn’t feel free. I didn’t even feel happy.

The morning after our break up, it felt like just an ordinary morning; I just felt more down than usual. I felt alone and didn’t even want to get out of bed. I ended the relationship knowing I would feel this way, but I also knew that it was the best for me. However, the empty streets and cloudy weather didn’t feel the same

anymore. I wasn’t happy. That same morning on my way to school, I used my

friend’s playlist instead of mine, and the second song on it was “Losing You” by

Boy Pablo. It was the first time I’d heard that song; the drums up front are really

energetic and made me feel hyped up and happy. It made me feel like I would be okay because there’s a toxic relationship in the song, and I knew I wasn’t the only person having this problem.

At this moment I had a feeling of clarity and hope. I realized that even though I

was alone and I wasn’t at my happiest, I was okay, and I would be fine. I realized that it was time that I turned my life around. Thinking badly about myself and

complaining never made me happier or improved my life anyway. After we broke up, I made more friends, went to counseling, and started working on ways to

improve my life. I felt more connected to the world. I found myself a lot happier

with the relationships I made with my friends, my family, and myself. I found out

that was my freedom. Without loving who you are and without having control in your life, you feel lost. Fight to love yourself and find your own freedom.

her about. I used to call her Squidward.

When she came into my life and set me free of solitude, it felt amazing. We

spoke about anything and everything, from how things were at home to just

little conversations that seemed to have no meaning, but actually had a lot of

depth. We had so much fun together. I felt like somebody finally cared for me and nothing could go wrong. However, after a few months, the beautiful ray of light

freedom in memory

81

Memories from a Black Mustang Daisy Morales

At fourteen, my oldest brother Mauricio and I are sitting in his black Mustang,

going to the mall to get a gift for our mom’s birthday. The January sun, unusually hot for the month, is shining on the car. We’re laughing and chatting about life,

school, and everything in between. I nod my head in general agreement, neither committing it to memory nor dismissing it, as he gives me advice on the future.

He slowly turns the volume up as Kid Cudi’s “Pursuit of Happiness” reverberates through the speakers of the car. We laugh as we sing to each other. Nothing matters except for this moment. We’re just having fun.

My oldest brother, Mauricio, taught me that anything is possible if we work for it.

My other older brother, Roberto, proved it to me when he was accepted to Cal

State Dominguez Hills. I’ve always been close with both of my brothers because my mother taught us that blood is thicker than water. She’s always told us that because she wanted us to know that a bond with our siblings is stronger than bonds we have with other people.

My mother always made us make up when we got into fights. She always taught us to stand up for each other. Since everyone in my family did well in school, it

felt like if I made a mistake or fell behind in class work, all of the effort, time, and

dedication my mother and father put in to help me become successful would fall and shatter to pieces. But thinking about that day in the mustang, I remember

feeling very carefree and forgetting all of my flaws and all of my worries. It was About the Author

Brandeaux Lazo is from Los Angeles, California. This is the first time that he has written for an 826LA publication. His family originates from El Salvador and

immigrated to the United States in hopes of better opportunities. He values his

family and lives with his mother and brother. At a very young age, Brandeaux found a great interest in video editing and plans to pursue a career in the film industry.

the first time I felt that way in a long time. The song “Pursuit of Happiness” by Kid

Cudi takes me through a rollercoaster of emotions. When the beat is rising, I feel

all my pressure and stress building up. When the beat drops, every emotion, every

stressful thing in my mind, and every sadness and happiness mixed together pours out of me like an overfilled water cup.

Whenever, I feel stressed out about the small, yet daunting, workload from my

Advanced Placement History class and my Advanced Placement English class, I

think of listening to “Pursuit of Happiness” with my brother. I worry so much about school because my mother wants me to succeed at the high level that my two older brothers did on their own high-school path. When I think of that moment, I remember the joy we experienced together and how our relationship was

freedom in memory

83

generally good outside of that car ride. My oldest brother usually gives me small pieces of advice about life, but I know I can always go to him if I need someone

to talk with or need advice on anything. Since I’m the only girl in my family, I feel

like I can’t really talk to anyone because I feel like no one would understand me, but when he sits and listens to me, I feel relieved. I can breathe again because I

remember my brother’s laughter and that everything will be okay. Going together to get a gift for our mother reminded me of the relationship we had with her. My

mother has always told us never to wait for anyone to give us what we want. She

has always told us to work hard and be good to people. Remembering all the good advice my family has given me makes me feel more confident.

Earlier that day, I remember walking to his black shiny Mustang and thinking, “Oh man, I’m going to sweat rivers in that.” As soon as I sat down in the black leather seats, I started sweating and feeling very uncomfortable. I started to get lost in my thoughts, thinking about how I wasn’t sure at all about what I was going to do after I finish high school or if I was even going to make it out of high school.

My brother interrupted my train of thought when he started asking me questions

about school and how I was doing. I remember making a joke and telling him I was going to drop out because school was too much for me, and I didnt know if I was

going to make it. He looked me dead in the eye and told me he believed in me and I was smart enough to get into a good college. When my brother gave me advice, I took it seriously because I knew he actually listened to me and related to what I

was going through. When I asked my brother for advice, I could see the gears in his head turning. I could tell he actually thought through exactly what he was going

to say and he wouldn’t just dismiss me and say, “Things happen for a reason.” He

would give me long lectures and show me that he actually cared about me and he

wanted me to be successful. After our talk, I felt more confident about myself. Being

fourteen at that time, I felt very self conscious about the way I looked, with my teeth being crooked, my hair being an untamed mess, and feeling very bad about my

About the Author

body. Having a moment of not feeling terrible about myself was very memorable.

Daisy Morales is a junior at Manual Arts High School and a self-taught artist. Art

That day I felt so free. Talking to my family and knowing that I could trust every

eight years old when she drew a small pig. Since then, she has learned to draw

holding me back from expressing my feelings. Freedom, to me, is doing what I

in Los Angeles, but her family is originally from Puebla, Mexico. She is the youngest

pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold.

and she dedicates this story to them.

has always been Daisy’s escape from reality. She taught herself how to draw at

single one of them makes me feel happy and free, knowing that I don’t have chains

the people who inspire her, like her cousin and her mom. She was born and raised

want and knowing that I have support from my family. Like Kid Cudi said, “I’m on the

and only girl in her family. Her family has always guided her through tough times,

I’ll be fine once I get it, get it in, I’ll be good.” Even though I have pressure from my

family to do well in school, I know that they want what’s best for me, and they will always be there to help guide me through tough times.

freedom in memory

85

One Good Friendship Monica Ramos

When I was younger. I struggled a lot to make friends because I was really

awkward and I would constantly get bullied. In the song “Dog Days Are Over,”

Florence sings, “Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can’t carry it

with you if you want to survive.” These lyrics resonated with me because there was a point in my life when I couldn’t let go of the past; I constantly would feel

sorry for myself. I isolated myself. I wouldn’t go out at all. I just stayed home. I felt trapped. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, but in the eighth grade I met a

special person named Lily, who is now my best friend. She turned my life around.

Becoming friends with her, for me, was a breakthrough. I felt free.

One good friendship is all you need. You don’t need ten to fifteen friends to feel

like you are important. You should always strive for a higher goal all the time and not be satisfied with the minimum. When I was going through a rough time, I let

that take over my life for a good period of time. Instead, I should’ve thought, “Okay, what can I do to become a better version of myself?” The friendship that I talked about helped me by motivating me to achieve better things for my own good.

I found that light to my darkness. I know it sounds cheesy, but that’s kind of what I felt. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I let myself think that I didn’t deserve a good future because, at the end of the day, I didn’t matter like other people, but Lily helped me think otherwise. I learned that I am worth it, and I

deserve a good future. Friendships with people that support you, those are the types of friendships you need.

After meeting Lily, I stopped living in the past and focused on the present

because I can’t change the past. I decided that it was time for a change.

Our friendship helped me grow in a healthy way. I gained some confidence. I joined the school’s volleyball team—only for a year, but still the best decision I’ve ever made. We even went on a roadtrip to Fresno and met new people.

I also started doing better in school; my grades started to improve. Up until

this day, I’m very grateful I met Lily. She accepted me for who I was and she

accepts me for who I am. For me this was very important, I was finally able to be myself and not be afraid.

In the song, Florence says, “Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back.” When you make new friends and meet new people that want you to do better, you start to

glow in different way. You start doing things that you didn’t think you would ever do. Look for friendships that will help you better yourself and grow into a better person. When I decided to join the volleyball team, Lily made me a poster and

cheered me on when I had a game. In our friendship, I found freedom in having a reason to let go and start living in the present. I want to enjoy all these good moments because they won’t always be around.

Lily asks me simple questions. How are you doing? Have you done your

homework? How’s school? Did you eat? Truly, this is the universal sign of love and friendship. They’re not big questions, but they mean a lot to me. Before, I didn’t

feel like anyone would really take me into consideration. I felt like I didn’t matter,

but now I feel important. Simple questions mean a lot, so I must mean something.

I know now that my needs matter.

freedom in memory

87

A Chicano’s Day Brian Kumul

When I listen to my freedom song, I am transported to a memory of when I

was small and I used to hang out with my friends from the neighborhood. The

neighborhood I lived in was a mixture of Brown and Black people. Everyone in

that neighborhood would get along together and, yeah, there were fights here and there, but at the end of the day, everyone got along. We never treated

each other different because of our skin color; we treated each other like one big family. My neighborhood had some pretty old houses and some of them

were remodeled because they were looking pretty rough. One thing you would see every day was cats in groups, looking for something to eat.

There were days when me and my friends would come out to play with each other, but there was one group of kids we didn’t get along with because our

family members didn’t like their family members. We all would meet at the corner of the block by an abandoned house, which was our spot. We played freeze tag,

basketball, soccer, baseball, and football. I hung out most with Marcos and Tony because we had each other’s back, no matter what. We never left each other

behind; we always moved as a group. Some days we got into fights with the kids down the street because they would have something to say about us or our

family members when walking by. Marcos had mad beef with one of the kids. Me and Tony would always have his back. We let Marcos and that other boy fight; when someone wanted to jump in, that’s when me and Tony came in.

One day, I came from school and went straight home. It was a sunny, beautiful About the Author

Monica Ramos was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She likes to listen to music in her spare time, especially piano music, because it makes her

feel calmed and relaxed when she has a lot going on. In her household she’s the second mom; she does the laundry, the groceries, the cleaning, and

sometimes the cooking. Monica hopes that her readers feel comfort and acceptance when reading her story.

day. It was very warm outside, and you could feel that cool breeze hitting you

in the face every once in a while, it felt very relaxing. As I walked home, I would

normally hear everyone outside, either talking about something that happened

in the neighborhood or arguing. But that day, I didn’t hear no one outside—it was so quiet that I was able to hear the crickets. For a moment, I thought something

had happened. I said hi to my mom, went to my room, took off my backpack and went to the kitchen to eat chicken with beans and rice. I went back to the room

and lied down on my bed. I can remember waiting for my friends to knock on my door so we could meet up with the other kids from the block. After a cool while they came; I grabbed my sweater and we took off.

freedom in memory

89

Normally, we crossed by the kids down the block, and every time they were

running their mouths. But this time, they didn’t want to fight, they wanted to talk to us. We looked at them from head to toe and were like, “Wassup?” They talked about how they got tired of fighting for their family members. They said they

wanted to all get along for once. They explained that earlier that day their mother had fell and hurt herself. Marcos’s older brother saw her fall and ran to her and helped her up. They didn’t think, out of all people, Marcos’s brother would help their mother. When they said that, we started walking.

We got to the abandoned house and met up with everyone else at the park to play baseball and pass the rest of the day there. It got kinda cold, so I took off

with Marco and Tony. On our way home, we passed by a liquor store to get some

chips and something to drink. We grabbed the same old chips we get every day, which are Flamin Hot Cheetos and the the same drink, AriZona Fruit Punch. We

talked about how we didn’t get in any trouble. I made the choice to have a good

day. I felt free because I had the right to do what I wanted. I didn’t have to follow a command. I did what I wanted to do.

About the Author

Brian Kumul is a young Chicano, born and raised in LA, although his parents are

from Mexico. Brian has a passion for graffiti and music. The music he’s most into

is corridos. He learned how to do graffiti through the inspiration of his brothers. He also hopes to work as an architect, designing buildings and other structures. He got inspired to become an architect through the shapes and lines from graffiti.

His number one favorite food of all time is birria.

freedom in memory

91

The Shell That Finally Broke Open Alexa Velez

The beach made me feel safe. The breeze, the sunset, the shells, everything

be in our pictures, so I said: “Yeah, come over here.” Later that night, I posted

the group picture we took. He started a conversation about him looking “ugly,”

when he really didn’t. I didn’t reply after because I didn’t think we were actually going to talk at all, I thought it was just a one day conversation or just a couple sentences between us.

was perfect. I would always walk around and see a shell, looking at how closed

That’s how he started the conversation. A couple of days passed and we

secrets it could hold, which we might never know about. How the ocean in it

having to trust each other and so, while it was difficult, we did. We started to

it was, looking at the beauty of it. Noticing how many beautiful and scary sounds, as if it wants to be let out.

The song “Better” by Khalid reminds me of a special person. Great memories that are worth talking about. We took a risk with one another to open up and shared many things. This song makes me feel free, like the way a summer

beach breeze hits you, and it makes me feel safe and happy. This song brings out the best memories for me—plenty of them—but one special one.

When I was about eleven years old, my dad got deported. After that incident, I thought to myself that it was better and safer for me to be kept in a little shell

started to Facetime a lot. Every conversation was so funny. It started with us hang out and talk a lot more. More than I would with others. One day, I was

home alone and he asked if I wanted to hang out the entire night with him. My

mom let me go because she wanted me to have some fun, since I was always home and didn’t usually go out like that. He picked me up and we headed to the movies by Santa Monica. We watched the new Michael Myers movie. We

were both scared and we wanted to hug one another, but I guess at that time we weren’t yet so comfortable. He thought of going to the pier to just walk

around and talk. I agreed because I didn’t want to end the night so early. We ended up walking around the whole pier until I was actually kinda tired.

because, after he got taken away, I didn’t think I needed anyone else, nor did I

We sat down. I didn’t want to tell him about certain issues that I’d gone

mom and I were close, but we weren’t as close as my dad and I.

things, maybe because I saw something in him. It was just a random feeling I

think that I needed to open up and tell anybody about my personal issues. My

During these past seven years, I would push away many people who would try and talk to me. I mean I would be friends with a couple of people, but

through, but I took a risk. He took the risk as well. I talked about a couple of

had towards him. I probably did it because he was different, which he is, and that was what I liked about him. He didn’t want to be like anybody else.

we wouldn’t talk about my problems. We would just talk about school. I

Brandon was always himself. Never cared about what others thought about him.

to know me. They knew I wasn’t too open, so they let it go. All those years I

topic to bring up. How I always tried to protect myself and my feelings from others.

intentionally kept people away. I wanted to know them, but I didn’t want them felt alone, I felt like I only had to depend on myself. I was always picky. I never thought I needed anybody. It wasn’t any fun.

Senior year, last year of high school: I had always seen him walking around since freshman year. Sometimes he would be brought up in conversations

with a couple of friends. I know that he knew me. I didn’t like his friends and

neither did he like mine. I never got to know him, I never got to have a small conversation with him.

Homecoming came along, and I went with one of my closest friends. We took

a couple of pictures; somebody was taking some for him. He asked if he could

freedom in memory

I told him about my dad. I usually don’t open up about him because it’s a hard

I told him every detail about myself and my insecurities. Stuff I never imagined

telling anybody. I told him how I was towards guys and about breakups that I’ve gone through. He didn’t shut me out, he kept trying to communicate. Trying to

act like he could relate to half of the stuff to make me feel better, I guess, but in a

good way. Later, at about midnight, I told him I had to go home. During the car ride, we were singing out loud to songs that we knew. That was when I started getting comfortable with him. I knew it was right.

Two days later, he wanted to go eat at Taco Bell—we ate, talked a bit, the

usual. Got to the car, and he decided he wanted to go to the park—somewhere

by Culver City, that was our “spot.” We got there and walked up to a place

93

that was quiet and lonely. We talked and talked and talked. It got to a point

where I had to head home. During the walk back to the car, he started saying something about if he ever got to the edge of losing me, he would try his

lawyer. I could see that.” He said this with puppy eyes that just made me have butterflies in my stomach.

hardest to get me back, no matter what it would take. We were on our way

“You’re going to have an amazing future.”

right?“ and I said, “You do too.” I hadn’t heard anybody tell me that in a while.

I took a risk. He reminded me so much of my dad, who was always supportive,

to the freeway—he held my hand and said, “You know you make me happy, That is when I got attached.

Another three days passed, Halloween Movieeee night came along! That day we decided to hang out after school. We went to his house and took a little

nap together as friends. Once it hit 6:30 PM, we got blankets and pillows and

always brave, strong, everything you could think of. The sweetest man ever. He was just like my best friend. Brandon is just that way. You meet thousands of

people and none of them really get you. Then you meet one person and your life changes forever. Brandon makes me feel free.

decided to go to Wingstop to get some food to take to movie night. We got to

school, set up our “little bed” somewhere close to the full screen, and sat and

ate, watching the movie at the football field. A lot of people went to the movie, and when I say a lot of people went, a lot did. Some others kept staring at us,

maybe wondering if we were together or not. When we finished eating, we lay down and covered ourselves up with the huge blankets. Under the blankets,

our hands slipped together, we looked at each other and just smiled, acting

as if nothing happened. The movie finished, we picked up our trash, blankets, pillows, and decided to leave. His “friends” ended up coming with us. He

dropped me off first. We both got out the car and he told me, “I got it like that,” as a joke. I started laughing, went inside, and texted him, “Get home safe,” as I

always do. Once I got into my house, I knew Brandon was going to be someone important to me. I knew he was going to play a huge role in my life. I couldn’t

sleep that night. I kept thinking about movie night, when he held my hand. The next day, we hung out till 11 PM. We went to the beach.

Months have passed. To this day, we’re still in each other’s lives. We’ve gone

through a lot, but still manage to stick together. We are inseparable. Brandon has helped me out with difficult obstacles, and I’ve helped him. Lately, we’ve been pretty busy. We started working. We started being extra focused with

school; but that hasn’t stopped us from hanging out. He sometimes pulls up

to my house. It’ll be around 10 PM. He parks somewhere and we talk. Recently, we had a conversation where we talked completely and fully open. I started

crying. It made me open my eyes and realize that he was going to be my best

friend in the long run, no matter what we are and what we get into. That night, he said “I know I don’t say this or show this often, but I’m proud of you. I’m

proud of the obstacles you’ve gone through by yourself and everything you’ve accomplished. Look at what you’re doing, I’m so proud of it. You want to be a

freedom in memory

95

The Power of Speaking Up Francis Romero

After five months of being abused in my relationship, I finally opened up to the

police and my family. It felt as if I grasped air after drowning. I wasn’t sure if it was

the right time to put my foot on the ground, but I felt trapped. I wanted to feel free again. I no longer wanted to have anxious nights, thinking they were my last. For

my safety, I kept quiet, until the intensity and harm started getting worse for me.

I had to ask for help. I thought I had to be my own hero after five months of being dehumanized.

My family did not understand how to help me at first. I felt scared when I

expressed what was happening. However, after I spoke up, I was finally able to be

myself again, I was more aware of my surroundings and red flags. Although, it did take me months to build up confidence, I managed to learn how to work around my emotional distress by avoiding men at the time and removing myself from touchy subjects or activities.

My anxiety is genetic throughout my family, but in Latino culture it’s a taboo to speak or acknowledge mental health because we view it as “just a phase” or

“wanting attention.” After my diagnosis with PTSD, people that loved me didn’t

know how to help me right away. I relate the song lyrics in Logic’s song “1-800-

273-8255” to my anxiety because everyone says life is precious, but when we’re going through a dark time, no one seems to know how to help. So I had to help

myself. Even though I was fighting my inner-voice telling me I couldn’t leave, I did because of my family and friends. I did because I wanted to be myself again.

About the Author

Alexa Velez was published in the 2018 Young Authors’ Book Project, “Through the

Same Halls.” Alexa loves eating a lot and is passionate about writing. She was born in South Central Los Angeles, California, on 54th and Vermont. What people do not know about Alexa is that she plays basketball. She is into journalism. She wants to get her Bachelor’s and Juris Doctor Law degree to be an Immigration Lawyer.

After I opened up to my family, my sister who is a therapist suggested I start

meditating to help me get through the nights. Meditation was different than the

therapy I had gone through before. It was more personal. I meditated four times a day, every morning and every night and if necessary in between. Back then,

it was hard for me to sleep due to flashbacks and dreams. I listened to natural

sounds like waterfalls and it emptied my mind of the negativity. Doing this and aromatherapy helped ground me in my knowledge, resilience, and power. I

began to flourish. I noticed a change. I was fearless of what I said and finally

confident to do what I had been restricted from before in the relationship. As I

started challenging my fears and worked through the triggers, I became a new

version of me. I noticed how silent I had been. After seven months, finally, I could

freedom in memory

97

hear myself laugh again in videos I sent to friends. My signature smirk was back in the photos I saw of myself.

I overcame my sleepless nights and flourished my way into a better, strongwilled person. Sadly, since PTSD is not curable, I can’t go to certain places

without feeling numb and sick to my stomach. Hearing certain names makes

me distressed and uncomfortable; I immediately remove myself, regardless of

if it is the same person or not. I still get flashbacks when I’m working, sleeping, or relaxing. It’s inevitable, but I know how to work through this now.

When the song first came out, I was already being abused. Listening to it felt

like therapy. I used to cry every day to this song because I needed motivation

want everyone reading this to know that you are not alone. Speak up for yourself, even if you’re scared how you might be judged. Your safety and happiness

should always be your priority, and you should not feel ashamed for opening up and putting your foot on your ground. Use your experience to gain strength and flourish emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I wanted to talk about

this subject not only because it is personal, but because I know it happens way too often in this world filled with hatred. Domestic violence and suicide are not,

and should not, be considered taboo. Raise awareness so that statistics can drop.

More women and men are able to speak up about their abuse and darkness in

their own comfort. Staying silent will only hurt you more. Speaking up will be the solution to finding your own freedom.

to continue my life and go find help, so I wouldn’t have to be in pain anymore.

Once I gained the courage to speak out, I still listened to this song. Although I was already out of the relationship and had a restraining order, my therapy dog for anxiety and depression died soon after I spoke out. A few months after healing

from the trauma and distress, the song now makes me feel relief and pride with

a hint of happiness. Without the song, I don’t know how I would have been able to get to where I am today.

After being in a dark place for an unnecessary amount of time, I forgot how it felt to be happy; how to genuinely smile; how to talk to others and how to be

comfortable with others; how to dress comfortably without having to hide abuse.

He stole my freedom and pursuit of happiness.

Abusers aren’t always scary or sketchy looking. They can be charming; they can be nice; they can make you laugh and happy. They have ways of getting into

your heart and trust. From my experience, it taught me that when you let them too deep into your life, that’s when they find ways to manipulate you, gaslight

you, hurt you. You take it because you feel like it’s only one time and done. You

think you know them well. That’s why people going through abuse don’t speak

up when it starts happening. They’re in denial because of their illusions and the control their partner has over them. Lyrics from the song that represents this

are, “I’ve been praying for somebody to help me, no one’s heroic,” and, “I know

I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it.” Although it hurt to see someone who I

loved beat me and degrade me, I still had faith, and I would always tell people my relationship was well, so they didn’t find anything suspicious.

There can be times where you feel like there’s no escape, so you accept the pain. I

freedom in memory

99

About the Author

Francis Romero was born and raised in Hollywood, but moved to South LA in April, 2015. Her mother is Mexican, and her father is Spanish Italian. Francis has a huge passion for science and has taught herself eleven science-based subjects, with her all-time favorite being astronomy. She has great aspirations to be many

things: an astronomer, a zoologist, and a dermatologist. Francis knew she loved science when she was around six years old. She would watch sci-fi channels,

weather channels, investigation channels, and would only watch Nickelodeon

or Disney if there was nothing on. What Francis wants to add into her list of selftaught subjects is criminology.

freedom in memory

101

“We were so happy, we wanted it to last forever, but things don’t really last forever now, do they?”

FREEDOM IN the present

103

Strong Like Nicki, Bright like Kehlani: Exploring Myself Tra’Nell Davis-Coles

I don’t have time for myself. I want to be with my friends and hang out, but it’s my job to watch my sister. I wouldn’t say trapped, but I feel like I can’t do what I want to do.

I was in my room alone because my sister wanted to stay downstairs watching

T.V. I didn’t turn on the lights. That day, when I was on the bus from school going home, I was thinking about how everybody is different in their own way. My

grandma asks me, every time I see her, what I want to be when I grow up, and I

never have an answer for her, because I don’t know. It seems like I can’t find what interests me and it makes me feel like I’m here for nothing.

I wasn’t in the mood to watch gaming YouTube videos like I regularly would

confident about it, but I don’t wear my natural hair because I’m not confident about mine.

It just took that one time of listening to that song. It started to make me think about how I should start loving myself and not worrying about what people think about me. They don’t know how I really am, and it has nothing to do with how I look.

Music helps me become calm. The next song on my playlist was “Dear Old Nicki.”

That song made me feel that I shouldn’t change for anybody. Even if you’re in

the spotlight and have a lot of money or if you’re poor and have no money, you shouldn’t change who you are for anybody. Before, I was thinking that I should

change how I am, and I should hang out with people that look more like me. But

now, I know that hanging out with people that don’t go through the same thing as me makes me unique. We can all stand out in different ways. Nicki’s confidence and her life story boost my own confidence more.

because I wasn’t happy. I just wanted to think. I turned on my calm YouTube songs,

A couple of months later, I was arguing with my mom. I was telling her I can never

I first heard that song, I cried because I was like, “Wow, she been through a lot,”

She complained about how I don’t wash dishes enough. I don’t like my mom’s

the playlist I titled “Feels.” The first song was “Autobiography” by Nicki Minaj. When

and it made me think of all the things I’ve been through. My mom tells me I haven’t though. “When you burnt the house down and my mother was in it, How could I

forget it? The pain is infinite.” These lyrics basically explained to me that you can go through a lot and still turn out to be something. I felt inspired, but I was still sad.

The next song that came on was “Bright” by Kehlani and it helped me realize I was insecure—that was the problem. Some of my friends have clear skin and I don’t,

and all my friends are lighter than me. I am darker than all my friends so people

always describe me as the dark-skinned girl. “Oh you know, Tranell? She’s the tall

dark-skinned girl.” It made me feel like being dark-skinned was bad and I wished I was brown-skinned and not dark. I remember blaming my mom for having

hang out with my friends because I have to watch my sister. She was mad at me. friend who is over the house a lot. I told her she should spend more time with us;

she works a lot and we don’t see her that much. We were both mad at each other, and I sat far away from her on the bus because I was so mad.

I came to school and I was happy to see my friends, but deep down I was sad. All

my friends can have fun, but I can’t. I was sitting in class with a sub, and I told my friend what was going on at home. She suggested I live with my grandma, but I

told her I have to take care of my sister. My friend was listening, but she couldn’t give me the help I needed. I knew I needed to help myself. I felt depressed, but I helped myself out of that.

sensitive skin and for making me go to the pool without sunscreen on. I get rashes

I didn’t go to school the next day; I needed time to get myself together. We had

back. I got oily skin from my grandfather, and a lot of products don’t work on my

that weekend. I didn’t even watch T.V. I only listened to music, mainly to old Nicki

easily that make my skin darker, and if I rub lotion on my face, my acne comes skin, and they make my acne worse.

The Kehlani lyric that made me realize everyone was different was, “She says, ‘I

don’t look like them, I don’t look like her, and I don’t want what’s on my head, but baby girl, don’t be misled.” My natural hair isn’t as long as other girls’ hair, and

when I heard that lyric, I felt the same. I see girls wear their natural hair and be

freedom in the present

that whole weekend and the Monday off, and I did a lot to help myself through

Minaj—her mixtape days. I realized I have to help out my mom and little sister. It’s not that safe where we live. Our car got broken into. I wanted to help my family get out of where we live.

I started researching what I could do for a job that makes a lot of money and

that I also have an interest in. When I think of interests, all I think about is music.

10 5

But I can’t tell my grandma that. She’s going to say I’m not going to make it far in

music. She wants me to be a judge or a lawyer. I can’t tell her I don’t have money and I don’t know if I can get scholarships or financial aid to pay for law school.

I started to wonder if I should go into the modeling industry because I am tall

and I really don’t like playing sports. People tell me every day that I should play

basketball, but I always tell them no. That’s one of the reasons I dislike being tall,

but I also enjoy being tall because I think of it as having an advantage that other people don’t have.

I’ve found what makes me happy, and that’s music. Maybe I should be a music producer. But also I think I should be a family therapist, so I can help other

families. Right now, I’m at a point in my life where I haven’t completely found

myself, but I’m working on it by exploring careers to see if I would be interested.

I just want to love myself; that’s what will make me happy.

About the Author

Tra’Nell Davis-Coles was born in Hollywood, but moved to South Central at a very

young age. Tra’Nell’s great-great grandma moved from Mississippi to Los Angeles when her great grandma was pregnant with her grandma. A lot of people

assume she is only Black because she is dark-skinned, but she is also Native

American. She loves Nicki Minaj and Kehlani because they have a confidence she admires. She doesn’t love a lot of things, but she loves Panda Express and shoes.

She deals with emotions through music.

freedom in the present

107

Are We Truly Free?

Anjelina Arroyo

Once there was a time when I was free, or at least felt free. Ever since we were

young, my siblings and I moved from house to house a lot. Even though we had many different houses, we were happy within each one because each house

had its own adventure. We lived in a trailer cramped with eleven people. There

were five boys and four girls, not including my mother and father. We would put plywood on the sink and shift the table to convert them into beds, so we would

all have a comfortable place to sleep. It felt like our own little caboose. It might

have been too small, but having to be so on top of each other made us close. We physically had to tiptoe around one another, but we emotionally connected with each other because of the living situation we were in.

Then there was this one house we had on Sixth Ave. It looked like an old-fashioned fire station—brick walls, two floors, and a huge empty lot next to it. Within the lot there were enormous lemon trees. Maybe they just felt that huge because we

were so small. We would climb them and play hide and seek within them. Playing

within the trees made me feel free. We could go as high as we wanted and as low we could go. We would play from after breakfast ‘til the time dinner was ready.

We were so happy, we wanted it to last forever, but things don’t really last forever now, do they? After my father lost his job, we were not able to afford our own

house anymore. We moved to my aunt’s house. At the time, my grandmother

was still alive, so it was still considered her house. The day we moved everything

out of the Sixth Ave. house, it was raining. We tried to move quickly so our stuff wouldn’t get so drenched. We settled into the one small room she had given

I never wanted it to be my home. My aunts and uncle have always criticized my siblings and I—about how we would never make it to college or that we would become homeless by the age of thirty. No mother wants to hear bad things

being wished upon her children. Every mother wants the best for her children regardless of any circumstances. My mother and father always pushed us to

achieve and thrive in whatever we were interested in. My aunts and uncles try to bring us down. It is very hard living in a person’s house when they do not believe in you. If you are in a room with someone who has negative or just evil energy,

you can feel it. It’s like a dark and heavy cloud floating over your head, and the negative energy just spreads throughout the room. Well, that’s what it’s like in

the house every day. My aunt feels like we owe her our lives just because she’s

put a roof over our heads, but my mother runs the house because she cooks and cleans. She holds the house together all on her own, like glue.

My father became disabled in late 2013. It has taken a very hard toll on my mother.

Not only does she have to take care of my siblings and I, she now has to take care of my father. There has not been one day that my family has not had to struggle or even worry about having enough food to put on the table. It’s hard being a

sixteen year old girl, and not only have to worry about school, but have to worry about having a suitable life as a teenage girl. I’m not saying that I’m ungrateful

for what I have. I believe I’m the most grateful person I’ve ever encountered, but tell me, do you think I’m truly free?

Freedom—in my life, there has been no such thing. Although I have not yet

experienced true freedom, it does mean something to me. Freedom means without worry. Freedom means moving . Freedom means happiness. But honestly, I don’t believe there is true freedom in today’s world.

us all to stay in. My mother was very tired and drained from all the stress on

her to make sure we were comfortable. My father built us a bunk bed that held three beds. My little sisters shared the bottom. I—the middle—and my older

sister on the top. My mom slept on a small bed she made out of a bench. My father and three of my brothers slept in the living room, while my other two

brothers moved into the trailer that was in back of my grandmother’s house.

Although we were still cramped between a small room, the living room, and the small trailer, I felt like we were miles apart. Our emotions were not the same. We had gotten so close with one another.

We’ve spent years in this house, but I’ve never been able to get comfortable in it.

freedom in the present

10 9

Picking Life

Ramon Cisneros

Joey has a hard life; family problems, like fights and having no money. He also

has kids bullying and teasing him, even being physical. The song, “Don’t Worry

Be Happy,” and Joey’s life have different struggles, but that’s what makes both of them similar. We all have struggles that keep us chained up, and that’s why we

seek freedom. The emotion that the artist is expressing is happiness, which is all

Joey wants: to be happy. Joey has felt chained for his whole life, and all he wants is to be free from those chains, free from his worries.

He worries if his mother and siblings are okay when he leaves for school. He

worries a lot about his family, but he still has more to worry about at school, such as his low grades and his bully. Joey is a shy and quiet boy, and the reason he is like this is because of his father and the other bullies that think he’s an easy target.

They call him terrible names, taking some of his stuff, like books. They start rumors about him, like how he’s a bad person. Joey has no friends because they are

scared of getting bullied or because of the rumors about him. Joey’s grades

are always low because of the bullying, so his teachers set up meetings with his parents to tell them Joey is being bullied. His dad tells him to suck it up and be a man.

Joey always wants to run away from everything and live a happy and free life.

He thinks of everything that can make him free, like running away from home.

About the Author

Anjelina (Anjie) Arroyo is from San Juan, Puerto Rico. Growing up in the streets of Los Angeles, Anjie picked up many hobbies such as cooking, cosmetology, and music. In the fall of 2020, Anjie will be attending Cal Poly Pomona and majoring

in Culinary Arts. Her love for her family runs deep. What motivates her to fight for her dreams and to seek out higher education is her desire to support her family.

He thinks of calling the police, but that would cause even more problems, and

it wouldn’t help him stop the bullies. His school started a therapy program after school for students that need help. Joey thinks that this won’t help him, but he

won’t know until he tries, so after school he joins the program. He goes in a room,

and there is only one adult there. He introduces himself as Dr. Drew and tells Joey to sit down and tell him what is bothering him.

In the future, she envisions a life where she can buy her mother a home or even

Joey starts to tell Drew everything about his dad, his bully, and why he wants to

Me” by Nicki Minaj. When she listens to this song, she imagines it is a conversation

that he is only focusing on the bad things in his life, that he has too many worries.

the car of her dreams. Her essay “Are We Truly Free?” is inspired by the song “Save between her mother and life. This song reminds her that even though we may want to give up, sometimes the things life gives us are not our fault.

freedom in the present

be free. After he is done talking, Dr. Drew starts to analyze his notes. He tells Joey

He tells him to stop worrying about his family; they will be fine, and his father will

realize what he has. Lastly, he tells Joey to let go of his worries, just don’t worry, be

111

happy. These words echoed in Joey’s head.

The next day Joey does what the therapist says, to not worry, but to be happy.

He leaves home without a worry and while walking to school he sees his bully

standing on the corner. He looks sad, like his whole life is crashing down, but Joey doesn’t worry about it, he thinks, whatever happened to him, he deserves it.

His day is normal, there are still some kids bullying him, but he doesn’t let it get to him. Joey continues to be happy—he hears that his bully’s father saw that

his grades were so bad that he was going to repeat that grade, so his father punished him.

Now the bully doesn’t bother anyone. Kids started to see how Joey is always so

happy and they start to talk to him. Shortly after, Joey starts to make friends and his grades get better. A week later, his parents finally get a divorce. Joey is sad

that his father is gone, but he is happy that he doesn’t have to deal with any more of his bullying. Slowly, Joey starts to feel free from the pain of being someone you’re not supposed to be.

About the Author

Ramon Cisneros is from Los Angeles, California, but his family is from Mexico. He is passionate about becoming a fireman, so he can save lives. When he was twelve

years old, his aunt’s house caught on fire. He was burned, but it healed. After that, he decided to become a firefighter. His hobbies are playing video games such as Call of Duty 3, GTA 5, and Persona 5. His role in his group of friends is being quiet,

loud, and just a chill dude. But in his family he is both lazy and quiet like a mouse.

freedom in the present

11 3

Every Life is Worth Living Heidi Chicas

I feel free when I listen to my favorite song, “Que Bonita es Esta Vida” by Jorge

Celedón. In English, the title means “This life is beautiful.” A lot of people think

our world doesn’t have many positive things. They complain a lot. This song

reminds me of a friend who complains about life all the time. He complains about

everything—when it is too cold or too warm. He is unhappy with his family life. He thinks nobody wants him as a friend or son. But as I listen to the song, it reminds

me, “Ay, even if at times it hurts a lot...there is always someone that loves you.”

My friend does not know what he wants. He is very young. There are aspects of

life that are hard, but he doesn’t think about the good things. The song teaches

us, there is always someone who loves us. There is always someone who takes

care of us.

Other people complain that they are ugly and nobody is attracted to them.

They complain that they lack money to enjoy life. They do not know that life is

wonderful and forget the important thing is to see how beautiful it is—to enjoy friends, loved ones, and dear ones. The song shows us the contrast between

seeing how difficult life is and seeing its beauty.

When Jorge Celedón sings, I see that time is in a hurry to delete me from the list, but I tell him quee ayyyyyy...this life is beautiful, even if hurts so much, I feel very

free. Although my friend feels like nobody wants him, I want him to know that

there are always people in this life who love him and will take care of him.

The song is designed to leave us with a message, which is that we should not

About the Author

consistently think negatively about the world around us. We must always find

Heidi Chicas, born and raised in El Salvador, is a friendly, funny, and responsible

song because it points out many beautiful characteristics of life. A beautiful

swimming, which she practiced every day after school to let go of all of her

the positives in our lives because they do exist. I feel a strong connection to this

characteristic in my life is my friend.

freedom in the present

girl. When she moved to the United States in 2016, she developed a passion for

preoccupations. Although she is away from home, when she listens to bachata music, she loses track of time and feels as if she is actually there.

11 5

Awake From What I Was Before Anthony Melendez

I was on the third floor, sitting by the stairs, talking with two friends who were

both named Ashley. Dr. Johnson (Dr. J) came out, and since we were all part of

his “list” of students to handle, he took it upon himself to punish us for ditching.

At the time, Dr. J knew that taking us to the vice principal wouldn’t do anything but send us back to class. Dr. J made us do physical activities. He made us do lunges, spacers, push-ups, curl-ups, and even had us run around the track.

After two weeks, we kind of ended up back where we originally were. We just

To me, gaming was the thing that took a majority of my attention. It helped

vent some of the emotion I was feeling at something other than harming my school life. My PlayStation really got me through this time; it helped me vent some of the anger I faced with my parents splitting. I put in nonstop effort

trying to get all the achievements on the games. That alone distracted me

enough to ignore what was happening. From what I remember, I had to spend

money on three different controllers because I kept breaking them. I also liked to listen to music while I was playing, and that help me calm down. I don’t

know why, but listening to Rock also helped. Like, it hits when the music begins to intensify, then slows. Rock music had its effects on me when it raised and

lowered. During that time, my music taste was different because I listened to more relaxed-type music than now.

tried to keep a better eye out for Dr. J, more than the rest of the staff. He also

At the start of my freshmen year, some of the things my teachers (including

It was my third time in the principal’s office, and I was getting ready to get

middle of tenth grade. So that’s when I began to change and better myself.

stopped lots of the kids who were doing these things from getting expelled.

expelled. Skip forward a few months and we’re going to leave middle school.

After that summer, everything Dr. J said hit me; I was going to have to change the way I did things for high school.

Two years ago, my family was in the middle of splitting, and it kind of took its

toll on me. During this time, I made bad decisions. I skipped school and never went to class. Lots of the teachers tried to help me at the time, because they

noticed that I changed from being an average student to a straight F student. My friends at the time were really supportive, even though I never really told them anything that was happening in my personal life. They knew something was

going on somehow. Now that I look back, some of the things that helped me get through it were gaming, listening to music, and hearing from certain people.

Dr. J) said to me started to make sense, but I didn’t act on their words until the So you can say that’s when I awoke from the ashes, like in my freedom song,

“Angel” by Late Night Savior. My freedom song makes me think about the past and how I could have done things differently. The tone of the song is all over the place. It raises and lowers a lot. While that happens, I start to doze off in

my thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are bad, but sometimes they’re good.

While I’m there, I start to think about why I even did the things I did. One time,

I ditched on top of the cafeteria because the staff was everywhere. Now that I look back at it, it was kind of dumb because I went the extra mile to do that.

No one had ever done that at the time. So, my thought was, “Oh that’d be cool

to do—no one ever done that.” There was another time when I was just walking around the school during class, while the principal was showing the people from the district around campus.

The struggles my family was going through affected me a lot. Some

I’ve since “awakened from the ashes” and matured from what I was before. I show

understandable because of the thing they were going through. Back to

Nowadays when someone does something dumb or something that annoys me,

of my teacher realized this change in me before my parents—that’s

what I was talking about, one of my teachers asked me to stay after class to talk about some stuff. At the time, I didn’t really care about what she

that maturity now with my cousins, brother, and sometimes those older than me.

I tell them straight out the bat. I also don’t get angry as frequently as I did before.

had to say, but I stayed. She started off by saying “ You realize your grades

Compared to what I was before, you can most definitely see a difference in

was something going on at home. Me being dense, I said, “No,” again, and

to not hurt someone, and be respectful towards the person I’m talking to. I let

dropped, right?” and I responded “No.” She then proceeded to ask if there that was end of it. Then two more of my other teachers did the same, but some conversations were longer than the first.

freedom in the present

character now. Now I can hold longer conversations, know what to say in order them say what they’re going to say and wait to give my opinion on the matter.

Personally, from my perspective, you never know what the other person’s

11 7

backstory is, why they think that way they do, and why they have that opinion.

I used to be a little brat, answering back rudely when people talked; I was a

smart mouth. Now I think about things twice before doing them, as sometimes, my actions can be really dumb without me realizing it. It isn’t as bad as it

was back then. As for giving my opinion on stuff, I try to refrain from sensitive topics, or try to figure out the right way to put it, or say “I don’t know what

to tell you.” From those experiences, I’ve learned that being kind can have a bigger impact on other people and yourself.

About the Author

Anthony Melendez is passionate about games and music. He was born and

raised in South Central Los Angeles. He views his home as the Greater Los Angeles Area because he has moved around four times, in and out of Glendale, Denker,

and Watts. He likes going to amusement parks because of the thrill after getting off a ride. He also likes eating out with friends. He loves seafood and Latin foods.

He also likes trying new things, like Japanese, Greek, or unique foods. He likes

being on his phone for Youtube and Netflix. For those who know him, he can be considered a loud mouth, goofy, and argumentative in a conversation.

freedom in the present

11 9

A Day in the Life of a Rider Bryan Ramos

One afternoon, on a sunny day, I grabbed my board and made sure all of the

parts were in place before riding. When I got outside, I heard the cars passing

by and felt the fresh breeze hitting my face. I jumped on my board and started

paddling down the sidewalk. While cruising on my own, there’s not much going through my mind, just the feeling of happiness and being free.

After riding for a while, I smelled some delicious food, so I slowed down to look

around to see where the good smell was coming from. I took a quick stop to get something to eat, then started to ride again, continuing my cruise. A few hours

later, the sun started to get lower and lower, and the sky became dark. I felt the chilliness of the cool air, so it was time to head home. I was riding fast and the

cold air hit my body and face. In my head was that good feeling of being free.

About the Author

Bryan Ramos was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. Bryan likes to ride

his skateboard and play first-person shooter video games in his free time. He’s passionate about developing a close relationship with his family and having

a good time with his friends. He shares his family’s value on education and is

interested in learning about psychology and science. Bryan hopes that readers can connect with what he’s saying and inspire others to do what they enjoy.

freedom in the present

121

What We Forgot Francisco Pedro

My parents came to California to give me the freedom to go to school, to

become someone in life, and to be a better person in the future. In my world, freedom is how you spend your time. I spend my time playing soccer with

Freedom to do anything is something people celebrate. Soldiers fought so the

new generation could have a good life, but sometimes I imagine what it would

have been like if they had never fought for freedom. My parents would have never come here. I probably would not even be here. I would have never met the people I know today. This would’ve even affected my education. This is what the “Star Spangled Banner” means to many people in the world.

people I met over the years. Playing soccer makes me feel free because I have the opportunity to meet people from different parts of the world and learn

about their country and their environment. This helps me realize that we are

lucky to have what we have today, the freedom of becoming anything in life.

Opportunity is freedom, but what is opportunity? The power to have a free

education. It is not being valued by what we look like, but what we are made of.

In my life, I see many people judge others in school. They call others names for their skin color. In the past, color mattered to many people. Even people with

talents did not have the same opportunities for schools and jobs because of

their ethnicity. Now, things are changing. Everyone is allowed to go to school and have the opportunity to become someone in life. The new generation has more freedom to gain opportunities because the older generations fought for them.

Fathers who didn’t go to school have fought their whole lives to give their children the things they need, like food, safety, education, and more

possibilities. But, some of these children don’t take the opportunities their

parents give to them. They fight in school, they create gangs, they kill each other, become smokers, and become bad people. Their parents fought for freedom for them, but they waste it.

Many people say that the “Star Spangled Banner” is just a song. This song has

more meaning to people that lost someone or something that day. People say the song is a big sign of the United States, like the flag. As years have passed, many people have forgotten those who have fought for them.

The “Star Spangled Banner” is a song that relates to freedom, celebration, and happiness.

If they had never won, we would never have what we have today, like the pleasure of being with people we care about and the chance to have good friends.

freedom in the present

12 3

Avoiding the Trap of Teen Pregnancy Miscedes Paxton

Four years ago, five of my family members passed, what seemed like back to

back. One of them who passed was my grandmother, who I was very close to.

Before she passed away, she told me she wanted me to go to college and keep my education. It helped me change. I started doing my work, getting better

grades, opening up, and speaking more, so I could get out there. Now I have a

3.5 GPA and I’ll be able to go to USC or to a Cal State University. I will have more job opportunities, depending on where I go, and I will make more money. The more money I make when I’m older, the more stable I’ll be. I’ll have my own house and maybe kids.

I think my grandmother wanted me to go to college because she never had the chance to go herself. None of her children went, so she wanted me to have that experience. She wanted me to have the benefits of having a diploma and of finishing school with a different point of view.

My grandmother and my mother both had their kids while they were young and

still in school. They both did not really have a chance to finish school. With a baby,

you do not have any freedom to do things for yourself, such as go to parties, hang with friends, or go shopping. They were both left to take care of their children

with little support from family. My mother missed out on high school events as a senior, such as prom, as a consequence of having her first born child—me. She had to take care of her responsibilities first, before she could do anything else.

About the Author

Francisco Pedro was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. He is really

passionate about playing soccer with friends and family. He wants to become someone in life. People think that he is someone with no potential because he

does not like doing work. He was previously published in a book called “Through The Same Halls.” He likes to sleep. In his story, he wants to teach people to not judge others for what they look like, but to learn who they are.

The song I chose to write about that connects to freedom is “Brenda’s Got A Baby” by 2Pac. In the song, he talks about teen pregnancy and how much of an impact a baby can have on a young female who may still be in school, living under her mother’s supervision, not even knowing how to take proper care of themselves yet. Teen pregnancy matters because some families won’t help a young mom support her baby; they don’t want to go through all of that again. Some might

even kick them out, and they won’t have a place to stay. As teenagers, they are

not yet financially stable enough to take care of a child. If they don’t have a place to stay, they might be on the street. The young mom won’t be with her family, or get to know them like she should.

freedom in the present

12 5

This song makes me feel free because while listening, I think of all the

consequences of being locked down and not being able to be free. I think about

being stuck in the house all day and having to care for a newborn child that you

and your “high-school love” were not ready for. It is almost like you’re being locked in a room for half of your life, hearing the cries of a baby, having to feed them

almost every hour. You lose sleep. Me, myself, and I like to go out and sometimes hang with friends. I cannot take a lot of loud noise. The screams would make me

go crazy and leave me discombobulated. I love to sleep. With a child, I would not get much of it. Sometimes the father is maybe in jail or just isn’t around, so they

can’t help. The mothers are left all by themselves to take care of a baby they are not ready for.

Now, I attend class all the time and pay attention. I do my homework and make

sure I turn it in on time. Sometimes when the teacher asks a question, I voluntarily raise my hand to answer or I write my answer on the board. I read and do more

group work, when before I preferred to work by myself. Changing my ways gave me more opportunities towards getting accepted into college. I feel as if more colleges want me to attend their school now because my GPA is higher than most high school students, especially from South Central Los Angeles.

By listening to my grandmother, I have opened up.

About the Author

Miscedes Paxton was born in Inglewood, raised in Compton, and later moved to Los Angeles. Some people may describe her as a smart, goofy and

outgoing person. Outside of school, she spends most of her time playing

video games, doing homework, watching Youtube or Netflix, and sleeping.

She currently has a 3.5 GPA and is prepared to go to college. Miscedes

wants readers to know that you should be free while you have a chance because no one wants to be locked down.

freedom in the present

127

Pitching Curveballs to Expectations Ryan Ruvalcaba

I’ll be flying. I can do it. I’m okay, I don’t need you to breathe over my neck all the time. You don’t have to constantly worry about it. I know you care, but I

know what I’m doing. I know the consequences. I’ve been through it. We were in the car when we found out I wasn’t walking the stage for graduation. That

day, I could hear the pain in your voice and how upset you were. It was a lot to

went to get away from family. They asked me how I felt about it. I trust her.

Hearing my parents pressure my sister instantly reminded me of all the times I was told the same things. You don’t know what that does to somebody.

I can handle one day of this, but seventeen years of being compared to my

siblings, of being told what to do, is too much. Seventeen years of the pressure turns into noise that I’ve learned to tune out. You say you did it for us, but you never expect that I’ll be ready to be on my own. For so long, you’ve told me what to do, but I want to make my own path.

hear that.

So many times, I want to go off on my parents, but I feel like it’s not my place to

Growing up with two older siblings can have its pros and cons, but one thing

what I wouldn’t and shouldn’t do, I feel like screaming sometimes. It’s a lot. I

that can get to you is the pressure of being like them. I have a brother and a

sister; the oldest of the three of us is quite the person to look up to. She went to the University of California, Irvine and obtained her bachelor’s degree.

She’s worked at Disney World, USC, UCI, and has been a TA at an elementary

say anything. Sometimes I keep quiet, but after years and years of being told feel like I’m backstage in my own house, hearing and seeing everything that

happens, but staying quiet. Even when I’m home alone, the pressure is there.

It’s a part of my life.

school; she does not plan on stopping any time soon. My brother went to a

When I’m on my own, with friends, at school, away from my family, I feel free.

into a university. With me about to graduate from high school and enter the

one of us stutters trying to answer. Inside jokes. It’s like everything is fine. For a

community college and straight into the working field. He is working his way real world, the pressure of living up to their names has built up more than ever.

I’m in the car with my mom, going to school. At every stop, she turns to look at

It feels good. Laughing, jokes. Making fun of each other in math class when

while, I don’t even realize I felt this pressure. It’s sometimes easier not to think about it.

me while she’s talking. I’m not saying anything except, “I know, I know, I know.”

I want to make a name for myself in the world, but on my own terms. I joke

Everything was easy, so why did I have to try? I never want to make my mom

Dodgers.

She says, “You obviously don’t, if you keep doing it.” I didn’t try in middle school. upset. She’s the last person I thought I’d hear say I was a disappointment.

about turning pro and looking back on the times here. I’ll be pitching for the LA

Being compared to my brother and sister happens on a daily basis. It’s not

I didn’t even like pitching before. I wanted to be an outfielder ever since I saw

constantly be compared to another person. This life is mine to live, whatever I

but you have too much accuracy to stay outfield.” After that, I tried pitching.

even something they mean to do. I know my parents don’t see it, but it sucks to go through is on me.

I get it. My sister’s done everything. But, I don’t want to follow that. I want to leave my own legacy. It hurts to hear it. I don’t like it.

I know you could do better. I know you could do better. I know you could do better. I know I could do better, and I’m trying.

My sister went to Disney World for an internship. My dad kept saying she only

freedom in the present

my brother launch the ball from the outfield. But he said, “You have an arm I’ve loved it ever since. When you understand the sport, you see the game

differently. Pitching is the greatest feeling ever. Nothing else matters. When I

throw a pitch, it’s all about focus. I focus on the best pitch. Baseball is a mind sport. There’s high-velocity pitches, there’s high-command pitches, high-

control, so you’re able to spin the ball more. With velocity pitches, it’s about overpowering the opposing batter in order to get them out.

When I pitch, I’m not focused on outdoing the other person; I’m focused

on bettering myself. I don’t want to do everything my siblings did. I want to

12 9

become my own person, not become them. My parents tell me to live like them, but I don’t want to be told what to do. With baseball, I don’t have to worry about that; this gives me freedom.

About the Author

Ryan Ruvalcaba grew up on 43rd Street and loves to watch and play baseball.

He first began playing with his brother and has invested countless hours toward becoming a better player. Ryan also enjoys a variety of music genres and is

learning to play the piano. He hopes to make his readers realize that they can always rise beyond expectations and forge their own paths.

freedom in the present

131

Musician Inspiration Derick Howard

I used to be a person that didn’t care at all about anything, because in my

personal life, I was treated badly throughout my education. However, I had a little spark that made me enjoy one specific class instead of just getting over it. The

teacher gave me confidence by believing in everyone. The class was called choir, and it was magical. When I sing, I feel more free, energetic, even truly powerful in that classroom, even though I never sang when I was younger. But then, all of a

sudden, my school decided to change classes for no particular reason. But I was determined to go back to that class no matter what. I was never like that before, but I guess choir makes me feel so free.

I felt sad without being in choir, but I heard about an art program called InnerCity Arts. At first I got a little suspicious, but once I got in the program, I felt the

same feeling as if I was in choir all over again. Coincidentally, the first class was

a music course. Over the couple weeks in that songwriting class the teacher was very encouraging. It was stressful at the same time because although making a

song was cool and all, we had a deadline. Luckily our group managed to succeed

in the very first song that we wrote called “Neverending Mile.” The song was about friendship breakups; it was a bit cheesy, but it was surprisingly good. That was

totally my first time to perform like that. The first time that I performed like that, it

felt so good and everybody clapped. Choir made me the person I am today, and I’m even happier that I got into the advanced group. It felt rewarding, and I don’t think I’d be satisfied if it wasn’t for me going to Inner-City Arts.

When I sing, I feel like I’m in a different world, but when I write music, it’s like making my world.

About the Author

Derick Howard is from Los Angeles. He has faced a lot of problems, but managed to overcome every obstacle thanks to his people and his choir program. He has wanted to be a musician vocalist ever since he joined programs like choir and

Inner City Arts two years ago. Derick is always passionate about being a musician whenever he performs or has fun with it.

freedom in the present

13 3

Woke Up

Melvin De Leon

My passions and dreams have helped me throughout this process. I enjoy

playing video games, which I take very seriously. I always want to be the best.

Video games changed me in some way. I stay at home to play games instead of

going out to do bad stuff out there with crazy friends. I also joined cross-country.

In eighth grade I used to ditch school with my friends. I didn’t care about my

I didn’t like it at first, but it was a way of relaxing. When I run, I can feel the air. It

principal. The school called my parents. When I looked at my parents and

about my future. Getting to the finish line is my goal.

decided to do good in school and my life’s been different ever since. Listening

Last year, I decided to run the LA Marathon. It was an impossible thing to me. Then

talks about reality—about keeping his head high and about how his dreams

but seeing kids that were younger than me running motivated me. The marathon

me of the bad stuff I used to do in middle school. It reminds me that it’s

like they couldn’t function anymore. When I hit the twenty mile mark, I wanted

education until a counselor found weed in my pockets and sent me to the

saw they looked really disappointed, I realized I wasn’t doing the right thing. I

helps me think better. Sometimes, I don’t even get tired because I’m just thinking

to J. Cole’s song “Apparently” makes me remember all that and inspires me. He

I started practicing. Three miles first, adding three miles at a time. It got harder,

can rescue him. I first heard this song when I was in ninth grade. It reminded

was exhausting. The pain in my legs was something I had never felt before. I felt

actually possible to choose good things in life.

to give up. I even started to. But I kept going. I didn’t want to give up on my goal.

I can relate to the lines, ”I keep my head high,” because it reminds me of when I

When I crossed the finish line, I felt good.

began to move forward, forget the past, and focus more on what was coming. I’m

At first I was just thinking about my health. I wanted to find healthier habits

second chance.

that, but it was something new I tried. I was proud of myself. I go to practice

One goal in my life is to make my parents proud. They have always been there

country, I considered myself an athlete. Running was good for my health and I

not ashamed of what happened because we all make mistakes. We all have that

because I was just sitting at home playing video games. I wasn’t a runner like almost every day now. I just keep running and running. When I joined cross

whenever I’ve needed them. They are always nice to me and have never hit me.

learned trying new things is not bad.

talk to me about how doing the right thing has a reward. They are the reason I

Now I go to school, do my work, stay after school for practice, go home, do some

not learn anything. I learned that without school, you won’t be able to become

do more in my day now. Sometimes, when the bell rings, I feel really stressed. But

They have taught me how to value life and want the best for me. They always

want to become something in life. I decided I didn’t want to just go to school and

homework, and play a little. I used to just come to school and go home. I feel like I

someone. It gives you opportunities and the chance to move on. When you see

when I run, everything goes away. It feels like I just woke up.

that chance, you have to go for it.

Freedom is all about hope and perseverance. In my case, it was that. Even

though I did bad stuff in the past, I was able to get out. I knew I still had a lot of

time to change myself. What helped me was the fact that my parents believed in me; they knew I could do the right thing. I felt like a loser. I didn’t want to feel like that. I cared about myself from the bottom of my heart, but maybe I was hanging around with the wrong people. I decided to start doing good and

realized it’s possible to stay away from that. There was hope in my life. If you

don’t have hope, you will always stay in the same place. Hope makes you try and believe that it will work.

freedom in the present

13 5

Finding Faith Richard Mejia

When I was eleven, my mom got sick and was put in the hospital for treatment.

The doctors said that her gallbladder had to be removed. They had to take

out some liquid from a cyst in her pancreas. At this time, me and my siblings, Henry and Giselle, had to stay with my dad until my mom got better and was

out of the hospital. Although my father, my siblings, and I were close, not having my mom around felt different. My mom would always do the cooking and have

it ready for us on time. At my dad’s house, my grandma did the cooking, but she

never had it ready because we had to wait for her to get home. I often visited my

dad at his house, but never for a long time. His house is big. My house was small. I wasn’t free to be myself because everything felt strange.

I struggled to pay attention during school. I just kept thinking about the

whole thing. I wondered how everything was going to turn out. Every time the thought came to my mind, it distracted me from doing my work, and I just

wanted to have my head down. When I got home and had to do my homework, it always took me some time to finish it because I always thought about the situation. I felt trapped by all of these bad thoughts and the feeling that I

couldn’t finish anything. I lacked freedom. But I had to push through and trust that everything would be okay.

It was important to have faith in this situation because I didn’t want to think

negatively about it. I wanted to be positive and to have a thought of “It will all

be okay.” No one gave me the advice of having faith, so I had to find out on my About the Author

Melvin De Leon was born in Los Angeles, California. He loves playing video games and is proudly undefeated. Last year, he ran the LA Marathon for the first time.

Melvin loves his parents as much as they love him; his parents support him in

everything. Melvin likes to write stories. His first story was about his life growing up in Los Angeles and the lessons you learn through making mistakes.

own. I remember walking into the hospital room, seeing her laying on the bed. I

sat down in a little seat next to her. I gave her a hug and said, “Hola.” I sat there, and I was just thinking like, “Will she be alright?” Her friends, my grandparents, my brother, and my sister were there. They were talking to my mom and I was just sitting there, paralyzed, listening and thinking at the same time. It hurt to see her like that, and the hurt made it impossible to interact with her in the way that the others were. You know how a voice sounds when you feel like

crying, but you don’t? That’s how she sounded, and I started to tear up, but then I realized that she was smiling the whole time because everyone was there supporting her. Seeing her smile gave me hope that everything was going to be fine, and she would get through it.

freedom in the present

137

I watched my mom hustle throughout her sickness to get better and get out of the hospital. I know that she worked hard to recover. Having faith in my mom

taught me that hustling will help me out in the future. I will work hard for my family and for myself to achieve my goals to be successful. I know that by me hustling, I will get a lot of respect. Hustling will make me feel free because I will be doing

what I love to do and seeing my family happy will make me happy. It encourages me to keep working hard and grinding hard for them like I know they will for me.

I know that my mom feels great not having to be in that situation anymore. I

know that she feels free again. My mom had to hustle even after getting out of

the hospital. She still had to work hard in order for us to eat and have a place to live when, at the same time, she worked on recovering from her sickness. This

made me learn that hustling isn’t something that comes easily. You have to work hard in order to get what you want. I know that I will be hustling for my mom, like

she did for me. This helped me learn that freedom means putting in hard work to get through hard things in life and that hustling can help me be free from stress.

The bad thoughts and feelings that kept me from concentrating on anything

are gone, no longer trapping me. The most important lesson I learned from that

situation is that life will throw many obstacles in your way, but you just have to get through them all to be free.

About the Author

Richard Mejia likes to play basketball with his friends in his free time. He played

for the Manual Arts Varsity basketball team where he excelled in ball-handling

and three-point shooting. He was born and raised in South Central Los Angeles.

He’s interested in hip hop music, specifically the rapper Eminem because he likes the way his music tells stories. In his professional life, Richard hopes to become a private investigator or a diesel truck mechanic.

freedom in the present

13 9

Baby Steps Toward Independence Christopher Mares-Franco

What’s blocking your Freedom? It may be a medical condition, homework, or

My mom’s favorite is my brother, so I’m like a shadow of his. My shadow is halfway to the light, halfway to the dark. As for the light, I do try to seek my satisfaction,

and my mom does help me sometimes. My parents are not horrible. I don’t want to talk about my parents being bad; they do continue to push for what’s best for me, even if I get annoying or act like a bad kid. I do love my parents.

emotional feelings that stop you. It’s different for everyone. As for me, it is my

The shadow is in the dark sometimes, because when I do things to make my mom

but their expectations on me or telling me the things I should do in my life, but

that’s okay. I do have friends and a girlfriend to help keep dark thoughts away. I’m

family. It is the way my family is blocking my freedom. Don’t take it in a bad way, don’t want to do, make me unfree.

The song “Cough Syrup” by Young the Giant affects me in a way where I can

relate. Sameer Gadhia, the lead singer of the band, told us a part of his story. In the first verse of the song, he says, “life’s too short to even care at all.” What he

meant by this is that you should do the things that you want to do and not look back to see the consequences. Gadhia wrote this song when he dropped out

of Stanford to pursue something he loved to do—play music. Once he dropped

happy, I feel like no one else notices. In this shadow, I’m alone in my thoughts, but the type of person to not really talk about my problems because I feel confident that I can solve them on my own. However, doing this, I end up distancing

myself from my friends. I care for my friends. I could talk to my friends about

their problems and hope I could make them better, and I would put my friends

before myself. My mom knows I’m her third, much better-looking, younger child.

I don’t like struggling. I always like to think about the present moment, instead of worrying about what’s going to happen. Living in the moment is my freedom.

out to do music, the people around him started staring at him and judging his

I need to do the things I want to do, not what my mom, dad, brother or anyone

song, it hit me, and I began to realize that I needed to live my own life, despite

disapproves. My family is Christian, and they heavily rely on religion. They expect

actions. He started to question every move he made. The first time I heard the other people’s judgment.

Last month, my mom wanted me to go to church for a youth service. I didn’t want to go because every time I go, I end up questioning everything about my life. I

don’t like to second guess my decisions; it overcomplicates things. I understand

my mom is doing things she thinks are best for me, but she needs to understand that I’m more mature than she thinks I am. I don’t want judgement, but it’s

inevitable. My mom has an understanding of what’s best, but I can do what’s best for me. When my parents put faith in me, it will be my freedom.

The similarity between my freedom and this song is the constant judging and

controlling of people’s words or stares; this is why he sang, “these zombies in the

park they’re looking for my heart”. The emotion of the artist is pain and confusion because of the constant judgment he got for dropping out of school to pursue a

else wants me to do. I need to do what makes me happy, even if my family

me to do what they want me to do. “I want you to go to college,” is one of the

things they would say to me. The funny part is that I chose to go to college; I found a college out of state that I like, but they said I can’t go to that college because it’s too far. They said I need to find a college that is closer to the family. The majority of the time, my family contradicts themselves. They limit my freedom to make mistakes and discover the real definition of life.

The way to real freedom is when parents accept the decisions of their child and let them take risks. Eventually, they will learn from their mistakes. Every

parent wants their child to be the ideal child. No children are the same; they

all come in different shapes and sizes with unique dreams they want to follow.

Nobody wants to die with regrets. I would want to die peacefully, believing I lived life to the fullest and died satisfied.

dream which people doubted he would achieve. This connects with me in my life because I think to myself if this is for myself or if deep down I’m just doing things

to satisfy my parents. This also applies not just to me, but also to the people who have the same situation as me or even worse. I want them to know to just live your life and do the things that make you happy—don’t live with regrets.

freedom in the present

141

Valuable Pain and Happiness Shawnece Gipson

Freedom. Freedom is a strong word, strong as the words love and hate, but

never really recognized for being as strong. My freedom has to do with music.

Music is freedom. I love music because everyone in my family creates music: my dad, before he passed, and my stepdad, who wants to be a producer. I feel free

listening to music because people put what they feel in a song. I feel like I can do the same thing. Sometimes, the things they say in songs help me.

The song “Butterflies” by Queen Naija helped me through a breakup. She talked about how she was afraid to fall so fast, but how she moved on to someone better. It gave me hope to find somebody new who would make me happy.

Sometimes, when I listened to the song, I would cry. I cried almost every day. I put so much time, energy, and love into my relationship with him. For him to do what he did hurt me badly. Later—it made me happy.

I can relate a lot to NBA Young Boy’s “Valuable Pain.” The way he talks and some of the lyrics: “Told you I’d do anything for you, I just don’t know what they want. And I

wasn’t frontin’ when I told you I love you [...] you the only one that I want.” I like that he’s saying exactly what I want to tell the person that I broke up with; I could play it outside of his house, so he could know how I feel, so he could hurt how I hurt.

First NBA Young Boy talks slowly, then starts cussing, goes off in anger, and lets the anger out. I’d listened to NBA Youngboy all the time, but when he made this song catching exactly how I felt, it made me listen to him even more.

Both songs show a side of me that I am afraid to show or talk about. One side is About the Author

Christopher Mares-Franco was born and raised in Los Angeles, California,

and grew up as the youngest in a family of five. Chris stays busy all year long, playing soccer, tennis, and running cross country for his school team. He has

been published in the Young Researchers’ Program at the University of Southern California and in the Toiler Times. He wants his readers to learn that the true meaning of independence is to take risks and to follow your dreams.

angry, the other is my nice, soft side. That’s why music is my freedom. I can write a song and express how I feel and have people relate to it. I don’t have to say

my name. I don’t have to mention anyone. I just have to tell stories of what I’ve

experienced, what I’m experiencing, and what I wish to experience. For example, if I were to write a song now, I would write about how bad my breakup was, how I would never go back, and how I am moving on to be happy. I feel like a lot of

people are going through things like that. I know it would appeal to a large crowd. I

would tell a lot of young women my same age to move on—that there is hope. They have a whole future ahead of them, so there’s no need to worry about the past.

I would have the power to trigger emotions for a lot of people through a song.

I used to share my music with my family. They loved it. Although I feel I am

freedom in the present

14 3

too shy to pursue a music career, I feel like if I start making music, it will make me feel free. It will give me some type of freedom. It will make me feel free

because music is a large industry; it would make me feel really happy knowing I’m a part of something so large that has been around for such a long time and that will last forever.

If there were no such thing as music, I would have a bad way of expressing

myself. I would have never overcome my hurt. If it were not for these artists, I would not know how to express my hurt, my love, and my feelings to him. My

feelings would hide out in my heart and stay there. I would fall into depression and never get out of a place where I store my feelings about things that

happened in the past, things happening now, and things that I am afraid will

happen. Depression blocks freedom. It keeps you from prospering in the future.

It scares you and holds you back from greatness and being who you really are.

It is something someone should never endure. If you have to deal with it alone, music will help you. Music does not get rid of depression, but it helps soothe certain side effects that come with it.

About the Author

Shawnece Gipson was born in Gardena, raised in Los Angeles. She knows how to

sing R&B songs very well, especially “Faithful” by Phora. She is very good in English and knows a very good amount of Spanish. She is muy talentosa. Born July 21,

2001, her sign is Cancer. She loves that she is a water sign and was born in the

summer because she likes to do activities, like going to water parks and parties.

freedom in the present

14 5

Faith in God for a Brighter Future Dayri Perez

My mother is the strongest woman I know. She is a very positive person. Every time I feel like things aren’t going to go well, or I’m anxious about the future,

she always says, “Primeramente Dios.” There is nothing that is not impossible for her. She always finds a way to get through everything.

leave everything in His hands because we believe he never fails.

We recently moved to a new apartment. We’re all so happy to finally be

together and have a normal life without my mother going through so much.

This song triggers me to think about my family. It makes me feel free because no matter what we go through, everything will be fine if we let God guide

us and never lose faith. Having faith gave my mom strength to get through

everything. I will continue having faith because if it gave my mother freedom, it will give me freedom as well.

Her name is Ana. She was born and raised in Guatemala. She doesn’t talk

about her home much—she doesn’t miss it at all. She didn’t have her own

mother at her side to look after her and show her what was good and what was bad. My mother had her first child at a very young age. She was just

fourteen years old when she gave birth to my older brother Ludvin. My father was never around. As the years passed, my mother had more kids, and took care of all six on her own, with no help from my dad.

She came to the United States for a better future for all of us. Coming here changed all our lives. New opportunities came our way along with some

challenges. We had a better education and a better lifestyle, but we had to work hard for everything. My mother had to work and take care of us. Some

struggles my family and I had were finding a place to settle down for good. By sustaining faith in God, we finally found a place.

My mother always maintained faith through everything she’s gone through.

Watching my mother stay strong and having faith ‘til this day shows me

how strong of a woman she is. She showed me having faith in God is very

important. I’ve learned a lot from her, and it has helped me to do good in the future.

Whenever I l listen to the song “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)” from Hillsong UNITED, I think about what me and my family have gone through and how

we’ve always maintained faith. We’ve never given up on what we wanted to accomplish. This is a Christian song. The artist talks about how we can call

upon God’s name and he’ll always be there for us, no matter what—how God

has never failed, and he won’t start now. You just have to always keep faith, no

matter how serious the situation is. All my life, my family and I always had faith in God, no matter what we went through. We never give up on Him. We always

freedom in the present

147

Half Story

Elizabeth Isidro

When my dad passed away, I was sixteen. It was then that my dad’s family

started talking bad about me. They’d say I was going to become an alcoholic,

drug addict, and that I was going to be in the streets wandering around. When my mom told me, I couldn’t believe my own family was talking bad about me.

I decided to show my family they were wrong. I am eighteen years old. I’m about to graduate high school in three months.

Sometimes I want to prove they are wrong, but at the same time I don’t. I want to do all this for me because this is my future—not theirs. I have my mom’s support. I’m doing this for my own good and not to show others what I’m

capable of. I will always stand up and never give up. Nothing is easy in life, but I know that I can make my dreams come true.

The song called “Stand Up” motivates me to never give up, to always think

positively, and never negatively. I’m the kind of person that, if I fail, I’ll keep

going no matter how long it takes to accomplish my goals. I’m aware when

I need help and ask questions if I don’t understand something. I don’t care if people laugh or stare at me in class.

Never let someone destroy your dreams; focus on yourself. Don’t let others

brainwash you. You have the freedom to do whatever you want. If you want to

ask questions, or if you need help, go for it. At the end of the day, you’re the one that is going to succeed. You should follow your goals to become the major About the Author

Dayri Neyeli Perez was born in Guatemala and raised in Los Angeles, California,

after immigrating to the United States when she was four. Dayri spends most of

her time after school playing center forward for the Girls’ Varsity Soccer team at

person you want to become. It won’t be easy, but nothing is easy in life. You

may have your struggles, but it’s normal to have those struggles in the real

world. You’ll have more than one struggle. You’ll have many. You may have a hard time, but that’s the only way you’ll learn.

Manual Arts High School, as well as for an outside soccer league. Dayri wants her

I have a quote that helps me stay focused: “Think positive and never give

God and letting him guide you.

about the song and this quote. The words make me think twice before giving

readers to learn that you can overcome anything by always maintaining faith in

up.” The secret to our success is that we never, never give up. I always think

up and throwing everything in the trash. Those words have helped me make

things better when I was about to give up. Deep down, I knew giving up would be a mistake. All this motivates me to succeed in life: to go to college and not be scared of the real world. Everything is going to be fine. It might be

freedom in the present

14 9

complicated, but that’s how life is. School is not the only place you can fail; you fail everywhere because everywhere you go you learn new things. You might

not do it right the first time, and that’s okay. You stand up and keep trying. We should all have that in our minds.

When my dad died, it wasn’t difficult to keep going because he taught me

to be strong. He said, if he died, to always focus on school. I realized he was

preparing me for the real world. Even though I was sad, I knew I had to move on for my mom and for my own good. I knew that crying wouldn’t bring him

back. It is difficult to accept the life I have now, but I have to stay at this new school and do my best.

I just moved to Manual Arts after I moved from West Adams. I never thought my life would change in one second. I never knew I was going to move schools, so

now I don’t feel comfortable here. It has brought on even more changes in my life.

Even though I’ve met new friends and they are great people, I would rather go back to my old school because that was my home school and it was smaller.

It’s been hard for me to stay at this school and to do a lot of work to graduate,

but I won’t give up. Before my dad died, I told him I was going to graduate, get my diploma, and go to college. I was going to keep my life going no matter what.

Sometimes when I wake up, I feel like my dad will be there, telling me he is

proud of me for going this far. I know that’s not going to happen, but I am still going to keep my promise.

About the Author

Elizabeth Isidro was born and raised in Mid-City. She has lived in the same house her whole life. She is proud of getting an honor roll certificate and not giving up her success at school. She hopes the reader can understand that one can still

face their challenges, even if life is hard and always coming up with new rules.

She listens to music every day after school as her one and only way to relax and to forget about sad things. As the only child, her mom focuses on her a lot and leads her on a good path.

freedom in the present

151

Before I Even Knew I Wasn’t Free Reanna Polk

I was only four months old and my life completely changed. Everyone thought I

would be just a perfect, healthy baby, until I had a major attack. I had an asthma attack and a seizure at the same time. My father was the only person to contact

I am independent. I make myself dentist and doctor appointments. I don’t like

asking people for help because I want to know I have control. I get my own hair done, I cook for myself, and I buy my own groceries. I save up my money and

budget it; my family gives me enough to save up and buy the things. My mom

knows I do my own things and lets me do what I do. When I make mistakes she helps me, like when I quit my job. She helped me try to go back and ask for a second chance, but I didn’t want to. I am learning how to be responsible.

me as I was reaching for God’s help. “Please wake up,” my father said with watery

“I’ll rise up, and I’ll do it a thousand times again.” The song “Rise Up” by Andra Day

died. It made me feel broken. I couldn’t control my actions or health, and I was so

make me feel like I can have hope after going through many hardships, going

eyes and a raspy voice. My family always tells me the stories of the times I almost young. I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to take the pain. I couldn’t run at school

or with friends, they were always waiting for me. I felt left out, I couldn’t do all the

takes me back to when I was young, to before I even knew I wasn’t free. The lyrics through pain even before I could talk.

things everyone else would do. I couldn’t go outside because I had to hook up to

At the beginning of high school, I decided to make a change because I felt like I’d

getting more asthma juice, that pink package of juice I had to put in the machine.

and now my life is so much better. Now that I’m free I would like to try new things.

the breathing machine. I was at the hospital every other week getting check ups,

been holding back my life instead of challenging it. I took a chance and went for it,

I was almost taken when I was still an infant at two months old, riding down

I was too young to make a difference for myself. I couldn’t join sports, so I

get a couple of snacks, but we didn’t expect what we had gotten into. Shots

finishing out the year. I became the best cheerleader on the team and got

South Central in the car blasting music. We pulled over by a liquor store to

started firing away; we were under attack from places we couldn’t even see,

dodging metal bullets from everywhere in the streets. My mom looked up and made eye contact for one that was aiming towards me. My mother jumped

up and took it for me, a bullet to the chest. Blood all over me. I first heard this

story when my cousin told me. I was mad at my mom and saying things that

I shouldn’t have been saying, and my cousin told me I shouldn’t feel that way

because my mom took a bullet for me. I was in elementary school and I kept it in me, I was shocked, and I felt ungrateful. I noticed the scar on her chest that

day when I went home because she was wearing a tank top. I knew it was true.

I’ve never talked to her about it, but it makes me sad. I worry about how that

affects her, because I know she gets cramps at the wound. If it wasn’t for me,

then she wouldn’t have gotten shot, it’s my fault. But she survived, and so will I. Being young and being on the brink of death makes me feel the need to never give up on myself because God didn’t give up on me and gave me another

chance at my heart. I could have just stayed home and kept to myself, but I

wanted to open up more and find myself, something that brought out the real me. I learned my limits and how to control my health. I drink water to help my throat clear, I don’t do drugs, and I stay away from people who smoke.

freedom in the present

tried cheer, but because I had to run laps there, too, I got tired, and quit after weekly awards as spirit leader, most improved. But, I felt like I couldn’t handle it; it was too much pressure, and I got too tired. It made me not want to try

other things. In high school I heard about student council and decided to join because I wanted to make a change in my life. I saw it as an option to enjoy

myself and get involved. We plan events for the school, like movie night and

door decorating contests. I like it because I can be myself, I feel free. I don’t talk a lot in other spaces because I am shy. In student council, I feel comfortable because we don’t bring each other down, we support each other, and we’re

friends. They help me talk out loud and now I’m going to run for president next year. I started off small, announcing small things on the microphone, but I’m ready for big changes.

“Rise Up” really helped me overcome the issues that I’ve had. It helps me

remember to never give up on myself or my mother. Now that I’m older, I can control my health by going to doctor appointments, eating healthy, doing

things that I need to do. I feel independent now that I can control my life. My

future will be simple and healthy, and I will keep looking forward towards my better life. I say “for my mother” because I feel like if I was a healthy baby,

everything would’ve been better for her; she wouldn’t have to worry about me

15 3

every night, losing rest and stressing.

Not everyone is born perfect, but you get chances to make yourself perfect,

chances to change your life. You will receive silent messages that will give you good advice for you to go for anything. If you don’t believe you can do it, just know that you are built for it, and you can do it.

About the Author

Reanna Polk was born in South Central and raised in Moreno Valley. She moved to San Bernardino, then came back to South Central. She has been through many

health complications throughout her life. However, she learned to get through the issues, became successful, and raised up. Reanna is glued to her smartphone

daily, listening to R&B music. Texting is her priority. When she’s not texting, she is being a scholar on the Manual Arts High School campus.

freedom in the present

15 5

Whole Lotta Freedom Luis Carpio

When I was down bad, no one gave me a handout, and I never had to ask for none. It has always been just me. I am independent because I choose to be. My

parents raised me to not have to work as hard as them. Little moments, like when I didn’t have enough money or when I started to want things, made me realize I needed to get things on my own. It feels better when I can buy my own stuff. I

knew that eventually I’d have to get used to it, so I started getting my own money.

When I take responsibility and I’m not struggling anymore, I can feel Playboi Carti’s “Long Time” in my soul. This song shows anything can change in a

matter of time. Some aren’t willing to do the work and expect the results of

those who are straightforward about their futures. But it’s only right to step up when it’s just you making your own decisions. It’s always best to never give up to achieve success.

people are doing or what they think is good for you. You have to work for your own freedom—to not worry or rely on something or someone. I could get a

part-time and someone might just think I don’t have it as good as them, but

I’m still earning money my way. Or I could get a low grade on something and

get called out for it by other classmates because they got a better score, but I always focus on what I could do better next time.

Whenever the song comes on my playlist, it makes me feel free. It lasts for as

long as the song does. When I’m by myself with my earphones blasting late at night, it really does something. Although I can’t relate to the lavish rapper life, I feel as if I can relate to some of the struggles Carti went through. In middle school, I couldn’t walk the stage because all I did during school was mess

around. Carti brings up “No cap and gown I ain’t go to class, I rather die before

I come in last.” I can relate to that. Carti got to graduate high school and I plan on doing that as well—pursuing my own freedom where I don’t have to worry about anything. Of course everybody has to start at the bottom, but I see myself there, working towards the top.

When I listen to “Long Time,” it reminds me that no matter what you want in

life, it will always take a certain amount of time to get where you want to be.

This song kicks off Carti’s debut album with an ode to both his year-long break from music and the lifestyle he now lives, able to enjoy the luxuries of being a successful rapper. Most people talk about making it as if it can only be a dream they’re working towards.

This song’s beat keeps the mood high. I like Carti for his confident delivery

and the beats that compliment them. To be fair, you have to have a high IQ

to understand Playboi Carti, since the lyrics are extremely subtle and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics, most of the lyrics will go over a typical

listener’s head. That said, most of the track is the hook—the simple phrases

catch the listener’s attention. When I bump it, some friends just don’t get it—

they probably just listen to Drake and that’s it. They don’t branch out to other artists that have a different way of coming off.

Another line that catches my attention is “I’d rather get caught with it than without it.” I have a lot of interpretations of that line: some people can’t

stand to see you accomplish something and will always downplay your

accomplishments for what you worked towards. At the end of the day, it’s all on what you want and what you are willing to work for—not on what other

freedom in the present

157

About the Author

Luis Carpio was born and raised in East Atlanta. Moving to Los Angeles in

2008 was a big change, but he has adapted. Luis is most passionate about

designed clothes that he finds at Saks Fifth Avenue. His favorite car is the 2019 Dodge Hellcat SRT. He enjoys being a positive influence as a role model to his friends because he wants to see everybody win. This is his third time being published with 826LA.

freedom in the present

15 9

“Freedom is the relieving feeling of the heavy chains being removed from my

wrists and waist, but not just me, not just

the people I know, but the children I have

yet to meet. I have nothing to lose but my chains.”

FREEDOM and future

161

Visions of Tomorrow: When All Our Children are Free Tania Sanchez

Freedom, to me, comes in many forms. One is listening to “Mystery of Iniquity” by

Lauryn Hill. This song not only makes me feel free, but takes me to a place where I

am free. A place without the burden of our chains, that while not real, still hold me down—hold us back. My home is not free, the only streets that I know by name— the streets of South Central Los Angeles. Sounds of choppers, sounds of bullets,

songs of violence, cries of police sirens recruiting anyone who looks like me to be convicted felons, only myths of freedom.

I often think about what my life would be like without the constant oppression, the constant fear. My father, uncles, cousins not being incarcerated—being

ripped from my life, my dad missing my first words, my uncle missing my first five birthdays, my first five Christmases, my cousins and I growing distant, not being as close as I imagine family to be, should be.

This song (its words, the feelings it shares) takes me to a place ten, twenty years from now, where I/we are free. The smell of fresh air, non-polluted, sounds of

children playing, not crying because mama can’t afford food anymore, voices of our landlords telling us our rent is paid on time, conversations of minimum wage being enough to fuel a human life. Where we aren’t just being told we’re free, but we’re equal and feeling free, and treated as such. Not living in fear of master-

manipulators using the media as their puppet. To stop being masqueraded as criminals and people to be feared, when we should be portrayed as people to

be freed. Freed from fear, fear of having the lives we built, the communities we

brought up, being stripped from us. Fear of our children and our children’s children

About the Author

still living in oppression, fear, and discrimination. The fear of losing opportunities.

Tania Sanchez, a writer, a woman of color, an activist, a poet, a Virgo, and an

Why should we be paraded as criminals and treated as such to make the public

parents from El Salvador and Guatemala. She values freedom for all. She has

powers in charge of this “land of the free?”

indigenous roots. When she feels like she cares too much, a few things that keep

feel safe? What about our safety? Why should we be publicly demeaned by the

all together amazing person, was born with indigenous roots, to immigrant

faced multiple obstacles, like not being raised learning and appreciating her

her going are her vision of the future and the freedom she hopes to help build.

Freedom to me is about feeling safe. Right now I live in a world where I don’t feel free; I don’t feel safe. Freedom is the relieving feeling of the heavy chains being

removed from my wrists and waist, but not just me, not just the people I know, but the children I have yet to meet. I have nothing to lose but my chains.

freedom and future

16 3

Escaping the Pain Jesus Concha

My dad is in prison. He’s been locked up since I was five. Sure, I’m free on the

outside. But inside, I’m in chains, like my dad. I talk to my dad once in a while,

but hardly visit him. There are a lot of reasons we don’t see each other much.

Transportation is the biggest challenge. The last time we saw each other

was about three years ago. I remember the day of the visit. Bag check by the guards, take off shoes, warnings, rules to enter visiting area. It was a happy

moment in the visiting room, crowded and loud. I felt tears form in my eyes.

We hugged each other. “How’ve you been?” asked my dad. We took pictures and had ice cream. The visit went by fast. I live with my grandparents who

push me to do well in school. “School is your future,” they tell me. I struggle

with motivation. I need my dad to be the person pushing me to succeed. The

moment, sometime in the future, when I watch my dad walk out of the prison gate, is the moment I will be truly free. We will both be free.

About the Author

Jesus Concha is seventeen years old. He was born September 22, 2001. Jesus was born and raised in Southern California. He is passionate about the way he looks

and the way he feels. He feels better and looks better when he has a haircut, and

he isn’t himself when he doesn’t have a haircut. The role he plays with friends is to push them and make sure they don’t make the same mistakes he made before.

The plan is to learn from the mistakes and to become a better person in life.

freedom and future

16 5

When I Stood Up for E.S.J.S. Paulina Espinoza

I see my personal definition of freedom as a successful, achieved, independent woman who had to go through some emotional and mental challenges. What I

feel blocks freedom is having people that you can’t really get rid of. It just drags you down from your own success.

I was nine years old when I first called the police on my dad. It was after a fight.

Me and my two younger siblings just wanted it to end. I didn’t know what to do, so

my first instinct was to call 911 for help. I knew what the consequences were going to be and had to think about what would happen after the action I was about to take. Because of my decision to involve the authorities, my dad refuses to speak

to me now. And he left. I stood up to him in order to protect myself and my family.

This decision made me mature at a young age. And I’m okay with that. I stood

up to my abusive, alcoholic father in order to protect myself and my family. This decision made me mature at a young age.

Freedom is something I am still working towards, but I know I will get it. The

events that happened in my life have shaped me into the person I am today, and motivate me to further my education. I wanted discipline and structure in my life, so I spoke with a United States Marine Corps recruiter. I want the dynamic of how the Marines work as a team and how much pride they have in themselves as an

institution. It makes me want to join something bigger than myself. My household required me to think critically and communicate with other people. Not having

the “best” childhood has done me good: I know what I want and don’t need. Being able to call myself a United States Marine is a goal that I am currently going for, and in a few weeks I’ll be taking the first step to becoming one. By becoming a

Marine, I’ll be free: I’ll be able to take care of my family emotionally, physically, and financially.

About the Author

Paulina Maria Espinoza-Baez was born in East LA. Paulina is very passionate about her involvement in the Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps. After

graduation, she will head off to the Marine Corps boot camp. Paulina runs

often in her free time to maintain endurance in preparation for bootcamp. She is very proud of her two siblings, Saul and Esperanza, for doing well in school because she knows how hard and stressful school can get. She is also very

lucky to have her two younger siblings, Julieta and Samuel, who always greet her with a smile when she gets home.

freedom and future

167

First Call

Daniel Mendez

When I play an instrument, like guitar, or when I make music on my laptop, I make

my own riffs. However, I believe what stops me from advancing my goals is feeling like I’m already an expert in music. I get too comfortable with what I already know.

When I listen to music, I remember all the videos I watched on YouTube to learn how to use FL Studio, the program I use for producing music. In this work, Sonny Digital talks about what he had to go through to achieve his goals.

I remember when I got into high school, I got a laptop. I installed FL Studio. I had no idea how to even start. I started watching YouTube videos about it and then

learning about music by watching hours of YouTube videos on music theory and professional music production.

The first time I went to an actual studio was about a year ago with my brother

and cousins. I noticed that all the switches and knobs in the room were pointless.

Everything we needed was on our laptop.

One day I want to be able to live off of my music. This is my dream. When I achieve it, I believe I will be free. I know that I have worked hard to get to where I’m at, and although I know I have a long way to go, when I do achieve my dream, all of my hard work will have paid off. Until then, I will have to keep working on my music and learning more about it, so I can make even better music.

made my own music with the little knowledge that I had. First, I made a complete beat with a hook, an intro, and a verse. When I listened to it for the first time, I

knew it didn’t sound that great. I heard it and I remembered my brother’s beats.

I remember he told me how he had felt when he first started. He had a goal and wanted to get his name out there, so he kept trying.

So I kept trying. I wanted to hear something I created. It took a couple months to recognize I was getting better at it. I would start EQing, making the sound

work at a certain frequency, so it wouldn’t clash with the other sounds, like bass, melody, or drums. I started to learn more about making melodies and about

effects producers use. I learned how they laid out their beats. Laying out beats is like creating a floorplan for a house. When I create my floor plan, I make sure

everything is perfectly on time. When I make music, I want to construct a castle. I learned how to make my music sound more professional.

After a couple of months, I showed my brother. I remember him saying how much I’d improved. He told me, “I remember making beats for a couple of years and only then was I just starting to get really good. Seeing you really improve in a small time is great.” I thought to myself, “Dang, that’s crazy.”

When I had a good amount of knowledge of how to make music, I stopped

learning about it because I thought I already knew more than enough to make

what I wanted. Around the time I started to get serious about music, I heard an album by a producer who had worked with 21 Savage and other new artists.

When I listened to his first song, I started thinking about where I wanted to

be in my music and how I wanted to go about getting there. I wanted to keep

freedom and future

16 9

Sometimes a Song Can Change Everything Christopher Ayala

In the beginning of twelfth grade, the pressure hit me: SATs, applying to

colleges, having to practice for choir, studying for tests. In each one of my

classes, we had to write an essay! And then there were senior portfolios. In

order to graduate from Manual Arts High School, one has to present a portfolio of what they’ve done, including why they feel they should get to walk across the stage. This portfolio, which I am currently working on, makes me think of all the work I have done, and this process shows me how hard I worked. But

working through it has been a stressor in its own right, for if I don’t finish it, I

won’t be able to cross the stage. This is a lot of work and often gets to the point where every time I think of working on it, my heart drops. I feel scared, and

this fear paralyzed me because I think, “what’s the point?” and from there my thoughts begin to spiral out: “I won’t get to finish the portfolio. I just want to give up. I won’t get to finish school. I just want to give up.”

One day, I was coming from the college center where students go to research the colleges they are planning to attend, and I was told of all the things I had to do to

apply. It stressed me a bit because of the short amount of time I had to finish and turn it in. I thought about these applications the entire day and nothing else, not

even the footsteps I was taking to class. I was nervous I wasn’t going to finish the applications or get accepted to any of the colleges I was applying for.

When I walked into my my choir class, we were preparing for a concert, and we About the Author

Daniel Mendez is a self-taught music producer from Los Angeles. He spends his

time learning about different methods people use to produce music, specifically hip-hop. He plays guitar and is proficient with FL Studio. One day, Daniel hopes to make a job out of making music. Daniel’s favorite artists are Bones, Pouya, and

Xavier Wulf. He spends a lot of time playing video games, like RainBow Six Siege.

He also loves eating the wings at Tam’s Burgers. In his essay, Daniel relates to

“We don’t believe you” by Bones, in which the artist talks about working hard to achieve his goals; when Daniel achieves his goals, he will feel free.

were practicing two songs. One was called “Oye,” which is a Spanish/English

song talking about people’s voices being heard. The teacher then explained that we were singing this song, “Oye,” to show what was going on at the Mexican/

American border with immigration problems. When I sang the lyrics for the song, it made me think of people by the border, fighting to get into America.

These people were fighting to realize the dream I am living. But my reality is not so simple. It’s filled with stress and worry, even though I’m getting a great education and have a good life as an American student. But I’m not worried about basic survival, which is what drives the people to our Southern borders. Some day,

many of these people will be me, and my privileged stress will seem like paradise compared to what they are running from now.

freedom and future

171

The Walk to Peace Alexander Guevara

In the hood, things happen that you are not ready for, such as killing and getting robbed by gangsters. There are problems of struggle, oppression, and inequity.

“Victory Lap” by Nipsey Hussle speaks facts about the hood and what goes on

there. Nipsey has been in and out of the hood; he’s seen a lot. I will tell my story through his lyrics and address all of these problems. It is important that he

speaks about this because people listen more to music than read the news. The news doesn’t even cover all of the things I’m talking about.

The first struggle that Nipsey raps about is violence on the streets. In the song he says, “Last night, it was a cold killin’.” This shows violence on the streets,

because all people in the hood hear are gunshots, choppers, and cop cars

speeding. When my brother goes out at night, it worries me because I wonder if my brother will get shot. This blocks my freedom; I have to look both ways

on the street because I don’t know who might rob or shoot me. As a result, my

pursuit of freedom involves not living in a tough neighborhood and leaving the struggle of violence by playing soccer or getting a degree at a university. The degree will be the main thing.

The other big problem is oppression where I live; cops just want to mess around with you for no reason. In the song, Nipsey says, “I’m an Urban legend, South

Central in a certain section... can’t express how I curbed detectives.” For example, a cop stopped me by my house for no reason, thinking I was from a gang. I was

walking to the corner, about to get picked up by my brother, and the cop just kept About the Author

Christopher Ayala, class of 2019, was born and raised in Los Angeles. He

enjoys listening to oldies, pop music, singing in his school choir, and playing

sports. His favorite hobby is playing the drums. This is his second time being

mad dogging me. The cop made a U-turn and stopped me. He patted me down and asked me where I was going, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I wish I could say this was an isolated experience, but it’s an everyday thing. I wish it could stop being like this.

featured in a book published by 826LA. His first narrative was published in the

The song shows Nipsey has trouble with the cops (just like me) without doing

hopes, with his story, to change people’s minds on the opportunities their

other places of the world, cops don’t look at people wrong or even stop them for

2018 Young Authors’ Book Project called “Through the Same Halls.” Christopher

freedom gives them and not to take it for granted. Writing this story really brought out something that he’s been struggling with for a while: people came to America to have a better life.

anything wrong. It blocks my freedom because they don’t let me live my life. In

no reason. Freedom to me means that cops won’t look at me in a wrong way, or mad dog me as they say good morning.

My view for freedom in fifty years is a lot better than this. One thing is not hearing

freedom and future

17 3

gunshots before going to bed. Imagine this: kids go to sleep peacefully without worrying about anything. Another thing is not hearing about anybody getting

killed or looking at blood on the floor. In the hood, everybody thinks a young man

is part of a gang. We need to stop labeling everybody as a bad person. The result is walking out of your house with confidence, not being scared of getting shot,

or even worse, losing a life. In regard to cops, in fifty years they will stop looking at people of color wrong for no reason. It is something that has affected us

throughout our history, since many have been killed by cops just because of their skin tone. This is something we have to continue working on to make change.

There are actions to create a freer world. One way is stopping hate and showing

some love to people because violence comes out of hate. Cops should look at us differently, with respect and understanding, because not everybody is heading on a bad path. If we all work towards this freedom and things start changing, maybe more teenagers would see their twentieth birthdays.

About the Author

Alexander Guevara was born and raised in South Central Los Angeles as the son of immigrants from El Salvador. Alex enjoys playing baseball, basketball, and

football, though soccer is his primary sport. He plays center-back for his school’s Varsity team as well as an outside club. Alex wants his reader to learn that you can find inner peace despite tough circumstances.

freedom and future

17 5

What If

Carlos Odilon

It was a regular, sunny day in Los Angeles, and my family went to Numero Uno to buy some groceries. My mom already had an idea of what she wanted to buy

and what she could buy. As a kid going to the store, you maybe weren’t focused on what was needed, but what you wanted. When we would go to the store, I

always wanted a bunch of junk food. But this trip to the store was different—not good different—and I was curious as to why. I was not able to buy what I would

usually get, like Hershey’s, Lay’s, and Lunchables. I wasn’t able to get any of these.

We didn’t have enough money to pay for them.

We would have to eat the same food for more than two days. We wouldn’t be

able to go and buy groceries, and if we did, it would only be to buy small things we could afford, like a few bags of soup, and that was it. Before then, we ate

differently every day, but in that situation, it wasn’t possible. My parents always tell my sisters and I not to worry about the situation and to always try our best and hardest in school, so we won’t have to be in this situation and have to

experience the same living conditions. I always tried not to think of it too much, but I hate seeing us struggle just to eat, even if it’s just something simple and

easy. Even though we are older now, we still face the same situation. Even though

have a successful life, compared to a white family whose son causes trouble

with his friends in bars. My parents always told me to work hard and do well in

school to have a better future than what we had. I know being born here has its

advantages, and I also know that coming from an immigrant family adds some

disadvantages. But knowing that doesn’t stop me from doing my best at school.

In fact, it makes me try even harder, knowing I have opportunities waiting for me, especially when listening to “One Day.”

Listening to Logic’s “One Day” makes me feel even better about my background and family. It lets me feel good about my family and myself, knowing that

we have to work for our future, and not take advantage of what we have, but acknowledge what we have. I feel more relaxed when listening to “One Day”

because it talks about how, in the future, I won’t have to go through the same

struggles of being in an immigrant family that’s separated or not being able to afford stuff needed in daily life.

I feel that I, as a Mexican American teen, don’t really have the freedom to be out without being looked at or discriminated against for the color of my skin. “One

Day” by Logic makes me feel free because it lets me know that there are people

that don’t judge you for the color of your skin. It lets me know I can be successful in life, no matter the color of my skin.

our lives are different and my sisters are older, we still experience hardship.

Not everybody can have a great family or household; some may have it easy and others have it hard. There is no in-between. Maybe there is—who knows? I know I

don’t. The family that might have it easy might be a family with parents that have had it easy ever since they can remember, or someone with parents that aren’t

immigrants.I know I don’t have it easy. My family and I struggle a lot to maintain a good position for ourselves. Our daily lives consist of deciding what we could do to be in a good position money-wise. Recently, my family had to give up our car and start using the bus because we didn’t have enough to pay for the monthly payment. Taking the bus wasn’t the biggest issue; it was watching my mom no

longer able to shop at the store she favored. Instead, she had to go to the stores close by, which didn’t have as many options of products as her usual stores.

In Logic’s music video for his song “One Day,” an immigrant family is being

separated while trying to leave Mexico to have a better life. In the future, the

son that was separated from his family is a hard worker and does his best to

freedom and future

17 7

What I Imagine Juan Cayetano

When my dad was in jail for a year, I had to mature. I was responsible for

my own actions and choices because mom was working, and I had to step it up. She didn’t ask me to get better grades, but I wanted to because I felt like I wanted to do something to make her feel better. I got a little more

independent. I was really close to my dad, and then he was gone. When I

ran into problems, I tried to solve it in a way that I thought he would talk me

through. I used my imagination to create my own peace by being alone and

listening to music. Whenever I made choices, I saw him there telling me what to do—guiding me. I didn’t want to give my mom a hard time, so I did what I had to do. I was sad and I didn’t choose this, but I got through it.

I chose the song “Imagine” by the Beatles because I’d like to see peace within myself, in my own life, and in my community. I’d like to see an end to poverty.

When I see homeless people, I feel like helping them. In my imaginary world, I

feel as if we should all help one another. That’s a way I can feel free: living in a

world where we are all equal, where everything doesn’t have a value measured by money. This song makes me feel free ‘cause I can kind of see a similar vision.

The lyric “no greed or hunger” makes me feel like I’ll never be free, living in a world where people don’t want to help, a world of sadness. When I listen to this song, I

imagine I’m living in this world where everyone is happy and poverty has ended.

I’m trying to make myself a better person by being open-minded and by

humbling myself. I’d like to be a Marine to try to make my imaginary world a About the Author

Carlos Odilon’s family immigrated from Mexico and faces many financial

struggles. As someone who doesn’t like to talk about his personal life, telling this story was uncomfortable at first. However, Carlos overcame this discomfort

reality. I can help people by helping my country. It’ll be a stepping stone. I’ll travel around the world and help the less fortunate. I imagine myself living

in Seattle or moving around the world to feel free, and to get a sense of how other people live and their traditions.

because he knows that there are people who can learn from his story. He wants

Freedom isn’t just about your career. It’s about being able to do things peacefully

can achieve anything if you focus on the positive opportunities.

sense of financial stability and resources for me to live a happier life after. Then I

the readers to know that no matter what your family’s circumstances are, you

and achieve things personally. I want to join the Marines because it provides a

want to be a therapist—I like talking to people—or a children’s social worker. I want to help people realize there’s more after they get past problems.

In my life, the most significant impact was my dad being locked up. Now,

freedom and future

17 9

when I think back to it, I felt overwhelmed and trapped in sadness then. Now that that problem is over, I feel like I’m in a better place and able to work towards a

successful future. By sharing the experience I went through, I want to help people realize that there’s more after they get through problems. I want to help people find their happiness or freedom.

Trusting Powerful Y

To learn from the struggles and grow higher and better—that is freedom.

I hear it in the lyrics, “I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert, and so

much more. Anything you want, I’m dedicated to you.” This song is “772 Love”

by YNW Melly. 772 is the area code where YNW Melly grew up and found

his first love. It shows that love can grow in any space, even a small one. It

motivates me to move on. Even if I can see the struggles in my life—school, applying to jobs as a minor, financial issues, and helping my mother with my four siblings—I’m motivated not to block love from my life.

This song will also help men and women treat each other right. Many women out there need love, but when men hurt them they feel like they should do

the same. I experienced it myself with my aunt. She was dating a man and

he cheated. Ever since then, my aunt felt like she should do the same thing

with any man that walks into her life. I feel like she is hurting herself by getting revenge on men just because one did her wrong. When men cheat, I feel like we, as women, should walk away and be the bigger person because there

are so many other fish in the sea. That person was one rotten fish. There are nicer-looking and cleaner fish. We have the freedom to wait, learn from our

mistakes, and see what comes our way. It could be a better person than the first time. There is more good in the world than bad.

I am in a relationship right now and the boy is treating me good. He takes me out to eat and he pays. He takes me to the beach. He is always by my side when I am going through hard phases. He always finds a way to cheer me up. He is not like other guys who do not know how to act. “772 Love” reminds me of him and how we struggle to keep a relationship steady. I am about to turn

eighteen and my mother is scared for me to enter the real world. I am her first girl of three daughters, so that is why she is more strict with me. My mom is

like a lot of people in the community who make it seem like once you’re in a About the Author

Juan Cayetano is a Latino teen, born and raised in South LA. In his free time, he enjoys hanging out with friends or playing video games. Juan’s hobbies

are playing golf and reading books. He enjoys peace and quiet and going on unplanned adventures.

relationship, you’re going to have a baby. When a girl tells her parents she

has a boyfriend, they don’t let her out. If a boy tells his parents that he has a

girlfriend, he still gets the same freedom. I have to tell her a week early if I want to go out and beg her. She struggles to say yes. Once I’m eighteen, she doesn’t

have a choice but to say yes, and I feel like that is freedom. I can’t wait to go to

college, have fun, and learn new things. I can’t wait to have my own place, and

freedom and future

181

Freedom Season

while I know that’s a lot of responsibility, I can make my own rules. It is hard to

follow my mom’s rules, but it will be easy to follow my rules. And I know I would

Randy Hernandez

not break my rules.

If my mom gave me more freedom, I wouldn’t have to lie to her. I would tell her

Growing up, we never had much money, but what we did have was enough to

have more trust in their kids, and their kids would tell the truth to them.

struggled growing up in the streets of South Central, where violence was, and

more things that I usually don’t. We would be more connected. Parents should

keep a roof over our heads. Coming from a family with little to no education, I is, an everyday thing. Freedom may have many definitions to many people,

but I have my own; freedom is being able to walk through my neighborhood

streets without having to make sure I’m not followed by people trying to hurt

me; freedom is not having to worry about how my family is going to pay rent;

freedom is taking my loved ones out of a hard situation and putting them in a place where they can live happily.

In the song “Get It If You Want It,” Gunna speaks about coming out of nothing and working hard to make his and his loved ones’ lives better. Gunna is an Atlanta

rapper who grew up in a tough living situation surrounded by gang violence and poverty. In this song, he speaks about what freedom means to him. His freedom is almost identical to mine. One area currently blocking my freedom is my

neighborhood. A lot of negativity can be found in my community, including, but

not limited to, the gang violence, the drugs, and the poverty. Some people make

it seem like we were all born to live this way. Instead of letting the negativity bring About the Author

Powerful Y is hard-working and caring. Of her own accord, Powerful Y

me down, I use it as a source of motivation in order to prove to those who doubt my ability to rise above my given circumstances.

started working as a minor. She is the oldest of three daughters in a family

My plan, then, is to be a role model not only for my family, but also for my

care of her siblings.

decision to extend my scholastic career by applying to eight colleges in order to

of five children. As one of the eldest, Powerful Y helps her mother take

community as a whole. To accomplish this goal, I have made the self-fueled

show my community that education can be the key to success, that there is no

need for crime and violence, as seems to be the answer for so many of my peers.

In “Get It If You Want It,” Gunna speaks about how his struggles made it hard for him to grow. He talks about his mother working two jobs just to meet monthly

payments. There were days where their living situation was so difficult that she could not even have food on the table. I can relate to this because growing up, I remember both my parents working all day to make ends meet. I didn’t really

get to spend much time with them due to them working all the time, but I know

they really cared for me, since they worked so hard. This is the main reason that

I pursue my vision of freedom—so I can repay them for all of the things that they did for me and my siblings.

freedom and future

18 3

Born to Be Free Uriel Bautista

“Born to Be Free” by X Japan starts off soft, gets heavy halfway, then goes back to soft at the end, expressing the journey that the band members have gone

through. It somewhat relates to me in that I am struggling with lots of pressure

and stress, and I just want to not be held down. There are a few things causing pressure on me in my final year of high school. I’ve been trying really hard to

try to keep my grades at a good place, but I’m trying to do too much at once,

and it’s causing me a lack of motivation to do my school work and my grades

to drop. I feel stressed trying to do everything on time, while trying to balance

that with other things I do, like playing video games and practicing my electric

guitar. I haven’t played much since I started working. I don’t have much time

to practice guitar since I started working full-time on the weekend. X Japan’s

song reminds me that, despite all the pressures, I should do what I want without any limits.

“Born to be free (free forever)... Born to be free (now and forever)... Nobody can steal (steal the freedom)... our life away (they will not sever).” To me, these

lyrics mean that I have the right to be myself and no one can stop me. Since

the song is by a heavy metal band, halfway it gets heavy with a guitar solo,

which is supposed to represent struggles in life. The making of the song

reflects the struggles band members had to go through before they laid the

song down. I can relate. In the beginning of my life, it was calm, and now I

struggle with stress and pressures from my final year in high school and my About the Author

personal life.

Randy Hernandez was born and raised in South Central Los Angeles. Randy

Trying to stay cheerful doesn’t last long. So much stress and pressure makes

an entrepreneur, and he hopes to create his own sports brand one day. In

me that sometimes I just want to escape everything and just go to sleep.

played varsity football for his school team. He is passionate about becoming

me feel tired and mad at the same time. So much has been building up in

his essay, “Freedom Season,” Randy writes about his vision of success and

Sleep is the only freedom I have these days. I can’t say I relate to X Japan’s

always hope for a better tomorrow.

way of expressing how freedom should be. Don’t misunderstand; I want my

freedom for himself and his family. He wants the readers to learn that there is

lead singer and his cheerful tone during the chorus. I’m guessing this is their

freedom to have emotions of happiness and cheer. It’s just that... right now my

emotions are kind of messy with everything that I’m going through.

Born to be free... I imagine someone captured in chains, then escaping, only

freedom and future

18 5

to be chased by something negative, as he tries to reach a place where none

of that exists. I want freedom to be where nothing holds me down or tries to

stop me from achieving greatness. I know that school is mostly the thing that is causing my stress and pressure. I feel that I spend too much time learning

things that I know that I won’t actually use later on. I feel like I’m just wasting

time that I would rather use improving my guitar skills. I want to make money

playing guitar and maybe get a job making background music (BGM) or

original soundtracks (OST) for movies. My parents are always lecturing me

about how my education is important and how I’m just gonna throw it away to

chase a dream that is unrealistic. We end up arguing about how I want to live differently from how they want me to live. They want me to go to college and

study some kind of career, but I’m tired of being in school and studying. I feel

like going to college is a waste of time and money and that I won’t be able to

pass the first year. I want to do something I enjoy and can make a living at.

As I live on, I know that there will be more things that will cause stress and

pressure, like trying to pay everything on time when the economy makes costs too high, or getting some kind of sickness or cancer, knowing I can’t do the

things I enjoy, then being told I don’t have lots of time left. I would love to just be free from that and live a happy life, where I don’t have to worry about the

paying of my house and bills. I want to play in a band and do my own covers

or original songs with my electric guitar. I want a good-paying job and to be someone who makes a change in lots of people. That is the freedom that I imagine and want to achieve. Because I am born to be free.

About the Author

Uriel Bautista is eighteen years old and was born in Mexico. Uriel is into metal music and video games, especially role-playing games and games about

zombies. Inspired by DragonForce guitarists Herman Li and Sam Totman, and Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello, Uriel is currently practicing

electric guitar and trying to pursue the dream of being the best-known guitarist in the world.

freedom and future

187

Feeling Powerless Leslie Garcia

I remember when he was fifteen years old. We loved to play soccer or just go out

to places. During those moments, my cousin Juan felt free doing what he liked to do. When he was young, we would go hiking ‘cause he loved being active. To me, his energy was contagious. I would be the lazy person, but he would push me to

do something. I remember him telling me that hiking was his peaceful space. We had a strong, unbreakable bond.

My cousin is now struggling with addiction. He’s twenty years old. He was really young, around nineteen years old, when he found out his mom was really sick.

She had stomach cancer. At the time, she was in Mexico. He was in LA until he returned to Mexico to take care of her.

Once his mother died, he was really depressed. Her death impacted him a lot

because he was the baby of his family; his older brother and sister were in LA with their own families. He was really lonely. His siblings weren’t with him or facing this depressing moment with him in Mexico. His mom was his role model and hero.

She was his only reason for going forward in life. This is when he started using

drugs. At this time, the other half of my family members were never there for him.

these rough moments with his mom and drugs. I felt powerless. I couldn’t help my cousin out and make him feel better, even though I would tell him that I loved him and reassured him he wasn’t alone.

When my aunt passed away, I went to Mexico to visit him. The moment I saw him, he looked different. He was really skinny because of his addiction. I was trying to make him feel better while I was in Mexico, but it wasn’t going nowhere because he was depressed. I felt that the drugs took away his freedom and they just

took over him. I felt trapped. I felt his addiction took my freedom away, too. I was frustrated about my cousin’s health.

It’s not easy to see your loved one going through addiction. My cousin thinks that the drugs are going to help him with his pain, but it just makes his depression

worse. When my dad went to Mexico to visit and check up on him again, he tried

to talk my cousin into coming to Los Angeles to find support. Although my cousin thinks he’s alone, he’s not because he has a family that loves him and is willing

to help him get professional help. People think they have to struggle alone, but

there is always going to be a different route other than drugs. Drugs do not make

anything better. Addiction causes you to isolate yourself from the family that tries to help you. My cousin is not alone. He has a family that loves him. We will help him break free of the drugs.

They didn’t check up to him. The only people that cared to check up on him were his siblings or my dad. They would try to call him, send him money, and give him advice through the phone. Even though people would try to help him, the drugs had a hold on him.

When I found out Juan was doing drugs, I was around seventeen years old. At

first I thought it was a joke. I ended up asking my dad if it was true. I was shocked when I heard it was. All I could picture in my head was the bond that Juan and I

had and the memories that I had with him when we were kids. We would always check up on each other. We were inseparable. Once he moved back to Mexico

everything changed. That bond wasn’t there anymore. His personality changed once he went back. He didn’t really talk to me anymore. I felt the drugs got between us.

The lyrics that get to me in J. Cole’s song “Once an Addict” are, “Part of me dies

when I see her like this.” It relates to my cousin because it hurt him to see his mom suffer from stomach cancer, but it also hurt me seeing my cousin going through

freedom and future

18 9

Necessities Over Wants Kevin Ramos

I remember it was two Christmases ago, my dad hadn’t been working as much.

He usually worked day in, day out. He was sent home most of the time from

his construction job because of the weather and conditions of his workplace. I was sitting on the couch, when I asked my dad if he was going to buy us gifts.

Christmas was my family’s favorite holiday. Usually by that time, we already

had our gifts wrapped and ready to open for Christmas Eve. He responded in a disappointed tone and said that we needed to talk.

He sat next to me and spoke in a soft voice about how bills were coming and rent was due. He only had enough for my little brothers’ gifts. My brothers were nine

and four. Immediately, I responded and said that that wasn’t fair. He told me that I’m the oldest and that I had to understand that sometimes we can’t have it all

because money is a problem at times. I actually felt really bad and childish for

demanding my dad buy me a gift. I understood then, that in order for me and my family to feel free, I had to support them. My father was really surprised. We gave each other a manly hug, full of tough love.

I remember a time when money seemed to be no problem. When I was an only

child I used to get everything and anything I wanted, until my siblings were born.

When there were more backs to put clothes on, and more food to add to the table, it started getting rough.

After the talk I had with my dad, I started to plan ahead for the future, so things About the Author

Leslie Garcia was born in LA. Outside of school, she plays soccer in a club league,

like money wouldn’t be a problem anymore. We could have the freedom to get what we wanted, instead of having to choose what we need.

a passion that started when she was five years old, with the encouragement of

To begin, my plan is to attend community college and work a part-time job for

a story that will be published in a book. She took her work seriously and didn’t give

criminal justice. I plan to become a parole officer. It’s a pretty long process, but,

her father. Leslie is most proud of writing this story because she has never written up writing a story that was emotional and, at times, painful to tell. She hopes the readers can learn from her experience with a loved one.

some sort of income. After, I’ll transfer to a Cal State University and major in

if completed, I will have a yearly income that could get me and my family the

freedom of not having to decide between what we need and what we want. With this job I will not only have the money to sustain myself and my family, but I will

also have the power to help inmates get rehabilitated instead of returning to their lives of crime.

freedom and future

191

Since the talk with my dad, I dreamt of this plan coming true every day as a

kid. All the struggles my family has faced would be nothing but old memories.

I see myself having my own house with three-plus bedrooms and a nice car.

Everything I want in one picture: the ability to sustain my parents and siblings

until my brothers get older and can do that on their own. All of us together can pay our parents back for all the years they took care of us, dealt with us, put clothes on our backs, and fed us—everything they ever did for us. We will all

live a happy life. No problems with money. Family problems all gone. No more

pressure. That’s where I want to see myself in the future. If this vision—my pursuit of freedom—is met, I will have the freedom I dreamt of as kid, being financially stable enough to get both my wants and necessities without a problem.

About the Author

Kevin Ramos is a seventeen-year-old senior at Manual Arts High School. Out of

a family of five, he is the oldest of three siblings. He enjoys playing soccer in

his free time, both inside and outside of school. He has a very good sense of

humor that can lighten up the mood at any given occasion, and he is always happy. He wants to attend college to get the job he needs, so that his family

will be better off. Although Kevin is determined to set out and accomplish this

goal, he feels really pressured, since he is the oldest child, and he has to set an example for his siblings to follow.

freedom and future

19 3

I’m Me, I Chill Justin Berry

I’m in Calabasas. The streets are empty. Palm trees on the sidewalk. I’m on my

balcony at 8 AM. Early morning, waking up, looking at the view, I see the front lawn.

I’m looking at my cars in the driveway and thinking about my success. I hear the

birds chirping. I hear the kids downstairs while they get ready to go to school. I see

my significant other getting ready for work. I get a call from one of my best friends, and he’s saying how he sold a property in Rancho Cucamonga and how it’s his big

break. I see my significant other leaving the driveway to drop off our kids at school.

I call her and ask her, “Are we still on for dinner tonight at 7:00 PM?” We are. I call my mom to see how she’s doing and to check on her. It’s 8:18 AM and I’m getting ready to hop in the shower. I get my playlist ready. This is my future.

In my family, people haven’t reached the success they aspired to have. I want

to change that and reach my goals. I don’t have someone to guide me where I

want to be. My family wants what’s best for me and pushes me to go to college

and have a better life than they do. They really didn’t have anyone to guide them, and where they are now is not where they wanted to be. Maybe it was the gang

The way I plan to get all this success I’m talking about is by going to college

and going into the real estate business. I guess you can call this my “pursuit of freedom.” In “G.O.A.T.,” one of the lines says, “All this fake love, I don’t pay it no

mind.” I think this speaks volumes because it’s kind of the whole essay in one sentence; throw all that fake love out the window. It’s toxic.

I’m going to graduate from either CSUN or CSUDH. Where I come from, South

Central, and in my circle, that’s like hitting the jackpot. There are those who are

going to be proud like my mom and siblings. And there will be other people who don’t show real love and weren’t there from the beginning.

I have some odds stacked against me. Like I said, I know people in my life that

haven’t reached the success they aspired to have. I have to find what they didn’t do or what held them back and not fall into the category of life not panning out.

I am very careful about picking my friends wisely. I want to make sure they are on the same path as me because some people tend to follow in their friends’ footsteps to fit in. I don’t wanna fall in that category. I pride myself on being

different in many ways; I like to listen to R&B music and I enjoy writing. Being different is always a good thing.

violence, friends, or family... maybe it was unfortunate circumstances.

Being Black in South Central, people don’t expect me to amount to anything. The news puts down people around here by showing us and judging us as criminals.

We have no recognition for the good things we do, only the bad. Most of the

people I’ve seen graduated, I see hanging around, doing anything with their life.

They’re older and I look up to them, but I expected more than seeing them like

that, not living out their dreams. I wonder if whatever is holding them back will hold me back from what I want my life to be.

In the song “G.O.A.T.” by Lil Tjay, he talks about how he wants to be the greatest

and how fake love is in constant opposition to authentic love. In “G.O.A.T.,” he talks

about how when you’re struggling, no one is there, but when you are at your best, when you’re in your prime, everyone comes around and acts like they love you. I see myself with a bright future, and I feel like when my life’s going great, people are gonna come my way and try to be my friend. But it’s like... where were you

when I didn’t have all this luxury? Right now, all I have to count on is my family, and that’s all I need—now, and in the future.

freedom and future

19 5

Chrysalis

Fathima Alemayehu

Even if I’m not worth a million, who says I can’t feel like I am? When I listen to

“Crushed Up” by Future, I experience a feeling of confidence, mainly, but also

freedom in myself, knowing I can accomplish anything. For me, this feeling is

like power... no, not in money or what the lyrics are saying in the song, but just

power in myself. If Future can come from struggle to success, from selling drugs to having businesses in his name and becoming an entrepreneur, I can chase my dreams. No matter what life throws at me. When I look at other people overcoming their struggles, it helps me overcome mine.

This song makes me feel like a boss, flexing on my haters. When I ask some

people where they see themselves five years from now, they don’t even have a voice or vision of what they want in life. It’s usually just, “I wanna move out my mom’s house,” but they’ve never taken the steps to do so or thought about what they would do after.

I want to be successful in life and want to start my own business. Most

importantly, I want to support my family and never forget where I came from.

By seeing Future grow from having nothing on his name to doing everything to help his family… it’s like seeing a caterpillar turn into a butterfly and fly everywhere, no matter what the weather.

Future’s success inspires me and makes me feel I can do it too, no matter what.

Right now, I’m not a butterfly yet, but I’m in the cocoon. And in my cocoon I’m About the Author

Justin Berry is a seventeen-year-old senior at Manual Arts High School. He was born in Gardena, raised in Compton, and now lives in Los Angeles, California.

He plays basketball and enjoys watching basketball and football. Outside of school, he likes watching movies, preferably mob movies, and also playing

video games. He spends a lot of his free time with his mother and two siblings.

Justin hopes to one day become successful in real estate and provide for his present and future family.

practicing letting go of the pain and the stragglers that made me who I am

today. Caterpillars aren’t born knowing how to fly. Getting there is long shot, but they fly eventually.

Future is mainly flexing, showing people; even though he doesn’t show off what he has 24/7, he can say it in a song. In “Crushed Up,” he talks about what he

earned and worked for. I love it because it’s an expression of what he’s feeling.

People are always doubting your dreams before you even take the first step. The song shows his growth as an individual, and you can tell he came a long way

in these past years. I know he had a passion for music, and I know that was his motivation—to become better and be bigger and greater, and that right there gives me an eye opener because if he can do it, I can do it, as well.

freedom and future

197

I want to be independent and own everything I have, without any help, but

I’m also going to help people along the way. And by that I mean i don’t want people to help me and then turn around and tell people they helped me, to make themselves look or feel better. I want to have hope in the future and

have a purpose. I want to be a boss, not a worker to make sure my family is straight, healthy, and living well. In life, you have to have a goal and not be

distracted by negative energy. If you put love and good energy into the world, that’s what you can get back.

About the Author

Fathima Alemayehu was born in Arlington, Texas, but grew up in Los Angeles,

California. In her free time, Fathima likes to watch videos about hair styling, the

pros and cons of different types of hair, clothing, and design. She likes surveying her options, but she’ll know what she likes once she sees it. Fathima is a really great listener and gives the best advice; she thinks from the heart, but at the

same time considers things logically. Even though she’s childish in her own way and loves to laugh often, when she needs to do important work, she will do her best to get it done, putting jokes aside.

freedom and future

19 9

A Life of Understanding a Human Leads to Freedom Zenobia Clark-Welch

My freedom song, “DNA” by Kendrick Lamar, expresses the struggles people of color go through on the daily in America, from being treated differently through stereotypes to being brutally killed with no justice. Since the

beginning of time, people of color have always been treated differently, as

if they’re not human like the rest. The lyric, “I got dark, I got evil that rot inside

because I want to prove people wrong and get good grades. I wound up making the honor roll, and I was like, “ha!”

I see the world coming to an understanding with everyone’s differences and

struggles. When Kendrick uses the term “DNA,” we’re given a scientific concept with a metaphorical meaning, expressing what someone thinks, versus what they actually know. In my world, this means people may think that I don’t

recognize my potential, but in reality I do plan on going to college and making a name for myself. This gives me freedom in my own life.

my DNA,” shows acknowledgment of how society perceives people of color:

being put into a category we have no control over. However, I do believe that a person’s mindset also has a big impact on freedom as well.

In my eyes, the pursuit of freedom is being yourself: having the power to act, speak, or think as you want. Me being me, I’ve spoken out about situations

having to do with homophobic or racist remarks, whether it be in person or

online. Standing up for yourself and continuing to fight until you get what you deserve is very important in life. I believe treating everyone with respect and

helping them see change helps our world more than people think. My vision of freedom in fifty years is everyone being given the same opportunity. “Sipping from a Grammy and walking in the building, diamond in the ceilings, marble

on the floor.” To me, this line expresses freedom by being able to see your hard work pay off and feeling happiness within yourself.

Growing up with different cultures opened my eyes at a very young age.

When he begins rapping “I know murder, conviction, burners, boosters, ballers, dead, redemption, scholars, fathers dead with kids,” it reminds

me of the hardships that friends and family went through that helped me

understand that this is the reality of life. As a young African American girl,

I see many people have doubts about me and what I can do for the world.

Some people doubt that I will go to college. When I say what I want to do

with my life, like be a nurse, they give their own opinion on it. It comes from

older people, so I guess they think that because I’m young, my mind is wack.

In some cases doubts can do good for a person. They push a person to

do better and prove those negative people and comments wrong. They

may help someone come to a realization about their life and how they can improve it in some way. In my own life, this has pushed me to do better

freedom and future

201

For a Reason Mesean Green

A couple of years ago, me and my family were homeless for a lil while, until my uncle on my dad’s side found out, called a hotel that he been to before, and

got us some rooms. We didn’t have no money and my parents weren’t working

because they had to take care of my baby sister. My mom had a blood clot in her leg and couldn’t work. Me and my lil sister would wear the same thing to school on some days and just wash those clothes with our hands because we did not

have no type of money. Eventually we had food to eat because the hotel served breakfast and lunch. It helped us a lot.

A week went by, and me and my family were still in the hotel. Later my mom got

a call from my uncle, and he told her he’s running out of money because of how long we was staying there. So we decided to leave the hotel and stayed at my

dad’s friend’s house for a lil while. The crazy thing is that a few days after staying with them, they told us we needed to leave because their family members was

spending the night for a lil bit, but they knew we did not have anywhere to go. My grandma kicked us out due to a fight my mom had with her, her boyfriend, and my dad over something my grandma did that was not cool at all.

Later at night, me and my family had to sleep in our car until we found a place to stay. It was cold and uncomfortable, but as long as we got some sleep and rest

we were gonna be alright. Everyone was sleeping in the car besides me—I could not sleep because I was just thinking about what we been through for the past

few weeks, and I was really hurt about everything. I had actually cried—I usually About the Author

Zenobia Clark was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She loves a

wide variety of music and eating Chinese food in her free time. When she’s

not doing either of those, she’s most likely watching American Horror Story.

do not cry, but I was really hurt and upset. So I got some sleep and woke up the

next morning to go to school. Me and my lil sister did not wanna go because we had the same clothes on for the past week, but we just decided to go because I did not want my parents to get in trouble because of our absences.

When she was eleven, she taught herself to play the violin, and she still plays

Sometimes at school people would talk about me because I would wear the

in a UCLA publication. She would like to attend UC Riverside and receive a

myself just to stay strong and keep doin’ me, and everything would be alright. I’m

today. In her freshman year, her vision of the future was to publish a story

Master’s degree in Sociology. She hopes the world will come to an point of understanding with everyone’s differences.

same thing, but I had no choice. I made sure it did not affect me and kept telling

not gonna lie—those incidents of being made fun of just made me stronger, and I was proud of myself. After school I was walking to our van, and my mom told me the manager from our old apartment said to her we could move back because

she was still on the lease of the apartment. My mom started crying, but my pops

freedom and future

203

hugged her. We were all happy about the situation—my lil sisters were happy, and just ready to lay in a bed. I’m just happy for the fact that we are not homeless no more, and that God does everything for a reason.

The song “Pain” by Yungeen Ace relates to me because he went through some of the things I did a few years ago. During that time, I felt weak knowing everything was falling apart. Eventually the good times will come.

About the Author

Mesean Green was born in Los Angeles, CA on December 28, 2000. Although

growing up as the only boy in the family has been a challenge, he cares for his

five sisters and mother a lot. Together, they have overcome negative energy. His

parents, Michael and Tiffany, are the strongest people he knows. He is grateful for his girlfriend, Zoe, who helps him keeps him going. He also enjoys working out.

freedom and future

205

Why Long for Change When You Can Create?

Seth Arroyo

“If I changed anything, I mean anything… I would change everything.” Like Nas,

I too wish I could change everything. The past doesn’t always go how you’d like

it to. Change is something that I usually long for. For myself, I would change the living conditions, the harsh times, and all the chaos that hangs around me like

a shadow. I would change living cramped in a trailer and moved from home to

home because greedy owners wanted to make an extra dollar. I would change the fact that my family struggled financially, despite receiving government

assistance. I would change the fact that my father was let go from jobs because he had too much experience or was being paid too much. I would change my

parents having to worry and stress over situations, while having to care for nine kids. I would change having to move in and out, in and out, repeatedly, from my

grandmothers house, a home where we were never made to feel comfortable. I

would change being pushed into one room, sleeping in the living room on a foldout mattress with two other bodies. I can’t change the past, but I can create a better future for my family and myself.

I don’t worry about the conditions for myself, but for my siblings. Even though

we fight, argue, and act like we hate each other, I have so much love for them. I

hate seeing my loved ones uncomfortable and not as happy as they could be. I

remember moments where we had fun, running around, music blasting. I loved how we fought; there are moments that we look back on and reminisce. Once, my oldest sibling, Joshua, threw a big block of cheese, the size of a Vans shoe

us into their home. My siblings have never been able to really enjoy a stable home of their own. My siblings have felt enough suffering, even though they do not realize it, but we pay little attention to the suffering of our parents.

My parents struggle through life every day. They too have had difficult pasts, but the most difficult thing they have encountered is starting our family. Having ten

kids and losing one at an early age must’ve been one of the hardest things in life.

My parents struggled, having so many children and not being financially stable.

They have always sacrificed so much for their children and they always try to give us what we need. They have always stressed over issues that appeared

because of not having enough money; having nine children was a worry because sometimes we did not know if we had enough money to eat. My parents have

always put us before themselves and never properly took care of themselves.

Now, my parents are getting old in their young age. My father is no longer able to walk without assistance, and he’s barely turning fifty on March 25, 2019. He hasn’t been in the best health for a few years, going through many horrific medical

issues. My mother aches with pain and tries to hide it so she can continue on with her day for her children, but she does a terrible job of hiding. The pain and hurt are clearly painted on her face, like a canvas full of madness.

Freedom hasn’t been something very obvious throughout my life. I’ve been shackled by pain and torment, wrecked by what may seem small, but the glacier always runs deeper than the peak emerging from the cold, harsh

waters. The past will always be that, the past; you can’t change it. There’s no point in stressing over what you’ve already tripped over—it’s behind you. So I am free. I’m free from my past.

box, at Gio, my second-oldest brother. Memories like those, that in the moment

Once I learned to let go, I realized I was no longer shackled down. I can shape

to sit in the living room with the entire family, some on the floor and some on the

choice whether to stay cramped, cluttered, looked-down upon, and made to feel

were terrible, became memories that bring joy and laughter. It was always good couch, talking across the room, screaming at each other, listening to memories that popped into our heads that we just had to spit out before forgetting all the crazy details.

Now, there is no looking back on old memories; it’s as if they were all washed away by tides of pain and age. It’s just hard seeing my siblings hurt, but they

barely see it; they don’t realize how hurt they are because they do not know any

better. They’ve never seen anything out of the world we’ve lived in all our lives. Our world has been small. Our world is run by those that we owe, the people that let

freedom and future

what is ahead of me. It’s all mine for the taking because I have a choice. I have a less. I have the choice to make a 180-degree spin and head my life into another

direction. So my freedom is here; it has always been here, but I wasn’t looking in

the right direction. I was so focused on the past that I couldn’t see our future. I am no longer blinded. I’m not gonna sit back, take the punches, and not fight back.

I’m free to fight, and that’s what I’m going to do, until my freedom has not gone to waste. I am ready to achieve and rise up. Since change is inevitable, I will begin to create. I will create a brighter future with space, success, and stability. My

world will no longer be small; I will expand my world, and I shall soon enjoy all the freedom I was meant to obtain.

207

About the Author

Seth Arroyo is a seventeen year old, born and raised in Los Angeles, California.

He loves this city because even with all its flaws, there is always more to fall

in love with. He is the middle child with nine siblings, and considers his family a prized possession. He is passionate about succeeding in life and being the best at whatever he sets his mind to because second-best is not first.

freedom and future

209

CREATIVE PARTNERS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

About Our Partner Teachers

Las Fotos Project

Manual Arts High School. He began

Las Fotos Project is a community-

Marvin Garcia is an alumnus of

his journey as an educator in 2012

and returned to his alma mater this

fall semester to teach Literature and Journalism within the Academy of

Business and Entrepreneurship. He is excited for students to engage

with the writing process, using their creativity and curiosity as a lens

to discover how words exist in all corners of their lives. He grew up

in South Central Los Angeles, and

currently lives there with his wife and two beautiful, intelligent boys.

Photography

based nonprofit organization that inspires teenage girls through

photography, mentorship, and self-expression. Offering year-

School. It is her passion to share and teach the power of English, reading, learning and communication

with students, parents and the community. Zuñiga resides in

the San Fernando Valley with her partner and their two dogs.

Book Designer

verynice design and

volunteer, Katie Ladd Student Author Photos Colleen Callahan

partners we’ve had the opportunity to work and dream with there. This project began the moment Assistant Principal Ms. Mistie Barela said to me: “I have the perfect partner teachers for this year’s publication!”

that celebrate their students’ writing. They met our enthusiasm and took on this

instruction, and workshops that

encourage them to explore their

identity, learn about new cultures,

build leadership and advocacy skills, and strengthen their social and emotional well-being.

Britney Alvarez

Academy at Manual Arts Senior High

its impact because of the teachers, students, administration, and community

to professional cameras, quality

Project provides girls with access

of California, where she grew up. She Honors English within the Magnet

been welcomed to the “Home of the Toilers.” Our Writers’ Room continues to grow

Mr. Marvin Garcia and Ms. Nancy Zuniga: upon entering their classrooms, I saw

Las Fotos Project Photographers

currently teaches 9th and 10th grade

Senior High School has stood for over a century. For the past six years, 826LA has

round programming, Las Fotos

Nancy Zuñiga began her career

within education in the Central Valley

On Vermont Avenue, one block south of Martin Luther King Jr. Street, Manual Arts

Arianna Romero

student writing hanging from the walls. They have created classroom spaces

mammoth project with us; they helped guide and encourage their students as

they worked tirelessly to write a book in just seven weeks. Thank you for believing in 826LA, and meeting us on this journey.

For the past four years as Principal, Dr. Erica Thomas, has supported 826LA’s

biggest endeavors on campus. From our annual college access events, to this project, she makes sure our programs continue to thrive. Her leadership has

helped guide our biggest goals at the school. We are so grateful to be part of the community at Manual Arts and feel welcomed.

Desiree Montoya

Year after year, ELA Department Head and Assistant Principal Ms. Mistie Barela has

Kalani Ball

confidence, knowing our programs are aligned with the English Department’s goals

Jacqueline Arellano Katherine De La Cruz Marisabel Perez

been a guiding light. With her help, we are able to plan this project with ease and in literacy and writing. Thank you for your excitement and support.

Mary Reyez

To our librarian, Marcia Campbell, for giving us the space to invite students,

Michelle Perez

Orellana who we see often in our Title I office—thank you for the work you do to

Metztli Garcia

Naydelli Mendoza

Regina Zamarripa Ruth Gutierrez

volunteers, and 826LA staff to run this project; and to Ms. Morgan and Ms.

ensure 826LA and our teachers have the resources to make this all possible.

Volunteers are integral in guiding the writing process each year. They are tutors, writers, former teachers, coaches, students, and artists. They listen intently, are curious, and enthusiastic; in only one hour, with a group of students, they can

spark energy and self-reflection. They build trust, meet our students halfway, and share about themselves in the process. This book would not have been possible

without the following volunteers: Alicia Echevarria, Alvin Makori, Andrew Verdekel, Angelina Del Balzo, Anna Boudinot, Ashley Paul, Audrey Kuo, Breda Lund, Brendan

2 11

Hastings, Brian Dunlap, Bob Kirwin, Brooke Edwards, Christina Simon, Claire

Lobenfeld, Coco Shao, Courtney Cheng, Cyrus Khandalavala, David Tung, Debra Shrout, Debra Vilinsky, Dustin Wong, Erika Takase, Isaac Weingart, Jacqueline

Callahan, for taking our student author photos, and guiding our students’ best album cover poses.

Zhou, Jenny Ha, Joan Goldfeder, Joshua Joseph, Kanak Kapur, Kaya Haig, Kenny

To Rachel Mendelsohn, our Design Manager and keen creative eye: thank you

Miguel Camnitzer, Molly Streit, Orit Yefet, Patrick Ferrell, Peter Donald, Rachel Tan,

to make this book so visually captivating. I am so grateful for your willingness to

Ng, Kerstin Zilm, Letty Rojas, Lily Blau, Matthew Keadle, Matthew Kim, Megan Tsern, Raquel Olvera, Reuben Levine, Rui Wang, Samone Alexander, Sanil Chawla, Sharon Cohen, Steff White, Sophia Granado, Valeria Cacho-Sousa, and Vanessa Ziff

for masterfully coordinating and working with our amazing creative partners

meet new ideas and turn drawings into worksheets that look like DJ turntables.

Lasdon.

To Las Fotos Project and its amazing photographers. Your photos capture the

Extra editing help was needed when our in-class sessions ended and a select

are so honored to collaborate again.

group of volunteers, interns, and staff contributed their time as copyeditors. Our

soul of this city, its communities, and the rhythm that lives in one moment. We

team of copyeditors helped make sure this book was polished; it shines like a

To Andrea Mendez for telling the story of this year’s book project on all our

Melina Castorillo, Sharon Cohen, and Sylvia Huang. A very special thank you

into the inner-workings of our spaces, our students’ process, and their

diamond because of the following team: Anna Boudinot, Marisa Urrutia Gedney, to the copy editor that moved this book through its final rounds of copy-edits: Miranda Tsang. Thank you for all your work to make this book impeccable.

We were thrilled to welcome back Melina Castorillo as our Project Assistant this

year. As an intern, she was a crucial part of our Young Authors’ Book Project team

last year for “Through the Same Halls.” Her insight of the project and knowledge of its fast pace, helped us hit the ground running as soon as we started.

Our dedicated intern, Sylvia Huang, jumped into various roles throughout the

project, always making sure staff, students, and volunteers were supported. She

helped run in-class sessions, worked with students, and made sure no detail was missed. Thank you for sharing your many talents with us, including the culinary masterpieces you brought to our copy-editing roundtable.

social media platforms: your work gives our community (and fans) a glimpse bloomed confidence.

To Shauna Nep and Propper Daley for their tireless advocacy through art

and music. Thank you for believing in 826LA’s mission, and for helping us catch Mr. John Legend’s ear amidst an orchestra of events and writing he is met with daily.

An extra special thank you to the 826LA staff and team who play a key role in

making this project a success: Mariesa Kubasek for helping recruit volunteers;

thank you for making our message succinct, impactful, and inspiring. LaTesha Adolphus, for jumping into sessions and sparking new energy into our team.

Marisa Urrutia Gedney, Project Advisor, for the invaluable support you have given to this project and this year’s students.

To our Young Authors’ Book Project published authors from 2013 and 2018: Ada

To the sixty-five writers who are now published authors: thank you for trusting

because of you, we were able to hold our first ever YABP Author Panel in the

willingness to be open and uncomfortable when the writing began to reflect

Fernandez, Ashley Carter, Alexa Velez, Demetre Schmidt, and Michelle Diaz:

days leading up to our first writing sessions. You helped ground this project;

your willingness to share your process, your heart, and your stories helped ease students’ worries about taking on this big project. Thank you for the opportunity to witness your power time and again.

To the designer of this book, verynice, for designing a book that is as cool

and bold as a mixtape: your vision matches the heart of this book. To Colleen

826LA, for your presence, your ears, your heart, and your brilliant minds. For your something you hadn’t shared before. It is an honor to work with you, see you walk with your heads high, see you care for one another, and see you carry your story, proudly and courageously. Thank you for inspiring us.

2019 Young Authors’ Book Project staff T Sarmina, Project Manager and Editor

213

ABOUT 826LA

826LA also thanks its

826LA VOLUNTEERS

USC Service-learners

826LA Supporters

the Future Level and above:

Alicia Echevarria

Brendan Hastings

part by grants from the All Ways Up

Anonymous

826LA Supporters This project was made possible in

Foundation, the Flourish Foundation,

the Joan Leidy Foundation, the City of Los Angeles Department of Cultural

Affairs, and the USC Good Neighbors Campaign.

Partners in Time members at

Anonymous

Meredith Bagby

AmyAnn & Blake Cadwell Anne Caroll

Adriana Centeno

Inell & Henry Chase Matthew Conway

Alison & Sean Cotter Anand Devarajan

Terena Thyne & Anders Eisner Jodie Evans

Kristin Gannon 826LA’s In-Schools Program is supported in part by:

All Ways Up Foundation Annenberg Foundation Baskin Foundation

Carol and James Collins Foundation

Department of Cultural Affairs, City of Los Angeles

The Eisner Foundation

The Flourish Foundation Joan Leidy Foundation Karisma Foundation

Los Angeles County Arts Commission Nancy E. Barton Foundation

Ralph M. Parsons Foundation Rose Hills Foundation

USC Good Neighbors Campaign Vera R. Campbell Foundation Weingart Foundation WHH Foundation

Jamie & Scott A. Ginsburg

Alexandra Glickman & Gayle Whittemore

Rebecca & Mattis Goldman Barry Gribble Amy King

Kimberly & Mark Koro Tai Lopez

Carolyn & Louis Lucido

Molly McNearney & Jimmy Kimmel Mary Mendelsohn Hyunsoo Moon

Shane Nickerson

Heather & Glasgow Phillips Natalie Ramirez Daniel Ricker

Meredith Westgate Russo Kieran Shamash Nicole Small

Sarah Rosenwald Varet & Jesse Coleman

Debra Vilinsky

In-Class Writing Volunteers

Alvin Makori

Andrew Verdekel

Courtney Cheng

Angelina Del Balzo

David Tung

Anna Boudinot

Dustin Wong

Ashley Paul

Jenny Ha

Audrey Kuo

Joshua Joseph

Breda Lund

Kanak Kapur

Brian Dunlap

Matthew Kim

Bob Kirwin

Megan Tsern

Brooke Edwards

Rachel Tan

Christina Simon

Reuben Levine

Claire Lobenfeld

Rui Wang

Coco Shao

Samone Alexander

Cyrus Khandalavala

Sanil Chawla

Debra Shrout

Sophia Granado

Debra Vilinsky

Valeria Cacho-Sousa

Erika Takase

Copyediting Team

Isaac Weingart

Anna Boudinot

Jacqueline Zhou

Marisa Urrutia Gedney

Joan Goldfeder

Melina Castorillo

Kaya Haig

Sharon Cohen

Kenny Ng

Sylvia Huang

Kerstin Zilm

T Sarmina

Letty Rojas Lily Blau

Copyeditor

Miguel Camnitzer

Project Manager and Editor

Miranda Tsang

Matthew Keadle Molly Streit

T Sarmina

Orit Yefet

Project Advisor

Patrick Ferrell

Marisa Urrutia Gedney

Peter Donald

Raquel Olvera

Project Assistant

Steff White

Project Intern

Sharon Cohen

Melina Castorillo

Vanessa Ziff Lasdon

Sylvia Huang

Nora & Peter Wendel

215

ABOUT 826LA | WWW.826LA.ORG

BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Lani Monos

826LA is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting students ages 6 to 18

Henry V. Chase

Miwa Okumura

with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write.

AFTER-SCHOOL TUTORING

From Monday to Thursday, students attend 826LA for free individual tutoring in all subjects. Once homework is completed, students read books from 826LA’s library and write stories based on a monthly theme. Students submit their writing for

inclusion in chapbooks, which 826LA publishes throughout the year. To celebrate students’ hard work, 826LA unveils these chapbooks at book release parties,

where students read their work to thunderous applause from their volunteers, families, and peers.

Jodie Evans Susan Ko

Matthew Cherniss Ben Au

Dave Eggers, EM ER IT U S Terena Thyne Eisner Scott A. Ginsburg Claire Hoffman Louis Lucido

Frankie Quintero

Sarah Rosenwald Varet Eileen Shields

B.J. Novak

Jane Patterson Keri Putnam

Sylvie Rabineau Sonja Rasula

Luis J. Rodriguez

Terri Hernandez Rosales Brad Simpson

J. Ryan Stradal Natalie Tran

Sarah Vowell Sally Willcox

IN-SCHOOL SUPPORT

ADVISORY BOARD

YOUTH ADVISORY BOARD

organization brings specially trained volunteer tutors into under-resourced

Judd Apatow

Gabriela M.

Because not all students can come to one of 826LA’s writing centers, the

public schools. There volunteers provide one-on-one assistance with writing

projects. 826LA works with teachers to craft all projects, which are designed to

engage students, while targeting curricular issues. In addition to visiting twenty schools in the Los Angeles School District each year, 826LA hosts Writers’ Rooms at Manual Arts High School in South Los Angeles and Roosevelt High School in Boyle Heights.

WORKSHOPS

826LA’s workshops bring students together with artists, writers, and professionals for creative collaboration. Whether the subject is journalism or preparing for the zombie apocalypse, our workshops foster creativity while strengthening

writing skills. This includes two long running workshops, our reading development workshop Barnacle’s Bookworms, and our Journalism workshop.

FIELD TRIPS

Weekday mornings, public school teachers bring their students to 826LA for a

morning of collaboration, creativity, and writing. Whether the topic is Storytelling

& Bookmaking, Choose Your Own Adventure, or something entirely different, these three-hour field trips are always in high demand. Every student leaves with an individualized publication of the finished story under his or her arm, complete with illustrations and an author photo!

J.J. Abrams

Miguel Arteta Mac Barnett Steve Barr

Joshuah Bearman Amy Brooks

Father Greg Boyle, SJ Stefan G. Bucher Mark Flanagan Ben Goldhirsh

Rebecca Goldman

Ellen Goldsmith-Vein DeAnna Gravillis Spike Jonze

Miranda July

Catherine Keener Keith Knight Al Madrigal

Krystyn Madrigal

Echo Park Natalie S. Jose R.

Genessi L.

Vincent H.

Gabriela R. Josue R.

Dayanara M.L. Ana M.L.

Yamilka M.L.

Samantha J. Mar Vista Nadia V.

Nasim Z.

Michael R. Mirna R.

Vanessa A.

Katherine G.

Tara Roth

Katie McGrath

R. Scott Mitchell

217

STAFF Joel Arquillos

Russel Altamirano

Marisa Urrutia Gedney

Workshops in Mar Vista

College Access

Program Coordinator,

Executive Director

Program Coordinator,

Director of In-Schools Programs &

Cynthia Aguilar

Beatriz Garcia

Tutoring in Echo Park

Mar Vista

Program Coordinator,

Director of Programs & Operations,

Rebecca Escoto

Shawn Silver

Tutoring in Mar Vista

Nadia Bamdad-Delgado

Program Coordinator,

Echo Park

Cathy Mayer

Director of Advancement & Events

Pedro Estrada

Senior Programs & Writing Manager,

Tutoring & Workshops in Echo Park

Lauren Humphrey

Program Coordinator,

Cheryl Klein

Jennie Najarro

Manager

Angelica Butiu-Coronado

Institutional Giving Manager

Field Trips in Echo Park

Development & Communications

Volunteer Coordinator, Mar Vista

Mariesa Arrañaga Kubasek

Program Coordinator, Writers’ Room

Volunteer Manager Carinne Mangold

Store Manager, Time Travel Marts in Echo Park & Mar Vista Rachel Mendelsohn Design Manager T Sarmina

Program Manager, Writers’ Room at Manual Arts High School Mike Dunbar

Senior Programs & Operations

Coordinator, Field Trips in Mar Vista LaTesha Adolphus

Program Coordinator, In-Schools

at Roosevelt High School

AMERICORPS VISTA MEMBERS Andrea Mendez

Marketing & Communications Coordinator

Maricruz Pool-Chan

Volunteer Coordinator, Echo Park, Public Allies