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THE LAST WEEK IN REVIEW FEBRUARY 20-FEBRUARY 27, 2013 COMPILED BY CATHY RESMER & TYLER MACHADO

PHOTOS: CATHY RESMER

Burlington ’Bot Battle

ANTISOCIAL MEDIA Rep. Peter Welch wants to stop employers from requiring workers and applicants to fork over socialmedia passwords. A fewer-than-140 characters fix? “Take this job and shove it!”

Central Vermont Robotics’ Robo-Raiders CVU RoboHawks

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Steven Cray, the new Vermont Guard general, gets sworn in the same day the sequester would furlough 1000 DoD workers in Vermont. No easy first day.

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n Saturday, hundreds of techie teens converged on the University of Vermont’s Dudley H. Davis Center for the FIRST Vermont Tech Challenge, a daylong high-school robotics competition. Think science fair on steroids.

FIRST is a New Hampshire-based nonprofit founded in 1989 by inventor Dean Kamen. Its annual Tech Challenge invites high schoolers to build robots to tackle a series of tasks, which change from year to year. UVM’s tourney, the first of its kind in Vermont, drew 28 teams from the Northeast and beyond — including four from Bloomfield Hills, Michigan — all vying for two berths in the FIRST World Championships in St. Louis in April. Each team brought a robot designed to zoom across a 12-by-12-foot field, pick up plastic rings and place them on a chest-high rack. Most of the five Vermont teams had never competed before. Champlain Valley Union High School freshman Tripp Norris was new to the scene. He said he enjoyed building a robot and making it move. “It’s kind of fun,” he said, “seeing your own project come up from the ground, and competing with it.” Essex High School is home to the state’s longest-running FIRST program. Its team, the Cyborg Gentleman Crabs, went to the World Championships last year, and also participated in UVM’s tourney. Seven Days assistant arts editor Megan James profiled them last October (“Teen Transformers,” Oct.2,2012).

Read more about the competition, and see photos and videos, on the Vermont Tech Jam website, techjamvt.com.

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STATE of THEarts

Heron Dance Wild Nature Art Gallery Spreads Its Wings in Winooski B Y PA MELA PO LSTON MATTHEW THORSEN

Rod MacIver at the Heron Dance Wild Nature Art Gallery

ART

eron Dance. The words themselves are evocative, though of what we’re not sure. Do herons dance? What would that look like? Or is the pair of words a metaphor? Maybe the whole point of their juxtaposition is to force you to slow down and meditate on nature. That would certainly describe ROD MACIVER’s serene artwork: sof t, dreamy images of landscapes and creatures — an owl, a bear, a butterfl y, a fl ock of birds in fl ight. He’s been making art for some 20 years, and sells it in the f orms of original paintings, prints, calendars and notecards. From his North Ferrisburgh studio, f ounded in 1994, MacIver sends some 16,000 subscribers a daily e-newsletter called A Pause f or Beauty. It includes images and MacIver’s refl ections on lif e inspired by “wild rivers, wild nature and the Tao.” Fans can spring for a $180 limited-edition collection of art

and essays in a handsome clamshell box, or just like MacIver on Facebook. And, starting this Friday, you can walk into MacIver’s brand-new HERON DANCE WILD NATURE ART GALLERYin Winooski and check out the work yourself. Located at 45 Main Street — f acing the tra° c circle and beside the Winooski Welcome Center — the capacious space boasts 24-f oot ceilings and a bank of tall, west-f acing windows. MacIver will display his own work and merchandise and says he also plans to exhibit large sculptures by other artists. “I have three sculptors in mind and intend to do more research,” he says. “But there’s just so much going on, getting the gallery set up.” Not to mention running the f ulﬁ llment end of the Heron Dance enterprise, which takes place in North Ferrisburgh with the help of assistants. Then there are MacIver’s writing and painting — both essential to his unique

Vermont Psych Professor Pioneers a “Sexy” Curriculum Focused on Ethics

22 STATE OF THE ARTS

SEVEN DAYS

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B Y AMY LI LLY

merican sex education teaches young people to protect themselves f rom the dangers of sexual activity. But does it teach them how to treat one another with respect? Not enough, says Shelburne resident SHARON LAMB, author of a new book directed at teachersin-training called Sex Edf or Caring Schools: Creating an Ethics-Based Curriculum. Lamb argues that even progressive sex-ed programs don’t go f ar enough, because they don’t address sexual behavior in an ethical context. One such comparatively progressive program is Safer Choices, a health-based comprehensive sexual education (CSE) curriculum approved by the Vermont Department of Education. At Burlington High School, Safer Choices is taught to ninth graders during health class. The unit begins by encouraging abstinence

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but covers all contingencies, including a demonstration by a local pediatrician of how to open and put on a condom. According to BHS health-and-physical-education teacher GAYLE BOTELHO, the class also covers issues related to sex that go beyond health. “There’s a lot about power in relationships, sexual identities and di˝ erent religions’ and cultures’ rules,” says Botelho, who has taught the course for 10 years. That puts BHS ahead of most high schools in the U.S., where sex ed of ten consists of teaching abstinence only until marriage (AOUM). The subject of morals and sex has largely become a province of AOUM curricula — at least since the religious right appropriated the language of f amily values, Lamb writes in a succinct history of the country’s approach to sex ed. Unf ortunately, in 2004, the Waxman Report found the majority of AOUM curricula to contain inaccurate or misleading medical information. CSE advocates have

attempted to combat the spread of such programs, Lamb writes, by “presenting the most value-f ree, scientifi c, reduced curriculum that can’t be attacked.” But Lamb, who chairs the Department of Counseling and School Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Boston, believes CSE programs such as Saf er Choices have lost something in the process. Namely, they don’t place sexuality in the context of the West’s long tradition of philosophy concerning the moral behavior of individuals vis-à-vis each other and society. And when crucial ethical matters germane to sex, such as consent and coercion, are discussed in AOUM classes, they are “dumbed down,” Lamb says, to such exercises as “Name fi ve ways to say no.” These social-skills approaches of ten enf orce gender stereotyping — in this instance, by assuming the girl is in need of refusal skills and the boy the aggressor. They also ignore the huge ramifi cations these matters have in society,

from domestic violence and rape to child pornography. “There’s a history of moral-development research that says there are speciﬁ c ways to enhance moral reasoning and moral development, and it’s not social-skills training,” Lamb says in a telephone interview. Moreover, Lamb says, teaching students “how you’re going to prevent yourself from being harmed” — whether in CSE health classes or AOUM refusalskills training — “creates a kind of selfishness, a focus on the individual instead

Got AN ArtS tIP? artnews@sevendaysvt.com self-expression, he points out. MacIver dovetailed with his desire to come back spends days of each week at his cabin to town, as it were. “I’d been wanting to studio in the Adirondacks. The wooded move to the Burlington area for a while,” locale is the wellspring for much of his he says. “[The Winooski space] is perwork, including a forthcoming book fect for what I have in mind.” titled Wild Rivers and MacIver hopes the Tao. people will patronize MacIver, 57, has a the new gallery, but, long history of exploring again, he’s thinking wilderness areas in his bigger: “The plan is native Canada. He left to market the paintbehind careers in real ings and sculptures to estate and investment, architects all over the and he beat cancer — Northeast,” he says. “It more than once. Now will take a few months devoted to living simply to get going.” and close to nature, Meanwhile, curious he laughs gently when art lovers are invited asked why he’s complito the grand opening cating his life by opening of Heron Dance Wild a gallery. Hey, a guy can Nature Art Gallery this ro D mA cI V E r dream. Literally, as it Friday. Music by the turns out. Hardscrabble Hounds “It sounds flakey, but I had a dream and Helen Hummel just might make the a few months ago of a huge house built people dance, if not the birds. m around this enormous painting, perhaps 35 feet wide,” he explains. “I’ve been thinking about how I would do that.” Heron Dance Wild Nature Art Gallery, Yes, MacIver intends to start paint45 Main Street, Winooski. Reception ing big. Very big — “in acrylic ink, Friday, March 1, 5 to 8 p.m. Info, 922-9652. probably on panels,” he says. Finding herondance.org a venue to accommodate such works

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students. “In our class, the teacher says, ‘How do you justify that ethically, and does it work for society?’” The idea, Lamb adds, is for the teacher to keep his or her own ethical standpoint hidden while teaching the students to build a foundation for their own views and behavior based in universal ethical principles. Readers of Lamb’s previous books, Packaging Girlhood and Packaging Boyhood (both coauthored), know she is savvy on gender relations as portrayed in media, marketing and popular culture. But those book tours, Lamb recalls, drew mostly “middle-class parents who all wanted to know about what can I do about my child.” She wrote Sex Ed for Caring Schools, by contrast, to “try to teach an ethic of mutuality.” SECS-C’s goals may be less measurable than the usual metrics for judging sex-ed curricula: a reduction in sexual harassment, say, rather than lower pregnancy rates. But, as Lamb says, “I don’t think you can go wrong speaking up for caring and respect and love.” m

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SEVENDAYSVt.com SEVEN DAYS STATE OF THE ARTS 23

of society.” What both curricula miss is the opportunity to discuss “why you don’t coerce, why it’s morally wrong.” If education in a democracy is, as John Dewey taught, the development of good citizens, then sex education should promote the development of “good sexual citizens,” Lamb writes. To accompany Sex Ed for Caring Schools, Lamb and her colleagues have made a complete curriculum available for free at sexandethics.com. It includes readings mentioned in the book, ranging from excerpts from Aristotle and Hume to online chats between teenagers about the unsolicited kiss Adrien Brody planted on Halle Barre during the 2003 Oscars. Abbreviated as SECS-C (“C” for curriculum; the acronym is pronounced “sexy”), the class is aimed at high school juniors and seniors but can be adjusted for younger students. Currently, two of Lamb’s graduate students are test-teaching the curriculum to ninth graders in a Boston charter school. “The students get so into it,” Lamb reports. “They’re interested in talking about ethics, because teenagers want to do what’s right.” Recently, the class discussed Chris Brown’s arrest in 2009 for hitting fellow singer Rihanna. “They thought she deserved it,” Lamb says of the

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state

of the arts cO u RTESy OF Middl EBu Ry cO ll EgE

Midd Students Practice Minimalism With an Artwork by Sol LeWitt B y K Evi n J. K El l E y

he First Commandment f or museumgoers — thou shalt not touch — has been suspended this week f or 13 Middlebury College art-history students. They’re drawing with crayons on a wall of the college’s Museu M of art . What would usu ally be considered totally transgressive behavior is actually an essential act in regard to the centerpiece of a show titled “Linear Thinking: Sol LeWitt, Modern, Postmodern and Contemporary Art E Dw A r D f rom the Collection.” The students in Middlebury prof essor edward Vazquez ’s course on minimalism are completing a LeWitt wall drawing in

accordance with instructions f rom the artist’s estate. This major American minimalist, who died in 2007 at the age of 78, had a practice of allowing people other than him self to fill in grids that he or assistants had thinly sketched in pencil on a wall. Such exercises in participatory creativity were carried out within strict limits, however. LeWitt specified the types of materials and colors to be used while also laying down pre cise rules f or how his prescribed diagrams VA z q u E z were to be executed. For example, the students aren’t using Crayola crayons. They’re working with water-soluble Caran d’Ache Neo

ART

If th Is pIece were Installed 10 t Imes, It would always be recogn Izable as the same pIece, buT TheRe would be some idiosync RAcies.

Color II Artists’ Crayons — Black #7500, as LeWitt decreed. In the case of his “Wall Drawing #394,” which is on loan from the artist’s estate, the students have also been told there are three possible ways — horizontal, vertical and diagonal — to draw lines in modules of the grid, explains show curator eMMie donadio . Vazquez further elucidates the interplay between the master’s template and his acolytes’ autonomy: “If this piece were installed 10 times, it would always be recognizable as the same piece, but there would be some idiosyncracies.” Middlebury’s version of the work will be completed by March 4 and remain on view until April 21. Then it will be erased. LeWitt liked to emphasize the “essential impermanence” of works of art, Vazquez notes. Not all the artist’s wall drawings have expiration dates — several are in permanent collections, including that of the

Middlebury College art students

After 20 Years, a Graphic Designer for Clinton-Gore Gets His Just Rewards

24 STATE OF THE ARTS

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B y K En Pi c A R d

n the summer of 1992, when doug was a graphic artist living in Beltsville, Md., he designed a logo for the Clinton-Gore campaign that would become the iconic image of the 1992 and ’96 presidential races. Two decades later, Dunbebin, who now lives in Burlington and owns alphawa Ve designs , has learned that he’ll finally get some long-overdue recogni tion — and hard cash — f or his artistic efforts. Last week, the Clinton Museum Store in Little Rock, Ark., agreed to sell T-shirts bearing Dunbebin’s original design: an electric-blue-on-black illus tration of Bill Clinton blowing his tenor saxophone below the slogan “The Cure for the Blues.” In June 1992, then-candidate Clinton appeared on “The Arsenio Hall Show” playing a bluesy sax version of Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel.” The perf ormance was a seminal moment in Clinton’s career, earning him invaluable street cred among young, hip and minority voters. Weeks later, Dunbebin, then 30, dunbebin

Dunbebin was soon spending all his free time printing shirts for the ClintonGore campaign offices. In all, he sold more than 45,000, and donated all the proceeds — $30,000 — to Habitat f or Humanity. But Dunbebin soon discovered that the Clinton-Gore campaign store in Little Rock was selling bootlegged knockoffs of his original design on T-shirts and pins, with a slightly altered slogan that read, “Sure Cure for the Blues.” Dunbebin asked the store to stop selling the pirated versions immediately, but the sales persisted. Faced with no other option, Dunbebin retained a Little Rock lawyer who sued the campaign, and the 42nd president, for trademark infringement. Slick Willy managed to wriggle free as a defendant capitalized on Clinton’s newfound cool- — evidently, the Clinton-Gore store was an independent contractor unconnected ness and printed his design on several to the campaign itself — but Dunbebin dozen T-shirts, then asked f riends to recouped $5000 in damages. sell them at the Democratic National Years later, af ter Dunbebin’s design Convention in New York City. The shirts was used againf or Clinton’s 1996 were an instant hit.

reelection campaign, he got to meet the president face to face. Clinton shook his hand and autographed his design on a poster. Eight years ago, Dunbebin and Connie Fails, manager of the Clinton Museum Store, failed to ink a deal to sell the “Cure for the Blues” shirts. But just weeks ago, while cleaning out a closet, Dunbebin came across some of his original correspondence with Fails and, without really knowing why, checked an old business email account. Coincidentally, just days before, Fails had sent an email asking Dunbebin if the Clinton Store could once again sell his shirts — this time using the real McCoy — to coincide with Little Rock’s Riverfest music and arts festival. A deal was struck, and Dunbebin came up with a new commemorative version of his original design. “It’s kind of exciting to see them coming back af ter 20 years,” says Dunbebin, who plans to donate at least 10 percent of his profits to charity. m

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HOOD MUSEUM OF ART at Dartmouth College.

Even so, ephemerality is a recurrent aspect of LeWitt’s aesthetic. Students’ hands-on role in installing this piece provides them “with a much more embedded way to discuss LeWitt’s work,” Vazquez suggests. In addition to the excitement of cocreating a work by a famed American artist, the students get to experience “the monotony of the process,” their teacher points out. “There’s no shortcut to drawing these lines on the wall,” Vazquez says, estimating that the process will require about 50 combined hours of labor. “It’s important that they get the repetitive nature of producing the piece.” Donadio and a couple of other Middlebury art profs have selected a dozen pieces from the museum’s collection to complement the LeWitt wall drawing. Picasso and Matisse are represented by wavy figure sketches. Also included is a painstakingly composed op-art piece in black and white by Vermont’s own Frank Hewitt, who died in 1992.

Stowe Theatre Guild will be holding auditions for

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the third performance of the 2013 season. All the pieces are “characterized by The Drowsy Chaperone is both a riotous parody reliance on line, whether hard edged of 1920’s screwball musical comedy and a heartfelt or organic,” Donadio notes. The earlier love letter to the musical genre as a whole. • sturdy works exhibit the distinctive touch any complete frame • inclinable of their creators, while in those made job with this ad. AUDITION DATES • handy tray for storing paints closer to our own time, “the lines are Saturday, 3/2: 1-5pm & brushes anonymous,” Donadio says. “They Sunday, 3/3: 1-5pm • holds canvas up to 49" don’t show characteristics of the artist’s exp. 03/20/13 Monday, 3/4: 6:30pm (possible callbacks) personality.” Some of the pioneering minimalists For additional details and audition materials, in the 1960s sought to expunge traces of please visit stowetheatre.com. Auditioners are the artist’s hand from their works — in encouraged to sign up for an audition slot by contacting sharp contrast to the emotive outpourLeslie Anderson at auditions@stowetheater.com. 194 College Street Street, Burlington Burlington 98 Church ings of the abstract expressionists who 864.5475 • boutiliers.com 802.864.5475 preceded them. Akeley Memorial Building M-Sat 10-6, Sun 12-5 www.boutiliers.com The students completing the Stowe Theatre Guild, Main Street, Stowe LeWitt piece, first crafted in 1983, can thus be seen as technicians. But they’ll 2/18/1312v-Boutiliers022013.indd 1:21 PM 1 2/15/13 be leaving their own distinctive marks,12v-stowetheater022013.indd 1 as well.

1:42 PM

“Linear Thinking: Sol LeWitt, Modern, Postmodern and Contemporary Art from the Collection,” Middlebury College Museum of Art. Through April 21. middlebury.edu/exhibitions

Jaime Laredo, Music Director

www.vso.org

BACH Concerto for Two Violins

FILE: MATTHEW THORSEN

DAVID LUDWIG Seasons Lost MOZART Symphony No. 40

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Musically Speaking, 7:00 pm Enrich your concert-going experience with a free, lively and interactive discussion.

Featuring: Jaime Laredo, conductor and violin Vinay Parameswaran, conductor Jennifer Koh, violin SPONSORED BY:

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8:00 pm at the Flynn Center for the Performing Arts, Burlington

02.27.13-03.06.13

2012/2013 CO-SPONSOR:

STATE OF THE ARTS 25

It’s the end of an era. By April 1, all of greater Burlington’s indoor theaters will present films using digital projection. Owner MERRILL JARVIS III says that he plans to convert the last two holdouts — the downtown MERRILL’S ROXY CINEMAS and South Burlington PALACE 9 — in mid-March. Merrill Jarvis III The cost: $100,000 per screen, with 15 screens total. Two of those screens will be 3-D capable at the Roxy, and three at the Palace. Jarvis says he’ll also update the sound systems at both multiplexes to 7.1 surround sound. For theater owners, digital conversion is no longer a choice. Not only are studios increasingly reluctant to ship out heavy film prints, but Fujifilm has announced plans to stop manufacturing motion-picture film stock in March. (Kodak, meanwhile, is in bankruptcy.) Across the U.S., owners of small, independent theaters — such as the FAIRLEE DRIVE-IN, which we wrote about last August — are desperately raising funds for their conversion. It’s a sad time for those who love the flicker of 35-millimeter film. But Jarvis says he’ll keep one old film projector in storage at each theater — just in case.

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6:37 PM

the straight dope bY cecil adams

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Dear cecil, As bodily defense mechanisms go, pain makes sense: Put your hand on a hot stove and your body screams, “Get out of here!” But what’s the purpose of itching? chicken pox, mosquito bites, hemorrhoids and rashes — why do we instinctively react by scratching? Why must we fight the urge to dig in at an inflamed area, knowing that as soon as we stop, the fire ants will start flaring up on our flesh all over again? SmB, chicago

and two other researchers. A few nuggets from their paper: • Itching is all in your head. OK, obvious up to a point — everyone knows the brain hosts all sensation. However, it helps to remember that when you sense an itch, what’s really happening is that a sensation we understand as “itching” is projected onto the map of the body maintained inside the brain. Sometimes, as in the case of itching arising from neurological or psychiatric causes, there’s no strictly external stimulus at all. But even in the case of an ordinary itch on, say, your arm, what’s going on is that something on or in the skin triggers an event in the brain, which

However: • Where most everyday itching is concerned, you’d better get used to it. Paus and associates make a couple points: First, nobody has found an itch control center in the brain that, if knocked out, would make itching stop, and there may not be one. Second, while the fact that itching can be suppressed by other sensations (in addition to pain, extreme heat and cold are also effective) opens the door to better treatments, the underlying mechanisms are extraordinarily varied and complicated and right now only dimly understood. For the time being, the most effective way of relieving itch is, alas, to scratch.

Is there something you need to get straight? cecil adams can deliver the straight dope on any topic. Write cecil adams at the chicago reader, 11 e. illinois, chicago, il 60611, or cecil@chireader.com. 02.27.13-03.06.13

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called pruriceptors, a subset of the damage-sensing neurons called nociceptors. Pruriceptors specialize in detecting certain very faint stimuli and elicit a specialized response: Whereas pain makes you withdraw, itching makes you scratch. Looking at the larger picture, it also seems clear if you have a literally hairtrigger sensory modality, along with some legitimate signal you’re going to get a lot of noise. That’s about as far as we can go in the way of definite pronouncements. Reading through the journals about the neurology of itching, you get the sense of well-meaning folk poking around in an extremely tangled fuse box. Fortunately, I came across an illuminating review of the current state of knowledge published a few years ago by dermatologist Ralf Paus along with Schmelz

• Itching can be controlled by pain. When we scratch, we inflict low-level pain on ourselves, which temporarily makes the itch go away. Although pain and itch are separate sensations, they use many of the same neural mechanisms and processing centers, and pain has the higher priority. To put it another way, when a neural pathway is carrying a pain signal, itch gets put on hold. • Itching has many causes. A “bewilderingly wide range” of stimuli in the skin can trigger itching, Paus and company write. Histamine, the compound that triggers the inflammatory response, causes itching, but so do at least 15 other types of chemical stimuli, triggering various different sets of neural receptors. Itching, in other words, is merely a klaxon that calls attention to a broad array of irritants. It doesn’t tell you what the irritant is. • Painkillers can make itching worse. You might think an analgesic would deaden all

sensation and thus reduce itching, but in fact the opposite often happens. This makes sense once you understand that pain tends to cancel out itch — when pain is out of the picture, itching is no longer held in check. The plus side of this is that pain in controlled amounts can make itch go away. For example, capsaicin, the painful irritant found in hot peppers, can be used to curb certain types of chronic itch.

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ome now, this isn’t that complicated. Itching alerts us to the presence of potentially troublesome critters and substances and impels us to poke at them. Notwithstanding occasional false alarms, surely you can see the value in acting reflexively to get rid of that bothersome tsetse fly or, more prosaically, some irritating tick, flea or louse. What’s less clear is how itching works. That’s a matter of more than academic interest, since, as you suggest, excessive itching and scratching creates its own problems, and not having a clear idea what makes something start means it’s tougher to make it stop. When I first wrote about this subject years ago, it was thought itching was a mild form of pain. Nobody thinks that now. In 1997 a research team led by Martin Schmelz established the existence of itch-selective neurons

instinctively causes you to scratch your arm, which sends a competing neural message to your brain, which drowns out the original stimulus. As Paus and company put it, it’s “almost as if we were scratching the brain itself.”

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FOXTROT We just had to ask...

Do Vermont video stores still rent adult movies?

Jarvis reports that demand for skin flicks went flaccid many years ago. As with so many social trends, the gay community led the way online, with gay-porn rentals dropping off faster than hetero-porn. What’s a porn fan who still wants that hands-on video-rental experience to do? Thankfully, a few local independent stores that managed to survive — nay, outlast! — Blockbuster Video have maintained adult-movie collections for their loyal customers. Rick Ransom, owner of Passport Video in Williston since 2009 — the store itself

lection for nudity. And yeah, there’s an app for that, too. In many regions of the U.S., video stores are already as obsolete as “Be Kind, Rewind” stickers. With a handful still serving their devoted clientele, Vermont is an exception — but how are our stores coping with the online porn explosion? One large player is getting out of the porn-rental business. At Burlington’s Waterfront Video, whose adult-movie collection boasts more than 300 titles, buyer Seth Jarvis recently revealed that he’s begun selling the flicks off. (He plans to keep a few X-rated classics, such as Debbie Does Dallas and Deep Throat.) Not surprisingly,

has been around for 25 years — reports that he still keeps about 100 adult movies on hand for rental and sale. “It’s not much,” concedes Ransom of his collection, which he doesn’t advertise except by word of mouth. “As far as the adult [films], they’re pretty much compilations and some storyline titles,” he explains. “Nothing overly extravagant — no fetishes or anything like that.” Ditto for Video King in St. Albans, part of a small, family-owned chain of video stores in Vermont and New York that’s been around since 1988. For the past 14 years, Melody Ferland has managed the store, where she’s happy to talk about the

BY KEN PI CA RD

nce upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, Vermont couples and lonely hearts could drop into their neighborhood video store and check out an adult movie or three. On any given Saturday night, they’d reconnoiter at the small enclave at the rear of the store, usually set off by swinging doors, hanging beads or heavy black felt. After ensuring they weren’t being watched by — or walking in on — their local minister or child’s first-grade teacher, they’d duck inside and peruse the goods. There, depending on the collection, their mood and the other clientele, the experience could be hilarious, titillating or just plain icky. Now, welcome to the golden age of virtual sex, when every imaginable taste, fetish and predilection is available at the click of a mouse, in the privacy of your own home. (To wit: The second- and fifth-most-clickedon stories on the Seven Days website are titled “Naked Ambition” and “Live Nude Students,” respectively. One can only imagine searchers’ disappointment at discovering words rather than provocative photos.)

porn collection — though she admits there’s not much to tell. “What can I say? They’re adult videos,” she says with a laugh. Ferland’s Video King has only 75 adult titles, a tiny fraction of the store’s 14,000 movies, which range from childhood favorites to cult classics. As Ferland explains, Video King has never had a “sin room” but instead uses a notebook system, allowing skin-flick customers to browse the titles without offending the sensibilities of family-oriented clientele. That way, she says, “We don’t have to keep track of where the 12-year-olds are hiding.” Reg, who didn’t want to give his last name, has owned Hollywood Video in South Burlington for 28 years. He was initially reluctant to discuss his store’s X-rated videos. Why the shyness? Evidently, some years ago a doctored photo of his store appeared in a newspaper, which led readers to believe that all he rented was skin flicks. Understandably, Reg was pissed. Today, Hollywood has about 300 adult titles in a total collection of some 1500 videos. At one time, the store had as many as 5000 titles, but Netflix and other ondemand services have eaten away at Reg’s profits, he laments. While adult-film rentals account for a small portion of his overall business — video-game rentals and sales are far more profitable — Reg still keeps them on hand in a room in the basement, safely out of reach of younger viewers. Hollywood Video even provides brown paper bags in which adultmovie customers can bring their selections to the checkout. Ah, the anonymous brown paper bag. That’s something you can tell your grandchildren about — once they come of age. Outraged, or merely curious, about something? Send your burning question to wtf@sevendaysvt.com.

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Today, more than 26 million pornographic websites operate worldwide, according to the Business Insider website. The online porn biz rakes in about $2.8 billion annually in the U.S. alone, and nearly $5 billion globally. At any given time, one in every four search-engine queries — and one in three downloads — is porn related. No wonder local video stores, which for years rented films with such clever titles as Romancing the Bone, Chitty Chitty Gang Bang and Lawrence of a Labia, have had such a rough ride. As if on-demand cable services and Netflix weren’t threatening enough to brick-and-mortar stores, there’s now a site called BateFlix, which lets Netflix users more easily browse the col-

2/6/13 4:09 PM

XXXtra, XXXtra Read all about it: the 2013 sex survey

e already knew some Vermonters were kinky — when we last conducted this survey, in 2011, more than a third of our respondents copped to having sex with vegetables. Local ones, we presume. But early last month, we learned that denizens of the Green Mountain State are doin’ it right, too: In a study by the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, Vermont ranked No. 1 in the nation for sexual health. That study looked at factors such as sexually transmitted disease rates, teen births and sexual violence. Vermont scored points for marriage equality and access to abortion and emergency birth control. It rocketed to the top thanks to the state’s AIDS and cervical cancer rates, which are the lowest in the country. Awesome. Our survey takes a more prying tack. We set out to discover who turns you on and what makes you squirm — and boy, did you deliver! You told us about making creative use of wooden spoons. You shared your fantasies featuring Viking longships and Freddie Mercury. You surprised us with your willingness to turn inﬁ delity intoménage à trois. Congrats, Vermonters. Not only are most of you in exemplary sexual health, you’re also raunchy as hell. ME GAN J AME S

Who are you?

SEVEN DAYS

Eighty percent were deﬂ owered by their 19th birthday — and that includes nearly 100 respondents who lost it bef ore turning 15. Almost all the rest joined the club during college years. So no big surprises here.

3.7% 2.4%

Should we f eel bad f or the 7 percent of you who reported zero partners in the last 12 months? And are condolences or congratulations in order for the 10 percent who had five or more? It’s just so hard to tell with these things. But we’re pretty sure the 54 percent who stuck with just one partner are doing something right. That stat pretty much equals the percentage of you who are married or “going steady,” but of course these are not necessarily the exact same peeps who reported just one partner.

How often do you have sex? How often do you masturbate? It’s interesting to look at the answers to these two questions together, because roughly a third of you f ell into the “a few times a week” camp for both. Again, not necessarily the same third, but still. Just a tiny percentage claimed to have sex or masturbate “multiple times a day” — 2.4 and about 4 percent, respectively. Even so, we’d love to know how these people manage to, er, squeeze it in. Maybe the roughly 4 percent of you who responded “never” to one or both questions are getting everybody else’s work done. Thanks for that.

4.2%

2.4%

9.4%

3.8% 3.7%

30.5% 16.8% 23.7%

HAVE SEX

2.1%

3.9%

9.6%

28 FEATURE

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

How many sex partners, if any, have you had in the last year?

How often do you...

02.27.13-03.06.13

SEVENDAYSVT.COM SEVENDAYSVT.COM

The demographic breakdown of our 1224 respondents is similar to those of years past: nearly evenly divided between males and f emales. Nearly 40 percent of you are in your twenties, and 80 percent identiﬁ ed as heterosexual. Politically, you’re most likely to be Democrats or Independents, though Republicans make up nearly 8 percent, up 1 percent from last year. Interestingly, nearly 80 percent of the ﬁ f ty- and

sixtysomethings in this survey are male, while about 60 percent of twenty- and thirtysomethings are female.

B Y S EV EN D A Y S S T A F F

30.5%

Multiple times a day Once a day

4.2%

8.1%

Multiple times a day

14.8%

Once a day

33.1%

A few times a week

19.8

19.6%

At least once a week

13.8

16.3%

At least once a month

20.1%

14.8%

A few times a week

23.7%

At least once a week

16.8%

At least once a month

33.1%

9.6%

A few times a year

3.8%

Never

9.4%

Other

16.3%

19.6%

MASTURBATE

2.1

19.8%

20.8%

13.8%

7.0

16.3

8.1%

A few times a year

20.8

3.9%

Never

20.1

16.3%

WATCH PORN

Do Doyou youfeel feelsexy sexyin inyour yourown ownnaked naked body? Yes: 66% No: 35%

ILLUSTRATIONS: SEAN METCALF

If Ifyou youhave haveaapenis, penis,is isit it circumcised? Yes: 79% No: 21% Looks Only 62 62 Lookslike likecircumcision circumcisionisisfalling falling out out of fashion. Only percent of of dong-endowed dong-endowed twentysomethings twentysomethingssaid saidthey’d they’d been snipped, compared compared with with85 85percent percentofofthirtysomethirtysomethings and 92 percent in their forties.

How Howoften oftendo doyou youwatch watchporn? porn? Porn doesn’t appear to be too popular among our twentysomething respondents. Could it be because most happen to be women? More than 30 percent of female respondents said they don’t watch the stu˜ , compared with 7 percent of men. Of respondents in their forties and ﬁ fties, most said they watch porn a f ew times a year. And the trend continues: The age group most likely to be watching porn at least once a week? Fifty- and sixtysomethings. It’s easier than DIY.

Are you satisﬁ ed with your current sex life? Regardless of age, political a˛ liation or sexual orientation, this one breaks down almost exactly 50-50. Men are slightly more likely than women to be unsatisﬁ ed. Marriage increases the likelihood of satisf action, especially for women: About 57 percent of married people said they’re happy with their sex lives, compared with roughly 21 percent of single folks who said the same.

3.7%

Once a day A few times a week

23.7%

At least once a week

16.8%

At least once a month A few times a year

3.8%

Never

9.4%

Other

In a sexual context, what do you prefer to call your genitals? You like “cunt” more than “pussy”; “cock” more than “dick.” But the best names are the ones you come up with yourself. Cunny, chatte, chubby and ﬁ ne china. Doodlebug, da boys and down there. Fun zone, goonch, little juice and My Name Jr. “Clit, vag and, for fun, shantung (a Japanese cucumber),” wrote a thirtysomething bisexual woman. A f ellow in his ﬁ f ties o˜ ered this delight: “meat and two veg.” OfOfcourse, course,the the name you you bestow on your yourprivates privates often f o ten depends on on the mood and the company you’re keeping. “It wasn’t until this current relationship that I ref erred to it as a pussy, which prior I thought was tasteless,” said a pansexual writer in her thirties. “Ninety percent cock, 55percent percent cunt, 5 percent percent avoidance,” avoidance,” was the enigmatic response of of aa thirtysomething trans guy. Some if it it were were aaperson: person: Someofofyou youname nameyour your junk junk as if Erik, Gertrude, Igor, Big Jim and the twins, Jerome (“as in the Bo Diddley song ‘[Bring] It to Jerome,’” wrote a retired man), Mr. President, Mr. Baggins and Mr. Friendly. “If I were brave enough,” wrote a thirtysomething dude, “I’d refer to him as Phallic Baldwin.” SEX SURVEY

» P.30

FEATURE 29

9.6%

Do you have any genital piercings? Apparently, the Prince Albert hasn’t made it to Vermont — or it’s come and long gone. A whopping 98 percent of your privates are piercing free.

SEVEN DAYS

30.5%

Perhaps squirting comes with practice. Sixty percent of women over 50 said they’d ejaculated, compared with 42 percent of twentysomethings.

A wild boar A joyful beast A lion A tiger A bear A strangled priest A nun without her habit A superhero changing into an uncomfortable costume I’m winning a ﬁ ght to the death against unlikely odds I giggle Like a champ Like I stubbed my toe really hard I’m mad I’m happy as all hell Happy like the great Mississippi A Bach cadence An opera singer A fucking symphony A wailing ghost A wounded dog I have rainbows coming out of my ears A Foley sound artist for a ’40s cartoon A stuttering car engine A steam locomotive A generator winding down contents under pressure A crowd of teenaged girls at a Justin Bieber concert A lumberjack chopping down a tree An overweight Russian longingly calling his own name Linda Blair in ˜ e Exorcist! Björk Darth Vader John McEnroe winning Wimbledon A hot-air balloon A diving submarine An F-35 A yes machine A tea kettle ° e wind in a creaky old barn A sigh of relief Quiet

02.27.13-03.06.13

Multiple times a day

Yes: 44% No: 56%

A f ew of you landed on a “goddess,” more still on a “porn star.” Several mentioned marathons, and some took their cue f rom Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. A number of you looked to the animal kingdom f or inspiration when pressed to fi ll in the blank. A dolphin! A gorilla! When one fortysomething couple makes waves, he sounds like a “reserved walrus,” she like a “seal.” We especially appreciated the alliteration-loving reader who came up with “a pot-bellied pig plunging into a pile of mud.” And so, in honor of that poetic fl ourish, we’ll let you have the fi nal word on this one. Consider this your found poem:

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

2.4%

IfIfyou youhave haveaavagina, vagina,have haveyou youever ever ejaculated?

When I come, I sound like…

Sex Survey « P.29

no music at at all. all.Wrote Wroteone onesuch suchrerespondent, “your [sic] [sic] supposed supposedtotolisten listentotomusic music #f #fail.” ail.” #whatever. Taking a closer look… As the popularity popularityofofEDM EDM continues to swell, continues to swell, locallocal lovers increasingly get aarise riseout outofofitsitsthrobbing throbbing strains, strains, from techno to moombahton moombahtonto todeep deephouse houseto to……one oneperson person who wrote, “I dub to fuckstep.” fuckstep.” Well, Well,of ofcourse courseyou youdo. do. Locally, Grace Potter Potter isisthe thesoundtrack soundtrackof of choice choice for nocturnal emissions, emissions,with withWaylon Waylon Speed f or shared nocturnal Speed positioned just behind behind……er,er, next. Local drummer next. Local drummer

What’s your favorite sex toy?

I MAKE YAWNING FACES ATATSKIIERS SKIIERS

SEAN METCALF

WHEN I’M ABOUT TO COME.

What’s your go-to mood music for sex? In Vermont, the hills are alive with the sound of mood music. And our tastes in aural pleasures run the gamut f rom Justin Bieber to Nine Inch Nails, f rom classical to heavy metal to hip-hop. Some readers are curiously speciﬁ c: “‘Sleigh Bells,’ instrumental, by the Boston Pops.” While others are far less particular: “Whatever covers the noise so my roommates don’t hear us.” Still others prefer

Steve Hadeka also also garnered garnereda avote. vote.Not Not any any of bands, mind mindyou. you. Just Steve. of Hadeka’s bands, Just Steve. Also on the thelocavore locavoretip, tip,Vermont Vermont Public Public Radio won aaf ew few votes. know votes. WeWe know Jane Jane Lindholm and Reuben Jackson have great radio voices, but wow. Or maybe people are getting up to “Morning Edition”? Some of you pref er a more dramatic approach totosexytime. sexytime. In In addition to general “porn “porn music,” music,” nods nodswent wenttotosuch such themes as the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Sweeney Todd and, our f avorite, Top Gun — though that last particular maverick also mentioned “Beat It” by Michael Jackson, perhaps suggesting a partner had lost that loving feeling. (Was it the Top Gun thing?) But overwhelmingly, Vermonters’ f avorite choice for slow jamz is, well, slow jams. Soul and R&B from Sam Cooke to Frank Ocean ruled the day. And the night. And the morning. And, aside from one confused soul who credited it to Barry White — seriously? — the No. 1 song to which sensitive Vermonters let their love come down is, of course, “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye.

When it comes to pubic hair, I prefer that my partner…

SEVEN DAYS

02.27.13-03.06.13

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

Is “my wife’s hand” really a toy? A huge swath of the 694 respondents to this question seemed to think so. Many wrote that their fave toys were “my hand,” “my man” or “a woman.” One young married gal wrote, “I only like the fl esh.” A single teacher in her forties, who reported being unsatisfi ed with her current sex life, opined, “That’s like asking a race-car driver what his f avorite Matchbox car is.” Still, plenty of you like to crank up the heat with vibrators, anal beads, cock rings, butt plugs, dildos, fl esh lights, fl oggers and handcu˛ s. Some respondents get even more creative. A gay bartender in his fi f ties toys with his infl atable Justin Bieber doll. (Where can we get our hands on one of those?) A libertarian teen loves her bullet vibrator but added, “I also like the handle of a razor in my vagina. The contours are heavenly.” Two women — a young hetero interior designer and a sixtysomething bisexual teacher — love fooling around with “a wooden spoon.” For the record, both said they’re satisfi ed with their current sex lives. Other respondents play with scarves, “a mini squeegee,” a fl oating sex swing, a breast vise, LEGOs, Nutella, olive oil, a riding crop and rope. A security guard in his twenties has a thing for “wrist and ankle straps.” We appreciated the specifi city of some toy recommendations, such as the Heartbreaker dildo on glassf antasy.com; the Doc Johnson Gal Pal and Pocket Rocket; the Aneros Helix Syn prostate massager; the bullet vibrator; the Cosmo Bunny vibrator; the Fleshlight Ice Crystal; the Golden Jack Rabbit; the Lelo Ina G-spot toy; and Mr. Bendy, “a relatively realistic-feeling, albeit too large, dildo in a SpareParts Joque Harness,” wrote a genderqueer twentysomething. Go ahead, google them — we’re talking to you, Mr. Thirtysomething Republican, who wrote wistf ully, “I haven’t had any sex-toy fantasies fulfi lled.” There’s still time!

30 FEATURE

9.2% has an untamed bush

49.9% keeps the lawn trimmed and tidy

12.6% is totally hairless

25.2% who cares? as long as I’m getting laid

3% other

It’s easier for me to get off… With a partner: 53% on my own: 47%

The most inappropriate place I’ve masturbated is…

skiers when I’m about to come,” she explained. Other self-love locales could only be described as brazen. “A pool in Disney World during the day.” “My boss’ wastebasket.” At the “50-yard line.” And “in a shelter on the Appalachian Trail filled with Marines.”

I ____ have sex on the first date. Should we be shocked that slightly more than 60 percent waffled at “sometimes,” or that 41 respondents swore by “always”? Just 35 percent of you stuck to some kind of moral code and vowed “never.”

If I come before my partner, I ____ make sure we keep going until he/she has come, too. Of the 674 people who answered this one, nearly 72 percent said “always,” and 27 percent admitted to a lackluster “sometimes.” Boo to the roughly 10 peeps who copped to a flat-out “never.”

I never thought I’d enjoy _____, but damn, do I ever!

IF YOU ARE A WOMAN:

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Butt revelations abound! Of the 553 responses to this question, more than half were all about ass. You guys are surprised8V-DeptOBGYN062911.indd to love anal sex in all its forms. And it seems you’ll put anything up there: fingers, tongues, dildos, vibrators, beads, dongs and veggies. BDSM was the other hot ticket — could it be the Fifty Shades of Grey effect? You like being tied up, choked, blindfolded, dominated, bitten, flogged, spanked and “handled roughly.” Many of you are just discovering the joys of giving oral sex. And a few even decided that monogamy isn’t so boring, after all. Here are other pleasures that surprised you: Beating the shit out of my boyfriend while we’re doing it Being “under arrest” Being peed on celibacy cold vegetables! Fantasizing so much about married men Filming myself Girls who don’t shower Having my toes pulled Hot water on my balls masturbating to gay porn men in makeup old broads Seeing a woman in my underwear

These aren’t your

SEVENDAYSVt.com

Sitting in rush-hour traffic. Behind your desk at work. In church. Soaring at 30,000 feet. Sometimes the mood strikes at inconvenient times, or when a partner isn’t around. What to do? For many readers, the answer is simple: Take matters into your own hands. Perhaps the most common “inappropriate” venue for self-loving is the workplace. Among those who said they diddled on the job were a childcare provider, a banker, a doctor, an attorney, a biologist, an architect, a wine merchant, an EMT, a farmer, a hair stylist, a nurse, a machine operator, a security officer and a cheese maker. Grandma and Grandpa’s house was another common hot spot. “On the couch under a blanket sitting next to granny,” wrote a middle-aged “hetero/flexible” male. “Grandparents’ living room floor,” answered a thirtysomething bisexual. One woman vividly remembered “spending the night in grandmother’s Jesus-themed sewing room.” Many ’fessed up to doing it in the holy house — perhaps aptly, in a confessional, wrote one gay male in his sixties. In the church bathroom, said several others. One bisexual male admitted to beating it in the choir loft. Hosanna, indeed. A teenage girl found nirvana at a Buddhist temple. And a hetero twentysomething female gave in to lust at church camp. Coming on the go was another common theme, with many saying they played around in planes, trains and automobiles. “I-90 in the driver’s seat outside Boston,” one woman recounted. One gay male in his seventies managed to keep one hand on the rod while going through a tollbooth. A gay flight attendant confessed he once had to duck into an airplane bathroom for relief, while a transgender thirtysomething remembered doing it “while seated in a mostly empty car on the Amtrak Vermonter train.” There’s something about that vibration. Some of you couldn’t wait until you were alone. “In a tent surrounded by teenagers. I used to lead backpacking trips,” answered a female in her twenties. “While sleeping over at my (superChristian) friend’s house — with her in the room!” wrote another female. One clever gal managed to pleasure herself during a dissection demonstration in a seventh-grade science class. Still another woman shredded her gnar at the top of a ski lift. “I make yawning faces at the

Are you thinking about starting or expanding your family?

2/22/13 4:38 PM

Sex Survey « P.31

If you’re in an exclusive exclusive relationship, relationship, how would you react to the discovery that your partner is cheating?

The quickest way to turn me off o˜ is…

It seems you become more more forgiving forgiving— —and andmaybe maybeaabit bit older. more adventurous — as you get older. Nearly 60 percent percent ofoftwentysomethings twentysomethingsand and5050 percent of thirtysomethings said they they would would break break off o˜ the therelationship relationshipimmediately. immediately.Many Manyelaborated elaborated with vitriolic details. “Fuck “Fuckher herfriends friendsand andtell tellher her about it,” wrote wrote aabisexual bisexualmusician. musician.“Cry “Cryand andcry cry and be ruined ruinedf orever,” forever,”lamented lamentedone onemarried married woman. “Why isn’t isn’t ‘kill ‘killthe themotherf motherfucker’ ucker’ anan option here?” fumed another. On the other otherend end of the of age the spectrum, age spectrum, fforgiveness orgiveness reigns supreme. supreme. Nearly Nearly50 50percent percent of of sixtysomethings said said they theywould wouldf orgive forgiveand and fforget. orget. And those thosewho who elaborated elaborated of ten often said said gent they’d be open open to toaathreesome. threesome.One Oneretired retired gent wrote that he would “join in the fun.” Another man in his golden years years said saidhe’d he’d“ask “askfor forexplicit explicitdetails details while having sex.” A married married educator educatordismissed dismissedthe the whole thing, writing, “It’s not important to me.” me.”

S EA

E TC

While you take issue with everything everything from from talking talking too much during sex sexto towearing wearingtighty tightywhities, whities,we we noticed an overarching theme to your turn-off turn-o˜ s. One fi ﬁftysomething f tysomething hetero hetero male maleeloquently eloquently dubbed it “The Stink.” Whether it’s “bad “badbreath breathallall up up in my in my fface” ace” or smelling smellingf unky funky “down “down yonder,” yonder,” poor hygiene is is the thebiggest biggestno-no no-no when when it it comes to getting down. “Please shower shower fiﬁrst,” rst,” requested one nurse nursepractitioner, practitioner,while while a a female baker gleefully called out her partner: “Farting, picking ofof the thenose, nose,body body odor odor ... ... Dear Hubs, are you listening?” Hairy armpits and andlegs, legs, badbad manscaping manscaping habits and the theaccidental accidental “poop “poop during during sex” sex” prove equally repulsive. repulsive. So Soremember remembertototidy tidy upup before hitting those bedsheets, OK? Another common mood moodkiller: killer: when when your your mattress mate rushes through through foreplay foreplayor ordoesn’t doesn’tpay pay enough attention to your needs. needs. So So not notcool. cool.It’s It’salso alsoaa your partner partnerisn’t isn’t“100 “100percent percentinto into sexual downer when your it.” Smokers and stress rank high on the list of of sexytime sexytime turn-o˜ ss— — as as do do little kids knocking on the door turn-off door when when you’re trying to get some action. Outside the bedroom, bedroom, people peoplewho whotalk talktoo toomuch much— — about their exes, in particular — put a damper on sexual chemistry. For one twentysomething male Democrat, the same goes f or talking “about why Mitt Romney would be a better president.” Duly noted, everyone?

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My biggest turn-on is… OK, we know you love a hard cock, sof t kisses on your neck and ears, and some tongue action. So do we. So does your mom. Some of the more romantic among you f avor being in love and enjoy giving even more than receiving. On the other end of the spectrum, many of you like it rough, mentioning choking, domination and rape fantasies. Who turns you on? For many hetero men, it’s a woman in yoga pants or black stockings. Straight women are into beards, broad shoulders and ﬂ annel. (And you’re in luck: That describes the majority of Vermont’s male population.) But some of you are rather more speciﬁ c. In the interest of science (or something), we present the top 10 quirkiest, most poetic or simply most perplexing answers to what turns you on. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

A woman in a garter belt and an adult diaper Nice Jewish boys with a wild side My wife doing dishes Eating my own cum Penetration after I’ve already orgasmed ... for a second orgasm 6. Graceful-looking wrists 7. Goggle tan 8. ˜ at sexy “V” made by the iliac crests and abdomen of a ﬁ t woman 9. ˜ e knock on the door 10. Vodka

What is your biggest insecurity when it comes to sex?

OTHER PLEASURES THAT SURPRISED YOU:

COLD VEGETABLES! At what point in a relationship do you tell your partner about a speciﬁ c fetish/kink you have? Only 876 people responded to this question. Since one of the multiple-choice responses was “I don’t really have any kinks,” we can only assume the rest of you don’t know the meaning of f etish/kink — or you haven’t formulated your approach on this one yet. But almost half of the respondents went with a sensible “af ter we’ve had sex a f ew times.” Twenty-three bold souls announce “exactly what I’m into” in their personal ads, while more than 100 will let it rip “only if my partner pries it out of me.” Would that be a tool fetish?

How do you most often communicate your desires to a partner? The art of conversation is not dead! Almost 65 percent of all respondents agreed that “talking in person” is still the most ef f ective way to get your points across. The 10 percent who rely on sexting or email — or, f or that matter, the 25 percent who think “body language” will suf f ice — may want to take a tip from the talkers.

It took a whole lot lot of of weeding weedingthrough throughhumble-braggarts humble-braggarts claiming to be beinsecure insecureabout about their their unspeakable unspeakable goodgood looks, or moaning moaningabout abouttheir their intimidatingly awesome intimidatingly awesome sex skills, to make it to the vulnerable heart of these 531 responses. But we made it. A heartwarming number of you said you’re most insecure about pleasing your partner. Simply performing is enough to make some of you tense up. A single, twentysomething woman wrote, “I’m af raid I’ll have to f ake it.” And no matter how long the relationship, rejection always stings. One married f ellow in his fi f ties wrote, “Getting turned down when I’m raring to go and having to sneak o˜ to engage in ‘self-congress.’” Many respondents have a f ear of f arting while doing the deed, or are squeamish about unexpected bodily functions and smells (see embarrassment, below). Many women reported f eeling awkward when “on top.” One twentysomething was insecure about “how sore my legs feel after riding my boyfriend … and how weird I feel when he stares at my ass while I do it.” One young married guy feels bad that he’s “occasionally quick on the draw.” And, sadly, one prof essional dude in his thirties conf essed to “the f ear that my wif e is just humoring me.” Bodies are defi nitely the biggest cause of emotional turmoil. You f ussed about the size of your breasts, your penis, your beer belly. A thirtysomething trans guy worried about “my lack of standard-issue genitalia.” One fellow with a “pretty unspectacular Johnson” wrote that he f ears, “as Randy Newman so eloquently put it, that she’ll ‘laugh at my mighty sword.’” A twentysomething farmhand admitted, “I am too dorky looking to feel sexy. Fortunately, the boyfriend is extremely farsighted.” A married woman in her thirties fretted “that I’ll look like an idiot. Or that my kids will walk in on me.” One twentysomething pansexual guy revealed a complex insecurity: “Doing something which I would later perceive as inappropriate, wrong or just awkward.” A single attorney in her forties was concerned that she could live without sex. But one fi f tysomething married man took the cake: “Raised Irish Catholic, so insecure about it all.”

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47.1 have cheated on a partner

39.6 31.9

had sex with someone whose name I didn’t know

has sex with more than one person at once

SEVENDAYSVt.com

had fantasies that wouldn’t be ethical to act on

31.8

29 made a vIdeo of themselves havIng sex watched had sex while someone else someone else have sex watched

explored BDSM

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15.5

have walked in on their parents having sex

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FEATURE 33

8.5 have paid for sex • 5.3 have been to a swingers party • 4.1 had sex with a relative 3.5 have uploaded and shared online a video of themselves have sex • 3.2 have been paid for sex 1.6 have had sex with an animal • 1.6 have seen a sex therapist Numbers above are percentages of the 1224 readers who responded to the 2013 sex survey. sEx sURvEy

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others cited unimpressive length or girth as their own private crosses to bear. For some guys, it’s perf ormance anxiety: One f ortysomething was ashamed of being “a two-pump chump,” while a younger dude worried, “I can’t do it right.” The unsavory sounds and smells of sex rattle some of you. “Queefi ng” — that unf ortunate vaginal exhalation — received a heap of votes. (“There might be unwanted noises that slip out,” explained one f emale college student.) Another twentysomething summed up olfactory mortifi cation: “I smell down there.” Even juicier is the territory of unorthodox desires and f ears. One married bisexual was embarrassed by “how badly I want my boss.” A married man in his fi fties admitted, “Although I would never act on it, watching animals fuck turns me on.” A straight male in his thirties and a twentysomething lesbian had one thing in common: a foot fetish. And both were embarrassed by it. Some of your responses were wrenching. One college student spoke for many in confessing, “Not sure if I’ve ever had an orgasm.” A thirtysomething woman who claimed to be polyamorous cited “rejection” as her biggest shame. Overall, though, plenty of respondents seem to be just fi ne with the way they are — and big props for that. One f ortysomething teacher summed up her lack of insecurities bluntly: “Nope. Don’t have that. Because if I fart in your face, it means I’m about to come really hard … YOU SHOULD BE PSYCHED.” We can imagine her words of wisdom to the trucker ashamed of his three-inch penis: Work the tongue, dude, and no one will care.

If you identify as straight or gay, have you ever had an outlier sexual experience?

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SEVENDAYSVT.COM

Name the Vermont celebrity you’d most like to bang.

SEAN METCALF

“Drunk girl time. Doesn’t everyone?” wrote a married teacher in her thirties. That sentiment seemed to guide many of the responses to this question. Of the 732 people who answered, 30.5 percent said yes. Some experimented in high school and college; others dipped toes into unfamiliar sexual territory with a threesome later on. An under-20 straight guy recalled a seaside revelation. “At a nude beach, f eeling great; erection happened,” he wrote. “Someone noticed and took care of it. Would do it again!” “Hooked up with a dude,” shared a straight male social worker. “Mutual blowies.” “I am deﬁ nitely penis oriented,” a thirtysomething female said. “But sometimes I want to ravish a woman.” “I was dating a bi guy, living with a gay guy and drinking with my hippie, bi gal pal,” wrote a straight artist in her twenties. “Add liquor and subtitled movie, bake at hot summer-night temperature and you’ve got a broken bedroom curtain rod and candlesticks to wash.” “I went through a phase where I was extremely attracted to women,” reveals a twentysomething straight woman. “I was angry at my ex and I felt like a cat in heat. They were all f un adventures and I don’t regret any of them.” “Slept with my best friend in high school. Repeatedly,” admitted another straight gal. “There was nobody else around that we particularly wanted to sleep with, and everybody else certainly didn’t want to sleep with us.”

This year’s sex survey was all about Nocturnal admissions: Grace Potter, of Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Have you ever gone to the hospital is the pants-down f avorite f or Vermont’s most bangbecause of a sex-related injury? worthy celeb. This year, Grace’s mom even got some votes. Go, Peggy! Nice job, f olks. Most of you manage to get o° without In f airness, Waitsfi eld’s leggy blond rocker was one landing in the ER — but a handful of sexual mishaps have of the f ew people on this year’s list who qualif y as a resulted in visits to the hospital. “celebrity” outside the Green Mountain State, along You needed a doctor’s assistance to fi sh out a torn with perennial f avorites Bernie Sanders, Patrick Leahy condom lodged deep inside your vagina. You masturbated (“Gotta respect seniority!” wrote one reader) and af ter chopping jalapeños. Your hair-pulling girlf riend Dos Equis ad man Jonathan Goldsmith, aka “the most threw your neck out of alignment. You got orgasm-induced interesting man in the world.” migraines, and somehow strained your Achilles tendon. Ignoring the second-most-common response to the As a teenager, bef ore going on to a career in law question — “Vermont has celebrities?” — this year’s enf orcement, one guy masturbated with a shampoo that results speak volumes about readers’ sexual f antasies. made his penis swell. And a trans thirtysomething said he Simply put, we lust after the hotties who pop up in our once sprained his wrist fi sting a woman. living rooms each morning and night to deliver us news, Some of your stories are scary. An overeager married sports and the weather. twentysomething su° ered a coaxial blood clot af ter What, if anything, are you Topping the 2013 list of babelicious broadcasters having sex three times in a row. One young woman’s sexual embarrassed/ashamed about was über-cutie WCAX reporter Gina Bullard. escapades ended with an asthma attack and an overnight sexually? Our readers gave new meaning to the popular news stay in the hospital. As exuberant as sex can be, it comes with a Mack truck full segment “Made in Vermont.” Channel 3’s perky Others are just embarrassing. A fif tysomething brunette just barely edged out Kerrin Jeromin, chief of hang-ups, at least judging f rom your responses. Limp woman had to see a doctor when she couldn’t remove meteorologist for Fox 44 and ABC 22. Evidently, when penises, small boobs, kinky tendencies — Vermonters her diaphragm, which “got super-suctioned up there.” Kerrin talks about a “high-pressure front bearing down certainly share universal f ears when it comes to gettin’ “You must see this all the time,” she recalled telling her on the nation’s midsection,” some Vermonters get all hot nekkid, with a few salty concerns thrown in. practitioner. “Nope,” the doctor replied. “Can’t say that I and sticky. We’re not surprised that body insecurities dominate, have!” Other broadcasters who enjoy high ratings in particularly among women. “My body in the light,” Still, most of you seem to have a good attitude about the doability department include Susie Steimle, the conf essed one. “Some call me Sasquatch,” said another. your erotic accidents. A thirtysomething married teacher A single thirtysomething is insecure, she said, because former WCAX political reporter who’s since moved to wrote about hers as if it were a badge of sexual honor: an NBC affiliate in Providence, R.I. Steimle finished in “Threw my back out having sex at the Capitol Plaza Hotel “My tits are def ormed.” Some moms are self -conscious a tie with WCAX morning anchor Molly Smith. about their post-pregnancy shape. But rest assured that in MontyP! YEEHAAW!” both genders have self -doubt. One married guy harbors But it wasn’t just the ladies knocking ’em dead from the secret of a past pencil injury to his penis, while many the small screen. WCAX evening anchor and repeat Daysies winner Darren Perron got lots of votes this year

A HANDFUL OF SEXUAL MISHAPS

HAVE RESULTED IN VISITS TO THE HOSPITAL.

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What’s your favorite sex scene in a movie?

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More than a century of cinema (and busy porn manufacturers) gave you almost unlimited potential answers. Yet, sad to say, no one slavered over the chemistry in It Happened One Night. We were struck by a few patterns in the data:

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Ingrained gender bias led us to suspect that males would gravitate toward porn, while females would cherish memories from movies with actual plots. A man and woman answering in tandem confirmed the stereotype: “For him, our own homemade porn. For her, scene in Atonement, up against the library wall.” (Atonement, by the way, was a popular highbrow answer among the ladies, as were other “up against the wall/sink/stairs” scenes of forbidden passion.) Our hunch was partially borne out by our unscientific analysis. Those who offered generic answers such as “anything with 69 (gay or straight)” or “first insertion of anal” tended to be, yup, guys. But men seemed almost as likely as women to fixate on a favorite scene in a film not generally regarded as smut: “In Shame, when Michael Fassbender is nailing a prostitute against a picture window in a high-rise hotel in NYC,” one dude wrote. Another won’t soon forget “Naomi Watts and Laura Harring getting to know each other better in David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive.” Women had vivid memories, too: “When Mila Kunis and JT first hook up in Friends With Benefits,” a twentysomething woman wrote. “They’re comfortable, hilarious, and say exactly what they want.” “It’s not about the sex scene for me; it’s the build-up chemistry,” wrote a pansexual female. And it was a thirtysomething bi female who lamented, “Porn has erased any movie sex scenes I may have retained.”

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We found significant overlap between your answers this year and last time we asked this question, in 2009, which suggests either that (a) Hollywood doesn’t make sexy flicks like it used to; or (b) Y’all gotta see more movies. Indeed, many of your choices were premillennial. Among the perennial favorites were Secretary, Sirens, 9 1/2 Weeks, Wild Things, Top Gun, Fatal Monster’s Attraction, Ball, Body Heat, The Big Easy, Last Tango in Paris, Bound, American Beauty and Unfaithful. We did notice one big upand-comer (pun intended): Men and women alike, especially straight twentysomethings, enjoyed the lesbian scene in Black Swan.

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Strings Attached

FEATURE 35

SEX SURVEY

SEVEN DAYS

Some of you didn’t take our question entirely seriously. Or did you? Anyway, 10 of you chose the explicit scene of marionette-on-marionette action in the 2004 comedy classic Team America: World Police. Is puppet sex a thing? Were you trying to be original? Or do you just find it hard to do anything but laugh at fake movie sex? “Showgirls hot-tub scene — mostly because it cracks me up,” a thirtysomething woman wrote. The greatest divide we identified wasn’t between men and women but between those who got off on screen action and those who didn’t see the point. “They’re all kind of the same. Feh,” as one respondent put it. “I think books are sexier,” one man proclaimed. Hey, that gives us an idea … though we sincerely hope you wouldn’t all choose Fifty Shades of Grey.

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If you’re in a happily sexed-up, longterm relationship, what’s your secret to keeping things hot? A lot of energy — and heartache — went into ﬁ nding someone you want to rub up against every night. Now that you’ve got it, how do you ensure the hard-won LTR doesn’t become TFP — totally fucking predictable? “Goooood question,” observed a partnered twentysomething who identif ied as “genderqueer.” Even great sex can get routine. Which is, of course, a compelling argument f or variety and spontaneity: “new positions, new locations, dif f erent rooms in the house,” risk taking, “kitchen sex,” toys, games, sexting, porn, weekends away and the occasional night in a local motel. But long-term lovers had more to say about f requency and scheduling of sexual encounters than about bondage or spanking. (Weed and wine barely made the list of secrets for sexual sustainability. There were just as many votes for “Always let her come first,” “Never wear pants to sleep” and “Wait until after I’ve had breakfast.”) Many recommend a daily regime: “We make it happen every day, once a day, like taking your daily vitamin,” reported one reliable dude. And that’s “Even if you’re tired.” “Even if you don’t feel like it.” “Even if you’re not in the mood.” “Even if you have other things on your mind.” Others want it “a lot,” “several times a week,” or at least once every seven days. An older gay man swore by “Anal sexy every Sunday night.” After “Downton Abbey,” we presume. What about “absence makes the heart grow f onder”? That works, too, whether it involves short, predictable breaks or long, dramatic ones. “When we ﬁ nally get to see each other after a month or so, we just go crazy!” reported the girlfriend of an active-duty soldier. The right balance of f amiliarity and f reshness is “variety f or me, consistency f or her,” said one f ellow who appeared to have solved the conundrum. “Yes, you can do both.” Among the committed, communication beat out chemistry as a predictor of hot-love longevity. If there’s consensus on anything — among genders, political parties, sexual orientations, etc. — it’s the importance of “open dialogue,” “staying connected emotionally,” “keeping it real and honest all the time,” and “telling your partner what you want to try out.”

SEAN METCALF

— from men and women women alike. alike.Is IsititDarren’s Darren’sFrench-cuff French-cu˜ dress shirts or his to-die-for to-die-for eyelashes eyelashes that that are are melting melting viewers’ hearts? Vermonters have a measurable lust f or power. Topping this year’s list of poundable pols was Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger, followed by Sens. Sanders and Leahy, Gov. Peter Shumlin, Sen. Tim Ashe and f ormer lieutenant governor candidate Cass Gekas. As f or other dudes and debs who routinely make this list: Rusty DeWees, aka the Logger, had his usual strong showing, as did singer-songwriters Neko Case and Anaïs Mitchell. “Miss Vermont” also polled strong, despite no other identifying info. By f ar the creepiest answer to this question came f rom a sixtysomething gay man who wrote, “Brigham Young, Joseph Smith and Ted Bundy.” The Mormons are understandable — hey, they have magic underwear! — but a serial killer?

WE LUST AFTER THE HOTTIES WHO POP UP IN OUR LIVING ROOMS EACH MORNING AND NIGHT.

together and undoing all the buttons on her business blouse.” A twentysomething artist set a titillating scene: “Ancient Roman market street. I’m on a table f or anyone that wants me. I let them do anything they want while people just walk by like it’s nothing.” A f ortysomething man also f antasized with historical fl air. “Dressing like a Viking, decapitating my ex’s live-in lover and dragging her back to the longship,” he wrote. “And snuggling.” “Being the only man in the whole kingdom who is able to please my 6'5'' Amazon queen,” shared a guy in his twenties. “A threesome in the middle of the old-growth redwood f orest,” wrote a twentysomething bisexual woman. “Two thousand years’ worth of needles make the most f antastic mattress.” A twentysomething bisexual student dreamt of “Darren Describe your favorite sexual fantasy Criss + Freddie Mercury + me singing together at fi rst and Threesomes. Cheating. Beards. Vin Diesel. Middlethen doing it with each other.” school teachers. Red hair. Thick thighs. Sexy strangers. And another woman in her twenties o˜ ered this Cloned boyfriends. Lab coats. Twins. Your cumulative straight-f rom-Hollywood scene: “Beach house … it’s fantasies read like a swashbuckling, sci-fi erotic thriller raining out, with the doors open … [I’m] being pushed crossed with a Nicholas Sparks-inspired costume against a wall overlooking the ocean while making drama. passionate love.” A f ortysomething who identifi ed as both male and “I try not to set myself up for unrealistic expectations. f emale intrigued us with this f antasy in list f orm: “1. I like to see what the moment brings,” wrote a Too many voices in the room. 2. Two hot men. 3. Beach. f ortysomething woman. “That said, being naked with 4. Rescue. 5. Pirate kidnapping.” John Mayer would be nice.” A lesbian in her twenties got sensual. “A pretty, naked A married artist in his twenties was more blunt. “Mad lady feeds me chocolate cheesecake in bed, and then eats butts for my dong to be donging,” he suggested. me out,” she wrote. “She cannot have had any chocolate For some, the personal is political, asf or a cheesecake beforehand, though.” twentysomething pansexual male: “Having sex in public A married guy in his thirties f antasized about to protest mountaintop wind.” “meeting up with a long-lost could-have-beenBut one married man in his f orties had f ar simpler girlf riend at a business conf erence, getting drunk desires: “Chinese food, blow job, nap.” One twentysomething summed it up nicely with his recipe for “sexess”: “Communication, having a good sense of humor, separate bathrooms. In general, trying hard to be a real human being and not some fucking creep.” Along those lines, there were a f ew predictable pitches f or polyamory, threesomes, open relationships and cheating. One woman recommended “being so emotionally detached f rom my husband that he has an emotional fl ing with a coworker. Once it’s over, wow, hello sex!” That doesn’t sound very sustainable. Ditto “There’s always something heavier to be beaten with.” Maybe the key to keeping it up f or the long haul is simply not looking back. “Other than being married for 22 years,” said a man born before sex surveys were invented, “I’ve never had a long-term relationship.”

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38 FEATURE

See more photos of Alexa Luthor online at sevendaysvt.com.

ny virgins in in the theaudience audiencetonight?” tonight?”UpUp went went was relieved relieved to to see see my hand. Glancing around, I was that I wasn’t alone: A smattering of giggling patrons at O˜ Off Center Center for forthe theDramatic DramaticArts Artswere were ’fessing up, too. No, we weren’t weren’ta bunch a bunch of stunted, of stunted, sex-starved sex-starved to take theatergoers. But we wewere werefi rst-timers first-timersabout about to take in the second-ever second-everperf performance ormance of of thethe Green Green Mountain Cabaret, Burlington’s Burlington’snew newneoneoburlesque show. That’s what the MCs for for the night — — “Leif “LeifPeepers” Peepers”and and“Thom “Thom “virgins.” Peepers” — meant by “virgins.” I’ll admit it: it:IIwas wasnervous nervous about about what would follow. follow. Leif Leif and and Thom Thomgave gave us the quick quickdown-and-dirty: down-and-dirty:Yes, Yes,we’d we’d amount of of skin skintonight. tonight.No, No,we we be seeing a fair amount takeany anyphotographs. photographs.We We weren’t allowed to take dutifully our hooting hootingand andhollering, hollering, dutif ully practiced our as the themusic musiccame cameup, up,out outmarched marched and then, as fivevewomen women with hell-bent on on fi with f eather featherboas, boas, hell-bent shimmying, shaking and andstripping stripping their their wayway down to — as as we wewould wouldsoon soonfifind ndout out——thongs thongs and sparkling pasties. center was wasAlexa AlexaLuthor, Luthor,the the Front and center mastermind behind the cabaret. themonthly monthly cabaret. your typical typicalpinup pinupgirl. girl.Her Her breasts She’s not your breasts are small, her her hips hipssof soft andcurvy. curvy.Overall, Overall, t and thethe bodies of thewomen womenon onthe the Center stage of the OÕff Center stage more closely approximated what what you’d you’d see see in inaa local gym gymthan thanonstage onstageat at changing room at your local a strip joint — with the the added added touches touchesof ofthighthighhigh stockings and sexier underwear. underwear. Heavy makeup accentuated accentuatedLuthor’s Luthor’seyes, eyes, which gazed at the audience from from under under aa fringe fringe of dark bangs as she draped herself around one of the folding chairs on the stage. Of course, “Alexa Luthor” is not not her herreal realname: name: The pseudonym is is aaplay playononSuperman’s Superman’s nemesis, nemesis, Lex Luthor. Onstage Onstageand and in character, Luthor in character, Luthor embraces the alter alterego egoof of “original Burlesque thethe “original Burlesque supervillain,” as her website boasts, “plotting “plotting to to take take over the world one stocking at a time.” time.” Per Luthor’s vision, I was was in infor foraanight nightofofstockings, stockings, gloves and sparkly bras — all all soon soonto tobe bediscarded discardedon onthe the fl Burlington’s annual annual floor oorof of the the black-box theater’s stage. Burlington’s Spielpalast Cabaret has been beenbringing bringingelements elementsof ofburlesque burlesque to the region for for 13 13years. years.But Butthe theGreen GreenMountain MountainCabaret, Cabaret, though styled after after aavaudeville vaudevillevariety varietyshow, show,doesn’t doesn’tgogo forfor the 1930s, Weimar WeimarRepublic Republicrevelry revelry Spielpalast embraces: Spielpalast embraces: Instead, the show is unscripted, unscripted, the the acts actsmodern, modern,and andthe themain main draw is unquestionably the the striptease. striptease.Over Overthe thecourse courseofofthe the night, Luthor and and her her“sugar “sugarshakers” shakers”shimmied shimmied down down to to pasties and thongs while the audience cheered its approval. Meanwhile, this “virgin” watched with interest — but but with with mixed feelings about the display onstage.

that her identity be kept secret. The Essex Junction apartment she shares with her husband, “Leif Peepers,” and black-and-white cat, Poe, looks more like a college crash pad than a boudoir at the Moulin Rouge. “I never would have imagined 10 years ago that I would be removing clothing onstage and loving it,” Luthor told me a f ew weeks after the January performance. She grew up up in inthe theEssex Essexarea, area,attended attended Michael’s St.St. Michael’s College and moved moved to toChicago Chicagoaf after graduation. She’d ter graduation. She’d studied ballet and jazz for for years, years,and andminored minoredin intheater theater as an undergrad, but Luthor wasn’t always keen on the spotlight. “She was a theater kid, but she was — not shy, but she hadn’t come comeinto intoherself herselfyet,” yet,” said “Fler Lacelle,” said “Fler Lacelle,” who has known Luthor since high high school school and andisisnow nowstage stage manager for the cabaret. “Kind of like a baby horse.” So Luthor was as surprised as anyone when, af ter taking in her fi rst burlesque performance at a bachelorette party in Denver, she f ound herself inexplicably hooked. As soon as she returned to Chicago, she signed up f or classes at a prominent burlesque studio. (Her fi rst class was with a woman she now describes as one of the “best tassel twirlers” in the country.) Luthor’s studies culminated in an invitation-only performance class, for which she choreographed her fi rst striptease and then perf ormed it f or an audience. Her legs shook, and she was so nervous that she couldn’t smile, she recalled. But But she shedid didsomething somethingright: right:Members Membersofofaanew new Chicago burlesque company called Kiss Kiss Kiss KissCabaret Cabaretwere wereininthe the audience that night night and andtapped tappedLuthor Luthor to join their group. “You “You could could tell tell she shejust justreally reallylit lit up the stage as as soon soonas asshe shebegan began her performance,” saidChris ChrisO.O. perf ormance,” said Biddle, Kiss Kiss’ host, host,producer producer and artistic director. It was Kiss KissKiss KissCabaret’s Cabaret’s style — which borrowed ffrom rom the vaudeville tradition, interspersing burlesque with variety-show acts ——that that inspired Luthor and and her her husband, when they returned returned to Vermont last lastJune, June, to to start their own owncompany. company. The couple cobbled cobbledtogether together $800 and staged stagedauditions auditions in in November. November. Most Most of of their their dancers dancers were complete novices, novices, but butf our four weeks later the the Green GreenMountain Mountain Cabaret debuted at the the Off O˜ Center. Center. “As a woman, to just get get to todo do a show where whereladies ladiesjust, just, like,like, shake it and and are arereally reallyconfi confident dent about their bodies bodiesand andlook looklike like Run into Luthor off really o˜ stage, and and you youmight mightnever neverguess guessshe’s she’saaburbur- they’re having f fun un ——it’sit’s really lesque buff by night. night. The The “Kryptonite to clothing” performer performer exciting,” bu˜ by exciting,” Lacelle Lacelle said. said. is a chipper 26-year-old employee Burlesque fi gained employee at a local college, who, who, like like first rst gained a a all of the burlesque burlesqueperformers performerswith withwhom whomI Ispoke, spoke,asked asked ffoothold theUnited United States oothold in the States PHOTOS: MATTHEW THORSEN

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creepy. “He’s a high school boy,” he said. He may talk a big game, but as soon as one of the “girls” saunters by, he melts. The juvenile act is self-deprecating; Peepers said he knows the audience isn’t there to see him. But the MCs’ overbearing appreciation of of the thedancers’ dancers’physical physicalassets assets came perilously close closetotoundermining undermining artistry thethe artistry to to which burlesque dancers aspire: aspire: seduction, seduction,sexiness sexiness and smarts. Qualms aside, IIadmired admiredthethe gutsiness it took gutsiness it took f or for the women to to step steponstage onstageand anddodo something that something that stillstill feels Andlater, later,they theyspoke spoke their experiences f eels taboo. And of of their experiences glowingly, praising asaasupportive supportiveteacher teacher and praising Luthor as and skilled performer. “She teaches everyone everyonehow howtotosavor savor sexuality,” sexuality,” said “Vienna Velvette,” Velvette,”aa34-year-old 34-year-oldclassically classically singer trained opera singer whowho is nowis now apprenticing as a “stage kitten” with the teaches all allofofusustotoletlet cabaret. “She teaches it it savor the themoment, moment,liflift the linger — savor t upupthe skirt a little bit … The The way waythat thatshe’ll she’lltrace trace fingers her ﬁ ngersup up her her thigh thigh or across her chest or collar bones — it’s those subtle things.” Still, subtlety can canfeel feelin inshort shortsupply supplyatata show a show MCskeep keepupupa constant a constant refrain where the MCs ref rain of of “Yeah, boobs!” “Yeah, boobs!” We We knew knew exactly exactly what what was was coming coming at the end of of each each dance dancenumber number— —thanks thanksin inno nosmall small part to the the Peepers Peepersbrothers, brothers,who whounapologetically unapologetically assumed at the outset outset that that we wewere werethere therenot notfor forthe the

I NEVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED 10 YEARS AGO THAT I WOULD BE

REMOVING CLOTHING ONSTAGE

show’s fi nale — her only solo perf ormance of the night — her self -assurance set her apart f rom those who had come bef ore. Her gaze was piercing and rebellious. The angry blare of Flogging Molly’s “Saints and Sinners” came over the sound system. Luthor had designed and sewn her costume herself: Her right side was clothed entirely in black, her left in white, a blunt line running down her middle from head to toe. “We’re saints and we’re sinners,” growled the Celtic punk band as Luthor unbuttoned her shirt and fl ashed a shoulder at the audience. Before long, she’d wiggled — seemingly e˛ ortlessly — out of her shirt, pants and long gloves, discarding them gently around the stage. (Kicking off shoes,isisa aburlesque burlesque o˛ clothes, clothes, and especially shoes, taboo as ffar asLuthor Luthorisisconcerned: concerned:“It’s “It’s ar as notnot sexy,” anda afl ying flyinghigh high heel sexy,” she she said, and heel could infl inflict ictinjury.) injury.)Soon Soonshe shewas wasdown down to a black-and-white black-and-white bra bra and andthong thong—— then to tasseled pasties, pasties, one one black blackand and one white. As she kicked kickedupup elegantly oneone elegantly extended ffoot, pivoted around oot, ororpivoted around the chair planted planted in the center centerofofthe the stage, Luthor’s dance dancetraining trainingshowed. showed. So did her her years yearsofofburlesque burlesquepractice practice in in Chicago. There weren’t weren’t any anyshaking shakinghands hands or wardrobe malf malfunctions here. And Andwhen when unctions here. she broke out her signature move — there’s no way to to describe describeititbut buta righteous a righteous assass shake — her audience went went wild. wild. This Thiswas was a glimpse ofofburlesque burlesqueasasit should it should be: be: sexy, dangerous anddefi defiant. ant.Then, Then, dangerous and like the fl flash ashof ofskin, skin,itit was gone.

AND LOVING IT. AL E X A L UTH O R

SEVENDAYSVT.COM SEVENDAYSVT.COM SEVEN DAYS FEATURE 39

tease, but for the skin. Seduction, at its core, is is an anact actofof supreme confi confi dence; dence; it’s an exercise of power that has as much to to do dowith with conviction as ititdoes does withwith physical attractiveness. Perhaps Perhaps inevitably, a cabaret cabaret made madeup upprimarily primarily of burlesque dancers dancerslacks lackssome someof of of novice burlesque that confi confidence denceand, and,as asaaresult, result,the theseductiveness seductiveness that gave rise to toburlesque burlesqueininthe thefi fi rstplace. place.Time Time rst and practice might solve that issue. More More problematic problematic for for the cabaret as a whole, whole, though, though,isisthe theMCs’ MCs’tiresome tiresomeand and demeaning shtick. Onstage, Luthor hersel herself is lacking in neither f is lacking in neither confi she stepped steppedup upf or forthe the confidence dencenor nor seduction. seduction. When she

02.27.13-03.06.13

150 years ago. By the early 20th century, the genre was a broadly popular, lowbrow blend of satire, comedy, musichall perf ormance and striptease. Scantily costumed women were a major draw, yes, but these shows were varied and lively, lively, as aswitty wittyas asthey theywere weresexually sexuallysuggestive. suggestive. The social crackdown crackdown of ofthe the1930s 1930sand and’40s ’40ssignaled signaled for burlesque. burlesque. the beginning of the end for “It metamorphosed into strip clubs Kiss and the sex sexindustry,” industry,”said said Kiss Kiss Cabaret’s Biddle, “and itit was was easy for f or people peopletototake take a moral a moral stance against it.” ormers were By the 1990s, perf performers were looking to burlesque burlesqueas as an an art fform orm once onceagain. again. It’s It’s popular enough today todaythat that nd one can fi fi ndburlesque burlesque per f ormances in every performances every major U.S. city. Burlesque Burlesque U.S. city. even spawned aa 2010 2010fifilm lm starring Christina Aguilera and Cher, though burlesque burlesque perf ormers such asasBiddle performers Biddle and Luthor argue argue the themovie movieisn’t isn’t an accurate representation representationof the of the burlesque movement. that that The biggest misconception misconception lingers, Luthor says, says, isisthat thatburlesque burlesqueis is the equivalent of stripping. artistically remove “I mean, yes, yes,wewe artistically remove articles of clothing, but we’re not walking the down street, or getting getting dollar dollarbills billsshoved shoved down our underwear,” underwear,” she she said. “It’s an art form. It’s meant to titillate, but it’s not meant to make men dive dive onstage. onstage.It’s It’snot notsleazy; sleazy; it’s classy.” classy.” Stripping, the per performers f ormers withwith whom I spoke suggested, suggested, is is objectifying, objectifying, transforming body into intoaacommodity. commodity. transf orming the body Burlesque, on the other hand, “puts a lot more power into the hands of of the the performer,” performer,” said “Doctor “Doctor Vu,” Vu,” aa 33-year33-yearold project manager by by day daywho whojoined joinedGreen GreenMountain Mountain Cabaret in November. November. Because Becauseburlesque burlesquedancers dancersneed need not necessarily look like like Playboy Playmates, Vu said, she believes they’re banishing banishingstereotypes stereotypesof of conventional conventional sexuality. “It reallyexpands expands nition of what “It really thethe defi defi nition of what constitutes a sexually desirable body or person.” That was evident at the cabaret’s January performance: As an audience member, member,IIsensed sensedthat thatIIwasn’t wasn’tcheering cheeringan an individual’s physical assets, assets,or oreven evenher herskill skillasasa performer, a performer, so much as the confi confidence denceititrequired requiredto tostand standup up onstage onstage and remove her clothes. clothes. While Whileone oneaim aimofofthe theshow showwas was certainly to entertain, entertain,the thef emale female desires perperformers’ f ormers’ desires drove the exhibition much more than the audience’s. audience’s. Though Luthor and her compatriots call their burlesque experience “empowering,” I had more more trouble trouble than I’d anticipated reconciling feminism feminism and andburlesque. burlesque. This reaction stemmed stemmedin in partpart f romfrom some osome f the of the performers’ obvious nerves: One woman’s hand trembled almost uncontrollably as, with with her herback backtotothe theaudience, audience, she fumbled with the clasp of her bra. It’s not for me to say what is or is not empowering for another individual. But But ititwasn’t wasn’tjust justthe thejitters jittersthat that lefleft t me squirming. Only Onlywomen womenstripped stripped down to pasties down to pasties and thongs at at the theperf performance. Themen menwho whoalso also took ormance. The took the stage — —the theMCs, MCs,comedians, comedians, improv actors improv actors andand a a breakdancer — were fully fully clothed, clothed,and andthey theyjoked jokedabout about the thrill of the “boobs” on display that evening. Peepers admitted his own persona as Leif is somewhat

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Sexy Sermons

Never mind hippies — a 19th-century Vermonter preached “free love” B Y K E N P ICAR D

ome Vermonters of a certain age — i.e., those who remember the ’60s as more than grainy images of the Vietnam War set to Bu˜ alo Springﬁ eld’s “For What It’s Worth” — recall when Vermont meant “f ree love.” Back then, young people were drawn to the Green Mountain State by the temptations of communal living and its concomitant promise of open loving — part of the sexual revolution that blossomed in the 1960s, along with the advent of f eminism and the birth-control pill. That trend would go mainstream in the ’70s, bef ore the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s stomped on everyone’s libido. But “f ree love” itself is much older. While Vermont can rightf ully claim ownership of the hippie phrase, its origins date back more than a century before the Summer of Love. Credit for coining it belongs to Brattleboro native and longtime Putney resident John Humphrey Noyes (1811-1886). Noyes was a religious ref ormer and socialist who became f amous f or f ounding the Oneida Community of western New York, York, considered considered one of the most successful

in the utopian communities ever everestablished established in United the United States. At its peak, the Oneida Perfectionists, as they called themselves, had as many as 300 members, with branch communities in Cambridge and Putney, Vt., as well as in Brooklyn, N.Y.; Wallingford, Conn.; and Newark, N.J. But “Hump Free” Noyes didn’t stick around Vermont for very long, largely because he had a knack for landing in hot water with the natives when he espoused views on marriage, sin and sex. Not only were those views considered radical by the sexually repressed Victorians of Noyes’ era, but they would shock many open-minded folks today. Chief among them was Noyes’ belief that people can get right with God by getting busy with numerous sexual partners. Noyes was born in Brattleboro on September 3, 1811, the son of a U.S. congressman and a devoutly religious mother. According to a history of the Oneida Community by Randall Hillebrand, published on New York History Net, young Noyes initially had no interest in religion or faith. But, after attending a four-day four-day religious religious revival in Putney, he contracted contracted aafever fever God in him. that planted the thef ear fearof of God in him. theology at at Noyes went on ontotostudy study theology Yale Divinity School and made made plans plansto to become an ordained minister. However, Noyes Noyes the the divinity student However, his his evidently had trouble troublewrapping wrapping fthe undamental noggin around the fundamental Christian notion of original sin. Instead, thatthat manman couldcould he came totobelieve believe achieve salvation by byreaching reaching perfperfection ection a state ofofsinless sinless at the time timeofofhis hisconversion. conversion. dubbed This credo, later later dubbed Perf ectionism, asserted that Perfectionism, that it was possible possiblef or forhumans humans to be devoid devoid ofofsin sinasaslong long as they surrendered their will will to toGod Godwith with“a “a perfect heart.” Furthermore, Noyes conveniently claimed that his relationship to tothe theAlmighty Almighty“canceled “canceled out his obligation obligationtotoobey obeytraditional traditional moral moral standards or the thenormal normal laws of society.” laws of society.” Putting his money money(and (andtuition) tuition) where where his his mouth was, on onFebruary February 20, 1834, 20, 1834, NoyesNoyes declared himself “perfect and and utterly utterly free freeof ofsin” sin” — a boast that, that, understandably, understandably,served servedas asgrounds grounds for Yale to boot boot him himout outofofdivinity divinityschool schooland andyank yank his newly acquired ministerial license. Following his expulsion expulsionf rom fromYale, Yale,Noyes Noyes returned returned to Putney and and ffounded thePutney PutneyBible BibleSchool Schoolinin 1836. ounded the 1836. There he developed a devoted following who bought bought into into his groundbreaking notions of gender equality and sexual sexual promiscuity. These notions didn’t exactly endear him to most of of his his fellow Vermonters. In 1847, Noyes, who had had been beenlegally legally married to Harriet Harriet Holton Holtonsince since1838, 1838,was was indicted indicted f orfor adultery. When he learned learned that thatarrest arrestwarrants warrantshad hadalso also been posted for some of his followers, the entire gang ﬂ fled ed the Green Mountains for a 23-acre tract of land in Oneida, Oneida, N.Y., N.Y.,where wherethey theyset setup upaaproto-hippie proto-hippiecommune. commune. As Rebecca Furtado Furtado outlines outlinesininanan article Yahoo article on on Yahoo Voices called “The “The Oneida OneidaCommunity: Community:Free Free Love Love andand

Women in Trousers Before Woodstock,” Noyes preached that he and other male members of the community were free to have sex with various female members, as long as the women were down with it. Noyes and his disciples frowned on the idea of people coupling up to form deep emotional attachments; indeed, this was grounds for eviction from the community. Instead, Noyes preached the idea of “complex marriage,” which held that every man in the community was considered married to every adult woman — and thus f ree to enjoy all the connubial benefi ts such complex relationships entailed. Another Noyes innovation was something called “ascending fellowship,” or the practice of older members of the community — of both sexes — mentoring younger virgins on the group’s sex, breeding and birth-control principles. According to Furtado, young, inexperienced men were encouraged to get their sexual schooling from older women — that is, until they mastered another Oneida innovation: “male continence.” Male continence, an e˜ ective f orm of birth control — by 19th-century standards, at least — was the practice of not ejaculating during or af ter intercourse. (Masturbation was also a no-no.) Since this method was bound to fail from time to time — then, as now, teenage boys tended to be quick on the draw — less experienced males honed their Kegel skills with postmenopausal women who couldn’t get pregnant. In return, older women of the community were ensured a steady supply of strapping lads with whom they could maintain a vigorous sex life. Not all of Noyes’ revolutionary ideas related directly to sex. He also preached that adult women over the age of 14 were equal to men and should not be relegated solely to domestic drudgery such as cooking, cleaning, laundry and child rearing. Among the Oneida Perf ectionists, babies were raised in communal nurseries, f reeing many of the women f rom such duties. Women were not only allowed but required — sometimes by force — to eschew fl ashy dresses in favor of pants, which enabled them to do “male” work. Though such belief s were groundbreaking f or his time, Noyes’ preaching also presaged a creepier ideology that would rear its head in Vermont several decades later: eugenics. As Furtado explains, anyone who wished to procreate fi rst had to go bef ore a committee and request permission. The committee would then ruminate on whether the couple was likely to produce “moral” children. Noyes himself took advantage of his position in the community to father nine kids, making him seem more like a cult leader than a mere religious reformer. Like many experimental communities, the Oneida Perf ectionists didn’t survive long af ter the death of their charismatic leader, on April 13, 1886. The last of the community members went their separate ways two years later. Some married, got jobs and settled into more conventional lif estyles — not unlike Vermont’s f ree-love hippies, who would unwittingly follow in their footsteps a century later.

“HUMP FREE” NOYES HAD A KNACK FOR LANDING IN HOT WATER WITH THE NATIVES

02.27.13-03.06.13 SEVEN DAYS FEATURE 41

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FOR HIS VIEWS ON MARRIAGE, SIN AND SEX.

food

Cooking With Heat Vermont chefs share recipes to get you in the mood, from raw fl ﬂesh eshto todessert dessert

42 FOOD

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hat gets you youhot hotin in thethe kitchen? Neurologist o of the the Alan Hirsch f Chicago-based Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Research Foundation decided totoﬁ nd find out. His 1995 study revealed that penile blood bloodﬂ ow flow could be increased increasedby by the smell ofoff oodstu˛ foodstuff ss ranging ffrom mixrom a amixture of of black blacklicorice licorice and cola to toplain plainoldold cheese pizza. Women Women were more likely likely to tobe be turned on by cucumbers and Good & Plenty candy. candy. Cherries, by contrast, were were a distinct turno˛ turnofff or forthe the fairer sex. Scientists like Hirsch Hirsch may have the thepatience patience to pinpoint aphrodisiac aphrodisiac eff e˛ ects ectsby by combining subsubstances such as as pumpkin pumpkin pie and lavender, or baby baby powder and chocolate, chocolate, but most of of us us just justwant wantaa food f ood experience that that will will get our blood pumping. What better source than chef s, who are in the business of getting diners excited about f ood — and, perhaps, in the mood f or post-dining activities? So we asked f our Vermont chef s to share a recipe guaranteed to send couples f rom the kitchen to the bedroom in short order. From slippery to spicy to luxurious, these dishes might just hit all your culinary erogenous zones. And you can make them at home, so, if you pref er to partake of the af ter-dinner delights right on the kitchen counter, we won’t judge.

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Tableside Steak Tartare Tartare

Yield: Two Two ample servings servings of lusty proportions

I TM

Connie Warden, The INN, Montgomery Center

Candy-Encrusted Ginger Snickerdoodle Vanilla Bean Ice Cream Sandwiches. “My sense of the erotic is slightly Chef Connie Warden has always had a skewed these days,” jokes the chef, who taste f or the adventurous. Af ter selling cooked at Burlington gay club 135 Pearl Chow! Bella in St. Albans last year, she in the 1980s. But we think Warden’s pulled up stakes and headed to Anne steak tartare, prepared à deux, is just Amie Vineyards in Portland, Ore., f or the thing to stir your rawest passions. the harvest season. Now, at her hip new Warden emphasizes that top-quality workplace, the INN in Montgomery beef and a sharp knife are musts. “This Center, Warden is introducing Vermont’s participatory process is best done side rugged northwest to Vietnamese noodle by side,” she says. Just try not to shed bowls, tempura beets and Red Hot Rock any clothes till you’re done with those knives. LISTEN IN ON LOCAL FOODIES...

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1 egg yolk or 2 quail egg yolks 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard 2 anchovy fi filets, lets,fifinely nely chopped (don’t even think about skipping them) 2 teaspoons soy sauce 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce Tabasco sauce, to taste Coarsely ground black pepper, to taste 3 tablespoons light olive oil 1 tablespoon Cognac 1 tablespoon shallots, finely freshly and fi nelychopped chopped 1 tablespoon capers, rinsed 2 cornichons, fi finely nely chopped 4 sprigs fl flat atparsley, parsley, fi nely chopped 12 ounces welltrimmed, fresh sirloin, fi nely chopped 4 slices fi ne-quality dark pumpernickel bread, toasted and quartered, for toast points Separate the egg yolks into a large, stainless-steel bowl and add the mustard and anchovies. Mix well, then add the soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce and pepper. Mix well again. Slowly whisk in the oil, then add the Cognac and mix again. Fold in the shallots, capers, cornichons and parsley. Keep all well chilled. COOKING WITH HEAT

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sIDEdishes by cOri n hi rsch & a l i ce l e v i t t

Flouring Trend

twO belOveD burlingtOn bakeries jOin FOrces

The whispers coursed through Burlington for years — MyEr’s BagEl BakEry owner lloyD squIrEs was relocating to Nova Scotia and looking to sell. Now, the rumor has proved half right. After considering offers from several teams, Squires says, he has sold the business to ColIn BloCh and aDaM JonEs. But he’s staying put at Myer’s, where he will share the oven with ChrIs and EMIly Conn of the BakEry at thE farMhousE

BurlIngton farMErs MarkEt

regulars may know Conn as the original chef behind roCkvIllE MarkEt farM’s smoked, farm-fresh tacos. He’ll put his skills at the smoker to a very different use at Myer’s: preparing Montréal-style smoked meat. Conn says he’s been experimenting with the brisket that

Langdon Street Coda

POPular MOntPelier Music sPOt tO reOPen as sweet Melissa’s

Guitar riffs will soon fill Montpelier’s 4 Langdon Street again when a new venue, swEEt MElIssa’s, opens there later this spring. toM Moog, co-owner of Moog’s PlaCE in Morrisville, has been in quiet, months-long negotiations with landlord JEssE JaCoBs to resurrect the space occupied by the late langDon strEEt Café as a restaurant and bar with nightly live music. “I’ve been following the Langdon Street Café history, and I know it was a wonderful spot and that people miss it,” Moog says. Moog and his partners — Jason MErrIhEw and his wife, MElIssa MErrIhEw, and Moog’s girlfriend, katIE Bora — are still working out a menu for the lunch and dinner spot. But Moog says they’ll probably import some of the “best apps” from Morrisville, such as dry-rubbed barbecue wings. Likely entrées involve “lots of fresh fish and fresh greens,” says Moog. “All of the food will be homemade, really fresh and delicious,” First, though, a substantial renovation looms. Moog is currently transforming the building’s second and third floors into living quarters; downstairs, he’ll shift the interior around, creating separate bar and dining spaces, building a stage, and adding an open kitchen and second bathroom. (“I know there used to be long waits,” Moog notes.) Before they repair the ceiling, though, the owners will hire a local photographer to capture the collage of posters currently plastered there. Behind the bar, patrons can also expect a clone of the Moog’s Place experience, with 70 beers on tap and a long, varied cocktail menu. “Ordering here is always a little bit of an adventure,” says Moog. Rather than a rowdy venue, Moog stresses that Sweet Melissa’s will be as kid friendly as his Morrisville eatery. After all, he and Bora have their hands full with their own toddler. “Family is everything,” Moog says.

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Good Food.

— c .H . Almond buttercrunch cake

Whole Foods. Besides her luscious almond buttercrunch cakes, she’ll supply Myer’s with rustic, seasonal specialty desserts. A sweet end for all involved. — A. L .

Crumb

leFtOver FOOD news

Four years after founder stEvE Bogart left a sInglE PEBBlE for a consulting career, the Burlington Chinese restaurant is still gathering plaudits. The latest

recognition comes from Travel + Leisure magazine. Writer Kate Parham credits Taiwan-native owner ChIuho Duval with the farmto-table, family-style dishes that put the restaurant on the magazine’s list of the 25 best Chinese restaurants in the U.S. She specifically praises the mock eel, dry-fried string beans and tangerine-peel chicken. A Single Pebble is the only Vermont restaurant on the list, and one of only three in New England.

this sprinG… enjoy outdoor dining on our new patio!

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FOOD 43

will fill bagel sandwiches when the café reopens. He’ll also use the oven to roast chicken and turkey. “We’re shooting for a scratch cooking scenario using local meats and produce and other such things to adorn the bagels for breakfast and lunch,” he says. Emily Conn will take a similar approach to producing dessert. She’s been running the Bakery at the Farmhouse Kitchen from her home, but access to Myer’s professional oven will allow her to expand it fourfold. That means Conn can finally fulfill the orders from big markets that have been courting her, including

02.27.13-03.06.13

The plan is to reinvigorate both Myer’s’ wholesale business and its café, which will open in its new form on April 1, following a brief March closure for renovations. Bloch and Jones will be part of the team helping roll bagels, including new organic and gluten-free lines. But the wood-fired oven has more in store. For four years before Squires decided to go with Bloch and Jones, the Conns were also in talks with him about taking over the space. Now the culinary couple, who met at a woodoven restaurant in Rhode Island, are coming on board to help bring Myer’s to its greatest potential.

2/25/13 2:31 PM

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cOurtesy OF the bakery at the FarMhOuse kitchen

kItChEn.

Chris Conn first worked with Squires when he served Myer’s bagels as head of the Dealer.com cafeteria. To bring in diners from that business and others on Pine Street and its environs, Conn will spearhead a program to turn the simple bakery into a serious foodie café.

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Add the chopped meat and mix by hand. Toss the ingredients as if caressing the foam on top of seashore waves until well combined. If you are distracted, refrigerate for a short while. The tartare is best if shared immediately. Serve with truffle French fries and toasted bread points. Crisp kale salad with lemon-honey vinaigrette and toasted almonds would also complete this orgy of hands-on primal flavors. A Champagne cocktail of a very dry bubbly topped off with the remaining Cognac from the recipe might well seal the deal.

Chris Russo, San Sai Japanese Restaurant, Burlington

We couldn’t skip oysters — or a hint of heat — in our hypothetical sexy meal. Emilia Romagna And Chris Russo of San Sai Japanese Restaurant wouldn’t have it any other Feb 26-Mar 1 way. “I could eat six easily,” says the New Jersey transplant, who crafts Burlington’s Tuscany Mar 5-8 FISH & WILDLIFE DEPARTMENT most seductive sushi alongside his www.vtfishandwildlife.com teacher, Kazutoshi Maeda. “They’re oysters. What’s not sexy about oysters?” 8V-VtFishWildlife022713.indd 1 2/25/138v-lamante020613.indd 4:22 PM 1 1/28/13 12:22 PM Sexier still is the tingly bite that a hint of hot sauce imparts to the slippery shellfish. Russo also says he finds the tang of citrus, er, c hr i S inspiring. He recommends that home cooks not follow proportions too closely, just mix the listed ingredients to their personal tastes. But ultimately, it’s the dish’s simplicity that Russo thinks will get lovers going. “You need to be subtle and powerful — subtle and strong at the same time,” he says. “Too much subtlety is not going to work especially well for you in 8h-augustfirst022013.indd 1 2/18/13 10:38 AM that realm.” refined comfort food at comfortable prices

bowl. Dress each oyster with just enough to cover it. Top each with a few pieces of shaved radish, a drop or two of hot sauce and some scallions. To serve, place oysters on shells and fill a plate with salt. Nestle each oyster in a mound to keep the shell in place. Enjoy with dry or medium-bodied sake.

Jean-Louis Gerin, New England Culinary Institute, Montpelier

Having a knight cook for them is probably enough to whet many people’s appetites. And Jean-Louis Gerin, declared both a Chevalier du Mérite Agricole and a Chevalier des Arts et des Lettres by the French government, certainly feeds diners with courtly ardor. Now vice president of culinary operations and executive chef at the New England Culinary Institute, Gerin is spending less time on the line than he did during the lifespan of his famed Restaurant Jean-Louis in Greenwich, Conn. He’s closed it, leaving himself more time for romantic evenings like the one suggested by the recipe he gave us, which is centered on a bottle of Champagne. “Cooking with Champagne is a great excuse to open the bottle,” Gerin says. “There is a means to it — it’s not just enjoyment. It has a purpose.” If that purpose is seduction, Gerin says, ru S S o his red snapper dish will provide a sensual experience beyond that of getting drunk on premium booze. “The fish, when it’s cooked like that, it’s just melting. It’s very friendly, and, at the same time, you have the crunch. It’s a little bit of biting,” he says. Whether or not the biting continues after dinner, you’ll still have that bottle to keep you company.

They’re oysTers.

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44 FOOD

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Ponzu Oysters Yield: Serves 2

6 oysters 1/3 cup soy sauce 1/4 cup lemon, orange or lime juice 1 tablespoon rice vinegar A small amount of daikon, shaved Hot sauce, to taste Chopped scallions, to garnish Shuck oysters. Wash to remove sand. Nothing will kill the moment quicker than a hint of grit. Combine soy sauce, citrus juice and rice vinegar in a small

Champagne Red Snapper With Warm Fingerling Potatoes and Fennel Salad Yield: Serves 4

4 large fingerling potatoes 4 skin-on red snapper fillets Salt, to taste White pepper, to taste 2 cups Champagne

more food after the classifieds section. page 45

more food before the classifieds section.

page 44

1/2 medium yellow onion, peeled and finely chopped 2 tablespoons heavy cream 4 tablespoons butter 2 heads of fennel, thinly sliced and tossed with 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice 4 cups arugula Chopped chives for garnish 2 tablespoons lightly roasted almonds

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For mousse: 4 ounces white chocolate 2 tablespoons heavy cream 2 egg whites 2 tablespoons sugar 2 ounces cream cheese 2 ounces crème fraîche Vanilla bean or extract, just a touch For sauce: 1 cup raw cranberries 1/2 cup brown sugar Zest and juice of 1/2 orange 1 tablespoon fresh ginger 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon Pinch of cayenne pepper Pinch of salt

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FOOD 45

Melt chocolate with two tablespoons of cream over a double boiler. In another bowl, whip egg whites until soft peaks form. Add sugar and slowly beat until stiff peaks form. (You know you like it stiff.) In a separate bowl, mix cream cheese and crème fraîche until smooth, then add melted chocolate mixture to crème fraîche mixture and whip until well combined. Carefully fold in egg whites. Let set for three hours. Meanwhile, combine the sauce’s ingredients in a food processor. Taste it together, adjusting the cayenne to the heat that you both desire. When the chocolate mixture has set, pour the sauce on top. If you get swept up and forget dessert while you wait, put the mixture in the freezer — a bit of frigidity won’t keep this mousse down. m

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When he taught at the New England Culinary Institute, Gerry Nooney always worried that he was courting controversy as he gave future chefs a lesson on portion control that referred specifically to a meal’s potential spicy sequel. “You don’t want someone to eat

2/25/13 12:33 PM

02.27.13-03.06.13

Gerry Nooney, Sugarbush Resort, Warren

White Chocolate Mousse With Cranberry Salsa Cruda

6h-HPH022713.indd 1

SEVENDAYSVt.com

Place potatoes in a medium pot of salted water, bring to a simmer over mediumhigh heat and simmer until cooked through, 10 to 12 minutes. Drain, peel and cut potatoes into quarter-inch-thick slices. Set aside. Season flesh side only of fish (not skin side) with salt and white pepper and set aside. Bring 1 1/2 cups of the Champagne to a boil in a wide sauté pan large enough to fit all four red snapper fillets. Boil 30 seconds to remove the alcohol, then add the finely chopped onions and the red snapper fillets (skinside up). Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer until the fish is cooked and the skin is shiny, about five minutes. Remove fish from pan, set aside and tent with aluminum foil. To make the sauce: Increase heat to medium high, add the cream and boil fish-cooking liquid until reduced in volume by half, four to five minutes. Transfer liquid (with onions) to blender or food processor and blend with the butter and four slices of potato until smooth. Bring remaining half-cup of Champagne to a boil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add the slices of potato and heat. Add the blended fishcooking liquid and carefully stir to mix well and allow to heat through, but do not boil. Finally, toss in the thinly sliced fennel, which should be wilted but not cooked. To serve, place the arugula on each plate. Divide potatoes and fennel evenly among plates, then top potatoes with the red snapper. Drizzle fish with emulsified sauce and sprinkle with chives and roasted almonds. We think you know what to do with the rest of that Champagne.

45,000 calories and think they’re going to do anything other than sit in their car trying to catch their breath,” he says. “What you want your guest to do is go home and have sex, because ultimately, if they do, they’re more than likely going to come back to you. They might not remember the food, but they remember it was good.” Nooney never did get in trouble for that advice, and he says he holds to it as director of food and beverage at Sugarbush Resort. But the sexy dessert he shares with Seven Days has a more personal story. His wife chose it. Creamy white chocolate with the zip of cranberry and a hint of heat from cayenne pepper apparently excites Mrs. Nooney, though the chef himself says he finds “very little sexy” about the recipe. Which brings us to another lesson: Always put the lady’s pleasure first.

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halk it up to aging, hormones or just stress: Eros sometimes takes a vacation. While Big 802-326-3269 theblacklanterninn.com Pharma offers a temporary fix for men — Viagra — finding a long-term 16t-BlackLantern022713.indd 1 2/22/13 4:14 PMremedy for waning desire has proved more elusive. So the libidinally challenged sometimes follow a well-worn path, looking to traditional herbs, roots, teas and infusions to help reignite their fires. Aphrodisiacs concocted from plants and other ingredients are a multimilliondollar (and growing) business, and the market is crowded with elixirs ranging from Screaming O Intimate Tea (with fts Dra k bac itch $2 Sw peppermint, suma and ginseng) to use $2 off any Ho an Herbal Virility Male Performance Mac n Cheese Booster laced with bovine-testes extract. 20 mac varieties to Vermont herbalists suggest sexual choose from including: solutions need not be so far out. “So much about sexual dysfunction is about buffalo chicken • bbq expectation of penetration, which is a crab • lobster • beef & bleu very hetero idea,” says Dana Woodruff, chicken parmesan • surf & turf a Plainfield herbalist who offers pb&j • mary had a little lamb workshops on herbal aphrodisiacs. caprese • cheeseburger “Men expect to have an erection, southwest • shrimp scampi regardless of age, and then think mediterranean • blt they’re supposed to buy pills instead super cheesy • nutty new england of addressing a circulation problem or cheesesteak • breakfast prostate health.” Through her company, Dandelioness Herbals, Woodruff sells a few sensual formulations of her own, such as a Chocolate Spice Elixir “to stir you up” and a Heart Elixir of hawthorne berries and rose petals. Sylvia Lio, proprietor of the Vermont Herbal General Store in West Rutland, says the sexually challenged make up a sizable portion of her clientele. “I get some women, but mostly men,” Lio says. The latter often suffer from erectile dysfunction. “They’re pretty open about it. People tell their pharmacist everything.” 36 Main Street, Winooski Though she is, indeed, a certified 802-497-1884 pharmacist, Lio opened her shop about www.ourhousebistro.com 12 years ago to offer natural alternatives to medicine, she says, an approach she learned early in life from her grandmother. Lio carries a few products Say you1 saw it in... 1/7/13 3:53 PMfor her low-libido clientele, including 6v-ourhouse010913.indd a lotion laced with ylang-ylang, musk, jasmine and rose (“It smells so good and sevendaysvt.com gets the desire going,” she says); and a Located in Montgomery Village Just ten miles from Jay Peak!

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SEVEN DAYS 46 FOOD

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powdered Vermont Herbal Love Potion filled with ginger, ginseng, yohimbe and damiana. Local herbalists often cite damiana, a shrub native to Mexico and Central America, as a sexual salve. “You can’t ignore damiana. It’s warming and dispersive and can give you that rosy glow,” says Andrew Wolf, a Burlington gardener and certified herbalist with a specialty in erotic herbalism. He adds that damiana helps melt away one of the most stubborn barriers to sex: stress. “It has an immediate relaxing effect.” Wolf practices Ayurveda, an ancient Indian alternative to Western medicine. For his own “personal virility formula,” he uses a combination of exotic-sounding herbs and roots such as ashwagandha, maca, tribulus and kola nut. What Wolf prescribes for clients, though, differs according to their constitution. “You have to take everything in the context of your own body,” he says. That holistic approach is also

central to the practice of Liz Geran and Brendan Kelly, certified acupuncturists who own Jade Mountain Wellness in Burlington. Kelly is resistant to citing any botanical as a one-size-fits-all solution to sexual or fertility problems; such issues can have deep roots in the body and psyche, he points out. “In our practice, the question is, why are these symptoms appearing? Symptoms are branches of the root cause,” Kelly says. That could be a complicated web of emotional and physical imbalances. “There’s no one herb that’s always going to be effective,” he adds. “We’re not taking the usual Western medical approach.” Some of these herbalists’ suggestions were esoteric: More than one mentioned deer-antler velvet as an aphrodisiac, and one even recommended pumpkin seeds for prostate health. What follows is a list of more easily procured botanicals. Just consult with an herbalist or physician before trying them.

food

Horny goat weed (epimedium) and rehmannia

Another powerful enhancer for female sexuality is shatavari, a feathery herb with a bittersweet root that has been used for centuries in India to treat infertility and other reproductive problems. “It’s pretty amazing and broadly useful, both calming and stress reducing,” says Wolf. In English, “shatavari” translates to “a woman who has 100 husbands.” It can be taken in teas and tinctures.

Damiana’s creD as a love cultivator

Ashwagandha, ginseng and maca

Yohimbe

A modern botanical rock star, yohimbe has garnered press in recent years as a natural alternative to Viagra and Cialis. The ground bark of the yohimbe tree — an evergreen that grows in West Africa — is the key ingredient in yohimbine, a drug for erectile dysfunction. The bark 112 Lake Street • Burlington itself is a powerful stimulant; some www.sansaivt.com people report that it makes their palms sweat, their hearts beat faster and their nether parts spring to attention. 12v-SanSai010913.indd 1 1/7/13 2:08 PM But, warns Wolf, “It’s not something to mess with on its own unless you’re a 20-year-old guy who can handle everything.” Used incorrectly, yohimbe “can damage the spongy tissue of the penis for the rest of your life.” Bracing words.

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FOOD 47

OK, it’s not an herb, root, bark or flower. But the Aztecs knew that the power of love lurked inside the cocoa bean — phenylethylamine, a distinct mood lifter. “It increases the blood flow to your skin, and its sensitivity,” Wolf says. In Woodruff’s Chocolate Spice Elixir, she pairs Fair Trade chocolate with cardamom and ginger “to get our circulation moving.” And high dosage is never a problem, except for your waistline. m

SEVEN DAYS

As Wolf puts it, “One of the major reasons people have sexual problems is a lack of energy,” so botanicals that counter fatigue can double as sexual aids. Ashwagandha, which translates to “smell of a horse,” is a bushy nightshade herb related to eggplant and tomatoes that has antiinflammatory and stress-fighting properties. Compounds such as alkaloids and steroidal lactones are plentiful in its roots, and in Ayurveda,

02.27.13-03.06.13

is reflected in one variation of its latin name: turnera aphrodisiaca.

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Kelly says that male sexual problems often result from a deficiency of yang, the universal male principle. In his practice at Jade Mountain Wellness, he and Geran sometimes draw on epimedium — aka yin yang huo, or horny goat weed — to increase virility. “It can help with those who are lacking in the drive and desire of sexuality,” Kelly says. Horny goat weed was allegedly discovered when a Chinese herder of yore noticed his goats got erections after grazing on the stuff. Whether that story is apocryphal or not, the stimulant — a staple of Chinese herbal medicine for more than 2000 years — has been scientifically shown to boost testosterone. Icariin, an extract of horny goat weed, helps inhibit obstacles to erection. On the flip side, a lack of yin in women can give rise to low libido. For that, Kelly taps rehmannia root, or shu di huang, something to increase a client’s ability to “take in sensuality,” he says. Rehmannia’s droopy, bell-shaped flower makes it a popular ornamental plant, but its roots are chock-full of vitamins and

Shatavari

Hot Date?

ashwagandha is used for enhancing male virility. “It’s a pretty great sexual tonic,” Wolf says. Some herbalists don’t like to talk about ginseng, because the plant is Romantic Dining Casual Atmosphere endangered (its harvest is regulated in Vermont). But this key component of 27 Bridge St, Richmond • Tues-Sun Lio’s Love Potion is also a trusty source 434-3148 of sexual oomph. “It’s energy raising and strengthening,” Wolf says, though he’s reluctant to say much about 12v-toscano022013.indd 1 2/18/13 11:13 AM ginseng until its cultivation becomes more sustainable. Sometimes called Peruvian ginseng, maca is a hardy plant that grows high in the Andes. Though its radish-like roots are sometimes eaten as a vegetable, Wolf says they also “increase stamina, boost libido and allay fatigue.” He suggests boiling the ground root with water and drinking the slurry.

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Damiana’s cred as an aphrodisiac harks back to the Aztecs, and its renowned powers as a love cultivator are reflected in one variation of its Latin name: Turnera aphrodisiaca. The plant, which smells a bit like chamomile, can be so relaxing that its use has been outlawed in Louisiana. Yet admirers still flock to the herb for its libido-boosting properties. “The first time I had damiana, it was with a pinch of honey and cayenne, and I thought it was musky and pleasant,” Woodruff says. Within minutes, however, “I felt like it heightened my senses,” she continues. “Colors were more vibrant, and I felt more aware of my surroundings.” Wolf calls damiana the ultimate herb for relaxation. “It helps you get out of that stressed-out head space,” he says. A few Vermont herbalists suggest drinking it in a tea.

other compounds that boost a flagging libido and counter vaginal dryness. (“Yes, yes, yes!” exclaims Kelly, when asked if rehmannia helps in that regard.) Once the root is dried and ground, it’s often taken in capsule form.

Reservations Recommended

Damiana

2/22/13 12:41 PM

FEBRUARY27-MARCH 6, 2013

WED.27 comedy

IMPROV NIGHT : Fun-loving participants play “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”-style games in an encouraging environment. Spark Arts, Burlington, 8-10 p.m. $7 suggested donation. Info, 373-4703.

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CHAMP WEEK : Does the famed lake monster really exist? Kids and their caregivers investigate this local legend with interactive programs and activities. ECHO Lake Aquarium and Science Center/ Leahy Center for Lake Champlain, Burlington, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Regular admission, $9.50-$12.50. Info, 877-324-6386.

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BURLINGTON GO CLUB : Folks gather weekly to play this deceptively simple, highly strategic Asian board game. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free; bring a set if you have one. Info, 860-9587, dfelcan@yahoo.com.

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GUIDED MEDITATION : Marna Ehriech guides an explorative weekly practice. Rainbow Institute, Burlington, 5:30-7 p.m. $11 suggested donation. Info, 238-7908. MEDITATION & DISCUSSION: Powerful energies arise from this participant-led session, followed by 20 minutes of meditation and a brief discussion. Inspired Yoga Studios, Jay, 5:45-7 p.m. Donations. Info, 988-0449. ‘80S WORKOUT WEDNESDAYS : Break out the spandex and sweat bands, and get moving to aerobic

COLD WINTER, WARM BIRDS: Youngsters ages 6 to 12 conduct indoor and outdoor experiments to determine why certain avian species thrive in cold-weather habitats. Birds of Vermont Museum, Huntington, 1:30-3:30 p.m. $10-15; preregister; limited space. Info, 388-2167.

THE PEKING ACROBATS

MAR.1 | THEATER

Friday, March 1, 7:30 p.m., at Paramount ˛ eatre in Rutland. $29.50-36.50. Info, 775-0903. paramountvt.org

MAKER SPACE FOR KIDS : Students in grades 3 and up dismantle household objects to see how they work, then create something new out of the parts. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 878-6956. MAY’S WORLD MUSIC & MOVEMENT: Energetic children lace up their dancing shoes for a fun class with May Poduschnick. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 10:30-11:15 a.m. Free. Info, 388-4097. MONTGOMERY PLAYGROUP : Little ones exercise their bodies and minds in the company of adult caregivers. Montgomery Town Library, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 527-5426. MOVING & GROOVING WITH CHRISTINE: Two- to 5-year-olds jam out to rock-and-roll and world-beat tunes. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. SESAME STREET LIVE: ‘ELMO’S SUPER HEROES’: When Super Grover loses his powers, the Fabulous Five — led by the furry red monster with a sweet voice — come to his rescue. Flynn MainStage, Burlington, 3:30 p.m. & 7 p.m. $16.76-52.46. Info, 863-5966. ST. ALBANS PLAYGROUP : Creative activities and storytelling engage young minds. NCSS Family Center, St. Albans, 9-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426. STORY TIME & PLAYGROUP : Read-aloud tales pave the way for themed art, nature and cooking projects. Jaquith Public Library, Marshﬁ eld, 10-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 426-3581. STORY WALK : Families take a stroll around the library grounds and read A Hat for Minerva along

WED.27

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On any given day in China, approximately 100,000 acrobatic students attend schools dedicated to the craf t. However, only the elite go on to tour with a prof essional troupe such as the Peking Acrobats, whose members symbolize the country’s extreme dedication to an art f orm dating back thousands of years. While traditional instruments accompany the perf ormers on their 27th North American tour, the entertainment is decidedly modern. Jaw-dropping acts include gif ted tumblers bounding across the stage, contortionists who twist into seemingly impossible positions, and a bicyclist who stacks the group onto his shoulders and pedals around with ease.

COURTESY OF STEPHEN MEASE PHOTOGRAPHY

VIBRANT VOICES FILM SERIES: ‘HELEN CALDICOTT & THE ENVIRONMENT’ : ˛ e Australian doctor and international speaker outlines how nuclear weapons and radiation affect everyday life. A discussion follows. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600.

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

ART OF THE CIVIL WAR : Children ages 6 to 12 participate in themed activities related to the time period, including a visit to the “Freedom and Unity” exhibit. Vermont History Museum, Montpelier, 1-4 p.m. $6-8. Info, 828-1413.

ﬁ lm

‘RUST AND BONE’ : Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard stars opposite Matthias Schoenaerts in Jacques Audiard’s drama about the relationship that develops between a single father and a beautiful woman after she loses her legs in an accident. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 1:30 p.m. $4-8. Info, 748-2600.

02.27.13-03.06.13

kids

BABYTIME PLAYGROUP : Crawling tots and their parents convene for playtime and sharing. Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, 10:30 a.m.-noon. Free; preregister. Info, 658-3659.

‘JUST 45 MINUTES TO BROADWAY’: Henry Jaglom directs this comedic drama about an actress who returns to her parents’ country home for Passover and ﬁ nds herself in the midst of family turmoil. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 1:30 p.m. & 5:30 p.m. $4-8. Info, 748-2600.

SEVEN DAYS

workout videos led by Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons. Big Picture ˛ eater & Café, Waitsﬁ eld, 8-10 a.m. $2. Info, 496-8994.

MAKE STUFF! : Defunct bicycle parts become works of art and jewelry that will be sold to raise funds and awareness. Bike Recycle Vermont, Burlington, 6-9 p.m. Free. Info, 264-9687.

‘HILARY AND JACKIE’ : Anand Tucker’s biographical ﬁ lm depicts the struggles of renowned cellist Jacqueline du Pré, as told by her sister, ﬂ autist Hilary du Pré-Finzi. A discussion with library director Richard Bidnick follows. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338.

COURTESY OF BRITTANY APP

calendar

Balancing Act

CALENDAR EVENTS IN SEVEN DAYS:

LISTINGS AND SPOTLIGHTS ARE WRITTEN BY COURTNEY COPP. SEVEN DAYS EDITS FOR SPACE AND STYLE. DEPENDING ON COST AND OTHER FACTORS, CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS MAY BE LISTED IN EITHER THE CALENDAR OR THE CLASSES SECTION. WHEN APPROPRIATE, CLASS ORGANIZERS MAY BE ASKED TO PURCHASE A CLASS LISTING.

MAR.1-3 | ETC. Step Into Spring Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” f eatures the f amous lines, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I / I took the one less traveled by / And that has made all the di˜ erence.” At the Vermont Flower Show, the pastoral poet’s verse inspires themed garden and horticulture displays designed to evoke the wonders of hidden, enchanted spaces. Flowering plants, water f eatures and dry-laid stone walls from the featured artist, acclaimed stoneworker Dan Snow, transform the Champlain Valley Exposition into a woodland wonder. Attendees can explore the processes behind this colorful explosion of ﬂ ora and (pretend) fauna with more than 80 exhibits, seminars and workshops.

VERMONT FLOWER SHOW Friday, March 1, and Saturday, March 2, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sunday, March 3, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., at Champlain Valley Exposition in Essex Junction. $3-15; free for children under 3; $30 weekend pass. Info, 888-518-6484. greenworksvermont.org

MAR.1 | MUSIC

Occasionally, a musical union produces a blend of synchronicity and skill that catches the attention of critics and audiences worldwide. Germany’s internationally acclaimed Atos Trio is one such group. After receiving the esteemed KalichsteinLaredo-Robinson International Trio Award in 2007, violinist Annette von Hehn, cellist Stefan Heinemeyer and pianist Thomas Hoppe swept the Melbourne International Chamber Music Composition the same year — a previously unaccomplished feat by a single ensemble. The rising stars, whom the Detroit Press describes as “Three voices — one sound,” perform “A Spring Morning,” a program of selected works by French composers Boulanger, Chaminade, Debussy, Fauré and Françaix.

COURTESY OF FRANK JERKE

Pitch Perfect

ATOS TRIO Friday, March 1, 7:30-10 p.m., at UVM Recital Hall in Burlington. $15-25. Info, 863-5966.

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Takin’ It to the Streets

02.27.13-03.06.13

he best of ofthe theBig Big Easy Easy heads heads north north for a New for a New Orleans-style celebration atatthethe 18 th18th annual annual Magic Hat Mardi Mardi Gras GrasParade. Parade.Revelers Revelersgather gather byby the thousands for forfestivities festivitiesthat thatbegin begin with Afrowith thethe AfroBrazilian rhythms ofofSambatucada!, Sambatucada!, the Bindlestiff the Bindlestiff Family Circus and reggae from Wolfman Conspiracy. After boogying down, bystanders bedecked in strands of beads beads vie for top top honors honorsininthe theKing King and Queen of Mardi and Queen of Mardi GrasGras Costume Contest. Downtown DowntownBurlington Burlingtonis is transformed transformed into a sea of of people people in inbright brightcolors, colors,flflanking anking aaprocession procession of ornate, themed fl floats oats down down Main Street beginning at 3 p.m. Proceeds benefi benefitt the the nonprofi nonprofittHOPE HOPEWorks, Works,which whichis is committed to ending sexual violence.

SEVEN DAYS

MAGIC HAT MARDI GRAS PARADE PARADE CALENDAR 49

Saturday, March 2, noon-5 p.m., in downtown Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2739. magichat.net

MAR.2 | FAIRS & FESTIVALS COURTESY OF MATTHEW THORSEN

li St Your EVENt for fr

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the way. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. Info, 985-8686. Video Camp : Using professional equipment, budding film buffs ages 10 to 14 learn the craft and produce short bits for viewing during a special story time. Milton Public Library, 1-2:30 p.m. Free; preregister. Info, 893-4644. Youth media Lab : Aspiring Spielbergs learn about moviemaking with local television experts. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Free; preregister; limited space. Info, 388-4097.

seminars

arabi C musi C Workshop : The members of New Sounds From the Arab Lands discuss Middle Eastern music and their merging of traditional and contemporary styles. Hartman Rehearsal Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2010. soCiodrama: h eaLing soCiet Y t hrough Creati Ve aCtion : Meditation practitioner Herb Propper presents Jacob L. Moreno’s group roleplaying technique as a way to deal with common concerns and issues. Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, 5:30-7:15 p.m. Free; preregister. Info, 223-8000, ext. 202. spend smart series : This practical introduction to money management focuses on personalized financial goals. Champlain Valley Office of Economic Opportunity, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 8601417, ext. 114. ‘What’s next’ Writing Workshop : Wind Ridge Publishing’s Emily Copeland advises wordsmiths about completed manuscripts, including how to get them into the right hands. The Writers’ Barn, Shelburne, 6-8 p.m. $25; preregister; limited space. Info, 985-3091.

sport

50 CALENDAR

SEVEN DAYS

02.27.13-03.06.13

SEVENDAYSVt.com

CoLLege night : Current students take advantage of their flexible schedules and Vermont’s ski-andsnowboard opportunities. Bolton Valley Resort, noon-8 p.m. $19 lift tickets with valid school ID. Info, 434-6804.

words

book saLe: Bookworms looking to stock their shelves with new material peruse a large selection of affordable titles. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Free. Info, 878-6955. bur Lington Writers Workshop meeting : Members read and respond to the poetry and prose of fellow wordsmiths. Participants must join the group to have their work reviewed. Halflounge, Burlington, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Free; preregister at meetup.com. Info, 383-8104. Contemp Lati Ve meeting : Reading material inspires discussion about the Gnostic principle “Images: The Language of our Time.” Foot of the Hill Building, St. Albans, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 524-9706. dine & dis Cuss : Led by Edward Cashman, folks share a meal and conversation about Geraldine Brooks’ Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free; preregister; bring a Middle Eastern dish to share. Info, 878-6955. niCoLe georges & Cassie sneider : The authors of the graphic memoirs Calling Dr. Laura and Fine Fine Music, respectively, sign and discuss their books. Phoenix Books Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 448-3350.

thu .28 activism

pub LiC f orum: Vermont r ight to kno W gmo s: Community members gather to learn about the grassroots campaign behind proposed state legislation to label genetically engineered foods. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5221 . Vermont h umane Lobb Y daY: Animal advocates meet with elected officials about legislation to end the practice of confining pregnant sows to gestation crates. Pavilion Building, Montpelier, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Free; preregister. Info, 244-5895 , jbourbeau@ humanesociety.org.

agriculture

green mountain t ab Le t ennis C Lub : Ping-pong players swing their paddles in singles and doubles matches. Knights of Columbus, Rutland, 7-10 p.m. Free for first two sessions; $30 annual membership. Info, 247-5913.

Chu Ck r oss : Vermont’s secretary of agriculture outlines post-Tropical Storm Irene rebuilding efforts, after which farmers take the floor with questions and concerns. Withey Hall, Green Mountain College, Poultney, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 272-0822 .

night r iders : Skiers and riders compete in the illuminated terrain parks for prizes. Bolton Valley Resort, 4:30-8 p.m. $18 includes lift ticket; $12 for season-pass holders. Info, 877-926-5866.

conferences

t rapp nordi C Cup 2012-13 : Race against the clock in this weekly nordic 5K skate and/or timed trial at the home of the first cross-country ski center in the U.S. Trapp Family Lodge Nordic Center, Stowe, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. $8 plus trail pass; see trappfamily. com for specific prices. Info, 253-5719.

talks

sand Y r eider, deborah kahn, Jennifer ste LLa & h eather r iCe: In “Forced Vaccination: Who Is Calling the Shots?” the Vermont Coalition for Vaccine Choice members explain legislative and agency involvement in this controversial subject. A Q&A follows. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 626-6007.

theater

midd Lebur Y aCtors Workshop auditions : The semiprofessional ensemble holds tryouts for future performances of God of Carnage and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Town Hall Theater, Middlebury, 6-9 p.m. Free; preregister at melissl@gmavt.net. Info, 233-5255. ‘t he dining r oom’ : Peter Marsh directs this Vermont Actors’ Repertory Theatre production of A.R. Gurney’s play, which spans time periods with interrelated scenes of upper-middle-class families sitting at the same table. Paramount Theatre, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $15. Info, 775-0903.

Center for the Comparati Ve stud Y of r aCe & ethni Cit Y 2013 sYmposium : Participants examine migration in film, workshops and discussions, including “The Making of an Immigrant” from keynoter Dinaw Mengestu of Georgetown University. Axinn Center, Starr Library and Robert A. Jones Conference Room, Middlebury College. 4:30-6 p.m. & 6:30-7:45 p.m. Free; see middlebury.edu for details. Info, 443-3190.

film

‘dirt! the moVie’: Jamie Lee Curtis narrates this eye-opening ode to soil, which examines humans’ tumultuous relationship with the natural resource. Deborah Rawson Memorial Library, Jericho, 6:308:30 p.m. Free; for ages 12 and up; bring cup and bowl for refreshments. Info, 872-8100, ext. 234. ‘Just 45 minutes to broad WaY’: See WED.27, 5:30 p.m. ‘r ust and bone’ : See WED.27, 7:30 p.m.

food & drink

t rapp maLbeC dinner : Executive chef Kim Lambrechts delights diners’ palates by pairing this red wine with a three-course meal. Trapp Family Lodge, Stowe, 6:30 p.m. $60 plus tax and tip; preregister. Info, 253-5733 .

health & fitness

Chinese mediCine in the kit Chen : Acupuncturist Joseph Rothstein reveals the healing potential of basic foods. Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free; preregister. Info, 223-8000 ext. 202.

EE At SEVENDAYSVT.COM/POSTEVENT

fL uid Yoga : Early risers focus on breathing techniques, proper alignment and balance based on vinyasa principles. A guided meditation follows. SEABA Center, Burlington, 7-8 a.m. $5 suggested donation; see pascucciyoga.com for details. Info, 859-9222.

Zoran Jo LeVski : The Macedonian ambassador to the U.S. presents “The Importance of Leadership in Life, Politics and Military Affairs.” Milano Ballroom, Norwich University, Northfield, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 485-2516.

kids

theater

Champ Week : See WED.27, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

‘Vermont Comed Y night’ : Newcomer Jim Inglis joins Nathan Hartswick and Natalie Miller for an evening of comedic banter at the THT Cabaret Series. Byers Studio, Town Hall Theater, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $10; cash bar. Info, 382-9222.

aLburgh pLaYgroup : Tots form friendships over music and movement. Alburgh Family Center of NCSS, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426. ‘diar Y of a Wimp Y kid: dog daYs’: Greg Heffley finds new ways to get into trouble in the latest film adaptation of Jeff Kinney’s popular children’s book series. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 2-3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 878-6956.

‘t he dining r oom’ : See WED.27, 7:30 p.m.

words

book saLe: See WED.27, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Lego Creations : Budding builders ages 5 and up create unique structures with brightly colored pieces. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1:30-3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

Chris boh JaLian : The acclaimed novelist discusses how his Armenian heritage and the country’s genocide influenced his book The Sandcastle Girls. Shelburne Town Hall, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 985-5116.

Lun Ch & Learn series: f air Y gardens : Annie Leadbetter helps kids and their caregivers tap into their imaginations and create whimsical horticulture designs. Gardener’s Supply: Williston Garden Center & Outlet, noon-12:45 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2433.

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midd Lebur Y pres Choo L stor Y t ime: Little learners master early-literacy skills through tales, rhymes and songs. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 10:30-11:15 a.m. Free. Info, 388-4369. musi C With r aphae L: Preschoolers up to age 5 bust out song-and-dance moves to traditional and original folk music. Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, 10:30 a.m. Free; limited to one session per week per family. Info, 878-4918. stor Y WaLk: See WED.27, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Vermont’s natura L r esour Ces: Children ages 6 to 12 participate in themed activities related to the environment, as well as a visit to the “Freedom and Unity” exhibit. Vermont History Museum, Montpelier, 1-4 p.m. $6-8. Info, 828-1413. Video Camp : See WED.27, 1-2:30 p.m.

music

open miC night : Musical performers of all ages step to the stage and showcase their skills in a supportive atmosphere. ArtisTree Community Arts Center & Gallery, Woodstock, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 457-3500. pot LuCk dinner Jam : Katie Trautz and Tom MacKenzie teach old-time fiddle and banjo basics before a shared meal and musical exploration of the techniques. Summit School, Montpelier, 6-8 p.m. $20 plus dish to share; preregister. Info, 917-1186.

art

montpe Lier art Wa Lk: Vermont h istor Y museum : Participants discover a visual dialogue about the state, including the award-winning exhibit “Freedom and Unity: One Ideal, Many Stories.” Vermont History Museum, Montpelier, 4-7 p.m. Free. Info, 828-2180.

comedy

r ust Y deWees: The dynamic entertainer, widely known as “the Logger,” delivers a blue-collar comedy show inspired by his Vermont roots. Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., 8 p.m. $21. Info, 518-523-2512.

conferences

Center for the Comparati Ve stud Y of r aCe & ethni Cit Y 2013 sYmposium : See THU.28, 11 a.m.12:30 p.m., 2-3:30 p.m., 4 p.m.

dance

baLLroom Lesson & dan Ce soCia L: Singles and couples of all experience levels take a twirl. Jazzercize Studio, Williston, lesson 7-8 p.m.; open dancing 8-10 p.m. $14. Info, 862-2269. ‘eat mY art out’ : Area dancers and choreographers showcase works-in-progress in an informal setting that encourages audience feedback. Contemporary Dance & Fitness Studio, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $5-10 suggested donation. Info, 229-4676.

sport

eng Lish Countr Y dan Ce: David Millstone, Carol Compton and Thal Aylward provide music for an evening of creative expression by newcomers and experienced movers alike. All dances are taught. Elley-Long Music Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, introductory workshop, 7-7:30 p.m.; dance, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $8-10; bring a snack to share. Info, 899-2378.

t eLe t hursda Ys: Eastern Mountain Sports hosts weekly free-heel skiing under the lights for all skill levels. Lessons start at 6 p.m. Bolton Valley Resort, 5:30-8 p.m. $40 includes lesson and equipment; lift ticket required; preregister at emsexploration.com. Info, 864-0473.

f reedom f rida Y dan Ce Jam: This alternative to the club scene involves a conscious movement practice led by curiosity, creativity and inspired music. North End Studio A, Burlington, 8-10:30 p.m. $10. Info, 363-4912.

CoChran’s ski area r ope-a- t hon : At this fundraiser for the nonprofit, winter athletes take as many rope-tow runs as possible in an effort to reach 5,000,000 vertical feet in one day. Cochran’s Ski Area, Richmond, registration, 9-10 a.m.; ski, 10 a.m.4 p.m. Donations. Info, 291-1348.

talks

katrina spade : The student culminates her sustainable design-build studies with a presentation on compost-powered hot-water systems. Yestermorrow Design/Build School, Waitsfield, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 496-5545. musi Ca borea Lis: musi C of the north : Through traditional ballads, master storyteller and singer Norman Kennedy introduces the folklore and social customs of Scotland’s Hebrides Islands. KelloggHubbard Library, Montpelier, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338. pau L monod : In an illustrated lecture, the history professor examines a mysterious figure in a 15thcentury triptych at the Middlebury College Museum of Art. Room 125, Mahaney Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-3168.

Queen Cit Y t ango miLonga : No partner is required for welcoming the weekend in the Argentine tradition. Wear clean, soft-soled shoes. North End Studios, Burlington, Introductory session, 7-7:45 p.m.; dance, 7:45-10 p.m. $7. Info, 877-6648.

etc.

f ree enterprise oLY mpiCs: Entrepreneurial college students from New Hampshire, Vermont and New York bring innovative ideas about the economic system to this competition, which presents business-proposal challenges. Angell College Center, SUNY Plattsburgh, N.Y., 9:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 518-564-4169, nancy.church@plattsburgh.edu. Vermont fL oWer sho W: Spring is in the air! This year’s “The Road Not Taken” theme emulates Robert Frost’s poem of the same name with garden designs

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The Edge 4 Gauthier Drive Essex 115 Wellness Drive Williston 860-3343 75 Eastwood Drive South Burlington

Manhattan Pizza 167 Main St, Burlington

Old Spokes Home 322 N. Winooski Ave. Burlington The Optical Center 107 Church St. Burlington Ramuntoâ€™s Brick Oven Pizza Tafts Corner Shopping Plaza Williston Three Brothers PIzza & Grill 973 Roosevelt Hwy Colchester

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Eyes of the World 168 Battery St. Burlington

Magic Hat Artifactory Bartlett Bay Rd. So. Burlington

Northern Lights Smoke Shop 75 Main Street Burlington

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Northern Lights

Burlington Subaru/Hyundai 333 & 351 Shelburne Rd. Burlington

SEVEN DAYS

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that take flora to new places. See calendar spotlight. Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. $3-15; free for children under 3; $30 weekend pass. Info, 888-518-6484.

film

‘An AffAir of the heArt’: Sylvia Caminer’s 2012 documentary examines the public persona and personal struggles of singer-songwriter, actor and author Rick Springfield. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 5:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. $4-8. Info, 748-2600. ClAssiC film night: Tom Blachly and Rick Winston facilitate conversation following the screening of Woody Allen’s 1985 fantasy starring Jeff Daniels and Mia Farrow. Jaquith Public Library, Marshfield, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 426-3581. ‘herbAl Aide’ & ChrysAlis tour: Herbalists Mary Blue and Eli Weaver present Kimberly Andrade’s documentary about their profession, followed by Weaver’s performance from her solo music project. Vermont Center for Integrative Herbalism, Montpelier, 6:30-8:30 p.m. $8-10. Info, 224-7100.

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2/12/13 10:35 AM

‘not fAde AwAy’: The music and counterculture of the 1960s serve as the narrative thread in David Chase’s drama about a group of suburban teens who form a rock band. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 5:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. $4-8. Info, 748-2600.

food & drink

Community ChurCh tAkeout dinner: Folks get good eats to go and pick up a meal of pork loin, gravy and all the fixings. Waterbury Center Community Church, 4-6 p.m. $9; preregister. Info, 244-8089. fish fry: Locals fill their plates with fried haddock, baked potato, coleslaw and dessert. St. Paul’s Catholic School, Barton, 5-7 p.m. $5.95-9.95; call for takeout. Info, 525-6578. lenten fish dinner: Neighbors gather for a shared meal of seafood, soup, salad and dessert. Children’s menu available. St. Augustine’s Catholic Church, Montpelier, 5-6:30 p.m. $6-10; free for ages 3 and under. Info, 793-4276.

games

SEVENDAYSVt.com

CAsino night & texAs hold ’em tournAment: Feeling lucky? Dealers preside over rounds of blackjack, craps, roulette and wheel of fortune. Proceeds benefit local food shelves and charities. Hampton Inn, Colchester, 7-11 p.m. $10 admission; $100 buy-in for tournament; preregistration starts at 6 p.m. Info, 658-4182.

health & fitness

Avoid fAlls with improved stAbility: A personal trainer demonstrates daily practices for seniors concerned about their balance. Pines Senior Living Community, South Burlington, 10 a.m. $5. Info, 658-7477.

02.27.13-03.06.13

herbAl reCipes for Cold & flu prevention: Herbalist Sage Zelkowitz demonstrates how to make tinctures, capsules and infusions to keep cold-weather ailments at bay. Hunger Mountain Coop, Montpelier, 5:30-7:30 p.m. $10-12; preregister. Info, 223-8000, ext. 202.

kids

ChAmp week: See WED.27, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Individual and Family Plans SEVEN DAYS

story wAlk: See WED.27, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. video CAmp: See WED.27, 1-2:30 p.m.

music

Atos trio: In “A Spring Morning,” the three rising chamber music stars interpret selected works by French composers Debussy, Boulanger and others. See calendar spotlight. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30-10 p.m. $15-25. Info, 863-5966.

Learn more.

52 CALENDAR

Visit us at DeltaDentalCoversMe.com

Josh grACin: The country singer and former “American Idol” star performs a solo show of popular singles, including his No. 1 hit, “Nothin’ to Lose.” Town Hall Theater, Middlebury, 7:30 p.m. $27. Info, 382-9222.

or call 1-888-910-5668 today! Academy of General Dentistry – “The Importance of Oral Health to Overall Health.” Available at www.agd.org/public/oralhealth. March 2011.

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outdoors

owl hoot hike: The Lake Champlain Land Trust hosts a nature walk for bird lovers of all ages, who listen for the distinct calls of these nocturnal predators. Niquette Bay State Park, Colchester, 5:30-7 p.m. Free; preregister. Info, 862-4150, ext. 4. winter doe CAmp: Women tap into the spirit of adventure during a weekend of outdoor-skill development and classes ranging from tai chi to gun safety. Hulbert Outdoor Center, Fairlee, March 1-3. $290 for all-inclusive weekend; see alohafoundation.org for details. Info, 333-3405.

sport

fridAy night ski & dine: Kids and adults work up an appetite on illuminated slopes. Lessons available for beginners. Cochran’s Ski Area, Richmond, 5-8 p.m. $5-10; $25 lesson. Info, 434-2479.

talks

nAturAlist Journeys series: Nature photographer Samuel Jaffe references his images of New England caterpillars in an illustrated lecture about the species. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-6206. thomAs denenberg: The Shelburne Museum director presents “Wyeth Vertigo: Extreme Perspectives in the Work of N.C., Andrew and Jamie Wyeth.” Faith United Methodist Church, South Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 864-3516.

theater

‘Anything goes’: The North Country Community Theatre’s annual teen production features Cole Proter’s tale about a motley crew of passengers aboard the S.S. American. Lebanon Opera House, N.Y., 7:30 p.m. $10-15. Info, 603-448-0400. ‘songs from frAnCe’: Jean-Jacques Psaute and the Déjà-Nous ensemble perform a spirited repertoire of popular tunes in the tradition of French cabaret. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 8 p.m. $10-12. Info, 863-5966. ‘the dining room’: See WED.27, 7:30 p.m. the peking ACrobAts: Live musicians accompany China’s top performers as they tumble, somersault and trick-cycle their way across the stage. See calendar spotlight. Paramount Theatre, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $29.50-36.50. Info, 775-0903.

words

book & bAke sAle: Homemade treats sustain bibliophiles as they leaf through bargain-priced publications. Grace Methodist Church, Essex Junction, 9 a.m.-noon. Free. Info, 878-8071. book sAle: See WED.27, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.

sAt.02 art

intro to oil pAinting workshop: Lydia Littwin presents techniques and strategies for working with the medium before guiding participants through their own creations. Davis Studio, Burlington, 10 a.m. noon. $24 includes materials. Info, 425-2700.

comedy

rusty dewees: See FRI.01, 8 p.m.

community

Chinese new yeAr CelebrAtion: Festive folks ring in the Year of the Snake with family-friendly activities. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Free.

dance

drAg bAll: Ladies of the Rainbow Cattle Company and the Goodwives lead over-the-top live entertainment at this benefit for the FreeRide Bicycle Co-op. Old Labor Hall, Barre, 8 p.m.-1 a.m. $10 suggested donation. Info, 229-5951.

FIND FUtURE DAtES + UPDAtES At SEVENDAYSVT.COM/EVENTS

OVERWEIGHT SUBJECTS WANTED etc.

IndIgo & Crystal gatherIngs: Life strategist Cornelia Ward gives participants spiritual guidance while leading them through self-care techniques and energy-healing basics. Spirit Dancer Books & Gifts, Burlington, 1:30-3:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 660-8060. Vermont Cares lIVe & sIlent auCtIon: Auctioneer Jamie Polli of GameshowsVT hosts this annual fundraiser for those affected by HIV/AIDS. The Essex Culinary Resort & Spa, 7-11 p.m. $30. Info, 863-2437, ext. 11. Vermont Flower show: See FRI.01, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

fairs & festivals

magIC hat mardI gras Parade: Revelers flock to this celebration of live music, brightly colored beads and elaborate floats. Festivities begin at noon on Church Street; the parade starts at 3 p.m. on Main Street. Proceeds benefit HOPE Works. See calendar spotlight. Various downtown locations, Burlington, noon-5 p.m. Free; see magichat.net for details. Info, 658-2739.

film

‘an aFFaIr oF the heart’: See FRI.01, 5:30-7:30 p.m. ‘not Fade away’: See FRI.01, 5:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. ‘tIPPIng PoInt’: Sigourney Weaver narrates Niobe Thompson and Tom Radford’s award-winning documentary about a Native community’s reaction to Canada’s tar sands. A discussion follows. Media Room 207, Community Center, Goddard College, Plainfield, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. tournées FrenCh FIlm FestIVal: A monthlong celebration of francophone cinema opens with Jean-Pierre Améris’ Les Emotifs Anonynes (Romantics Anonymous). French with English subtitles. Room 101, Cheray Science Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2835, lclerfeuille@smcvt.edu. ‘tuesday, aFter ChrIstmas’: Radu Muntean’s drama puts a life-changing twist on the holidays when a man must choose between his family and his mistress. Romanian with English subtitles. Dana Auditorium, Sunderland Language Center, Middlebury College, 3 p.m. & 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-3168.

food & drink

ChamP week: See WED.27, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Clay For FamIlIes: Parents and kids get creative with ceramics and make a pieces to be fired in the kiln. ArtisTree Community Arts Center & Gallery, Woodstock, 10 a.m.-noon. $20 per parent-child pair, $5 per additional family member; preregister. Info, 457-3500.

1/25/12 2:45 PM

georgIa PlaygrouP: Stories, songs and crafts offer an intermission to free play. Georgia Elementary & Middle School, St. Albans, 9-11 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426. read aCross amerICa day & dr. seuss’ BIrthday: Families celebrate the written word with activities and a reading of the iconic author’s The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins. Phoenix Books Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 448-3350.

L HEINT PAU Z

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read aCross amerICa day & dr. seuss’ BIrthday: essex: See above listing, Phoenix Books, Essex, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 872-1111. russIan story tIme: Children up to age 5 make new friends over tunes, crafts, stories and a puppet show in Russian. English translation is available. Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 878-4918. VIdeo CamP: See WED.27, 1-2:30 p.m.

music

‘darlIng’ ConCert: Chris Fenwick directs a cast of Broadway performers in selected songs and scenes from Ryan Scott Oliver and Brett Ryback’s musical loosely based on Peter Pan. Weston Playhouse, Weston, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 297-7364 . dartmouth symPhony orChestra: Anthony Princiotti conducts a performance of Beethoven’s Symphony no. 7 and Prokofiev’s Piano Concerto no. 3, which features soloist Cory Chang ‘13. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $5-29. Info, 603-646-2422 .

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dartmouth youth wInd ensemBle: Paul Finkelstein ‘13 conducts middle-school students in the culmination of a pilot program that pairs young musicians with Dartmouth College mentors. Top of the Hop, Hopkins Center, Hanover, N.H., 2 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422 . deBorah lIFton: Pianist Charis Dimaras accompanies the soprano in selections from Strauss and Rachmaninoff, along with an original composition by Middlebury faculty member Su Lian Tan. Concert Hall, Mahaney Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-3168 . rIPton CommunIty CoFFeehouse: Local performers warm up the microphone for folk trio We’re About 9. Ripton Community House, 7:30 p.m. $3-9; call ahead to register for open mic. Info, 388-9782.

downton aBBey dInner & etIquette talk: Fans of the popular PBS series travel back in time to the early 20th century and learn the proper way to serve and eat a formal meal. Governor’s House, Hyde Park, 7 p.m. $55; preregister. Info, 888-6888 .

sarah BlaCker: Guitarist Erik White, bassist Sean McLaughlin and drummer Shaysh accompany the singer-songwriter’s captivating folk-rock vocals. Brandon Music Café, 7 p.m. $15; $30 includes dinner package; preregister; BYOB. Info, 465-4071.

mIddleBury wInter Farmers market: Crafts, cheeses, breads, veggies and more vie for spots in shoppers’ totes. Mary Hogan Elementary School, Middlebury, 9:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Info, 247-4699, gildrienfarm@gmail.com.

summIt oF thIeVes: The Lyndonville-based band’s soulful ballads and funky beats enliven the final evening of the 20-30/2D-3D art exhibit. Chandler Gallery, Randolph, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 728-6464.

outdoors

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CALENDAR 53

Burke mountaIn sled-dog dash: Mush! In this friendly competition, teams of canines pull their owners over the snow — including those who swap sleds for cross-country skis. Kingdom Trails, East

SAT.02

SEVEN DAYS

roBert BlaIs & dIane hulIng: The acclaimed cellist and pianist join forces to perform selections from Schubert, Piazzolla and others. A masterclass precedes the concert at 3 p.m. Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, Plattsburgh, N.Y., 7:30 p.m. $5-20 suggested donation. Info, 221-4697.

rutland wInter Farmers market: More than 50 vendors sell local produce, cheese, homemade

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enosBurg Falls tumBle tIme: Kiddos bound around an open gym, burning off excess energy. Enosburg Falls Elementary School, 9-10 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426.

CaPItal CIty wInter Farmers market: Root veggies, honey, maple syrup and more change hands at an off-season celebration of locally grown food. Gymnasium, Vermont College of Fine Arts, Montpelier, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Free. Info, 223-2958, manager@montpelierfarmersmarket.com.

norwICh wInter Farmers market: Farmers offer produce, meats and maple syrup, which complement homemade baked goods and handcrafted items. Tracy Hall, Norwich, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Info, 384-7447.

If interested, please contact Dr. C. Lawrence Kien at David.Ebenstein@uvm.edu or 802-656-9093.

02.27.13-03.06.13

CaledonIa wInter Farmers market: Freshly baked goods, veggies, beef and maple syrup figure prominently in displays of “shop local” options. Welcome Center, St. Johnsbury, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Info, 592-3088.

kids

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BurlIngton wInter Farmers market: Farmers, artisans and producers offer fresh and prepared foods, crafts and more in a bustling indoor marketplace with live music, lunch seating and face painting. Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Free. Info, 310-5172, info@burlingtonfarmersmarket.org.

bread and other made-in-Vermont products at this indoor venue. Vermont Farmers Food Center, Rutland, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Free. Info, 779-1485.

calendar

PRESENTS

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Burke, 9 a.m. Free to attend; $5 for children’s event. Info, 626-7300 . Winter Doe Camp: See FRI.01.

seminars

atos trio FRIDAY, MARCH 1, 7:30 PM

UVM RECITAL HALL [ $25 adult ] [ $15 advance student ]

vCam aCCess orientation: Video-production hounds learn basic concepts and nomenclature at an overview of VCAM facilities, policies and procedures. VCAM Studio, Burlington, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Info, 651-9692.

FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 7:30 PM UVM RECITAL HALL [ $25 adult ] [ $15 advance student ]

sport

bolton after Dark: After the sun goes down, skiers and snowboarders explore Vermont’s most extensive night-skiing terrain and watch movies from Meathead Films. Bolton Valley Resort, 4-8 p.m. $19 lift tickets; $2 refreshments. Info, 434-6804.

THE LANE SERIES PIANO CONSORTIUM

SOLAS, Irish Music for St. Patrick’s Day. . . . . . . . . . . . 3/17 DONAL FOX, jazz/classical piano . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3/22 MINETTI QUARTET, with pianist Andreas Klein . . . . . . . . . 4/7

retro-Gear tour series: Skiers explore pristine terrain on vintage equipment — ideally with relevant fashion to match. A percentage of proceeds benefits the Vermont Ski and Snowboard Museum. Rikert Nordic Center, Ripton, 1 p.m. $10 plus trail pass; preregister. Info, 443-2744.

TICKETS/ARTIST INFO/EVENTS/BROCHURE:

talks

SEVENDAYSVt.com

H E R E ’ S W H AT ’ S C O M I N G U P :

UVM.EDU/LANESERIES 802.656.4455

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tyler st. Cyr: The education attorney explains student evaluations from a legal standpoint and offers advocacy strategies for parents. 299 College St., Burlington, 1:30-3 p.m. Free; preregister at ts@ tylerstcyr.net. Info, 578-9866.

theater

2/25/13 6:23 PM‘anythinG Goes’: See FRI.01, 7:30 p.m.

LOCAL

SEVEN DAYS

02.27.13-03.06.13

GenealoGy Workshop: Louis Izzo and Don LaCross demonstrate how to access information using the French Canadian ancestry website nosirigines.qc.ca. Vermont Genealogy Library, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester, 10:30 a.m.-noon. $5. Info, 238-5934.

praCtiCinG happiness Workshop: Happiness Paradigm founder Ginny Sassaman shares her expertise and provides strategies for achieving a sense of well-being. Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, noon-2 p.m. $10-12; preregister. Info, 223-8000, ext. 202.

piano

54 CALENDAR

avian rehab Workshop: physiCal examination & initial Care: Using bird specimens, participants learn how to properly diagnosis and treat conditions and injuries sustained by the feathered fliers. Vermont Institute of Natural Science, Quechee, 1-4 p.m. $24-30; preregister. Info, 359-5000, ext. 223.

intermeDiate exCel: Participants learn the advanced features of electronic spreadsheets with Ted Horton. Intro to Excel Workshop or program familiarity required. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-11:30 a.m. $3 suggested donation. Info, 865-7217.

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liSt Your EVENt for frEE At SEVENDAYSVT.COM/POSTEVENT

Say you saw it in...

‘the DininG room’: See WED.27, 7:30 p.m. the met: live in hD series: lake plaCiD: Jonas Kaufmann and Katarina Dalayman star in a broadcast production of Wagner’s final masterpiece, Parsifal. Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., noon. $12-18. Info, 518-523-2512. the met: live in hD series: miDDlebury: See above listing. Town Hall Theater, Middlebury, noon $10-24. Info, 382-9222. vermont assoCiation of theatres & theatre artists auDitions: VATTA holds tryouts and interviews at this annual statewide gathering of actors, students and theater personnel. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 9:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. $15-25; preregister; see theatrevermont.com for details. Info, 234-0292.

words

book & bake sale: See FRI.01, 8 a.m.-1 p.m. book sale: See WED.27, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. ‘off the paGe’: The Vermont Writers Co-op celebrates local literature with authors Susan Weiss and Max Shenk, who read from works-in-progress. North End Studio B, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 860-1034.

sun.03 bazaars

antiques market: Looking to bring the past into the present? Area shops and vendors offer early American furniture, jewelry, ephemera and more. Lake Morey Resort, Fairlee, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. $4. Info, 333-4809.

dance

balkan folk DanCinG: Louise Brill organizes people into lines and circles set to complex rhythms. No partner necessary. Burlington Dances, Chace Mill, Burlington, 4-7 p.m. $6 suggested donation. Info, 540-1020.

etc.

nan o’brien: The medium and intuitive counselor shares her gifts with audience members in a lighthearted atmosphere. Hampton Inn, Colchester, 1 p.m. $48-50; for ages 16 and up. Info, 863-5966. vermont floWer shoW: See FRI.01, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

fairs & festivals

psyChiC fair: Attendees discover different forms of energy work, including aura reading, dream analysis and vibration healing. Nature’s Mysteries Books & Beyond, Lyndonville, noon-4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 525-8842 .

film

‘an affair of the heart’: See FRI.01, 1:30 p.m. & 5:30 p.m. ‘mumia: lonG-DistanCe revolutionary’: Cornel West and Alice Walker appear in Stephen Vittoria’s documentary about journalist, social activist and death-row prisoner Mumia Abu-Jamal. A discussion follows. Haybarn Theatre, Goddard College, Plainfield, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. ‘not faDe aWay’: See FRI.01, 1:30 p.m., 5:30 p.m., 7:30 p.m.

food & drink

Community breakfast: The Ladies Auxiliary to the Veterans of Foreign Wars hosts a hearty start to the day for members and nonmembers alike. VFW Post, Essex Junction, 9-11 a.m. $3-6. Info, 878-0700.

health & fitness

liGht boDy spiritual meDitation Group: Cynthia Warwick Seiler facilitates sessions designed to attune the mind, body and soul. Rainbow Institute, Burlington, 11 a.m. Donations. Info, 671-4569. thrive Center of the Green mountains: yoGa sampler: Tiffany Sanborn leads guided stretching and breathing exercises to create strength and flexibility. Warm clothes, mat and blanket required. Gymnasium, Wallingford Elementary School, noon-2 p.m. $10-20; preregister. Info, 446-2499.

kids

Champ Week: See WED.27, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. viDeo Camp: See WED.27, 1-2:30 p.m.

language

up and jam. VFW Post, Hyde Park, noon-5 p.m. Donations. Info, 728-5188. robert blais & Diane hulinG: The acclaimed cellist and pianist join forces to perform selections from Schubert, Piazzolla and others. Congregational Church, Norwich, 3 p.m. Free ($5-20 suggested donation). Info, 221-4697.

outdoors

burke mountain sleD-DoG Dash: See SAT.02, 3 p.m. Winter Doe Camp: See FRI.01. Winter eColoGy Walk: Naturalist George Lisi explains the benefits of cold-weather adaptation as identified in the stalks of edible and medicinal plants seen along the way. Wisdom of the Herbs School, Woodbury, 2-3:30 p.m. $1-10; preregister. Info, 456-8122.

sport

aDult piCkup DoDGeball: Participants heave rubber-coated foam balls at opposing team members during weekly games. Robert Miller Community & Recreation Center, Burlington, 1-3 p.m. $5; for ages 15 and up; players under age 18 need parental permission. Info, 578-6081. fat ski-a-thon: Skis 70mm or wider help participants complete laps on the Summit Quad lift to benefit the High Fives Foundation, which returns athletes to sports after life-altering injuries. Sugarbush Resort, Warren, registration, 8-9 a.m.; ski, 9-3 a.m. Free to attend; lift ticket required; see highfivesfoundation.org for details. Info, 583-6300. Green mountain CurlinG Club: Players of all abilities sweep the ice every Sunday throughout the season. No special equipment is needed. Green Mountain Arena, Morrisville, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. $12 per game with membership; $16 per game otherwise. Info, 399-2816. Women’s piCkup soCCer: Quick-footed ladies of varying skill levels break a sweat while stringing together passes and making runs for the goal. Miller Community and Recreation Center, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. $3; for women ages 18 and up. Info, 864-0123.

talks

Jim Gorman: The archaeology buff presents evidence of stone structures indicating Celtic habitation of Vermont prior to Samuel de Champlain’s visit. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1-3 p.m. Free. Info, 863-3614.

theater

aCtinG/theater Workshop: Veteran performer Ethan Bowen teaches a series of intensive sessions that explore acting essentials and his “serious fun” technique. Spice Performing Arts Studio, Rochester, noon-3 p.m. $25. Info, 767-4903 . ‘anythinG Goes’: See FRI.01, 4 p.m. ‘the DininG room’: See WED.27, 2 p.m.

mon.04 activism

frenCh Conversation Group: DimanChes: Parlez-vous français? Speakers practice the tongue at a casual, drop-in chat. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 4-5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 540-0195.

trans oCCupy potluCk: Like-minded locals participate in a group meditation before discussing social change and spirituality over a shared meal. Center for Sustainable Practice, White River Junction, 6 p.m. Free; bring a dish to share. Info, 299-7555.

music

community

Cynthia huarD: The acclaimed chamber pianist performs selected works by Schumann and Bach. Concert Hall, Mahaney Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 443-3168. key WinDs trio: In the playfully titled “Romancing the Tone,” clarinetist Janine Scherline, oboist Janice Kyle and pianist David Carpenter perform works by Aram Khachaturian and others. Krinovitz Recital Hall, Hawkins Hall, SUNY Plattsburgh, N.Y., 2 p.m. Free. Info, 518-565-0145. northeast fiDDlers assoCiation meetinG: Lovers of this spirited art form gather to catch

reaDinG With frosty & frienDs therapy DoGs: Animal lovers bring a book and read to canines who comfort. Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Free; preregister for 10-minute individual sessions. Info, 878-4918.

fairs & festivals

montpelier enerGy fair: Locals learn how to reduce their carbon footprint through home weatherization, solar panels and more. National Life Building, Montpelier, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Free; see

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Fre eS

emi

February 28th at 6pm

nar s

Seed Starting Seminar Master Gardener Doug Smiddy will demonstrate how to start seeds indoors.

March 6th at 7pm

Equine Holistic Health Seminar Featuring Dr. Tanya Cubit and Dr. Emilie Beaupre

March 19th at 6:30pm

Raising Chicks Seminar Featuring Andrew Beal

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calendar

Gaining Financial Control of Your Divorce How do you know whether your divorce settlement will lead toward financial freedom or financial ruin down the road? Join us for a workshop on 3/5 or 4/2 at 5:30pm so we can show you how to help avoid some common financial mistakes people make during the divorce process. Jo Ann Thibault, CDFA™ 861–7988 | JoannThibault.com 354 Mountain View Drive, Colchester Jo Ann Thibault is a Registered Representative and Investment Adviser Representative and offers securities and investment advisory services solely by Equity Services, Inc., Member FINRA/ SIPC, 354 Mountain View Drive, Suite 200, Colchester, VT 05446. Tel: (802)864-6819. Registered Representatives of Equity Services, Inc. do not offer tax or legal advice. For advice concerning your own situation, please consult with your appropriate advisor. TC72211(0213)

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montpelierenergyfair.blogspot.com for details. Info, 595-1734.

film

‘An AffAir of the heArt’: See FRI.01, 5:30 p.m. iron-JAwed Angels: Hillary Swank, Margo Martindale and Angelica Huston star in Katja Von Garnier’s award-winning portrayal of the leading figures of the 1917 women’s suffrage movement. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600 . ‘not fAde AwAy’: See FRI.01, 5:30 p.m.

food & drink

legislAtive BreAkfAst: Community members start the day with a buffet-style meal and a meet-and-greet with governor Peter Shumlin. South Station Restaurant, Rutland, 7:30 a.m. $10; preregister at chamber@rutlandvermont.com. Info, 773-2747.

health & fitness

Avoid fAlls with improved stABility: See FRI.01, 10 a.m. herBAl ConsultAtions: Betzy Bancroft, Larken Bunce, Guido Masé and students from the Vermont Center for Integrative Herbalism evaluate individual constitutions and and health conditions. City Market, Burlington, 4-7 p.m. Free; preregister at info@vtherbcenter.org. Info, 861-9757.

kids

middleBury presChool story time: See THU.28, 10:30-11:15 a.m.

107 Church Street Burlington • 864-7146

musiC with rAphAel: See THU.28, 10:45 a.m.

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tue.05 dance

‘An evening with sol león & pAul lightfoot’: The duo performs three pieces by the Nederlands Dans Theater, including the award-winning Shoot the Moon, in a broadcast production. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6-18. Info, 748-2600. swing dAnCe prACtiCe session: Quick-footed participants get moving in different styles, such as the Lindy Hop, Charleston and Balboa. Indoor shoes required. Champlain Club, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $5. Info, 448-2930.

film

‘An AffAir of the heArt’: See FRI.01, 5:30 p.m. ‘hide’: Elori Kramer and Peter Coccoma’s documentary, made in collaboration with Migrant Justice, examines the lives of Central American migrant farm workers in Vermont’s dairy industry. A Q&A with the filmmakers follows. Haybarn Theatre, Goddard College, Plainfield, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. ‘high soCiety’: Love gets complicated in Charles Walters’ 1956 romantic comedy, which stars Grace Kelly as a privileged woman who must choose among three very different men. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600. ‘not fAde AwAy’: See FRI.01, 5:30 p.m.

health & fitness

music

reCorder-plAying group: Musicians produce early folk, baroque and swing-jazz melodies. New and potential players welcome. Presto Music Store, South Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-0030, info@prestomusic.net.

talks

WIN TIX!

BiogrAphy As history series: 19th-Century russiAn novelists: UVM professor Denise Youngblood discusses the influential works of Fyodor Dostoevsky. Faith United Methodist Church, South Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 864-3516.

video CAmp: See WED.27, 1-2:30 p.m.

BAsiC Computer skills: Community members enter the high-tech age and gain valuable knowledge. Tracy Hall, Norwich, 12:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3403.

via questions.

words

peACe & popCorn: Folks peruse the Peace and Justice Center’s video library and choose the evening’s film. Peace and Justice Center, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345, ext. 6.

seminars

and answer 2 tri Go to sevendaysvt.com

thomAs hAll: The Complementary and Alternative Medical Association of Vermont member facilitates conversation about proposed medical-insurance legislation for alternative and preventive care. South Burlington Community Library, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 999-1651.

stories with megAn: Preschoolers expand their imaginations through tales, songs and rhymes. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

sAmBAtuCAdA! open reheArsAl: New players are welcome to pitch in as Burlington’s samba street-percussion band sharpens its tunes. Experience and instruments are not required. 8 Space Studio Collective, Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-5017.

SEVEN DAYS 56 CALENDAR

shAke your sillies out: Tots swing and sway to music with children’s entertainer Derek Burkins. JCPenney Court, University Mall, South Burlington, 10:35 a.m. Free. Info, 863-1066, ext. 11. south hero plAygroup: Free play, crafting and snacks entertain children and their grown-up companions. South Hero Congregational Church, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426.

02.27.13-03.06.13

SEVENDAYSVt.com

PRESENTS

ru12? rAinBow reAding hour: LGBTQA families come together for stories and activities. Bent Northrop Memorial Library, Fairfield, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812, sam@ru12.org.

Creation of Israel: The Partition and Recognition Controversies of 1947-1948.” Hoehl Welcome Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2536.

‘CreAting sustAinABle & heAlthy Communities in A ChAnging ClimAte’: Professionals from Vermont’s Agency of Natural Resources, Sustainable Jobs Fund and Department of Health examine the impacts of global warming. An open discussion follows. Haybarn Theatre, Goddard College, Plainfield, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. mArk stoler: The UVM history professor presents “Secretary of State George C. Marshall and the

lAughter yogA: What’s so funny? Giggles burst out as gentle aerobic exercise and yogic breathing meet unconditional laughter to enhance physical, emotional and spiritual health and wellbeing. Miller Community and Recreation Center, Burlington, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 355-5129. living heAlthy with ChroniC Conditions: Participants learn various self-management skills to better deal with issues such as diabetes, arthritis and asthma. Altona Town Hall, N.Y., 1-3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 518-656-4620.

kids

middleBury pAJAmA story time: ‘hAppy BirthdAy, dr. seuss!’: Kiddos in PJs or Seussinspired costumes celebrate the iconic children’s author with his tales, as well as crafts and face painting. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 6-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4097. presChool story hour: Three- to 5-year-olds keep their hands busy with crafts at tale time. Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 878-4918. riChford plAygroup: Rug rats let their hair down for tales and activities. Cornerstone Bridges to Life Community Center, Richford, 10-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426. sCienCe & stories: BeACh treAsures: What do winter waves wash ashore? Little ones dig in the sand, then make crafts out of found objects. ECHO Lake Aquarium and Science Center/Leahy Center

liSt Your EVENt for frEE At SEVENDAYSVT.COM/POSTEVENT

for Lake Champlain, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free with admission, $9.50-12.50. Info, 877-324-6386. Video Camp: See WED.27, 1-2:30 p.m.

language

FrenCh ConVersation Group: Beginner-tointermediate French speakers brush up on their linguistics — en français. Halvorson’s Upstreet Café, Burlington, 4:30-6 p.m. Free. Info, 540-0195. pause-CaFé FrenCh ConVersation: Francophiles of all levels speak the country’s language at a dropin conversation. Mr. Crêpe, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 540-0195.

seminars

permaCulture Workshop: Yestermorrow instructor Mark Krawczyk discusses how the design principle can create independence from existing food, water and social systems. A Q&A follows. Media Room 207, Community Center, Goddard College, Plainfield, 3-4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. Winter-WildliFe traCkinG: Environmental educator John Jose teaches participants how to identify local mammals, beginning with plaster casts of their tracks. Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, 6:30-7:30 p.m. $10-12; preregister. Info, 223-8000, ext. 202.

talks

kirsten hoVinG: The professor of art and architecture identifies history, technology and human connection as seen in “Nature Transformed,” Edward Burtynsky’s photographs of Vermont quarries. Room 125. Mahaney Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-3168.

words

Cady/potter Writers CirCle: Literary enthusiasts improve their craft through “homework” assignments, journaling exercises, reading, sharing and occasional book discussions. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 10 a.m.-noon. Free. Info, 349-6970. madeleine kunin: Vermont’s former governor speaks about female empowerment as related to her book, The New Feminist Agenda: Defining the Next Revolution for Women, Work and Family. Stearns Performance Space, Johnson State College, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 635-1438.

Wed.06 comedy

FairField playGroup: Youngsters find entertainment in creative activities and snack time. Bent Northrop Memorial Library, Fairfield, 10-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426.

improV niGht: See WED.27, 8-10 p.m.

community

hiGhGate story hour: Gigglers and wigglers listen to age-appropriate lit. Highgate Public Library, 11:15 a.m. Free. Info, 868-3970.

Winooski Coalition For a saFe and peaCeFul Community: Neighbors and local businesses help create a thriving Onion City by weighing in on public-health and civic-engagement initiatives. O’Brien Community Center, Winooski, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-4565.

crafts

eVeninG knittinG CirCle: Needleworkers pull up a chair and get loopy with fellow crafters over dessert. Shelburne Farms, 7-9 p.m. $5; preregister. Info, 985-8686. make stuFF!: See WED.27, 6-9 p.m.

film

‘an aFFair oF the heart’: See FRI.01, 1:30 p.m. & 5:30 p.m. ‘not Fade aWay’: See FRI.01, 1:30 p.m. & 5:30 p.m.

food & drink

dinner & a moVie: Neighbors beat the winter blues with summertime cuisine and Rick Sebak’s ode to the great American road trip, Unusual Buildings and Other Roadside Stuff. Milton Historical Society, 6-9 p.m. Free; bring a dish to share. Info, 363-2598. mexiCan sloW Food: Half Pint Farm’s Mara Welton shares family recipes for the traditional soup posole and homemade tortillas. Sustainability Academy, Lawrence Barnes School, Burlington, 6-7:30 p.m. $5-10; preregister at citymarket.coop.

games

BurlinGton Go CluB: See WED.27, 7-9 p.m.

health & fitness

Guided meditation: See WED.27, 5:30-7 p.m. ‘80s Workout Wednesdays: See WED.27, 8-10 a.m.

kids

moVinG & GrooVinG With Christine: See WED.27, 11-11:30 a.m. riChFord pajama story time: Kids up to age 6 wear their jammies for evening tales. Arvin A. Brown Library, Richford, 4-5 p.m. Free. Info, 527-5426. st. alBans playGroup: See WED.27, 9-10:30 a.m. story time & playGroup: See WED.27, 10-11:30 a.m. youth media laB: See WED.27, 3:30-4:30 p.m.

seminars

spend smart series: See WED.27, 6-8 p.m. the heart oF the matter: perspeCtiVes & strateGies For treatinG anxiety: Acupuncturist Sarah VanHoy explains how elements of traditional Chinese medicine, brain science and medical anthropology can facilitate healing. Vermont Center for Integrative Herbalism, Montpelier, 6-8 p.m. $10-12; preregister. Info, 224-7100.

lisa maCFarlane: Early photographs of Native Americans illustrate the University of New Hampshire professor’s discussion of how stereotypical images contributed to cultural strife. St. Johnsbury Athenaeum, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 748-8291. lorilee sChoenBeCk: The naturopath details Vermont’s efforts to reform health care in “Bringing Complementary and Alternative Medicine to the Mainstream.” Media Room 207, Community Center, Goddard College, Plainfield, 3-4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. paul monod: How has the British monarchy survived the last 175 years? The Middlebury College history professor follows the royal family from Victoria to Elizabeth II for answers. Congregational Church, Norwich, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 649-1184. rosemary Gladstar: The acclaimed herbalist and author recounts the history of medicinal plant use in America, as well as its role in health care today. Goodrich Memorial Library, Newport, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 334-7902. sam GuarnaCCia & Cami daVis: The composer and visual artist, respectively, present artistic expression as a vehicle for individual and societal change. All Souls Interfaith Gathering, Shelburne, 4-5 p.m. Donations. Info, 985-0322 or 985-3819.

ColleGe niGht: See WED.27, noon-8 p.m.

Wild neiGhBors leCture series: Animaltracking expert Sue Morse details how global climate change affects regional ecosystems and the critters that call them home. Outdoor Gear Exchange, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 860-0190.

Green mountain taBle tennis CluB: See WED.27, 7-10 p.m.

theater

sport

niGht riders: See WED.27, 4:30-8 p.m. trapp nordiC Cup 2012-13: See WED.27, 9 a.m.4:30 p.m.

talks

‘raCe’: Maggie Mancinelli-Cahill directs a Northern Stage and Capital Repertory Theatre coproduction of David Mamet’s provocative tale of sex, guilt and cultural taboos. Contains sexually explicit language and adult situations. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7:30 p.m. $10-60. Info, 296-7000.

antonia losano: In “Victoria’s Secrets,” the Middlebury College professor reveals the darker side of the Victorian era’s propriety. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338.

words

deBBy BerGh: Albatrosses abound in the birder’s illustrated leture about her travels to Midway Atoll, the world’s largest seabird-breeding site. Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 878-4918.

Chris Bohjalian: See THU.28, Rutland Free Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 773-1860.

jay parini: The author references his own work in “Truth or Dare: Writing Historical Fiction,” which

BurlinGton Writers Workshop meetinG: See WED.27, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Cynthia huntinGton: Explorations of illness, addiction and abuse in selected readings from Heavenly Bodies reflect the poet’s gift for introspection. Bradford Public Library, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 222-4536. m

SEVENDAYSVt.com

enosBurG playGroup: Children and their adult caregivers immerse themselves in singing and other activities. American Legion, Enosburg Falls, 10-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 527-5426.

may’s World musiC & moVement: See WED.27, 10:30-11:15 a.m.

explores the genre’s evolution. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 878-6955.

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CLASS PHOTOS + MORE INFO ONLINE SEVENDAYSVT.COM/CLASSES

classes THE FOLLOWING CLASS LISTINGS ARE PAID ADVERTISEMENTS. ANNOUNCE YOUR CLASS FOR AS LITTLE AS $13.75/WEEK (INCLUDES SIX PHOTOS AND UNLIMITED DESCRIPTION ONLINE). SUBMIT YOUR CLASS AD AT SEVENDAYSVT.COM/POSTCLASS.

art ART & POTTERY IN MIDDLEBURY: Location: Middlebury Studio School, 1 Mill St., Middlebury. Middlebury Studio School, Barbara Nelson, 247-3702, ewaldewald@aol. com, middleburystudioschool. org. Adult pottery: Wed. Night Wheel, Wed. Night Hand Building. Mon. p.m. oils, Mon. a.m. acrylics. Tue. watercolors. Wed a.m. int. oils. ˜ u. silver jewelry, color workshop, digital photography. Kids pottery: Mon. & Wed. after-school wheel, ˜ u. hand building. Wed. Young Artist Studio, home school pottery & art, papier-mâché. PAINTING WORKSHOPS: Mar. 9, Eric Tobin; Apr. 6, Jane S. Morgan. Cost: $45/4-hr. class: 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Location: Community Center in Jericho, 329 Browns Trace, Jericho Center. Jericho Plein Air Festival, Jane Morgan, 8934447, jsmorgan@comcast.net. Instructor: Eric Tobin: Winter with Oils. Instructor: Lisa Forster: Beach Winter Landscape in Watercolor (class full). Instructor: Jane S. Morgan: Oils, Composition and Perspective.

58 CLASSES

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bodywork TAI CHI/QI GONG BODYWORK: Location: Bao Tak Fai Tai Chi Institute, Inc., 100 Church St, Burlington. Tai Chi Institute, Inc., Robert Boyd, 363-6890, baotakfai@gmail.com, ipfamilytaichi. org. Personalized training in the Asian arts of movement and energy cultivation. Emphasis on ﬂ exibility and core strength building using active and meditative tai chi and qi gong. Master Bob Boyd, 45-year martial arts teacher with 30 years of concentration in tai chi and qi gong. ipfamilytaichi.org. 363-6890.

burlington city arts

Call 865-7166 for info or register online at burlingtoncityarts.org. Teacher bios are also available online. USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO PROMOTE YOUR ARTWORK: Mar. 20, 6-8 p.m. Cost: $13/BCA members; $15/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center, 2nd fl oor, Burlington. 865-7166. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Etsy, Blogs and more! Social media is an easy, and often free, way to promote yourself as an artist. Join BCA’s marketing director, Eric Ford, and local business owner Torrey Valyou of New Duds Silkscreen Company for an introduction to the social media world. PHOTO: ADOBE LIGHTROOM 4: Mar. 27-May 1, 6-9 p.m., Weekly on Wed. Cost: $225/BCA members; $250/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center Digital Media Lab, Burlington. 865-7166. Upload, organize, edit and print your digital photographs in this comprehensive class using Adobe Photoshop Lightroom. Importing images, using RAW riles, organization, fi ne-tuning tone and contrast, color and white balance adjustments, and archival printing on our Epson 3880 printer will all be covered. Bring a Mac-compatible portable fl ash or hard drive with your images to the fi rst class. Prerequisite: Intro Film/Digital SLR Camera or equivalent experience. Instructor: Dan Lovell. PHOTO: DIGITAL WORKFLOW: Mar. 28-Apr. 2, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Weekly on ° u. Cost: $184.50/ BCA members; $205/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center Digital Media Lab, Burlington. 865-7166. Learn how to manage your digital fi les, edit your photographs and print. Uploading images into Adobe Bridge, Camera Raw and Photoshop editing tools such as color and white balance correction, layers, masks, sections, retouching will be covered, as well as color-managed printing on our large format Epson printer. No experience required. DESIGN: ADOBE INDESIGN CS6: Mar. 26-Apr. 30, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Cost: $184.50/BCA members;

$205/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center Digital Media Lab, Burlington. 865-7166. Learn the basics of Adobe InDesign, a program used for magazine and book layout, for designing text and for preparing digital and print publications. Students will explore a variety of software techniques and will create projects suited to their own interests. ˜ is class is suited for beginners who are interested in furthering their design software skills. Bring a Mac-compatible fl ash drive to the fi rst class. No experience necessary. Instructor: Diana Gonsalves. VIDEO: DIGITAL FILMMAKING: Mar. 25-Apr. 29, 6-9 p.m., Weekly on Mon. Cost: $225/BCA members; $250/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center Digital Media Lab, Burlington. 865-7166. Filmmaking is a cross-discipline art form involving aspects of photography, writing, composition, audio design, motion graphics and video and sound editing, and this course will touch on all disciplines. Access to a digital video camera is a plus but not required. ˜ is course is taught in partnership with Vermont Community Access Media (VCAM) in the South End of Burlington (vermontcam.org). Instructor: Bill Simmon. PAINTING: ABSTRACT: Weekly on Tue., Apr. 9-May 21, 6:30-9 p.m. No class Apr. 23. Cost: $162/ BCA members; $180/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center, 135 Church St., Burlington. 8657166. Students will be guided to explore the many exciting possibilities of abstract painting. Using the paint of their choice, students will be encouraged to experiment and try adding other mixed media as well. Bring in some ideas or reference materials to use as a starting place. BCA provides glass palettes, easels, painting trays and drying racks. Instructor: Lisa Jones. PAINTING: REALISM: Mar 28May. 16, 6-8:30 p.m., Weekly on ° u. Cost: $176/BCA members; $195/nonmembers. Location: BCA Center, 135 Church St., Burlington. 865-7166. Do you want your paintings to be so real they pop off the canvas? Classically trained realist painter Sheel Gardner Anand will present to artists of all levels a simple and logical approach to oil painting from life and photos. Learn the foundation to create a believable three-dimensional illusion on a two-dimensional surface. Beginners welcome. PHOTO: INTRO B&W DARKROOM: Mar 25-May. 13, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Cost: $193.50/BCA members; $215/ nonmembers. Location: BCA Center Community Darkroom, Burlington. 865-7166. Explore the analog darkroom! Learn how to properly expose black-andwhite fi lm, process fi lm into negatives, and make prints from those negatives. Cost includes a darkroom membership for outside-of-class printing and processing and all materials. Bring a manual 35mm fi lm camera to the fi rst class. No

experience necessary. Instructor: Rebecca Babbitt. PHOTO: MIXED LEVEL DARKROOM: Mar. 28-May 16, 6-9 p.m., Weekly on ° u. Cost: $247.50/BCA members; $275/ nonmembers. Location: BCA Center Community Darkroom, Burlington. 865-7166. Take your work to the next level in this eight-week class! Guided sessions to help you improve your printing and ﬁ lm processing techniques and discussion of the technical, aesthetic and conceptual aspects of your work will be included. Cost includes a darkroom membership for the duration of the class for outsideof-class printing and processing. Prerequisite: Intro to Black and White Film and the Darkroom or equivalent experience. Instructor: Mary Zompetti. PRINT INTRO TO PRINTMAKING: Weekly on Mon., Mar. 25-May 20, 6-8:30 p.m. No class Apr. 1. Cost: $198/BCA members; $220/nonmembers. Location: BCA Print Studio, 250 Main St., Burlington. 865-7166. Learn a whole platter of printing techniques to create unique prints. Explore and use a variety of layering techniques and have fun experimenting. Demonstrations on mono-type, intaglio, lino-printing, and silkscreening are included. Cost includes over 25 hours per week of open studio. Printing materials provided. Instructor: George Gonzalez.

dance community by learning salsa. Trained by world famous dancer Manuel Dos Santos, we teach you how to dance to the music and how to have a great time on the dance ﬂ oor! ˜ ere is no better time to start than now! LEARN TO DANCE W/ A PARTNER!: Cost: $50/4-wk. class. Location: Champlain Club, 20 Crowley St., Burlington. Lessons also avail. in St. Albans. First Step Dance, 598-6757, kevin@ﬁ rststepdance.com, FirstStepDance. com. Come alone, or come with friends, but come out and learn to dance! Beginning classes repeat each month, but intermediate classes vary from month to month. As with all of our programs, everyone is encouraged to attend, and no partner is necessary. WEST COAST SWING: Cost: $12. Location: Middlebury Fitness, 175 Wilson Rd., Middlebury/ Shelburne Town Hall. 558-1870, karencdance@comcast.net, vermontwestcoastswing.net. West Coast Swing is a freestyle form of dance. A smooth linear motion with a casual frame makes West Coast Swing unique and fun! It’s not ballroom a modern swing. No partner required, and beginners are welcome! Music is blues, pop, rock and funky, cool tunes. Visit website for schedule.

dance

LEARNING THE ART OF DREAMING: Mar. 17, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Classes will be held every other Sunday until complete. Cost: $250/fi ve classes; early registration $200. Location: Studio 108 Fitness, 1056 Mountain Rd., Stowe. Gathering of Butterfl ies Productions, Anthony Pauly Jr, 324-5769, anthony.pauly_jr@yahoo.com, gatheringofbutterfl ies.com. Dream symbolism and interpretation. Techniques to help remember dreams and to have more lucid dreams. Strategies to help those struggling with nightmares and repetitive dreams. Meditation techniques to put dreams to a positive use. Demonstration of ceremony to help facilitate sacred dreaming space. Register online by March 8 for reduced price.

ACCESS CLASSES IN HINESBURG AT CVU HIGH SCHOOL: 200 offerings for all ages w/ great instructors. Swing: 6 ° u. starting Mar. 7, 6:15-7:30 p.m.; ballroom 5 ° u. starting Mar. 7, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Cost: $65/class. Location: CVU High School, 10 min. from Exit 12, Hinesburg. 482-7194, access@cvuhs.org, cvuweb.cvuhs. org/access. Swing and jitterbug with Terry Bouricius. Terry makes learning swing fun. With a step-by-step approach, he gets everyone learning immediately. Pairs encouraged; singles welcome. Ballroom dance with Terry Bouricius. Learn the basics of waltz, rumba, fox trot, merengue and tango. Sign up for swing and ballroom and save $30 ($100 per person). DANCE STUDIO SALSALINA: Location: 266 Pine St., Burlington. Victoria, 598-1077, info@salsalina.com. Salsa classes, nightclub-style, on-one and on-two, group and private, four levels. Beginner walk-in classes, Wednesdays, 6 p.m. $13/person for one-hour class. No dance experience, partner or preregistration required, just the desire to have fun! Drop in any time and prepare for an enjoyable workout! DSANTOS VT SALSA: Mon. evenings: beginner class 7-8 p.m., intermediate 8:15-9:15 p.m. Cost: $10/1-hr. class. Location: Movement Studio, 180 Flynn Ave., Burlington. Tyler Crandall, 598-9204, crandalltyler@ hotmail.com, dsantosvt.com. Experience the fun and excitement of Burlington’s eclectic

dreams

drumming TAIKO, DJEMBE, CONGAS & BATA!: Location: Burlington Taiko Space, 208 Flynn Ave., suite 3-G, Burlington. Stuart Paton, 999-4255, spaton55@ gmail.com. Tuesday Taiko adult classes begin March 5 and April 30, 5:30-6:20 p.m. $72/6 weeks. Kids classes begin the same dates, 4:30-5:20 p.m. $60/6 weeks. Conga and Djembe classes start Feb. 8, 5 p.m. and 6 p.m., $15/class. Montpelier Conga class starts Feb. 7, 9:30-10:30 a.m. $60/4 weeks. Montpelier Djembe classes start Feb. 7, 7-8:30 p.m. $72/4 weeks. Call for locations.

empowerment ACCESS CLASSES IN HINESBURG AT CVU HIGH SCHOOL: 200 Offerings for all ages with great instructors. Senior discount. Location: CVU High School, 10 min. from Exit 12, Hinesburg. 482-7194, access@cvuhs.org, cvuweb.cvuhs.org/access. Home Exchange & Low-Cost Travel Workshop with Julia Blake. Two sections, Monday or Wednesday, 6:30-8 p.m. for two weeks. Start Mar. 4 or 6. Travel affordably. Learn the ins and outs and receive the resources you need. $35; limit 15 people per night. Materials included. INTRODUCTION TO JUNGIAN PERSONALITY TYPE: Mar. 23, 10 a.m.-noon. Cost: $45. Location: ° e Jungian Center, 55 Clover Ln., Waterbury. 244-7909. Learn the basics of the MyersBriggs Type Instrument in this workshop that expands the framework of personality type to provide a powerful tool for coaching, counseling and personal development. Led by Mark Hunziger, teacher and author. LIFE PURPOSE: IDENTIFYING YOURS AND TAKING ACTION: Mar. 16, 9-11 a.m. Cost: $35/ person. Location: ° e Jungian Center, 55 Clover Ln., Waterbury. 244-7909. Develop a clear Life Purpose statement, learn how to act on it and identify concrete steps to manifest it so as to make your life more fulﬁ lled and meaningful. Led by Cornelia Ward, consultant and teacher.

ﬁ nance CONSCIOUS PROSPERITY: JUNG ON MONEY: Mar. 21-Apr. 18, 7-9 p.m. Cost: $60/person. Location: ° e Jungian Center, 55 Clover Ln., Waterbury. 244-7909. Have any money worries? Does a “money complex” stymie your life? Learn how to enrich your life, literally and ﬁ guratively, in this course that brings a Jungian perspective to bear on the monetary side of life. Led by Sue Mehrtens, teacher and author.

ﬁ tness R.I.P.P.E.D.:Mon., 7 p.m.; Wed., 6 p.m.; Sat., 9 a.m. Cost: $10/1hr. class. Location: North End Studio A, 294 North Winooski

FITNESS

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What’s Good in

the ’Hood? Download BurlApp for the local lookup on Chittenden County’s... • Restaurants & Bars • Shopping • Arts & Entertainment • Attractions

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Ave., Burlington. Stephanie Shohet, 578-9243, steph. shohet@gmail.com, rippedplanet.com. ˜ is total-body, highintensity program combines Resistance, Intervals, Power, Plyometrics and Endurance in ways that are fun, safe, doable and effective. With driving, motivating music, participants jam through R.I.P.P.E.D. with smiles, determination and strength. No boredom here; for all levels, R.I.P.P.E.D. will challenge your levels of ﬁ tness and endurance!

ﬂ ynn arts

We focus on nutrient-rich foods, smoothies and juices. Tailored to your needs, this class is inspiring, supportive and rewarding. You’ll want to take before-and-after photos! Free guide for ﬁ rst time cleansers at innerhealthresources.com. Taught by Bryn Perkins, PA, CBS. TRANSGENDER HEALTH: Mar. 13, 6-9 p.m. $35 for VCIH members; $40 for nonmembers; preregistration required. Location: Vermont Center for Integrative Herbalism, 250 Main Street, suite 302, Montpelier. Vermont Center for Integrative Herbalism, 224-7100, info@ vtherbcenter.org, vtherbcenter. org. With Jacoby Ballard and Dori Midnight. Explore the use of herbs, nutrition and vitamins to support transgender health. Tailored to the needs and interests of participants, this workshop will cover surgery preparation and recovery, addressing the side effects of hormones and supporting a person’s mental health in a transphobic world.

ADULT ACTING SERIES: SCENE STUDY: Adults and teens: ˜ u., Mar. 7-Apr. 11, 5:45-7:15 1x1-FlynnPerfArts093009.indd 1 9/28/09 3:32:51 PM p.m. Cost: $110/6-wk. course. Location: Flynn Center for the Performing Arts, 153 Main St., RUSTIC FURNITURE MAKING: Burlington. 652-4500, fl ynnarts. Mar. 14-Apr. 11, 9 a.m.-noon, org. Work on paired scenes from Weekly on ˜ urs. Cost: $150/ a variety of genres, examinperson, plus material fee of $50. ing the depth of possibility Location: Helen Day Art Center, within text, story and character. Stowe. 253-8358, education@ Develop self-awareness, learn helenday.com, helenday.com. how to playfully experiment and Learn basic wood working, hone techniques for approachjoinery and fi nish techniques ing a script. All experience levels to produce a unique piece of welcome. Instructor: Kathryn rustic log furniture that you can Blume. take home. Students will use basic hand tools, including hand saws, electric drills and sanders. ˜ e course will cover sustainBASIC CONCEPTS IN able harvesting of logs, drying, LANDSCAPE DESIGN: Mar. 9, moisture content, project design, 9:30-11 a.m. Cost: $10/person. stock selection layout, joinery, Location: Gardener’s Supply, seat weaving and fi nish. Burlington. 660-3505. A stepby-step approach to planning your garden and landscape. Learn the fundamentals of INTERMEDIATE HERBAL design and planning in this PROGRAM: May. 5-Sep. 29, 9:30 seminar for gardeners of all skill a.m.-5 p.m., 2 Sun. monthly. levels. Cost: $1200/person; incl. all books & supplies. Location: Horsetail Herbs/Kelley Robie, 134 Manley Rd., Milton. Horsetail SPRING CLEANSE AND DETOX Herbs, Kelley Robie, 893CLASS: Apr. 1-May. 6, 6:30-8 0521, htherbs@comcast.net, p.m. Cost: $160/5 classes + horsetailherbs.org. Ten days materials. Location: Eastern through summer, formulating, View Integrative Medicine, 185 harvesting, & preparing plants Tilley Drive, South Burlington. for medicinal use. Will focus on Inner Health Resources, Bryn supporting body systems with Perkins, 735-1766, Bryn@ our formulations. Projects will InnerHealthResources.com, include advanced tinctures, InnerHealthResources.com. tonics, salves, soaps, glyceriMove into summer with new, tes, creams, butters, capsules, more empowered eating habits. oils, fl ower essences, syrups,

gardening

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helen day art center

herbs

health

aromatherapy, liniments, incense, chocolate and more. VSAC grant opportunities. WISDOM OF THE HERBS SCHOOL: Winter Ecology Walk w/ George Lisi, Sun., Mar. 3, 2-3:30 p.m., call to preregister, sliding scale $0-$10. Open house, Sat., Mar. 23, 1-3 p.m. at the Tulsi Tea Room, 34 Elm St., Montpelier. Now accepting applications for Wisdom EightMonth Certiﬁ cation Program, Apr. 20-21, May 18-19, Jun. 15-16, Jul. 13-14, Aug. 10-11, Sep. 7-8, Oct. 5-6 & Nov. 2-3. Tuition: $1750; nonrefundable deposit: $250; payment plan: $187.50/ mo. Applications for Wild Edibles spring term: Apr. 28, May 26, Jun. 23. Tuition: $300. VSAC nondegree grants avail. Location: Wisdom of the Herbs School, Woodbury. 456-8122, annie@wisdomoftheherbsschool. com, wisdomoftheherbsschool. com. Earth skills for changing times. Experiential programs embracing local wild edible and medicinal plants, food as ﬁ rst medicine, sustainable living skills, and the inner journey. Annie McCleary, director, and George Lisi, naturalist.

language ABSOLUEMENT! FRENCH/ ART CLASSES/CAMPS CHEZ WINGSPAN: Preschool FRART! starts Fri., Mar. 15. Spring session Adult Group French, Adv. Beg. & Int., starts Apr. 11. Youth Spring Break African Art/ Language Vaca Camp: Apr. 2226. Location: wingspan Studio, 4A Howard St, 3rd Fl, Burlington. wingspan Studio, Maggie Standley, 233-7676, maggiestandley@yahoo.com, wingspanpaintingstudio.com. French, art and more for preschoolers, youth and adults in a beautiful atelier! ˜ rough multiple learning modalities, you will cultivate conﬁ dence in a supportive, fun, beautiful space. Madame Maggie is a ﬂ uent French speaker, is an encouraging and patient instructor and has lived/worked in Paris, France, and Yaounde, Cameroon. Allons-y! LEARN SPANISH & OPEN NEW DOORS: Location: Spanish in Waterbury Center, Waterbury Ctr. Spanish in Waterbury Center, 585-1025, spanishparavos@gmail.com, spanishwaterburycenter.com. Connect with a new world. We provide highquality, affordable instruction in the Spanish language for adults, students and children. Travelers’ lesson package. Our sixth year. Personal instruction from a native speaker. Small classes, private instruction, student tutoring, AP. See our website for complete information or contact us for details.

martial arts AIKIDO: Adult introductory classes begin on Tue., Mar. 5 at 5:30 p.m. Location: Aikido of Champlain Valley, 257 Pine St. (across from Conant Metal & Light), Burlington. 951-8900, burlingtonaikido.org. ˜ is Japanese martial art is a great

method to get in shape and relieve stress. Classes for adults, teens and children. We also offer morning classes for new students. Study with Benjamin Pincus Sensei, 6th degree black belt and Vermont’s only fully certifi ed Aikido teacher. Visitors are always welcome. AIKIDO CLASSES: Location: Vermont Aikido, 274 N. Winooski Ave. (2nd fl oor), Burlington. Vermont Aikido, 862-9785, vermontaikido.org. Aikido trains body and spirit together, promoting physical fl exibility and strong center within fl owing movement, martial sensibility with compassionate presence, respect for others, and confi dence in oneself. Vermont Aikido invites you to explore this graceful martial art in a safe, supportive environment. VERMONT BRAZILIAN JIUJITSU: Mon.-Fri., 6-9 p.m., & Sat., 10 a.m. 1st class is free. Location: Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, 55 Leroy Rd., Williston. 660-4072, Julio@bjjusa.com, vermontbjj. com. Classes for men, women and children. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu enhances strength, fl exibility, balance, coordination and cardio-respiratory fi tness. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training builds and helps to instill courage and selfconfi dence. We offer a legitimate Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu martial arts program in a friendly, safe and positive environment. Accept no imitations. Learn from one of the world’s best, Julio “Foca” Fernandez, CBJJ and IBJJF certifi ed 6th Degree Black Belt, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu instructor under Carlson Gracie Sr., teaching in Vermont, born and raised in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil! A 5-time Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu National Featherweight Champion and 3-time Rio de Janeiro State Champion, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

massage ASIAN BODYWORK THERAPY PROGRAM: Weekly on Mon., Tue. Cost: $5000/500-hr. program. Location: Elements of Healing, 21 Essex Way, suite 109, Essex Jct. Elements of Healing, Scott Moylan, 288-8160, elementsofhealing@verizon.net, elementsofhealing.net. ˜ is program teaches two forms of massage, Amma and Shiatsu. We will explore Oriental medicine theory and diagnosis as well as the body’s meridian system, acupressure points, Yin Yang and 5-Element ˜ eory. Additionally, 100 hours of Western anatomy and physiology will be taught. VSAC nondegree grants are available. NCBTMB-assigned school. EXPLORATION OF MOVEMENT: Mar. 16-17, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Cost: $245 ($225 if paid by Mar. 4; call about risk-free introductory fee). Location: Touchstone Healing Arts , Burlington. Dianne Swafford, 734-1121, swaffordperson@hotmail.com, http://ortho-bionomy.org/SOBI/ DianneSwafford. Using ortho-bionomy, participants will learn to recognize and palpate patterns of joint and muscle movement in order to facilitate tension release

and increase range of motion. ˜ ese techniques help relieve tension in those stuck places in our body that keep our bodies from moving well (i.e., shoulder blades or pelvis that won’t move when someone is walking).

meditation BRAVERY AND DEATH AS WARRIOR PRACTICE: Fri., Mar. 1: 7-9 p.m.; Sat. & Sun., Mar. 2 & 3: 9:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Cost: $110/weekend class. Location: Burlington Shambhala Meditation Center, 187 South Winooski Ave., Burlington. Burlington Shambhala Center, Charlotte Brodie, 658-6795, charlottebrodie@comcast.net, burlington.shambhala.org. “A warrior is one who is brave.” ˜ is weekend retreat includes meditation practice and teachings on bravery. By contemplating the groundlessness of our lives √É?√Ç¬¢?? that they will end, and we don’t know how or when √É?√Ç¬¢?? we discover an invitation to practice awareness and discover the powerful reality of the present moment. Taught by Eric Spiegel. Acharya Eric Spiegel has worked extensively with the ill and dying and has had a decades-long career in ﬁ nance. INTRODUCTION TO ZEN: Sat., Feb. 23, 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Cost: $30/half-day workshop, limited-time price. Location: Vermont Zen Center, 480 ˜ omas Rd., Shelburne. Vermont Zen Center, 985-9746, ecross@ crosscontext.net, vermontzen. org. ˜ is workshop is conducted by an ordained Zen Buddhist teacher and focuses on the theory and meditation practices of Zen Buddhism. Preregistration required. Call for more info or register online. LEARN TO MEDITATE: Meditation instruction avail. Sun. mornings, 9 a.m.-noon, or by appt. Meditation sessions on Tue. & ˜ u., noon-1 p.m. and Mon.-˜ u., 6-7 p.m. ˜ e Shambhala Cafe meets the 1st Sat. of ea. mo. for meditation & discussions, 9 a.m.-noon. An Open House occurs every 3rd Fri. evening of ea. mo., 7-9 p.m., which incl. an intro to the center, a short dharma talk & socializing. Location: Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. 658-6795, burlingtonshambhalactr.org. ˜ rough the practice of sitting still and following your breath as it goes out and dissolves, you are connecting with your heart. By simply letting yourself be, as you are, you develop genuine sympathy toward yourself. ˜ e Burlington Shambhala Center offers meditation as a path to discovering gentleness and wisdom.

music THE BILL REED MUSICAL THEATRE SUMMER INTENSIVE: Jun. 23-29. Location: Bill Reed Voice Studio, 1967 Spear St., South Burlington. 862-7326, admin@theatricalsinger.com, http://billreedvoicestudio. com/the-studio/workshops/

summer-intensive.html. Join Bill Reed for a weeklong program focusing on acting technique, working on different voice qualities, anatomy of the vocal mechanism and vocal technique, style and musicality, physical expression, dancing for the stage, as well as college and professional audition prep. ˜ e week culminates in a student performance.

pregnancy IT’S CONCEIVABLE/FERTILITY: Ongoing. Location: Champlain Hypnosis, 1 Kennedy Drive, L8, S. Burlington. Champlain Hypnosis, 999-6444, champlainhypnosis@verizon.net, champlainhypnosis.com. Learn how to relieve hidden stress and boost your chance of conceiving through hypnosis. Hypnofertility supports the entire fertility process (naturally or medically assisted). Read recent studies which indicate that infertile women utilizing hypnosis techniques with IVF have double the conception rate as compared to IVF alone. Studies at champlainhypnosis.com.

relationships MEETING YOUR INNER PARTNER: Mar. 20-Apr. 10, 7-9 p.m., Weekly on Wed. Cost: $60/ person. Location: ˜ e Jungian Center, 55 Clover Ln., Waterbury. 244-7909. Discover the inner men and women living in your “inner city,” who deeply inﬂ uence your relationships and love life, in this workshop full of hands-on experiential material. Led by Sue Mehrtens, teacher and author.

shamanism TWO WORKSHOPS: INTRO & HEALER: Mar. 8-9, 7-5:30 p.m. Cost: $35/for 2-hr. intro & $100 for full day. Location: Shaman’s Flame Stowe Facility, 78 Cady Hill Road, Stowe. Shaman’s Flame, Peter Clark & Sarah Finlay, 253-7846, peterclark13@ gmail.com, shamansﬂ ame. com. Introduction to Shamanic

clASS photoS + morE iNfo oNliNE SEVENDAYSVT.COM/CLASSES

Journeying, March 8, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. connect to a deeper, expanded foundational universal intelligence through your spirit helper. advanced workshop: The Healer Within, March 9, 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Work in nonordinary reality to accelerate personal wholeness, health on all levels and empowered living.

tai chi Snake-Style tai Chi Chuan: Beginner classes Sat. mornings & Wed. evenings. Call to view a class. Location: Bao Tak Fai Tai Chi Institute, 100 Church St., Burlington. 864-7902, iptaichi. org. The Yang snake style is a dynamic tai chi method that mobilizes the spine while stretching and strengthening the core body

muscles. Practicing this ancient martial art increases strength, flexibility, vitality, peace of mind and martial skill. tai Qi eaSy with liz Geran: Mar. 9, 16, 23 & 30. Cost: $60/4 90-minute classes. Location: Burlington Dances Studio, 1 Mill St, suite 372 Chace Mill Building, Burlington. Jade Mountain Wellness, Liz Geran, 399-2102, jademtwellness@gmail.com, jademtwellness.com/classes. Join us for easy-to-learn, slow movements that relieve stress, improve balance, and promote heart health, immune health and mental focus. Tai Qi easy is appropriate for all ages and experience levels and is a simple and profound way to promote well-being. Taught by liz Geran, acupuncturist and herbalist. yanG-Style tai Chi: Wed., 5:30 p.m., Sat., 8:30 a.m. $16/ class, $60/mo., $160/3 mo. New 8-wk. beginners session starts Sat., Jan. 19, 10:30 a.m. $125/8 classes. Location: Vermont Tai Chi Academy & Healing Center, 180 Flynn Ave., Burlington. Immediate right turn after railroad tracks. Follow the curve, then turn right & go through the parking lot, passing Vermont Hardware. Turn left at the end of the brick building & you will find a Tai Chi sign on your left. 434-2960. Tai chi is a slow-moving martial art that combines deep breathing

and graceful movements to produce the valuable effects of relaxation, improved concentration, improved balance and ease in the symptoms of fibromyalgia. 735-5465 or 434-2960.

well-being reStorative yoGa/reiki/ aroma workShop: Location: Blissful Wellness Center, 48 Laurel Dr., Essex. 238-9540. March 3, 12:30-2 p.m. For more details, please visit blissfullwellness.biz.

yoga evolution yoGa: $14/class, $130/class card, $5-10/community classes. Location: Evolution Yoga, 20 Kilburn St., Burlington. 864-9642, evolutionvt.com. evolution Yoga offers a variety of classes in a supportive atmosphere: beginner, advanced, kids, babies, post- and prenatal, community classes, and workshops. Vinyasa, Kripalu, core, Breast cancer survivor and alignment classes. certified teachers, massage and PT, too. Join our yoga community and get to know the family you choose. hot yoGa BurlinGton: Get hot â€” 2-for-1 offer. 1-hr. classes on Mon., Tue. & Thur.: 5:30 p.m; Fri.: 5 p.m.; Sat.: 10:30 a.m. Cost: $14/1st 2 classes, multi-class cards avail. Location: North

End Studio B, 294 N Winooski Ave, Old North End, Burlington. 999-9963, hotyogaburlingtonvt. com. Hot Yoga Burlington offers creative, vinyasa-style yoga featuring practice in the Barkan Method Hot Yoga in a 95-degree studio accompanied by eclectic music. Try something different! plant Spirit yoGa year: 10 a.m.-4 p.m. ea. time (except overnights): Mar. 31, May. 11, Jun. 22 (overnight), Aug. 3, Sep. 21, Nov. 2, and Dec. 21 (overnight). Cost: $600/entire series; sorry, no drop-ins. Location: Dharma Door Retreat Center, Underhill, Underhill. Saprema Yoga, Lydia Russell, 229-6300, lydia.dragonfly@gmail.com, saprema-yoga.com. Join

herbalist, storyteller and yoga teacher lydia Russell-McDade on a journey to deepen your yoga and your connection to Nature. Over the course of a year, weâ€™ll meet seven times at a beautiful country retreat to delve deeply into the teachings of the plants through movement, meditation, myth and magic! trauma SenSitive yoGa SerieS: Weekly on Thu., Mar. 14-May 9, 6:30-7:45 p.m. No class Apr. 25. Cost: $125/series. Location: Vermont Center for Integrative Therapy, 364 Dorset St., suite 204, S. Burlington. 999-2703. life experiences of loss or trauma can result in feelings of anxiety, sadness, agitation and reactivity, as well as symptoms of PTsD. These experiences live in our bodies and can manifest in subtle or obvious difficulties. Yoga and mindfulness practices. No prior experience with yoga is necessary. Pre-screening is required prior to registration. m

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music

Nanobots and Nouns An interview with ˜ ey Might Be Giants’ John Linnell B Y DA N BOL L ES

SEVENDAYSVT.COM 02.27.13-03.06.13 SEVEN DAYS 62 MUSIC

SEVEN DAYS: What’s the story with Nanobots?

JOHN LINNELL: There are things about the record that … um, I don’t know. You know, I should really come up with a speciﬁ c answer to your question, because I’m going to be asked it over and over again: “What is so special about album number 16?” Unfortunately, I’m in the worst position to answer that. I’m very much inside the project. So from my perspective, we’ve just done our best one more time. I think the biggest challenge is just topping the last record that we did. So what’s di° erent? Well, there are a number of songs that are under 20 seconds. It’s not something completely unheard of in our work. We’ve done short songs in the past. But there are probably more of them than we’ve ever done bef ore. So yeah … what else? I’ll have to ask John Flansburgh what he says, because I still don’t have a really satisfying answer.

COURTESY OF DOMINIC NEITZ

hen Seven Days chatted with They Might Be Giants’ cof ounder John Linnell in early February, it was prior to the release of the band’s latest and 16th album, Nanobots. It was also prior to the ensuing press junket in which journalists from outlets large and small would all ask basically a variation on the same question: “What’s the story with the new record?” Not having had time to formulate a real answer — and not having had to give that answer ad nauseam — Linnell’s response was remarkably candid: “Um … I don’t know.” As it turns out, Nanobots is classic TMBG, loaded with the signature hooks and cleverly eccentric wordplay that f ans have come to adore over the band’s 31-year career. In advance of TMBG’s performance at the Higher Ground Ballroom this Thursday, here is that interview with Linnell, in which he dishes on the new record (sort of), technology, the perils of making kids’ albums and the indestructibility of Yamaha instruments.

they’ve ever heard and read it on that basis. But young kids don’t, they’re more openminded. But they’re also being introduced to all sorts of things f or the ﬁ rst time. So in that regard, it’s very di° erent. So it’s exciting for us to do some kind of psychedelic music and know that a particular kid listening to it might very well have never heard what we’re doing before.

SD: What have you learned doing kids’ records?

JL: Kids can be brutally critical in their own way. One thing is that they don’t particularly worry about the formality of the performance. It wouldn’t make a little kid nervous if the band stopped playing and nobody applauded. They are comf ortable with that. Whereas adults will applaud because it’s too weird not to … And that can be very nerve-racking.

˜ ey Might Be Giants

It’s actually not bass clarinet. It’s contraalto clarinet, which is even lower than the bass clarinet. I bought one right before we began recording. So naturally, I wanted to use it on every single song. I didn’t, but it is on a lot of them. Unf ortunately, I can’t play that and sing at the same time. So for the tour, I’ll be bringing out the bass clarinet, which is more roadworthy. It actually survived a ﬁ re we had at the end of the last tour.

SD: Really?

JL: Yeah. I should do testimonials for the Yamaha corporation. What happened was our trailer caught on ﬁ re on the last day of the tour and the driver did not notice there was smoke pouring out of the back. We lost a ton of gear and all of our merch. But somehow the bass clarinet survived … It’s impervious to destruction.

SD: You typically go into the studio with an overabundance of material. How do you decide what makes the album, and what do you do with the songs that end up on the cuttingroom ﬂ oor?

JL: We don’t throw anything away that’s valuable. We do have a lot of songs lef t SD: Um … there is a lot of bass clariover, and they will be appearing in one net? f orm or another. Sometimes songs just JL: There is! Thank you. Actually, you hang around f or an album cycle and get know what there is? I’m giving you a scoop. put on the next record. Aside from that, it’s

hard to make a statement about how we choose. I will say that, for this record, we had one or two songs that sounded similar. So we would tend to not want to put them together.

SD: Having written so many songs, I imagine it might be easy to repeat yourself after a while.

JL: Lyrically, that is a real hazard. There are some bands that have certain topics that they like. We tend to pick out certain nouns that we like. I think John says in one of the songs, “We are running out of nouns.” But we haven’t yet. And I don’t know if that’s really a serious concern. We can write a few songs with the same noun, but that doesn’t mean they are the same song.

SD: And there are only so many chords to choose from.

JL: There are a very ﬁ nite number of chords.

SD: Do you ﬁ nd a different type of satisfaction when you ﬁ nish a kids’ album versus an “adult” album?

JL: I think we feel a bit more responsibility to say something to people who aren’t already immersed in culture. There is a thing about adults, which is, they tend to think like rock critics. When they listen to a record, they compare it to everything else

SD: You have a new iPhone app that is the evolutionary cousin of your old Dial-a-Song phone line. ˛ e internet and new technologies can obviously be used for good, but also for evil. How do you navigate which is which?

JL: We don’t want to do something that is gratuitous in any f ormat. Just because there is this new technology and new market that’s opened up doesn’t mean you automatically create your own version of it. It can come o° as crass and can actually be crass. The thing that the iPhone app has turned into is pretty satisf ying, seeming like it deserves to exist. We were always receptive to the idea of making stu° more accessible. And Diala-Song was a great early application. We thought it was cool in an intuitive way to call up a phone and listen to a song. But it turned out to be a great way for people to experience us in a di° erent channel, from home. Bef ore the internet existed, that was an unusual way to experience something, circumventing the record store or the night club and just calling the band up and hearing a song. In a way, that’s now the normal way in which everybody gets their culture.

˜ ey Might be Giants play the Higher Ground Ballroom this ˜ ursday, February 28, 8 p.m. $23/25. 14+. Vandaveer open.

undbites

Got muSic NEwS? dan@sevendaysvt.com

www.highergroundmusic.com

b y Da n bo ll e S

Th 28

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

FEBRUARY Th 28

ELEPHANT REVIVAL MIKE & RUTHY

MARCH MAGIC HAT MARDI GRAS KICKOFF

Fr 1

REBIRTH BRASS BAND KAT WRIGHT & THE INDOMITABLE SOUL BAND Fr 1

Onionz

OK, it’s not quite as dramatic as all that. For starters, the “battle” portion of the showcase is meant to be the friendly variety. And the ultimate goal is to bring as many factions of the EDM community together to share the music they love. The next installment is this Sunday, March 3, at Club Metronome. The lineup features a mix of newbies and vets including CluB Mu, young Bloodz, triCky pat, nexus artist ManageMent, the harder they CoMe and Craig Mitchell.

Sa 2

AMY AARON HELM BAND FLINN

Su 3

MILO GREEN

Tu 5

MARY GAUTHIER SCOTT NOLAN

Th 7

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VERMONT COMEDY DIVAS JOSIE LEAVITT,

TRACIE SPENCER, AUTUMN ENGROFF SPENCER, CARMEN LAGALA Sa 9

A BENEFIT FOR THE BOYS & GIRLS CLUB OF BURLINGTON

THE ONE FASHION EVENT Su 10

DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS THE WHIGS

Mo 11

SOULFLY

INCITE, LODY KONG, HALF PAST HUMAN UPCOMING...

JUST ANNOUNCED

3/14 CIRCA SURVIVE 3/15 BALKAN BEAT BOX 3/15 START MAKING SENSE 3/16 KELLER WILLIAMS 3/20 FRESHLYGROUND 3/20 EXPENDABLES

3/23 ROBOTIC PIRATE MONKEY 3/28 GZA 4/4 BROWN BIRD 5/9 TWENTY ONE PILOTS 5/11 AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT 5/14 ANAIS MITCHELL

TICKETS

INFO 652.0777 | TIX 888.512.SHOW 1214 Williston Rd. | S. Burlington Growing Vermont, UVM Davis Center

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AMW, ASHY NUXX, MASTERMIND ENT, SUNCOOKED

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BiteTorrent Speaking of EDM, this Thursday, February 28, Nexus and 4Word produCtions roll out their annual preMardi Gras throwdown, Hoptronica M3, at Red Square. The multiroom showcase features headliner onionz, a globally renowned NYC-based DJ and producer whose voluminous catalog includes some 200 singles and remixes. But wait, there’s more. In addition to EDM from Ben BarloW and Justin r.e.M., giddy up!, roB tiCho and thelonious x, Hoptronica also features a mix of hip-hop, mashup and “UK funky n’ stuff” from Jay Baron, Chris pattison, Mashtodon, dante divinCi and darCie. Oh, and it’s free.

104.7 THE POINT WELCOMES

02.27.13-03.06.13

simultaneously. And in case you were wondering, yes, that marks the first time anyone in Burlington has ever complained about having too many options for things to do. (I’m kidding. But seriously…) Peterson continues by putting the scene’s growth into historical context, pointing out that crews such as Mushpost and eleCtrode cut their teeth by tagging along with the 2k deep crew, which was an outgrowth of Peterson’s long-running BassCaMp crew. We could keep going with the begats all day long. But the point is, in Peterson’s opinion, the continued splintering of new crews from old crews, coupled with the ease with which new DJs can get into the game due to technological advancements, means the scene is nearing critical mass. And that results in too many crews with too many ideas about how things should be done, “thus further dividing the small community we already have.” Rather than stand idly by moaning about the good old days — granted, his missive does have a certain “Get off my lawn, you dang kids!” charm — Peterson is doing something about the growing schism he perceives. Namely, a new monthly EDM series called Sundae Soundclash, which pits area DJs from different crews against each other in a Bloodsport-style battle to the death.

FIRST FRIDAY

PAMELA MEANS, DJ DISCO PHANTOM

SEVENDAYSVt.com

This just in: kids like the Electronic Dance Music. If you’ve been paying any sort of attention in recent years, you’re likely keenly aware of the rise of EDM, both nationally and here in Vermont. On the national stage, the success of folks such as skrillex and the inevitable co-opting of the genre by pop artists from Coldplay to Britney spears has seen EDM infiltrate the mainstream. Locally, the explosion in popularity of the genre and its many-splendored subdivisions has manifested in dance halls from the diminutive Halflounge to the comparatively palatial Higher Ground Ballroom to the audiophile’s nightmare that is Memorial Auditorium, catering to hardcore bass heads and teenyboppers alike with increasing regularity. In kind, the state is producing EDM DJs, producers and crews at a frantic pace. Especially in Burlington, there isn’t a single night of the week when fans can’t find some EDM relief, whether house, moombahton, dubstep, trap or whatever new subgenre was just invented while I was typing this sentence. (I know I said I’d retire that joke. But old habits die hard, OK?) On the surface, you’d think the success of EDM would be cause for celebration among the area’s veteran DJs and crews, validation for years of hard work promoting a scene within a scene. But, according to at least one such DJ, it seems the EDM community at large is experiencing growing pains. Walter peterson — aka dJ rekkon — has been a fixture in area DJ booths for close to 20 years. Much like Craig MitChell, he is viewed as something of a local guru, one of the elder statesmen of EDM in Vermont. He says that while the increased interest in dance music is a boon for some, it comes at a cost. Namely, division within the EDM community. In a recent email to Seven Days, Peterson writes that when he started going to raves 20 years ago, the widespread motto was PLUR: peace, love, unity, respect. He suggests that with “the popularity/exposure of this music has come a lack of unity.” How so? Glad you asked! Peterson suggests EDM’s popularity is too much of a good thing, citing the fact that on any given night you might have two or three events going on

CoUrTeSy of onIonz

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music

cLUB DAt ES NA: not avail aBl E. AA: all ag Es.

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burlington area

Club Met Rono Me: Jeff Bujak (iDm), 9 p.m., $5. FRanny o's: Karaoke, 9:30 p.m., Free. h al Flounge : s cott mangan (singer-songwriter), 9 p.m., Free. Rewind with DJ c raig mitchell (retro), 10 p.m., Free. Jp's pub : Karaoke with morgan, 10 p.m., Free. l eunig's bist Ro & Ca Fé: Paul Asbell, c lyde s tats and c hris Peterman (jazz), 7 p.m., Free. Manhattan pizza & pub : Open mic with Andy Lugo, 10 p.m., Free. neCta R's: What a Joke! c omedy Open mic (standup), 7 p.m., Free. Big s omething, Breakfast of s uperstars (groove), 9 p.m., Free/$5. 18+. on t ap baR & gRill : mitch & Friends (acoustic), 7 p.m., Free. RaDio bean : Andy Lugo (singer-songwriter), 6 p.m., Free. P.J. Pacifico (singer-songwriter), 7 p.m., Free. irish s essions, 9 p.m., Free. s avage Hen (metal), 11 p.m., Free. ReD squa Re: Wild man Blues (blues), 7 p.m., Free. DJ c re8 (hip-hop), 10 p.m., Free. skinny pan Cake : Josh Panda and Brett Lanier (rock), 7 p.m., $5-10 donation.

central

bagitos : Acoustic Blues Jam with the u sual s uspects, 6 p.m., Free. Cha Rlie o's: Wes Hamilton & Jesse Gile (rock), 8 p.m., Free. gReen Mountain t ave Rn: Open mic with John Lackard, 9 p.m., Free. skinny pan Cake : Jay Ekis (singer-songwriter), 7 p.m., $5-10 donation. Wha MMy baR: Open mic, 6:30 p.m., Free.

champlain valley

City l iMits : Karaoke with Let it Rock Entertainment, 9 p.m., Free. on the Rise bake Ry: Open Bluegrass s ession, 8 p.m., Free. tW o bRothe Rs t ave Rn: Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Free.

th U.28 // mik E & RUth Y [AmERicANA]

Beauty in Simplicity For the better part of a decade, Woodstock, N.Y.-based folk duo

Mike & Ruthy

have traded

in a strain of Americana rooted equally in folk and pop. Humble and intimate, it is quietly compelling stuff. Or, as the LA Weekly put it, the husband-and-wife duo writes “some of the best songwriting of their generation.” Catch them this Thursday, February 28, at the Higher Ground Showcase Lounge opening for elephant Revival .

northern

SEVENDAYSVt.com

bee's knees : Girls Night Out (folk), 7:30 p.m., Donations. t he h ub pizze Ria & pub : s eth Yacovone (solo acoustic blues), 7 p.m., Free. Moog's pla Ce: max Weaver (singer-songwriter), 8 p.m., Free. paRkeR pie Co. : Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Free.

regional

02.27.13-03.06.13

Monopole : Open mic, 8 p.m., Free.

thu .28

burlington area

Club Met Rono Me: Dr. Ruckus, Timbre c oup (funk), 9 p.m., $7.

SEVEN DAYS

Dob Rá t ea: Robert Resnik (folk), 7 p.m., Free. FRanny o's: Karaoke, 9 p.m., Free. h al Flounge : Josh Dobbs (singer-songwriter), 8 p.m., Free. DJs Atak & c on Yay (EDm), 10 p.m., Free. h ighe R gRoun D ball Roo M: They might Be Giants, Vandaveer (rock), 8 p.m., $23/25. AA. h ighe R gRoun D sho WCase l ounge : Elephant Revival, mike & Ruthy (Americana), 8 p.m., $12/14. AA.

64 music

l evity : s tandup c omedy Open mic (standup), 8:30 p.m., Free. Manhattan pizza & pub : Hot Wax with Justcaus & Penn West (hip-hop), 10 p.m., Free. neCta R's: Trivia mania with Top Hat Entertainment, 7 p.m., Free. mariami, DJ Dakota

(soul), 9 p.m., Free/$5. 18+.

p.m., Free.

o'bRien's iRish pub : DJ Dominic (hip-hop), 9:30 p.m., Free.

on the Rise bake Ry: Open irish s ession, 8 p.m., Free.

on t ap baR & gRill : mano malo (rock), 7 p.m., Free.

tW o bRothe Rs t ave Rn: DJ Dizzle (Top 40), 10 p.m., Free.

RaDio bean : Dave Fugel & Julian c hobot (jazz), 6 p.m., Donations. Aly Tadros (singer-songwriter), 7:30 p.m., Free. s hane Hardiman Trio with Geza c arr & Rob morse (jazz), 8:30 p.m., Free. Kat Wright & the indomitable s oul Band (soul), 11 p.m., $3.

northern

bee's knees : s lick martha's Hot c lub (gypsy jazz), 7:30 p.m., Donations.

Entertainment, 6 p.m., Free. Karaoke with s teve, 9 p.m., Free. Club Met Rono Me: No Diggity: Return to the ’90s (’90s dance party), 9 p.m., $5. h al Flounge : Bonjour-Hi (EDm), 10:30 p.m., Free. h ighe R gRoun D ball Roo M: Rebirth Brass Band, Kat Wright & the indomitable s oul Band (brass band), 8 p.m., $15/18. AA. h ighe R gRoun D sho WCase l ounge : First Friday with DJ Disco Phantom, Pamela means (singersongwriter, dance party), 8 p.m., $5/10. 18+.

ReD squa Re: Hoptronica m3 (EDm), 6 p.m., Free.

t he h ub pizze Ria & pub : Dinner Jazz with Fabian Rainville, 6:30 p.m., Free.

ReD squa Re blue Roo M: Hoptronica m3 (EDm), 6 p.m., Free. DJ c re8 (house), 10 p.m., Free.

Moog's pla Ce: After the Rodeo (bluegrass), 9 p.m., Free.

Rí Rá iRish pub : Acoustic Blame (acoustic rock), 9 p.m., Free.

paRkeR pie Co. : The Goodhues Family Band (folk), 7:30 p.m., Free.

signal kit Chen : lespecial (live EDm, funk), 9 p.m., $7.

regional

l iFt : Ladies Night, 9 p.m., Free/$3.

Monopole : Dynomatics (rock), 10 p.m., Free.

MaRRiott h aRbo R l ounge : Dan Liptak (jazz), 8:30 p.m., Free.

Monopole Do Wnstai Rs: Gary Peacock (singersongwriter), 10 p.m., Free.

Monkey h ouse : Prevenge, s pirit Animal, Wank for Peace (rock), 8:30 p.m., $5. 18+.

olive Ri Dley's : Karaoke, 6 p.m., Free.

MR. CRêpe: Art Herttua (jazz), 6:30 p.m., Free.

t heRapy : Therapy Thursdays with DJ NYc E (Top 40), 10:30 p.m., Free.

neCta R's: Happy Ending Fridays with Jay Burwick (solo acoustic), 5 p.m., Free. s eth Yacovone (solo acoustic blues), 7 p.m., Free. Blues for Breakfast (Grateful Dead tribute), 9 p.m., $5.

skinny pan Cake : Zack duPont (singersongwriter), 7 p.m., $5-10 donation. venue : Thirsty Thursdays, 7 p.m., Free.

central

bagitos : Good to Go (bluegrass), 6 p.m., Donations. gReen Mountain t ave Rn: Thirsty Thursday Karaoke, 9 p.m., Free.

champlain valley

51 Main : Dayve Huckett (jazz), 5 p.m., Free. c ooper & Lavoie (blues), 8 p.m., Free. City l iMits : Trivia with Top Hat Entertainment, 7

FRi.01

burlington area

august Fi Rst : Farm to Fist with DJ Thomas c ase, 6 p.m., Free. baCkstage pub : Trivia with made in the s hade

Jp's pub : s tarstruck Karaoke, 10 p.m., Free. l evity : All Lady Lineup with Tracie s pencer, melissa moran, Jenpearson and more (standup), 9 p.m., $8.

on t ap baR & gRill : Loose Association (rock), 5 p.m., Free. Phil Abair Band (rock), 9 p.m., Free. paRk pla Ce t ave Rn: Wolfpack (rock), 9:30 p.m., Free. RaDio bean : Kid's music with Linda "Tickle Belly" Bassick, 10:30 FRi.01 P.66

UNDbites

GOT MUSIC NEWS? DAN@SEVENDAYSVT.COM

MUSIC SERIES

CO NT I NU E D F RO M PAG E 6 3

Patty Larkin COURTESY OF MARIAMI

Speaking of Mardi Gras in Burlington … um, hey, it’s Mardi Gras! (In Burlington.) Always love to see Vermont expats come home, if only for a night. This Thursday, February 28, Georgia (the country)-born, Vermont-raised, and now Brooklyn-based R&B singer MARIAMI returns to the Green Mountains for a show at Nectar’s with VT UNION’s DJ DAKOTA. Mariami has been plugging away in the NYC circuit and garnering solid reviews for her sultry take on modern pop and R&B, including a wellreceived 2012 single, “I Cried.”

Drummer and marimbist JANE BOXALL (PANTY TOWN … er, STEADY BETTY) has left DOLL FIGHT!, citing the desire to focus on professional — read: paying — gigs. The astute among you may have figured out that means the local riot-grrrl punk trio is currently in the market for a

Friday, March 8 at 8:00 p.m. Town Hall Theater $20 advance, $22 at the door She redefines the boundaries of folk-urban pop music with her inventive guitar wizardry and uncompromising vocals and lyrics. P.O. Box 684 Middlebury, VT 05753 e-mail: aftdark@sover.net

(802) 388-0216

www.afterdarkmusicseries.com Tickets now on sale at: Main Street Stationery or by mail. 12v-aftdark020613.indd 1

1/30/13 5:15 PM

Seven Days 1/8th ad: 2.3 x 3.67 vertical 12.12 Mariami

new drummer. Sorry, dudes. No boys allowed — “mostly grrrl” just doesn’t have the same ring as “all grrrl.” But lady drummers with an itch to get their JOAN BONHAM on can contact the band via its website, dollfight.com. In related news, I’m told Doll Fight! does have a new record set for release in the near future, with Boxall on the skins. Stay tuned.

HEADS’ DAVID BYRNE will team up with

ST. VINCENT for a show at the Shelburne

Museum on Saturday, June 22, as part of the Ben & Jerry’s Concerts on the Green series. Tickets go on sale at highergroundmusic.com this Friday, March 1.

Last but not least, this week’s sign of impending spring: Announcements for summer concert series are beginning to trickle in. The latest is that TALKING

SEVEN DAYS MUSIC 65

The third season of Seven Days’ music podcast “Tour Date with DJ Llu” continues this Wednesday, February 27, when Llu sits down with MATT SANTOS from indie dance phenoms RA RA RIOT, who play the Higher Ground Ballroom on Friday, March 8. Llu and Santos chat about backlash from the band’s new record, MARK WAHLBERG and just what the hell to call their music. To listen in, check out 7d.blogs.com/ tour_date.

02.27.13-03.06.13

COURTESY OF DJ REKKON

This Week on “Tour Date with DJ Llu”

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

Local pop prince GREGORY DOUGLASS is undertaking a new venture that is part career counselor, part advice column. Drawing on his years of experience working as an independent artist, Douglass has launched a website called the Creative Advisor, where he advises — creatively — artists on how to navigate the increasingly complex music biz. His first column is entitled “Go the Fuck Back to School!” I’m kidding. Douglass’ advice, from tips for getting gigs to ways to manage clerical minutiae to simply going easier on yourself, can be helpful stuff. And given how much time he’s logged in the trenches, you couldn’t ask for a more seasoned mentor. Check it out at thecreativeadvisor.com.

DJ Rekkon

AFTER DARK

music

cLUB DAtES NA: not availaBlE. AA: all agEs.

cOurTEsY Of ALY TADrOs

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a.m., free. fiona Luray (singersongwriter), 7 p.m., free. Kim and chris (acoustic blues rock), 8 p.m., free. The moon and You (indie folk), 9 p.m., free. Tom Banjo's crank show (old time), 10 p.m., free. Gold Town (bluegrass), 11 p.m., free. fri.01

red squAre: DJ craig mitchell (house), 11 p.m., $5. ruben JAmes: DJ cre8 (hip-hop), 10:30 p.m., free. rí rá IrIsh Pub: supersounds DJ (Top 40), 10 p.m., free.

central

bAgITos: rebecca padula (singer-songwriter), 6 p.m., Donations. ChArlIe o's: Abby Jenne and the Enablers (rock), 10 p.m., free. green mounTAIn TAvern: DJ Jonny p (Top 40), 9 p.m., $2. loCAlfolk smokehouse: Bobby messano & friends (blues), 9:30 p.m., free. PosITIve PIe 2: first friday Dance party, 10 p.m., free. PurPle moon Pub: One man Green Band (rock), 8 p.m., free.

champlain valley

51 mAIn: Eight02 (jazz), 8 p.m., free. on The rIse bAkery: patrick fitzsimmons (singer-songwriter), 8 p.m., Donations.

ears — with a dusky croon that has drawn comparisons to those of Neko Case and Fiona SEVENDAYSVt.com

Apple. Tadros has both Egyptian and American lineage and has spent much of the last 10 years touring the globe. So it’s fitting that on her new album, The Fits, the songwriter melds a wealth of international influences into a serene, warming sound that NPR calls

02.27.13-03.06.13 SEVEN DAYS

neCTAr's: mardi Gras: Earphunk, shmeans & Expanded consciousness, Danny pease and the regulators, the Hornitz (funk), 7 p.m., $7. on TAP bAr & grIll: nightrain (rock), 9 p.m., free. rAdIo beAn: The peasant Dramatic (singer-songwriter), 12 p.m., free. Less Digital, more manual: record club, 3 p.m., free. sol & Kiel (singer-songwriter), 5:30 p.m., free. cities on the moon (alt-folk), 7:30 p.m., free. moonschein (blues), 8 p.m., free. mike sullivan & collin cope (blues), 9 p.m., free. seth Eames & miriam Bernardo (singer-songwriters), 10 p.m., free. Eames Brothers Band (mountain blues), 11 p.m., free. red squAre: DJ craig mitchell (house), 2 p.m., $5. DJ mario maric (EDm), 4 p.m., $5. Kat Wright & the indomitable soul Band (soul), 7:30 p.m., $5. mashtodon (mashup), 10 p.m., $5. red squAre blue room: DJ Llu (house), 12 p.m., $5. DJ crook$ (EDm), 2 p.m., $5. DJ robbie J (EDm), 6 p.m. DJs Atak & con Yay (EDm), 8 p.m., $5. DJ stavros (EDm), 11 p.m., $5.

sIgnAl kITChen: Hess is more (indie), 9 p.m., $8/10. 18+.

bee's knees: malicious Brothers (blues), 7:30 p.m., Donations.

skInny PAnCAke: moon and You (folk), 8 p.m., $5-10 donation.

mATTerhorn: Turkuaz (funk), 9 p.m., $7.

venue: 18 & up Destination saturdays, 8 p.m., free.

regional

TherAPy: pulse with DJ nyce (hip-hop), 10 p.m., $5.

central

bAgITos: irish sessions, 2 p.m., free. Zephyr (rock), 6 p.m., Donations. CAsTleroCk Pub: The Grift (rock), 9 p.m., free. ChArlIe o's: All request Dance party, 10 p.m., free. loCAlfolk smokehouse: Dan Boomhower (piano), 6 p.m., free. The Edd (jam), 9:30 p.m., free. slIde brook lodge & TAvern: Jimmy T. Thurston (rock), 9 p.m., free.

sAT.02

TuPelo musIC hAll: Bastinado, DJ shar4 (EDm), 9 p.m., $18.

bACksTAge Pub: nomad (rock), 9 p.m., free.

51 mAIn: mint Julep (jazz), 8 p.m., free.

burlington area

champlain valley

“delightfully wistful indie folk.” Touring in support of that record, Tadros plays Radio

ChurCh & mAIn resTAurAnT: night Vision (EDm), 9 p.m., free.

CITy lImITs: Dance party with DJ Earl (Top 40), 9 p.m., free.

Bean in Burlington this Thursday, February 28.

Club meTronome: retronome (’80s dance party), 10 p.m., $5.

nd's bAr & resTAurAnT : BandAnna (rock), 8:30 p.m., free.

frAnny o's: Karaoke, 9 p.m., free.

Two broThers TAvern: first saturday Karaoke, 10 p.m., free.

hAlflounge: DJ fattie B (hip-hop), 3:30 p.m., free. purple Drank (hip-hop), 6 p.m., free. DJ Disco

sun.03

» p.68

Flynn Center Just Added

Aaron Neville

Season Sponsor

Friday, May 24 at 8 pm, MainStage Tickets start at $25 Tickets on sale: Flynn Members - 2/22 66 music

mArrIoTT hArbor lounge: Dave Grippo (jazz), 8:30 p.m., free.

northern

monoPole: formula 5 (rock), 10 p.m., free.

Brooklyn’s Aly TAdros has been turning heads — and

JP's Pub: Karaoke with megan, 10 p.m., free.

rí rá IrIsh Pub: Trenchtown Oddities (rock), 11 a.m., free. The Bi-polar Bears (rock), 4 p.m., free. The Groove Junkies (rock), 10 p.m., free.

rImroCks mounTAIn TAvern: friday night frequencies with DJ rekkon (hip-hop), 10 p.m., free.

Fits and Starts

hIgher ground showCAse lounge: Amy Helm Band, Aaron flinn (rock), 8 p.m., $13/15. AA.

Two broThers TAvern: The Bumping Jones (rock), 10 p.m., $3.

moog's PlACe: The Burritos (rock), 9 p.m., free.

thU.28 // ALY tADroS [SiNgEr-SoNgwritEr]

phantom (mashup), 7:30 p.m., free. space Echo with Jahson, rob paine and WillYum (EDm), 10 p.m., free.

at 10 am, General Public - 2/28 at 10 am

Media

D Dress Circle applies

www.flynncenter.org or call 86-flynn today! 8h-flynn022013.indd 1

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2/25/13 12:25 PM

REVIEW this Bow Thayer and Perfect Trainwreck, Eden (SELF-RELEASED, CD, DIGITAL DOWNLOAD)

It feels like we’ve been predicting breakout success for Bow Thayer and Perfect Trainwreck for years. But for whatever reason — a fickle listening public, cosmic injustice, dubstep — those prognostications have yet to materialize. This paper and others went all in on the band’s 2010 full-length, Bottom of the Sky, as the record that would propel them to new heights. But we were wrong. The Vermont-based roots-rock band remains the province of dedicated local Americana fans but few listeners beyond New England. At the risk of repeating ourselves, we’re doubling down on Thayer’s latest, Eden, as the album that will finally push the Vermont-based songwriter and his band into a wider spotlight. But not for the reasons we used to cite. On his previous two efforts with

Trainwreck and numerous earlier records — whether solo or with groups such as the Benders or Elbow — we marveled at Thayer’s unique distillation of Americana and alt-country convention into something modern and new. A gifted banjo player, front man and songwriter, Thayer always seemed to push just the right buttons. With Eden, he continues that provocative bent, pushing his music into even more progressive territory. Bright, catchy and densely orchestrated, it’s a sound that should travel well on the festival circuit. But it may also alienate longtime fans who prefer their jams a little less, well, jammy. Invoking the “J” word — a fourletter word, in certain circles — is not

to say Eden suffers some egregious overabundance of indulgent musical wankery. On the contrary, even at their headiest, Thayer and Trainwreck present well-crafted flights of fancy rooted in typically potent songwriting. Laced with swirling organ, soaring horns and no shortage of effects-heavy electric banjo, the record’s aesthetic is closer to latter-day Allman Brothers or even, in moments, Widespread Panic than the dusty, Heartbreakers-esque tone of the band’s earlier albums. It’s simply a new direction, and one that could attract legions of new fans. Those expecting more of the same from Bow Thayer and Perfect 12v-SoVernet010913.indd Trainwreck are in for a surprise in Eden. But those with open minds and ears may be surprised by how much they’ll enjoy it. Eden by Bow Thayer and Perfect Trainwreck is available on Tuesday, March 5, at bowthayer.com.

1/2-PRICED 1

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DAN BOLLES

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perfect for Sunday dinner

Into the Bottle, The Goodnight Show (SELF-RELEASED, DIGITAL DOWNLOAD)

WEDNESDAYS: Honey-Oatmeal

another family favorite sandwich bread

THURSDAYS: Cinnamon-Raisin because you deserve the best cinnamon-raisin bread ever

FRIDAYS: Challah Every Friday is a Challah-day

SATURDAYS: Foccacia Assorted. A farmers’ market favorite *Limited time only

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MUSIC 67

AN INDEPENDENT ARTIST OR BAND MAKING MUSIC IN VT, SEND YOUR CD TO US! GET YOUR MUSIC REVIEWED: IFDANYOU’RE BOLLES C/O SEVEN DAYS, 255 SO. CHAMPLAIN ST. STE 5, BURLINGTON, VT 05401

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TUESDAYS: Potato Bread (new!)

02.27.13-03.06.13

creaking, “Quit my habits. / But she can still smell my cigarettes through the phone.” Hogan’s waltz-like “Trouble at Hand” continues in a similar vein, contrasting an almost breezy arrangement of acoustic guitars, keys and slide guitar against the songwriter’s searching prose. At moments, you can feel him grasping for understanding, only to see his crumbling emotions slip through his fingers. “You grew small, but you won’t fall. / Your balance is off, but your head makes the call,” he sings. Collectively, Into the Bottle don’t have much use for allegory, preferring instead a more direct, confessional approach. On “One Too Many,” penned by bassist John Tatelman, Hogan sings, “Fuck metaphors. / I’m tired and you’re bored. / And my heartache won’t

MONDAYS: Old Fashioned White the ultimate weekday sandwich bread

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

On their debut record, The Goodnight Show, Burlington’s Into the Bottle present a suite of boozy, late-night laments on lost love. It is a relentlessly downcast collection of whiskey-fueled, poetic songs that cuts to the heart of heartache and finds little room for optimism beneath the flickering glare of a barroom light. The record opens on “Six Silver Bullets.” As with much of the fare that follows, it’s a brooding, slow burn. Amid a haze of distorted guitar, guitarist and lead vocalist Luke Hogan sings in a weary croon — it’s almost more a croak, at times. From the outset, Into the Bottle craft a restless, bleary-eyed atmosphere. This pervasive sour mood rarely lets up, even in comparatively bright moments such as the following track, “Yellow Wallpaper,” written by drummer Rob Stahle. Here, Christopher McManus’ flitting keys and floating chimes somewhat lighten the feel. But there is Hogan, stuck in the middle, wallowing in angst and self-doubt,

be cured by a whore.” It’s blunt and abrasive, but compelling. The Goodnight Show closes with Hogan’s “Something for the Ends,” which offers the closest thing to assurance on the record. It’s a driving, bluesy tune in which Hogan almost seems to be addressing himself. “Well, it’s not that bad, down on your hands and knees. / And if the song sounds sad, that’s all you’ll ever be,” he advises. Here’s hoping he doesn’t spend much time listening to his own music. Into the Bottle’s debut is certainly a sullen affair, sometimes overwhelmingly so. But it’s also a fearless examination of the ways in which we hurt each other, even without meaning to, as though heartbreak is simply and inevitably collateral damage when in love. That’s a distressing idea. And it’s one Hogan and company explore with brutal, unflinching honesty. Into the bottle, indeed… The Goodnight Show by Into the Bottle is available at Pure Pop Records and Burlington Records, and online at intothebottle2.bandcamp.com.

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cOuRtEsY OF LEspEciaL

sat.02

northern

Bee's Knees: The Hubcats (blues-folk), 7:30 p.m., Donations. The huB pizzeria & puB: Karaoke, 9 p.m., Free.

radio Bean: Jacob Green (gypsy folk), 6 p.m., Free. talking Lake (americana), 7 p.m., Free. punk Rock Night, 11 p.m., Free.

Moog's place: The Woedoggies (blues), 9 p.m., Free. parKer pie co.: Bobby messano, Lake superior (blues), 8 p.m., $10.

red square: DJ cre8 (hip-hop), 10 p.m., Free.

regional

sKinny pancaKe: Josh panda and Brett Lanier (rock), 7 p.m., $5-10 donation.

Monopole: tim Herron corporation (rock), 10 p.m., Free.

burlington area

cluB MeTronoMe: sundae soundclash (EDm), 9 p.m., Free. halflounge: B-sides (deep house), 7 p.m., Free. pop Rap Dance party with tommy & Jory (hip-hop), 10 p.m., Free. higher ground showcase lounge: milo Greene (rock), 7:30 p.m., $5. aa. necTar's: mi Yard Reggae Night with Big Dog & Demus, 9 p.m., Free. on Tap Bar & grill: Zack dupont (singer-songwriter), 11 a.m., Free.

68 music

SEVEN DAYS

02.27.13-03.06.13

SEVENDAYSVt.com

radio Bean: Bohemian Blues Quartet (gypsy jazz), 11 a.m., Free. pete sutherland and tim stickle's Old time session, 1 p.m., Free. trio Gusto (gypsy jazz), 5 p.m., Free. tango sessions, 7 p.m., Free. cam Will (singer-songwriter), 9 p.m., Free. mushpost social club (downtempo), 10 p.m., Free.

central

thU.28 // LESpEciAL [fUNk, LiVE EDm]

Drum Line

BagiTos: acoustic Blues Jam with the usual suspects, 6 p.m., Free.

On their sophomore EP, Ceremony,

lespecial

blend an array of worldly percussive sounds,

from West African kalimba to Japanese shakuhachi, into a roiling, danceable stew. With a sound rooted in funk, jam and electronica, and flecked with hints of energetic global groove, the Connecticut-based trio is quickly becoming festival favorites. The band plays Signal Kitchen in Burlington on Thursday, February 28.

northern

Bee's Knees: Ed Loewenton & David Gibson (acoustic), 7:30 p.m., Donations. MaTTerhorn: chris tagatac (acoustic rock), 4 p.m., Free.

olde norThender: abby Jenne & the Enablers (rock), 9 p.m., Free.

Tue.05

halflounge: Family Night Open Jam, 10:30 p.m., Free.

central

Moog's place: seth Yacovone (solo acoustic blues), 8 p.m., Free.

cluB MeTronoMe: tour de Force: collzey & Rahaan admad (hip-hop), 9 p.m., $5.

on Tap Bar & grill: Open mic with Wylie, 7 p.m., Free.

necTar's: something With strings (bluegrass), 9 p.m., Free/$5. 18+.

northern

burlington area

necTar's: metal monday: indecent Exposure, Quantum mechanic, mass of Tharsis, Hollow colossus (metal), 9 p.m., Free/$5. 18+.

ruBen JaMes: Why Not monday? with Dakota (hip-hop), 10 p.m., Free.

charlie o's: trivia Night, 8 p.m., Free.

Mon.04

signal KiTchen: The Listening series: Wooden Dinosaur, maryse smith (indie folk), 8 p.m., $10. 18 +.

BagiTos: David Kraus and John LaRouche (Latin jazz), 11 a.m., Donations.

necTar's: What a Joke! comedy Open mic (standup), 7 p.m., Free. The Hornitz (funk), 9 p.m., Free/$5. 18+. on Tap Bar & grill: chad Hollister (acoustic rock), 7 p.m., Free.

MaTTerhorn: turkuaz (funk), 9 p.m., $7.

sun.03

ManhaTTan pizza & puB: Open mic with andy Lugo, 10 p.m., Free.

burlington area

cluB MeTronoMe: Dead set with cats under the stars (Grateful Dead tribute), 9 p.m., Free/$5. 18+.

radio Bean: West (experimental jazz), 7 p.m., Free. Open mic, 9 p.m., Free.

on Tap Bar & grill: trivia with top Hat Entertainment, 7 p.m., Free. radio Bean: Gua Gua (psychotropical), 6 p.m., Free. paper castles (indie), 8:30 p.m., Free. Honky-tonk sessions (honky-tonk), 10 p.m., $3.

Two BroThers Tavern: monster Hits Karaoke, 9 p.m., Free.

northern

Bee's Knees: Lake superior (garage blues), 7:30 p.m., Donations. Moog's place: Open mic/Jam Night, 8:30 p.m., Free.

ciTy liMiTs: Karaoke with Let it Rock Entertainment, 9 p.m., Free. on The rise BaKery: Open Blues session, 8 p.m., Free. Two BroThers Tavern: trivia Night, 7 p.m., Free.

northern

Bee's Knees: max Weaver (singer-songwriter), 7:30 p.m., Donations. The huB pizzeria & puB: seth Yacovone (solo acoustic blues), 7 p.m., Free.

cluB MeTronoMe: tim Brick (country), 8 p.m., $5/10. 18+.

parKer pie co.: trivia Night, 7 p.m., Free.

central

franny o's: Karaoke, 9:30 p.m., Free.

regional

burlington area

charlie o's: Karaoke, 10 p.m., Free.

halflounge: scott mangan (singer-songwriter), 9 p.m., Free. Rewind with DJ craig mitchell (retro), 10 p.m., Free.

MonTy's old BricK Tavern: Open mic, 6 p.m., Free.

whaMMy Bar: trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Free.

Jp's puB: Karaoke with morgan, 10 p.m., Free.

SPEEDERANDEARLS.COM

champlain valley

red square Blue rooM: DJ Frank Grymes (EDm), 11 p.m., Free.

BagiTos: smooth Jazz, 6 p.m., Donations.

Listen to the Tour Date podcast for the answer to this question: What was the name of RA RA Riot's tour van? To enter the drawing, visit the Tour Date blog and tell us the correct answer by noon on Monday, March 4: sevendaysvt.com/tourdate.

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2/5/13 4:53 PM

art Making Memories Gregg Blasdel, BCA Center

02.27.13-03.06.13 SEVEN DAYS 70 ART

destabilized in Blasdel’s hands. What remains is the trace of the f amiliar, much like a memory or a dream left for us to reconstruct. Several of the objects do retain geographical speciﬁ city, however: The steer horns and the hedge ball are indigenous to Kansas, according to the artist. Blasdel says that his impulse to mark time and place was also inspired by the work of artist Richard Artschwager — a series of pieces collectively titled “blps,” created during the late 1960s and early ’70s. While living in New York City during that time, Blasdel encountered Artschwager’s lozenge-shaped sculptures fashioned from horsehair and placed on various buildings and other sites throughout the city. Blasdel says the work was instrumental to shaping his own artistic vision, as he started “tying particular geographic spaces together and thinking about space and spatial considerations.” (Last fall, for an Artschwager retrospective, the “blps” were reinstalled in collaboration with the Whitney Museum of American Art in various locations around the High Line in New York City.) Although “Bounty” is embedded with subtle, interconnected ref erences to many of Blasdel’s geographic memories — wood f rom the Osage orange tree was commonly used for fence posts, for instance — the artist hopes viewers will “activate” the installation with their own memories and experiences. With its disparate parts alluding to an imagined whole, “Bounty” is a beautif ully constructed landscape of memory, time and lived experience. It is a generous, open-ended representation of Blasdel’s psychic geography.

REVIEW

THE IDIOSYNCRATIC COLLECTION INCLUDES A LARGE, OVAL STONE BLASDEL CAST YEARS AGO BUT NEVER USED;

PHOTOS: MATTHEW THORSEN

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

urlington artist Gregg Blasdel grew up in Belle Plaine, Kan. — near Wichita, he explains, ref erencing a more recognizable geographical point. Similarly, his enigmatic sculptural installation, “Bounty,” registers proximity and distance at once, marking time and place, thef amiliar and unfamiliar. Visitors to “Bounty,” located in the f ourth-ﬂ oor exhibition space of the BCA Center, encounter a dozen white, cast-plaster objects of various sizes a° xed to identical f ence posts about three f eet tall and also made of white cast plaster. Square steel plates support the individual f ence posts, creating a tightly arranged grid in the center of the room that makes it di° cult to move among the objects without disturbing them. The posts, unlike the objects, retain a material connection to their usual f unction: assuring our distance, prohibiting close contact. The idiosyncratic collection includes a large, oval stone Blasdel cast years ago but never used; steer horns; a fedora; ears cast after Michelangelo’s “David” and a hedge ball — the inedible f ruit of the Osage orange tree. All are ordered according to a taxonomy unique to the artist’s lif e experiences. Blasdel sees the objects as markers of speciﬁ c personal memories and interests, yet they allow that history to f unction as “a point of departure,” he says. He imagines the entire piece as a private puzzle that may not “mean anything to anyone else.” Blasdel, who was the BCA Center’s 2012 winner of the Barbara Smail Award, describes the intuitive process of collecting the objects over eight years as integral to the work. Marking time through the stages of collecting or making something is an ongoing interest of his. Blasdel cites Victorian hair wreaths as an example of objects that document time through their constructions. Victorian women in Europe and North America created elaborate wreaths f rom the hair of

STEER HORNS; A FEDORA; EARS CAST AFTER MICHELANGELO’S “DAVID” AND A HEDGE BALL.

f riends and relatives, both living and deceased, as objects of remembrance. Reﬂ ecting on the volume of things he has collected and will leave in the world, Blasdel appreciates the “ephemeral nature” of the materials with which he has chosen to work, he says in an interview at the gallery. He casts the objects in plaster, never in multiples, using rubber molds made f rom the objects. Many of these objects no longer exist. Blasdel leaves the physical

characteristics of the casting process visible; he resists polishing or removing the seams, ink stains and extruded plaster. The casts are the end result of a replication process emanating from a place that can’t be traced. “By casting [the object], I remove it from its system,” Blasdel says. He refers to what remains as “an authentic fake” or “false object.” Stripped of its natural color and context, the thingness of an object and what we know about it are

S U M R U T EK I N

“Bounty,” sculptural installation by Gregg Blasdel. BCA Center, Burlington. ˜ rough April 6. burlingtoncityarts.org

Art ShowS

talks & events First Friday art Walk: Galleries, shops and other venues around downtown stay open late to welcome pedestrian art viewers. Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m., Various downtown locations, Burlington. Info, 264-4839. aFter party: Need a place to go and unwind after First Friday Art Walk? This inaugural social event provides a segue to the rest of your night with a cash bar, live music by Montréal’s How Sad and Burlington’s Safari. Hosted by BCA and Seven Days. Friday, March 1, 8-10 p.m., BCA Center, Burlington. Info, 865-7165. dr. sketchy's anti-art school: Artists age 18 and up bring sketchbooks and pencils to a cabaret-style life-drawing session. Tuesday, March 5, 7:30-9:30 p.m., the Filling Station, White River Junction. 'UseFUl and elegant accomplishments': Landscape drawings by 19th-century Norwich University alumni and their contemporaries, many of whom were involved in the Civil War; '18611862: toWard a higher moral pUrpose': An exhibition exploring the experiences of Norwich University alumni who fought in the Civil War. Through June 30 at Sullivan Museum & History Center, Norwich University in Northfield. Talk: Vermont Historical Society curator Jacqueline Calder gives a presentation called “The Art of Vermonters John Henry Hopkins, Sr. and Jr.” Light lunch is provided. Wednesday, February 27, noon. Info, 485-2183.

'the hamilton test: on the rapport BetWeen painting and photography in pop art': Hal Foster, Princeton professor of art and archaeology, discusses how photography recharged painting, based on the work of artist Richard Hamilton. Wednesday, February 27, 5:30-7 p.m., Colburn Gallery, Burlington. Info, 656-2014. cameron visiting architect lectUre: James BUrde: The Vermont-based architect brings his international education and experience to bear in a talk titled "The Creative Process: A Few Case Studies." Thursday, February 28, 7-8 p.m., Johnson Memorial Building, Middlebury College. Info, 443-3168. heron dance Wild natUre art gallery opening: Nature artist Rod MacIver celebrates the opening of his new gallery with refreshments and live music by the Hardscrabble Hounds and Helen Hummel. Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m., Heron Dance Wild Nature Art Gallery, Winooski. Info, 238-3241.

receptions catherine hall: "Recycled/ Reborn," an exhibit of mixed-media works by the Burlington artist. March 1 through 31 at Vintage Inspired in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m. dave sellers: "Fundamentals of Design," an exhibit by the eclectic Warren architect. March 1 through 31 at ArtsRiot Gallery in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m. Info, 203-788-0909. elyse gentile: "Edgar's Prostitutes," mixed-media work on panels that explores the "dirty truth" about Degas' ballet dancers. February 28 through March 4 at McCarthy Arts Center Gallery, St.

ongoing burlington area

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sanam erFani: "Liberata," photography and mixed-media works expressing life's inspirations. March 1 through 31 at Green Bean Visual Art Gallery at Capitol Grounds in Montpelier. Reception: Saturday, March 2, 4-6 p.m. Info, curator@capitolgrounds.com.

second tUesday artists groUp exhiBit: Paintings by artist-friends Alex Bottinnelli, Liz Nelson, Maggie Neale, Kathy Stark and Ann Young. Through March 31 at Claire's Restaurant & Bar in Hardwick. Reception: Monday, March 4, 4-6 p.m. Info, 586-8078.

creative competition #17: Artworks submitted by local artists in a variety of media are up for viewers' choice award and for sale. March 1 through 31 at RL Photo in Burlington. Reception: $8 to enter, free to view and vote. Friday, March 1, 6-9 p.m. Info, publicartschool@ gmail.com.

stU hall & caleB Foster: "Snapping Snowflakes," images of the frozen stuff by two local photographers following in the footsteps of Snowflake Bentley. March 1 through April 30 at Mt. Mansfield Community Television in Richmond. Reception: Friday, March 1, 6-8 p.m. Info, 434-2550.

'stormy Weather': Heavy skies and ominous storms inspired the artworks in this group exhibit in multiple media. March 1 through 30 at S.P.A.C.E. Gallery in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-9 p.m. Info, 578-2512.

aBBy keller: Paintings by the 12v-thinkmoodtaste022713.indd 1 local artist. March 1 through 31 at Red Square in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m. Info, 318-2438.

'BUild a satellite': A propmaking party provides paint, papier-mâché and other materials in advance of launching a new artists-studio space. March 1 through 16 at Backspace Gallery in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-9 p.m. Info, 578-2512. Johanne dUrocher yordan: "Contemplation," acrylic paintings that represent change and evolution in the artist's life. March 1 through 31 at Studio 266 in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-9 p.m. 'large Works': Artworks that measure at least three feet in one direction. Through April 20 at Soda Plant in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-9 p.m. Info, 578-2512. chris stearns & galen cheney: Art photographs and colorful abstract paintings, respectively. March 2 through 31 in the Upstairs Gallery at West Branch Gallery & Sculpture Park in Stowe. Reception: Saturday, March 2, 4-6 p.m. Info, 253-8943. karol kaWiaka: Contemporary abstracted paintings. March 1 through 29 at SEABA Center in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m. Info, 859-9222. randi siU: "Amoroso! The Art Show," acrylic heart paintings by the Boston-area artist. Through February 28 at Galleria Fine Arte in Stowe. Closing reception, with staff

Call 656-9890, ext 2 or eating@uvm.edu For more information about the study, visit www.uvm.edu/~eating

2/22/13 4:15 PM

tWo rivers printmaking FacUlty shoW: Masterful prints by more than a dozen member and nonmember instructors. March 1 through April 30 at Two Rivers Printmaking Studio in White River Junction. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-7 p.m. Info, 295-5901. amBer devoss: "The Tempest Collection," brilliantly colored abstract paintings by the Vermont artist. March 1 through 31 at Fletcher Free Library in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m. Info, 865-7211. 17th annUal creative reUse shoWcase: Area high school students show what clever artwork can be fashioned from trash in this yearly exhibit, in conjunction with the Chittenden Solid Waste District. March 1 through 28 at Frog Hollow in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-8 p.m. Info, 863-6458. memBers' shoW: "Vermont Scapes," works in a variety of media that reflect the beauty of Vermont. March 1 through April 30 at Brandon Artists Guild. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-7 p.m. Info, 247-4956. 'light snoW': Metal sculpture by Bruce R. MacDonald, woodcuts by George Peterson and kinetic, floating clouds by Gordon Auchincloss. March 1 through 31 at Havoc Gallery in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5:50-7:30 p.m. Info, 800-639-1868.

eric Fitzgerald: Art Affair by Shearer presents landscape photography by the Vermont artist. Through March 31 at Shearer Chevrolet in South Burlington. Info, 658-1111.

'Folio 2003 proJect': Handmade folios containing the original work of 22 of Vermont’s finest artists. Curated by SEABA. Through February 28 at Speeder & Earl's (Pine Street) in Burlington. Info, 658-6016.

FacUlty and staFF 2013 art exhiBit: Artworks in a variety of media by 21 members of the UVM art department. Through February 28 at Colburn Gallery in Burlington. Info, 656-2014.

'FUn-a-day art shoW': Work by more than 80 Vermonters who spent the month of Januray engaging in daily art making. Through February 28 at New Moon Café in Burlington. Info, 383-1505. ONGOING

» P.72

ART 71

'color story': Photographs that use color to characterize, describe, communicate and celebrate. Through March 3 at Darkroom Gallery in Essex Junction. Info, 777-3686.

emerging artists shoW: This group exhibit features works in a variety of media by 14 local artists. March 1 through 30 at Davis Studio in Burlington. Reception: Friday, March 1, 5-9 p.m.

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SEVEN DAYS

'print and process': A behindthe-scenes look at prints by artist members. Through March 6 at Two Rivers Printmaking Studio in White River Junction. Talks: Rachel Gross demonstrates soft-ground etching.

marBle mardi gras: An evening of cocktails, dinner, silent and live auctions and dancing, with music by On the Rocks. Proceeds support the Carving Studio and Sculpture Center's arts education programs. Saturday, March 2, 5:30-10 p.m., Rutland Country Club. Info, 438-2097.

JUdith tUttle & roBert hUntoon: "Waterscapes," pastel and oil paintings, respectively, by the Vermont artists. March 1 through May 30 at Shelburne Vineyard. Reception: Sunday, March 3, 2-4 p.m. Info, 985-8222.

from Art New England. Ten percent of sales donated to American Heart Association VT. Thursday, February 28, 5-7 p.m. Info, 253-7696.

02.27.13-03.06.13

'Finding a missing saint in 15th-centUry BrUges': History professor Paul Monod discusses the mysterious identity of the bearded monk in the museum's early-Renaissance panel painting. Thursday, February 28, 4:30 p.m., Mahaney Center for the Arts, Middlebury College. Info, 443-3168.

hands art exhiBit: Dozens of wooden hands decorated by artists from 8 to 80. At Penny Cluse Café in Burlington. Event: A silent auction of the artwork benefits HANDS (Helping and Nurturing Diverse Seniors), which works to get food to older Vermonters. Friday, March 1, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Info, handsvt.org.

Michael's College in Colchester. Reception: Friday, March 1, 4-6 p.m. Info, 654-2000.

SEVENDAYSVt.com

'the mysterioUs mind': Paintings and sculptures by Nina Benedetto, Joan Curtis, Thomas McGraw, Mareva Millarc and Fran Bull that aim to reflect the subconscious through the insights of Jungian psychology. Through March 24 at Vermont Institute of Contemporary Arts in Chester. Talk: Michael Conforti gives a gallery talk. Friday, March 1, 7 p.m. Info, 875-1018.

Wednesday, February 27, 11 a.m.noon; Sheryl Trainor demonstrates collagraphy. Saturday, March 2, 11 a.m.-noon; Sheri Hancock-Tomek demonstrates solarplate printing. Wednesday, March 6, 11 a.m.-noon. Info, 295-5901.

Do you experience frequent episodes of

art ongoing

« p.71

Gabrielle Tsounis: "Tzigane," oil and acrylic paintings inspired by the artist's world travels. Through April 1 at Vintage Jewelers in Burlington. info, 862-2233. Galen Cheney; "Via della Spada," oil and enamel on three panels, Escalator; Kevin ruelle: Vintagelooking Vermont posters, gates 1-8; and Tod GunTer : Aviation-themed illustrations, Skyway. Through February 28 at Burlington Airport. info, 865-7166. Group exhibiT: photography by Jaques Burke and Kristen Watson; paintings by Marie Lapre grabon and Leslie McCool; mixed-media work by Maria Anghelache and Alan Arnold; collage work by Elizabeth nelson and Erika Lawlor Schmidt; and sculpture by Janet Van Fleet. Through April 30 at Maltex Building in Burlington. info, 865-7166. Group show: Works by Marc Awodey, Carolyn Enz Hack, paige Berg Rizvi, Ruth Hamilton, Will patlove, Che Schreiner and W. David powell. Curated by SEABA. March 1 through May 31 at the innovation Center of Vermont in Burlington. info, 859-9222. hal MayforTh: "Subversive in His own Little Way," watercolors, abstract acrylics, word paintings, grid paintings and humorous paintings that originated in the artist's sketchbooks. Through May 11 at Amy E. Tarrant gallery, Flynn Center, in Burlington. info, 652-4510. 'hiGh Trash': Artworks from 18 contemporary artists using discarded materials address themes of waste, environment and consumerism in the age of climate change. Through May 24 at Fleming Museum, UVM, in Burlington. info, 656-0750. J.b. woods: paintings by the Vermont artist. Through February 28 at Red Square in Burlington. info, 318-2438. JaniCe Kiriya: "My imagination," drawings by the Vermont artist. Through March 1 at Turning point Center in Burlington. info, 802825-6056. Jill Madden: "northern Landscapes," oil paintings inspired by the local woods, water, snow and mountains. Through April 27 at Left Bank Home & garden in Burlington. info, 862-1001.

Johanne duroCher yordan: Dreamy abstract paintings by the Vermont artist. Curated by SEABA. March 1 through May 31 at VCAM Studio in Burlington. info, 859-9222.

liza Cowan: "Saki: pug for Fun," photographs of the artist's dogs. Through March 31 at Artspace 106 at the Men's Room in Burlington. info, 864-2088. MarK boedGes: An exhibit of new winter landscape paintings by the Vermont artist also includes scenes of other seasons. Through March 31 at Mark Boedges Fine Art gallery in Burlington. info, 735-7317. niCholas heiliG: Work by the Burlington artist. Curated by SEABA. Through February 28 at VCAM Studio in Burlington. info, 859-9222. niCholas Taylor: "Jean-Michel Basquiat: An intimate portrait," photographs of the artist at 19 taken by his friend and fellow frequenter of Manhattan's famed Mudd Club. The exhibit is on loan from niagara University's Castellani Art Museum. Through March 30 at Bailey/Howe Library, UVM, in Burlington. info, 656-3294. norThern verMonT arTs assoCiaTion: Work by artist members.Through March 2 at Fletcher Free Library in Burlington. info, 865-7211. 'oCeaniC arT and The perforManCe of life': intricately crafted objects, including masks, textiles and weaponry, from indigenous cultures of the pacific islands. Through May 24 at Fleming Museum, UVM, in Burlington. info, 656-0750. philip haGopian: paintings by the Vermont artist. Through March 1 at The gallery at Burlington College. info, 923-2335. Quinn delahanTy: Sculptural paintings that the artist infuses with a sense of beauty and discomfort. Through March 1 at Magic Hat Brewing Company in South Burlington. info, 658-2739. roGer ColeMan: "Take outs From the Hungry ghost Series," paintings inspired by the creatures in Chinese mythology driven by intense emotional needs. Through February 28 at the Firebird Café in Essex Junction. info, 658-1081. 'seaT's TaKen': An exhibition that aims to examine human interaction, question the way we navigate the world, and challenge our reactions to the unfamiliar, uncomfortable and different; GreGG blasdel: "Bounty," a sculptural installation by the recipient of the 10th annual Barbara Smail Award. Through April 6 at BCA Center in Burlington. info, 865-7166.

CMY

and you wonder, What the heck were they thinking? Vermont artist Drew Peberdy is right there with you. With a punchy graphic style, his work investigates these bad films and explores the “what ifs” that could have saved them. Peberdy’s exhibit “Cheap Thrills” will be on display at the Main Street Museum in White River Junction through March 13.

March 1, 2, & 3, 2013

Champlain Valley exposition • essex JunCtion, Vermont

• FREE seminars, Workshops and cooking demonstrations • More than 90 vendors related to Gardening, Landscaping, composting and more! • Family Activity Room & daily Entertainment

SEVEN DAYS

sometimes films are just plain awful. In that moment when spectator becomes critic

Vermont Flower Show

Drew Peberdy Not all that glitters is gold in the movie business — and

The Road Not Taken

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Joan MCKenzie: Whimsical acrylic paintings of animals, in the Kolvoord Room. Through February 28 at Brownell Library in Essex Junction. info, 879-1131.

Jonas powell & ryan peden-spear: powell's photography of Chittenden County landmarks, food and culture; peden-Spear's mixed-media works that explore perception and the merging of organic and machine. Through February 28 at Davis Studio gallery in Burlington. info, 425-2700.

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presenting sponsors

72 ART

Purchase tickets in advance at Gardener’s Supply Company stores, all Price Chopper stores or, www.greenworksvermont.org

Grand Garden Display: Filled with the sights, smells, and sounds of Springtime! A less-traveled path — be inspired and enchanted!

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Art ShowS 'ShadowS: an Exhibition of tattooS': Paintings and screen-prints by regional and Vermont tattoo artists. Through March 20 at JDK Gallery in Burlington. Info, 864-5884. StEvE Clark: Watercolor, acrylic and mixed-media works depicting iconic Vermont scenes. Through February 28 at Shelburne Vineyard. Info, 985-8222. 'StrEngth in numbErS': Work by 11 Vermont art teachers who meet twice monthly to work on their own art. Through February 28 at Mezzanine Gallery, Fletcher Free Library, in Burlington. Info, 865-7211. wEndy JamES: Photographic illusions and vivid paintings by the local artist. Curated by SEABA. March 1 through May 31 at Speeder & Earl's (Pine Street) in Burlington. Info, 859-9222. willow baSCom: Colorful illustrations of animals, curated by SEABA. March 1 through May 31 at Pine Street Deli in Burlington. Info, 859-9222.

central

'20-30/2d-3d': Work in a variety of media by 20- to 30-year-old Vermont artists. Juried by cartoonist James Sturm and printmaker Rachel Gross. Through March 13 at Chandler Gallery in Randolph. Info, 728-9878. barbara lEbEr: "Seasons of the Year," acrylic paintings on board with the theme of color and light. Through March 30 at Contemporary Dance & Fitness Studio in Montpelier. Info, 229-4676. daniEl a. nEary Jr. & JESSiCa nEary: "Back in the Day: Artworks Old and New," photography and poetry, and pastel paintings, respectively, by the father and daughter artists. Through February 28 at Kellogg-Hubbard Library in Montpelier. Info, 223-3338. drEw PEbErdy: "Cheap Thrills," artwork that explores why directors make bad movies. Through March 13 at Main Street Museum in White River Junction. Info, 356-2776. fiona Sullivan: "Shades of Pussy," watercolor paintings of flowers. Through March 30 at Tulsi Tea Room in Montpelier. Info, 223-0043. gallEry mEmbErS Show: A group exhibit featuring works small and large, in a variety of media, by 35 regional artists. Through March 30 at BigTown Gallery in Rochester. Info, 767-9670.

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glEn Coburn hutChESon: Paintings, drawings and sculpture by the Montpelier artist. Visitors are invited to drop by Monday through Friday, 3-6 p.m., and be the subject of a "talking portrait," a life-size pencil drawing. Through July 31 at Storefront Studio Gallery in Montpelier. Info, 839-5349. 'hEy, thEy Can rEally draw a linE': A group exhibit of works curated from Mark Waskow's Waskowmium that examine line quality. Through March 30 at ORCA Media in Montpelier. Info, 223-0432.

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'how PEoPlE makE thingS': In a hands-on exhibit inspired by "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," visitors can make objects using four manufacturing processes: molding, cutting, deforming and assembly. Lab coats and safety glasses available! Through June 2 at Montshire Museum of Science in Norwich. Info, 649-2200. 'in thE EyE of thE bEholdEr': Paintings by three Vermont artists — Anne Unangst, Marcia Hill and Cindy Griffith — interpreting the same landscapes. Through March 31 at Governor's Office Gallery in Montpelier. Info, 229-4326.

SEVEN DAYS

'intErtwinEd': Innovative fiber works by Marsha Chase, Pamela Druhen, Elizabeth Fram, Christine Fries, Marilyn Gillis, Rae Harrell, Karen Henderson and Eve Jacobs Carnahan. Through March 9 at Festival Gallery in Waitsfield. Info, 496-6682. Joan hoffmann: "American Wilderness and Habitats," oils and watercolors by the Royalton artist. Through March 22 at Tunbridge Public Library. Info, 889-9404.

CENTRAL VT SHOWS

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John SnEll: “Still Learning to See,” work by the lifelong photographer. Through March 15 at Central Vermont Medical Center in Barre. Info, 371-4375.

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Joyce Hayden & nance Silliman: "Resiliency," assemblage boxes, collages and paintings by Hayden; paintings and mixed-media work by Silliman. Through April 13 at Nuance Gallery in Windsor. Info, 674-9616. 'labor of love': An exhibit featuring photos of and excerpts from interviews with women who are passionate about their work, are an inspiration to others and exemplify excellence in their field. Created by Vermont Works for Women in collaboration with the Vermont Folklife Center. Through February 28 at Statehouse in Montpelier. Info, 655-8900. 'ligHt & Space': Work by printmakers Sabra Field and Dan O’Donnell, fiber artist Karen Madden, and sculptor Pat Musick. Through May 10 at the Great Hall in Springfield. Info, 885-3061. lit tyler: "Memories of an Unconscious Nothing," artwork by VTC's director of institutional research. Through May 31 at Hartness Gallery, Vermont Technical College, in Randolph Center. Info, 728-1237. lizzie Helbig: "Shift: Exploring the Effects of Scale," a ceramic installation, drawings and collages that highlight the replication of forms and patterns in nature. Through March 1 at Feick Fine Arts Center, Green Mountain College, in Poultney. Info, 287-8398. mary Jo KrolewSKi: "Good Eats," playful, food-inspired soft sculpture by the Montpelier artist.Through February 28 at Green Bean Visual Art Gallery at Capitol Grounds in Montpelier. Info, curator@capitolgrounds.com. micKi colbecK: "Underwater," large oil paintings by the Vermont artist that reflect the blue planet's liquid in its many guises. March 2 through April 29 at Vermont Supreme Court Lobby in Montpelier. Info, 765-4468.

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'mold maKerS': A group show of artwork made from and relating to the mold-making process, Main Floor Gallery; norwicH UniverSity StUdentS: Five years of lo-fi works, Second Floor Gallery; and tHeodore ceraldi: "Hidden," paintings and sculpture, Third Floor Gallery. March 5 through April 6 at Studio Place Arts in Barre. Info, 479-7069. patricK leaHy: "The Eye of Senator Leahy," a collection of photographs by the U.S. Senator, who has kept his camera close at hand during his 38 years in office. Through February 28 at Vermont Supreme Court Lobby in Montpelier. Info, 828-0749. SaraH roSedaHl: "Whimsical Watercolor Birds," nature-inspired paintings by the self-taught artist and former engineer. Through February 28 at the Cheshire Cat in Montpelier. Info, 223-1981.

Picture this!

SEVEN DAYS

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media work by Randolph artists Travis Dunning, Matthew Riley and Seth Tracy, and White River Junction artist Ben Peberdy. Through April 5 at Main Street Museum in White River Junction. Info, 356-2776. SUSan bUll riley: Oil and watercolor paintings by the Vermont artist. Through February 28 at Vermont Thrush Restaurant in Montpelier. Info, 225-6166.

champlain valley

carolyn SHattUcK: Works created by layering individual monoprint plates over one another to create subtle environments of color, pattern and line. Through April 1 at Brandon Music. Info, 465-4071.

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2/26/13 12:16 PM'SUrvival SoUp': Collage, painting and mixed-

doUglaS KirKland: Photographic portraits of celebrities such as Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Judy Garland, Paul Newman, Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren, John Lennon and George Clooney. Through February 28 at Jackson Gallery, Town Hall Theater, in Middlebury. Info, 382-9222.

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eliza StampS: Line drawings inspired by Vermont's mountain ranges. Through February 28 at Edgewater Gallery in Middlebury. Info, 458-0098.

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Eric Fitzgerald As a fifth-generation Vermonter, Eric Fitzgerald is quite familiar with the Green Mountains. And his photography confirms it. Featured

in the latest Art Affair by Shearer, Fitzgerald captures the natural beauty of Vermont’s landscapes by trekking right into them. With an adventurous take on the pastoral genre, his images take audiences along. His energetic collection is on display at Shearer Chevrolet in South Burlington through March 31.

fUll HoUSe: This annual exhibit showcases the colorful works of artists Richard Weis, Brian Sylvester, Johanne Durocher Yordan and Katherine Langlands. Through March 23 at Chaffee Art Center in Rutland. Info, 775-0356. graziella weber-graSSi: "Sardinian Cupids," whimsical collages of winged cherubs emerging from sardine cans. Through February 28 at National Bank of Middlebury in Middlebury. Info, 800-249-3562. 'interSection: preSence || creativity || dreamS': Artwork by students of the Archetypal Dreamwork practice — Karla Van Vleit, Laura Smith, Joan Murray and Lily Hinrichsen. Through February 28 at WalkOver Gallery & Concert Room in Bristol. Info, 453-3188. Janice a. baUcH: Nature photography by the Vermont artist. Through February 28 at CarpenterCarse Library in Hinesburg. Info, 482-2878. libby HillHoUSe: "Parallels," photographic portraits paired with text drawn from interviews with Vermonters living below the poverty line. Through March 30 at Vermont Folklife Center in Middlebury. Info, 388-4964. 'linear tHinKing: Sol lewitt, modern, poStmodern and contemporary art from tHe collection': A LeWitt drawing installed by students; 'natUre tranSformed: edward bUrtynSKy’S vermont QUarry pHotograpHS in context': Iconic photographs exhibited within the context of the geological and social history of the area, including the Italian immigrant stoneworkers in the granite quarries near Barre (through April 22). At Middlebury College Museum of Art. Info, 443-3168. marc awodey: "Painting IS the Object," a selection of figurative paintings by, and in tribute to, the late artist and Seven Days art critic. March 4 through April 5 at Christine Price Gallery, Castleton State College. Info, 468-1266. pete SUtHerland: The well-known Vermont folk musician is earning a second reputation for his cut-paper artworks, on display here in a number of colorful collages. March 1 through 29 at WalkOver Gallery & Concert Room in Bristol. Info, 453-3188.

racHel baird: "My Pooling Heart," acrylic paintings that explore emotional damage, vulnerability and redemption. Through February 28 at ZoneThree Gallery in Middlebury. Info, 800-249-3562. StUdent art SHow: An annual exhibit of artwork by children and teens from seven local schools. Through February 28 at Brandon Artists Guild. Info, 247-4956.

northern

bianca perren: "The Center for Circumpolar Studies: Arctic Views," plein-air paintings and prints by the artist/scientist who studies the changes in Arctic landscapes as a result of climate change, pollution and human land use; liSa forSter beacH: "Cultural Energy," paintings by the Vermont artist. Through March 25 at River Arts Center in Morrisville. Info, 888-1261. cHriStina z. anderSon: Snowflake Bentley’s images printed with the mordançage process by the Montana State University, Bozeman, professor. Through March 15 at the Old Red Mill in Jericho. Info, 899-2335. 'clicK! a pHotograpHer'S view of vermont': The gallery's first-ever photography exhibit features painterly images in black-and-white and color by 75 juried artists. Through March 31 at Bryan Memorial Gallery in Jeffersonville. Info, 644-5100. 'converSationS in clotH': Quilted works by June Bugbee and friends. Through April 30 at Jericho Center Town Hall. Info, 899-2974. elizabetH nelSon: "Winter," paintings by the Vermont artist. Through February 28 at Catamount Arts Center in St. Johnsbury. Info, 748-2600. febrUary SHow: Work by woodworker Hans Jaensch and painters Genie Rybicki-Judkins and Pat Murphy. Through February 28 at Artist in Residence Cooperative Gallery in Enosburg Falls. Info, 933-6403. KatHy blacK: "Reconciling the Map," paintings that incorporate newspaper clippings, weather patterns, maps and views of the night sky. Through March 9 at Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College. Info, 635-1469. Kelly Holt: "I Walk the Line," mixed-media paintings. Through April 30 at Green Goddess Café

Art ShowS

Call to artists quiMby Call for EntriEs Accepting exhibit proposals. The Quimby is a small gallery best suited for wall-mounted, two- or threedimensional work. Include a written proposal, examples of previous/current work in slide/ electronic format posted to Quimby Gallery, Box 919, Lyndonville, VT 05851. art of CrEatiVE aging Juried exhibit featuring recent work of older (70+) visual artists living in central Vermont. Send digital submissions to mharmon@cvcoa.org by March 30. Info, 476-2681. it CaME froM sPaCE! The S.P.A.C.E. Gallery is launching a Satellite Arts space, and we need your “spaced out” work for a 50/50 fundraising art exhibit. Think spacemen, planets, rockets, and asteroids! Deadline March 15, more details at spacegalleryvt.com/call-to-artists nCg PrEsEnts ECologiEs! New City Galerie is accepting submissions for its April show centered around environmental and ecological education and justice. Deadline: March 18. Submit via email: newcitygalerie@gmail.com. oPEn grouP shoW “CrEatiVE CoMP” First Friday every month. $8 entry fee, limit 1 per artist. No rules, any size/media/subject. Entries accepted Wednesday through first Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Opening reception on first Fridays, 6 p.m.-9 p.m. People’s choice winner gets cash prize. Exhibit up for month. Location: Root Gallery at RL Photo, 27 Sears Lane, Burlington. For info, call 540-3081 or email publicartschool@gmail.com. siDEWalk art fEstiVal Cambridge Arts Council announces the 5th annual Festival of the Arts, August 10, 2013, in Jeffersonville, Vt. Regional artists can register at cambridgeartsvt.org. tWo by tWo This SPA exhibit explores pairs. We’re thinking of two related objects (simple and complex, black and white, hard and soft), double portraits or diptychs. The show includes

in Stowe. Info, 253-5255.

Mary ann Duffy goDin: "Birds, Blooms and Vintage," watercolor paintings by the Vermont artist. Through April 17 at Bent Northrop Memorial Library in Fairfield. Info, 827-3945. Polly WhitCoMb: "Old Implements & Fresh Clay," sculptural wall hangings made from salvaged industrial parts. Through February 28 at Stowe Craft & Design in Stowe. Info, 253-7677.

stEPhEn hunECk: "Pure Love," canine-centric prints by the late Vermont artist. The exhibit is the arts center's first in a collaborative series with Huneck's Dog Chapel and Stephen Huneck Gallery. Through March 7 at Catamount Arts Center in St. Johnsbury. Info, 748-2600.

southern

ChanDlEr annual arEa artists shoW: Orange, Washington and Windsor County artists are invited to submit one sample of their work. Drop-off: April 7 and 8. Opening: April 13. Info, chandler-arts.org. ‘thE WorlD arounD us’: Photographers 18 and under are invited to submit photos for a contest. First-, second- and third-place cash prizes will be awarded in three categories: people, animals and nature. Deadline: March 15. Call Camilla, 988-4300, or Emily, 988-4741, for info. Rules and applications, woodenhorsearts.com/photofun/index.shtml. skin: Call for EntriEs: The undulating landscape of the human form is one of the most variable in nature. Photo entries. Juror: Allen Birnbach. Deadline: March 6. Info, darkroomgallery.com/ex40.

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‘2013 bEst of thE uPPEr VallEy high sChool Exhibition’: Work by Upper Valley teens; Artwork by Students from Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth: A series of colored-pencil drawings called “Metastasis” by Benjamin Blais; prints of watercolor and ink paintings by Thanapoom (Mo) Boonipat. Through March 1 at AVA Gallery and Art Center in Lebanon, N.H. Info, 603-448-3117.

Unlimited culture. Toronto 4x weekly.

art lab Exhibition: Work by adults with special needs who meet weekly for art classes at AVA Gallery and Art Center. Through May 31 at Courtyard by Marriott in Lebanon, N.H. Info, 603-448-3117. ‘Crossing CulturEs’: A survey of Australia’s contemporary indigenous art movement from the 1970s to the present drawn from one of the world’s largest collections of aboriginal art. Through March 10 at Hood Museum, Dartmouth College in Hanover, N.H. Info, 603-646-2095. JEan-JaCquE DuVal: Paintings, stained-glass sculpture and preliminary drawings for large stained-glass windows installed in Europe, Japan and the U.S. Through March 24 at Burke Gallery, Plattsburgh State Art Museum, N.Y. Info, 518-564-2474. ‘PEru: kingDoMs of thE sun anD thE Moon — iDEntitiEs anD ConquEst in thE anCiEnt, Colonial anD MoDErn Eras’: A collection of pre-Columbian treasures and masterpieces, many of which have never been seen outside Peru. Through June 16 at Montréal Museum of Fine Arts, Québec. Info, 514-285-1600. WintEr WatErColor shoW: Work by the Vermont Watercolor Society. Through March 2 at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, N.H. m

ART 75

JEanEttE fourniEr: Realist bird-focused watercolors by the New Hampshire artist. Through March 31 at VINS Nature Center in Quechee. Info, 359-5000.

loCal MarkEt sEEks PEEPs! Waitsfield Farmers Market is seeking local agricultural, artisan and specialty food producers for the 2013 season. Information, waitsfieldfarmersmarket.com. Application deadline: March 1.

SEVEN DAYS

'sourCE: guilD of VErMont furniturE MakErs': An exhibition of fine furniture by Vermont craftspeople with a focus on the source of all the elements that collaborate to make the final piece; galEn ChEnEy: Colorful, large-scale, abstract paintings that evoke urban graffiti, architecture and the organic (through February 24). Through April 14 at Helen Day Art Center in Stowe. Info, 253-8358.

sEEking yoga-insPirED art: The Burlington Yoga Conference is seeking yogainspired artwork to hang at the conference on May 4 and 5 in the UVM Davis Center. Deadline: April 20. Please contact ben@ empvt.com to submit.

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sanDra ErshoW: Watercolors and pastels by the Waterbury artist. Through March 15 at Copley Woodlands in Stowe. Info, 253-7200.

triCk of thE EyE Exhibit Calling for submissions: Optical illusions conjured by a variety of processes, from studio setups to spontaneously captured works, that inspire the question, “How did they do that?” Deadline: April 3. Juror: Benjamin Von Wong. More info at submissions@darkroomgallery.com. darkroomgallery.com/ex41

SEVENDAYSVt.com

Margot EastMan & CasEy DEarborn: Photographs by Eastman; watercolors by Dearborn. Through March 4 at Parker Pie Co. in West Glover. Info, 525-3366.

abstract, figurative, two- or three-dimensional works, in all media. Align with another artist or present a pair of your own. Deadline: March 1. Exhibit dates: April 16 through May 25. Info at studioplacearts.com.

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movies Dark Skies ★★

ot screening movies such as Dark Skies for critics prior to their release is a ploy generally met with suspicion and disapproval. But I think that’s the wrong way to look at the practice. Maybe studios should be encouraged to go a step further and not screen movies like Dark Skies for anyone at all. Who do these PR geniuses think they’re kidding, anyway? Is there a moviegoer who doesn’t know what it means when you look f or a review in the paper and instead fi nd the words, “As of press time, this fi lm has not been screened for critics”? It’s an admission of failure. They might as well come out and say, “This movie has been rated PG for Pure Garbage.” That’s certainly the case with the reviewwary latest from writer-director Scott Stewart, whose previous creations include derivative supernatural dabblings such as Legion and Priest. Having recycled all the tired tropes he could fi nd pertaining to angels and vampires, he’s now decided to recycle tired tropes pertaining to aliens. Seriously.Dark Skies is less a movie than a greatest-hits collection of motif s, images

and moments borrowed from decades of supernatural classics. It’s the story of a typical suburban f amily grappling with the recession, teen hormones and extraterrestrial home invasion. Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton play Lacy and Dan Barrett. She sells real estate. Or tries to. He’s an architect who’s lost his job. As they get further behind on the mortgage, their marriage begins to f ray and their two sons show signs of picking up on their parents’ stress. The older, Jesse (Dakota Goyo), spends time with a classmate who has access to weed. The younger, Sam (Kadan Rockett), spends time with an invisible friend he calls the Sandman. Evidently Lacy and Dan have somehow made it to 2013 without ever seeing Poltergeist. So no red ﬂ ags are raised when mysterious f orces rearrange the contents of their kitchen while the Barretts slumber. I’m not kidding. If you came downstairs in the morning and your stu˛ had been stacked in strange, towering piles, could your ﬁ rst thought be anything but Hey, this is just like Poltergeist. We’re outta here? But no. Freaky yet ridiculously f amiliar

POLTER-HEIST When it comes to lifting from classics, the sky’s the limit for the originality-challenged ﬁ lmmaker.

things occur with increasing frequency. Sam becomes possessed by the Sandman, much as Regan became possessed by Captain Howdy in The Exorcist. Every now and then, someone freezes with their mouth open in a circle the way characters did in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Birds smash by the hundreds into windows the way they did in, well, The Birds. Stewart additionally samples everything f rom Signs to Paranormal Activity in his quest to f ashion the most generic thriller ever fi lmed. In this, if little else, he may have succeeded. The only thing more annoying than the guy’s cinematic recycling is his lazy dependence on Joseph Bishara’s score to suggest the atmosphere of tension and dread he’s unable to generate dramatically. Lacy and Dan are unbelievably thick, but they do eventually fi gure out they’ve got an alien problem. In the fi lm’s least tedious

sequence, they visit an expert in such matters whom they locate with a little help from Google. He’s a world-weary f ellow named Edwin Pollard. His beat covers two worlds, so he’s really weary. The great J.K. Simmons lends the character an intriguing air of resignation as he breaks it down f or the hapless parents: They’ve probably come for one of the boys. They probably can’t be stopped. “The invasion already happened.” Of course it did. Everything in this movie already happened. We’ve literally seen it all bef ore. Stewart is shameless. His ﬁ lm is stinkier than a stranded cruise ship. This is a director for whom fun and fresh ideas are alien concepts. Whatever you do, do not let him abduct your time or money. RICK KISONAK

REVIEWS

76 MOVIES

SEVEN DAYS

02.27.13-03.06.13

SEVENDAYSVT.COM

Snitch★★★

nitch should have been called Bait and Switch. The marketing promises kick-ass action f rom Dwayne Johnson, the gentleman better known under his pro-wrestling name, the Rock. The actual fi lm is a relatively quiet, character-f ocused drama with only one extended action sequence. Director and cowriter Ric Roman Waugh makes no bones about Snitch being an oldfashioned message movie: It uses a fi ctional scenario to highlight the injustice of f ederal mandatory minimum sentencing laws. While the movie certainly deserves credit for having points to make, and compelling ones, it makes them with zero originality or fl air. Johnson plays John Matthews, owner of a small, midwestern construction company. He’s your basic good-citizen Everyman until his 18-year-old son, Jason (Rafi Gavron), who lives with John’s estranged ex, is arrested for distribution of Ecstasy. Because Jason barely qualifi es as a drug dealer — his crime was receiving a package f rom a f riend who planned to sell the contents — he doesn’t know enough to snitch on higher-ups in the trade. That means he can’t reduce his 10-year minimum sentence. Hoping to save his son f rom a decade in the clink, John persuades an ambitious,

hard-as-nails D.A. (Susan Sarandon) to let him set up his own sting operation. With the help of a young employee who used to be in “the game” (Jon Bernthal), John o˛ ers his transportation services to the local narcotics kingpin (Michael K. Williams). The straightarrow businessman presents himself as another casualty of the recession driven to crime. Soon, of course, he’s in over his head. It’s not hard to imagine someone pitching this scenario as “Breaking Bad” meets Taken, with the fi sh-out-of-water novelty of the f ormer and the moral simplicity of the latter. The fi nal product is a lot less interesting. The movie owes its plodding quality partially to the script, by Waugh and Justin Haythe, which hits all the obvious beats and no unexpected ones. For instance, we’re reminded regularly that both John and Bernthal’s felon-gone-straight character are motivated by love f or their sons. We also have to sit through scenes in which the women in their lives beg them to stay home and play it saf e. (Would that these nagging-signifi cantother interludes, which always end the same way, could be retired f rom our screens f orever.) But part of the blame belongs with the casting. In fl icks such as Fast Five, Johnson is a personable slab of beefcake who doesn’t

OMAR COMIN’ Johnson falls in with a bad lot, including Williams, in Waugh’s earnest drama.

take himself too seriously. This dramatic role has sapped him of that charisma. It’s not a wooden perf ormance, just devoid of dynamism or nuance, and the script’s simple conception of John doesn’t help. Snitchderives a bit more ﬁ zz f rom its supporting players, including Bernthal (who played Shane on “The Walking Dead”), Williams and Barry Pepper as a seen-it-all f ederal agent. The climactic action sequence involving a semi is fun, and the ﬁ lm’s handheld camerawork provides some movement, though it’s now such a genre standard that it doesn’t generate a vérité feel. For those seek-

ing a gritty look inside the drug trade, this is not “The Wire” — as Williams’ presence (he played outlaw icon Omar Little on the HBO series) inadvertently reminds us. If the ﬁ lmmakers hoped to convince the average Rock fan to rethink mandatory minimum sentencing laws — or to think about them at all — they may have succeeded. If they hoped to make anyone rememberSnitch itself for more than a week or so, they stand convicted of overweening ambition. MARGOT HARRISON

moViE clipS

new in theaters

21 AND oVER: The writers of The Hangover, Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, attempt to rekindle the magic of inebriation comedy with their directorial debut about a kid whose big medical school exam happens to fall the day after he celebrates his 21st birthday. With Miles Teller, Justin Chon and Jonathan Keltz. (93 min, R. Bijou, Capitol, Essex, Majestic, Palace) JAcK tHE GiANt SlAYER: Once upon a time, a studio set out to make yet another fairy-tale retelling but didn’t like its namby-pamby original title, “Jack and the Beanstalk.” Nicholas Hoult plays Jack, sure to be one badass user of magic beans. With Ewan McGregor and Stanley Tucci. Bryan (Valkyrie) Singer directed. (114 min, PG-13. Bijou [3-D], Essex [3-D], Majestic [3-D], Palace, Paramount [3-D], Stowe) tHE lASt EXoRciSm pARt ii: The found-footage possession flick fails to live up to its title by spawning this sequel, in which Nell (Ashley Bell), former residence of the devil, attempts to start a new life. With Julia Garner and Spencer Treat Clark. Ed (Small Town Murder Songs) Gass-Donnelly directed. (95 min, PG-13. Capitol, Essex, Palace) pHANtom: Battle of the character actors! Ed Harris, William Fichtner, David Duchovny and Lance Henrikson star in this thriller set on a Soviet submarine whose commander has received a potentially world-altering mission. Todd (Lonely Hearts) Robinson directed. (97 min, R. Palace)

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EScApE FRom plANEt EARtHHH1/2 The scary aliens are us in this family animation about a heroic astronaut from the planet Baab (voiced by Brendan Fraser) who responds to a distress call from Earth. With Rob Corddry, James Gandolfini and Sarah Jessica Parker. Cal Brunker directed. (90 min, PG) A GooD DAY to DiE HARDH1/2 John McClane (Bruce Willis) finds out his son (Jai Courtney) is working for the CIA in Russia and decides to retire, take in some sights and leave the action stunts to the next generation. No, that’s actually not what happens in the fifth Die Hard movie. With Mary Elizabeth Winstead. John (Max Payne) Moore directed. (97 min, R) HANSEl AND GREtEl: WitcH HUNtERS 1/2H The fairy-tale kids (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton) are all grown up and using serious weaponry, and we sincerely hope this action flick isn’t taking itself seriously. With Peter Stormare and Famke Janssen. Tommy (Dead Snow) Wirkola directed. (93 min, R) iDENtitY tHiEFHH Jason Bateman vs. Melissa McCarthy? Our money’s on the lady with the smart mouth. In this comedy from director Seth (Horrible Bosses) Gordon, he’s the mild-mannered victim of identity theft; she’s the con artist. With John Cho and Amanda Peet. (111 min, R) tHE impoSSiBlEHHH The true story of a vacationing family’s ordeal during and after the 2004 Indian Ocean tsumani inspired this disaster drama from J.A. (The Orphanage) Bayona. Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor and Tom Holland star. (114 min, PG-13)

AmoURHHHHH Jean-Louis Trintignant plays an elderly man struggling to care for his beloved wife (Emmanuelle Riva) as she experiences dementia in this Oscar-nominated drama from director Michael (Caché) Haneke. With Isabelle Huppert. See review, this issue. (127 min, PG-13.)

liFE oF piHHHH Ang Lee directed this adaptation of Yann Martel’s best-selling novel about a zookeeper’s son who finds himself adrift in a boat with an assortment of hungry animals. Starring Adil Hussain, Irrfan Khan and Suraj Sharma. (126 min, PG)

ARGoHHH Ben Affleck plays a covert agent who uses a daring deception to try to rescue Americans trapped in Iran during the hostage crisis in this drama based on actual events. With John Goodman, Alan Arkin and Bryan Cranston. Affleck directed. (120 min, R)

liNcolNHHHHH Steven Spielberg directs this look inside Honest Abe’s cabinet during the Civil War, as the president (Daniel Day-Lewis) works to gather the political capital to pass the 13th Amendment. Playwright Tony Kushner scripted. With Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tommy Lee Jones and Sally Field. (150 min, PG)

BARBARA: In 1980, an East German doctor (Nina Hoss) finds herself drawn to a colleague she knows is reporting on her to the secret police, in this behind-the-Iron-Curtain drama from director Christian Petzold. (105 min, PG-13)

DJANGo UNcHAiNEDHHHH Quentin Tarantino goes Southern gothic. Jamie Foxx plays a former slave who sets out to rescue his wife from an evil plantation owner. With Leonardo DiCaprio, Christoph Waltz and Kerry Washington. (165 min, R)

H = refund, please HH = could’ve been worse, but not a lot HHH = has its moments; so-so HHHH = smarter than the average bear HHHHH = as good as it gets

Tell us your favorite Seven Days section at facebook.com/sevendays.socialclub Click the “contest” tab and vote by March 4 at noon. You’ll be entered to win lift tickets to Jay Peak!

QUARtEtH Dustin Hoffman directed this comedy-drama about a British retirement home full of former opera musicians, where the arrival of a diva (Maggie Smith) stirs up old rivalries and resentments. With Tom Courtenay, Pauline Collins and Billy Connolly. (95 min, PG-13) RiSE oF tHE GUARDiANSHHH Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and other childhood icons team up, Avengers-style, to combat a worldthreatening menace in this DreamWorks family animation. With the voices of Alec Baldwin, Chris Pine, Hugh Jackman, Isla Fisher and Jude Law. Peter Ramsey directed. (97 min, PG) SAFE HAVENH1/2 Young woman with dark secrets; picturesque Southern setting; soulful widower offering new love; seaside montages; staring, staring, staring. That’s a guess at what you’ll find in this Nicholas Sparks adaptation starring Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel and Cobie Smulders, directed by Lasse Hallström. (115 min, PG-13) SiDE EFFEctSHHH1/2 Rooney Mara plays a young wife whose anxiety medication fails to improve her mental state in this thriller-slash-critique-ofthe-pharmaceutical-industry from ever-versatile director Steven Soderbergh, who says his next step is to retire from big-screen filmmaking. Channing Tatum, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jude Law also star. (106 min, R)

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MOVIES 77

RATINGS ASSIGNED TO MOVIES NOT REVIEWED BY RicK KiSoNAK OR mARGot HARRiSoN ARE COURTESY OF METACRITIC.COM, WHICH AVERAGES SCORES GIVEN BY THE COUNTRY’S MOST WIDELY READ MOVIE REVIEWERS.

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02.27.13-03.06.13

DARK SKiESH1/2 A suburban family faces an invasion by mysterious and sinister forces — aliens? ghosts? reality-show producers? The trailer didn’t specify — in this thriller starring Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton and Dakota Goyo. Scott (Priest, Legion) Stewart directed. (95 min, PG-13)

WHAT DO YOU TURN TO

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BEAUtiFUl cREAtURESHHH A Southern teen falls in love with a young woman from a family of witches, and yes, this paranormal romance is more of what Twilight wrought. Based on the novel by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons and Viola Davis star. Richard (P.S. I Love You) LaGravenese directed. (124 min, PG-13)

moNStERS, iNc. (3D)HHH1/2 The 2001 Pixar animated hit about monsters who generate power for their city by scaring kids returns with a new dimension. With the voices of John Goodman and Billy Crystal. Pete Docter, David Silverman and Lee Unkrich directed. (96 min, G)

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movies

showtimes

(*) = new this week in vermont. times subjeCt to Change without notiCe. for up-to-date times visit sevendaysvt.com/movies.

BiG picture theater

48 Carroll Rd. (off Rte. 100), Waitsfield, 496-8994, bigpicturetheater.info

Your LocaL Source Since 1995

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 escape from planet earth 1, 5, 7. life of pi 1, 5. Zero dark Thirty 7:30.

14 ChurCh St • Burlington,Vt CrowBookS.Com • (802) 862-0848

friday 1 — thursday 7 warm Bodies 5, 7. Full schedule not available at press time.

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THE GOOD NEWS BROADCAST Channel 15

sunDaYs > 10am

GUND INSTITUTE AT UVM > 8Pm BIONEERS > 9Pm TED > 10Pm

Channel 16 • tuesDaY nights

BiJou cinepleX 4

Rte. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293, bijou4.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 escape from planet earth 1, 6:40. escape from planet earth 3d 3:30. a Good day to die hard 1:30, 3:40, 7. identity Thief 1:20, 4, 6:50. mama 7:10. rise of the Guardians 1:10, 3:50.

friday 1 — thursday 7 *21 and over Fri and Sat: 1:30, 4, Channel 17 7, 9. Sun to Tue: 1:30, 4, 7. Wed WATCH TOWN MEETING and Thu: 4, 7. escape from planet earth Fri to Tue: 1:10, 3:40. Wed fORUMS ONlINE. get reaDY to vote! and Thu: 3:40. a Good day to die hard Fri and Sat: 6:40, 9. Sun to Thu: 6:40. identity Thief Fri and GET MORE INfO OR WATCH ONlINE AT Sat: 1:20, 3:50, 6:50, 9. Sun to Tue: vermont cam.org • retn.org CH17.TV 1:20, 3:50, 6:50. Wed and Thu: 3:50, 6:50. *Jack the Giant slayer Fri to Tue: 1, 6:30. Wed and Thu: 6:30. *Jack the Giant slayer 3d Fri and 16t-retnWEEKLY.indd 1 2/25/13 12:12 PM Sat: 3:30, 8:30. Sun to Thu: 3:30.

Standard Tune Up $54.95 and Deluxe Tune Up $74.95. Avoid the wait and be ready for Spring!

seven days

02.27.13-03.06.13

sevendaysvt.com

Early Bird Tune-Up Special

93 State St., Montpelier, 2290343, fgbtheaters.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 Beautiful creatures 1:30, 6:15, 9. escape from planet earth 3d 1:30, 6:30, 9. a Good day to die hard 1:30, 6:30, 9. silver linings playbook 1:30, 6:20, 9. warm Bodies 1:30, 6:25, 9. friday 1 — tuesday 4 *21 and over Fri: 1:30, 6:25, 9. Sat and Sun: 12:35, 3:15, 6:25, 9. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:25, 9. django unchained 9. escape from planet earth 3d Fri: 1:30, 6:30. Sat and Sun: 12:25, 3, 6:30. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:30. *The last exorcism part ii Fri: 1:30, 6:30, 9. Sat and Sun: 12:25, 3:20, 6:30, 9. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:30, 9. safe haven Fri: 1:30, 6:25, 9. Sat and Sun: 12:45, 3:30, 6:25, 9. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:25, 9. silver linings playbook Fri: 1:30, 6:20, 9. Sat and Sun: 12:30, 3:15, 6:20, 9. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:20, 9.

esseX cinemas & t-reX theater 21 Essex Way, #300, Essex, 8796543, essexcinemas.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 argo 4:30, 7:05, 9:40. Beautiful creatures 1:25, 4, 6:35, 9:10. dark skies 12:45, 2:55, 5:05, 7:15, 9:25. escape from planet earth 4:35. escape from planet earth 3d 12:25, 2:30, 6:40, 8:45. a Good day to die hard 12:25, 1, 2:15, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10. identity Thief 12:10, 2:35, 5, 7:25, 9:50. safe haven 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30,

78 MOVIES 8v-OldSpokes022713.indd 1

capitol showplace

2/25/13 3:22 PM

10. side effects 12:15, 4:50, 7:10. silver linings playbook 1:15, 3:50, 6:25, 9. warm Bodies 2:35, 9:30. friday 1 — thursday 7 *21 and over 1, 3:05, 5:10, 7:15, 9:20. argo 12, 7:05. dark skies 12:45, 2:55, 5:05, 7:15, 9:25. escape from planet earth 4:35. escape from planet earth 3d 12:25, 2:30, 6:40, 8:45. a Good day to die hard 2:35, 4:50, 9:40. identity Thief 12:10, 2:35, 5, 7:25, 9:50. *Jack the Giant slayer 3d 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. *The last exorcism part ii 1:10, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30. safe haven 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. silver linings playbook 1:15, 3:50, 6:25, 9. snitch 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35, 10.

maJestic 10

190 Boxwood St. (Maple Tree Place, Taft Corners), Williston, 878-2010, majestic10.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 Beautiful creatures 12:40, 3:30, 6:20, 9:05. escape from planet earth 11:45 a.m., 4. escape from planet earth 3d 1:50, 6:15, 8:30. a Good day to die hard 12:10, 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30. hansel & Gretel: witch hunters 3d 5, 6:45. identity Thief 1:10, 4:10, 6:50, 9:35. monsters, inc. 3d 11:30 a.m. safe haven 1:20, 4:20, 7, 9:35. side effects 2:25, 9:30. silver linings playbook 1, 3:40, 6:30, 9:10. snitch 1:30, 4, 6:40, 9:15. warm Bodies 12, 4:50, 8:50. friday 1 — thursday 7 *21 and over 12:20, 2:30, 4:35, 7:20, 9:40. dark skies 2, 4:30, 7:10, 9:30. escape from planet earth 11:50 a.m., 3:50. escape from planet earth 3d 1:40, 6:10, 8:30. a Good day to die hard 12, 2:20, 7:05, 9:30. identity Thief 1:20, 4:10, 6:45, 9:25. *Jack the Giant slayer 4:40, 8:50. *Jack the Giant slayer 3d 1, 4, 6:50, 9:35. life of pi 3d 12:40, 3:40, 6:30, 9:15. monsters, inc. 3d 11:40 a.m. rise of the Guardians 11:30 a.m. safe haven 1:10, 3:45, 6:20, 9:20. silver linings playbook 12:50, 3:30, 6:40. snitch 1:50, 4:20, 7, 9:35.

marQuis theatre Main St., Middlebury, 388-4841

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 escape from planet earth 3d 5:30. a Good day to die hard 7. identity Thief 7. warm Bodies 7. Full schedule not available at press time.

merrill’s roXy cinema 222 College St., Burlington, 8643456, merrilltheatres.net

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 amour 1, 3:50, 6:30, 9:05. django unchained 3:30, 8:50. identity Thief 1:20, 4, 7, 9:20. The impossible 1:05, 6:40. Quartet 1:25, 3:40, 6:20, 8:30. safe haven 1:10, 4:20, 6:50, 9:10. silver linings playbook 1:15, 3:45, 6:25, 8:55. friday 1 — thursday 7

Argo

amour 1 :15, 3:50, 6:30, 9:05. argo 1:25, 4, 6:50, 9:10. django unchained 3:20, 8:40. The impossible 1, 6:25. lincoln 1:05, 4:10, 7:10. Quartet 1:20, 3:30, 6:20, 8:30. silver linings playbook 1:10, 3:40, 6:20, 9:15.

palace 9 cinemas 10 Fayette Dr., South Burlington, 864-5610, palace9.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 argo 1, 3:40, 6:30, 9:10. Beautiful creatures 12:45, 3:35, 6:40, 9:25. escape from planet earth 12:35, 2:35, 4:35, 6:40, 8:45. a Good day to die hard 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:30. identity Thief 1:15, 4, 6:55, 9:25. safe haven 1, 3:45, 6:45, 9:20. side effects 1:25, 3:55, 6:50, 9:10. silver linings playbook 12:55, 3:50, 6:35, 9:15. warm Bodies 4, 9:15. Zero dark Thirty 12:30, 6:15. friday 1 — thursday 7 *21 and over 1:40, 4:10, 6:55, 9:20. argo 1, 3:40, 6:30, 9. escape from planet earth 12:45, 2:45, 4:45, 6:45 (except Thu). a Good day to die hard 8:45. identity Thief 1:15 (except Sat), 4, 6:45, 9:10. *Jack the Giant slayer 1:10, 3:50, 6:40, 9:15. *The last exorcism part ii 1:45, 4:15, 7, 9:15. ***The metropolitan opera: parsifal Sat: 12. ***The metropolitan opera: rigoletto encore Wed: 6:30. ***paleyFest featuring The walking dead Thu: 8. phantom 1:30, 3:55, 6:50, 9:05. safe haven 12:50, 3:30 (except Sat), 6:25, 8:50 (Fri-Tue only). silver linings playbook 12:55, 3:50, 6:35 (except Wed), 9:10. ***See website for details.

paramount twin cinema

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 identity Thief 1:30, 6:30, 9. safe haven 1:30, 6:25, 9. friday 1 — thursday 7 identity Thief Fri: 1:30, 6:30, 9. Sat and Sun: 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:30, 9. *Jack the Giant slayer 3d Fri: 1:30, 6:25, 9. Sat and Sun: 12:40, 3:30, 6:25, 9. Mon and Tue: 1:30, 6:25, 9.

the savoy theater 26 Main St., Montpelier, 2290509, savoytheater.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 amour 6:30, 8:45. Barbara 6, 8. friday 1 — thursday 7 amour 6, 8:15. Sat and Sun: 1, 3:30, 6, 8:15. Mon to Thu: 6, 8:15. Quartet Fri: 6:30, 8:30. Sat and Sun: 1:30, 4, 6:30, 8:30. Mon to Thu: 6:30, 8:30.

stowe cinema 3 pleX Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2534678. stowecinema.com

wednesday 27 — thursday 28 a Good day to die hard 7. identity Thief 7. silver linings playbook 7. friday 1 — thursday 7 identity Thief Fri: 7, 9:10. Sat and Sun: 2:30, 4:40, 7, 9:10. Mon to Thu: 7. *Jack the Giant slayer Fri: 7, 9:10. Sat and Sun: 2:30, 4:40, 7, 9:10. Mon to Thu: 7. silver linings playbook Fri: 7, 9:10. Sat and Sun: 2:30, 4:40, 7, 9:10. Mon to Thu: 7.

welden theatre

104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 5277888, weldentheatre3.com

Schedule not available at press time.

241 North Main St., Barre, 4799621, fgbtheaters.com

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SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK★★★★ Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence play two people with degrees of mental illness who forge an oddball bond in this dark romantic comedy from director David O. (The Fighter) Russell. With Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver and Chris Tucker. (122 min, R) SNITCH★★1/2 Dwayne Johnson plays a father who goes undercover with the DEA to save his son from a drug-related conviction in this drama from director Ric Roman (Felon) Waugh. With Barry Pepper, Jon Bernthal and Susan Sarandon. (95 min, PG-13) WARM BODIES★★★ Vampire romance, OK. But zombie romance? Nicholas Hoult plays an undead teen who falls in love with a living one (Teresa Palmer), and, thank God, this appears to be a comedy. With John Malkovich and Rob Corddry. Jonathan (50/50) Levine directed. (97 min, PG-13) ZERO DARK THIRTY★★★1/2 The team behind The Hurt Locker (director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal) bring us this controversial fact-based drama about the hunt for Osama bin Laden. Jessica Chastain, Joel Edgerton and Chris Pratt star. (157 min, R)

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CHASING MAVERICKS★1/2 Directors Michael Apted (the 7 Up series) and Curtis Hanson (LA

Confidential) team up on this fact-based tale of a teenage surfer taking on a big wave. Gerard Butler, Elisabeth Shue and Jonny Weston star. (116 min, PG) HOLY MOTORS★★★★★ Denis Lavant plays a Parisian professional with an odd job having an odd day in this exuberant experiment from Leos Carax that really should have been nominated for Best Foreign Film at the Oscars. With Edith Scob, Eva Mendes and Kylie Minogue. (115 min, NR) HOW TO SURVIVE A PLAGUE: David France’s Oscarnominated documentary about how ACT UP and other activist groups fought to raise awareness and make HIV a survivable diagnosis. (120 min, NR) THE MASTER★★★★ Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a midcentury guru who recruits Joaquin Phoenix for his new religion — or, some might say, cult — in this ambitious period drama from Paul Thomas (There Will Be Blood) Anderson. With Amy Adams and Jesse Plemons. (137 min, R) THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2★★1/2 Having an insta-grow vampire daughter can be such a pain when the other vamps refuse to accept her and threaten your clan with bloody annihilation. With Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Billy Burke. Bill Condon directed. (116 min, PG-13)

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This week in Movies You Missed: Visit a dystopian future, Ayn Rand-style.

02.27.13-03.06.13

76: Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike

CMY

SEVEN DAYS

n Atlas Shrugged: Part I (three are planned), we were introduced to a nearfuture society in which the energy crisis has made railroads central to the economy again. This is convenient for a retelling of Rand’s 1000-page-plus novel, first published in 1957, because the protagonist, Dagny Taggart (played here by Samantha Mathis, replacing Taylor Schilling), is a railroad magnate. In part I, our heroine teamed up with Henry Rearden (Jason Beghe), a granite-jawed steel manufacturer who had created an amazing new alloy. Now the government is persecuting him in an effort to make him comply with the Fair Share Act. Meanwhile, all the great scientists and artists of the world are mysteriously disappearing, which makes it hard for Taggart to find a genius capable of investigating a machine she discovered in an old factory — a device that could end the world’s energy woes forever…

MOVIES 79

MAR GO T H AR R IS O N

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fun stuff

BLISS

B y HARR y B L is s

“Not right now, honey, daddy’s ignoring you.”

lulu eightball

80 comics

SEVEN DAYS

02.27.13-03.06.13

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p. 82

NEWS QUIRKS by rol

And sweet

Curses, Foiled Again

When Khalil Bailey, 27, tried but failed to buy a pair of new limited-edition Nike sneakers five days before their official release, police in Middletown, Pa., said he broke into the shoe store and stole four pairs of the shoes. A store manager noticed the shoes were miss ing but couldn’t find evidence of a break-in. Ten days later, however, she discovered pry marks on the back door and reviewed the surveillance video. It showed Bailey wearing a pair of the $200 shoes before they went on sale, Nicastro said, calling Bailey “a dopey criminal.” (Bucks County Courier Times)

Problem Solved

Burrito Bomber is excellent,” engineer John Boiles said. “Plus, burritos are kind of bombshaped.” (U.S. News & World Report)

Putincare

President Vladimir Putin ordered Russia’s government to increase lif e expectancy to 74 years by 2018. Last year, it was 66.5 years, compared with 78.5 years in the United States. Putin is 60. (The Washington Post)

Waste Not

Hachikyo, a Japanese restaurant in Sapporo f amous f or its “tsukko meshi,” salty salmon roe served on rice in overflowing bowls, fines customers who don’t finish their order. The menu explains that working conditions f or fishermen are harsh, so “to show our gratitude and appreciation for the food they

Missouri state Rep. Mike Leara proposed legislation that would make it a f elony f or lawmakers to propose legislation “that further restricts an individual’s right to bear arms.” Explaining he intro REAL duced the bill af ter other lawmakers proposed ban ning assault rifles and highPIScES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) capacity gun magazines from being manufactured or have decided to carried in Missouri, Leara rename the consteldeclared, “There have to be consequences f or removing lations that have our constitutional rights.” domineered our skies too long,” (The Huffington Post)

f REE WIll a St Rology

provide, it is f orbidden to leave even one grain of rice in your bowl. Customers who do not finish their tsukko meshi must give a donation.” The amount of the fine isn’t specified, but blogger Midori Yokoyama said a waitress told him “hardly anyone leaves their tsukko meshi unfinished.” Restaurant owner Hitoshi Sugita said the concept of charging customers for unfinished meals has actually proven popular enough to allow him to open a second restaurant that fines customers in Tokyo in April. (Rocket News via International Science Times)

Sit. Stay. Float.

Dogs would be required to wear life jackets at pool-equipped daycare and boarding facilities in Colorado, according to rules drafted

f EB. 28-maR.6 space, he told journalist r .d. pickle. it gave him the sense of “being out of bounds at all times.” i suggest you adopt some of the Vidstrand spirit in the next three weeks, Cancerian. being on the fringes and out of bounds is exactly where you belong.

Bombs Away

pain is entering a new phase. gradually, almost imperceptibly at first, an emotional ache that has been sapping your vitality will begin to diminish. you will free yourself of its power to define you. you will learn to live without its oddly seductive glamour. More and more, as the weeks go by, you will find yourself less interested in it, less attracted to the maddening mystery it has foisted on you. n o later than mid-April, i’m guessing that you will be ready to conduct a ritual of completion; you’ll be able to give it a formal send-off as you squeeze one last lesson out of it.

(March 21-April 19): in 1993, Frenchman emile l eray was on a solo trip through the s ahara desert. in the middle of nowhere, his car suffered a major breakdown. it was unfixable. but he didn’t panic. instead, he used a few basic tools he had on hand to dismantle the vehicle and convert its parts into a makeshift motorcycle. h e was able to ride it back to civilization. i foresee the possibility of a metaphorically similar development in your future, Aries. you will get the opportunity to be very re sourceful as you turn an apparent setback into a successful twist of fate.

o ut

r ob

brezsny’s

(May 21-June 20): in the lan guage of the h uron indians, “orenda” is a word that refers to the spiritual power that resides in all creatures and things. if you’ve got enough of it, you may be able to declare at least partial independence from your own past. you can better shape the life you want for yourself rather than being so thoroughly subject to the limitations of your karma and conditioning. i happen to believe that your current supply of orenda is unusually abundant, gemini. w hat’s the best use you can make of it?

ca NcER (June 21-July 22):

w hen i lived in s anta Cruz years ago, some of my pub lished writings were illustrated by a local cartoonist named k arl Vidstrand. h is work was funny, outrageous and often offensive in the most entertaining ways. eventually he wandered away from our colorful, cre ative community and moved to a small town at the edge of California’s Mojave desert, near where the s pace s huttles landed. h e liked living at the fringes of

expAnded

w eekly

Audio

h oros Copes

l IBRa (s ept. 23-o ct. 22): At least once a day, a cell in your body mutates in a way that makes it potentially cancerous. Just as often, your immune system hunts down that dangerous cell and kills it, preserving your health. do you understand how amazing this is? you have a vigilant protector that’s always on duty, operating below the level of your awareness. w hat if i told you that this physical aspect of your organism has an equivalent psychic component? w hat if, in other words, you have within you a higher intelligence whose function it is to steer you away from useless trouble and dumb risks? i say there is such a thing. i say this other protector works best if you maintain a conscious relationship with it, asking it to guide you and instruct you. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to deepen your connection. Sco RPIo (o ct. 23-n ov. 21): s ome rules in the game of life don’t apply to you and can therefore be safely ignored. do you know which ones they are? o n the other hand, do you understand which of the rules in the game of life are crucial to observe if dAily

t ext

Mess Age

h oros Cope s:

aQUaRIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18 ): in the movie Fight Club, there is an animated scene at the very end that required an inordinate amount of time to produce. each frame in this scene took the editors eight hours to process. s ince there are 24 frames in each second, their work went on for three weeks. That’s the kind of attention to detail i recommend you summon as you devote yourself to your labor of love in the coming days, Aquarius. i think you know which specific parts of your creation need such intense focus.

REal aSt Rology.com

or 1-8 77-8 73-48 8 8

Che Ck

gEmINI

ca PRIco RN (dec. 22-Jan. 19): “ w hen you come right down to it,” says religion writer r abbi Marc gellman, “there are only four basic prayers. gimme! Thanks! o ops! and w ow!” personally, i would add a fifth type of prayer to gellman’s list: “do you need any assistance?” The Creator always needs collaborators to help imple ment the gritty details of the latest divine schemes. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you would be an excellent choice to volunteer for that role right now — especially in tasks that involve blending beautiful fragments, healing sad schisms, furthering peace negotiations and overcoming seemingly irreconcilable differences.

Astro/Quirks

your power animal is not the soaring eagle or the shrewd wolf or the brave bear. n o, t aurus, it’s the rubber chicken. i’m serious. w ith the rubber chicken as your guardian spirit, you might be inspired to commit random acts of goofiness and surrealism. And that would reduce tension in the people around you. it could motivate you to play jokes and pull harmless pranks that influence everyone to take themselves less seriously. Are you willing to risk losing your dignity if it helps make the general mood looser and

more generous? n othing could be better for group solidarity, which is crucial these days. (Thanks, gina w illiams.)

(Aug. 23- s ept. 22): “ w hen looking for a book, you may discover that you were in fact looking for the book next to it.” italian writer r oberto Calasso told that to The Paris Review , and now i’m passing it on to you. but i’d like you to expand upon its meaning, and regard it as a metaphor that applies to your whole life right now. every time you go searching for a specific something — a learning experience, an invigorating pleasure, a helpful influence — consider the possibility that what you really want and need is a different one that’s nearby.

Sag Itta RIUS (n ov. 22-dec. 21): “don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter,” wrote the persian mystic poet r umi. “it’s quiet, but the roots are down there riot ous.” i think you’re like that winter garden right now, s agittarius. o utwardly, there’s not much heat and flash. bright ideas and strong opinions are not pouring out of you at their usual rates. you’re not even prone to talking too loud or accidentally knock ing things over. This may in fact be as close as you can get to being a wallflower. And yet deep beneath the surface, out of sight from casual observers, you are charging up your psychic battery. The action down there is vibrant and vigorous.

SEVEN DAYS

ta URUS (April 20-May 20):

VIRgo

you want to translate your fondest dreams into real experiences? t o recognize the difference is a high art. i’m thinking that now would be an excellent time to solidify your mastery of this distinction. i suggest that you formally renounce your investment in the irrelevant rules and polish your skills at playing by the applicable rules.

02.27.13-03.06.13

Anticipating federal regulations for commercial drones in 2015, a San Francisco research lab launched Burrito Bomber, af ully automated Mexicanf ood delivery system. Its creators at Darwin Aerospace said they got the idea f rom a taco-delivery drone concept that never materialized but went viral on the internet. Darwin Aerospace’s video, posted on YouTube, shows a Darwin engineer setting a GPS location for the Burrito Bomber drone while an other loads a burrito into a canister with a parachute attached. Once airborne, the drone flies to the location and drops the canister to the recipient, who takes a bite. “We chose burritos because Mexicanf ood is really popular, and the name

l Eo (July 23-Aug. 22): The history of your

writes an internet denizen named Hasheeshee St. Frank. He gives only one example. The Big Dipper, he says, shall forevermore be known as The Star-Spangled Gas Can. I invite you to come up with additional substitutes, Pisces. It’s an excellent time for you to reshape and redefine the high and mighty things to which you have given away too much of your power. It’s a perfect moment to reconfigure your relationship with impersonal, overarching forces that have wielded a disproportionately large influence over your thoughts and feelings. How about if you call the constellation Orion by the new title of Three-Eyed Orangutan? Or instead of Pegasus, use the name Sexy Dolphin? Other ideas?

aRIES

Af ter receiving a 911 call about “a subject in a silver car sucking on a dildo” in park in Trenton, Mich., police Sgt. Steve Allen reported finding a Ford Fusion being driven by a 67-year-old man who admitted he was “sucking on a dildo.” Allen said the man apologized and “admitted to having a problem with sex toys.” He was arrested f or disor derly conduct in a public park, and the fleshcolored dildo was “confiscated and tagged as evidence #794.” (The Smoking Gun)

SEVENDAYSVt.com

Intending to reduce the sprawling wild boar population in Belgium’s northern f orests, wildlife officials near Postel organized a hunt and enlisted 200 hunters. They managed to kill only one of the animals. Dirk Bogaert, of the Flemish Agency f o Nature and Forestry, reported hunters spotted groups of about 60 animals but, except f or the one they did kill, the others slipped away, with some possibly fleeing across the border into the Netherlands. The agency said the hunters would share equally in the one animal they did shoot. (Reuters)

When Lollipops Aren’t Enough

by rob brezsny

“I

Why Hunters Need Assault Rifles

by the Pet Animal Care Facilities Program, a division of the Colorado Department of Agriculture. “Not every dog is a good swim mer,” program manager Kate Anderson explained. (Boulder’s Daily Camera)

more C omiCs ÂŤ p.80

82 comics

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more fun!

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signed,

Loose Lips

Dear Loose Lips,

Not to get all poetic on you, but labia are like snowflakes or fingerprints — no two are alike, and they’re all cool to look at. I suggest everyone — ladies and men alike — check out the Large Labia Project on Tumblr (careful, it’s not safe for work). This Tumblr blog’s goal is to show “the beauty of large, long, thick, fleshy vulva.” The blog invites women to submit photos of their vulvas, along with stories and feelings about their labia, which are then posted for all to see. The Large Labia Project has been gaining momentum and has been talked about on Jezebel and Slate, garnering some criticism for its “show-and-tell” approach to bolstering women’s self-esteem. Regardless of your stance on the approach, viewing other women’s vaginas and reading about their insecurities can be a hugely normalizing experience. And, for the dudes who venture over to the Large Labia Project, take note: Not all vulvas look alike, nor should they. Sadly, the cosmetic and medical industries are capitalizing on the homogenization of the female body by creating false standards of what is “normal” and “desirable.” That’s why women spend cash on everything from Brazilian waxes and anal bleaching to breast implants and vaginal rejuvenation. Do a search for “large labia” on Google, and you’ll be served ads for “Labia Reduction” and “Labiaplasty” — a procedure to correct “irregular” labia. Ridiculous! Labia come in all shapes and sizes — some lips are compact and tuck neatly into the labia majora, while others are voluminous and protrude gloriously outward. No cosmetic surgery needed.

Read My Lips,

need advice?

Email me at mistress@sevendaysvt.com or share your own advice on my blog at sevendaysvt.com/blogs

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Your guide to love and lust...

i Spy

If you’ve been spied, go online to contact your admirer!

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Redheaded gi Rl on shelbu Rne Road I see you often, long red hair and adorable laugh. I used to spy you more when you had your teal car, but now it’s black I guess? Harder for me to spot. You MUST be taken, too beautiful not to be. You hate to be called the wrong name, not Tina, or Gina, or even Serena ... you punk rocker you. When: Thursday, February 21, 2013. Where: shelburne Road plaza. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911036 aRaM As my world crumbles at my feet, you lift me above the rubble, reminding me of better days to come. I find solace in your arms, peace in your eyes, tenderness in your kiss. You save me from myself. I love you always, your Shelly When: Friday, February 22, 2013. Where: when i close my eyes. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911035 Midnite & Funkadelic To that boy who I saw twice in one week. Both times it was noisy and crowded. We didn’t get a chance to talk, although we did say hi as we walked past each other at one point. Can I see you again? When: Monday, February 4, 2013. Where: upstairs nectar’s & hg . You: Man. Me: Woman. #911034 capitol gRounds Wednesda Y Mo Rning 2/20 We were both waiting for our order. You: wearing black boots, a blue Columbia jacket and a nose ring in your left nostril. Me: in a blue plaid wool jacket. You had some pretty good energy, which led me to smile and say hi as I walked by, and 2/25/13 7:05 PM say bye as I went bye bye. So here I am writing my first I Spy. Meet again? When: Wednesday, February 20, 2013. Where: capitol grounds Montpelier. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911033

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Illadelph

75 Main St., Burlington, VT 864.6555 Mon-Thur 10-9; F-Sat 10-10; Sun 12-7 facebook.com/VTNorthernLights

o oo-la-long My apologies barista but there was a mistake in my ad last week - I am actually a man, not a woman. I want you to know what to look out for. Thank you for the great recommendation this week. When: sunday, February 17, 2013. Where: dobra t ea. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #911032 co FFee With You? On College St. Wednesday 20th, 9:30 a.m. near Boutilier’s. You: with your bike. Me: multicolored hat and purple scarf. Wanted to ask your name today - not the first time we’ve exchanged ‘hellos’ and you’ve served me coffee where you work. Feeling profoundly shy and yet curious to know if I gave you my number would you call? When: Wednesday, February 20, 2013. Where: college street. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911031 h aven’t seen You Yet Heard from a mutual friend that you’ve seen me in the Meat Room and wanted to know if I was single. You haven’t introduced yourself yet and I’m wondering what’s up with that? I’m an open book, no need for you to stay a secret admirer. When: Wednesday, February 20, 2013. Where: Where will i see you? You: Woman. Me: Man. sWeet caRegive R I spy you every morning. Thought you lived here ... came to find out your profession this morning; I commend you. You’re beautiful. Are you single? You: 5’3”, glasses, very friendly, gr8 bmile and sultry eyes. Me: you know because I let you in the building most days. When: Wednesday, February 20, 2013. Where: st. paul street. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911029

petite cutie Wo Rkin’ the gnc I looked. You looked. I turned around. You were still looking. My question: Were you just checkin’ me out or were you staring because my blissfully unaware disabled buddy’s sweatpants had (unbeknownst to me) dropped around his ankles as we walked? (the elastic had finally worn out). I would’ve said hi, but as you can imagine, I had more pressing concerns. When: t uesday, February 19, 2013. Where: mall. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911028 konichi Wa! gentle Men FaRMeR Interesting, the cycle of life intrigues me too. Checked you out. Would share some harvest with you sometime. Let’s get to know each other. When: Monday, February 18, 2013. Where: pages of life. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911027 MY hea Rt boo Ms Fo R You You: my dream girl became my reality and defined serendipity perfectly. I am so lucky to have the most beautiful, amazing girl as part of my world. Mmbgff I heart your heart. When: t uesday, February 19, 2013. Where: wrapped around my <3! You: Woman. Me: Woman. #911026 You Rocked MY Wo Rld too You and I meet in the most romantic way at a 7DVT singles party in July! We have been to three others since. The last one we went together in Essex cooking up some love! Now that time has come love you :(. thank you! “Miss you always hun.” When: Monday, February 18, 2013. Where: not soon enough 16 years apart. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911025 We signed i l ove You You were driving to work, so was I. We passed on Exchange Street and we signed each other “I love you.” I turned around to see if I could catch up with you, but there were too many people in the parking lot. I miss you my silver Ram and want to talk! Love always, Your Little Lamb When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: exchange street Middlebury. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911024 happ Y 23Rd lau Ren I spy one of my best friends turning 23 this saturday! Can’t wait for our spa day and crazy night shenanigans! I’m so lucky to have you as one of my best friends! Thank you for being you! Love you & keep flossing! When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: l uke bryan’s house. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #911023 dRead Y MaMa With dog I was standing outside Capitol Grounds as you walked up with your pup. You told me I could pet her while you went inside. I wanted to ask you your name and talk to you more but your friend was there talking to you. I hope you read this and want to get coffee with me. When: saturday, February 16, 2013. Where: capitol grounds Montpelier. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911022 You can caRve MY t ende Rloin You were walking downtown with friends wearing chef whites, and my eye was on YOU. As I was walking by I overheard you talking about meat, but all the meat I want to discuss is your ass. You seem like the type of guy who I could move out to Oregon with and raise a family of Eagle Scouts. When: saturday, February 16, 2013. Where: downtown Montpelier. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911021

l iz at vt Fcu OK, you are somewhat new here and it would seem like we have exchanged glances a couple of times. You also want to know the benefits of my situation. Maybe coffee or lunch sometime? What do you think? When: Friday, February 15, 2013. Where: vt Fcu . You: Woman. Me: Man. #911020 ove Rlook pa Rk jogge R I saw you. You saw me. I bombed a hill for you. You took off jogging. Your spandex was tight. Lookin’ alrite. Maybe I will see you again sometime. When: Friday, February 15, 2013. Where: o verlook park. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911019 i2pad Would love to Meet I saw you - was it on the net? - that outdoorsy look. I am captivated. Must I pay to reach you? I think naught - here I am. Let me know it is you! Your blue eyes, blond hair playing in the snow. Cancer to my Capricorn. When: Friday, February 15, 2013. Where: colchester. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911018 nuRse Who Makes MY daY Every morning my first thoughts are of you, and every night I fall asleep with you on my mind. I have never been as happy as with you. I am so excited for our future together. When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: bowling alley bar. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911017 valentines Mo Rning tag on 89 s We played tag on 89S around 10 a.m., then parted with a wave at the Stowe exit when I went right, you left. You: pretty brunette, grey car. Me: dark hair, white GTI. Let’s get a drink - we’ve got a great story to start with! Know you made that drive even more fun than it already was. Happy Valentine’s Day! When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: 89s, stowe exit. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911016 5 p. M. on valentine’s daY As we passed by the crosswalk, you said “nice to see you” As I walked away, I turned back and realized we used to know each other! Anyway, nice to see you again, too. How unfortunate that we didn’t have a conversation. When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: the top of church street. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911015 MY deaR Hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day! Miss you, love you, am you. When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: by the sea. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911014 You With the badge Thank you for accepting my perpetual spinning wheels; for patiently quieting them when the axle is too burdened. In turn, I welcome the twitches, quirks, dedication to reclaiming, oh and the infinite supply of sweet tarts. When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: with clarity. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #911013 dave g. I spy the best boyfriend ever. You make me happy when I’m sad and you are still the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I love you, I love you, I love you. When: Thursday, February 14, 2013. Where: all over my heart and in our crappy bed. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911012 7 daYs single pa Rt Y We walked into the Seven Days singles party at the same time, shared several glances throughout the evening, but alas were not placed in the same group. I was a number 1, I think you were a 3. Unfortunately an opportunity for introduction never presented itself, maybe this is it? When: Thursday, February 7, 2013. Where: seven days single party, essex. You: Man. Me: Woman. #911011 v-daY double date We are two good-looking athletic guys looking to go out to dinner and have an interesting and fun Valentine’s night with a couple likeminded attractive chicks. Obviously we are chill, fun and outgoing ... or else we wouldn’t have posted this advertisement! Dinner reservation is already booked for Sweetwaters at 7 p.m. When: t uesday, February 12, 2013. Where: burlington. You: Woman. Me: Man. #911010

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