Saying "Yes" to Teens

One of the biggest misconceptions within the realm of foster care is how difficult it is to connect with teens. The main reason for this thought process is that since teens who haven’t experienced trauma are already hard to reach, a teen that has been through hard times must be even more guarded. The truth, however, is that while building relationship with a teenager in foster care may take more time and perseverance, it is deeply rewarding.

Last year, Carla* was volunteering at MercyPlace, a 4KIDS Specialized Home for teenage girls in foster care. A few times a week, she would assist the house mom by driving the girls to and from their extracurricular activities. It was during these commutes that she developed a bond with 15-year-old Ashley*.

At first, Ashley would have her headphones in and spent most of the drive listening to music. As Carla became a familiar face, however, in time Ashley began to reveal small pieces of her heart and personality. Soon Carla learned that Ashley was an honors student, played the tuba in the school band, and dreamt of going to college and becoming an entrepreneur.

“On one of our drives we were talking about what kind of parttime job she could get. I gave her the kind of advice I would give my daughter or niece. I wanted her to know she was capable of anything she put her mind to,” Carla shared. Over the next few months, Carla and Ashley became incredibly close, so much so that Ashley spent the Christmas break with Carla and her husband.

“I tell her constantly— I’m here for you in the long run. Even if you don’t want me I’m still going to be there,” Carla added. Their relationship is not without its ups and downs, but Carla knows that she is one of the few positive influences in Ashley’s life. Most recently, they celebrated Ashley's sweet sixteen together, a monumental birthday!

We're thankful for individuals like Carla who choose to say "yes" to something as easy as volunteering, and then decide to welcome a young woman into their family!

*Names and photo were changed to protect the idenity of the kids we serve