ROMANTICS ANONYMOUS (excerpt) Book by Emma Rice, Lyrics by Chris Dimond, Music by Michael Kooman

PRODUCTION DRAFT 23.01.2020

ROMANTICS ANONYMOUS Book by Emma Rice Lyrics by Christopher Dimond Music by Michael Kooman

Based on the screenplay by Jean Pierre Ameris and Philippe Blasband

PRE SHOW. ANGELIQUE, around 30 years old, is discovered in her kitchen, making chocolate.

ANGELIQUE puts on an apron and starts to work with care, skill and purpose.

While she is doing this, a chorus of STORYTELLERS mingle with the audience and give each one a piece of chocolate.

Using French and elaborate sign language, they warn the audience to show restraint. They must wait; they must not eat the chocolate yet.

As the lights go down, ANGELIQUE begins to sing, in French. She sings softly and seductively ... But we can't understand her!

Music Cue #1: When It’s Just Right ANGELIQUE JUSTE UNE PETITE FEVE. DONT LA BEAUTE EST CACHE. ELLE EST SOUS LA SURFACE, OUI, ET PRESQUE INVISIBLE. CHOCOLAT DONNE AU MONDE UN GOUT SUCRE, SI’L EST PARFAIT. At the end of the first verse, she gets back to her chocolate making and one of the STORYTELLERS addresses the audience. ANGELIQUE obviously does not see or hear what is being said.

STORYTELLER 1 Bonjour! Nous sommes Francais et ceci est une histoire Francaise. Mais nous sommes ici a Bristol! au Bristol Old Vic! Et il faut que vous compreniez les mots que nous disons... donc... Nous avons besoin de magie, n'es-ce pas?!

Ah! Mais oui! Bien! Prenez vos chocolats! Ouvrez vos chocolats... (translation) Bonjour! We are French and this is a French story. But this is Bristol - The Bristol Old Vic! And we want you to understand our story, to enjoy our tale. Ah yes! We need some magic, do we not?! Good! Now, take your chocolates! Open your chocolates.

With the power mime, the STORYTELLERS encourage the audience to hold their chocolates in their hands.

2.

Et maintenant, A trois, mange-les, un, deux, trois‚ The audience pop the chocolates into their mouths and there is a flash of gold. Is it magic? No, it is ANGELIQUE sprinkling glitter on her chocolates!

STORYTELLER 1 now speaks in English!

Parfait! Or should I say perfect! These chocolates are just a little bit magic, in fact chocolate is, in general a little bit magic, and now we can all understand each other just fine. Let's get back to Angelique and our story.

The STORYTELLERS watch as ANGELIQUE begins to sing, this time in English.

ANGELIQUE JUST A HUMBLE BEAN. ITS BEAUTY LIES UNTAPPED, UNSEEN. ALL THE FLAVOUR'S LOCKED INSIDE, IT'S HIDING DOWN BELOW. SAFELY OUT OF SIGHT. CRACK THE SHELLS LIKE SO. STIR THE BEANS AND GENTLY BLOW. WATCH THE HUSKS TAKE FLIGHT. CHOCOLATE BRINGS THE BEAUTIFUL TO LIGHT WHEN IT'S JUST RIGHT. STORYTELLER 2 This is Angelique Delange.

STORYTELLER 3 She believes in love at first sight, crop circles, and above all, the magical power of chocolate.

ANGELIQUE NEXT YOU SLOWLY GRIND. 'TIL THE COCOA'S BEEN REFINED. SURE, IT TAKES FOREVER BUT WITH CHOCOLATE HASTE MAKES WASTE. SO, YOU'RE UP ALL NIGHT. SNEAK A LITTLE TASTE. AND THE WORLD IS SOON ERASED. LOST IN SHEER DELIGHT. CHOCOLATE MAKES THE DARKNESS SOMEHOW BRIGHT WHEN IT'S JUST RIGHT. STORYTELLER 3 Throughout her early academic career, Angelique had the dubious distinction of fainting each and every time she spoke up in class.

3.

STORYTELLER 2 She also fainted during school assembly, hockey practice, and junior school performance of Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

STORYTELLER 1 Perhaps not coincidentally, she has been described as “exceedingly odd” by teachers, ex-lovers, and, on more than one occasion, her own mother.

ANGELIQUE EVERY STEP: PRECISION, MEASURED AND CONTROLLED. LIQUID GOLD PERFECTION AS YOU POUR IT IN THE MOULD. ADD A FEW BOLD, AND DON'T YOU SO UNLIKE

INGREDIENTS BRAVE, AND NEW. LOVE HOW CHOCOLATE IS YOU?

MORE THAN JUST A TREAT. THOUGH IT'S TRULY BITTERSWEET. BITTERNESS IS WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THE TASTE COMPLETE. DARK, OR MILK, OR WHITE. IT MAY NOT BE LIKE LIFE, BUT THEN AGAIN, IT MIGHT. CHOCOLATE HOLDS THE WORLD IN EVERY BITE WHEN IT'S JUST RIGHT. ANGELIQUE and all the STORYTELLERS take a bite.

MMM.

STORYTELLERS The chocolates are finished and, my!

They look fantastic! ANGELIQUE looks content and pleased with herself.

STORYTELLER 3 Today of all days, though, Angelique is not thinking about fainting.

STORYTELLER 1 Today of all days, she is not thinking about teachers, exlovers, or even her mother.

STORYTELLER 2 Today, you see, is the day that will change everything.

Suddenly the kitchen transforms into a public hall.

4.

Music Cue #1A: Loizeau ANGELIQUE stands holding her pieces of chocolates. She looks terrified and very nervous.

STORYTELLER 1 For today Angelique enters the prestigious Chocolate Fair of Lyon, where her delicate creations will be judged by a panel of experts including world renowned chef, food critic, and embodiment of every French cliche...

Jean-Jac Loizeau.

STORYTELLERS STORYTELLER 1 transitions into LOIZEAU costume as the others become the JURY.

JURY MEMBER 1 WHO WROTE THE GOSPEL OF CROISSANTS? JURY IT’S LA LA LA LA LA LOIZEAU. JURY MEMBER 2 WHO KNOWS WHAT EVERY FRENCH TONGUE WANTS? JURY IT’S LA LA LA LA LA LOIZEAU. JURY MEMBER 3 WHAT PASTRY CRITIC HAVE YOU SEEN ON THE FRENCH FOOD NETWORK MAGAZINE? JURY WHO HOSTS THE GREAT FRENCH BAKE OFF SHOW? LOIZEAU! LOIZEAU! LOIZEAU! LOIZEAU. I’M LOIZEAU.

LOIZEAU JURY LOIZEAU

Hello. Now, let us see what we have here!

He examines her exhibits which are all chocolates.

5.

Tell me, Mademoiselle... how did you make this delicate pattern?

ANGELIQUE blushes. She has a very strained smile.

Well?

LOIZEAU ANGELIQUE remains perfectly still. The other members of the jury stare at ANGELIQUE.

LOIZEAU Let me make it simpler for you.

(He speaks as if he is speaking to a child or a foreigner) Is it while you are working the chocolate, or after?

ANGELIQUE remains frozen. LOIZEAU is beginning to get frustrated, cross even.

LOIZEAU Very well. If you do not want me to use words, I will employ my tongue in a different way.

He sticks out his tongue. ANGELIQUE looks close to tears.

LOIZEAU picks up a chocolate, places it on his tongue and slowly closes his mouth. The jury gather round, intent on his reaction. His manner begins to soften as we see his face reflect the flavours he is experiencing. He clearly likes what he is tasting.

The jury gather even tighter, but one member stands a little bit apart from the others. He is also tasting ANGELIQUE's chocolates with increasing interest. This is Mr. MERCIER, a small man, old, dapper and very elegant.

LOIZEAU CONT..

This chocolate... it is so shy, that it becomes bold, so fragile, that it becomes strong. This chocolate demands to live! And lives with almost too much intensity! Tell me, how did you create such flavours?

ANGELIQUE is frozen.

6.

LOIZEAU What is wrong with you? I give you my time, my expertise, and my praise and you give me nothing. We are waiting. All of us, waiting for you, and you stand there like a statue. I said, answer me!

JURY (underneath his speech)

HMM. HMM. LA LA LA LA LA. LA LA LA LA LA.

ANGELIQUE gasps and then collapses. The jury shrug and exit, leaving only MONSIEUR MERCIER Boff!

LOIZEAU & JURY Music Cue #2: Wings

MERCIER Miss?... Are you alright?

MERCIER helps ANGELIQUE to her feet.

Your chocolates are excellent. Everything scares you, right?

Talking to people, going to the store, living life, Monsieur Loizeau? Tying cravats?

She turns towards him.

You too?

ANGELIQUE

MERCIER I hide it. It can be done with a little work. Even the most frightened little bird can learn to soar. I am living proof!

Now, here’s a thought...

I HAVE NEVER TASTED CHOCOLATE QUITE LIKE YOURS. SUCH A RARE COMPLEXITY THAT EVERY FLAVOR EXPLORES. I CAN SEE YOUR TALENT. YOU’VE BEEN TRULY GRACED. IT WOULD BE A SIN TO LET THAT SPECIAL GIFT GO TO WASTE. CALM YOUR TREMBLING HANDS, DEAR. SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS, DEAR. AND I’VE GOT A SCHEME THAT I THINK WE SHOULD TRY. PEOPLE HAVE A CRAVING. WE COULD HAVE THEM RAVING. LET ME GIVE YOU WINGS AND I’M SURE THAT YOU’LL FLY.

7.

STORYTELLER 2 And that’s how Angelique met Monsieur Mercier, who owned a beautiful chocolate shop called Mercier’s.

MERCIER I’VE BEEN ON THE HUNT FOR SOMETHING QUITE UNIQUE. A SIGNATURE NEW LINE TO REDEFINE MY CHOCOLATE BOUTIQUE. NO NEED TO BE FRIGHTENED, YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT. YOU CAN WORK FROM HOME COMPLETELY TUCKED AWAY OUT OF SIGHT. ANGELIQUE I can’t. I understand what you're saying... what you are singing... but I truly can't. My heart is racing, my throat is tight and I'm so, so tired. I can’t.

You can.

MERCIER

THINK WHAT THIS COULD MEAN, DEAR. YOU’LL REMAIN UNSEEN, DEAR. FRIGHTENED LITTLE BIRD, THERE’S NO NEED TO BE SHY. NO ONE TO OBSERVE YOU. NOTHING TO UNNERVE YOU. OPEN UP YOUR WINGS FOR IT’S TIME THAT YOU FLY. Follow me.

Dance break.

ANGELIQUE WHAT A SWEET TEMPTATION, THIS COLLABORATION. BOTH TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH AND WE’LL SOAR THROUGH THE SKY. CHOCOLATE SO RESPLENDENT. UTTERLY TRANSCENDENT. TIME TO SPREAD OUR WINGS, AND WE’LL LEARN HOW TO FLY. They shake hands. Angelique has decided to take the job Music Cue #2A: When It’s Just Right (Reprise) STORY TELLER 1 So Angelique stayed safe at home; no one watching, no one knowing - and no one cheering.

STORYTELLER 2 And in this peaceful, buttery bubble she made the most heavenly chocolates.

8.

STORYTELLER 3 She ventured out only twice a week, to deliver orders to Monsieur Mercier's shop...

ANGELIQUE deposits beautiful Mercier boxes on the counter of his chic little shop...

A customer (JEAN RENE) enters the shop.

ANGELIQUE and JEAN RENE see one another. There is an instant, mysterious connection.

One box, please.

JEAN RENE Shy, ANGELIQUE hides behind MERCIER.

STORYTELLER 1 Monsieur Mercier explained to his customers that she was only the delivery person...

MERCIER She is only the delivery person!

MERCIER counts out bank notes. He pays ANGELIQUE. ANGELIQUE pockets the money.

She salutes Mr. MERCIER with a nod.

STORYTELLER 1 ...and that the person who made the chocolate lived in hiding and would never be found, never be seen.

A recluse if you like.

A chocolate savant!

STORYTELLER 3 STORYTELLER 2

MERCIER A recluse, I say. A chocolate savant!

STORYTELLER 2 She worked for three years like that, quietly, happily, invisibly for Monsieur Mercier.

Through this next verse we see JEANRENE opening the box he has just bought. He savours a single, beautiful chocolate with an almost primal pleasure.

ANGELIQUE ISN'T THIS PERFECTION?

9.

SOARING THROUGH THE AIR. MERCIER'S PROTECTION IS THE ANSWER TO A PRAYER. I REMAIN ANONYMOUS, MY CHOCOLATE EARNS RENOWN. I DON'T THINK THAT ANYTHING COULD BRING ME DOWN. The chorus hang a LARGE PHOTO of Mr. MERCIER over his door, with a black ribbon at the corner.

ANGELIQUE crumples. She falls. She is adrift.

No...

ANGELIQUE (CONT’D) The STORYTELLERS look down at this heap of sorrow.

STORYTELLER 2 After Monsieur Mercier's death, Angelique locked herself away from the world.

Barely eating...

Barely breathing...

STORYTELLER 1 STORYTELLER 3

STORYTELLER 2 And never making chocolate. (beat) STORYTELLER 1 Time to get up, dear. These things happen.

ANGELIQUE These things? This isn't a 'thing'?

Time to move on.

STORYTELLER 3

ANGELIQUE I can't. I can't think, I can't move.

Then get some help.

STORYTELLER 3 STORYTELLER 1 hands ANGELIQUE a flyer.

She looks at it and slowly gets to her feet. The STORYTELLERS exit.

10.

ANGELIQUE (reading) Les Emotifs Anonymes.

ANGELIQUE leaves.

JEAN RENE enters. He is in his 30's. He is wearing a terribly clashing shirt and tie. He is a fashion disaster.

Clearly wound tight, he trips up. He picks himself up and goes to his office pretending that nothing has happened.

STORYTELLER 4 Welcome to the Chocolate Factory!

STORYTELLER 4 gestures to the neon sign which pings on. The CHOCOLATIERS enter.

This is Jean Rene Vandengehugde. He believes in cryptic puzzles, instruction manuals, and the soothing power of his dwindling supply of Mercier Chocolates.

He does not believe in luck or happily ever afters.

He has been described as a “disappointment” by his staff, his grandmother, and, on more than one occasion, his dentist.

Hello.

This is Magda.

Hello.

JEAN RENE STORYTELLER 4 MAGDA

LUDO She has worked here since the beginning of time.

Oi! This is Suzanne.

Alright.

MAGDA STORYTELLER 4 SUZANNE

LUDO Bookkeeping, administration and HR. Living the dream.

SUZANNE