November 3, 2011

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

11.02.11 INSIDE: PAGE 13

PAGE 18

3 HIGHBROW A poignant reaction to Philly Diner's closing.

DISPATCHES, OVERHEARD AT PENN, TOASTS AND ROASTS HALLOWEEKEND ROUND UP, WORD ON THE STREET.

4 EGO Bursar a massage; we won't tell.

POTTRUCK WITHOUT SWEATING, REFLECTIVE SURFACES, EGO OF THE WEEK RUDRA PAMPATI.

6 FOOD & DRINK Ms. Pac–Man, only with beer this time.

BARCADE REVIEW, COOKING WITH LA COPINE'S NIKKI HILL.

9 FEATURE Penn grads in education.

INNER CITY SCHOOLS IN CRISIS.

12 MUSIC

THIS IS MY EMO LETTER. EMOOO.

FROMTHEEDITOR

I

have a theory about being brilliant. If you do something I don’t know how to do, then you must be the best at it.

Take architecture. If you are an architect, I think you are the most brilliant architect that ever existed, simply because I have no idea what an architect does or how one would architect anything anyway. You are brilliant.

You can show me a model of a decrepit house, but if it looks complicated and is on a computer, I'm impressed.

The same theory applies to everybody who does things I don’t know how to do: play guitar, cook with patience, problem sets, dance like a normal person, clean my room.

The list goes on.

If the theory works, and if you've never contributed to Street, you may think that I am the best Streeter that ever lived. And here I am to prove you, and my theory, totally and completely wrong. Oooh… this is gonna’ get real meta real fast.

Those names down there, those guys are the brilliant ones. They win awards in design and with words. They put this lil’ ol’ rag together without (OK, with minimal)

complaints. They drink classy beer. They discuss movies drunk, high or sober (34st. com). They (hopefully) entertain you with gossip (p. 3), reviews (like every page, c’mon) and humor (p. 18). They let you know when Shoutouts are coming (hold yer’ horses, people). They certainly rock.

I hope most people feel that way about those they work with. And play with.

With single–digit months left (this is my aaaaaahhhhhhh face) I’m constantly reminded to surround myself with my favorite people. The ones that make singing “Africa” at Smoke’s memorable, ones that will venture to drag shows, ones that will generally enhance COLLEGE–WOO–HOO. And the ones that slap me out of sap fests like these, so I can remember to embrace all the brilliance.

Street your heart out,

Like Lou Reed + Metallica.

FALL COLLABORATIONS, DECEMBERISTS REVIEW, DEFIBRILLATOR.

14 FILM BBC to the rescue!

CLASS READING ADAPTATIONS, THE SKIN I LIVE IN AND LIKE CRAZY REVIEWS.

16 ARTS

We think you somethin' too.

Jokes go down better with alcohol.

BYE BYE LIVER COMEDY BAR, FIRST FRIDAY PREVIEW.

Come say hi.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

18 LOWBROW

2

Look at you walking by those classroom windows like you somethin'.

Catch her if you can.

WHERE AT PENN IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?, RANT OF THE WEEK, HOMECOMING TOP TEN.

STREET Writers' Meeting 6:30 p.m. TONIGHT 4015 Walnut St.

20 BACK PAGE Hurrah, hurrah Pennsylvania!

HOMECOMING GUIDE.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Jessica Goodman, Editor–in–Chief Nick Stergiopoulos, Managing Editor Frida Garza, Design Editor Kendall Haupt, Online Managing Editor Joshua Goldman, Feature Tucker Johns, Feature Paige Rubin, Highbrow Stephanie Rice, A Little Less Highbrow Faryn Pearl, Ego Leah Steinberg, Ego Mady Glickman, Food & Drink Nina Wolpow, Food & Drink

Sam Brodey, Music Jake Spinowitz, Music Hilary Miller, Film Shelby Rachleff, Film Ellie Levitt, Arts Megan Ruben, Arts Anthony Khaykin, Lowbrow Sandra Rubinchik, Lowbrow Will Baskin–Gerwitz, Back Page Alex Hosenball, Copy Alexandra Jaffe, Copy Adrian Franco, Photo

UnderTheButton.com

Morgan Finkelstein, Managing Editor Michael Arnstein, Associate Editor Ian Bussard, Associate Editor Monika Knapp, Associate Editor Lora Rosenblum, Associate Editor Sandra Rubinchik, Associate Editor AJ Thomas, Associate Editor COVER DESIGN: CHLOE BOWER AND ZEKE SEXAUER

Contributors: Dawn Androphy, Eillie Anzilotti, Daniel Blasberg, Chloe Bower, Patrick Del Valle, Patrick Ford– Matz, Brian Horwich, Isaac Kaplan, Louise Malle, Bridget McGeehan, Zacchaius McKee, Jack Nessman, Isabel Oliveres, Anna Pan, John Petsagourakis, Lauren Reed–Guy,

Zeke Sexauer, Manon Vergerio Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Jessica Goodman, Editor-–in–Chief, at goodman@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "They literally took pizza rolls and put Chinese sauce on them. Like Chinese pizza. Again." ©2011 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published

by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

ST

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

DISPATCHES: The Itch You Can't Scratch

SEND IN THE QUEENS

BY ZACCHIAUS MCKEE

Tues. 11 a.m.: Mom calls to say she thinks she got bed bug bites from the B&B we stayed at. There was a lot of floral print there.

Tues. 2:05 p.m.: Notice clusters of bites on arms.

Web MD diagnosis: bed bug bites. Whole body itches.

Wed. 8:05 a.m.: Wake up and count dozens of bites.

Screw it, I’m skipping class to go to Housing Services.

Wed. 9:37 a.m.: Burliest man ever tells me he’s sending his men in to investigate.

Wed. 11:59 a.m.: I see a note in my room saying they have found no bed bugs. This doesn’t mean anything.

Just because they can’t see the bugs doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

Thurs. 11:28 p.m.: Sleep on my couch in a sleeping bag. But I probably contaminated the couch today or yesterday from sitting on it in my bed buggy clothes.

Thankfully, tomorrow they're bringing in the bed bug sniffing hounds. Yes, they exist.

Fri. 12:11 a.m.: Many villages of bed bugs are here

with me. They feast upon me.

Fri. 12:26 a.m.: I feel them crawl across my forehead.

Armpit. Ankle. Belly button. Under–elbow.

Fri. 12:53 a.m.: I want to kill something. Particularly: bed bugs.

Fri. 2:03 a.m.: I calculate that 50% or more of my clothing is now infected. And soon my roommates will have them.

Fri. 2:05 a.m.: Pretty soon my whole apartment will be infested. And then the whole building. And then the whole world.

Fri. 2:11 a.m.: This is too much for one mere mortal.

Fri. 12:23 p.m.: The dogs didn’t find any bed bugs.

Roommate informs me that the dogs were cute.

Fri. 1:00 p.m.: Go to Student Health. Kind nurse practitioner looks at bites. Prescribes Eucerin.

Fri. 2:24 p.m.: Purchase lotion. Apply liberally.

Fri. 4:11 p.m.: Bed bug bites disappear. It was dry skin. Apparently, the changing weather can do that.

P U D N U O R ROASTS TOASTS OASTS OAST N E E HALLOW &

at

Jappy bitch: Maybe it’s time to start thinking more about finding a boyfriend. You only have about five good years; let’s be honest.

Lonely boy: The day I joined ZBT is the day we stopped being friends.

Math guy: And he was like, everything you know about trig is a lie! Cosine equals 2ix! And I was like no! No! Girl in a car parked at 40th and Spruce: We’re driving to FroGro! Devastated dude: Philly Diner closed for good?! Shoot me in the motherfuckin’ face!

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

You guys have done it now. You broke Toasts & Roasts by being on your absolute worst behavior this past Halloweekend. This is why we can't have nice things.

So rather than get all roasty–toasty with your antics, we decided to round up all of our favorite scandalous stories.

Halloween costumes tend to test the limits of what's appropriate. Somehow, lingerie passes as an acceptable costume. Do you guys know what's neither sexy nor appropriate? Racism. We hear two senior girls dressed up as Biggie and Tupac by wearing blackface and baggy jeans. Meanwhile, a Capo barista dressed as an Aryan complete with bright blue contacts, a blonde wig and a military uniform. Why? Just… why?

For some of you, all the dressing up and shots and slutty costumes and additional shots really got you tired. One sleepyhead senior even fell asleep on the toilet at Smoke's. On the one hand, that's actually disgusting, but on the other hand… happens to the best of us.

We hear the baseball house party had an unwelcome visitor this weekend.

An unidentified woman with a sketchy backpack crashed their party Saturday night and refused to leave after the hosts asked who she was with. After repeatedly being asked to leave, the woman bolted for the door and fell flat on her face, eventually getting carted out by ambulance. This gave the police the opportunity to search her backpack, in which they found airplane–sized bottles of alc, prescription drugs that weren't hers and a Copa apron, where she works as a waitress. So many questions.

We thought that you guys left kleptomania behind in October, but it seems that isn't so. Someone made off with four composites and a taxidermized elk head from Kappa Sig this Friday. Disgraceful. Impressive, but disgraceful nonetheless.

Some stole from frats, others from sororities. Last week Theos sent out an email explaining some kind of mystery event happening tomorrow, but the secret's out. Highbrow hears the boys are holding a fake Woodser, in the same place where TriDelt holds theirs annually. Don't worry, girls. We all know that THEOW — The Old Woodser — is the best Woodser. Besides, when TriDelt holds a party in a forest, it's cute. When Theos does it, it seems kinda axe–murdery.

over heard PENN

I have not one, but two, My Heart Will Go On dance remixes on my iPod. I consider Amanda Bynes to be my spirit animal and I think the fact that The Devil Wears Prada isn’t on Netflix streaming is a crime against humanity. I’m pretty gay, and I’m proud of it.

However, I tried my best to blend in during high school. Really, I did. I was a shrinking violet. My classmates couldn’t pick me out of a one–person line up. Like Mia from The Princess Diaries, my goal in life was to be invisible, and I was good at it. Also like Mia, I was unjustly thrust into a strange new role and left to fend for myself. But instead of getting to be the capital–Q Queen of the strange and beautiful Genovia, I had to face being a regular queen at the strange and beautiful University of Pennsylvania. And I effing loved it. It’s cliche to say that acceptance and diversity are at the heart of the Penn community, but for a suburban wallflower–of–a–boy, the confidence inspired by such surroundings is unparalleled.

I took my newfound confidence and self–assurance in stride. I went to parties, made gay friends, got involved and in one strange incident had an unfortunate sexual encounter in a Houston Hall bathroom. In short, I became really slutty. And I’m okay with that. The positive reversal in my attitude is so great that sometimes I have to do cartwheels down Locust Walk, simply because I haven’t reached my gay quota for the day.

Amidst one of these forays down Locust, I was once greeted with some rather harsh language: “Ha, what a fag.” Oh, God. Here come the tears.

These guys are going to see me curl up into the fetal position right in front of Au Bon Pain.

Wait. Why was I laughing? What happened to the high–school–me who could be crushed with a single word? Why did I find that this whole situation was surprisingly… funny?

My first small encounter with homophobia at Penn was luckily brief and impersonal. I think it’s a testament, however, to the greater Penn community that I did not experience something like this much sooner or in a more dangerous form. The fact that I responded with a laugh and a quick Z–snap rather than bursting into tears like Brad Pitt in Seven (what’s in the box?!) truly shows that Penn offers a learning community outside the classroom.

The acceptance and sense of solidarity I feel from people all over the Penn community may not have changed how some others view me, but they have definitely given me the confidence to change how I view myself. I’ve decided that I want to be a fag. Because, in the end, I’d much rather be a fag than afraid.

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EGO

POTTRUCK FOR THE BORED AND LAZY How to go to the gym without breaking a sweat.

Y

ou are a regular college student. You eat a barrel of chicken nuggets before every meal. Don’t be alienated by the sweaty people in the windows; they’re just on the treadmills so they can watch TV — or stare at food trucks. Pottruck is for you, even if just the thought of walking to the fourth floor for a class has you reaching for the anti–persp.

1) Showing up is enough.

First, make the rounds.

Show that you’re there, that you exist. Make sure to look smugly at the poor dopes on the treadmills. Pottruck is a place to be seen. Interest in physical fitness is just an alibi.

2) If you’re really fixed on doing something someone might call exercise, look to Yoga or Pilates. Yoga is exercise for the Buddha. Pilates is exercise for infants. Both are known for gently easing you into a comfortable animal–themed sitting position. Neither are known for their athleticism.

Just like you.

3) But seriously, there’s so much more to Pottruck than that. For example, there’s the sauna. Since people sweat when they exercise, and people sweat in a sauna, and you are a person, you should get in the sauna and never leave. Plus, if a Stranger–Heart–To–Heart is going to happen anywhere, it’s going to be the sauna. Or

a stopped elevator. But a sauna you can plan! Drop your pants, grab a towel and start talking.

4) If we’re dealing in stereotypes — and we usually are — the golf simulator is schmooze– a–thon training ground for a future captain of industry like you. You’re going to have a boss one day, and, with the sorry state of gender equality in this country, he’s going to want to golf, and you’re going to want to be there. So get good now.

That’s what college is for.

5) All this thinking about the future is stressful. Everything is stressful. You’re under a lot of stress and I just don’t know how you do it. Get a massage (every Tuesday and Thursday)

CHECK YOURSELF

and then BURSAR it. And after your parents call to scream at you for BURSARing a massage, get another massage. Angry parents can be stressful.

6) A good way to cope with stress is through food. Yes, many would say that the point of Pottruck is to burn calories,

Every reflective surface at Penn offers a quick adjustment or self–esteem boost — you just need to know where to look. Here's what's good and bad about some of the most notorious non–mirrors on campus. BY FARYN PEARL & LEAH STEINBERG

Back of Huntsman on Walnut

Levine Hall

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

Good: Glass is flat and

4

Good: The side of the building hosts a sequence of large mirrors side–by– side; perfect to check yourself out when you’re on the run.

Bad: It’s on the way to DRL, so this surface offers a chance for true reflection.

For example, what has your life come to?

Huntsman is the baddest cylinder we know, so every few steps, your image jumps to another window. It’s a game.

Bad: Struggling to locate your sexy self will never be subtle.

CVS TV Good: You know you’re photogenic, but this is a good opportunity to confirm that you’re also telegenic.

Every time you enter CVS or FroGro you try on a small amount of fame, and it looks great on you.

Bad: The problem is, security cameras are for criminals, so everyone looks a little sinister on the screen.

but did you know that most of the calories you burn are just your body keeping you alive?

Replenish your weary, weary self at the smoothie bar. It’s like fruit but pre–chewed and chilly. The perfect way to end an afternoon of not pushing yourself even remotely close to the limit.

All of Walnut Graduate School of Public Policy

Entering a building with a vestibule

Children’s Hospital Of Philadelphia

Good: It’s very long, so you

Good: Double the doors, double the face–time.

Bad: They’re opening and closing so there’s some minor glass bending. Think fun house mirror. Also, there’s a chance you might get hit in the face.

Good: The whole place is

can get a prolonged look at your butt.

Bad: Graduate students get a prolonged look, too. And they’re getting a from–below, double–chin enhancing angle.

a reflective surface. It’s like a gigantic full–length mirror.

Bad: But it’s also a freakin’ children’s hospital. Your perfect coiffure isn’t curing their cancer.

Good: There’s a long row of windows, so you can take your time while you’re making sure you’re looking fine.

Bad: There’s no way to deny that you’re checking yourself out. No one’s going to believe that you’re that interested in the bookstore’s newest display.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

O THE HE WEEK:: RUDRA PAMP PAMPAT PAMPATI PAMPA EGO OOF As a hipster engineer with a bike, he might as well be an internet meme. But this week's Ego, Rudra Pampati, doesn't want to be reduced to his style. He's a member of Hexagon and the Engineering Dean's Advisory Board. Oh, and he's an actual Duke of Hazard.

Street: You’re from Kentucky?

Rudra Pampati: Born and raised. Hazard, Kentucky.

Street: Hazard?

RP: It’s what the show Dukes of Hazzard was based on. I became an honorary Duke of Hazard when I was in high school. It’s just like people that volunteer around the community and stuff like that. I have a certificate.

Street: What are your fashion influences?

RP: Hipsters, preps and the occasional homeless person.

Street: What's the best tip for bikers on Locust?

RP: Don't ride from 8:30 a.m.–5:30 p.m. But if you do, stay low, conservative and vigilant. Keep a sharp eye

out for the bright yellow. Also watch out for toes, texters, bag swingers and the stutter–steppers — people who quickly turn on their heels.

Street: Why did you decide to study engineering?

RP: I just wanted to fit in with all the cool kids who liked doing Calculus.

Street: If you were an element from the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?

RP: Helium. I would make people sound ridiculous and would never have to take them seriously.

Street: What’s your latest discovery?

RP: I recently got hooked on the show Breaking Bad. It’s so awesome. I like the chemistry

of it, too. He cooks meth using the same stuff I use in the organic chemistry lab.

Street: Do you feel like you have the expertise necessary to…

RP: Make crystal meth? No. Street: But could you figure it out?

RP: Yeah, I do well in orgo lab.

I make some good product.

Street: Who or what is your alter ego?

RP: There’s the extremes, and like most of the time I chill in the middle. I don’t want to go with the boring one, which is me just being able to just relax and be reserved and go a couple days without seeing anybody.

Street: You can go a couple

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days without seeing anyone?

RP: Yeah, it's fine, it’s chill.

Street: Do you think that’s something that other engineers experience?

RP: I feel like that’s pretty

common of all of us.

Street: Solitary Engineering confinement. Kind of sad.

RP: It’s not sad, it’s okay, but you have to be able to handle it. I can handle it.

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highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011 6

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FOOD&DRINK

AN ARCADE FOR ADULTS Barcade is a secret that I don't want to tell.

BY JOSH GOLDMAN Sika Gasinu

I

really don’t want to write this review. Why? I don’t want you to hear about Barcade, the new Fishtown bar that also masquerades as an arcade. I want this to be my own little secret, shared only with other locals, nostalgic gamers and beer aficionados who may frequent this warehouse–cum–bar off Frankford Avenue.

It’s honestly a great space; the team managed to preserve the warehouse feel, but added a cool and comfortable environment for drinking, eating and, of course, gaming. And just steps from the Girard stop on the Market–Frankford Line, the trip is almost effortless.

If you enjoy good beer and had a childhood knack for video games, then Barcade is impossi-

ble not to like. While you won’t get the Jersey shore boardwalk kind of feel here (you won’t find skee–ball or whac–a–mole), Barcade’s old school machines are refreshingly fun. When was the last time you could swap between Asteroids, Ms. PacMan, Tron, Galaga and Paperboy while drinking a reasonably priced craft beer from a rotating list of 25?

Barcade has an extensive beer selection ($5–8), in addition to a full bar and other beverage options, but it’s the rotating taps and one cask that stand out.

Though the variety might be daunting for those accustomed to Natty, the staff is knowledgeable and willing to point you toward their favorites. They’ll also give you a taste of any beer

BARCADE 1114 Frankford Ave. (215) 634–4400

DON'T MISS: Bavarian Barbarian Grumpy Pumpkin beer SKIP: Furthermore Fallen Apple ale $$$$$

before you order.

My friends and I sampled the Bavarian Barbarian Grumpy Pumpkin, a genius Imperial Porter that is offered seasonally and tastes like the real pumpkin and spices used in the brewing process. Continuing our attempts to combat the cold weather, we sipped on Stone’s 15th Anniversary, an Imperial Black IPA that was literally black

in color and one of the best I’ve had from this category of brew.

Tasting both earthy and bready, the beer was perfectly bitter.

We were able to taste Furthermore’s Fallen Apple, a cream ale infused and brewed with apple juice. Unfortunately headless, it poured more like an alcoholic juice than a beer, but was very drinkable, bearing a strong apple flavor. On the other hand, Doc’s Hard Cider advertises itself correctly — tart and dry, it is a welcome switch from the headache–inducing sweetness of a Woodchuck Cider.

While Barcade’s focus is definitely on the beer and the small– batch fermentation of anything else, they offer a small menu of snacks and sandwiches, too.

It’s bar food, but quirky; toast

is served with nutella and bacon ($4). Under guidance from our already trusted bartender, we dug into two sandwiches: a pulled pork with pepper jack ($7), and a smoked chicken and apple sausage with grainy mustard and Boursin ($6).

For a city that is rife with amazing pulled pork, nobody was inclined to proclaim victory for Barcade, but overall, this was a solid sandwich. The sausage was less successful — flavorful goes wrong when you’ve tasted its liquid counterpart all night. Besides, slightly boozed up from my 10.8% ABV black IPA, a couple pretzels, leftover mustard and a large stack of quarters in hand, at this point in the night, I could only wish for more success at Asteroids.

We teamed up with a professional chef to get some tips on cooking in a small space and on a small budget.

BY NINA WOLPOW

If you want to get off CampusFood and into the kitchen, Street wants to help — and we’re going all out for this one. We enlisted the services of one Nikki Hill, former sous chef at Barbuzzo and current co–owner of La Copine, a catering service that hosts a weekend Brunch Cart. Nikki knows her stuff, but that’s not why we chose her. She does things sort of like a college student would. We asked her for an ingredient list ahead of time, but Nikki insisted on winging it. We let her, and here’s what we learned.

Clark Park Farmers’ Market

Our goals s 1 meal (entree, side, dessert) s 2 hours (one for shopping, one for cooking, and you don’t have to do them both the same day) s Less than $40 s All from Fresh Grocer (Nikki vetoed this, check below for three reasons to hit the Farmers’ Market) s 4 hungry happy people

Blocks from campus: 5 Number of vendors: 7 Number of food groups not represented: 0 Ingredients picked up (by stand): s Pork kielbasa ($6.50) s Butternut squash, small pepper, handful of radishes, onion ($3) s Kale, mixed herbs — mostly sage and oregano ($3) s Two Goldrush apples ($2.20) s Loaf of challah, dozen cage–free eggs, edge of goat cheese with pecans ($6.50) Dollars: $21.20 Number of bags required to get the goods home: 2 Total time: 30 minutes *We like Clark Park, but it’s not the only farmers' market in town. Want to buy your goods elsewhere? See 34st.com.

Why we pick the farmers’ market

Nikki’s plan s Pork kielbasa seared in red wine s Kale, butternut squash and apple hash with radish and sage s Challah bread pudding with dark chocolate, pecans and goat cheese s All prepared with locally sourced, fresh ingredients s Less than 45 minutes of prep/cooking time

Where we cheated

highbrow ego food & drink feature music ďŹ lm arts lowbrow

GET (COOKING) SCHOOLED

(Street likes honesty) A detour to Milk & Honey (45th and Baltimore) for half & half and garlic: 10 minutes, $6 ($21.20 + $6.00 = $27.20, $12.80 short of our budget) Things we had beforehand: Sugar, butter, cinnamon, olive oil, red wine*, dark chocolate* (from my own stash), gin (cooking, like all other things, is less fun sober), the pan and baking dish, a cutting board, a wooden spoon, a kitchen *You don’t need this

(continued on next page)

Simplicity: It’s called a Supermarket for a reason — places like FroGro have everything, and when you have just an hour or two to throw a meal together, perusing a 21–aisle grocery store isn’t going to make things any easier. At the Farmers’ Market, it’s what’s in season or bust. Plus, you won't ďŹ nd any ashy signs to tempt you, or nutrition labels to dishearten you.

EfďŹ ciency:

Sure, there is something seemingly fast– tracked about pushing wheeled carts through a store with more signage than I–95. Or maybe you live on the North side of campus, and the walk to FroGro seems a lot shorter than crossing Locust, Spruce AND Pine. If it really does reduce your time to hit the grocery store, we’re all for it, but getting to the Farmers’ Market isn’t as tough as you think: it’s a nice walk, you won’t ďŹ nd any lines and if you forget something, you don’t have to bribe the person behind you to let you run and grab it. Overall, we found the experience a lot less stressful.

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34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

Quality: When something’s grown locally, it’s going to taste better and be better for you. Think about it logically — when your yield is smaller, and you don’t have to worry about transcontinental shipping, it’s easier to focus your attention on the product. These guys are experts — the Farmers’ Market is the ultimate mom 'n’ pop. As Breadriot.org so aptly put it, going there is “like going to Best Buy and having Steve Jobs there to help you buy an iPod.�

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(continued from previous page)

Want to get your chef hat on?

You need these five things in your kitchen: s Searing pan s Sharp, high–end knife (it’s worth the investment) s Saucepan s Good cutting board s Wooden spoon

THE KIELBASA: Nikki seared these sausages quickly, splitting the casings beforehand and cooking them in the red wine we were drinking. We didn’t have butter, so she spooned out a bit of our Earth Balance — she scoffed, we were more than pleased.

THE HASH: No, not the kind you can smoke. Nikki began by sauteing chopped onion in olive oil. From there, she added the remaining ingredients in layers (squash, kale, apple, radish and sage). This piecemeal process allows individual flavors to incorporate; Nikki recommends it for sauteing several vegetables in one dish.

THE PUDDING: Think French Toast, but in the oven. After slicing the Challah into cubes and assembling them in a glass baking dish, Nikki prepared a custard of eggs, half–and– half, sugar, cinnamon and a pinch of salt. She poured this over the bread and sprinkled chocolate pieces and crumbled goat cheese on top before placing it in the oven for an hour at 425°. Nikki thought this came out a little dry, so go big on the custard.

Photos by Adrian Franco

Nikki’s advice: 1. Place a cloth under your cutting board so it doesn’t slide.

2. When chopping oddly– shaped things — like butternut squash — remove ends first.

Flat edges make things easier to balance — it’s physics, right?

3. Improvise! If you like the looks of that rutabaga but haven’t the faintest idea of how to use it, buy it anyway. Even great chefs use Google.

4. Buy vegetables in advance and chop them when you have free time. “That way,” said Nikki, “if I wake up and want an omelette, I don’t have to start slicing peppers.”

5. Have a good soundtrack and lots of booze on hand. Like anything else, cooking is better when you’re comfortable.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

What does a rutabaga taste like exactly?

Sounds like a new dance trend, to me.

Check 34st.com for all of the recipes Nikki uses.

DIY? @34st 8

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A G N I E B F O A L Y T I O N I L O A R H E E C R H S E C H A URBAN T E T G N E U M O Y O C N I – LOW NCO

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34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

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ast year was the first year that University City High School had a 9th period. It’s a rough extra 47 minutes. Teachers are tired, and students are particularly restless. Attendance is even lower than the rest of the day. Mr. Max Siefert*, a Social Studies teacher, stands in the middle of a horseshoe of sparsely–occupied desks. The recent Penn graduate wears khakis, a white button–down shirt, brown Doc Martens and a maroon tie with cartoons of US Presidents on it. He waves his arms above his head and shouts, “Folks!” No one notices. Chatter continues.

Students face every direction, except toward Mr. Siefert and the board. Some face the bright green wall where student work is displayed on nicely–framed bulletin boards. A few turn around to talk to the person behind them, facing a white partition, which is retractable but hasn’t been opened in over a decade. Some face a row of bookshelves, holding some of the books that UCHS can’t send home with students because they move or get transferred to other schools too often.

“Folks!” He extends his arms out to both sides and tries to reel in everyone’s attention with his hands.

“Folks, folks, folks. We’re all here together. Let’s get us all on the same page.”

The commotion continues. Only one girl in the corner notices that Mr. S is trying to start class.

“YO!” Mr. S starts waving his arms in front of his face to get their attention. “If you’re interrupting me at this moment, you’re getting in your own way.”

“What’s better, Tastykake or Little Debbie?” one boy asks a friend across the room.

One girl screams to the student next to her, “Oooh! It’s your birthday? I’m giving you your birthday punches later! Mmmhmm.”

Another boy sings T–Pain’s “I’m in love with a stripperrrrr…”

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n the spring of 2010, Mr. Siefert began teaching two classes by himself — half a full–time teacher’s course load — just as former Philadelphia Superintendent Arlene Ackerman declared University City High School a “Promise Academy.” Promise Academies were part of her larger Renaissance Schools initiative to turn around the lowest performing schools in the district. UCHS was among the many obvious choices for reform.

It hadn’t made Adequate Yearly Progress (A.Y.P.), a term established by No Child Left Behind, in years. The Pennsylvania System of Standardized Assessment (PSSA) tests all 11th graders in the state on math and reading levels. In 2010,

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only 3% of UCHS juniors were at a proficient Math level, and only 6% scored at a proficient reading level.

The district was slow to reveal any information on what the Renaissance plan entailed. At first, rumors circulated through the district that UCHS would become a charter school, which would mean massive overhaul and restructuring of the school. In February, the school found out that it would instead get a “Turnaround Specialist” from the district to oversee the reform efforts. A month later, the district announced that all teachers would have to reapply for their jobs and that no more than half of the existing staff would be hired at each Promise Academy.

But because of a complex mix of tenure and unionization, the school district struggled legally to fire teachers. They were left with about half of each Academy’s staff members who couldn’t return to their current schools, but also couldn’t be fired from the district and were forced to transfer the teachers.

UCHS got a lot of “forced transfer” teachers as a result of the Promise Academy reform. In Mr. Siefert’s hallway, some young teachers have started a new tradition, “Frank Fridays,” where they dress like one of their school’s forced transfers.

He has been shifted around the district for 30 years, and was newly placed at UCHS as a “district counselor.” Frank has a tendency to wear striped polo shirts with striped ties.

He also has a tendency to come into classrooms unannounced and interrupt lessons. Mr. S explains to a colleague that he doesn’t like or participate in Frank Fridays. “But that’s what you get with forced transfers,” his colleague says with a chuckle.

Most of the positions that weren’t taken by forced transfers were filled with 20–somethings, part of urban teaching programs like Teach for America. Many teachers are fresh out of college and teaching for their first time. TFA puts its participants through a short but rigorous summer institute before they have their own classroom in the fall.

“The most visually striking sign that UCHS had become a Promise Academy was the uniform. It was also the first policy to be eaten from the inside out,” he says. In a school where attendance is weather–dependent and one–third of the students got kicked out of their previous school, it’s no shock to see that uniforms wouldn’t fly. Now, it’s rare to see the uniforms.

In addition to extended days and uniforms, UCHS was also mandated to have Saturday school every other week. The poor planning and lack of clear objectives of Saturday school was one of the biggest turnoffs from the reform, according to Siefert. Teachers were under the impression that the administration would plan Saturdays, but the administration thought teachers would plan Saturdays. Neither group received any guidance from the district.

They tried planning field trips, scheduling sports practices, having fun, grade–wide activities and making time for students to catch up on work. They even tried having birthday parties to celebrate students’ birthdays from the previous two weeks.

Mr. Siefert laughs as he describes the various “reboot efforts,” then hesitates, finding the right words.

“It felt like we were trying to build a plane while it was flying.”

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few days into the PSSAs last March, Principal Timothy Stults spoke to the teachers at their weekly staff meeting.

Teachers, dazed from a Friday, trickled into the school’s library.

Standing at a podium, he thanked the staff for being flexible and helpful during the first week of testing.

The PSSAs interrupt the rhythm of the school. The 11th graders spend two full weeks taking the tests.

After talking to many students and staff, Mr. Stults reported, “The overwhelming sentiment is that kids feel really very, very prepared.

Now, I know nobody in this room would argue that testing is the be– all–end–all of results.” The teachers chuckle. “Kids are working hard though,” Stults assures.

The district expected math scores to increase by 11% and reading scores by 14%, after less than a year of Promise Academy reform at the school. But the math and reading scores, released this October, only increased by 7%.

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ast March, Governor Tom Corbett proposed a budget that included a $1.1 billion cut to public education state–wide.

The School District of Philadelphia receives half of its funding from the state and was already facing a large budget deficit. It announced that it would have a $629 million shortfall as a result of reductions in state funding. Wealthier districts can depend more heavily on local property taxes, set independently by townships and municipalities, to compensate for less funding, but budget cuts across the state hit districts like Philadelphia hard.

his job. But the district tried to protect Promise Academy staff members from being laid off, allegedly trying to keep the staff consistent in order to see if the reform model works to boost student achievement. The Philadelphia Federation of Teachers quickly sued the district for protecting 174 Promise Academy teachers, who should have been laid off according to the union contract. In August, the case was finally settled. 174 Promise Academy teachers with lesser seniority would be laid off and teachers who had been laid off would be called back.

Most of the teachers who were re– offered their jobs had already accepted positions at other schools.

“I kept my job by the skin of my teeth,” Mr. S says. Nonetheless, 174 more senior teachers got laid off to compensate for keeping first and second year teachers that work at Promise Academies. Many young teachers were not as lucky.

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ore and more young adults like Mr. Siefert are becoming teachers with

“

He stops and stands close to Mr. S, holds up his thumb and index finger and pinches about an inch of air. "I'm this close to punching everybody in the mouth."

In June, due to the unprecedented budget gap, the district sent out over 1,300 termination letters to teachers based solely on years spent in the classroom. The district will also eliminate many special education, art and music programs and full service cafeterias, while increasing class size, among other changes.

Mr. Siefert, with only one year at the school, thought he would lose

the surging popularity of programs like Teach for America, Teach for All and other fellowships. They expect some semblance of job security or at least the opportunity to get a job in the first place, but given the economic realities facing public schools, the education sector is as volatile as, if not more than, many others. Some want to teach for two years, while others hope to make it a career.

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ccording to the National Center for Education Information, the proportion of public school teachers who have five or fewer years of teaching experience increased from 18% in 2005 to 26% in 2011, and four out of ten teachers with five years of experience or less enter through alternative teacher preparation programs.

Though young and inexperienced, these new teachers are supposed to refresh tired schools. But districts now need to make massive cuts in order to account for budget shortfalls, and to the misfortune of new teachers, it is commonplace to have a “last in, first out” policy.

In other words, the last teachers to be hired are the first to be let go. Teaching ability, effectiveness and dedication to students are not necessarily taken into account. As a result, TFA and other teaching fellowships began assigning more corps members to teach in charter schools, who have some autonomy with staffing and generally larger budgets, but it has still rattled the notion that getting accepted into one of these programs could somehow insulate participants from larger factors.

A 2011 Penn grad wasn't placed until a few weeks ago, despite accepting her TFA offer in the spring.

She has to jump into her first year of teaching over two months into the school year. Another Penn graduate working in a Philadelphia charter school says that she doesn’t feel the same threat of losing her job as her peers, like Mr. S, working in large public school districts, but notes, “The district is very unpredictable and fickle." *The name of this teacher has been changed to protect his privacy.

Mady Glickman is a College senior from Princeton, N.J. She plans to become a teacher after graduation.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

As yelling erupts across the room, Mr. S scoots back to the horseshoe of desks to handle the conflict. Jared glances at an accordion of three sonogram pictures of his three– month–old unborn child; he pockets them and sits down at one of the tables.

A few minutes later, a security guard comes into the room, dressed in a blue police uniform but without an official gun belt. All he is equipped with are handcuffs linked around the loop.

He is here for Chantelle, who begins to yell and curse. Mr. S lets the guard take over and moves a few desks to the right to help a student. He doesn’t want to waste anymore of the class’ time on Chantelle’s outburst. She takes her time packing up and Mr. S tries to ignore her, but Chantelle’s comments get louder and more biting as her friends egg her on. He turns to Chantelle and says, “If you keep this up, you’re going to be back here taking this class next year.”

The class quiets down for the first time of the whole period and then erupts in a deep “OOOOH.” His expression stays plain. Chantelle fires back, “Watch out, Siefert,” as she is taken out of the room.

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omewhat defeated, Mr. S says, “Okay, if you want the directions, come to the tables in the back and I’ll set you up.” The tables in the back are where students usually go when they actually want to do their Social Studies work.

The classroom is big enough that the back tables serve as an area to seek refuge — a kind of safe haven, away from the rowdy students that sit at the desks. He repeats himself again as he slowly walks to the back of the room. Two girls meet him in the back. Two other girls quickly follow them and take a seat at the old science lab tables.

UCHS was designed as a science and math magnet school with a specialized curriculum, attempting to take advantage of the nearby universities and the University City Research and Development Center.

In 1971, the school opened complete with 71 classrooms and 46 labs. The rooms were designed to have sliding walls, able to transition between large classrooms and small spaces for group discussions and individual instruction.

The curriculum was abandoned within four months of the school's opening due to lack of funding and overcrowding at nearby high schools. Today, English and Social Studies classrooms are equipped with lab tables cemented to their floors, and teachers try to avoid the partition walls because they can clearly hear the neighboring class.

A student named Jared gets up from his desk and walks toward Mr. Siefert. Jared’s sweater, part of the school uniform, peeks out of his tan zip–up. In addition to the extra period, it is also the first year that students are required to wear uniforms. His navy sweater has a yellow "Promise Academy" logo stitched on the left breast. The “I” in “Promise” has a red bow wrapped around it, so it looks like a rolled– up diploma.

He stops and stands close to Mr. S, holds up his thumb and index finger and pinches about an inch of air. “I’m this close to punching everybody in the mouth.”

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SBTRKT

Little Dragon & SBTRKT

SBTRKT & Thom Yorke

Little Dragon is also in a major collaborative stage now and has most notably worked with the upstart electro–dubstep artist SBTRKT. The DJ’s biggest hit, “Wildfire,” is a product of a collaboration between the artists. It’s a perfect match — the silky, soulful vocals of Little Dragon glide over SBTRKT’s smooth and funky dubstep beats to create a delightfully chilled–out soundscape.

When Thom Yorke and Radiohead decided to issue a remix edition of last year’s The King of Limbs, they hand–selected some of the most innovative artists in electronic music to deliver new takes on their tracks. SBTRKT was one of those carefully chosen artists, and his work on “Lotus Flower” is sure to have made Yorke proud. SBTRKT’s dubstep tempo combined with the glitch and synth elements provide an excellent counter–balance to the original song’s hauntingly beautiful vocals.

Little Dragon

Damon Albarn & Little Dragon Damon Albarn, when in his Gorillaz role, is known to collaborate with a wide variety of artists, from Snoop Dogg to Lou Reed to De La Soul.

On his most recent Gorillaz album, the sublime Plastic Beach, two great tracks were products of a collaboration with the Swedish electronic outfit Little Dragon. “Empire Ants” and “To Binge” combine the best elements of Albarn’s and Little Dragon’s shared electronic and soul sensibilities.

S E E R G E SIX D ABORATION OF

COLL

This fall, collaborations between artists have been dominating music news and generating lots of hype and excitement — and the trend doesn’t show any signs of letting up. Follow our circle of collabs to see what connections have been formed and what’s in the works. They prove yet again that the music world is becoming ever more intertwined.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

BY SAM BRODEY AND JAKE SPINOWITZ

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Rocket Juice and the Moon

Damon Albarn

The sounds of Rocket Juice and the Moon went viral this week, after the group posted several live tracks taken from their debut gig in Marsailles, France. The project is a new collaboration between Gorillaz/Blur frontman Damon Albarn and Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea, with drummer Tony Allen. The recordings find the band jamming on a number of eccentric, Afrobeat–tinged tunes that may intimidate fans of Gorillaz or Red Hot Chili Peppers. Though a full album is expected to be in the works, an official release date has yet to be announced.

Thom Yorke Atoms For Peace Originally billed as “Thom Yorke ????” on the Coachella 2011 Lineup poster, Atoms for Peace — named after a song on Yorke’s 2006 solo album The Eraser — is a collaboration featuring Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke and Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea. The rock supergroup was first unveiled by Yorke last October at Los Angeles’ Orpheum Theater, and they are currently putting the finishing touches on their first studio album before embarking on an international tour.

Flea

Hyper–literate folk rockers return with more of the same. BY ALEX HOSENBALL

DEFIBRILLATOR

Ying Yang Twins, “Salt Shaker”

I

THE DECEMBERISTS Long Live the King

SOUNDS LIKE: A more well–read, country version of Okkervil River 99–CENT DOWNLOAD: “Sonnet”

GOOD FOR: English Lit majors and high school angst

petent, skilled even, but their latest offering(s) have moved past the threshold of interest into the frontiers of boredom.

Long Live the King is truly a chore to get through, precisely due to this consistency.

Curiously, the band has gone for a more country–style vibe here, which is punctuated by various twangs and, on occasion, vocal aberrations consistent with country music, especially the occasional warbling of some phrases. Indeed, one of the EP’s strongest tracks, a jaunty, jumpy demo reminiscent of the Picaresque– era entitled “I 4 U & U 4 ME,” is marred by Meloy’s grubby attempt to stand out at

the CMAs. Lyrically, “I 4 U” stands out as relatively light and airy, contrary to the stuffy lit–seminar lyrics that categorize the rest of the Decemberists’ catalogue, particularly this effort.

However, Long Live the King may experience redemption through its last track, “Sonnet,” which is, again, straight out of one of the earlier albums, complete with an inspiring horn section and slightly less obtuse lyrics,

though much more intricate than “I 4 U.” Perhaps I dislike the album because it doesn’t pander to me enough — “Sonnet” is the only track I would ever consider purchasing, and it is the easiest to access; or perhaps I’m just too dense to get every literary allusion. That said, Decemberists fans will probably enjoy the EP; I just find my own true love for them lost, perhaps at sea. We all grow up.

Come collab with us.

Zooey + Ben Kim + Kris Street + u

Meeting tonight at 6:30.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

t’s 2004. Fuzzy hats and velour track suits are still cool, yet to be replaced by jeans, fitted caps and snapbacks.

It’s the golden age of club rap: forget the moody lyricism of Kanye, the titans of the charts are Nelly and 50 Cent. The hit of the year begins with an up– tempo beat and almost tropical bird calls, and then, from out of nowhere, “HAAAAAAAAAA!” It’s not a laugh. It’s like a duck call (if that duck had golden grills and was issuing a call to get crunk).

This is probably the best description I have for the Ying Yang Twins and their magnum opus, “Salt Shaker.” It's the era of the booty–shaking club anthem at its finest. As the twins enjoin us to “shake it like a salt shaker” in their uniquely guttural baritones, you almost have no choice but to do it.

And for 2004 onwards, that’s what we did — this track enjoyed endless replays in America’s sweet sixteens, clubs and — most memorable for me — bar mitzvahs. Because there’s just nothing like shakin’ your salt shaker and getting crunk with bubbeh and zadeh.

— Sam Brodey

T

he revolution may now be televised, but that doesn’t mean it always warrants listeners. While their popularity may have skyrocketed following two concept albums, the Decemberists’ unfortunately consistent formula begets monotony over time, as is the case with new EP, Long Live the King.

In a word, Long Live the King is tedious, especially for an EP. Of course, this may not always be a bad thing — the audience certainly gets its money’s worth, which appropriately runs the length of a shorter album and may go down as a companion piece to The King is Dead, a la Okkervil River’s Black Sheep Boy Appendix.

In that vein, Long Live the King may indeed be a success, though as a whole it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi — or perhaps je sais exactement quoi.

Fully present are the typical Decemberists tropes: Meaningful (with a capital M) and allusive lyrics, folksy melodies, Colin Meloy’s barely tolerable distinctive voice and an admittedly cohesive sound overall.

Indeed, the Decemberists still sound objectively com-

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THE KING ON LIFE SUPPORT

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READING SHMEADING

Didn’t do the reading for your midterm next week?

Neither did we. BY SHELBY RACHLEFF

We value our work as much as anyone. But sometimes, things come up… and there’s absolutely no time to read all of Mansfield Park before the annual Homecoming party at Chancellor. This week, Film is here to help. We’ve compiled a list of movies to watch when you’re really in a pinch, organized by the class to which they apply. Just don’t make the Scarlet Letter mistake — that scene with Demi in the bathtub wasn’t in the Hawthorne original.

IF YOU’RE IN ENGL 260:

IF YOU’RE IN ARTH 271:

IF YOU’RE IN PSYC 162: IF YOU’RE IN ANTH 104:

Henry James and Others

17th Century European Art

Abnormal Psychology

WATCH:

WATCH: Caravaggio (1986)

WATCH: A Beautiful Mind (2001) WATCH: Kinsey (2004)

If a movie is categorized as an avant– garde visual arts experience, shouldn’t you be given credit for watching it?

This is a biopic we wish we totally understood… but we’re sure you’ll be able to use some of that background knowledge of the rebel painter in one of your analytical essays. Extra points if you actually make it through the whole thing.

KEY QUOTE: Young Caravaggio: The process of painting is my knife!

Nothing screams “abnormal” like Russell Crowe throwing a telephone at a paparazzo. Wait, wrong situation.

This film about a brilliant but disturbed mathematician illustrates a case of schizophrenia better than almost any lecture can.

KEY QUOTE: Charles: So what’s your story? You the poor kid that never got to go to Exeter or Andover?

Nash: Despite my privileged upbringing, I’m actually quite well–balanced.

Middlemarch (1994) Snuggle in bed for an afternoon of generically BBC British accents with this 1994 miniseries. Yeah, we’re all for George Eliot, but why read someone who doesn’t even make first billing?

KEY QUOTE: Dr. Tertius Lydgate: The reason doctors prescribe so much medicine, Mr. Mawmsey, is because it’s the only way they can make their money. If they could charge for their consultation then they wouldn’t have to overdose the King’s legion. And that’s the worst kind of treason, eh?

Sex and Human Nature

Sexual Behavior in the Human Male is a little dense, but this biopic has enough steam to educate you without putting you to sleep. What’s an anthropology class without a little exploration of our deepest sexual desires? We assure you that Liam Neeson leaves nothing under wraps.

KEY QUOTE: Kinsey: Everybody’s sin is nobody’s sin, and everybody’s crime is no crime at all.

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34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

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Almodovar’s latest draws us into its deepest, darkest lairs. BY TUCKER JOHNS

I

f nothing else, no one could ever make the mistake of accusing Pedro Almodovar, a man whose previous films have included incest, murder and comatose love affairs, of being boring. Rest assured, The Skin I Live In, the Spanish auteur’s latest offering, doesn’t do anything to change that notion. Rather, it ratchets his boundary–pushing style to the next level.

Antonio Banderas, in his first Almodovar film in over 20 years, stars as Robert Ledgard, an acclaimed surgeon who has succeeded in creating a near invincible version of human skin. Although he claims to have only experimented on mice, he actually tests all of his work on a woman he keeps locked in his home. This captive subject, Vera Cruz (Anaya), lives in near exile, only interacting with Ledgard and his faithful

THE SKIN I LIVE IN DIRECTED BY: Pedro Almodovar

STARRING: Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya

SEE IF YOU LIKED: Biutiful (2010) Rated R, 117 min.

maid.

The director breaks up this narrative with periodic flashbacks to six years earlier, showing the tragic accident that inspired Ledgard’s current work as well as an attempted rape of his young daughter at a wedding reception. The seemingly divervent stories progress in pieces until they climax in the sort of horrifyingly amazing collision that Pedro Almodovar might as well trademark.

One of Almodovar’s great-

With this skin, you will no longer have to shave your legs.

est strengths is his ability to maximize his actors’ talents, and that gift carries The Skin I Live In. Banderas has never been better, alternately reprehensible and compassionate in a performance that holds the entire film together. Anaya, in what is surely an international star turn, morphs seamlessly from a powerless shut–in to a threat to everything Ledgard has created. The supporting cast is similarly strong, but these two actors carry the ma-

jority of the scenes and completely command the screen.

The film isn’t without its flaws, though. A subplot about Marilia’s convict son comes and goes relatively quickly and, arguably, adds more shock value than substance.

Still, this is a small gripe and does little to detract from the overall entertainment value of the film. And, as expected, Almodovar manages to blend together an incredibly complex plot nearly seamlessly.

His careful curation of each scene makes the film, in its entirety, seem nearly as crafted and stylized as Ledgard’s work in his lab.

This won’t go down as one of Almodovar’s best works, as it lacks the same airtight storytelling as Talk to Her or All About My Mother, but it’s so well–acted and refreshingly different from anything else that will come out this season, that it absolutely warrants a trip to the Ritz.

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PUSHING BOUNDARIES ONE SKIN CELL AT A TIME

THE CRAZIEST KIND OF LOVE The indie romance that took the summer festival circuit by storm makes us feel badly about our own love lives. BY HILARY MILLER

LIKE CRAZY DIRECTED BY: Drake Doremus STARRING: Anton Yelchin, Felicity Jones

SEE IF YOU LIKED: The Graduate (1967) Rated PG–13, 90 min.

The flowing montage is cut short only when the worst possible scenario occurs: the two realize that a little thing called an expired Visa, which prevents Anna from returning to the States after a trip home, can have a pull even stronger than that of young love. From here on out, the couple struggles to maintain a cross–Atlantic

relationship without sacrificing any of their individual ambitions.

Doremus’ greatest success is his choice of cast. Not once does the audience consider the young ages of Jacob and Anna or at all doubt the validity of their love. Rather, the incredible performances of the two young actors make the heightened passion of their relationship realistic and understandable. We have all felt that way at some point… or wanted to… or had a crush on that guy from sociology class last year. We totally get it.

Like Crazy is curated in a way that masterfully consumes the viewer into the speed and extremity of the young couple’s romance. Muted, dream–

like colors fill the exciting stages of their courtship, while harsh realities are met with a focused, vivid presentation. Likewise, the film is paced to welcome the audience into the speed of a love story. The positive scenes blend together while hard–hitting moments stop us in our tracks.

Undoubtedly, Like Crazy will pull on your heartstrings and take you on an emotional roller coaster — in the best way possible. Still, in the end, the most hopeless romantic is left questioning the difference between being in love with a person and being in love with the excitement of love itself. Might we turn your attention to the final bus ride scene in The Graduate? Ya, like that.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

H

ave you ever experienced the excitement of all–consuming love? The kind that takes your breath away and turns every day into a hazy blur of laughs, passionate kisses and Stars tracks? Neither have we. But we imagine it’s a little bit like director Drake Doremus’ Like Crazy.

Jacob (Yelchin) and Anna (Jones) are head over heels in love. Fresh out of the nest, the British Anna meets LA–native Jacob when she attends college in his hometown. Their whirlwind relationship that ensues is shortened into 20–or–so minutes of washed out scenes tracking the quick development of their intimate relationship.

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BYE BYE LIVER, HELLOOO BUCKETS OF BEER Downey Irish Pub’s new running comedy gets you drunk… and then makes fun of you.

U

pstairs at Downey’s Irish Pub an eclectic group of about 60 members crowded around small bar tables supporting $10 buckets of beer. As the lights dimmed, the chatter faded into a palpable anticipation.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is OPEN!” shouted the redheaded comedian on stage. So began Bye Bye Liver, a one–of–a–kind drinking show where alcohol serves as the subject of every joke and the audience is encouraged to knock back a few as they watch.

A sort of hybrid stand–up comedy show, including sketches that cover such topics as how to vomit in public and the inexplicable phenomenon of female bathroom entourages, the show offers a number of opportunities for audience interaction. Actors engage the crowd with drinking games like Name That Tune, Matchmaker and Would You Rather. While the comedic performances were enthusiastically received, a fact attributable to talented actors, well–scripted sketches

BYE BYE LIVER Downey's Irish Pub 526 S. Front St. Saturdays, 9 p.m., $15 (800) 650–6449 or byebyeliver.com Age 21+

Courtesy of ByeByeLiver.com

and, of course, pints of beer, these moments of audience interaction stole the show.

The audience belted the lyrics to classics like “Don’t Stop Believing” during Name That Tune and cheered wildly when an actress jumped off the stage to ask a man in the audience, “Would you rather… have a tattoo of

your dick on your forehead or a tattoo of your mom on your dick?”

All of the actors embodied a perfect level of aggression, singling out members of the crowd without making anyone feel uncomfortable. Sometimes the audience was almost as entertaining as the show itself — take the middle–aged blondes at the table

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next to mine who graciously provided immediate neighbors with their own slurred commentary.

As creator Byron Hatfield said, “The idea of drinking and comedy is as old as time,” dating back to the good ol’ Shakespearean days. Bye Bye Liver updates this age old concept by presenting a not–so–sober audience with alcohol–related humor, an infallible recipe for a quality Saturday night.

As the first comedian promised, “You’re gunna leave here with a nice buzz and some awesome memories.”

She didn’t disappoint — Bye Bye Liver is outrageous, funny and embarrassingly relatable. I’ll drink to that.

ARTISTPROFILE:

N

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

BY ALI JAFFE

Jesse Rappaport Check out an extended interview and images of Jesse Rappaport’s most recent work on his ARTIST PROFILE at 34st.com

(new and improved)

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The Mistakes

It’s a wild and crazy world out there, and it’s the artist’s job to try to John Doe Puzzles by Raphael make sense of it all. In a Fenton-Spaid duo exhibition by Philadelphia artists Matthew Stemler and Raphael Fenton–Spaid, LGTripp Gallery highlights the beauty of this rather overwhelming venture. Stemler’s site–specific installation, "Floatsam," uses a flood not only as a representation of human achievement, but also as a space for contemplation. Moving past the fact that Stemler was somehow able to construct this catastrophic event within the frame of an art gallery, the exhibition powerfully conveys the intersection between nature and engineered structures. In addition to the columns and sculptures (including a tortoise) that make up "Floatsam," several of Stemler’s drawings are scattered around the gallery.

Working with an even more monumental topic in his exhibit titled “John Doe Puzzles,” Fenton–Spaid explores the media’s representation of military actions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

By manipulating images of the conflicts in a manner that strips them of the horrors generally associated with war, he questions the ability of the media to convey the true story behind the pictures. Fenton–Spaid challenges the viewer to find the conflict within the abstracted, candy– colored tiles that make up his work, and to take that same level of scrutiny to the military involvements themselves.

—Eillie Anzilotti

THANK GOD IT’S (FIRST) FRIDAY This month’s First Friday brings us psychedelic music, military commentary and glittery computer graphics. Mix that with the free wine and cheese offered at most of these Old City galleries and try to find a reason not to stop by the openings of November’s most promising shows.

James Oliver Gallery

Projects Gallery 629 N. 2nd St. In “Two Brothers — Two Profiles” the psyches of Ira and Len Upin are juxtaposed on the walls of the Projects Gallery.

Through almost completely opposite styles (Len’s black and white simplicity versus Ira’s saturated, colorful paint) the siblings Fat Cat by Ira Upin present their struggles as they approach retirement and old age.

Len, returning to art after ending his teaching career due to illness, brings us paintings of nearly photographic realism to expose a human spirit crippled by physical pain. Ira’s complex, colorful compositions about a healthy, productive man accepting the obstacles of basic aging contrast beautifully with Len’s simple portraits.

Through two different lenses, the Upin brothers question and confront perhaps the most daunting part of life — its slowly approaching but certain end. Next to each other, their paintings emphasize how no two growing experiences are identical; yet, they exclaim on canvas, it’s never too late for us to give meaning to our lives.

—Isabel Oliveres

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

LGTripp Gallery 47 N. 2nd St.

Space 1026

LG Tripp Gallery

Projects Gallery

James Oliver Gallery 723 Chestnut St.

Space 1026 1026 Arch St.

Fishkin Triptic by Nick Cassaway

Known for portraits of death–row inmates, Nick Cassway has shifted toward a lighter but no less complex topic: the facial expressions of his comrades as they socialize. In “The Indulgencies,” human faces composed of computer–cut vinyl with ink drawings on different textures including gold, chrome and glitter pop out from solid, one–dimensional backdrops. A piece called The Dinner Party emphasizes dining while forming deep connections with a community, while The Sleepers takes a vastly different approach and portrays the exposed, defenseless and solitary state of sleep.

By stressing the commonalities that thread humans together, Cassway hits a note of untailored happiness in the mundane joys of life. He proves in his graffiti– esque prints that not all artists have to suffer, at least not with friends like these.

—Anna Pan

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011

If you’re looking for some tunes to accompany your art, Space 1026 has got you covSpace 1026 Gallery by Tim Kerr and Friends ered. Along with the work of Tim Kerr, member of notorious '80s hardcore band The Big Boys, the opening of “Our Schedule is Change” will feature live music performed by psychedelic, experimental drone artist Zomes. Also on display will be works by artists that Kerr met while traveling.

Kerr’s work examines the themes of social justice, people’s history and community. His images of wrinkled blue faces and midsized hands are not photorealistic, instead carrying a pastel comic–book aesthetic.

The people portrayed, some of whom are famous (see if you can spot Pete Seeger), are accompanied with text and quotes such as “Participation: that’s what’s going to save the human race.” Kerr vocalizes a message of social change and unhappiness — an especially pointed one in today’s “Occupy Wharton” climate. While his drawing style prevents him from getting too serious, Kerr raises some issues worth talking about. And hey, there will be music, there will be art and where the two collide there's a guaranteed good time.

—Isaac Kaplan

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highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011 18

34

ST

LOWBROW

TOP TEN: Things to do as an alum.

WHERE AT PENN IS CARMEN SANDIEGO? Hot diggity, detectives! The infamous Carmen Sandiego is at it again, and this time she’s taken off with the Quaker. She was last spotted walk–o’–shaming outside the Quad after stealing a freshman’s virginity. Now it’s up to you, players, to return our beloved mascot. Using these abysmally–rhymed clues provided by Carmen herself, track down her location. Lowbrow's here to snap a shot of the lady in red each time you spot her, but knowing how elusive Carmen is, we're pretty sure you'll only catch her at the end.

1. No longer just for hipsters, this is where I shop Homecoming's near For a party outfit or another cute crop top.

If I need a last–minute gift for a friend, and the oldies are This is probably where I’ll end (up).

back in town. Watch out for the following #TotalAlumMoves.

1. Run into and catch up with an old flame. Why does her son have your blue eyes… and your name?

2. Complain about the location of your class’s Ivy Stone — by the Houston dumpsters.

3. Donate enough money to the University to ensure that little Ethan gets a room in the Quad. Because heaven forbid he should have to live in Gregory.

4. Hook up with an undergrad… who may or may not be your wife’s great–grand– little. (Keepin’ it in the lineage!

Hellz yeah!)

5. Overuse “Occupy” references until another alum in the 1% kicks you in the kite and keys.

6. Pass on your infinite wisdom to the younger generation of Penn students. Teach them to fiddle with their beepers to avoid people on Locust.

7. Bring your child to play on the Button, where he was conceived.

8. Get drunk at Smoke’s for old time’s sake. Accidentally present your fake. Bad habits die hard.

9. Talk about how nothing’s changed since you left, except that. And that. But really, where’s Logan Hall?

10. Wear your old frat or sorority gear… if it still fits.

Or exists. (Lookin’ at you, Phi Siggy.)

3. I’ve come down with the karaoke fever And need a break from good ol’ Kweder.

So I trekked to Sansom for Kegs and Eggs To kick back brews with the fratty regs.

2. The site of some shootings, it’s not the safest place, But that’s okay if you are carrying your mace.

I come here whenever a new film is released, Next to the late Marathon, may she rest in peace.

4. Whenever I’m on Chestnut with a wad of dollar bills, This is where I come to get my thrills.

With a margarita from Chili’s, I’m ready to go And see some dimes shake it on the flo’.

DIDJA SEE ALL THE COSTUMES? SHE DRESSED LIKE A HO CARMEN SANDIEGO–OH? IT'S A HAIKU. HAIyou. 34st.com

RANT! OF THE WEEK

6. The place where I end every good drunken night, With a Big Mac, some fries and an order of Sprite.

The service is a’ight and the workers are sassy, It’s just like BBP, but a little less classy.

Congratulations, detectives! After successfully deciphering all six of Carmen's clues, you've managed to stop the international woman of mystery! But what's this? She doesn't have the Quaker? Oh, awkward. Turns out, Penn's poster boy was just off indulging in his favorite recreational activity, the Quake– and–Bake. Wait, so why did Carmen taunt us? Looks like Penn's JAPs aren't the only ones in need of attention.

Dear Melanie*, I get it. The social life at MIT isn’t exactly the rager you expected when you applied, but it’s not like I’m at an actual party school myself. So seriously, stop inviting yourself over. Not only does my room barely fit me, but now we both need to share the space with your three suitcases. You know you’re not moving in, right?

The truth is, I don’t want to spend my weekend babysitting you through your drunken escapades on a foreign campus where you know no one. It’s nice to reminisce about the inside jokes we shared in high school. Except no one gets them but us. And when I say us, I really just mean you. I forgot them, the same way I forgot how awkward you are around new people. You don’t know who Alice is nor have you met her new ugly boyfriend, so why are you laughing at the joke?

It’s cool that you don’t go here and just wanna let your hair down (and leave it plastered on my shower wall), but I’m the one who has to stick around to clean up all the literal and figurative messes you leave when you barf in my friends’ pillowcases and steal their frat composites. Surprise surprise, they don’t want to hook up with your vomit breath. No means no; this isn't Yale.

Finally, I know that now’s a really convenient time for you, but I’ve got a midterm on Monday that you failed to consider when you showed up on my doorstep. So when we’re sitting in Van Pelt on Saturday afternoon and you ask me what I usually do on weekends, don’t be surprised when I ask you what time your bus leaves. They don’t call it Rosenparty for nothing. But you wouldn’t get that.

Love, Santana* P.S. Let’s wait a few days before we Skype. *Names have not been changed to protect the identity of the individuals involved. I know you used my toothbrush, bitch.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

5. This is where I get sushi with my girls And after dinner, everyone hurls.

Because when I eat all those AH–mazing rolls, I don’t wanna wake up with bigger… rolls.

34TH STREET Magazine November 3, 2011 19

STREET’S GUIDE TO

HOMECOMING Saturday events Penn Park Homecoming 5K Run Franklin Field, 7–9 a.m.

If there’s a better way to work off your hangover than waking up early to run three miles in November weather in front of large numbers of alumni, we’re still looking.

Quad Open House The Quad

Welcome Back Home Various other College Houses 11 a.m–6 p.m.

Apparently they decided that those oh–so–blessed former denizens of the Quad needed to have a different event from everyone else to look at their former dormitory.

Worth it to see just how far back Quad’s superiority complex actually goes.

Quakerfest College Green,11 a.m– 1 p.m.

How the Ivy League does a pre–game tailgate: beer, food, cheerleaders, Saturday morning revelry — all, of course, in the looming shadow of Van Pelt.

Penn Football Homecoming Game vs.

Princeton Franklin Field, 1 p.m.

Look, they made it easy for you. They combined

Yep, Homecoming’s this weekend. Here's what you should know, what to do and where you’ll be.

Where should I go?

the Homecoming and Penn–Princeton games, so you only have to go to one this year. The least you can do is show up.

Alumni Bacchanal/Platt Fifth Anniversary Party Platt Student Performing Arts House, 3702 Spruce St. 9 p.m.–1 a.m.

Honestly, we know it’s for alums, and we really don’t know much else about it besides the name. But it’s calling itself a Bacchanal.

There’s no way we’re not crashing it.

Gallery Hop Arthur Ross Gallery, 220 S. 34th St. Van Pelt Library, Kamin Gallery Institute of Contemporary Art, 3:30–5:30 p.m.

If you’re feeling cultural this weekend, take the opportunity to go on a curated tour of three of Penn’s temporary art exhibits.

Taste of Penn: A Global Celebration Houston Hall, 6:30–10:30 p.m.

Penn's Alumni Diversity Alliance and a host of affiliates host an evening spread and a handful of music acts. If you can swing into this, you'll be set for dinner and probably find enough to keep you sated for the rest of the weekend.

By the numbers: Number of events (if you’re dedicated enough to search for them):

76 Non–alumni events that serve food/alcohol:

4 Number of events we bet you’ll make:

3

Number of times Penn played Princeton:

103 Expected high temperature:

55° Hours you’ll spend being glad Homecoming wasn’t last weekend:

3.5

(or roughly the length of the football game)