October 25, 2012

October 25, 2012 34st.com

The man behind Philadelphia's bumper crop of farmers' markets

PHILLY FILM FEST • AN ODE TO SQUASH • A REAL–LIFE SUGAR BABY

october 25

8

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street, overheards, sugar daddies

mask & wig

4 EGO

ego of the week, halloween do's and don'ts

6 FILM

philly film fest, moviemaker profile, film soundtracks, reviews

8 MUSIC

mask and wig and history, mayer hawthorne recap, album reviews

10 FEATURE farm to city

12 FOOD

squash, squash, squash, squash, squash

cliche halloween costumes

7

FROMtheEDITOR

FALLGRADE

Hot (or cool?) on the heels of Summer 2012 arrives Fall 2012, the latest offering from the troposphere and the folks over at the Weather Channel. Crisp and colorful, flavored with the aromas of burning leaves and pumpkin–spiced lattes, this year's fall is the best in years.

After a shaky start at the beginning of October, when temperatures dipped below the 50–degree mark, the weather swung back with a string of 67 ° days, paving the way for the prolonged death of leaves and hence our viewing pleasure.

Treetops soaked in reds, oranges and yellows make for foliage that looks like it was curated by the autumnal department at Pantone.

Leaves: 5/5.

Chalk the stunning visuals up to endless days in the mid–60s. Cool in the mornings and evenings, just right by noon, if you sit in the sun and close your eyes it feels like you're warming yourself in front of a fire.

Weather: 5/5.

Let's not forget about the air. In addition to the cool breezes and seasonal scents, there's something spooky in it. It's the season for being creepy, and this year's fall is brimming with toil and trouble. Air: 5/5.

Overall score: 5/5. This is what Halloween episodes and Travel Channel specials are made of.

10

5

15 ARTS

grandpa style, philly photo day, get up offa that thing, punk arcade

18 LOWBROW

halloFUCKINween, story corner, diy pumpkins

farmers' markets

legit soundtracks

YEAH FALL BREAK PUNTA CANA 2K12!! COME TELL US ABOUT ALL OF THE THINGS!!

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

20 BACKPAGE

2

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

emergency halloween costume kit

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Editor–In–Chief Joe Pinsker, Managing Editor Adrian Franco, Online Managing Editor Hilary Miller, Design Editor Chloe Bower, Design Editor Sarah Tse, Photo Editor Laura Francis, Asst. Photo Inna Kofman, Asst. Design Stephanie Witt, Asst. Design Paige Rubin, Highbrow Zacchiaus Mckee, Highbrow Patrick Ford–Matz, Ego Sandra Rubinchik, Ego

Katie Giarla, Ego Patrick Del Valle, Food & Drink Isabel Oliveres, Food & Drink Abigail Koffler, Food & Drink Alex Hosenball, Music Ben Bernstein, Music Kiley Bense, Music Ben Lerner, Film Samantha Apfel, Film Megan Ruben, Arts Eillie Anzilotti, Arts Faryn Pearl, Lowbrow Lizzie Sivitz, Lowbrow Colette Bloom, Back Page Zeke Sexauer, Back Page

Julia Liebergall, Copy Mariam Mahbob, Copy Amanda Shulman, Copy

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor––in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898–6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

Cover Photo: Sarah Tse

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "Legolas was when I first realized I wasn't straight."

–I.B.

Contributors: Jack LaViolette, Stephen Morgenstern, Lois Dankwa, Olivia Rutigliano, Allie Bienenstock, Nicole Malick, Kelly Lawler, Barunie Kim, Shayla Cole, Ryan Zahalka, Mimi Solmssen, Ali Kriegsman, Michelle Ma, Gina DeCagna, Marley Coyne, Madeline Wattenbarger, Sophia Fischler– Gottfried

©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a–okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

TRUE LIFE: I AM A SUGAR BABY

O

ne day, while doing my usual perusal of HuffPo during Stat (yawn), I came across an article that both captivated and confused me. The article detailed the relationship between Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies, a simple arrangement set up by websites all over the net. The typical Sugar Daddy: an established, well–to–do professional that will “mentor” and “guide” you with lovely dinners and private one–on–ones. Penn boys were feeling so yesterday, and my frozen Stouffer's dinners were not up to par. There I was, glaring at the article while the kid next to me tried to inconspicuously fart and sneeze at the same time. I’m young. I’m not gross–looking. I’m adventurous.

This is a thing I could do. No — it is a thing I would do. I was off to find my Sugar Daddy.

I immediately recruited one of my housemates and crafted the perfect Sugar Baby profile. I had never done any online dating before, but I knew from movies and commercials that there was a certain science to “About Me” sections. Who was I? My name: "Abbie Deelectable." I made a fake email address to match. My type? Kind, smart and someone who can “keep up” with me (double entendre at work over here). My personality? Bubbly, a great listener and up for anything!

“Anything” began to mean a LOT of things to a lot of men.

I had no idea what I was getting into.

I’ve gotten to know the Sugar Daddy mentality pretty well over the past two weeks. I encountered all types of requests — none of which detailed “mentorship” and

“guidance.”

Let’s take a look at Exhibit A: “I want to experience being the toilet of a white girl. No sex, no drama, no risk to you. I will pay $800 each time I visit you and experience being your toilet. I don’t care who wipes. I need you.”

I definitely considered this one.

It’s always nice to feel needed.

But a few of my closest advisors told me my feces was definitely worth over 1k. Sorry buddy…

THEROUNDUP

over heard PENN at

Professor: Ooh, is that an African tribal bracelet?

Student: No…it’s… from Forever 21.

Girl: He looked like a sexy Ron Stoppable.

Freshman: I can settle for a 3.9 this semester.

Guy in Blarney bathroom: Ever since I’ve discovered gay bars, I just can’t bring myself to pay for drinks.

Girl: Do you ever see somebody that’s just so happy? And you want to punch them in the face?

BY MIMI SOLMSSEN

L

et’s be real: Oktoberfest is every frat boy’s wet dream: beer, boobs, a selection of heavy, meat–based foods, amusement rides and more beer. For three weeks of the year (two of which aren’t even in October) the usual German restraint is thrown out the window. Oktoberfest is the only time of year when it is not only socially acceptable to be black–out drunk at 10 a.m. — it’s highly encouraged.

As a native of Munich, I went to the "Wiesn" — as the Germans call the festival — all throughout high school. So when my friends abroad told me they were making the pilgrimage to my hometown, there was no question in my mind I was going, GPA and sleep be damned.

We arrive at the Oktoberfest grounds at 9 a.m.

Bleary–eyed and dressed in traditional German costume, we wade our way through the swirling throng of merry–making Germans and lecherous Italian tourists. We join a line leading into one of the tents.

Soon, we're crushed into the people in front of us.

One of them pretends to text while trying to snap a pic of my be–dirndled boobs.

A beefy security guard in all black stands at the entrance to the tent, eyeing the mass of people. He is St. Peter at the gates if St. Peter were looking for a reason to kick the shit out of someone. The girl next to me has a hand down the front of her boyfriend’s lederhosen. The guy next to me has vomit in his beard. He keeps swaying, bouncing off the people around him like some drunken pinball. Let me remind you it's still only 9:30 in the morning.

Something is squawked over a headset, and the beefy security guy at the front slowly lifts the barricade. “Nur zwanzig!” he barks.

It’s every Herr for himself. Our group pushes forward, elbowing people out of the way. Finally, we are at a table. Five minutes later, a disgruntled waitress in full traditional garb plunks a tower of golden frothing steins in front of us. Each beer is two liters.

We commence chugging.

Soon we are standing on the tables, singing, dancing, wasted. The rest of the day is a warm and fuzzy blur. We go on rides. We eat various kinds of wurst.

We meet and almost make out with other American college students. One of us is proposed to, one of us almost starts a fight outside a public toilet. One of us gets lost.

Oktoberfest is one giant frat party, vomit and DFMOs included, except there are 14,000 people in attendance. Oktoberfest is like Disneyland, but with beer: bright colors, deep–fried food, fat American tourists and lines. Ultimately, despite the sleep deprivation and a missed quiz, experiencing Oktoberfest with my friends from Penn was worth it.

Even if I only half–remember it.

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

Welcome back, kiddos. While you were off galavanting in pumpkin patches and drinking the sweet, sweet ambrosia that is apple cider, Highbrow was here, trolling for overheards and gossip. You better appreciate the things we do for you. Oh, and call your mother, she misses you.

Some valuable Highbrow advice: no one should ever take a camping trip over Fall Break without bringing the proper supplies or Heads Will Roll.

Water, food, firewood and Maps are just a few things on the list. But beyond that, you’d be a Zero if you camped alone. Yeah Yeah Yeah(s) we’re sure you get what we’re implying by now. In a scene straight out of an 80’s movie, one Penn senior took a camping trip over the break where she happened to meet up with a certain indie band. Funny thing was, she had no idea who they were until they were well out of the woods. We hear she did end up teaching them to build a fire though. That’s hot.

But that’s not the only thing that’s hot. Ouch! Things are heating up over at the TriChi house. Highbrow hears that a fire broke out last week after some girl’s blanket hit her space heater. Luckily, the fire was quickly extinguished. While it may have caused some damage, at least it answered the age old question, “Is this burning an eternal flame?” (Hint: It’s not).

AYYYYEEEE SK LADIES! The girls of Sigma Kappa had a psy-chedelic time in Vegas over break when they met PSY of “Gangnam Style” fame.

Apparently the girls danced with him at the Hard Rock Hotel. We’re super jelly, but we saw the flash mob, which is basically the same thing.

Color us disturbed! Halloween came early for one Fall Breaker this week when he unfortunately passed out after a heavy night of drinking. His friends decided to color his entire face with a Sharpie, resulting in some unfortunate blackface, pictures of which ended up all over Facebook #yikes. Try a less racist way of embarrassing your friend next time, guys.

Contin u See m ed online! o Daddy re Sugar re @ 34s quests t.com

FROM PENN TO OKTOBERFEST IN 96 HOURS

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

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highbrow lm music food &music drink arts arts lowbrow lowbrow highbrow ego ego fifood & drink feature film feature

34

ST

EGO FILM

How Penn Students Watch Movies

LAKSHMI SIVAGURU OF THE EGO DO YOU PAY WEEK PER VIEW?

Borrow from Library

Watch Movies 24.6% and an Don't By polled day, Lakshmi Sivaguru a champion women’s rights, a dedicated television–viewer admittedly Film you to find out howis you are gettingofyour Sunday afternoon Theaters awfulfixes. cook.

By night, Lakshmi Sivaguru is Maria.

BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN movie Here’s what we learned.

T

hough we all know the Street: Internet So what isdofor youporn do on campus? (thanks Avenue Q), the Lakshmi I'monlya bedroom is Sivaguru: no longer the co–chair for Seniors for The area being ceded to digital terriPenn Fund, the Vice Chair tory. For every girl with daddy’s of Finance for thebrowsing Penn ConAmEx, window on sortium of Undergraduate Fifth Avenue has been replaced Women (or PCUW), VP with online shopping.theAnd of Risk Management for the FYEs everywhere have virtuPanhellenic Council, the (pun Coally been rendered useless ordinator of the PENNacle intended) with the existence of Pre–Orientation the multifarious iTunesProgram store. andThings a partareofno thedifferent Womenhere in Leadership Series, Parliamenat Penn, where the Rave gets tary andtraffi a couple of nearlyDebate half the c for the other things thrown in. midnight screenings of blockbuster hits like Twilight as Hulu Street: your does theWhat’s day after thegreatest newest fear? episode of 30 Rock airs. This LS: applications are makesWhen sense. We Penn students like, “If you were stuck on an are too busy procrastinating island with a thousand bricks, on Penn InTouch and designwhat wouldlacrosse you do?”

Those ing funny pinnies for questions always freak the clubs we’re involved inme to out amofI our supposed leavebecause the comfort beds to

watch Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that Penn stuto be witty?

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I hear Bosses — a LS: Oh god.

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Free Streaming 47.7% 16.9% come back of those recipes, but there’s have a big Paidand Online Services something so mesmerizing party with them. about watching other people Street: What’s something cook. Because I know9.2% I can’t that really makes your day? cook. I can burn anything. I LS: I love colorful emails. once burned tea. I don’t1.5% Like, I won’t read even know how that’s an email if it’s not possible. I think the in color. When oneWhy thing I can do do you go to the movies? I’m sending out really well is cereal, emails, I definitely 3.1% and that’s because I 6.3% hype up the color Other eat mine dry. scheme and the It's a way to hang out with friends emoticons.

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The low cost of watchloween costumes your favorite ing seven movies on iTunes for >> Total amount of planned out yet? old–school Disless than 30 bucks is worth the money spent in movie LS: I am the worst ney princess? many conveniences that online theaters* by Penn at Halloween cosLS: I wanted to paid services afford us: not bestudents each semester tumes.

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BY THE NUMBERS

34TH STREET Magazine December October 25, 1,2012 2011

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Hey, guys, it's Homecoming Weekend! Who cares?

DO: Go for the classic ghosty look. There’s nothing sexier than a shapeless sheet.

DON’T: Cut one too many holes in the sheet. Keep track of your holes. Don’t misplace your holes.

DO: Go for the cultural reference — whattup, Paul Ryan?

DON’T: Go niche. If it will take more than two seconds to explain (e.g. lesser– known Lady Gaga get–ups; anything from Doctor Who; visual puns on campaign catchphrases), stay away.

DO: Coordinate costumes with your hall.

Fellowship of the Rodin Ring, anyone?

DON’T: Just get high and face paint all over each other. That ain’t a costume. Save that shit for Fling.

DO: Wear a wig to increase the believability of your costume. A little fake hair goes a long way.

DON’T: Indiscriminately buy that one ratchet wig from the dollar store. Go hard or go home — if you’ve gotten to the point where you decided you wanted to wear the wig, at least do it right. If it looks like it could catch fire if the room gets too hot, you’re doing it wrong.

DO: Grab a little bit of your favorite candy for old time's sake. And by “your favorite candy” we mean: ass, drugs and Sour Skittles.

DON’T: Go trick–or–treating. That ship has definitely sailed.

DO: Stay in character. If you’re a dead person, moan and stumble around and throw up on people. If you’re a Village Person, make out with a lot of other men.

DON’T: Take it too far. If you commit too extensively to your costume, you might just lose yourself to it. Don’t create something you can’t control.

DO: Select a different costume for each night. If you’re gonna play the game, play it right.

DON’T: Repeat costumes. Do you have any respect for yourself? Do you really think people want to see your “nerd” outfit three nights in a row? Do you even go here?

@34st

1. Lingerie + Animal Ears As tempting as it is to spend your whole night quoting Karen Smith’s iconic phrase, “I’m a mouse, duh,” it’s probably time to upgrade the costume you’ve been wearing since “Mean Girls” came out. But if you insist on being something small, furry and suggestive, try dressing up like one of the crazed Penn squirrels. Or you could be the stingray that attacked Steve Irwin.

2. Police Officer, Firefighter, Etc. While saying things like “Ooh, underage drinking! Don’t worry, I think I can get you off,” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) is fun, we recommend you leave impersonating America’s heroes to the pros (and by that we mean strippers and/or pole dancers). A Penn Police Officer or walking escort uniform would be much more fun to make scanty, especially if, while wearing that costume, you then ask for an escort home.

Twinz!!

3. Tom Cruise in Risky Business This costume is perfect in that it is both sneakily lascivious (kind of) AND manages to hide your beer bellies and food babies. But guys, if you can’t name the song Tom dances to in this scene, you’re going to need to find another excuse to wear your boyfriend’s tighty–whities. We suggest you try being the other famous, barely–clad Thomas of our generation: Tommy Pickles.

4. Sexy Schoolgirl Judging solely by the prevalence of this costume, one might be led to believe that on our college campuses, pedophilia is, like, sooo totally mainstream! Can we not? If you’re really hankering to wear your tween sister’s skort that you filched over Fall Break, try “sexy librarian” instead: different fantasy, same costume. Or, if you’re just trying to pay tribute to Britney, do a little research first — "Slave 4 U," for instance.

Extra points if you incorporate a snake (preferably live).

5. Lax Bro At least at Penn, the Lax Bro option (costume typically includes pinny tank–top, lacrosse stick, high tube socks, etc.) was invented exclusively to give skinny, nerdy Jewish boys the opportunity to live out unfulfilled fantasies about how life would be if they were their complete opposite: a buff, waspy, inexplicably girl magnet–y idiot. But those pinny’s don’t lie, fellas. The only things you’re going to end up accomplishing are one highly impressive projectile vomit following your failed keg stand and significantly lowered self– esteem amongst all of the girls you try to hit on when they realize their arms are bigger than yours. If you really want to be a waspy athlete, go for a fencing costume — that way no one can see your face or body type!

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

Have you seen "The Human Centipede"? We have a costume idea for you and two friends.

THIS HALLOWEEN, Don't Dress UP AS THESE CLICHES

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

HALLOWEEN

5

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

FILM

FALL BREAK

HIGHLIGHTS

The 21st Annual Philadelphia Film Festival kicked off last Thursday and Film was there to review some of the most notable screenings.

CLOUD ATLAS If you liked “The Matrix,” you’re bound to enjoy the latest cinematic creation (which has six distinct storylines with the same actors in each one) from Andy and Lana Wachowski.

Though Keanu didn’t undergo quite as many wardrobe or makeup changes (on camera, that is), “Cloud Atlas” carries a similar stylistic swagger throughout, with adept action sequences and sleek cinematography to spare. Despite the chore of molding the film into a coherent storyline, “Cloud Atlas” is, in a word, epic.

Any attempt to encapsulate the plot(s) here would be in vain. Suffice it to say that Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent and Hugo Weaving — among a host of others — play the roles of people whose lives span time and space (just like the trailer promised) and their actions ripple through time, sparking future events.

Scenarios include Hanks as a tribesman, Berry as a journalist and Broadbent as an old publisher attempting to escape from a nursing home.

The impressive range and believability brought by the film’s cast adds up to a powerful and surprisingly funny flick. Though it may take two or three viewings to put all the pieces together, the potentially painstaking 163 minutes were instead consistently and delightfully engaging.

––Stephen Morgenstern

THE SESSIONS

HOLY MOTORS Every year, Cannes cedes one of its Hollywood–monopolized screens for a patriotic celebration of insanity. Making its way stateside on a wave of applause is Leos Carax’s “Holy Motors,” the token wacky French film of this year’s festival circuit.

A man spends the day being driven through Paris in a white limousine fulfilling a series of "appointments", each requiring an elaborate disguise and the adoption of a new persona.

He’s at turns an elderly beggar woman, a motion–capture artist, and a Quasimodo–esque sewer dweller.

It’s an enjoyable romp — standouts include musical numbers featuring a large troupe inside a moody Cathedral, and Kylie Minogue milling through an abandoned department store.

There’s a persistent threat of the absurdity defeating itself, and the self–parody of cinema turning into an unintended one aimed at the French. But Carax staves off self–importance with a “plot” that’s a curveball. Grandiose ideas are obscured in the dialogue of talking cars, or a family of chimps.

It’s an abrasive picture that’s uncompromising and at times, downright gruesome. But it’s also an unforgettable shred of cinematic history and culture, as delightful as it is perplexing.

––Elizabeth Horkley

REMEMBER: THE FEST IS YET TO COME!

— Barunie Kim

The Philadelphia Film Festival runs through this Sunday, with screenings of anticipated flicks like “A Late Quartet” and “Hyde Park on Hudson” still to come. Additionally, the classic 1982 horror film “Poltergeist” is being screened as part of the festival tomorrow night at Shoemaker Green and the Denzel thriller “Flight” is at Annenberg on Saturday (closing night!), with director Robert Zemeckis (of “Forrest Gump” fame) in attendance.

XOXO, 6

“The Sessions” follows the true journey of poet Mark O’Brien (John Hawkes), who, at age 38, finally decides to lose his virginity. The key difference between him and the 40 Year Old Virgin, however, is that Mark is paralyzed from the neck down and spends most of his life in an iron lung. With the blessing of his priest (William H. Macy), Mark hires a sex surrogate (Helen Hunt) to do the deed with him.

This film is far more than a sex story. Director Ben Lewin gracefully leads us beyond the journey of a virginal disabled man and into the mind of a writer exploring the bounds of both physical and emotional love. We experience fear, pain, desire and passion with Mark, who pulls us along with his own brand of cynical, witty optimism. His offbeat sense of humor keeps many of the darker themes lighthearted.

Hawkes effectively connects with the audience, pulling at heartstrings with frank yet charming narrations. As a sex surrogate, Hunt brings a stellar performance and shares a poignant chemistry with Hawkes. The few scenes that offer a glimpse into her personal life are tantalizing.

It is clear that every scene of "The Sessions" has been artfully crafted. With Mark O’Brien’s actual poetry woven into the screenplay, accompanied by the powerfully emotional interplay among the characters, “The Sessions” feels like an eloquent poem materialized as a film. Moving and unexpectedly relatable, this spectacular independent film is a must–see.

Check out Street’s review of “Simon Killer” and our interview with director Antonio Campos at 34st.com!

MOVIEMAKER PROFILE: LANCE WILDORF

Download the score to any number of recent movies, and you may hear some familiar sounds coming through your speakers. And no, we’re not just talking about the many pop remixes that populated the “Pitch Perfect” soundtrack. More and more, popular, contemporary musicians are moving into John Williams’s territory, injecting films with a distinctly modern, trendy flare. Skrillex is the latest example, as he will soon lend his talents to the score of Harmony Korine’s new flick “Spring Breakers.” In praise of such artists for keeping film on the cutting–edge, Street has compiled a list of some of the coolest entertainers currently bringing their music to the multiplex.

When senior Lance Wildorf isn’t working on Punch Bowl or interning for Mad Magazine, he’s busy writing movies — he recently completed his first screenplay, entitled “Seligman’s Dogs." Street sat down to hear a little more about his work and inspiration.

By SAMANTHA APFEL

Johnny Greenwood – “There Will Be Blood” The Radiohead guitarist set a sneakily foreboding tone to Paul Thomas Anderson’s ruthless 2007 film. Greenwood repurposed bits of his own music from previous orchestral pieces, warping and twisting classical sounds into a score that is at times strikingly gorgeous, at others nails–on–a–chalkboard discomfiting. A true master in the combination and rearrangement of modern sounds and period tracks, Greenwood can also be heard on the soundtrack to Paul Thomas Anderson’s newest film, “The Master.”

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – “The Social Network,” “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Reznor, of Nine Inch Nails fame, partnered with Ross, a composer/producer, to turn what could have been a staid origin story about a computer nerd into a sexy, sinister saga. Their dark, ambient score illuminated the underlying battle between Zuckerberg’s baser instincts toward greed and corruption and his lighter, more compassionate aspects. Mythic stuff, to be sure, and yet the sci–fi blasts laid on deep, consistent beats lent the tracks an air of modernity, grounding the film in the present. The two made magic happen twice with Fincher’s next project, the “Dragon Tattoo” adaptation. Their icy, tinkling tracks helped construct the film’s world of constant snowfall and bleak vistas, chilly winter nights and chillier serial killers lying in wait. And everybody should listen to Trent Reznor and Karen O.’s cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song," a haunting, screeching version that backed the opening credits and set an ominous tone. Did Fincher think he was making a Bond film or something?

The Chemical Brothers – “Hanna” Another electronic duo, though this one took a much subtler approach to scoring their genre–blending action flick. The score’s light, chiming notes, paired with whistling effects and cooing harmonies, provide a stripped–down arrangement, sidestepping the overblown orchestration that Daft Punk favors. Yet the twinkling music–box theme, when juxtaposed with a more sinister bassline, is evocative of the dark fairy tale tropes woven into the story. Hanna is a stunted girl who stumbles upon the modern world, and the light–and–dark dualities of each track reflect her coming–of–age struggles.

Street: What first got you interested in screenwriting?

Lance Wildorf: Probably around eighth grade I realized I liked writing a lot and being creative, and when I was younger I wanted to be a comedian, but I realized I like the writing aspect more. I always try to psychoanalyze why I like to write and make other people laugh, and my conclusion was that I was never, like, very physically imposing so I always had to disarm people with laughter.

Street: Is this your first screenplay?

LW: Yeah, it’s my first script. I wrote the first draft in Professor Kathy DeMarco Van Cleve’s fun, informative and all–around awesome screenwriting class, a class that I recommend to every potential screenwriter here at Penn. I’d say a good 85% of my script was written in the solace of the Harnwell Rooftop Lounge. Nothing makes you think of crazy plot devices like gawking out at the ominous Philly skyline while simultaneously watching the pre–meds

LiLo and a Porn Star in "The Canyons" @34st.com

play with plastic molecule models at 2 in the a.m. It’s one thing to have an idea for a screenplay, it’s another thing to write THE END on the very last page.

Street: What’s your screenplay about?

LW: My screenplay is about a mediocre novelist, Ralph Seligman, who bags groceries at the local grocery store and decides to fake his own death to get his novel published.

He lives with his best friend who’s a big stoner and also won the lottery. Then there’s this sneaky type of agent character who eventually realizes the story of a tortured artist who kills himself is a quite marketable one and kind of explores the idea of, in today’s generation, is there any good art anymore?

Read rest the 34st @ .com

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

Daft Punk – “Tron: Legacy” This electronic duo set a vivid score for the “Tron” remake, effectively matching the film’s over–the–top CGI effects. The music’s highs and lows are so grandiose and bombastic that they nearly sound like a Hans Zimmer parody. In fact, it is quite reminiscent of a video game score, as one is given the distinct impression of moving through various battles and triumphs as the tracks progress — a fitting sound for such a richly visual film.

BY MARLEY COYNE

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SPINNIN' (SOUND)TRACKS

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012 8

MUSIC

A TOAST TO DEAR OLD WIG The oldest all–male musical comedy group in the nation is backed up by one of campus’ best bands.

BY ALEX HOSENBALL

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ou sit down, the lights go down and the cast starts to boogie down.

The music starts, the show is starting and you’ve already started feeling jovial as the antics onstage play out.

Generally speaking, this is how Mask and Wig shows proceed, of course with helpings of cross–dressing, tap– dancing and a level of overall raunchiness that might make your grandmother cringe.

However, the cast cannot exist without the Mask and Wig band, perhaps one of the best bands on campus, known in particular for its creative covers and annual antics at Fling. Of course, life resembles something of a constant struggle for its bandmembers, who must balance several hours of practice per night throughout the semester before each show.

On the eve of those shows, life gets even more hectic, as the whole troupe comes together to put everything into action.

Beginning with auditions, the band must be very particular. Every year, different

spots become available, so many musicians often have to be turned down simply because there aren’t any free spots. Auditions may be tough, but life gets even tougher afterwards, as the entire troupe gears into production mode until the fall show premiere.

The job of the Band also includes arranging popular pieces by hand and crafting certain pieces from scratch.

Before the process begins for any show, the Band comes together and brainstorms a list of 20–some songs to play during the scene changes and band–centric sessions, ranging in variety from the ever– popular "Hey Arnold!" theme to band–leader Greg Oliveras’s favorite, "Knights of Cydonia" by Muse. Once the band narrows the list a little, they assign arrangements to every member. Each member must then head home and work on an arrangement for the whole band, using their own knowledge and computer programs to come up with pieces. Oliveras explained that the band arranges most

1888 The Mask and Wig Club is founded by Clayton Fotterall McMichael 1889 "Lurline," the Club’s first ever production, debuts for one night at Chestnut Street Opera House

pieces themselves; very rarely do they order music online.

Next the pieces go to rehearsal — if someone finds errors in a piece, then the band either fixes it there, or just asks the composer to fix it at home. Finally, the year’s designated “Music Man” has to keep track of the music: from new arrangements to old hits, all pieces should be ready for any given show.

Rehearsals only happen more frequently as the show heads towards opening night. Not only does the band arrange its popular tunes, it also writes certain parts of the show, including the tap numbers for every performance. Oliveras had

to write the tap for tonight’s show; surprisingly enough, he didn’t finish until this past Saturday. Even with all of these commitments in– band, all of the members try to maintain “Band 4.0” and “Band Fit.0,” their code for good academics and healthy bodies.

Despite all this devotion, most of the band doesn’t study music. In fact, aside from Oliveras himself, few seem to be seriously considering careers in music.

Oliveras is concentrating in Marketing and minoring in Music, but doesn’t find his Whartonite career options enticing. Rather than head into consulting or banking, Oliveras wants to go into music professionally, using his connections and skills to make it as something more than just the Wig Band’s leader. Considering Wig’s strong alumni network and Oliveras’s devotion to the band, maybe he can.

Though their goals may be disparate, the band stays together as a brotherhood, ready to play and practice when faced with the stress of the ever–approaching deadline. And when it’s over? Expect highballs and joviality.

1894 An old Lutheran Church at 310 S. Quince St. is remodeled into the Mask and Wig Clubhouse, designed by architect Wilson Eyre and decorated by artist Maxfield Parrish 1908 Thanks to an endowment from Mask and Wig alumni, a section of the Quad dormitory is named after the club 1952 Mask and Wig appears (for the first of four times) on "The Ed Sullivan Show" 1999 Mask and Wig establishes the intercollegiate “Comedy Festival,” which has brought comedians like Stephen Colbert, Gilbert Gottfried and Keenan Thompson to campus.

2008 Fire breaks out in the clubhouse, but nothing historically important is ruined 2012 "A Reptile Dysfunction," Mask and Wig’s 123rd Spring production, is performed on an annual cross–country tour TONIGHT Wig's latest show, "Tights, Camera, Action!"

MAYER HAWTHORNE AND CHEERS ELEPHANT

ALBUM REVIEWS TAYLOR SWIFT— "RED"

BY KATARINA UNDERWOOD

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sure to note, and in this way he delivered. He was personal with the crowd, cracking jokes and weaving anecdotes into the soulful, sensual music.

Hawthorne rocked both nerd–chic swagger and a musical pop/funk hybrid — maybe a doubtful combination at first, but one that ended up getting the entire crowd swaying to this unique Motown throwback. And not only were Hawthorne’s own songs catchy and tasteful — a rare blend in today’s pop music — but the brief

homages he paid to Hall & Oates and Frank Sinatra were the cherry on top of this very classy cake.

Through phenomenal vocals and stage presence, Mayer Hawthorne provided the perfect atmosphere for a bunch of restless college kids searching for something fresh and fun in this year’s fall performance. The men were silently reconsidering their wardrobe choices, the ladies were swooning and Harrison Auditorium was alive with funk. Well done, SPEC.

GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR — "ALLELUJAH! DON'T BEND! ASCEND!"

With the release of "Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!"

Godspeed You! Black Emperor has ended a decade–long span without an album, reasserting their lofty position on the post–rock totem pole. As with the rest of their work, the album is dominated by long periods of experimental ambience punctuated by periods of driven melody. The first two tracks, which together total up to 25 minutes, feature sounds inspired by the Near East, while trance–like riffage and soaring guitar screams on “We Drift Like Worried Fire” serve as reminders of GYBE’s indie rock roots.

Despite its ambient label, most people wouldn’t want to put on "Allelujah!" as some nice background music while chopping garlic for dinner. The songs are intense, dark and require that you’re in the mood for a few 20–minute songs. If that’s not you, understood. If intellectually demanding post– rock instrumentals are your cup of tea, however, "Allelujah!" will doubtlessly please. Each track is rich, cohesive yet varied and beautifully arranged. The melodies captivate by virtue of their rarity. GYBE is back, and for fans of the genre, it’s been a long time coming.

— Jack LaViolette

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

n previous years, SPEC has brought indie rock groups to campus for its annual Fall Concert, but this year they decided to switch things up with neo–soul singer and all–in–all classy dude, Mayer Hawthorne.

When Cheers Elephant, the local opening act, stepped onstage, audience members stayed cool and composed in their seats, waiting for the music to start as if waiting for a movie to play. This rigidness ended not even halfway through the psychedelic pop band’s first song, and the energy that pulsated from the now– standing crowd lasted the entire set, preparing the mood for Mayer Hawthorne.

Shortly afterward, a bright red suit, black bowtie and pair of thick– rimmed glasses bounced into view — the first signs that things were about to get funky. This wasn’t a concert, it was a show, Mayer Hawthorne made

With the release of her pensive new album, “Red,” Taylor Swift shows off a more mature version of herself. The record's only anti– boy rant is the cutely cranky “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Everything else — such as the dubstep–esque “I Knew You Were Trouble,” and “The Last Time,” a surging duet with Snow Patrol’s Gary Lightbody — is adult. Both “22” and “Starlight” are about the timelessness of youth. The perky “Stay Stay Stay” mentions groceries and settling down. And “Everything Has Changed,” a raw duet with Ed Sheerhan, is a graduation into the indie coffeehouse jams of the thoughtful twentysomething. She’s still wholesome, lively, and genuine, but she’s older — and she’s seeing anything but red.

— Olivia Rutigliano

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CONCERT RECAP:

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So why should we shop at farmers’ markets? Why does eating local matter? “It’s food

farmers’ market is a way to get to know your food by getting to know the farmer who grew it.

There are other benefits, too, according to Pierson: “If it’s fresher it tastes better. It may be more healthful. Environmentally, the carbon footprint should be a lot less because it’s not going over these long distances that the world food supply goes over. The farms are typically small family farms and they typically take better care of their land…

It strengthens the regional economy and rural culture.”

There are a number of reasons for Philadelphia’s shift from fresh food desert to urban– oasis–in–the–making, but a lot of it comes down to one man: Bob Pierson.

When: Thursdays, 12 p.m.–6:30 p.m.

Where: 16th St. Concourse between Market and JFK What to Buy: Fruit, beef, eggs

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RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

When: Saturdays, 10 a.m.–2 a.m.

Where: 18th and Walnut What to Buy: Hummus, ostrich eggs, sausage

If you stop by Rittenhouse

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FITLER SQUARE

Kiley Bense is a senior from Devon, PA. She is studying English and edits the Music section of 34th Street.

When: Saturdays, 9 a.m.–2 p.m.

Where: 23rd and Pine What to Buy: Lettuces, whole– grain bread, herbs

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When: Saturdays, 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

Where: Powelton and Lancaster What to Buy: Vegetables, dairy products, baked goods

SUBURBAN STATION

Bob Pierson is still on his way to realizing the version of Philadelphia he imagined back in 1996, where farmers are paid fairly for their goods and city dwellers reject processed foods in favor of fresh, local produce. There's still a lot of work to be done.

Penn students are part of a larger regional community.

Whether students choose to

this Saturday, you’ll probably see moms in gym clothes, pushing strollers and toting blocks of cheese and bundles of straw flowers, along with guys in cargo pants holding jars of Lancaster County honey, talking politics with the neighbors. You might not see Bob Pierson — these days, a Farm to City staff member oversees the market’s weekly opening — but you’ll know that without him, it’s possible that none of it would be there.

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This all sounds great, but there are limits to farmers’ markets’ reach, especially in a city like Philadelphia, where 26.7% of the population was classified as poor by the Pew Trusts in 2012.

“We’ve tried to do farmers’ markets half a dozen times in low–income areas. And it’s not a good fit,” Pierson says.

The problem is that farmers tend to be low–income themselves, and they cannot afford to sell at the prices that people living at or below the

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security,” Pierson says. “You want to be close to the people who supply your food, because then you have more influence on what they do.” In Pierson’s opinion, too many Americans depend on processed foods for nutrition, inadvertently supporting giant food corporations that typically trade in less–than–savory environmental and ethical business practices. As Dr. Chrzan points out, it’s to our advantage to protect local farmers, because without them our region can’t feed itself. Buying local at a

acknowledge it or not (and Bob Pierson would much rather they did), their dietary decisions have repercussions that echo far beyond the narrow borders of Penn’s campus.

Opting for a Honeycrisp apple from an orchard within 100 miles of campus instead of a shrink–wrapped baggie of apple slices from a grocery store is not just good for you — it’s also good for Philadelphia.

Even undergraduates on Bon Appetit's dining plans can eat seasonal and regional ingredients in Commons and Houston Hall, such as mushrooms from Kennett Square, PA or tomatoes and from Vineland, NJ.

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

couldn’t keep up with larger, industrialized operations that were designed with the sole purpose of churning out corn, soy or wheat in enormous quantities.

Pierson’s determination paid off because his idea made sense. Farmers could set their own prices. Customers benefited from easy access to fresher, tastier food. Word spread as “the adventuresome” first farmers found success, and more farmers followed.

These days, Farm To City has to turn potential vendors away

poverty line are able to pay.

According to Pierson, Americans have, across the socioeconomic spectrum, lost essential kitchen skills and the cooking know–how that used to be passed down from generation to generation. With the advent of cheap, pre–packaged dinners and readily available fast food, many Americans don’t know what to do with fresh fruit and vegetables from a farmers' market. This issue is exacerbated in low–income neighborhoods because people there are often working multiple jobs and commuting long distances. They don’t have the time to regularly cook meals from scratch. But Farm To City hasn’t given up trying to confront this challenge. It is partnering with the Philadelphia Housing Authority again this season, after a failed attempt last year, to provide what Pierson calls “an affordable package of food… particularly for low–income housing.”

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because there is not enough demand to accommodate all of them. In its efforts to assist and promote local farmers’ interests, Farm To City now also runs community supported agriculture programs, or CSAs, as well as Winter Harvest, a buying club that allows city residents to purchase local produce in the months when most farmers’ markets are dormant.

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Pierson’s work isn’t, at its fundamental core, about enriching the city or its citizens.

Instead, it’s about supporting Pennsylvania and New Jersey farmers and saving their lands from suburban sprawl in the process. Everything else flows outward from that main mission. Pierson’s father was the first director of parks in Bucks County, and Pierson cites his father’s wisdom when describing his own goals: “You can’t save farmland unless you save the farmers.” The farmers are Pierson’s clients, not the shoppers. He and his company are the farmers’ defenders, advocates and guardians.

“In the early years,” Pierson says, “it was hard to find vendors. I’d spend a lot of time around February and March on the phone at dinnertime, just calling these long lists of farmers.” Farmers were reluctant to come into a city that, though it was mere miles away, seemed a foreign place.

They were content to continue relying on the gamble of produce auctions, where, on a bad day, they could end up losing money because the fruit they’d brought to sell was so marked– down that it was worth less than the boxes that contained it. Small family–owned farms trying to compete in the commodity crop market faced even tougher economic conditions.

Chrzan says, “[Local] farmers cannot make a living by selling vegetables to wholesalers.

They cannot compete with foods grown in Mexico and Costa Rica.” Local farmers

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MARKETS CLARK OPEN YEAR– PARK When: Saturdays, 10 a.m.–2 p.m.

Where: 43rd and Baltimore What to Buy: Apple cider, hand– ROUND made chocolates, mushrooms

an old friend of Pierson’s, says Pierson was instrumental in helping to publicize and implement the idea of the “outdoor, one–day–a–week farmers' market” in Philadelphia.

Before this movement began in the 90s, she says, “that model was one that had fallen out of favor for many American cities. It was something that was considered old–fashioned and not viable.”

hS

Dubbed the “Father of Phil-

adelphia’s Farmers’ Markets” by the Philadelphia Inquirer in April, Pierson helped to establish seven of Philly’s first farmers’ markets while working for the Food Trust, a non–profit that brings local produce to low–income areas. He left in 2000 to found Farm To City, a company that connects local farmers with local customers.

It currently operates 16 markets, including those at Rittenhouse and the Penn Bookstore. In 2008, Farm to City was named a regional Small Business of the Year by the U.S. Small Business Administration. In its first year, the profits from Farm To City’s markets came in at around $150,000. This year, their sales tipped the scales at more than $2 million.

At 72, Pierson is lean and wiry, with closely–cropped white hair and kind eyes.

When he’s out in the sun at one of his markets, he favors rolled–up shirtsleeves and a straw panama hat. In the early 90s, working as an environmental consultant, Pierson was inspired by a lone vendor who sold organic produce at a small table in Reading Terminal Market. He began looking for ways to turn his vision of neighborhoods dotted with locally–sourced food stalls into a living reality. His first farmers’ market opened at South and Passyunk in 1996.

Dr. Janet Chrzan, who is a nutritional anthropologist and

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French pastry with a caramelized crust and a custard center.

There’s a company peddling homemade hummus and one, called Urban Apiaries, advertising honey with the memorable slogan, “We turn flowers into gold!”

Despite the seeming ubiquity of farmers’ markets, their presence in Philly is a recent phenomenon. 20 years ago, there were no farmers’ markets here, no merchants peddling crates of squash or Mennonite farmers offering apples by the pound within metropolitan limits. There are a number of reasons for Philadelphia’s shift from fresh food desert to urban–oasis–in–the–making — this century’s “green” craze among them — but a lot of it comes down to one man: Bob Pierson.

Street

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

If you take a walk in Philadelphia on any Saturday morning in September, you’re bound to run into a farmers’ market. You know you’re getting close if you pass someone with a reusable shopping bag in one hand and a dog leash in the other. Round a corner and there it is: a row of square white tents, queued on the sidewalk, maybe edging a park or a patch of green, maybe just parked along the street.

The city’s biggest and busiest farmers’ market — and probably its most visible — is at Rittenhouse Square, beginning at 19th St. and stretching down Walnut before wrapping around to 18th. The Rittenhouse market boasts 30 vendors who hawk everything from pumpkins and herbal teas to apricot jam and raw goat's milk. There is a stall that sells ostrich eggs and another that specializes in canelés, a type of

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Tracing Philadelphia’s farmers’ markets back to their roots | By Kiley Bense | Photos by Sarah Tse

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012 12

FOOD&DRINK

WHAT THE SQUASH? From acorn to zucchini, we help you decipher the wonderful world of squash.

By NICOLE MALICK

Acorn Squash: The Penn squirrels should consider trading acorns for the flavorful, versatile acorn squash…maybe then they’d stop stealing our food.

This squash needs minimal preparation or no additional seasoning and it's best when roasted.

Pumpkin Squash: If you haven’t had pumpkin by now, even we can’t help you. This holiday season, try it in lattes, pies or beer. Also, pumpkin seeds have unique antioxidants that help prevent diabetes and even some forms of cancer.

Superfood, super delicious

Butternut Squash: Although made of neither butter nor nuts, this squash certainly tastes like buttah when prepared correctly. You’d be nuts not to like something so good for your heart (thanks, carotenoids!), as this guy is packed with vitamins and minerals galore.

Spaghetti Squash: …aaand, break! Spaghetti squash does exactly that when cooked, self– dividing into squash “noodles” right before your eyes. Whether boiled, baked or roasted, it packs a punch with both flavor and vitamins as a healthy, low–cal alternative to pasta. Delicioso!

Delicata Squash: This squash is a little confused — it looks like an oversized cucumber, tastes like a sweet potato and Microsoft Word thinks it’s misspelled. Identity crisis aside, this strange vegetable makes a great addition to any meal, whether roasted, quickly microwaved or sliced and baked as French squash fries.

Zucchini Squash: A cousin of the cucumber, this summer squash can be grilled, broiled, steamed, fried or stuffed. It cooks quickly and is a staple of cuisine from Mexico to Bulgaria. It ain’t easy being green, so lend zucchini a hand.

Second Mile Center Thrift Store Making a costume?

We’ve got the threads that’ll make your costume turn heads!

Get some squash–based fashion tips @ 34st.com

Yes, those are a thing.

214 South 45th Street (Between Locust & Walnut) 215.662.1663

Get your squash fix at any of these Philly locations.

By Allie Bienenstock

Time (1315 Sansom St.) Dish: Acorn Squash ($15) Prepared with whipped tofu, seared wild mushrooms and a ginger snap, this dish is sure to animate your taste buds both with its variety of textures and its distinct flavors. Time is a great place for a date or dinner with friends — the food is delicious, the ambiance relaxed and the fully–stocked bar doesn’t hurt, either.

Time

Talula’s Garden (210 W. Washington Sq.) Dish: Spiced butternut squash ($13) You shouldn’t need a reason to visit this downtown–chic Steven Starr restaurant, but we’re giving you one anyway. The ravioli appetizer is a flavor haven, prepared with ginger–scented butter sauce, squash–apple sauté, sage and toasted hazelnuts. Paired with the cozy ambiance, a trip to Talula’s is the perfect thing for a brisk fall day.

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SQUASH CITY, BITCH

Talula's Garden

Mercato BYOB (1216 Spruce St.) Dish: Pumpkin fettuccine (price not listed) If pumpkin fettuccine doesn’t sound interesting enough, you should be sold on the dish’s combination of roasted butternut squash, parmesan cheese, crispy parsnips and sage brown butter. The restaurant is BYOB, so grab a bottle of spiced rum and enjoy a full fall feast before the next downtown.

MORNING AFTER: SQUASH BURRITO

Scramble everything together over medium high heat. Wrap it in a tortilla and top with your favorite fixins. Puts any sweet potato burrito to shame.

Farmicia's Squash Blossoms

Farmicia (15 S. 3rd St.) Dish: Squash blossoms ($10.25) Since Farmicia was developed by the owners of White Dog and Metro, you’re contractually not allowed to object to this restaurant, an Old City eatery focused on serving wholesome, simple foods. Fried tempura–style, the blossoms are then stuffed with ricotta and drizzled with basil aioli, a refreshingly atypical way to serve squash.

Make it work. See more squash recipes @34st.com

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

–2 eggs, scrambled with salt and pepper –1/2 cup roasted butternut squash –1/4 cup black beans (the canned ones work) –1 plum tomato, chopped –1/4 tsp. ground cumin –1 flour tortilla

Mercato's Pumpkin Fettucine

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LOOK MA, I'M A SUPERFOOD: PUMPKIN SEEDS

Inside that pumpkin you picked, instagrammed and ate are some very powerful seeds. They are willing to lend a crunchy hand to just about anything in your fridge.

BY ABIGAIL KOFFLER AND ISABEL OLIVERES

Basic Roasted Pumpkin Seeds:

–1 cup whole raw pumpkin seeds (the ones you scooped out when you made that jack–o'–lantern) –1 teaspoon melted butter or olive oil –Pinch of salt Preheat oven to 300°. In a bowl, coat pumpkin seeds with salt and oil/butter. Spread seeds on a baking sheet in a single layer and bake until golden, about 30 minutes. Now you’re ready to party.

Add a handful to:

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

GRANOLA: Make your parfait even more parfait.

CHILI: Whether beef or three–bean, all chili can benefit from some pumpkin seed crunch — way edgier than tortilla strips.

SALAD: Make Sweetgreen jealous by topping your spinach with goat cheese, pumpkin seeds and a dash of balsamic.

ICE CREAM: Fudge and nuts are so elementary school. Top your frozen favorite flavor with caramel and salty pumpkin seeds for an unexpected twist.

Street sat down with Rob Golden, the Secretary of the Club Squash team, to talk about squash: the sport, the vegetable, the lifestyle.

34th Street: What is your favorite type of squash?

Rob Golden: Butternut Squash. It is smooth, damn good and so October.

34th Street: How do you like it prepared?

RG: Mashed…like my opponents on the courts.

34th Street: What reactions do you get when you tell people you are on the team?

RG: They usually don't react because I don't tell them that I am on the varsity squash team…because I'm not. But when I tell them that I am the Secretary for the Club Squash team they say, "That sounds like a bullshit position." To which I reply that it is in fact exactly that.

34th Street: Why did you join Squash?

Was it because you wanted to keep squash present in your life even when it's not fall?

RG: No, I joined because I have no athletic ability unless I'm holding a racquet.

(It is still hit–or–miss with a racquet but I do my best.)

34th Street: Please rate this campus's appreciation and awareness of squash (the vegetable and the sport) RG: I would say that people who aren't born in a cave have generally heard of the vegetable. The sport, on the other hand, is pretty anonymous until you say, "It's like racquetball but with a different ball," and then they pretend they know what you're talking about.

Did we mention squash?

Preview: October 25 Presented by The Women’s Committee to Benefit the University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology More information: www.wcpennmuseum.com PRESENTING SPONSOR

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SQUASH ON SQUASH

@34st

ARTS Christine Alix

PHILLY PHOTO DAY: OCTOBER 26

“I’m constantly inspired. It’s rare that something, even something simple, doesn’t captivate me in some way.”

BY GINA DECAGNA

Grab your Nikon (or iPhone, or whatever) and snap a pic! The Philadelphia Photo Arts Center wants you to join the citywide effort celebrating Philly and photography in this annual submission-based exhibition. Each participant contributes one photo that is printed and displayed for free among a kaleidoscope of others. Your photo will sell for $25/print at the show on December 6, and 240 photos will be displayed on billboards or SEPTA buses and trains. How’s that for street cred?

Check out 34st.com for an extended interview and video with photographer Christine Alix.

All you have to do is: 1. Take a photo on October 26, anywhere in Philadelphia. Show off your photo on Twitter with #phillyphotoday.

2. Go to philaphotoarts.org, register with your basic information and upload yourphoto (only one!).

3. Watch your photo become part of a collective masterpiece!

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012 16

ARTS

PUNK ARCADE

Ever been to a traveling DIY games exhibit? That’s what we thought. Hop on Septa and check out this alternative arcade on its last weekend in Philly.

BY JACK LAVIOLETTE he premise behind this month’s exhibit at northeast Philly’s Little Berlin is an appropriately novel one. The venue, which characterizes itself as an “undefined exhibition space,” is hosting an event that will likely become more and more commonplace in galleries across America: the art of videogames. The curators of the exhibit rounded up seven DIY video games made by artists from all over the globe, some who make videogames professionally and some who don’t, and turned the gallery into a “PUNK ARCADE.” Six cardboard–covered arcade consoles line the gallery, with another game projected on the front wall. In one, called “Big Huggin’,” the character is controlled by hugging and releasing a giant stuffed bear sitting next to the console. In another, “The Immoral Ms. Conduct,” in which you play as an inmate at a women’s prison, the player navigates the game by clicking from link to link in a series of Youtube videos.

Co–curator Lee Tusman, claimed that he and his colleagues came up with the idea after noticing a trend in the gaming world. Over the last few years, a huge wave of DIY games — games made with incredibly minimal soft-

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ware, such as iMovie and MS Paint — had popped up all over the internet. Some are meant as serious videogames, while others function more as interactive art pieces. Tusman hopes that putting these games in a gallery will force viewers to think about the creative processes and aesthetics behind video games in general. PUNK ARCADE is an installation that is as un-

Little Berlin 2430 Coral St. 10/27, 12 p.m. conventional as the crowd that it speaks to. It’s an experience worth the trip, for old– school gamers and art enthusiasts alike.

GET UP OFFA THAT (HALLOWEEN) THING …and let Street satisfy your culture cravings every week with these Philly finds.

BY MICHELLE MA

MASK & WIG'S "TIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!" Iron Gate Theater 37th & Chestnut St. 10/24–10/25, 8 p.m.; 10/26–10/27, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. $15 (door), $10 (on the Walk) “3D glasses will not be provided,” warns the flyer from Penn's male sketch comedy club. If you’re itching for some Mask & Wig, albeit with a superhero theme, their latest show is not to be missed. And of course, there’ll be dudes cross–dressing (as superwomen, we assume). Hey, they warned you.

QUADRAMICS' "DOG SEES GOD: CONFESSIONS OF A BLOCKHEAD" Houston Hall, Class of ‘49 Auditorium 3417 Spruce St. 10/25–10/26, 8 p.m.; 10/27, 7 p.m. $8 Ever wondered what the "Peanuts" gang would be like as teenagers? Well, someone else did too, and they made a play about it. If you’re not ready for your childhood comic strip to be defiled, don’t go. But we can’t wait to witness Charlie Brown, Pigpen, Lucy and co. transformed into stoners and goths TERROR BEHIND THE WALLS Eastern State Penitentiary Historic Site 2027 Fairmount Ave. Running until 11/10, select evenings $40 (door), $27 (online) If you dare, walk through six attractions inside the castle-like walls of this abandoned prison. If you pass a bloody nurse in “The Infirmary,” don’t worry, she’s just an actor…Or is she?

SILENCIO: A TRIBUTE TO DAVID LYNCH & ANGELO BADALAMENTI World Café Live 3025 Walnut St. 10/26, 9 p.m. $15 (day of show), $12 (advance)

Somebody bring back my NES.

@34st

If you haven’t jumped on the "Twin Peaks" bandwagon yet, now is the time. Silencio is like a Beatles cover band, except instead of “All My Loving” and “Yesterday,” this four–person group performs music from the films of David Lynch. Be ready for some jazzy mood music and dark ambiance. Date night, anyone?

It’s fall, and there’s no season that better suits our aspirations of dressing like a dapper aging gentleman. Here’s how to do it on the cheap, because back in gramps’ day, spending more than $10 on a sweater was absolutely bonkers.

BY EILLIE ANZILOTTI

Astro Vintage 720 S. 5th St

The Second Mile Center 214 S. 45th Street

For those with a more ladylike inclination. It’s on the pricier side, but where else are you going to find genuine houndstooth skirts from the 60s? (Well, apart from your grandmother’s closet).

Just a hop and skip west of campus, even the most arthritic among you can get here without straining your joints. And it’s the definition of thrifty — we once found a wonderfully patterned vintage Eddie Bower sweater here for $2.

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

GET YOUR GRANDPA STYLE ON

Circle Thrift 2007 Frankford Ave.

Sazz Vintage Clothing 60 N. 3rd Street

Philly AIDS Thrift

710 S. 5th Street Sure, you could get a whole outfit here, funky hat included, but you could also probably walk away with a record player and an entire kitchen set. That’s what we call one–stop shopping.

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

There’s no place better for quirky shirts and bowties that would be the envy of Mr. Rodgers. There’s also a buy–by–the–pound outpost right down the street in case you want to stock up on sweaters for the winter.

Practicality is key, you know.

This place has enough from every decade to satisfy any form of nostalgia, and all you youngins out there, listen up — there's a student discount. Enjoy it while you can.

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

LOWBROW

Do you feel that Halloween just isn’t what it used to be? Do you miss the feeling of excitement that you felt every year as a kid — excitement that has now been replaced by pure ennui? Are you bored of Halloween? Of course you are. Because you’re a pussy.

Halloween is the fucking best holiday in the world, and if you feel bored it’s your own damn fault. So sit your whiney ass down, shut your mouth, and fucking listen to these tips to help ‘roid up your boring–as–fuck Halloween.

• TP your professor’s office. During office hours.

While he’s still in there. Make him watch.

• Candy corn? NO. Raw corn.

• Spike the soups at the Bridge Cafe and Houston. Spike them with rubbing alcohol.

• Don’t just bob for puny–ass apples. Bob for EVERYTHING. You're a fucking animal.

• Take your own hayride to class. Make Locust Walk your bitch.

• Don’t dress up, dress all the way down. Buck– ass naked. Your beard is your costume. No beard? It’s not no–shave November yet. Grow one.

• Helicopter to each frat party. Even if two are next door to each other. You helicopter to each.

• Carve Jack–o'–lanterns with your bare hands.

Show no mercy.

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

• Only tricks. Fuck treats.

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DIY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES Don’t have time to buy yourself a Halloween costume? No problem! Lowbrow’s got a couple of quick fixes for your Halloween festivities — and you don’t even need to leave your dorm room to find them!

Jacket + Scarf + Gloves = Someone who’s cold Bandage skirt + Heels + Lipstick = Girl who’s going to a party Jeans + Shirt + Portable Hand Sanitizer = Someone who is worried about getting their hands dirty and wants to stay clean Sweatpants + Penn shirt + Textbooks = A student who attends this school, the University of Pennsylvania Underwear + Halloween costume (pre–bought) = Someone who is going out to celebrate the holiday of Halloween

OH NO GELATO A TRUE HALLOWEEN STORY

The date is October 31st, 2011.

It’s the spookiest day of the year, Halloween. Penn students and Philadelphians adorn themselves in colorful costumes and take to the streets.

The orange and yellow leaves are falling into puddles on Walnut as pieces of trash drift across the sidewalk like urban tumbleweeds.

Brrr. I have an idea! How about a nice autumnal drink? A pumpkin spice latte or some kind of nut muffin. Maybe even a regular latte with the foam shaped like a leaf. I’m in the mood for some fall spirit.

I head to my favorite purveyor of caffeinated drinks (which shall not be named). So I go in and I wait in line to place my order. The barista approaches and I am shocked by what she is wearing: a tan army uniform with a German flag on the side and an iron necklace. To top it all off, she's wearing blue–color contacts, and her hair slicked back and dyed blonde. Sorry, what?

“Uh, is your costume from WWI or WWII?” I ask timidly. “Does it really matter?” she responds. Does it matter? Does it matter if I’m ordering my autumnal frothy drink from a Nazi? Do I really want to tell you that I’m in the mood for a bagel?

Do you know how to make anything other than strudel? Do I really want to hand you my debit card with my super Jew–y last name on it? How do you have the chutzpah to dress up like a NAZI at your PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT? Oh, sorry, you don’t understand what chutzpah means?

Oh, you probably don’t know any Yiddish, judging from the fact that you’re dressed up like a Nazi, AT WORK. “Uh, I’ll have a coffee,” I say. Because I don’t want to mess with you. Because you’re dressed up like a Nazi.

Biden Pumpkin

Bumpkin Pumpkin

Dumpling Pumpkin

Pumpkin Pumpkin

Kama Sutra Pumpkin

Most Jack–o'–lanterns have goofy smiles. Joe’s the goofiest of ‘em all!

Because bumpkins love pumpkins.

Because pumpkins love dumplings.

So meta.

Decorate for Halloween and spice up your sex life at the same time!

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

Need some cool decorating ideas for your jack–o'–lanterns this Halloween? Try these out!

THE FOLLOWING SECTION IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

34th Street Bar Guide

CHERRYSTREET

tAVERN

A guide to bars and nightclubs on or near Penn’s campus

129 N. 22nd Street • 215-561-5683 — We’re located a block from the Schuylkill River Trail and known for our great community atmosphere. Come by for great food, great drinks, and a great time!

HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS DAILY • KITCHEN OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT

The Starlight Ballroom — 452-472 N. 9th Street • 215-908-2063 • starlight-ballroom.com Venue available to book parties!

Club Pulse — 1526 Sansom Street • 215-751-2711 • pulsephilly.com THURSDAY — COLLEGE NIGHT AT PULSE! 10:00 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. • Live Band and DJ all Night!

• Drink Specials $2 Beer, $3 Mix Drink

Dock Street Brewery & Restaurant

NO COVER CHARGE — TUE, THU, FRI, SAT AND SUN

Lucky Wednesdays: 18 to Party & 21 to Drink Top DJs will spin the night away!

11 pm to 3:30 am

701 S. 50th Street • 215-726-2337 • www.dockstreetbeer.com Founded in 1985, Dock Street is the 1st microbrewery in Philadelphia and one of the 1st in the country. Dock Street Brewery is located in a majestic, old firehouse. We’re known for our delicious, artisanal beers brewed on premise along with awardwinning wood fired gourmet pizzas, sandwiches, salads, vegan and vegetarian specialties. Movie night every Tuesday at 8pm!

Copabanana — 40th & Spruce • 215-382-1330 • copabanana.com/uni.php

Copabanana is THE place to go for margaritas! Half price margaritas Mondays from noon to midnight. Happy Hour Mondays to Fridays from 5-7pm. Open late seven days a week! Philly’s award winning DJ Karaoke Joe is now at the Copabanana 40th and Spruce from 9:30 on Thursdays !

STARTING OCTOBER 7th — Sunday brunch!

New Deck Tavern — 3408 Sansom Street • 215-386-4600 • newdecktavern.com

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

FREE PIZZA NIGHTS every Wednesday night from 9pm-2am. Industrial/house music night

Nestled on historical Sansom Street in University City, Philadelphia since 1986. We offer a vast array of draft beers. Our European draft beer system imported from County Cork, Ireland, gives us reason to boast that we pour the Best Pint in the City! Kitchen open till 1am daily w/half price menu Sun-Thurs. First Phila. Quizo location ever. Quizo every Mon and Wed at 10pm.

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Pring les g uy

EMERGENCY HALLOWEEN COSTUME KIT

evil genius

Did Halloween sneak up on you again this year?

Here's some last–minute costume help.

Mik e Ty son

34TH STREET Magazine October 25, 2012

cowboy

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porn star

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