September 27, 2012

October 4, 2012 34st.com

PILAM CONCERT INTERVIEW • GUIDE TO PARENTS WEEKEND • FIRST FRIDAY PREVIEW

october 4

7

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street,dispatch, overheards

celeb couples

4 EGO

ego of the week, lsat/restaurant week/parents weekend guide

6 FILM

liberal arts chart & review, trailer of the week, celeb couples, k–stew highilghts

8 FEATURE

behind the scenes at vetri

10 FOOD & DRINK mean girls thingies

12 MUSIC

norwegian arms, pilam concerts

13 ARTS

artist's studios, first friday guide, artist profile

14 LOWBROW kids' korner, 18+

norwegian arms at pilam

3

FROMtheEDITOR

FAMILY TIME

My parents came to Family Weekend freshman year. The first thing we did was drive downtown to their hotel. We didn’t set foot back on Penn’s campus until we were saying our goodbyes.

Fast forward three years later, and they’re coming back. The first thing we’ll do once they’re here is hightail it over to their hotel — in West Philly.

Freshman and senior years are atypical, and Penn — in the Van Pelt, Eric Furda and GPA–centric incarnation — factors into your thoughts the least when you’re facing the future, whether it be the next three years at Penn or the big world beyond graduation.

Truth be told, college only makes

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12

birth control woes

a glimpse into vetri's kitchen

Come write/photograph/design for Street! Because we won't hack you.

16 BACKPAGE

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

being thrifty

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sense when you’re a sophomore or a junior. You’re settled and comfortable, and the future is far enough away not to worry yourself with.

Mom and Dad may not know what the inside of Houston looks like by May, but I doubt they really care. Aside from the due concern they pay to their daughter’s alma mater, college probably doesn’t make much sense to them either.

We are, however, indulging in some good old–fashioned school spirit on Saturday. We’re all looking forward to finally seeing that toast Zamboni in action.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Barbie Joe Pinsker, Ken Adrian Franco, George Clooney Hilary Miller, Ellen DeGeneres Chloe Bower, Portia de Rossi Sarah Tse, David Bowie Laura Francis, Iman Inna Kofman, Sam Ronson Stephanie Witt, Lindsay Lohan Paige Rubin, Lucille Ball Zacchiaus Mckee, Desi Arnaz Patrick Ford–Matz, Ben Affleck Sandra Rubinchik, Jennifer Lopez

Katie Giarla, Jennifer Garner Patrick Del Valle, Bill Clinton Isabel Oliveres, Monica Lewinsky Abigail Koffler, Hillary Clinton Alex Hosenball, Billy Bob Thornton Ben Bernstein, Brad Pitt Kiley Bense, Angelina Jolie Ben Lerner, Clyde Barrow Samantha Apfel, Bonnie Parker Megan Ruben, Diego Rivera Eillie Anzilotti, Frida Kahlo Faryn Pearl, Pebble Lizzie Sivitz, Bamm–Bamm Colette Bloom, Sonny Bono Zeke Sexauer, Cher

Julia Liebergall, Siegfried Fischbacher Mariam Mahbob, Roy Horn Amanda Shulman, The Tiger Cover Photo: Sarah Tse Contributors: Manola Gonzalez, Jack LaViolette, Kimberly Schreiber, Allie Bienenstock, Hanna Kereszturi, Olivia Rutigliano, Kelly Lawler, Gina DeCagna, Bridget McGeehan

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor––in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898–6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "You don't fuck with patpat165. I had a Neopets mafia."

–P.D.V. ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a–okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

DISPATCH: TRYING BIRTH CONTROL 7:30 a.m.: Roll whale–like body under covers.

Life is futile.

9:00 a.m.: Attempt to put on pants.

9:30 a.m.: Wander around aimlessly in underpants. Disturb roommates. Snap malevolently back. Claim they lack compassion.

10:45 a.m.: Stare down shirt during class. Conclude boobs have gotten bigger. Decide that if I’m going to be a whale, I’m going to get something positive out of it.

12:00 p.m.: Snap at roommate for asking about the weather outside. Bitch.

12:30 p.m.: See little girl wearing an animal tail and tiara in Houston Hall. Commence weeping.

Appreciate her sense of individuality.

1:15 p.m.: Can’t find bench to sit on outside of VP. Wish for another plague to kill half of the stupid, bench–hogging population. Can’t they see how tight my pants are right now?

3:30 p.m.: Fall into a comatose state. No pants.

Hallelujah.

5:00 p.m.: Watch last episode of "Gilmore Girls."

Cry hysterically. When will someone love me like

Luke loves Lorelei? I just want her to be happy. Why can’t we all be happy? Oh cruel, cruel world.

5:45 p.m.: Watch first episode ever of "Gilmore Girls." Cry hysterically. Feel immense nostalgia for my entire life. Why can’t I be 12 again? I miss jean mini–skirts. Sigh.

6:00 p.m.: Eat a towering plate of noodles. Add two giant spoonfuls of butter.

6:30 p.m.: Stare at myself in the mirror. Decide I'm pregnant. Come up with baby names. Decide I'm going to die. Decide I hate everything. Decide to blame my boyfriend for everything. Forgive my boyfriend. Cry. 7:00 p.m.: Text sister about current lack of emotional stability and slow degradation of physical state. Reply received: “Lawl.”

10:40 p.m.: All I need is pizza. No, Pringles. Airheads. French fries. Fuck.

10:45 p.m.: I can’t eat Pringles. This little canister has 200 calories and like 50 grams of fat.

10:47 p.m.: Throw away empty Pringles canister.

Begin eating Airhead. It’s a pretty blue color.

THEROUNDUP

at

Freshman: My marketing textbook was $350 but I bursared it, which means it’s free, or something.

Girl: I hate when I think I find a cute dress in Urban and then pick it up and it’s like, “Fuck you, I’m a romper.”

Bro: The way college has conditioned me to ignore fire alarms is why and how I’m going to die.

Girl 1: All you think about is food, boys and school.

Girl 2: What else is there to think about — Judaism?

Starbucks employee: I’ve got a grande iced water for Mary!

BY COLETTE BLOOM

Throughout my time at Penn, I’ve amassed a truly unfortunate number of “that girl” monikers: “that girl who tweets a lot,” “that girl who makes sarcastic comments,” “that girl with the glasses,” to name a few. However, my most unfortunate identifier, by far, is “that girl who wears a lot of black.” While to you this may seem like a trivial issue, my boss this summer wouldn’t speak to me on days I wore grayscale.

I for one think it’s time to lift the metaphorical (and literal) dark shroud and tell you the truth about the Girl Who Wears Black.

When I was 10 years old, my mother started to let me pick out my own clothes. Faced with the garishly colorful wardrobe she had curated for me, I overzealously began leaving the house in orange pants, Kelly Green shirts, polka–dotted tops and plaid skirts that by this season’s standards would be actually be considered on– trend.

After a short intervention, she left me alone in my closet with one crucial piece of advice: black matches with everything. I guess it’s not all that interesting then, that as time passed I accrued a stockpile of black clothing: black pants for colored sweaters, black T–shirts for colored bottoms, and so on and so forth. The logistics of this phenomenon are of trivial importance, but as time passed, my wardrobe was gradually consumed by black.

Just the other day, a recent friend of mine looked at me and said, “you know, before I actually met you, I would see you walking around campus wearing all black, and I thought you were a real bitch.” Imagine my horror to be told, as a senior, that my sartorial choices have determined public opinion of me throughout my college career.

I’ve been asked if I wear black to be edgy or because it’s slimming. The truth is that I’m just not very good at matching. The point that I am trying to make, however, has little to do with the color black. The point is — and I hate to arrive at a self–serving, “don’t judge a book” conclusion — to spend less time in our own worlds passing judgment, and more time leaving our comfort zones. I for one am wearing pink tomorrow. Join me?

Vote for Tweet of the Week @ 34st.com

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

Penn elections and the voter ID law have sparked a lot of debate this week.

Let's stop fighting and do something we all can agree on: laughing at the weekly gossip.

Apparently some people are getting their fast food slogans all mixed up.

“Have it your way” is Burger King’s motto, but that didn’t stop some drunken seniors from trying to take advantage of it at Jimmy John’s. After a rough night out, the boys got a bad case of the drunchies and asked the employees if they could jump behind the counter and make their own. The cashier said no, but that didn’t stop them from trying. The guys were kicked out sans sandwiches, but evidence remains in the form of a sign that employees put up behind the counter, banning customers from trying to DIY. Pull up the drawbridge! Knights, arm yourselves! There’s been an attack on the Castle! Football boys wreaked havoc there over the weekend, vandalizing the frat’s pool table and front room by spraying fire extinguishers everywhere, stealing a few pairs of pricey headphones in the process. When musing over the question “why us?” the Castle boys decided that they were targeted because they’re “too nice.” Yeah, let’s go with that.

Don't be silly, wrap your willy! Some frats have taken these words of wisdom to heart. Beta boys in particular have decided to take safe sex seriously this year. Sources tell us the boys bulk–ordered 1000 condoms to share at their chapter house. Seems a bit ambitious, but who are we to judge? Dare to dream, we suppose.

Different night, same bar: Hoodie Allen hit up Blarney as well, but that wasn’t his only stop on Penn’s campus after his show at the Trocadero Sunday night. Highbrow hears the AEPi alum–turned–rapper went home with a XO girl and ended up spending some time at the XO house after a few drinks.

Not quite as dramatic as last year’s email exchange between a ZTA girl and James Franco, but we’ll take what we can get.

over heard PENN

BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK

highbrow ego film feature food & drink music arts lowbrow

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

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film & feature drink music arts lowbrow highbrow ego food drink food film & feature

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EGO FILM

DO YOUTHE PAY WEEK PER VIEW? EGOOF :STEPH KOTNIK

How Penn Students Watch Movies Borrow from Library

Don't Watch Movies 24.6% Film polled you find out how you are getting your Sunday afternoon When she’s nottoinadvertently posing for Hillel brochures, this Catholic Quaker Girl presides over Mortar Board Theaters movie fixes. Here’s learned. BY and educates the what next we generations ofANTHONY TriDeltsKHAYKIN and 8th graders.

T

hough we all know the Internet is for porn Street: (thanks What Avenue are you Q), inthe volved in at Penn? bedroom is no longer the only Steph Kotnik: I’m the terricaparea being ceded to digital tain of the Quaker Girls tory. For every girl with daddy’s dance and the president AmEx,team window browsing on of Mortar Board.

I the Fifth Avenue has been was replaced New Educator And for with Member online shopping.

TriDelt last spring and the FYEs everywhere have virtuHouse Manager ally been renderedbefore uselessthat. (pun intended) with the existence of Street: What are yourstore. hobthe multifarious iTunes bies outside of your extraThings are no different here curriculars? at Penn, where the Rave gets SK: I was myc gay nearly halftelling the traffi for unthe cle/BFF that I was Ego and I midnight screenings of blockwas going to be askedasabout buster hits like Twilight Hulu this, and I wasn’t surenewest what does the day after the to say. His episode of response 30 Rock was, airs. “Oh This Steph, that’s so easy!

Your makes sense. We Penn students hobbies drinking, dating are too are busy procrastinating Jewish boys and watching on Penn InTouch and designTLC realitylacrosse shows!”pinnies Good for or ing funny bad, that’s pretty accurate. the clubs we’re involved in to leave the comfort of our beds to

watch Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that Penn stufit this mold of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their Street: We hear “Jewish sophLeague students well,your with new only something RomCom filike x online with free pledge class gave you an omores are here to help you about 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel interesting nickname when to life at Penn.” watching movies at the Rave ev- adjust and Ch131 rather than payThe for you were their New Mempicture was from this ix event ery semester. services provided by Netfl and berBut Educator.

I guess behow about the other ste- “Latke–Palooza.”

Redbox?

SK: They called me Mother cause there was a menorah reotype, the one that says all colWhile 75% of us watch movSuperior.

She’s the head nun in the background and I can lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for in a convent—not that made that pass for Jewish, it seemed movement of information it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a group be makes com- like goodon choice ad? possiblecould by the ever interweb new arelease iTunesfor—an is hyspared to a convent of nuns It’s still on the JRP website! terical, but is —Whose but they knew that do I’myou take? recommendations it worth the Catholic, I go to church every47.7% Street: As Quaker Girls 50 1.5 salads at Other week, so because I was kind captain, what is your inspiSweetgreen 40% A Friend of 40the head of the brood, it ration for your dances? it would Cinema Studiesa lot of music stuck.

A lot of them still call SK: I watch have cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% me Mother or Mom. videos.

Lotsor TAand Ilots Be-it hadof seen Professor 20 yonce, back to thein Destiny’s theaters?

Street Street: Speaking of reliChild years even. I’m alsonooinRamen 10 *Students surveyed were allowed by to choose gion, you’ve mentioned spired mymoreteammates.

We dles aren’t than one option. that0 people often mistake have a really collaborative that bad, I you for being Jewish. environment on QG. guess.

SK: Sophomore year, I was entertainment accessible and The average Penn student on the cover of the with Hillel You did Break-if inexpensive to anyone an Street: (who is anything but average, flAirPennNet yer with a account. slogan that read through a couple of sumWouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch-

47.7%

Free Streaming

16.9% Paid Online Services mers ago. What did you fictional teacher? learn from that?

SK: Definitely Mr. Feeney.

SK: That was defi- 9.2% He’s sarcastic and sassy, nitely one of the but at the end of the most challenging day, a total softy. We 1.5% and most rewardhave that in coming experiences. I mon. taught 8th graders, Why do you go to the movies? and Street: There are 3.1%at that 6.3% age, two types of Other people Penn It's a way to hang out withat friends SK: Those who 25% It's a good study break 40.6% get into Smokes It makes you feel relaxed and happy through the 25% door and those Required for Class they who get in a l l through the have window. these ates seven movies, more or less, tevery i t usemester. d e s Simple arithmethat really tic proves that it’s $40 cheaper try to test to watch said movies on Netflix you, but Rave, and an addithan at the when youless on iTunes (cost Street: What tional $20 test them advice would of popcorn and Mike and Ikes back you can you give to not included in these calculareally see how your freshtions). The low cost of watchyoung they are man year ing seven movies on iTunes for >> Total amount of and they’re still self? less than 30 bucks is worth the money spent in movie just kids that online SK: I manythese conveniences theaters* by would Penn tell that want their paid services afford us: not bestudents each teachers to like by incessant hersemester to go out ing interrupted them.

I grew to more on weekbuffering and commercials, the appreciate my ednights because immunity to computer viruses ucation in a new s o m e t imes and most importantly, not havway.

The kids those nights ing to wait 54 minutes after also taught me can turn >> Total amount of watching 72 minutes of a movie how to Dougie out to be money spent watching on Megavideo. andNotCat Daddy a f t e r s o m e of the best online, if all people who to mention, it’s a small aprice lot to of pay mockery how often moreservices fun than paid for online when about you look at nights, my moves were “too stiff.”

It the weekends.

Also, cut down used iTunes* the big picture — the combined was a very reciprocal learning on the late–night snacking. savings of the 47.7% of Penn process. students who pay for their online It’s going to catch up with services rather than going to the you and it’s not gonna be Street: Who’sis your favorite movie theater somewhere be- pretty. tween $196,136 and $295,344, >> Total amount of depending on whether they use money spent watching Netflix or iTunes, respectively. online, if all people who Moral of the story is: we won't paid for online services judge if you just stay in bed. used Netflix*

BY THE NUMBERS

34TH STREET STREET Magazine Magazine December October 4,1, 2012 34TH 2011

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48

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$295,344

Parents: Your task this weekend is to be more hung over than your kids. *A simple random sample

of 100 Penn undergrads were surveyed to collect data about their film viewing habits.

*$12.50/ticket at the Rave *$3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes *$7.99/month on Netflix

@34st

READING COMPREHENSION

Parents, we know that keeping up with your kids can be like trying to speak another language. Unfortunately, in the realm of college talk, it only gets worse. Test your reading comp skills with these friendly phrases you’re sure to hear this Parents Weekend.

Your child says — "My roommate is really nice. We kind of never go out together, but it’s like the perfect rooming situation!"

Your child means — She studies a lot and judges me hard for my excessive drinking/slutty going–out outfits, but never says anything, so it’s nbd.

Says — "Class is actually pretty easy!

I’m finding the workload totally manageable."

Means — After a brief, hot second of motivation, I realized that it’s literally impossible to keep up with reading for all of my classes. So now I’m simply doing none of it.

Says — "Nah, I’m not really seeing anyone right now. I’m still getting adjusted and everything."

Means — I’ve slept with a whole fraternity lineage and have earned myself a nickname. I won’t say it’s “That whore in Ware,” but I will say that it rhymes with “That boring chair.”

Says — "Nah, I didn’t go out last night. We all stayed in to study and watch movies. It was totally college."

Means — I’m still drunk.

PARENTS WEEKEND ANALYTICAL REASONING

• • • • •

You can shower or clean your room, but not both.

If you don’t remove the rando, Mom’s gonna insist on having “the talk.”

Your history recitation response is due right now.

You can hide all of your alcohol either in the closet or in the laundry hamper.

Your pants must be on.

TIME’S UP! Knock knock. Who’s there? “Hey honey! ...Who’s your friend?”

Says — "I think I’m ready to declare my major! Biophysics, here I come!"

Means — I’m deciding between African Percussion, Sign Language and just dropping out.

Says — "Recitations are…well, like… they’re sort of…it’s hard to describe."

Means — I’m sleeping with my TA. Says — "I’m sleeping with my TA." Means — I’m sleeping with my professor.

RESTAURANT WEEK LOGICAL REASONING Your parents are aggressively GChatting you from their hotel room about how super stoked they are to check out this new, quirky place in Center City. Pretending like you don’t have serious beer ponging to prep for, you humor them, and they send you a link to the restaurant’s dinner menu. One click leads you to a website riddled with pictures of sunny horizons, pebbled forests and smiling farmers. The menu itself flaunts a $35 prix fixe assortment of roasted beets, kale salad and quinoa.

Assuming that all of the above statements are true, which of the following can be most properly inferred about this restaurant?

A. “Quirky” is used here to mean “vegan co– op located in Philly because Brooklyn was too mainstream.”

B. Those smiling farmers depicted on the website were once Comparative Lit majors only a few recessions ago.

C. The name of this restaurant is some relatively– obscure–but–not–completely–forgotten female name from the 1800s. Like Minerva. Or Lavinia.

D. Five of your dollars go towards sustaining the restaurant. The remaining 30 go towards sustaining the owner’s “art.”

E. You’re going to leave hungry.

[CORRECT RESPONSE: All of the above.

Sucks.]

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

Good morning, sunshine! It’s Friday afternoon, and you’ve just woken up in a drool pool, compliments of the rando in your bed (Sam? Alex? Jordan?). And SURPRISE! It’s Parents Weekend! Mama and Papa just called, and traffic’s a little heavy around Cherry Hill, but they’ll be there in, like, 20 minutes, don’t worry!

There’s a lot to get done in this span of time usually reserved for catching up on last night’s episode of "Parks & Rec," so do yourself a solid and prioritize carefully, bearing in mind the following conditions:

Says — "That hospital bill? UGH I had some weird guacamole at the dining hall and was throwing up for days."

Means — 6 beers, 4 shots of José,

a joint, and half a Wawa sandwich proved too much. I may have also peed myself.

highbrow ego film feature food & drink music arts lowbrow

Everyone knows that besides Fling, Parents Weekend is the social pinnacle of the academic year. And, as if hungover breakfasts and invasive questions weren't enough, the LSAT falls this Saturday, too. Study up with our guide to the most glorious weekend of your family life.

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highbrow ego film feature food & drink music arts lowbrow

LOL

FILM

LIBERAL ARTS: DOES THE FILM RING TRUE? Writer–director–actor Josh Radnor (“How I Met Your Mother”) takes moviegoers back to school in "Liberal Arts," an indie comedy featuring Elizabeth Olsen and Zac Efron. Fully shot at Radnor’s alma mater, Ohio's Kenyon College, it captures the glory of college life on a campus quite different than Penn’s. BY BEN LERNER

On Screen

At Penn

All professors are depressed and over age 50

Have you met the bubbly 20–something writing seminar teachers?!

Frat parties have couches and room to move around

Sardine–like scenarios make unintentional “grind line” not uncommon

A sophomore is genuinely enthusiastic about eating at the dining hall

Say “Bon Voyage” to Bon Appetit

Student spontaneously and voluntarily spends hours wandering a grassy campus with 35–year–old alum

“My parents say I have to take you around, so come with me to my 3 GBMs, Pottruck, then chapter?”

Alum: “Wanna get coffee at, say, 9:00 tomorrow morning?”

Student: [laughs] “Oh, you’re serious? …How’s 11:30?”

Spot on.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

Second Mile Center

6

Making a costume?

Well we’ve got the threads that’ll make your costume turn heads!

FILM REVIEWS “LIBERAL ARTS” REMINDS US WHY WE’RE GLAD TO BE HERE

BY SAMANTHA APFEL

T

here is a reason why 19–year–old girls fall in love with 30–year– old men. “Liberal Arts,” the new comedy/drama from writer, director and star Josh Radnor, of “How I Met Your Mother,” attempts to illuminate the unusual nature of this age–defying pairing against the background of a more universal experience: college.

The film is set at an unnamed liberal arts school in the Midwest and was filmed at Kenyon College, Radnor’s alma mater. The shots of the school are absolutely breathtaking: long stretches of grassy walkways, wood–paneled dining halls and stately classroom buildings evoke the sense of nostalgia that Radnor’s character, Jesse Fisher, experiences upon a return to campus.

Jesse, a 35–year–old college counselor, is asked back to attend a retirement dinner for beloved professor Peter Hoberg (Richard Jenkins, ever affecting and insightful). Disillusioned by his scummy New York apartment and lonely, unfulfilling job, Jesse jumps at the chance to revisit his more enjoyable college days.

At first, it feels as though he has never left. His rapport

Gus Van Sant's "Promised Land" @34st.com 214 South 45th Street Philadelphia, PA 19104 215.662.1663

Ted Mosby hits on Mary–Kate and Ashley's lil' sis with Hoberg hasn’t changed, her even more attractive. Her and the campus is as inviting mix of maturity and youthful as he remembered. excitability convinces the two Apparently, so are the stu- that they make a good match, dents. He meets the amus- despite the age gap. However, ing Nat (Zac Efron), a hippie when Jesse is confronted by with a fuzzy knit hat and Zen Zibby’s vulnerability and sexworldview who invites Jesse ual inexperience, he realizes along to a party. Nat is just that maybe he has outgrown one of a host of figures who college, after all. manages to suggest both a “Liberal Arts” is a small, broad college stereotype and deeply felt film that reminds us an incisively–written individu- of the shifting lens of personal al. Another is Judith Fairfield experience through which we (Allison Janney), a British Ro- view art, the people we meet mantics professor who seduces and the events of our lives. As Jesse and then pitilessly tosses Jesse mentions to Zibby, “I him out of her bed. feel different now than I felt But the film — and Jesse when I was here — and I hate — belongs to Zibby, a lusty to break this to you, but so college sophomore played by will you.” The film may well Elizabeth Olsen. With her encourage you to take a look gorgeous cheekbones and at your own perspective on dewy skin, it isn’t hard to see the college experience — and what draws Jesse to Zibby. how it constantly grows and And beneath her striking fea- evolves. tures is a precociousness and zest for learning that make

BREED

A look at today’s Hollywood costar couples and the films that made them fall in love

By BEN LERNER

Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds These newlyweds met on the set of the disastrous “Green Lantern,” but awful reviews couldn’t keep this insanely sexy couple from falling head over heels for each other.

RyRy’s divorce from Scarlett Johannson was finalized just last year, but by September 9, he skipped the engagement and secretly tied the knot with the “Gossip Girl” beauty 10 years his junior. We’ll see if they last longer than Reynolds’ last marriage — just don’t make a sequel!

Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck This couple first met on the set of “Pearl Harbor” but didn’t date until they made 2003’s “Daredevil” together. Both bad movies, but Ben and Jen are a Hollywood golden couple. They’ve been happily married since 2005, which is long enough that some people have forgotten Ben’s engagement to the other Jennifer (Lopez, with whom he made the awful “Gigli”).

The Afflecks have three gorgeous kids: Seraphina, Samuel and fashion icon Violet.

Another hot couple: You + Street. Come to our writers meeting!

6:30, 4015 Walnut

EXCEPTION: Good Movie, Good Couple Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield “The Amazing Spider–Man” was a commercial and critical success this summer, with the highest box office gross behind other superhero films “The Avengers” and “The Dark Knight Rises.”

While Tobey and Kirsten’s series feels not too long ago, Andrew and Emma’s onscreen chemistry made up for the superfluity of the film. Off–screen, the trendy New York couple was recently spotted holding up pieces of cardboard to block their faces from the paparazzi — with charity organizations Sharpied on them. Sigh.

EXCEPTION: Bad Movie, Bad Couple Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson These two are an exception to the trend, and in all the wrong ways. The five “Twilight” films have birthed this loathsome couple. Onscreen vampire drama and indecision translates to infidelity for the lip–biting Stewart, who cheated on Pattinson with the (not even attractive) director of “Snow White and the Huntsman.” Whether or not they’re back together at this moment, shame on you, K–Stew.

Her personal life may be a wreck, but we can still give thanks for some of the fantastic films that Kristen Stewart has lent her dramatic talents to. Here are some of Street’s faves.

By SAMANTHA APFEL

1. “Adventureland” This hilarious and touching dramedy features a host of supporting breakouts, but none are as affecting as Stewart’s Em, who draws protagonist James (Jesse Eisenberg) into her confusing web of heartbreak and self–hatred. Stewart’s various lip–biting and hair–pulling tics actually work here, helping to create a character as damaged as she is mysterious and alluring.

2. “The Runaways” It’s Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett!

She may not have been an obvious pick for the role, but Stewart fully inhabits Jett’s disaffected yet passionate, guitar–wielding rocker chick. Her chemistry with Dakota Fanning, who plays Cherie Currie, carries the film; it’s as electric as The Runaways’ music, reproduced faithfully by the actors.

3. “Into the Wild” The small size of Stewart’s role keeps this film from securing a higher spot on our list. But her few scenes are a joy to watch, as Stewart masterfully encapsulates a restless, unhappy teen attracted to Emile Hirsch’s wandering traveller. Plus, more singing! Her part in this film convinced Catherine Hardwick to cast Stewart in “Twilight,” thus ensuring the significance of “Wild” in the Kristen Stewart canon.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth We’ll call them a “good couple” because they seem to really like each other and have lasted a while, considering their adolescence.

And Liam stuck by Miley’s side during her Draco Malfoy haircut fiasco. Hannah Montana met her hunky Aussie fiancé on the set of “The Last Song,” a catastrophically sappy Nicholas Sparks adaptation. We don’t approve of their youthful engagement or believe in its permanence, but we get it, Miley: anyone would volunteer as tribute for Gale.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt For being Hollywood royalty, Brangelina were brought together by a film that was pretty blah. Most people saw 2005’s action rom–com “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” to see the movie that split up Brad and Jennifer Aniston. You would’ve hoped the flick that caused the breakup of the century would’ve been “Fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes.

At least “Wanderlust,” the comedy that brought Jen her new fiancé Justin Theroux, was actually funny.

KRISTEN STEWART’S TOP FILM MOMENTS

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WHEN

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highbrow ego film feature food & drink music arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012 8

I arrive at 4:30pm, when the Vetri staff — both the front of the house and the back — gather for what is called the family meal: a big vat of pasta, perhaps, some vegetables, a protein, some bread. Tonight, it’s pasta with tomatoes, parmesan and tripe; spinach salad; homemade hummus; and raw vegetables sliced into perfect batons. Bread — bread with a salty cap of crust so black it looks outlined in sparkly Sharpie — is set alongside.

They give me plates and tell me to help myself, and they push

5:02PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE AGING BEEF The lights are bright out there in the dining room, but they are brighter here in the kitchen. The four chefs on the line, the ones who work the pasta station, the meat station, the fish station and the cold food and dessert station, all work in a small alley in between their respective gadgets — the flattop, the stove, and the oven — and a long island in the middle of the narrow kitchen. They are dressed identically: clogs, baggy chef pants, white chef coats and bright orange aprons.

They smile, waving to me from their posts.

Adam Leonti, the chef de cuisine, shows me my spot for the night: right next to him, the

expeditor, at the front of the kitchen. He is tall, with bright eyes and a full beard, a Maine native who, like much of the staff, started off at the more casual Marc Vetri restaurant Osteria. He hauls a side of aged beef to his station, peeling away the snowy–white fat, talking to me of his breaks (few), of dinner prep (hard), of his workday (long). When I look back down at the cutting board, the cow is neatly portioned into smooth, marbled steaks. I hadn’t even noticed he was moving.

5:17PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE BACON I follow Adam out into the dining room. The front–of– house staff is dressed for service, the men in suits or vests, the women in dark grey dresses. Jazz plays softly in the background; they all drink espresso.

It’s the dinner party of my dreams, where people talk of paccheri from Gragnano and candied lime zest and the crates of wine they just received.

“Pique their interest,” they say, when they talk of explaining the wine list to guests. “Make them laugh.”

Adam goes through the menu changes for the night, and reiterates standard protocol: 1) “Don’t be lazy.” 2) “Keep conversation professional out here — we can talk dirty in the kitchen.” 3) “Don’t cut anyone off if they have a pile of plates.” He pauses. “But never, ever cut off a guest…this is the Vetri brothel, as you know.”

6:02PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE SAUSAGE “Salumi for two!” calls out Meredith, a server, flying into the kitchen to grab two glasses of Prosecco.

“Salumi for two!” booms Adam.

“Salumi for two!” echoes Christina, the sole woman chef, from the back of the line.

Adam cuts two slices of each homemade salumi. They glisten.

Then, the torta d’erbe: a dense, cheesy bread of sorts, filled with cooked vegetables. Two toasts with foie gras pastrami appear from the back, along with a bowl filled with vegetables so fresh they look electric. Adam plates four cubes of apples and sprinkles them with parmesan. The spread is ready; it’s been a minute. Meredith picks it up.

Adam takes a pig–shaped cutting board and makes me a salumi for one. I eat it with my fingers.

6:34PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE MARROW Adam stands at the front of the kitchen, the tickets — sheets of paper written out by the servers — lined up in front of him. He explains that when tables are seated at the same time, he fires their tickets — or calls out their orders — together.

Justino, the chef at the pasta station, opens a metal drawer next to the vat of boiling water. It is filled with pasta: perfect tiny envelopes, bundles of strands with crimped edges, little sacks that look like sucking candy. He puts a fist-

ful of butter into a sauté pan and adds a few tortellini, tossing the pasta into the air with a flick of his wrist. I stare. He takes a spoon and tastes it, adds a ladle of pasta water, some salt.

The hot plates of food get lined up one side of the front entryway; the cold plates on another. Adam goes through and takes bites with his fingers and with spoons, drizzling plates with Sicilian olive oil. When they’re ready, he calls out to the dining room, cocking his head to be heard through the door. The servers arrive; the plates, whisked away.

A dish appears before me: tiny, yellow shapes in a scalloped porcelain bowl. Then, a fork. “For you,” Adam says, and Josh, the young, cheerful bartender, pours me the paired wine.

The pasta is with saffron, bone marrow, orange zest and fennel.

It is bright, floral and fatty.

7:27PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE ROSEMARY The kitchen is humming, rumbling: a carwash, as Adam puts it. Everyone — the chefs, the dishwashers, the bartender — is hunched over, concentrating, working their tiny piece of real estate like they’d play a piano or a guitar.

Kristina wields a charred rib– eye like a tennis racket, grasping the bone with her hand.

She places it on a mirrored plate and wreathes it in rosemary, then walks it up to the front of the kitchen. Bill, one of the servers, brings it out to show

the guest: more a crown jewel than a piece of meat. A minute later, it is brought back into the kitchen to be carved and sliced, placed over a simple sunchoke puree and topped with mushrooms and a dark, earthy sauce.

The back door bangs open, and a man with a beard and eggplant–colored pants walks in.

He is smiling. It is Marc Vetri.

9:03PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE BROWN BUTTER “You need me?” Vetri asks Justino.

“We always need you, chef.”

He points to me. “Brette, write that down.” He puts a hunk of butter on the stove and gets to work.

9:42PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE SAFFRON Jeff Benjamin, Vetri’s busness partner, is now watching over the kitchen, leaning back against the plating station. He is in a pinstripe suit; his shoes are shiny. Vetri, a foot taller, stands next to him.

Adam brings over a bowl of pasta so vibrantly yellow it looks almost fake. Vetri leans over, takes a bite. His eyes close, then open. “This,” he says, “is amazing.”

11:08PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE SUGAR Someone wants a chocolate martini.

“A chocolate martini?” Josh asks.

“A chocolate martini.”

“This isn’t Old City,” says Adam. “If it sucks, don’t give it to them.”

Vetri strides into the kitchen from the dining room. “Oh what a night,” he sings, and he rubs everyone’s necks. The low hiss of floured fish in a hot pan fills the room as Adam fires another order.

12:22AM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE DISINFECTANT The kitchen, as it turns out, is another world.

It is a world of bright lights, of loud noises. It is a world where standing for 10 hours straight is the easiest thing in the world, and where butter and olive oil flow like rivers. It is a world where sticking your hand in someone’s food and your nose in someone’s glass is not just normal, but necessary.

It’s a world of food’s hard realities: the snowy–white fat cap on the top of a prosciutto, the crusty edges of a pot of polenta, the murky consequence of vodka and chocolate shaken together.

There are stains and there are crumbs and there are spots all over, but it smells good and there’s laughter and starchy pasta water to hold it together.

It’s a world where big, broad, confident movements can produce the most delicate of plates, a world where artwork leaves and doesn’t return.

Brette Warshaw is a senior from Westport, CT. She is studying European History.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

4:30PM: KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE BREAD

me towards the front of the line.

When one server sees me hesitate, she whispers, “Eat up. It’s gunna be a long night.”

So I do. I take bread and pasta and hummus and those vegetables, and I join the front–of– house staff for a meeting in the dining room. (The chefs, they tell me, eat standing up.) They sit in their T–shirts and their sweatshirts and their jeans and they chat like the friends that they are, the friends who see each other every day, at this very hour, six days a week. It all feels so Italian, the way they scoop up their sauce with their bread and the way they talk about wine and the way they throw their heads back and laugh with each other, at each other.

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F

ine dining is a little like yoga, or meditation, or floating on your back in the middle of a Jacuzzi: the world gets really small when you do it.

At Vetri, on 1312 Spruce St., it’s a world of glass from Murano, of wooden tables and floors.

It’s a world of dimmed lights; it’s a world of Prosecco. Dinner there, for the yogis and the meditators and the Jacuzzi–floaters, is a two–and–a–half hour affair: they see a hand–painted menu and are asked their culinary preferences, and they get served a $155 tasting menu of the chef de cuisine’s choice.

But I did not come for this. I came for the other world, behind the Murano glass. The world of pots and pans and shouting, of glistening fat and sinewy muscle.

The world of cursing and ass– slapping and unhinged laughter: the back of the house.

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FOOD&DRINK

On October 3rd...

He asked us what day it was.

For October 4th, we did this.

We guess it’s normal to cry on your child’s first day of school. It’s also normal to cry tears of joy when you realize that your favorite movie/life coach “Mean Girls” is a food movie. If you’re thinking, “No way, why didn't I know this?” worry not — even if you used to be home–schooled, you can totally sit with us.

Boo you whore, F&D

NOT LIKE A REGULAR RESTAURANT

Trade in those white gold hoops for a night out at one of these swanky restaurants for Parents Weekend.

BY KIMBERLY SCHREIBER

Morimoto Ditch that British slang for this Japanese gem: “omakase." A Japanese tasting experience, the omakase at Morimoto will take you through the chef’s brilliant meditation on fine Japanese dining, and for at least $80, you might as well throw in the sake pairing as well.

Vetri Hailed by Mario Batali as the best Italian on the East Coast, Vetri’s irresistible fare and four– course tasting menu may send you to Sears for your next formal dress, but trust us, the chocolate polenta soufflé is worth it. (Take a peek inside their kitchen in Street's cover story this week.)

Le Bec Fin A Philadelphia institution and one of the few standing pillars of haute French cuisine, Le Bec Fin recently had major renovations to make its old–school ambiance appeal to a younger crowd. Who are we to resist this marketing ploy? No army pants or flip–flops allowed.

Lacroix The most extravagant brunch in town, this beats the new meal they’re calling “brunch” at Houston Hall. At $65 per person, it features a raw buffet and a house–cured charcuterie station.

Don’t miss the “build your own bloody Mary bar," — happy hour isn’t just from four to six.

THROW THE FETCHEST PARTY EVER We’re making fetch a thing. Sorry, Regina.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

BY HANNA KERESZTURI

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INVITE

…your friends with fliers. The flier admits one, so don’t bring a date.

DRESS

…as one of your favorite high school stereotypes. Bring out your secret inner nerd, art freak, sexually active band geek, or plastic.

EAT

…carbs. Donuts, cheese fries, candy bars and toaster strudel (for Gretchen Wieners). Have enough cheese and crackers for eight people.

DRINK

…cranberry juice cocktails. Regina drinks it to lose weight, you drink it to lose consciousness.

LISTEN TO

…the Billboard top 100…from 2003. Get down like a truly hormonal/sexually–frustrated teenager to your favorite anthems from a decade ago; play the likes of 50 Cent’s "In Da Club," Sean Paul’s "Get Busy" and Chingy’s "Right Thurr".

DECORATE WITH GIVE OUT

…your very own Burn Book. Put up pictures of your guests and have people write nice/hilarious/not–so–nice comments.

PLAY

…condoms. But don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. …your very own Mean Girls drinking game:

Take a drink when: • Something is settled in girl world.

• They allude to Janice being a lesbian.

• Cady narrates her problems.

• Ms. Norbury gives advice.

• You see bra.

• There’s vomit (word or actual).

Finish your drink when: • Glen Coco appears. You go Glen Coco!

• Swim team practice is held in the projection room above the auditorium.

• Cady and Aaron kiss.

• Amy Poehler is not like a regular mom.

• The limit does not exist.

YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US

Just moved here from Africa? The center of Philadelphia’s Ethiopian, Senegalese, Malian and many other African communities, West Philly boasts a plethora of African restaurants that will have you feeling right at home.

Rules are meant to be broken… well, some of them.

Don’t expect to eat lunch with us if you: • Order food well done. This is not how it’s meant to taste.

• Miss ABP. • Ate Subway at the Baltimore Dollar Stroll.

• Call Sweetgreen a big meal.

• Don’t tip.

BY JACK LAVIOLETTE

Restaurant: Le Baobob Location: 5353 Woodland Ave. Dish: Gigot, $12 It’s a bit of a trek, but well worth it for this West African joint, which dishes up traditional food from Burkina Faso, Mali and Côte D’Ivoire. For lamb fans, don’t miss the gigot, a tender lamb shank served with a savory onion sauce. So fetch!

Restaurant: Kaffa Crossing Location: 4423 Chestnut St. Dish: Quanta FirFir, $9 A hybrid funky–as–hell coffee shop and Ethiopian restaurant, Kaffa Crossing is a destination not just for Ethiopian cuisine aficionados but fair trade coffee lovers, vegans, cool moms and local art fans alike.

Restaurant: Queen of Sheba Location: 4511 Baltimore Ave. Dish: Vegetable Alicha, $9 Located on Baltimore Avenue, Queen of Sheba is a fun little dive bar and Ethiopian restaurant. Vegetarians should check out the veggie Alicha–Injera bread served with pottages, carrots, lentils and potatoes. The karaoke on Thursdays is definitely not social suicide.

Restaurant: Kilimandjaro Location: 4317 Chestnut St. Dish: Yassa Fish, $13 One trip to Kilimandjaro, a West Philly favorite, is enough to make anyone a lifelong Senegalese food fan. The Yassa Fish is out of this world — a whole fish, crispy on the outside, perfectly tender inside, with a bangin’ lemon, pepper, garlic, carrot and onion sauce.

See our full review of Kilimandjaro @34st.com

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AFRICAN FOOD IN WEST PHILLY

IS BUTTER A CARB? No. It's a lipid.

Whatever, we're getting cheese fries.

THEY JUST BURN ALL YOUR CARBS: TASTING GRANOLA BARS Kalteen Bars do not exist. We’re sorry.

BY ALLIE BIENENSTOCK

Lemon Coconut Simply Bar

Chocolate Almond Fudge Clif Bar

S’mores Luna Bar

Cookies ‘N’ Cream Clif Builder’s Bar

The organic, plant– based ProBar was by far the worst. One taster spit it out. It tastes like “grass” and “soil” and we’re not fans of foods that taste of Earth. If this bar were a student at Northshore High, Gretchen Wieners would yell, “You can’t sit with us!” at her.

Lemon–Coconut?

Sounds exotic, but not in this wrapper: the flavor was pretty bland. One taster said the flavor was like “you had bad Sprite and someone took a shit in it.”

This “chocolatey.” bar was polarizing: some appreciated the smoothness, while others wanted more crunch.

Don’t be fooled because it may seem like your typical chocolate– and–graham–cracker, crunchy orgasm–inducing protein bar, but in reality, it’s so much more than that. All natural and female– nutrient friendly, we all agreed it was delicious.

This was the Aaron Samuels of protein bars. Made with no artificial sweeteners or trans fats, it is everything we look for in a bar: maintaining a perfect balance of crunchiness and smoothness, it “tastes like dessert. Definitely worth going up a weight class.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

Cady Heron demolished Regina George’s “technically hot physique” by feeding her Kalteen bars, a protein bar her mom gave to starving African children to help them gain weight. The labels are not in Swedish, but there are tons of weird nutrition bars around campus to make up for the heart– wrenching loss.

Cocoa Pistachio ProBar

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MUSIC

A CALL TO ARMS Two Philly bands' mission to play house parties and build couch forts

BY BEN BERNSTEIN

Brendan Mulvihill and Andy Molholt, two players in the Philadelphia music scene, spent last weekend living in and performing at Pilam. The two of them, who perform as the band Norwegian Arms, are currently in the middle of a house residency tour of Philadelphia, in which they couchsurf from house to house, all the while playing music, sittting on porches and getting to Norwegian Arms operate their instruments with American hands know their temporary hosts.

Mulvihill and Molholt met things — even just spending and decided to make it more at age 13 while growing up in time alone in a place so cold literal by actually residing in Lansdale, a suburb of Philadel- and remote — that prompted these places and then playing a phia, where they were part of various emotional responses, show,” he recalls. The two conthe same theater group. After and the album really captures tinued to refine the idea over graduating, they both joined a what was going on in my head the following months, adding band. Mulvihill recalls the dif- at the time," he recalls. the requirement that a song ficulties of their first tour: “It Though Molholt took a be written at each venue. They was the only physical conflict break from the Philly area to picked four houses in various we ever had. neighborhoods On our way to “We want to push ourselves to take that they felt a Pittsburgh we particular affinhit a deer and in these creative spaces and see ity for, including had to come what we come up with.”

The Ox in Olde back to rent a Kensington, their new van. Andy was pissed off study at Columbia College in old neighborhood. and 19 so we got into, for lack Chicago, he returned home Molholt hopes that the tour of a better term, a tussle.” That in 2007 with his roommate, will infuse the bands with a crerough patch aside, the two have Michael Chadwick, to found ative energy that comes from stayed close over the years — the band The Armchairs. After experiencing novel environtheir banter flows with an ease playing together for four years ments. “We’re trying to meet that reveals their longstanding and gaining popularity in the some people, have some new friendship.

Philadelphia music scene, how- experiences. When you change Mulvihill attended college in ever, the band broke up, citing your perspective or location, Philadelphia and founded his differing goals and creative di- your creative output is inherband Norwegian Arms in 2009 rections. In the wake of The ently changed. We want to with Eric Slick (also the drum- Armchairs’ breakup, Molholt push ourselves to take in these mer for Dr. Dog). The band decided to strike out on his creative spaces and see what we has had “various additions and own with Laser Background, a come up with,” he says. remissions,” but at the core re- solo project that got started last Regardless of what the exmains a self–described "mini- June. Molholt plays with vari- perience produces, Mulvihill malist weirdo-folk duo." Thus ous friends when he's onstage and Molholt are enjoying it far they have released a couple but writes the songs and instru- so far. For them, being in resiof EPs and they plan to release mentation himself. dence means late nights drinktheir first album, "Wolf Like Over the past month, Nor- ing with new friends, building a Stray Dog," in December. wegian Arms and Laser Back- couch forts and testing out new Mulvihill wrote the songs for ground have been on a House material. They hope to release the album while teaching Eng- Show Residency Tour. Molholt a split EP with material written lish on a Fulbright scholarship had the idea a few months ago in the various venues, but in in Tomsk, a city in the middle while thinking about bands that the meantime they are happy of Siberia. “It was an amazing take up a residency at a particu- to just see where the tour takes experience, really intense at lar venue. “I was just spoofing them. We're guessing it's gotimes. There were a lot of weird and riffing on the whole idea, ing to be to another house.

BOOKIN' IT Street talks to Brendan Bercik, head of Yarga Productions, about what goes into filling Pilam's concert calendar

BY ARIELA OSUNA

Pilam, the site of Human BBQ, Penn's most tasteful co–ed cannibal convention

Street: What’s your biggest event of the year?

Brendan Bercik: Human BBQ is our biggest show.

It’s always the first Saturday in April. We like to have it be the weekend before Fling. It’s rumored that they created Spring Fling in response to BBQ because it used to be a very big event out on Hill Field.

We don’t try to compete or anything. It’s just timing.

[BBQ] is usually like 15–20 bands and it’s all day. With the price of admission you get barbecue.

Street: How do most people find out about your DIY shows?

BB: You get a lot of non– students who come through because they find out about the show on the internet.

Our biggest resource at the moment is a thing called DIYPHL.com. It’s a really good community for people who are interested in largely free or cheap shows with bands that are their friends.

We put all our shows on there — registered or not — because that’s where our community is based. And when it’s registered we try to get it out to Penn students through posters and flyers.

Street: What are some of the best bands you’ve had in the past?

BB: It’s kind of crazy be-

cause the shows started in the 80s or early 90s.

We’ve had a lot of legendary names come through the house long before I was ever a part of it. Mostly bands that played in the 90s, like Fugazi, Man or Astro–Man? and Of Montreal. More recently, one of the bigger names we’ve had is The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. At Human BBQ, we had A Place to Bury Strangers.

Street: Does it become an issue to keep up with alcohol policies for registered events?

BB: We have alcohol monitors who come and make sure that people aren’t drinking or bringing their own or causing a ruckus.

It’s really not. By and large, it’s a real chill kind of thing. Especially with the pop–punk kind of scene, a lot of people aren’t even into that. They don’t need to be wasted drunk because it’s such a high energy, really cool, youthful kind of music. I noticed on Friday [when Norwegian Arms played] the music was so heartfelt and real that it brings you back to something in your core, in your heart, that you really can’t help but be totally elated and overjoyed.

Check out the full interview online at 34st.com

BEHIND THE ARTIST’S STUDIO Philadelphia Open Studio Tours gives viewers an intimate look into the workspaces of currently–practicing artists. Check out these venues for a rare out–of–gallery experience. BY GINA DECAGNA

1. Chemical Heritage Foundation 315 Chestnut St. First Friday Hours: 5 – 8 p.m.

Jennifer Williams

"Swim" by Jennifer Williams

Watercolors and paper sculptures by two artists take center stage at this Old City hub.

"Skinny City" by Maggie Mills

Green Line Café 4239 Baltimore Ave. Not down to trek over to a bunch of studios? Check out Green Line Café, where you can grab some coffee, sit down and peruse a book next to the garden and look at various contemporary Philadelphian artworks exhibited right inside. The only thing better than free art is free art and caffeine.

CENTER CITY WEST Kimberly Witham

4. Sidewalk Market Elfreth’s Alley, 2nd St. between Arch and Race 5 – 9 p.m.

It’s getting colder out there, but what better way to enjoy a crisp fall night than stocking up on some seasonally–appropriate vintage finds?

Enjoy some complimentary refreshments and conversation with artist Nancy E.F. Halbert at the opening of her beautifully whimsical show, "Endure."

"Still Life with Two Squirrels" by Kimberly Witham

Susan Kolber

Check out 34st.com for an interview with architecture major and photographer, Susan Kolber.

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

5. Muse Gallery 52 N. 2nd St. 5 – 8:30 p.m.

Ted Mosher Octo Studio Building, 2202 Alter St. Cezanne may have been the first to systematize landscape into simple geometries and colors, but Moscher takes abstraction to a new level. He constructs landscapes that resemble entirely different objects. Don’t miss this unique twist on genre painting, and let us know if you saw the magical ponies in the paintings too…

3. First Friday Speakeasy Wine School of Philadelphia 127 S. 22nd St. Doors Open 6:30 p.m.

Substitute whining about classes for classes about wine.

Green Line Cafe

Center for Emerging Visual Arts, 237 S. 18th St.,The Barclay, 3rd floor Remember that time you ran over a squirrel and kept driving? Through her carefully composed photographs, Witham captures provocatively witty and whimsical arrangements of domestic objects with the fuzzy little creatures that suburbia so often kills. The photograph of a dead mouse lying next to pristinely white china will bring tears to your eyes, reminding you of the fact that you are indeed a heartless murderer. We’re calling PETA.

On view right now is the intriguing “Alchemical Quest” exhibit, which investigates the origins of chemistry and science.

2. Gallery Joe 302 Arch St. First Friday Hours: 6 - 8 p.m.

Maggie Mills 506 S. 45th St. Attention Freudian freaks! Lose yourself in a Dali–inspired trance as you stare into the dreamy juxtapositions of Mills’s work. She plays with realistic figures but depicts them against simplified, sometimes graphic, backgrounds. Each painting tells the story of an individual lost in a subconscious world.

October’s your second chance to take a needle to the proverbial Penn bubble and explore what the Philly art scene has to offer.

BY BRIDGET MCGEEHAN

WEST PHILADELPHIA University City Arts League, 4226 Spruce St. Have your mind blown by massive photographic collage installations, where photography meets sculpture. Speaking to the grimiest elements of urban environments, Williams shows audiences how a pile of dirty garbage can be arranged into a beautifully escalating masterpiece.

Thank God it’s Friday

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ARTS

"Take a Look at These Hands II" by Ted Mosher 13

highbrow ego film feature food & drink music arts lowbrow

LOWBROW

d ith this fun an Have a blast w

family part. e! Minus the ag p ty vi ti ac family–friendly

CONNECT THE DOTS Connect the dots and discover the hidden picture!

Hint: it’s a painting by a famous artist!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE These images may look the same at first, but take a closer look! There are 31 differences. Can you find them all?

Answer Key: There are 31 penises in one image, and none in the other.

Answer: “Untitled” by Jackson Pollock

WORD SCRAMBLE These letters are all outa order! Can you unscramble them? Give it a try!

AGAVINA KCOK

SUTL PSTIUTROSE

BCHTI AHSOLSE

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

Answer Key: navigate, duck, salt, psoriosis, bits, ashen

14

MAZE Can you brave the maze and get to the finish line?

Answer:

highbrow ego film feature food & drink music arts lowbrow

COLORING PAGES Get artistic with these delightful images!

THE FOLLOWING SECTION IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

34th Street Bar Guide

CHERRYSTREET

129 N. 22nd Street • 215-561-5683 — We’re located a block from the Schuylkill River Trail and known for our great community atmosphere. Come by for great food, great drinks, and a great time!

SUNDAY, 9/16: Rock & Roll Half Marathon Food and Beverage specials all day!

MONDAY, 9/17: Cherry Street Tavern vs. Philly Bruins: $3 Philly Bruin Pints all night. Kenzinger, Pennsylvania Pale Ale, Commonwealth

The Starlight Ballroom — 452-472 N. 9th Street • 215-908-2063 • starlight-ballroom.com Venue available to book parties!

FREE PIZZA NIGHTS every Wednesday night from 9pm-2am. Industrial/house music night

Club Pulse — 1526 Sansom Street • 215-751-2711 • pulsephilly.com THURSDAY — COLLEGE NIGHT AT PULSE! 10:00 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. • Live Band and DJ all Night!

• Drink Specials $2 Beer, $3 Mix Drink

Dock Street Brewery & Restaurant

NO COVER CHARGE — TUE, THU, FRI, SAT AND SUN

Lucky Wednesdays: 18 to Party & 21 to Drink Top DJs will spin the night away!

11 pm to 3:30 am

701 S. 50th Street • 215-726-2337 • www.dockstreetbeer.com Founded in 1985, Dock Street is the 1st microbrewery in Philadelphia and one of the 1st in the country. Dock Street Brewery is located in a majestic, old firehouse. We’re known for our delicious, artisanal beers brewed on premise along with awardwinning wood fired gourmet pizzas, sandwiches, salads, vegan and vegetarian specialties. Movie night every Tuesday at 8pm!

34TH STREET Magazine October 4, 2012

tAVERN

A guide to bars and nightclubs on or near Penn’s campus

Copabanana — 40th & Spruce • 215-382-1330 • copabanana.com/uni.php

Copabanana is THE place to go for margaritas! Half price margaritas Mondays from noon to midnight. Happy Hour Mondays to Fridays from 5-7pm. Open late seven days a week! Philly’s award winning DJ Karaoke Joe is now at the Copabanana 40th and Spruce from 9:30 on Thursdays !

STARTING OCTOBER 7th — Sunday brunch!

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2nd

Just off the York–Dauphin stop of the Blue Line is a warehouse wonderland of secondhand sartorial surprises.

Check out our finds.

BULK VINTAGE WAREHOUSE 2438 Coral St. (215) 923–9009