10.18.2017

October 18, 2017 34st.com

HOW STUDENTS WITH CRIMINAL RECORDS GET INTO PENN

october 18

LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR

2017

LOL

3 HIGHBROW

overheards, ten phases of the penn plague

4 WORD ON THE STREET

being a photographer at your date night

5 MUSIC

war on drugs

6 EGO

eotw, civic house

8 VICE & VIRTUE

we are all allegro, what's wrong with your supreme shirt

LOL

LOL

LOL

Technology is amazing. Case in point: my cousin and his wife in Florida had a baby just a little under a year ago. Almost every day, they update a Photo Stream on iCloud with new baby pictures. And I could not be more serious when I say that it is, hands down, the best part of my day.

It's the same as my mom sending me pictures of my dog (which she does often—thank you, mom). It's a small thing, but it absolutely turns my day around. There's something unbelievably warming and reassuring about baby and dog pictures. Of course, they're adorable (ask me anytime to see the photos of my baby cousin in the pool, or for that matter, my dog in

prison to penn

VOTE NOW FOR STREET'S 2017 SENIOR SUPERLATIVES: 34ST.COM.

13 FILM & TV

happy death day, bladeruner 2049

15 ARTS

Street book club: immortality, palm reading

Venmo charges, frat events

Orly Greenberg, Editor–in–Chief Dani Blum, Managing Editor Chloe Shakin, Audience Engagement Director Teagan Aguirre, Design Director Carissa Zou, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director

Nick Castoria, Highrow Beat Paul Litwin, Music Beat Amy Marcus, Music Beat Aliya Chaudhry, Music Beat Noah Kest, Music Beat Michelle Pereira, Music Beat Jess Sandoval, Music Beat Shoshana Sternstein, Lowbrow Beat Dano Major, Lowbrow Beat Lily Zirlin, Lowbrow Beat Cami Potter, Lowbrow Beat Noa Baker, Vice & Virtue Beat Lily Snider, Vice & Virtue Beat Morgan Potts, Vice & Virtue Beat Julia Messick, Vice & Virtue Beat Jillian Karande, Vice & Virtue Beat Molly Hessel, Vice & Virtue Beat Gina Alm, Arts Beat Sherry Tseng, Arts Beat Linda Lin, Arts Beat Michaela Tinkey, Arts Beat

Nick Joyner, Features Editor Julia Bell, Features Editor Angela Huang, Word on the Street Editor Dalton DeStefano, Film & TV Editor Annabelle Williams, Highbrow Editor Haley Weiss, Ego Editor Andreas Pavlou, Vice & Virtue Editor Talia Sterman, Music Editor Colin Lodewick, Arts Editor Claire Schmidt, Lowbrow Editor Catalina Dragoi, Film & TV Beat Michaela Reitano, Film & TV Beat Sabrina Qiao, Ego Beat Maria Riillo, Ego Beat Natalia Sanchez-Nigolian, Ego Beat Lucia Kim, Highbrow Beat Daniel Bulpitt, Highbrow Beat Angela Lin, Highrow Beat 2

sisters or dad.

Whatever they are, I need the small things to take me out of my little, stressful Penn world and get out of my head. And if you could use the same, let me know. I've got about a million dog pictures that might help.

YOU WANNA BE ON TOP????

10 FEATURE

18 LOWBROW LOL

the pool—I'll gladly offer up a dozen of both).

But besides being obscenely cute, these tiny glimpses into life outside of Penn actually ground my day. It's so easy to get caught up in what I'm doing at Penn, and the small things start to feel a little too big.

I really think being at Penn means striking a balance and finding little things that make you happy. For me, it's getting surprise baby photos in a little notification at the top of my computer screen, or a sweet text of my dog curled up outside my room at home. Sometimes it's just sitting with my friends in our living room, and other times it's a phone call with my

Staff Writers: EIsabelle Fertel, Caroline Curran, Kiana Cruz, Clare Kearns, McKay Norton, Chen Chen Zhang, Brookie McIlvaine, Steph Barron, Lauren

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Donato, Frankie Reitmeyer, Jamie Gobreski, Brittany Levy, Jessica Li, Maria Formoso Zack Greenstein, Design Editor Christina Piasecki, Design Editor Katherine Waltman, Design Editor Gloria Yuen, Illustrator Anne Marie Grudem, Illustrator Avalon Morell, Photo Editor Autumn Powell, Photo Editor Megan Kyne, Photo Editor Christina Piasecki, Photo Editor Emily Hason, Video Director Daniel Rubin, Video Editor Megan Kyne, Video Editor Lea Eisenstein, Copy Director Sophia Griffith-Gorgati, Copy Editor Nancy Liu, Copy Editor Kimberly Batista, Copy Editor Colleen Campbell, Copy Editor Kolade Lawal, Copy Editor Cole Bauer, Social Media Editor Paige Fishman, Social Media Editor

Hanniel Dizon, Social Media Editor Carly Shoulberg, Social Media Editor Julia Klayman, Social Media Editor Merry Gu, Social Media Editor Chae Hahn, Social Media Editor Sarah Poss, Social Media Editor Lily Haber, Social Media Editor Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Autumn Powell, Megan Kyne, Christina Piasecki, and Brinda Ramesh.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Orly Greenberg, Editor–in–Chief, at greenberg@dailypennsylvanian.com. You can also call us at (215) 422-4640. www.34st.com "It's the ass of Street."

"I thought that was me!" ©2017 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Wednesday.

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HIGHBROW

PHASES OF THE

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PENN PLAGUE

THE FIRST COUGH

It started out with a cough, how did it end up like this?

Healthy people cough all of the time. Nothing to see here.

You think, The air is a little dry today. The newscaster said something about the pollen levels, didn’t they? You don’t even want to think about the s–word. You pop a cough drop and think, This is fine. Everything's fine.

2

DENY, DENY, DENY

Someone needs to come forward. Will the real Sick Shady please stand up?

AM I DYING?

This is it. You have reached the peak of sickness. The chills and sweats are a delightfully debilitating combination. Your wheezy coughs make you feel as though you need to be hooked up to an iron lung.

You’ve blown out your hopes and dreams through your sad, abused nose into an equally sad and abused Kleenex. The pain you feel as you swallow makes you say, “I didn’t really like eating or drinking anyway.” The only thing getting you through is the sweet, dark embrace of sleep.

dear mother to periodically call, text, FaceTime, telegram, and carrier–pigeon you asking if you've been to SHS, if the soup in the dining hall is as good as hers, and if you’ve checked for any color in your soggy tissues (you have and it’s downright obscene).

GOOGLE SEARCH: DO ALCOHOL, MUCINEX, NASAL SPRAY, AND NYQUIL MIX?

Being sick has come between you and a lot of things, like comfort and the will to live, but one thing it will not come in between is you and tequila shots. You painstakingly read WALK OF SHAME...TO STUDENT HEALTH the labels on the pile of pills, syrups, and sprays that has Is it a bad cold? The flu? Ton- been holding your failing body sillitis? Strep? And goddamnit, together for alcohol restricwhat if it’s mono? You thought tions, and check WebMD you left mono epidemics articles about cold medicine behind in high school, and overdose as a precaution. You maybe you did, because at this give yourself a C– health grade point there's no way to discern rating and a free pass for the why your body is collapsing. night. The sweaty, strobe–lit Well, maybe one way: the dance floors and 2 a.m. Allegro Student Health Service center. missed you, and you missed You sit in the office, coughing them too. so much that you’re asked to wear a face mask, and the best HEALTHY? NEVER thing you come home with is a HEARD OF HER. care package with an anal therWeeks have passed and your mometer and honey packets. sickness has subsided, but For which you paid $20. you aren’t a glimmering pillar of health by any means. No, CALL ME CONTAGION you’ve only reached the point in which your sporadic, mid– The dial pad to scan into lecture coughs have matured your building. The “I haven’t from being obscenely distractseen you in so long” hugs. ing to mildly irritating. To be The doorknobs. The sheets of quite honest with yourself, classwork you turn in. Every being 100% is but a distant shirt sleeve you have worn in the past week. You’re thinking memory, and this lower standard of health is all that you about all of the places you’ve smeared your germs on. There will care to expect from now on. is something empowering about it, really. If I’m sick, everyone will be sick. They will have to suffer with me. It’s a TYLER DANIELS noble sacrifice.

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The little cough has turned into little coughs. There they are, repetitive and prohibitive to flirty conversation. And your throat hurts, but you haven’t had a drink of any water in an hour or so. And TO GO TO CLASS, OR your nose is a bit runny, but the breeze is really chilly today. NOT TO GO TO CLASS You’re not s***. You’re not.

You have to drag yourself from LET THE BLAME BEGIN your blankets to reach the bathroom two doors down, so is it worth hauling ass to You’re fucking sick. You’ve made peace with that now, but your 100–person lecture across not with whoever the hell gave campus? There are worse days it to you. Who is responsible? to miss, probably. This is only a Who do I need to sue? How do blip on your attendance record. you sue someone anyway? Was Hey, maybe there ISN'T any attendance record, anyway. It's it the poor soul who wheezed just your private little secret— on the back of your neck in between you, your overflowthe heat of one of their more aggressive mid–class coughing ing–with–tissues trash can, your confetti of cough drop fits? Your roommate, who is undoubtedly passing disease to wrappers, and your puddle of you and all of your belongings? tears.

The un–quarantined person “MOM! CALM DOWN!” you aren’t confident that you can recognize in a lineup, whose tongue you had in your All it takes is one unintelligible mouth at that party last week? mumble of “I’m sick” for your

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Which of you bastards did this to me?

8

over heard PENN at

Drunk Owls guy: “Let me know when you’re done with these nice New York Jews and you’re ready for a sketchy international Jew.” Spectator at Wharton Amazon case comp: “I don’t know who I want to win but I know who I want to win the least.”

SuperPAC employee: “I have to figure out how to register to vote.”

OCRn’t You Over It: “She was just sitting there, applying to things on Handshake. I was Handshook.”

SWUG: “I’m going to cry and cum at the same time.”

Frosh footballer: “I just kept fucking up the bodyshots.”

Mayor Kenney: “I thought Nixon was bad, but this is worse.”

Cultural linguist: “Was it all of the Jonases? The Jonii, if you will.”

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3

WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET

ON BEING A PHOTOGRAPHER AT PENN

I am at a sorority date night where I am intentionally and physically grabbed, pushed, and pulled. I am even followed into the bathroom.

Girls ask me to follow them all night and take candids, and one is so serious that she follows up with a message request the next day to make sure I send her the photos and only post “the good ones.”

I am backstage, watching an a cappella group’s pre–show ritual. I am there as a photographer to capture the moment, but I am also a student—a person—experiencing this moment with them. But I'm not one of them. I can’t sing for shit. Yet, show after show, I know the nuances of their facial features and the rhythms of their body language probably better than they know themselves.

I am in the midst of an untamed dance circle at a Fling event. A guy who I have never seen before in my life grabs my camera, tells his friend to take a photo of the two of us, and proceeds to kiss me on the head. Another, seemingly intrigued by my presence, asks my name and Facebook friend requests me.

When I began my freshman year at Penn, I hardly identified myself as a photographer. But I loved the way photography fused a mechanical, scientific process with a subjective, artistic one; the way it offered unconventional access to exploring the world, and better yet, the human mind. With a single click of a button, my camera deconstructed my passion for people—what makes them tick, why they think the way they do, who they are, and who they have become.

I quickly began photographing for more than just personal projects. Throughout these past three years, I sought out the most diverse of experiences: photographing a cappella shows, date nights and formals, fraternity composites, university events—the list goes on.

But, to many people’s disbelief, it has never been as simple as being an automaton that shows up, does its job, and leaves. To be a photographer at Penn is to exist within an incredibly strange limbo between others’ reality and your own.

I take part in the festivities. I dance, I drink, and, in many cases, I do really have fun—even at the events I don’t expect to. I meet new faces, I catch up with old ones, and I observe countless fascinating things happening before me, all

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The paradox of isolation

ISABELLA CUAN

through the lens of my artistic vision. And I make some decent money on the side to fund future projects (or my own social life for that matter). What more could I ask for?

But I leave when my job is done. I walk home alone, exhausted. I was not invited to the afterparty or the late night, nor did I expect to be.

I slip out while the audience floods the stage or once I realize everyone is too drunk to hold still for a photo. I know I'll never again see the majority of people I interacted with, the ones I seemingly formed some type of relationship with. Or, perhaps I will see them on Locust— maybe an uncomfortable glance my way. I know, intimately, hundreds of the faces at this school. But in comparison, few truly know mine. I am immersed in a paradoxical isolation

on this campus.

By virtue of me being a peer, a fellow Penn student, I can’t help but think that this isolation is yet another manifestation of the distinct culture that pervades our campus. That treating me with disrespect, physically violating my space, not giving me photo credit, or failing to follow up after I finish the album in record time during finals is just the way it is.

This isolation also seems to be a product of my frequent exposure to Penn’s intense group culture. I hop from one to the next, transcending boundaries and exchanging genuine laughs, interests, and conversations despite barriers of exclusivity. But these interactions tend to stop there because of my inherent “outsider” status. This is also exacerbated by the pursuit of a carefully–constructed image that drives many of these groups. Ironically, I am the beholder of this image. I may not have control over how these groups operate, but I do have some control over how these groups are perceived— which, at Penn, seems to be the most dangerously powerful position to have. We, as photographers, have in large part created the social scene at Penn. It’s a game we play, like it or not.

So why do I continue to do this? Because being a photographer is liberating. I am not an athlete, dancer, or singer, nor am I in a sorority or senior society. I get all the benefits of exclusivity while never having to subscribe myself to a single group or label. I see my environment in my own way, and I feel free to develop unlikely friendships or transcend socially–constructed boundaries; to invite strangers to be subjects in my work because it gives me—us—the space to have real conversation in a setting that otherwise makes it ridiculously difficult to do so.

The camera is my personal bridge between the intricate network of people, places, and things; my escape from the exhausting and often superficial social outlets at Penn. It is my way of deconstructing the image—perhaps the very same image I take part in creating—that oversimplifies our experiences. I am an insider and an outsider at the very same time, existing on the periphery. And so long as I remain a photographer, I will always exist on the periphery.

But the periphery is exactly where I want— and choose—to be.

MUSIC

THE BAND YOU'VE BEEN MISSING

YOUR ENTIRE LIFE: THE WAR ON DRUGS Three years. The music world waited patiently (me, on the other hand, not–so–patiently) for A Deeper Understanding by the War TALIA STERMAN on Drugs.

Photo by GaySonicLife3 // CC 4.0 THE BAND This Philly indie rock, ambient, bordering–on–Americana band fronted by Adam Granduciel dropped what was a near unanimously–acclaimed “masterpiece” of an album, Lost in the Dream, back in the summer of 2014. Now on their fourth album, the band’s grown in fame, fans (think the likes of me, my mom, Larry Fink— CEO of BlackRock for all you non–Whartonites—The New Yorker, and Jimmy Kimmel) and, most notably, talent. Even Jimmy Iovine, of Beats and The Defiant Ones fame, said that the War on Drugs should be “gigantic." What once was a Bob Dylan–esque rock group has now transformed into a larger–than–life, ambient, ethereal, and guitar–infused aural experience that also may or may not be changing the tide of rock music as we know it. That distinct sound surfaced in Lost in the Dream, only to be expanded and perfected in A Deeper Understanding.

track is upwards of five minutes long, so the song doesn’t really end unless you want it to. You can practically hear the labour behind every millisecond, so exacting that it’s not far off to imagine that the production of every song easily occupied the time it takes to produce your average album.

And it doesn’t stop there. You might not notice the airy vocals at first listen, but as the album envelops you, their softness seeps into your mind and elevates you elsewhere, bringing you to your highs, your lows and drawing out your deepest emotions. It’s as if Adam Granduciel wrote an album about your very own life. The coolest part? That the album is equal parts elation and sorrow. And it’s not the songs that caption your feelings—your emotions harness the beauty of this singular art form to create your own storyline.

THE BREAKDOWN If we’re being honest, every single song is incredible. Except maybe 'Up All Night.'

THE MUSIC Even on your first listen, That one’s just good. Get lisyou’ll notice that every track is tening and read on. produced to perfection, down to the fading of the synths, the “Up All Night” The song that makes you ever–so–subtle piano keys, the nostalgia–inducing harmon- feel like you’re stalling in time, ica cameos, and the cathartic stuck on a thought, reliving a "Wooh!s" (just listen, you’ll see moment, trying to escape— what I mean). Better yet, each like you're up all night, if you

War on Drugs. Instead, it'll transport you to a road trip you could have sworn you’ve taken, driving down an unnamed highway without a cloud in sight, and a Bob Dylan/Springstein–esque feeling.

The song that’ll have you head–bobbing, stupid–smiling, and daydreaming all at once.

“Strangest Thing” This song is a slow–burner if we’ve ever heard one. You’ll lose yourself in guitar solos you didn’t know could be produced. At least I didn’t. This “Holding On” one’s also particularly good for This song is uncharacteristi- reminiscing and reflecting. cally upbeat, departing from the signature slow–burn of the “Nothing to Find”

“Thinking of a Place” Eleven minutes about reminiscing about a person, a place, a perfect moment that you’ll genuinely never want to let go.

If you can’t handle the buildup, speed up to 6:37 and listen to arguably the best few seconds of music ever produced—lyrics, guitar, and otherwise.

will.

“Pain” This song’s about pain, no doubt, but it’s also about the uphill battle, resilience, and about knowing yourself throughout. "I resist what I cannot change / I wanna find what can’t be found” are the words I’m keeping close. And the piano here is pure magic.

Who even does that anymore?

“Knocked Down” Unexpectedly catchy. But slow. Confusing.

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CIVIC DUTY: EGO

AN AGENCY OF CHANGE ON PENN’S CAMPUS

Sitting next door to the St. Mary’s Church, directly across from Rodin College House, is Penn’s Civic House. It’s easy to miss if you’re walking by: the front of the house is shrouded in trees with a few steel tables and chairs along the walkway up to the front porch, where a painted banner that reads "CIVIC HOUSE" hangs. Despite its 20–year history on Penn’s campus, the house is a bit of a mystery to many students.

Those who are involved with

You've seen their upbeat chalkboard on Locust, but what's actually going on inside Civic House?

Civic House dedicate a considerable amount of time to the multitude of initiatives and programs based there, including internships with community organizations, tutoring opportunities on and off campus, and Alternative Spring and Winter Break trips that center around domestic community service opportunities.

Maddie Leonard (C ’18), one of the directors of PAB (Penn Alternative Breaks) has been on three PAB trips, where she’s gotten

to learn about coral reef preservation in Key West, Florida, workers’ rights in Austin, Texas, and housing inequality in Marion, South Carolina. “I’m really grateful for the opportunity to learn directly from and with the individuals experiencing these issues,” says Maddie. “Rather than sending a group of students in for a week to ‘help’ or ‘fix’ problems, PAB works towards mutually beneficial relationships and encourages participants to think about their own

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identities, both as Penn students and as individuals.”

Opportunities like these give students the chance to interact in a meaningful way outside of campus, often translating into lasting friendships. “I've met some of my closest friends through the organization,” Maddie says, “and I’m so grateful for the spaces of vulnerability and connection PAB has provided me outside of the context of Penn.”

Clare Connaughton (C ’18) echoes that sentiment, but she acknowledges how big a time commitment some Civic House initiatives are. Clare’s a member of the Civic Scholars program, a four– year community service and social justice program that culminates in a keystone project in which Civic Scholars make public, social, or organizational policy recommendations on a social issue in Philadelphia. “You give a lot of your time and energy and effort, but you really receive a lot in return in terms of the support you get from the staff and the students.”

Hack4Impact, an organization on Penn’s campus that develops software for nonprofit and socially conscious organizations, was born out of its founder’s Civic Scholars keystone project.

Through programs such as these, Civic House exposes students to a variety of community engagement opportunities that they might not otherwise have been aware of. Civic House was the first organization on Penn’s campus that helped fund students

pursuing nonprofit or public internships. This experience provides a level of interactive learning that both Civic House director David Grossman and associate director Elizabeth Cannon agree is integral to the organization. “During the internship, students are really learning and doing capacity building work for different partnerships and mentors who have dedicated their lives to this work.” Elizabeth says. In recent years, Civic House has enabled students to work with organizations such as the Aquinas Center, Bread and Roses Community Fund, and Philadelphia Legal Assistance.

For students, part of that impact also stems from the environment that Civic House fosters, something David describes as an atmosphere of “radical hospitality.”

“It’s being attentive,” he explains, “not in a hovering kind of way, but by being mindful of being welcoming to people. We treat our students the way we would want to be treated.” Students are welcome to come inside and hang out in the lounge or any unoccupied rooms. There’s food, tea, and coffee available, and due to the small size of programs, students grow very close within the community. “I feel like if I’m having a bad day I can just walk in and I can talk to someone about it,” Clare says, adding, “We all really value affirming each other and supporting each other."

SABRINA QIAO

EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: MEGHANA JAYAM M&T's living meme

HOMETOWN: DHAHRAN, SAUDI ARABIA MAJOR: M&T (COMPUTER SCIENCE, FINANCE) ACTIVITIES: BLOOMERS, CHI OMEGA, M&T BOARD, TA FOR FINANCE 250 FRESHMAN DORM ROOM: Coxe 315

Meghana Jayam is a living M&T meme—she's the president of the program's student board, and rarely takes off her M&T sweatshirt. But while the rest of her classmates are running throughout Huntsman to club meetings, Meghana's more likely to be holed up in Platt Performing Arts House, where she moonlights (quite literally, because these rehearsals can go late) as the chairwoman of Bloomers, Penn's kickass female comedy troupe.

And by the way, Bloomers has a show this weekend. Meghana thinks you should come.

34th Street: First of all, I don’t think there are any two worlds at Penn more different than M&T and the comedy/ performing arts scene. What’s it like to be such a big part of both of those?

Meghana Jayam: I do kind of wish there was more overlap!

What’s ended up happening is that my roommates are M&T, my classmates are M&T, and

LIGHTNING ROUND MY FAVORITE BLOOMERS SKETCH EVER IS… This consulting bit we did freshman year when I didn’t know what consulting was. I thought it was just so hilarious."

MY COMEDY IDOL IS… ”Aparna Nancherla, for sure. Maybe because she’s a strong Indian woman, maybe because she was on Bojack, maybe because she’s hilarious, or just a combination of all three.”

THE SONG I CANT STOP LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW IS…" 'The Last of the Real Ones' by Fall Out Boy." THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE AT PENN… ”Those who have tickets to see the Bloomers show this weekend, and those who don’t.”

HALEY WEISS

then my close friends outside of that are Bloomers, who I spend most of the rest of my time with during the week. I think in the M&T world when people think of me, they think of this really high–energy person who just kind of talks about Bloomers a lot and always has rehearsal. It probably seems like I use that as an excuse to get out of things, but I really just have so much rehearsal.

Street: Why do you think that there are so few women involved in comedy at the collegiate level?

MJ: I think comedy is just one of those risqué performing arts where, growing up, a lot of women are made to believe that they’re not funny or that they can’t be as funny as men. Even though nobody ever explicitly told me “You are not funny, and you can’t be funny,” when you look at TV shows and the general media, if a woman tries to be funny, it’s much more common that people are also going to say, “Oh, she’s annoy-

ing” or “I don’t like her voice.”

They’ll pick on small details about the woman rather than looking at her actual jokes. So I think those messages have created this void. It’s very similar in STEM. M&T is more than half male, even though they’re working towards a better ratio.

We know that girls are not as encouraged to go into STEM as men.

Street: What do you think of all of the M&T memes? Do you have a favorite one?

MJ: I am VERY involved in meme pages—that’s how I make friends, just by tagging people in memes. I don’t think I could choose a favorite meme, though. That’s like choosing between my children.

Street: What’s something I forgot to ask you?

MJ: You didn’t ask me what I wanted to be as a child! I wanted to be a mad scientist.

I definitely thought I was going to study math or physics in college and then become a mad scientist.

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VICE & VIRTUE

Photo by Megan Kyne

Plot twist: Allegro and Greek Lady are owned by the same family.

WE ARE ALL ALLEGRO

As I stumbled into Allegro Pizza at 2 a.m., an important question came to me: who is Allegro? At that moment, I made it my personal mission to find the man behind the slice of cheese and pepperoni I routinely devour in ten seconds, tops.

Immediately after arriving on campus, I realized that Allegro doesn’t need an explanation—it’s simply the place to be

late at night and eat some great food, and it’s always the move.

In fact, I hadn't even entered Allegro during daylight until my investigation began, and as I walked in at 3:30 p.m., I found that it looked drastically different. Instead of drunk college students waiting in line for a slice, it was filled with families grabbing a bite to eat. After asking to know more, I was introduced to one of the owners,

Elias “Lou” Kosmatos.

Kosmatos explained that Allegro has been in its current location since 1982, and it was originally one of five locations owned by an Italian family for 24 years. In 2006, Kosmatos’ family bought the University City location, and it became their third restaurant in the area—they also own Axis Pizza and Greek Lady. Yes, you read that correctly: Greek Lady and

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Allegro, two of the most iconic but also wildly different eateries on campus, are owned by the same family.

I asked Kosmatos what an average day at Allegro is like. He said that there are three main rushes: lunch, dinner, and late night (past midnight). Surprisingly, lunch is the busiest time of day. He says that the popular orders differ through the day, and past midnight, they usually are of the fried variety, including mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders, and, of course, slices.

However, he says that, “from time to time, a girl who really takes care of herself will order a salad, which is always funny.”

Kosmatos is constantly entertained by the late–night shenanigans at the restaurant, which keep him on his toes.

He says he has too many funny anecdotes to even recount, but most include inebriated people stumbling and generally being ridiculous.

“One time when it was busy at around two o’clock in the morning, there was a fight to get ahead in line, and a Penn student broke through the window,” he says. That student came back the next day to pay for the window and actually became good friends with Kosmatos.

Another notable moment was when a girl peed in the business office during Fling— the regular bathrooms had been

occupied, and she'd ended up in that office rather than the staff bathroom. Though these stories are amusing, Kosmatos says that the safety of the students is the priority, and that they don’t ever want to see someone too intoxicated.

Although for many Penn students, Allegro is known as a late–night hotspot, Kosmatos says that some of the customers have been coming since it opened 35 years ago. He emphasized how special the restaurant is for the community, saying, “people say it’s a landmark of West Philadelphia, in the center of everything.” Other than students, he says the majority of customers are West Philadelphia residents and professionals on their lunch break.

I asked the identity of Allegro, and Kosmatos simply responded that it means “happy." Even though Allegro isn’t named after a person, the restaurant has taken on a life of its own.

Exiting the restaurant after making awkward eye contact with two people in my comparative literature lecture, a Quad security guard, and a five–year– old, I came to the conclusion that, in a way, we are all Allegro, if only for the uniting moment when we all stuff our faces with the same recipes that have captivated the campus for decades.

JENNIFER CULLEN

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR VICE & VIRTUE

SWEATSHIRT

Public Domain

The Truth of Style and Streetwear at Penn

The “avant–garde” and fashion have often converged—so much so that they are generally confused. Throughout history, fashion has played an integral role in reorienting public opinion and challenging the status quo. But fashion's arrived at an impasse. Recent runway shows have been chastised for recycling trends of the last century and failing to be inventive. The risk is more than mundanity— fashion’s failure to be experimental is, as trend–forecaster Li Edelkoort concluded in her 2016 “Anti-Fashion Manifesto,” problematic. Fashion is an ethos—one that, without innovation, becomes dangerously regressive. Edelkoort stresses that this doesn’t just leave us bare of exciting new art, but socially stagnated. As she lamented in a provocative lecture last fall in Oxfordshire, UK: “Fashion is old–fashioned.”

Penn is implicated in this nouveau–banalité, but if you’ve got a proclivity for athleisure, own a penny board, or are in a frat, one particularly pilfering brand name probably besets your wardrobe: Supreme. Supreme purports itself as “guerilla fashion,” a style “rooted” in the streets. It’s (ostensibly) urban, yet urbane; couture, yet languid; sleek, yet accessible. According to style writer Glenn O’Brien, Supreme is not concerned with “getting

as big as possible” so much as maintaining itself as “hood.”

This veneer is thin: replicating high–finance marketing ploys, creating niched (not niche) markets, and 100–plus–hour– long waits for seasonal drops prove Supreme is anything but “the people’s” boutique.

These haphazard PR murmurs fuse two otherwise disparate lexicons, reifying a not just contrived, but disturbing paradigm.

Let us not speak euphemistically: Supreme’s “inspirees” are not the dilettantes strutting Walnut in Neiman Marcus, but the poor and POC (people of color) who, by popular imagery and structural vulnerability, are irrefutably entangled in our expectations and conceptions of what is “urban.” Low–income, inner–city communities have been the sites of the most significant cultural production of the last 60 years (such as this entire genre of music).

Their vibrancy attracts young professionals and artists seeking stimulating but affordable communities; this, in turn, attracts savvy real estate buffs and new–age middle class families, spurring development. This catalyzes a violent feedback loop of rent hikes and development, and the initial population, no longer able to afford their own neighborhood, is forced to leave. The very aura

that brings these communities their limelight ultimately boos them off the stage. This isn’t novel; rather, it’s the hackneyed history of gentrification.

While Supreme’s market practices eerily mirror those of gentrification, they’re not alone nor original. Rewind to the phosphorescence of the 90s and you’ll find Baysie Wightman blazing down Boston

streets in her neon best. At some point last century, fashion made a curious turn from high couture to “trickle up”—it wasn’t cool if it wasn’t coming from the streets. Baysie, privy to this cultural shift and many others, was a self–proclaimed “coolhunter”—an urban scout prowling the streets for inspo well before Pinterest boards.

Baysie would take paper, pen-

cil, and her ego out into Boston, walk into the inner city, and ask black kids about what they were wearing and why. In the era that dawned The 700 Club, this activity is unsurprising, but that is not to say it’s kosher. Rather, it corroborates a dark American historical narrative.

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9

F E AT U R E

F E AT U R E

STUCK IN THE BOX HOW STUDENTS WITH CRIMINAL RECORDS GET INTO PENN I t was an excruciatingly hot day in Mississippi. The kind of day that called for ice cream and soda in a sweating paper cup. The kind of day that called for McDonald's.

Connie* (C ’18) and her friend were home alone. Both of their parents were working. It was too hot to walk to the golden arches, and at only 14, they didn’t have licenses yet. But Connie knew how to drive—and she knew how to hotwire a car. Her neighbor had a car. Her neighbor was away for the weekend.

Emboldened by her friend, Connie hotwired her neighbor’s car and drove it one mile to McDonald’s. As soon as the girls stepped inside, they were confronted by another neighbor. She knew the girls were both 14 and that it wasn’t their car, and she had already called the cops. “I guess she thought she was doing me a favor by telling me,” Connie shrugged.

The girls hightailed it home, passing police car after police car.

As they drew closer to her house, Connie looked in the rearview mirror and saw a cruiser turn around to follow them, with lights on and siren off. She didn’t think to immediately pull over. When she did, five more police officers pulled up, and she and her friend were separated and questioned.

“I needed tampons,” she blurted out, hoping they would go easy on her. They didn’t.

The officers read Connie her rights and arrested her. Her friend went home.

I

n a 2013 survey in the Journal of School Violence, 35% of the universities responded that they had denied enrollment to at least one applicant due to a criminal record. Some schools, including all public universities in Louisiana, have eliminated application questions relating to criminal history. But most schools who use the Common App still look at and, in part, base application decisions on criminal records.

The Common App’s question, referred to by many

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as “the Box,” reads: Have you ever been found responsible for a disciplinary violation at any educational institution you have attended from the 9th grade (or the international equivalent) forward, whether related to academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct, that resulted in a disciplinary action? These actions could include, but are not limited to: probation, suspension, removal, dismissal, or expulsion from the institution.

Have you ever been adjudicated guilty or convicted of a misdemeanor or felony?

Students who answer “yes” may jeopardize their acceptances to college. Beginning in 2006, the “Ban the Box” campaign began to rally for the removal of “the Box” that requires applicants to self– report their criminal histories on job applications. More recently, they’ve turned their efforts towards removing “the Box” from college applications.

C

onnie spent three days in a juvenile detention center, where she was strip–searched and made to squat and cough. Her belongings were confiscated. She slept on a mat that felt like a thin piece of rubber and had to shower with guards watching.

They were allowed some rec time outdoors, but it was less than enriching. “You just got to sit outside in the sun for a while in your handcuffs.”

While showering, Connie was confronted by another girl, who took Connie’s hair–tie, her only personal possession. When Connie snapped at her, the girl backhanded her so hard her glasses snapped in half. At her court appearance, her father cried when he saw her mottled purple eye.

Today, Connie laughs when she retells this story. “It really helped me get my shit together.”

She was anxious about applying to Penn with this offense on her record. Her neighbor never pressed charges, but the state still wanted to try 14–year–old Connie as an adult for grand theft auto. The maximum penalty

would’ve been seven years, but she had a good lawyer, something that shocked many of the other girls in the juvenile detention center.

The state eventually dropped the charges, and Connie did 80 hours of community service and had her record expunged. “When I think about how my life could have been completely ruined—” she pauses, “I’m not a bad person, I just made a dumb ass mistake.

I was terrified colleges were going to reject me for something like that.”

C

onnie got to check “no” for the criminal disclosure question on the Common App, but she’s aware that many applicants in similar situations cannot afford a lawyer.

“If the nature of the crime isn’t violent and it doesn’t harm another person physically, I don’t think it’s necessary to put that question on the Common App. People change and plenty of people make stupid decisions.”

She is no longer surprised by the severity of her charges. “The more I think about it...it makes sense because it’s Mississippi of all places, and I’m a black person.”

According to data presented by Community Legal Services (CLS), a Philadelphia–based law firm providing pro–bono legal services to low–income individuals, black youths are 3.64 times as likely as their white peers to face prosecution in juvenile court in Philadelphia. Research from that study also showed that due to the Common App’s question, many applicants with prior criminal records will not complete their applications, either due to stigma attached to having a record or because of the follow–up questions that are asked after self–identifying.

As Jamie Gullen, a lawyer with CLS, explains, “This process particularly impacts students of color who are disproportionately targeted by the juvenile criminal justice system.”

Pennsylvania is unique in that juvenile records are not always confidential. For juveniles who are 14 or over and found guilty of a felony, their record is avail-

able as part of any standard background check. A felony can mean a wide range of offenses from retail theft to murder— they’re all grouped under the umbrella term of “felony.”

M

any colleges say “the Box” is meant to advise the admissions committee, not discriminate against the applicant.

In an email, Dean Furda described the Penn process: “Penn Admissions will ask the questions we feel are necessary in our application process to understand the full background of an applicant to be invited into our residential community. We will always wait for full due process in any school disciplinary or legal proceedings before making an admission decision.”

Due to the wording of the Common App’s question, applicants are required to disclose even summary offenses of which they are found guilty, offenses such as disorderly conduct, harassment, and curfew violations.

In Pennsylvania, there’s a five–year waiting period after the case has been closed before a petition for expungement can be made.

Because of that, “the Box” can reflect even minor offenses from childhood. For the average 18–year–old applicant, a bad decision made prior to age 13 may haunt them during the application process.

However, supporters of “the Box” argue that it helps protect the student body by filtering out potentially dangerous criminals.

In the absence of “the Box,” applicants with more serious records may be allowed to matriculate.

In 2006, Caleb* applied for Penn’s graduate school online. But at the time of his application, there wasn’t a question asking for criminal record disclosure.

He didn’t have to report that, around a decade ago when he was 22, he was arrested and put on Megan’s list, a sex offenders registry system.

In 2004, Caleb worked as a summer camp counselor. According to Caleb, he became close with one of his campers. After camp, the two kept in touch through AIM, and two weeks of instant messaging later, Caleb alleges, the boy invited Caleb to his grandparent’s house. At midnight, Caleb drove there and snuck in through the basement door while the boy’s grandfather slept upstairs. Caleb and the minor engaged in oral sex, which he claimed was consensual, and left after an hour. According to Pennsylvania state law, a person must be 16 years of age or older to consent to sexual activity with anyone more than four years older.

He confided to his co–counselors, and thought it had blown over. But they had called the boy’s mother. Two months later, Caleb was arrested.

He was bewildered. Caleb hired a lawyer and surrendered without a trial. He spent 13 months in county jail, and another 17 months at a community correction center. This

was 30 months less than the maximum sentence. “I hadn’t realized the full extent of what the repercussions would be,” he says.

While an inmate, Caleb applied to Penn as part of a prison-run program designed to let inmates work, but the program approved Caleb’s request to apply to graduate school instead.

Three years later, in the fall of 2006, Caleb began as a graduate student at Penn.

While still an inmate at the correctional facility, Caleb drove himself to Penn every morning. After classes, he would drive himself back to jail. Sometimes, officials would come to Penn and do infrequent spot checks. “There was no one really responsible for me when I was at Penn,” Caleb says.

To Caleb’s knowledge, Penn’s administration didn’t know about his sex offender status when he applied. Under Megan’s Law III, sex offenders were required to report the address of their place of employment or study. According to Caleb, the minor’s mother was never informed about Caleb’s enrollment due to a clerical error. When the minor’s mother saw Caleb’s updated record on Megan’s List, she called Penn to complain to the University. Two weeks into his second semester, Caleb was called into a court hearing, where a judge ruled that he shouldn’t be allowed to return to school. Penn granted him a leave of absence, with the option to return after he was released from jail.

“I kind of always thought that eventually people may find out,” he says, growing quiet.

In January 2008, Caleb returned to Penn after his year–long leave. He says that in order to re–enroll, he wrote the dean a letter.

Caleb claims the dean gave him a list of conditions under which he could return, which Caleb agreed to.

Caleb went on to graduate in May 2014, and after an an extensive job search, he moved abroad and is working in his chosen career field.

“The Box” never ruined his life. Not everyone else can say the same.

SABRINA QIAO IS A JUNIOR IN THE COLLEGE STUDYING ENGLISH. SHE IS THE EGO BEAT OF 34TH STREET.

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FILM & TV

BLADE RUNNER 2049 ASKS MORE QUESTIONS THAN IT ANSWERS Cyborgs and babies and Gosling, oh my!

W

arning: LOTS of spoilers ahead. #sorrynotsorry.

Some films are better at asking than telling, and Blade Runner 2049, a sequel to the 1982 cyberpunk science–fiction film Blade Runner, is one of them.

There are some gaps in storytelling, but the film’s major questions more than make up for this flaw.

Blade Runner 2049 takes place 30 years after the original film. K, played by a fittingly stoic Ryan Gosling, is a blade runner—a police officer who hunts down cyborg slaves known as replicants and kills them if they fail to get along with humans. He's a replicant himself, and has a simulated girlfriend Joi (Ana de Armas) with whom he has a deep romantic relationship. After his investigative team, led by Lieutenant Joshi (Robin Wright), discovers evidence that a replicant may have given birth, K

Photo by The Ladd Company is ordered by Joshi to find and kill the baby, as it may destroy the distinction between humans and replicants. K patches together clues and reaches the conclusion that retired blade runner Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) and replicant Rachael (Sean Young)—the main protagonists of the 1982 film—are the parents of the miracle replicant baby and that K himself is that baby. He sets out to meet Deckard when Deckard is captured by replicant assistant Luv (Sylvia Hoeks). Luv brings Deckard to her boss, replicant manufacturer Niander Wallace (Jared Leto), who interrogates him to find out the secret of replicant reproduction so he can make more replicants with fewer resources.

Flaws first: Blade Runner 2049, unlike most other science–fiction films, spends little time—if any—explaining the technical workings of its plot.

Thirty–five years after the origi-

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FILM & TV

nal film, fans are still not given an answer to their most burning question—“is Rick Deckard a replicant or not?”—and several questions that could shake the very premise of the film are never answered. However, director Denis Villeneuve so beautifully leads the audience toward his questions that it is quite easy, or perhaps even beneficial, for the audience to ignore the flaws in his storytelling. The 164–minute running time would not bode well with more storytelling either.

Now to the merits, of which there are many. At surface level, Villeneuve and cinematographer Roger Deakins have created an aesthetically mesmerizing film that that is teeming with sweet but suffocating colors. Amber light pervades the screen for entire sequences, and flashing neons are engineered to feel empty and highlight the characters. These colors paint the characters more dynamically than the blue–tinted original does, both literally and figuratively. The emotions the characters feel can be sweet, but they are constantly challenged by their repercussions.

With the plot as well, the characters in the film are given

more dimension than those in the original film. The original experimented with the idea of humanity by showing the replicants as more emotional than humans, but provided such little character development

professes the most heartfelt love seen in this series. On the other hand, replicant manufacturer Wallace is human but shows no sympathy for his replicants; the love he claims to feel for them rings hollow. The line be-

Ana’s hand, although each of their biologies—or lack thereof—suggests that Ana is the most human of the three. So if our biology can't tell us if we are human, what can?

One answer audiences can

if our biology can't tell us if we are human, what can? that it was hard for audiences to connect with the characters.

The original tells of human emotions; the sequel shows. K starts out robotic and subdued but eventually reaches a cinematic high point of raw anger; Joi is merely a simulation but

tween human and non–human is again artfully challenged in three parallel scenes: rain slowly patters and spreads around Joi’s simulated hand, snow lands and melts on K’s replicant hand, and simulated snow does not meet miracle replicant baby

take from Blade Runner 2049 is that our decisions make us human. When all evidence seemed to point to K having been born from a mother, Joi tells him that he is special because he was “pushed out into the world.”

However, we see that Wallace’s

replicants are also pushed out into the world from an artificial amniotic sac. It also turns out that K was actually not born from a mother. So, in the biological sense, K is not human at all. However, replicant rebel leader Freysa offers another way to be human, saying that dying for a worthy cause is the most human thing one could do.

And this K does. He sacrifices himself while fighting to bring Deckard to his daughter, Ana. Other characters become more human with their decisions as well. Joi is technically immortal because she is a simulation, but she sacrifices herself by deciding to become mortal for her boyfriend.

Whereas the original Blade Runner asked if we were being human enough, Blade Runner 2049 goes further to ask us what decisions we might make to be human. What are we willing to fight for? If we can ever answer this question, we will be able to die human—as K does with Villeneuve’s signature content stoicism (last seen in Arrival) slowly lying back on the snow.

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ARTS

STREET BOOK CLUB:

IMMORTALITY Your friendly reminder that nothing matters and everything is just a social construct!

Book: Immortality by Milan Kundera Recommended by: Sherry Tseng Plot: Immortality starts with a simple gesture: a casual wave goodbye to Agnes's swimming instructor. From this small moment, Kundera launches into Agnes's life. Agnes longs to move to the Swiss mountains where she can finally indulge in the freedom of solitude. But her younger sister, Laura, is not easy to shake off; Laura imitates Agnes's every move, her essence.

Kundera uses this premise to explore the concept of immortality. The book doesn't address immortality in the sense of how a person can somehow live forever, but centers on the immortality of the mark a person can leave on the world. After all, immortality and death are nearly one and the same, an “inseparable pair more perfect than Marx and Engels, Romeo and Juliet, Laurel and Hardy," Kundera writes.

But is this possible? For the existentialist, the individual is merely a speck, its significance nothing short of that speck. Even “a gesture is more individual than an individual.” Immortality is something reserved only for a select few. However, even the immortals Goethe and Hemingway (immortal through the way their work is preserved) reap no benefits from their immortality, only constantly being subject to an “eternal trial.” What, then, is the point of trying to achieve immortality? Why leave a mark when nothing good comes out of it?

Like many of his other works, Kundera divides Immortality into different sections—seven in this case—each dis crete yet intertwined at the same time. This novel is among the best of his works, perhaps only surpassed by The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

Recommended for: Existentialists, anyone with a decent taste in the literary arts Why This Book: Because when you’re told you're even less of an individual than a gesture, at least it’s said beautifully

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ARTS

READING INTO THE PALM I stand outside 2401 Walnut Street, looking up at the banner overhead with “Psychic Readings” lettered into the fabric. The neon sign plastered on the window tells me it’s open. I ring the bell, but it's only after two minutes or so that the door actually opens. When it does, I'm greeted

by Mrs. Lena, who looks a little confused, but nonetheless welcomes me in.

Wordlessly, she points me to a wooden chair where, evidently, I am to stay as she takes my friend

in. I sit down, flipping through the pages of the Vogue magazines that lie on a wooden stand next to me. Other than that, there isn’t much to do or look at. Well, there is the menu of prices: $10 for one palm, $20 for both, $45 for E.S.P (extrasensory perception, though what the actual service included was difficult to discern), $40 for a crystal ball reading, and $50 for a tarot card reading. My first thought was: why the hell would people pay $50 for someone to read a card about them? But then

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again, I’m here.

Maybe ten minutes later, my friend comes out, with a smile that must have pointed to the fact that the experience was a positive one. Mrs. Lena calls me in.

Through the glass doors, I walk in and am immediately stunned by the décor and the plethora of intricacies. Lined up on the counter by the wall are a number of stones (precious–looking), rocks that glitter purple, and figurines resembling Buddha. This time, she points me to another chair and I sit down, facing Mrs. Lena.

Clad in a blue shirt, she asks me for my name and then tells me to lay my right palm in front of me. The table beside our chairs has another, much larger figurine of Buddha with a crystal ball in front, encircled by some cards that I can only guess must be the $50 tarot cards.

With my right palm facing upwards on my leg, she takes a

The future's in your hands (literally).

SHERRY TSENG

quick look—no contact at all— and asks me to think of two wishes, one that I am to tell her and another I am to keep to myself.

I have never been the type to believe in mystics or psychics; they held as much credibility as astrology, which told me every month that I would make a lot of money this month and find the love of my life on the 17th (still waiting for this to happen). So I give her the vaguest answer: “I wish I knew what my future was.”

Almost immediately, Mrs. Lena tells me that I am going to have three children one day. It seems implausible—I wouldn't exactly consider myself the biggest fan of children—so up to this point I am still skeptical.

But then she launches into a detailed description of how my past relationship started, how it happened, and how it ended, among a number of other experiences and emotional states

during those experiences. Entering the room, the thought of the relationship had not even crossed my mind, let alone come out as a question or nonverbal cue, but she was spot–on for everything.

My perception of palm reading had always been that it was a sham. Somebody would look at my palm closely and tell me what my life line or love line says about me. But that is not what happened. Mrs. Lena, sitting maybe two feet away, had only looked at my palm throughout our conversation and told me exactly what had happened in my life and what that meant for me.

At the end, not too surprisingly, she concludes the session by offering a more extensive reading with the tarot reading. I decline, but still, there is only one thing running through my head: What the actual fuck? I guess I’ll just have to wait to see if I ever abandon my dislike of children.

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CLAIRE SCHMIDT

Three weeks after publishing the less–than–stellar attendance rates of fraternities to required campus events, the Interfraternity Council (IFC) has released a new list of mandatory events for all affiliated fraternities.

“We are tremendously excited about these new campus events,” said IFC President Chad Dannon (C '18). “We understand that the previous list of events were perhaps too complicated or strenuous to attend for our members. However, we really believe that these programs will open the eyes of our constituent members and allow them to really engage on the issues!”

The updated list of events are as follows: 1. A brief meeting explaining what the Vagina Monologues are 2. A brief meeting explaining what a vagina is 3. Innocent bystander encouragement session 4. Workshop: Speak to a woman about sports while not also asking her if she is really qualified to be discussing said sport 5. Workshop: Speak to a woman about her career without insinuating she could sleep her way to the top 6. Workshop: Speak to a woman Additionally, due to fraternity backlash, the IFC announced that they will no longer expect 100% attendance at each event.

“It was very unfair of the IFC to expect us to have 100% attendance at an event that’s supposed to, what—teach us how to interact honestly with our classmates and peers?” said a College senior and fraternity member, who wished to remain anonymous due to his desire to never experience any consequences for any of his actions.

Fraternities will now be expected to send 2% of their total membership to each event.

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

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“Fuq u and ur lil dog too *drink emoji*” You headed to Dolphin Tavern last night, but had enough Franzia at the pregame to think that it was called the DOG Tavern, leading you to assume you would be meeting at least one dog at the establishment. You did not meet any dogs and were correspondingly devastated.

“Soul! *bike emoji* *sweat emoji*” This one was from when you were being chased by an ASPCA volunteer who wanted you to donate and, in the attempt to escape, ran into a biker making his way down Walnut. He got angry and demanded compensation to replace his very irritating “Vegans Have Souls, Too” sticker that had been ripped in the collision.

“Septa LOL” A classic. Though parts of your night are blurry, you do have a slight feeling that you bounced from point A to B… and then B to C and then C to A when you realized you forgot your wallet.

“Smokey Joe’s Bar” Classic freshman move right here. Not quite sure how you got in or who it was that paid for your $0.50 drinks during Sink or Swim last Wednesday, but you don’t want to be “that guy” who mooches off others. Props to you for being preemptive with paying that junior back…even if he may not remember buying it for you in the first place.

LOWBROW IS FAKE. ALL SATIRE. JOKES! BUT A REAL ANNOUNCEMENT: IT'S MOTHERFUCKING SCARF SEASON. CAN I GET A HELL YEAH??

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

ramen bar ラーメン ラ メン

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PENN 4040 Locust Street | 215-243-9999 DREXEL 3438-48 Lancaster Ave | 215-921-5804 ramenbarphilly.com

LUNCH Mon – Fri: 11:30am – 3:00pm Sat – Sun: 12:00pm – 3:00pm BAR

11:30am – 10:00pm

DINNER Mon – Sat: 4:30pm – 10:00pm Sun: 4:30pm – 9:00pm

HAPPY HOUR Mon – Fri: 4:30pm – 6:30pm Sat – Sun: 9:00pm – 11:00pm (drink specials only) $4 Appetizers (excluding certain dishes) $4 Drafts & Well Drinks $5 Wines & Sake Bombs $6 Specialty Cocktails $1 off all other alcoholic drinks O C T O B E R 1 8 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9

University City’s Newest Addition

STATE-OF-THE-ART FITNESS CENTER | KEYLESS ENTRY PROGRAMMABLE NEST THERMOSTATS | FULLY FURNISHED WITH WASHER AND DRYER MODERN STAINLESS STEEL KITCHEN APPLIANCES HIGH TECH VIDEO ENTRY SYSTEM | RESERVED PARKING OPTIONS 121 S O U T H 41S T S T R E E T

A CAMPUS APARTMENTS COMMUNITY

now leasing for

august 2018 LIVECAMPUSAP TS.COM / 267. 297.0101

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