April 12, 2012

April 12, 2012 34st.com

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

april 12

FROMtheEDITOR

STUDYBUDDY

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the round–up, word on the street, overheards, dispatches.

4

4 EGO

fling organizers ego of the week, first time fling guide.

6 FOOD & DRINK

12

nutritionist interview, eat this not that, drinks of the week.

8 FILM

movies on drugs, reviews, the room drinking game.

10 FEATURE

fling candyland, kinda.

12 MUSIC

graph of substance abuse, best bands in the quad, notable tiesto songs.

15 ARTS

arthur ross show, that random peace sign by vp, the wild party.

18 LOWBROW

failed fling tanks, fling over the years, top 10 people to shoutout

Man, I have a whole lot of work to do this weekend.

The fact that I’m writing this letter right now more or less demonstrates my poor time management skills. Sometimes I feel like I’m all play and no work — doing irresponsible things like working on this magazine when I should be writing my Classical Studies paper.

The only thing on my mind right now is getting back to Fisher.

FISHER. FISHER. FISHER. ROMAN LEAD PIPES. KEATS. LE MAROC. But it’s a rough time for everyone in terms of school, right?

I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to with group projects, papers, etc. next week. It’s crunch time — our bad decisions of the

bands in the quad

7

hangover helpers

10

Come get your Fling started off right at our meeting.

Come drunk, leave happy. And drunk.

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

20 BACKPAGE 34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

fling scavenger hunt

2

past are catching up with us. So let’s make some good decisions this weekend.

Let’s all just agree to respect one another while working. I won’t eat my chips too loud in the library if you don’t fuck with the outlets under the tables and make the lights flicker. Deal?

It’s going to be okay, guys. With some coffee, a few study buddies and self–discipline, we can make it through this weekend.

Good luck. Get sleep. Keep a level head. Don’t steal animals from the petting zoo. Don’t vomit glitter. Don’t sleep with your T.A.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Editor–in–Chief Joe Pinsker, Managing Editor Adrian Franco, Online Managing Editor Hilary Miller, Design Chloe Bower, Design Sarah Tse, Photo Laura Francis, Assistant Photo Zeke Sexauer, Associate Design Paige Rubin, Highbrow Zacchiaus Mckee, Highbrow Faryn Pearl, Ego Patrick Ford–Matz, Ego Tucker Johns, Food & Drink

Nina Wolpow, Food & Drink Colette Bloom, Feature Leah Steinberg, Feature Sam Brodey, Music Frida Garza, Music Daniel Felsenthal, Film Alex Hosenball, Film Ellie Levitt, Arts Megan Ruben, Arts Anthony Khaykin, Lowbrow Sandra Rubinchik, Lowbrow Alexa Nicolas, Backpage Lauren Reed–Guy, Copy Ben Lerner, Copy Patrick Del Valle, Copy

34st.com Online Associate Editors Inna Kofman Ali Jaffe Elena Gooray Katie Giarla Cover Photo: DP Archives Contributors: Olivia Rutigliano, Lin Zheng, Jack Nessman, Robin Bower, Isabel Oliveres, The Academy, Kim Pinsker, Valerie Remix

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor-–in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898–6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "If I ever do blow, it'll be off his dick." ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published

by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

DISPATCHES: Wasted at Wine Tasting 7:52 p.m.: Drag my suit out of the back of my closet. I hate wearing this, but I’ll do almost anything for free wine.

8:03 p.m.: Friend arrives to pick me up. Ask him if showing up to a formal wine tasting high would be a bad thing. He informs me that it probably would be.

Whoops. Too late.

8:15 p.m.: Arrive at wine tasting. A wondrous aroma surrounds me. Whites and reds beckon me from every corner. It’s as if Dionysus has opened the gates of heaven, raining bliss down upon me. Fuckkkk, I’m high.

8:31 p.m.: Literally down five glasses of expensive wine in 15 minutes. I ain’t even trynna taste this fancy–ass wine.

8:40 p.m.: I have found the cheese plate. I’ll hunker down here for a while so I can avoid awkward small talk.

8:44 p.m.: Seventh glass of wine. Moderation is for suckers.

8:53 p.m.: Head outside for some fresh air. See couple making out. They see me looking. Make a

U–Turn. Outside was suffering from a severe lack of alcohol, anyway.

9:10 p.m.: 10th glass of wine. At least everyone else is getting drunker too. I have reached the point of the night where I start conversations with random strangers.

9:21 p.m.: “What do you mean you’ve never seen Titanic? I am depressed. You are actually depressing me right now.” Friend escorts me away.

9:37 p.m.: 14th glass of wine.

9:58 p.m.: Friend brings me outside to lecture me on my behavior. I try to spit out a retort, but vomit instead. That’ll show him. Master litigator I am.

10:06 p.m.: Oh god, here comes more. Dammit, I’m going to need to get this suit dry–cleaned.

10:11 p.m.: I’m pretty sure this is the most someone has ever thrown up at a wine tasting. I should get an award.

10:23 p.m.: Ok. I think I’m good. Leave smelling of vomit and victory. You can’t say I don’t go out with a bang.

THEROUNDUP

at

Girl reading off guy’s phone: Your mom loves you. Like, L–U–V luv.

Guy: Oh my god…

She’s probably drunk.

Chick at Smoke’s: We’re skinny so we’re hot. But we’re like not skinny compared to freshmen.

Boy 1: I think Tiesto is club music.

Boy 2: Yeah, my friend says it is a DJ. Guy in Orgo class: Wait, when’s Fling?

Dude: Walk–of–shaming is even worse when you’re walk–of–shaming back from Drexel.

Summer Birthdays Suck

BY MARIAM MAHBOB

I

loathe my summer birthday. Especially since coming to Penn. Take last summer, for example: my mom asked me what I wanted to do for my 19th birthday, which at the time was coming in a few weeks. My plans were simple: round up a few friends in the area for lunch at my favorite “witch–themed” cafe, then go watch One Day (I love Anne Hathaway… whatever, hater).

That is, until I checked my Facebook and realized that the friends I wanted to invite were all either going to be on vacation, back at their respective schools or scattered across the country.

At this point in my life, I wasn’t surprised.

Why must my friends be absent in August? It was a vicious cycle repeating itself, year after year after year. Oh the woe of being a summer baby.

When you’re young, you want nothing more than to invite all your friends and go play Laser Tag, but if you’re unfortunate enough to be born in July or August, you’re lucky if your friends are still in town.

Or if they are, it’s those awkward friends from high school you promised to keep in touch with but never did. Now you’re stuck hanging out with Sally, who won’t shut up about all the awards she’s won for fencing at insert state school.

SHUT UP SALLY, NO ONE CARES. In elementary school, I was always jealous of the other kids in the class who got to be Mr. or Ms. Popular for the day just by having their moms bring cupcakes and having the class sing “Happy Birthday” to them. The teacher always insisted on celebrating class birthdays in chronological order, starting with September. By the time June rolled around, the teacher would be so burnt out from this crap that she always seemed to “forget” July and August birthdays.

It only gets worse when you’re college. No excited Facebook posts from friends leading up to your birthday like, “OMG, ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THIS WEEKEND?!!!!” No birthday BYOs at Don Memo’s. No drunken mayhem.

Nope, because you’re stuck at home with your family still receiving cards from grandma with 20–dollar bills not–so–secretly tucked into them, as she tells you not to “spend it all in one place.”

Don’t worry Grandma — I won’t. I’ll spend half on Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, and the other half on tissues to dry my tears.

So the next time you try complaining about having a midterm the Monday after your “totally awesome birthday weekend,” remember: at least you had an awesome birthday weekend. I was sitting at home, chilling with my cats this summer.

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

It’s almost time, kittens. Just one more day until the official start of Fling, but if you’re like Highbrow, you’ve been celebrating since Monday. Prepare yourselves for a weekend of drunken debauchery, long lines for Tiesto and even longer lines outside the HUP emergency room.

Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do, though. Or rather, don’t do anything you don’t want to read here next week.

Things got messy at the Oracle initiation this past week. Sources tell us that the inductees were covered in syrup and ketchup before having to make Cheerio necklaces and sing the Oracle song at the Button. At least the members got to wear trash bags over their clothes. But hey, maybe we’ll see a comeback of Mugatu’s trashy Derelicte campaign.

Occupy Locust Walk! Mask and Wig staged their annual pledge protest this past week, with their boa–clad sophomores and juniors picketing in front of Van Pelt. This year the Wiggers took up arms against listening, holding up signs and shouting, "Don't listen to me!" Will do.

Hey, the message isn't as moving as some of Penn's other activist groups but at the very least our feathered friends are always amusing to watch.

It's no secret that Passover falls on Fling weekend this year, with people stocking up on potato vodka and Manischewitz in anticipation. But who says the holiday isn't a prime time to get wasted? One SDT girl really raged while home for seder at her grandparents' house. While the rest of her family hunted for the afikomen and munched on celery, we hear this chick drank two full bottles of wine, vommed out her parents' car window on the way home and passed out in her little sister's bed. Oy vey. Hope she saved some energy for this weekend.

Not to be confused with the Drew Barrymore/Hugh Grant classic, we hear two seniors are throwing a Music with Lyrics party, as an alternative to the Tiesto concert that most of campus will be attending. If you're not passed out, or if you couldn't snag a ticket to the show, check out this party, which is taking requests and promising bottle service. Highbrow plans to show up, rage to a few Disney tunes and then bounce.

over heard PENN

wordonthestreet

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

HIGHBROW

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

EGO

FOR FIRST–TIME FLINGERS If you're a Fling virgin, don't stress. Let us help you make the most of your first time. It won't hurt, we promise.

BY PATRICK FORD–MATZ AND FARYN PEARL

FRIED OREOS Ask someone what happens in the Quad during Fling, and their first answer (after blacking out, fist fighting RA’s and using unlocked rooms as carpeted port–a–potties) will probably be Fried Oreos. Fat. Oil. Guilt.

What more could you want?

When To Go: All day, every day.

Don’t Miss: The FlingSafe and SPEC volunteers jumping to the front of the line for instant trans–fatty goodness.

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Three. Sober enough to keep it down, drunk enough to not hate yourself for it.

MOONBOUNCE

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

This plush palace is the perfect place to confound your inner ears and “accidentally” collapse atop your equally wasted crush. A warning though: bouncy castles may become slippery when wet… with your vomit. And other bodily fluids.

When To Go: Early. Trust us.

Don’t Miss: The exposed bare feet of everyone whose exposed bare feet you never wanted to see.

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Do everyone a favor and leave the Moonbounce for the sober people and small children.

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MASK & WIG They close the show every year for a reason. These boys commit — to their tour, to their characters, and now, hopefully, to tradition. C’mon!

Don’t be shy! Whip them out! Sincerely, every girl on campus.

When To Go: Saturday at 5 p.m.

Don’t Miss: Do we really have to write anything here?

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Depends.

How much do you want to remember?

PHOTO BOOTH For the low, low price of your dignity, you can immortalize your drunken stupor for all of time with the Fling Photo Booth. Gather your amigos, wait in line and try to keep your eyes open.

When To Go: Whenever you're feeling a Kodak moment.

Don’t Miss: The opportunity to throw the pregame of the year. Who needs some freshman’s nasty–ass dorm room when you have a hot, closet–sized metal box equipped for all your binge–drinking needs?

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Five. Get wasted enough to take some quality shotz, but not so smashed that your tank’s covered in vom.

Nobody wants that.

DISNEY A CAPPELLA Fling may host some of the most impressive musical groups on campus, such as Off the Beat and Quaker Notes, but our hearts belong to Walt. We hope they do the "Pink Elephant on Parade" song from Dumbo. Underage drinking has never been so cute.

When To Go: Friday at 1:15 p.m.

Don’t Miss: The crowd of people proudly slurring the chorus of “I'll Make a Man Out of You,” then mumbling their way through the verses.

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Only one. Everyone loves Disney, wasted or not. Except if the song’s from Tarzan. Then drink a ton. Phil Collins is shit.

HILLEL PANCAKE BREAKFAST The Jews (or, um, the entire school) have it rough this year. Passover is a total buzzkill. Luckily, Hillel knows the best way to deal with pain is through food — specifically, delicious, delicious carbs. Pour some syrup over these babies, then call your mother. She misses you.

When To Go: Saturday from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Don’t Miss: The oppressive cloud of Passover–fueled gastronomical FOMO. Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Zero! Really, Torah? Not even some Manischewitz?

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

EGO

FOR FIRST–TIME FLINGERS If you're a Fling virgin, don't stress. Let us help you make the most of your first time. It won't hurt, we promise.

BY PATRICK FORD–MATZ AND FARYN PEARL

FRIED OREOS Ask someone what happens in the Quad during Fling, and their first answer (after blacking out, fist fighting RA’s and using unlocked rooms as carpeted port–a–potties) will probably be Fried Oreos. Fat. Oil. Guilt.

What more could you want?

When To Go: All day, every day.

Don’t Miss: The FlingSafe and SPEC volunteers jumping to the front of the line for instant trans–fatty goodness.

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Three. Sober enough to keep it down, drunk enough to not hate yourself for it.

MOONBOUNCE

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

This plush palace is the perfect place to confound your inner ears and “accidentally” collapse atop your equally wasted crush. A warning though: bouncy castles may become slippery when wet… with your vomit. And other bodily fluids.

When To Go: Early. Trust us.

Don’t Miss: The exposed bare feet of everyone whose exposed bare feet you never wanted to see.

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Do everyone a favor and leave the Moonbounce for the sober people and small children.

4

MASK & WIG They close the show every year for a reason. These boys commit — to their tour, to their characters, and now, hopefully, to tradition. C’mon!

Don’t be shy! Whip them out! Sincerely, every girl on campus.

When To Go: Saturday at 5 p.m.

Don’t Miss: Do we really have to write anything here?

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Depends.

How much do you want to remember?

PHOTO BOOTH For the low, low price of your dignity, you can immortalize your drunken stupor for all of time with the Fling Photo Booth. Gather your amigos, wait in line and try to keep your eyes open.

When To Go: Whenever you're feeling a Kodak moment.

Don’t Miss: The opportunity to throw the pregame of the year. Who needs some freshman’s nasty–ass dorm room when you have a hot, closet–sized metal box equipped for all your binge–drinking needs?

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Five. Get wasted enough to take some quality shotz, but not so smashed that your tank’s covered in vom.

Nobody wants that.

DISNEY A CAPPELLA Fling may host some of the most impressive musical groups on campus, such as Off the Beat and Quaker Notes, but our hearts belong to Walt. We hope they do the "Pink Elephant on Parade" song from Dumbo. Underage drinking has never been so cute.

When To Go: Friday at 1:15 p.m.

Don’t Miss: The crowd of people proudly slurring the chorus of “I'll Make a Man Out of You,” then mumbling their way through the verses.

Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Only one. Everyone loves Disney, wasted or not. Except if the song’s from Tarzan. Then drink a ton. Phil Collins is shit.

HILLEL PANCAKE BREAKFAST The Jews (or, um, the entire school) have it rough this year. Passover is a total buzzkill. Luckily, Hillel knows the best way to deal with pain is through food — specifically, delicious, delicious carbs. Pour some syrup over these babies, then call your mother. She misses you.

When To Go: Saturday from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Don’t Miss: The oppressive cloud of Passover–fueled gastronomical FOMO. Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Zero! Really, Torah? Not even some Manischewitz?

it in the bars.

Street: What’s your favorite part of Spring Fling?

CP: I like the carnival in the Quad, personally. There’s inflatables and mechanical bulls and tons of free food. It’s my baby. My pride and joy.

KC: My baby is daytime entertainment: the two concerts in the quads.

JP: My baby is port–a–potties.

Street: If you guys went on the electric bull, who would last the longest?

KC: I would have to volunteer myself.

CP: I was really good last year. I lasted pretty long.

KC: Are your thighs that strong?

CP: I mean… I don’t know the strength of my thighs.

JP: We have two this year, so we’ll battle it out. Battle of the Bulls.

Street: What’s your spirit animal?

CP: I want it to be something cool.

KC: Me too. A unicorn. I want to be a unicorn.

Street: Why? KC: I like blood.

JP: What?!

CP: Unicorns don’t like blood! You’re a mosquito or something.

KC: Wasn’t there a unicorn in Harry Potter who drank blood…? Or what was that animal?

Street: It was Voldemort.

KC: Can I be Voldemort?

CP: You can be a snake.

KC: I’ll be a snake. No, I’ll be a serpent. Serpents are hella baller.

CP: For me… what’s an animal that’s happy all the time?

KC: Cows.

CP: Okay, my spirit animal is

not a cow.

JP: You’re really bad about this.

KC: I think she should be a cow.

CP: Cows suck.

KC: Cows are happy!

JP: Next question!

Street: You guys enter a bar.

What’s your game plan?

JP: I’m underage, so I don’t go to bars.

CP: If I were 21, I’d go straight for the alcohol.

KC: I am 21. I would still go for the bathroom.

Street: Who’s your alter ego?

JP: Katy Perry! Katy Perry!

KC: I always wanted to be that head Mean Girls girl.

JP: Regina George.

CP: You’re such a bitch!

KC: I’ve always wanted to be a bigger bitch! For me, it’s either Regina or I want to be —

hummus grill make it a feast!

have you guys watched Breaking Bad? JP: Yeah. The guys who makes the drugs?

CP: So you either want to be a drug provider or a bitch.

KC: They’re both, like, badasses.

JP: Just stick with Regina George. You’re not going to be a drug lord.

Street: Where can we find you during Spring Fling?

CP: We’ll all be very stressed.

Eating lots of candy. But when the sun goes down, Friday…

KC: We’ll be gone. We’ll be MIA. CP: We check out once the Quad closes. You’ll never see us again.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

make it a success!

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

feast special feeds 25 for only $199

place orders in advance of your event offer available exclusively online

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

EGOOF THE WEEK: CASEY PEEKS, KELLY CHEN, AND These ladies toiled endlessly to bring you the perfect Fling, JULIE PALOMBA but that doesn't mean they can't battle it out on the bulls/kill

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

FOOD&DRINK

PENN PALATE: JULIE LYZINSKI NETTLETON Want to know how to make it through Fling hangover–free? Chances are you won't, but we caught up with Penn's Director of Alcohol and Other Drug Program Initiatives to get you the info anyway.

Street: What is a hangover?

Julie Lyzinski Nettleton: A hangover is basically your body’s withdrawal from alcohol and reflective of the state that your body is in as the alcohol metabolizes out of your system. And, although common, is actually pretty unhealthy for your brain.

Street: Why does it happen?

JLN: Hangovers happen for a few different reasons, but they are mainly tied to blood alcohol content (BAC), dehydration, lactic acid build up, vitamin deficiency and lack of quality sleep.

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

Street: Why do some people get worse hangovers than others do?

JLN: Similar to how one drinks, how one’s body interprets alcohol is often due to genetics, or “training.” Students that drink heavily and do not get hangovers likely have one of two things going on. First, it can be genetic. Although this may seem like a positive thing, it actually isn’t. Hangovers act as your body’s way of saying “you’re drinking too much” and without this message, a heavy drinker may not feel the need to cut back. Second, the

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person is likely experiencing some level of hangover, just in less traditional ways. We tend to assume that having a hangover means that you have a headache, nausea, shakiness or stomach ache, but there are a lot of withdrawal symptoms such as feeling sluggish, not able to function as well cognitively (like for studying!) and more.

Basically, contrary to popular thinking, drinking heavily and not getting a hangover is not a good sign and could be an indication that someone has a drinking problem.

Street: Are there particular things we can do (foods we can eat, liquors we can avoid) to avoid a hangover?

JLN: There are lots of things that you can do to prevent a hangover and they all happen before or during your night out — the next morning is too late. Once you have a hangover, you can mask the symptoms but your body will still be in a hangover state. So, this is where science comes in: the higher your blood alcohol level, the more likely you are to get a hangover. It’s that simple.

Obviously the best way to prevent a hangover is to not drink, but if you choose to drink just

follow these steps: • Pace your drinks. Most people can only process one drink an hour, so remember that the build–up in your system is what causes your BAC to spike.

• Re–hydrate with water or other non–alcoholic, non–caffeinated beverages before, during and after drinking alcohol.

• Eat prior to drinking.

• Avoid shots — each shot is a full drink.

• Avoid punch or mixed drinks that you did not mix yourself.

They can easily contain multiple drinks in one cup (one cup does not equal one drink)!

And, yes, one cup of jungle juice alone can cause a hangover and, much worse, blackouts.

Street: What’s the ideal pre– drinking meal?

JLN: Something substantial like a meat, pizza, sandwiches, etc. Just a salad doesn’t cut it!

Also, if [students] are drinking throughout the day, they need to eat regularly, not just once at the beginning! [Check out our "Eat This, Not That: Fling Edition" for our tips on where and what to gorge on before you go bottoms up.]

Street: What about exercising? Does exercising before we drink make us more likely to end up hungover?

JLN: Exercising before you drink may dehydrate you further, so this might actually increase your blood alcohol content. Muscle is more efficient in processing alcohol than fat, due to the fact that water storage is important for reducing BAC, but one exercise session is not likely going to help. So, regardless of whether you exercise before you drink or not, it is important to follow the above steps to prevent a hangover!

Street: Can a hangover be cured?

JLN: Yes, with time or prevention! You can help it along by replenishing lost fluids and eating a meal. Exercising can help on the back end, especially if you have alcohol left in your system. And, rest is important because even though you likely slept for a long time, you did not get quality rest because your body was focusing on getting rid of the alcohol. Be aware that using acetaminophen [Tylenol] before you go to bed or when you wake up can be very harmful to your liver. Combining acetaminophen and alcohol

Student Health's Julie Lyzinski Nettleton

is very unhealthy.

Julie’s Fling–Specific Advice: • Fling is LONG, so pacing is even more important — it would be terrible to miss the concert, but being too drunk will result in exactly that!

• Remembering to hydrate throughout the day and night during Fling can be difficult due to all of the excitement and events going on. So, plan ahead and partner with a friend to help you both remember!

• Eating is really important so, again, plan ahead!

• Combining alcohol with other drugs will increase the likelihood of negative consequences.

• Avoid punch!

EAT THIS, NOT THAT: FLING EDITION

HEALTHY WON’T HELP YOU NOW

The Worst Meal: Gia Salad

Baby arugula in a 32 oz. bowl? Forget it. If you want to rally tomorrow, you’ll need to pregame elsewhere. But, if you absolutely can’t go greenless, at least add chicken.

The Best Meal: Allegro Chicken Stromboli

Bread and cheese might not look as good on your thighs as those cutoffs do, but your body will thank you for padding the fall.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

DRINK

OF THE WEEK:

THE HANGOVER Jack & Diet Coke

2 shots whiskey 1 cup diet cola 1 wedge of lime Caffeine, dark liquor and no ice? You’re on your way to a wonderful morning.

THE HELPER

Corkscrew — On the rocks 1 handful ice 1 shot vodka 1/2 cup OJ It won’t cure your hangover, but the ice and sugar will help keep you hydrated.

$

2.

22

2nd ANNIVERSARY PHO SPECIAL (Le Viet House Special Noodle Soup or Chicken Noodle Soup)

1019 S. 11th Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147 www.levietrestaurant.com 215.463.1570

@34st

Thanks to all our loyal guests and friends, we will be celebrating our 2nd anniversary. Le Viet will be running a $2.22 Pho special (Le Viet House Special Noodle Soup or Chicken Noodle Soup).

The special is only available on Saturday, April 14, 2012 from 11am­3pm.

Hurry, while supplies last!

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

We know we picked some drinks of the week, but, let's be honest, you really don't need that much help this week…

CASH ONLY. Present coupon when ordering. Not valid with any other special, coupon, or reduced price offers. Not redeemable for cash or gift card purchases. Tax, alcohol and gratuity not included. While supplies last.

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

LOL

FILM

ALTERED STATES You may have seen these movies before...but have you seen them on weeeeeedddd (and/or alcohol/other intoxicants)? Well, it’s Fling weekend, so here’s your chance. Here are some personal accounts — and some suggestions— for films that have proven to be slightly, well, different, depending on your state of mind. and Robin 97) 9 orred Batman bh (1 –a in lly b sa e o er R iv d un acher’s correct, Georg Batman an saw Joel Schum g anatomically

old, I ntribution guess) of bein As a five–year– the interest (I ost prevalent co m In ’s . it lm d fi ve e lo th d Day 2011 ht be in theaters, an then Christmas les, which mig ut pp B ni t– e. m ba d to ha nt ifica s and watch Clooney’s suit ct seemed insign cided to eat some mushroom pe as s hi T . re e caped crud I de to superhero lo course. But th le of friends an of up e, co a om d es an aw , was actors took rolled around — none of the V. Spider–Man le T ib on rr n ho ho ly at al ar on ti tered state, a superhero m seemed conven c. But in my al lm et fi l, he ca T si t. en ar ns he no and d partnership sader stole my tion was glitzy slightly charge ac ’s e in th ob y, R sl d ou an ri ought me I an their parts se this thinking br t nipples, Batm re ba e he th W g s. in le er pp id t–ni e. The point I began cons cant at the tim –pronounced ba ifi ss le gn si ly al of ic rt og so ill and Batgirl’s r. But it seemed don’t remembe or , ow s, man. kn t n’ do azy mushroom cr e m so e er w being: those 2

8 Days Later (20 02) Thou

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

gh Danny Boyle’s masterpiece may be to cause some prob the first great piec lems for our stone e of digital cinema, r on–the–go. On minute survival ho it’s certain one hand, it’s an rror story. On the exhilarating, mile–a other hand, the fear nightmare.

– it induces could tu rn Fling into a livin Picture this: you’re g in the Quad/on D elancey/out on the are people around town, when sudden you. Hundreds of ly you realize there them. Thousands you’re on Delancey even (though prob ). Having just seen ab ly not likely unless 28 Days Later, you that all the raging may or may not be hordes around you in ar cli e horrible, Rage–inf ned to believe may be intoxicated ected zombies. Of by various substanc course, while they es, Rage probably baseball bat — blun isn’t one of them. t objects are not ne So, put down your eded to repel fratty advances.

8

y Dancer” n John’s “Tin was eco lt E h it w ed “Juicy” me out, I 009) Notorious ca Girl Talk mix ce en n h si e entire W n fa g.

Notorious p(2 n e lo gi ed along to th later ot very p udo–Big n p se is ra , I a gs d n in an ee th b t, ar u I’ve heme of nd only a ye l I cared abo the grand sc e audience. A which was al estion th r, u f le q o ai I s tr — which, in l, er e b al th er mem . All in d th layed in o p ee e w y” th f o ic g u t in “J lo n . g I could da tertai static t of liquor an The only thin d how annoying/en lo y e! a el vi o at in m rn g n n te gi al film, that dam ms,” an ter enga vie again, af . But I hated ed to his mom as his “mo they just I saw the mo faculties were still intact rr fe m re criticis s — Biggie allace e W al ar ic er e h it es p cr o th y st ri at m of how ung Ch were. Not th pretensions was how a yo h sex scenes e point. My at th re g b n think about f– si o is t– m u visceral, o , that I was hilarious his it’s clear, then s ap h er P . gh made me lau r all. revealed, afte e er w m o fand

Blue Valentin e (2011) Whi

le RyGos may be stunning in Fling unless yo this heartbreak u want a seriou er, you should s comedown. B it’s troublesom avoid checking lue Valentine is e even at the be it out this not the most ch st of times, from dog (not to men ipper movie — the chin close– tion the alcoho ups during sex lism tearing ev down and poss to the death of erybody apart) ible emotional a .

In sc order to avoid arring, scratch to get really cr a solid breakthis one off yo eative with drin ur ki Fling list, unle ng game rules. any feelings of ss you manage Be warned thou nihilism/cynicis gh, Street isn’t m you may expe responsible for rience followin g Blue Valentine .

In Bully, childhood torture is exposed in order to start making positive changes across the nation

IF THEY HAVEN’T BROKEN IT, DON’T FIX IT

Bully is painful to watch. The emotionally–charged documentary follows a group of adolescents who are abused by their peers and unaided by adults. Their struggles are heartbreaking. The apathy they encounter is shocking. Bus–riding students disregard pencil–stabbings, strangling and brutal death threats while assistant principals (who might seem comedic if not for the gravity of their inaction) safeguard their consciences with sunny oblivion. Bully's footage is unflinchingly real and succeeds in evoking our empathy, and possibly, our guilt. Bully’s new PG–13 rating gives it access to its target audience, and might, with luck, lead younger viewers to grant new hope to today’s silent victims.

— Jack Nessman

Few people who have seen the original material will go to see The Three Stooges, a Farrelly Brothers adaptive consolidation of the 1930s vaudeville–turned–film comedy team. The now–21st century knuckleheads manage to save an orphanage, stop a murder and rule reality TV, all in 90 minutes.

Unfortunately, anyone interested in old–fashioned slapstick should just watch the originals. While Sean Hayes (Larry), Chris Diamontopoulos (Moe) and Will Sasso (Curly) try earnestly to capture their respective personas (and almost succeed visually), their admittedly well–researched attempts would better serve an SNL skit. They cannot sustain an hour and a half's worth of lackluster plot, poorly modernized scenarios, inane gags and corny dialogue. The film ekes out some laughs, but ultimately, the only people who deserve to be socked Stooge–style are the producers.

— Olivia Rutigliano

The Three Stooges remake is more painful than a sledgehammer to the head

FILM REVIEWS

...AND WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE ROOM IS

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

STICKS AND STONES

It’s Fling, which — depending on how self–destructive you are — has already been sort of raging for a week or so. In celebration, we decided to torture ourselves with one of the worst films ever made: Tommy Wiseau’s The Room! We played our game — the rules are below — and you can too. Check 34st.com for our full experience.

THE ROOM DRINKING GAME RULES Finish your drink when: • People are being torn apart • Johnny breaks his possessions • A CHARACTER IS ON DRUGS! • Drink as long as you can into a sex scene • Breast cancer is mentioned • Comments are put in pockets • There’s some underwear somewhere • A major BOMBshell is dropped Take a big swig whenever: • Lisa is faithful to somebody • The acting is convincing (Hint: these are rare)

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

Take a drink every time: • Someone says “Oh hai” • Johnny laughs • Lisa is a manipulative bitch • You fail to understand Johnny • You see a spoon • A football is passed (every pass) • A character fails to understand simple logic • A reaction is overplayed • Johnny is badly dubbed • Peter is called "a pussy" • Mark is a “cheepcheepcheep” • You’re fed up with the movie • There’s a panoramic shot of San Francisco • Lisa is referred to as some variant of "beautiful" • Johnny is a “great guy” • Somebody is on the roof • Johnny talks to himself • Lisa is promiscuous

9

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

Stay home from the concert and watch "Wolves in Paradise," a visually–striking documentary about Montana farmers who struggle to co–exist with wolves.

Fall asleep drunk and more alone than ever. Go to 14.

You’re enjoying Tiesto, but then, deep inside, you realize that you’re the next EDM DJ. To tell everyone about your destiny, go to 13. To play it cool, go to 14.

You tell everyone that you’re the next Tiesto. Later in the month you get a delivery from Amazon of $300 of DJ equipment. Go to 14.

Saturday morning is actually Saturday afternoon.

You Head to the petting zoo. climb The camel is suffering on the and calling out to you. camel, but then To ride it to freedom, go you almost get arto 15. To steal a bunny rested. To beg the instead, go to 18. cop not to arrest you, go to number 16. To beg the cop not to arrest you by making out with the cop, go to 17.

You try to improvise. While digging in your purse, your phone falls into the toilet. To cry, go to 8.

The cop doesn’t To play it cool, go arrest you. Go to to 9.

Good MAKE THE WEEKEND'S CRUCIAL DECISIONS AS YOU MOVE ALONG THE 19. choice!

The cop BOARD. ARE YOU GOING TO RIDE THE ZETE CAMEL TO FREEDOM? Fling is about not doesn’t make caring. You pee You’re Did you out with you, and without incident. Go hitting on know that they then doesn’t arrest to 10. your management bring extra bunnies with you. Go to 19.

TA, who, it turns out, has the expectation that drunk been “crushing on” you all kids will wander off with In year. Your TA’s saliva tastes them? Go to 19, but imagorder to Arrive at like Kosher–for–Passover ine that for the rest of the avoid your TA, an unnamed frapotato vodka, but you skate Fling adventure, you’re you go to the really ternity’s “late afternoon” through the rest of the carrying a bunny gross bathroom. But only to find a creepy old semester. Go to with you. there’s no toilet paper. If person standing around. To 10. you don’t care, go to 6, if avoid the person and move The you do care, go to 7. on, go to 21. To accost stranger the stranger and ask the wants to talk stranger to leave, about politics go to 20. and invade your Good choice, school is personal space. You for hopeless losers. At a should not have talkfun fun party, you run into ed to the strangyour Management TA. Your er. Go to 21.

Management performance You’re up on stage. Everyone’s cheering! You’re You walk to class Friday morning arrives has been mediocre. To the star of Fling! You grab the microphone and it’s boring.

At the Quad, your and your pile of Fling ignore your TA, go to and deliver a killer last verse. The crowd is You’ll get a bonus friend’s band is playtanks sit fresh on your 4. To aggressively going crazy, gathering energy and inching point on your final ing. To climb on stage, desk. But so does your 11 hit on your TA, towards violence. But as you reach that final but you’re a nerd go to 22. You don't have a a.m. Econ recitation. Do go to 5. high note, its beauty causes the audience to and won’t have fun at choice. you go to class? If yes, go gather in silent prayer. You’ve won Fling!

Fling anyway. Go to 3. to 2, if no, go to 3.

START

FINISH

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

It’s time for the concert. Unfortunately, you’re tired. To stay home, go to 11.

To go to the concert, go to 12.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

10

You’re crying on the couch, cradling your phone wrapped in the soaked DP’s you found at the person’s house. You have no idea whose house this is.

Go to 10.

You go to the Verizon Store to get a new phone. Luckily, since you’re cool, no one notices that you are coated in sweat, beer and neon. And… you’re under warranty!

Phone replaced for free. Go to 10.

11

upper quad FRIDAY, APRIL 13

1 gladiator joust 2 bungee run 3 moon bounce 4 lumpy's bbq (fried oreos) 5 souvenir table 6 water station 7 jewish renaissance project 8 penn thai 9 penn baseball 10 empty 11 vertical leap 12 fine campies

SATURDAY, APRIL 14

GUIDE lower quad FRIDAY & SATURDAY 1 j窶電ogs concessions 2 liberty concessions 3 festival food 4 photobooth (junior balcony)

Pull this out and hold onto it all weekend!

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

1 wrecking ball 2 empty 3 moon bounce 4 lumpy's bbq (fried oreos) 5 souvenir table 6 water station 7 penn band 8 hillel food booth 9 sigma nu 10 empty 11 survivor island 12 fine campies

spring fling guide

THE

spring fling guide

PAID ADVERTISEMENT FROM SPEC

DEAR STUDENTS AND GUESTS,

DEAR FLINGERS, It’s that time of year again: Spring Fling 2012 is here and we couldn’t be more excited! We hope that this year’s journey through Candyland will give you the sugar high needed to push through the final weeks of school.

We’re especially excited for the awesome, first–ever SPEC Jazz & Grooves QuadFest on Friday in the Lower Quad.

Be sure to check it out.

Whether you’re stuffing your face with all the free food at Saturday night’s Carnival or reliving your childhood memories on the moon bounce, this weekend will surely be one to remember.

Get all of your work done early so you can enjoy Penn’s most anticipated weekend and the largest student–run college festival on the East Coast. This is a time for the entire Penn community to come together for one last hoorah before summer.

We’re thrilled and honored to have the opportunity to plan Penn’s most treasured weekend alongside our fellow directors from SPEC Concerts.

We would like to give a special thanks to our awesome committee, especially our sub–chairs. Thanks for all your hard work!

YOUR SPRING FLING DIRECTORS, KELLY CHEN JULIE PALOMBA CASEY PEEKS

Spring Fling marks a point in the academic year when the entire undergraduate community comes together in a last joyous hurrah. It is also a time when friendships are formed and indelible memories are made. For two days, Penn is one in body, spirit and purpose.

We, the Social Planning and Events Committee (SPEC), are proud to provide these types of events to students throughout the year.

Safety is of utmost importance at this year’s Fling. At a time when thousands of students simultaneously scramble for fried Oreos, tackle inflatable obstacle courses and step into the spotlight on a myriad of stages, it is necessary to be aware of any unsafe circumstances. We encourage you to enjoy Fling for what it is, not for the behavior that it can elicit. FlingSafe committee members, donning safety green T–shirts, will be

available throughout the weekend to ensure your safety – they are there to help and are a great resource to seek out.

SPEC’s directors are exceptional undergraduates who dedicate their time and effort to events that shape your time at Penn. Furthermore, none of our nine committees would exist without the unwavering support of its dedicated members — their efforts make all of SPEC’s events possible and we would like to express a fond thank you to them.

FLING ON,

SHANA RUSONIS LILUN LI JOSH OPPENHEIMER DENNIS JOHNSON

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

FLING COMMITTEE Angel Chen Aya Hiraoka Bilan Haji–Mohamed Binh Nguyen Boyu Ma Carolina Angel Christianne Johnson Crystal Ma Debbie Ly Erica Ma Evan Nazareth Eza Koch Faeza Asvat Gabriel Jimenez George Li Jasmine Payne Jenny Lu Jerusalem Girmay Jessica McCurry

Karla Molina Kate Ham Katherine Kelly Kayleigh Smoot Lindsay Koller Margot Weiss Meghan Labasky Melissa Kantrowitz Melissa Levy Michelle Chen Nikita Singh Rachel Chin Rachel Marc Rayven–Nikkita Collins Rissa Papillion Saffa Khan Shilpa Kannan Vilair Feristin

SPECIAL THANKS Ajay Nair Aly Yarris April Herring Chipotle Cpt. Jerry Leddy Dave Kerr Denise Kemmel Derek Hunsberger Dunkin Donuts Facilities Staff Jan Kee–Scott John Cook Julie Lyzinski Karu Kozuma

Katie Hanlon–Bonner Kris Kealy Larry Moses Laura Carney Laura Harcourt Lynn Moller Marilynne Diggs–Thompson Marty Redman MERT Nancy McCue Office of Student Affairs Pamela Robinson Paul Forchielli Peggy Kowalski

Penn Art Club Penn Traditions Perelman Quad Randy Boczkowski Rodney Robinson Sarah L. McFarlane Sidney Toombs Stacey Woodson Tom Reda Un–Buttoned Utsav Schurmans VPUL

COLLEGE GREEN FRIDAY, 5:30-7:30PM

• Free giveaways from Penn Traditions

• Free hot dogs, soft pretzels and beverages

• Music by Defcast & Letta

spring fling guide

FLINGER FOOD

• Sponsored by SPEC and Penn Traditions

HILLEL WEEK

THURSDAY 9–10:30AM: THURSDAY 10AM–1PM: Pick SATURDAY 10–11PM: up your free "Fling It" sweatPre-Fling dairy Kosher– for–Passover brunch in the bands at the Hillel table on the walk Berkowitz living room

Break Passover with pancakes at the SPEC Carnival

FRIDAY AND SATURDAY: FREE Kosher–for–Passover food at booth in the Quad

STUDY UP We all hate feeling left out when everyone else at the concert seems to know all the words to every song, and we’re left bobbing our heads and trying to look like we’re in on it too. Here are some lesser–known songs that this year’s performers will most likely play — study up so you can be that person who makes other people feel bad.

BY JOE PINSKER

(feat. Kay)” rd a H y la P , rd a H “Work Luciana)” t. a e (f t h ig N e th “We Own rs” “Chasing Summe (feat. Dino)” “Beautiful World to Remix)” s ie (T e is d ra a P “ Coldplay’s

PASSION PIT “I’ve

Got Your N umber” “Smile Up on Me” “Better Th ings” “To Kingd om “Folds in Y Come” our Hands ”

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

TIESTO

spring fling guide

SATURDAY, APRIL 14TH

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

FRIDAY, APRIL 13TH quadfest

LOWER QUAD

lineup

12:15-12:40 ............................................................. silk city 12:40-1:05 ........................................................ mrstn & ase 1:05-1:35 ................................................slow dance chubby 2:00-2:40 ................................................................... reptar 3:00-3:45 .............................................................sun airway 4:00-4:45 .......................................................body language 5:05-6:00 ..............................................................dâm-funk

UPPER QUAD 12:00-12:15 ....................................................penny loafers 12:25-12:40...................................................... penn karma 12:50-1:05 .............................................west philly swingers 1:05-1:30 .....................................................disney a capella 1:40-1:55.............................................................penn masti 2:05-2:20 ............................................................upper west 2:30-2:45.......................................................bloomers band 2:55-3:15.......................................................glee club band 3:25-3:40 ............................................................onda latina 3:50-4:10 ..........................................the power-pop rangers 4:20-4:40 ..........................................................counterparts 4:50-5:05............................................................upenn yalla 5:15-5:35 .........................................................quaker notes 5:45-6:00...............................................................pennaach

LOWER QUAD 12:00-12:15 ........................................................deuce-tre's 12:25-12:40 ...................................................the mirrormen 12:50-1:10 .................................................yes and the nose 1:20-1:40 ..........................................................penn samba 1:50-2:10 ...........................................................mocha bear 2:20-2:40............................................................the devonvs 2:50-3:10 ....................................................english patients 3:20-3:40............................................................ fat panther 3:50-4:15 ..............................................................red giants 4:25-4:50..........................................................silent shapes 5:00-6:00..........................................the mask and wig band

UPPER QUAD

12:00-12:15....................................................the inspiration 12:25-12:40 ............................................................dischord 12:50-1:05 ...................................................................j–boy 1:15-1:30 ..................................................................ivy sole 1:40-1:55....................................................christian gallopo 2:05-2:20 ...........................................................strictly funk 2:55-3:10 .............................................................penn hype 3:20-3:35 ..........................................................dj sexybeats 3:45-4:00........................................pan–asian dance troupe 4:10-4:30 ...........................................................off the beat 4:40-4:45 ...............................................................dhamaka

CARNIVAL

COLLEGE GREEN SATURDAY, APRIL 14TH, 8 PM–12 AM

1 pat's cheese steaks 2 chipotle 3 call me cupcake (truck) 4 sugar philly (truck) 5 magic carpet 6 dj sega 7 mechanical bulls 8 water station 9 cotton candy 10 moon bounce 11 dunkin' donuts 12 hillel pancake breakfast

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

MUSIC

YOUR GUIDE TO THE (REALLY OBSCURE BUT REALLY AWESOME) BANDS AT QUADFEST We’ll be the first to admit we'd never heard of Reptar before looking at this lineup, but we’ll also be the first to tell you how freaking good they are. Read ahead for a complete guide to navigating the fine acts brought to you by SPEC Jazz & Grooves for Fling Friday. BY FRIDA GARZA REPTAR

SUN AIRWAY

Who: Vaguely tropical, ridiculously catchy indie rock; they sound like the Local Natives on uppers.

What time: 2:00 to 2:40 What that means in Fling Standard Time: You just set foot into Lower Quad, spiked lemonade in hand. The day is all sparkling and new and teeming with possibilities, like a newborn baby unicorn.

Should you go: Absolutely. These tunes will make you feel as fresh as the not–yet–soiled grass beneath your feet.

Shake off your inhibitions (and shoes) and dance like you don’t give a what.

Before you go: Listen to “Stuck in my Id”

Who: Philadelphia–based chillwave rockers with a penchant for moody lyrics.

What time: 3:00 to 3:45 What that means in Fling Standard Time: You gave in. You ate one fried Oreo. You ate two more fried Oreos. The self–hatred sets in.

Then the nausea.

Should you go: Yes, but not if you’re likely to fall victim to a mid–day food coma. Sun Airway is surprisingly heavy on the “chill” factor — if you pass out in the Quad grass during the show, it won't make too much of a difference.

Before you go: Listen to “Put the Days Away”

BODY LANGUAGE

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

Who: Brooklyn electro–pop quartet that blends psychedelic and funk elements into accessible dance tunes.

What time: 4:00 to 4:45 What that means in Fling Standard Time: You’ve moonbounced yourself dry. You suddenly become distinctly aware of how early it is. How many hours until the concert again?

Should you go: Uh, YES. This is the perfect way to rally for Franklin Field concert. Grab another drink and then whet your appetite for Passion Pit with these synth–lovin’, hip– shakin’ maniacs.

Before you go: Listen to “Social Studies” (and pay close attention to the kickass chorus).

DÂM–FUNK (pronounced "Dame Funk")

Exp. 4/19/2012 Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp.

For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 12

Who: L.A.’s “Ambassador of Boogie Funk.” Interested? We are.

What time: 5:00 to 6:00 What that means in Fling Standard Time: Started Fling Friday a little early and went a little too hard in the Quad? Your bed’s going to be calling out to you for a pre–concert power nap.

Should you go: If you're not in need of a strategic nap, hop on this boogie train to cap your afternoon, but don't feel too bad if you don't make it to this one.

Before you go: Listen to “Fantasy” and just, like, open your mind, man.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

FUCK YEAAAA SLEEPYHEAD ROXXX

did they invent new colors...?

my ears feel so happy

sober

h

g hi

passion pit

8

ST

DO YOU PAY PER VIEW? Film polled you to find out how you are getting your Sunday afternoon movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN

T

hough we all know the Internet is for porn (thanks Avenue Q), the bedroom is no longer the only area being ceded to digital territory. For every girl with daddy’s AmEx, window browsing on Fifth Avenue has been replaced with online shopping. And FYEs everywhere have virtually been rendered useless (pun intended) with the existence of the multifarious iTunes store.

Things are no different here at Penn, where the Rave gets nearly half the traffic for the midnight screenings of blockbuster hits like Twilight as Hulu does the day after the newest episode of 30 Rock airs. This makes sense. We Penn students are too busy procrastinating on Penn InTouch and designing funny lacrosse pinnies for the clubs we’re involved in to leave the comfort of our beds to

why doesn't

watch Hugo infield theaters. And we franklin fit this mold of overworked Ivy have wawa?

League students well, with only about 17% of Penn undergrads watching movies at the Rave every semester.

But how about the other stereotype, the one that says all college students are poor? The free movement of information made possible by the interweb makes

yougoing guess to then that Penn stuwawa... dents would prefer L8R guys to get their RomCom fix online with free streaming websites like SideReel and Ch131 rather than pay for services provided by Netflix and Redbox?

While 75% of us watch movies online, nearly 50% pay for it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a new release on iTunes — is hysterical, but is Whose recommendations do you take? it worth the 50 1.5 salads at 47.7% Other Sweetgreen 40% 40 A Friend it would vom.

Cinema Studies have cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% I had seen it Professor or TA 20 this is too in theaters?

Street loud Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were allowed to choose more dles aren’t PTFO than one option.

0 that bad, I guess. entertainment accessible and The average Penn student inexpensive to anyone with an (who is anything but average, if AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch-

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47.7%

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es seven mov every semeste tic proves tha to watch said than at the R tional $20 les of popcorn a not included tions). The lo ing seven mo less than 30 b many conven paid services ing interrup buffering and immunity to and most imp ing to wait watching 72 m on Megavideo Not to me price to pay the big pictur savings of th students who services rather movie theater tween $196,1 depending on Netflix or iT Moral of the judge if you ju

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

GENERAL LEVEL OF HAPPINESS

drunk

34

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

FILM IS YOUR FLING ON DRUGS. THIS IS YOUR FLING. THIS

*A simple of 100 Penn surveyed to c 13 their film vie

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

TIËSTO: Ä SPÖTTËR'S GÜÏDË How to act like a true fan during the Fling Concert. (Hint: when in doubt, look to your neighbor.)

BY SAM BRODEY

“Carpe Noctum”

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

Low–key bassline throughout the song, sweeping synth and lots of WHOOSH noises

“Maximal Crazy”

Grungy synth lines coupled with a traditionally throbbing club beat and some flourishes here and there

“Zero 76”

Whining synth over a steady bassline

“What Can We Do”

One of his few tracks with sustained lyrics

A FILM FESTIVAL for MUSIC FANS

14

HOW YOU CAN RECOGNIZE IT

SONG

WHAT THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU WILL BE DOING

LYRICS?

No lyrics.

"Like this, like that," and WOO at the drop

No lyrics

Lyrics, of the typical corny Euro house music variety

HOW SICK IS THE DROP?

Arms raised to receive the Ibizan Gods of Dance Music

8/10: Almost as good as sex.

Pumping fists, Jersey Shore–style

6/10: Everyone around you is gonna go fucking nuts

Jumping up and down like someone on drugs… oh, wait…

5/10: It’s really good, but not life–alteringly awesome

7/10: This gift of a drop kicks in at the very end of the track.

Somewhere between cheeseburgers and sex.

Grinding. And it ain’t pretty.

Showcasing contemporary rockumentaries, musician biopics, and movies defined by great soundtracks.

20 FILMS 4 DAYS

Most Screenings on Penn Campus at the Annenberg Center for Performing Arts!

ANNENBERG, ZELLERBACH: 8:00

Thursday, April 26

WORLD CAFE LIVE: 9:00

Friday, April 27

Saturday, April 28

BIG EASY EXPRESS

GIRL WALK // ALL DAY

Follows EDWARD SHARPE & THE MAGNETIC ZEROS, OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW, and MUMFORD & SONS train trek from Oakland to New Orleans for their 2011 tour.

Live dance party and film screening featuring this feature length music video for GIRL TALK’S latest album.

Sponsored by Philebrity.com.

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

TLA: MIDNIGHT

Featuring a live interactive shadow cast from theater troupe TRANSYLVANIAN NIPPLE PRODUCTIONS.

Sunday, April 29

ANNENBERG, ZELLERBACH: 7:30 PM

UNDER AFRICAN SKIES Chronicles PAUL SIMON’S return to South Africa to perform a concert celebrating the 25th Anniversary of Graceland.

Pay Just $8 Per Screening With Student ID!

FILM LIST AND TICKETS AT XPN.ORG

ARTS

SENSATION

Spice up your weekend with some Brazilian culture, featured in a one–of–a–kind, multimedia exhibit at Arthur Ross Gallery. BY ISABEL OLIVERES Samba Sassao: Afro-Brazilian Art and Film

Arthur Ross Gallery 220 S. 34th St. Tues.–Fri., 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Sat.–Sun., 12–5 p.m.

Now–7/29 Free

tensions of Brazil’s colonized history make an appearance in works like Candido Portinari’s Catequesque, which shows a lighter–skinned priest forcibly indoctrinating a group of dark–skinned youths, whip in hand.

Eight screens project different aspects of Brazil’s cinema and culture while also linking together the artwork on display. One reel, for example, explains the relationship between the 70s blockbuster Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands with the painting A Viuva Inconsolavel (The Inconsolable Widow) by Sergio Vidal da Rocha.

"Samba Sessao" brings the musical, eclectic and vibrant aspects of art in Brazil right to your doorstep. So put your pinnie on, down a caipirinha and samba your way down to the Arthur Ross Gallery.

Drunk art shows? Count us in.

Rosa de Samba by Heitor dos Prazeres

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34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

When I say “Fling,” you say “Art Gallery”!

“Fling!”

“Art Gallery!”

Wait, what?

Normally, we art folk would advise against having “festive” college students prance around a serene art exhibit, but the new show at the Arthur Ross gallery — right next to Fisher Fine Arts — begs us to make an exception. “Samba Sessao: Afro–Brazilian Art and Film” highlights the creativity and the pulsating spirit of people who descended from Africa to Brazil during the 20th century. Highly–saturated colors fill the gallery, so your bro–tank will compliment the artwork.

Whether working in the fields or ta.king part in spiritual ceremonies, Afro–Brazilians' spirits are truly inspirational, particularly in light of their tumultuous experience as New World slaves. The unique syncretism of European, indigenous and African cultures is present from exuberant people running through the rain in Maria Auxiliadora’s Chuva Sobre Sao Paulo to the rural tranquility of Jose Antonio da Silva’s Cafe Fiel. Yet the deep–seated

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

LOL

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

S U P M A C GEMS PEACE SYMBOL (1967)

BY LIN ZHENG Looking for a chill, yet historically pertinent, picnic or nap location this weekend? Forget Robert Indiana’s LOVE statue and Claes Oldenburg’s Split Button — way too cliche. Right outside Van Pelt stands Peace Symbol, a sculpture with quite a history that serves as an emblem of and a witness to student activism during the Vietnam War. Designed in a 1967 collaborative project between Penn fine arts students and former sculpture professor Robert Engman, the simple but evocative sculpture served as a base camp in the late 60s and early 70s for students to unite and hold anti–war demonstrations and petition drives.

They were furiously determined to change the mind of the University

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administration, who had refrained from taking an official stance on America’s military involvement in the conflict. Another more tragic event that occurred in front of Peace Symbol in 1996 was the death by self– immolation of political activist Kathy Change, whose site–specific act recalled the last stands made by Buddhist monks and nuns in Vietnam.

The current generation of Quakers might consider peace signs to be less meaningful and hackneyed due to overuse, but the Peace Symbol on our campus has weathered the years and still retains the weight of its universal message despite its seemingly delicate structure.

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34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

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Chalk full of cocaine, love triangles, nakey people and more cocaine, Quadramics hosts a midnight performance this Friday that you can definitely Fling with. Tickets are available on the Walk.

Tom McQuaid C’13 Maddy Dopico C’13 as Burrs as Queenie

Jesse Franklin C’14 Jess Dignam C’12 as Kate as Black Street: We hear this show’s pretty raunchy. Do tell.

Jesse Franklin: I’ll leave this to you, Jess…

Jess Dignam: I mean I snort coke (fake coke, don’t worry!) on stage like 3 times…

Tom McQuaid: I abuse Maddy. Theatrically. BUT spousal abuse isn’t cool! I don’t endorse spousal abuse.

Maddy Dopico: In this show I am loved, abused, courted and loved again — graphically, and in front of the entire audience.

I was also told something about someone wearing a lingerie jumper?

Street: Did you invite your parents? On a scale of one to scandalized…

TM: 12.

JF: I invited my parents and my grandparents. They know I’ll be naked and they can’t wait. Awkward.

MD: My parents, little brother and grandparents are coming.

My father seemed to be fine with we me dressed in a corset as a man–eating plant last year…

JD: I invited them. And didn’t warn them about anything.

Whoops!

Street: Choose one line from the show that best describes your character.

JF: “I’ll be here.”

JD: “Give me a bottle of bourbon and half a chicken and I’ll CONQUER THE WORLD!” TM: “A handsome devil…”

(The rest doesn’t matter.)

MD: “Who’s wrong, who’s right — I’ve never known.”

Street: What would it take to win most valuable audience member at the midnight show?

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the midnight show.

Street: What’s the wildest party you’ve ever been to?

JF: I’m afraid blacking out has prevented me from remembering the wildest party I’ve ever been to. (Ironic that my character’s name is Black…)

JD: Every Quadramics party I’ve ever attended!!!

TM: EVERY QUADRAMICS PARTY!!!!!!!!

MD: This show is the wildest party I’ve ever been to! Don’t miss it or you’re missing out!

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

La Fontana Della Citta

JF: Nudity. I’m not joking.

JD: Bow to me after I sing.

Worship me, and your heart shall live forever.

TM: Someone who knew all of the choreography and did it in the aisle like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls.

MD: Someone who can combine the energy of a vaudeville dancer, a clown, a prostitute, a slick club bouncer and a gang of crazy characters all in one… while sporting a flapper hair cut and bringing me a cup of coffee and slice of pizza before

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Y THE WILD PART

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012 18

LOWBROW

Illicit substance of choice Concert seating

FRESHMAN SOPHOMORE Fratty Light EE

Copa Margs

Floor Pass

Best part of Fling

Fried Oreos

"Visiting my old room in Butcher!"

Got your Fling tank with…

Your Hall

Your Frat

PTFO'd in…

…your friend's room in Hill

…the bathroom of Jimmy Johns

Woke up…

Fling song

…in your clothes Asher Roth's "I Love College"

…naked

Fall Out Boy's "Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year"

JUNIOR

SENIOR

Weed

Molly

On Stage

HUP

LinDin at Commons

Losing your Virginity

Your Off– Campus Haus

Your Exclusive Listserv

…your ex's bed

…DRL

…with some…handcuffed one who and missing grades your your wallet quizzes Anything by Slow Dance Chubby

Vitamin C's "Graduation"

Front: Dude…

Back: …Pull my flinger Front: Hey, I just met you Back: And this is maximal crazy Front: We put the ë in Tiësto!

Back: Higher, and higher and higher!

Front: I’m with Drunk Back:

I’m with Sleepyhead

Front: We can be your Little Secrets Back: Shiksas 2012

PEOPLE TO SHOUT OUT 1. That kid who stinks up the classroom with his McDonald’s bacon–egg–and– cheese every Tuesday and Thursday.

2. The pregnant Copa hostess that never remembers who came through the door first.

3. The only bouncer at Smoke’s who asks for a legit second form of identification.

4. The kids who fall asleep in the VP carrels when you really need one.

5. Allegro’s, for having “whenever I feel like it” hours.

6. Your roommate who sleeps with the lights on.

8. All the people on campus having more sex than you are.

shoutouts@34st.com or through the shoutout box at underthebutton.com by april 16th

9. Your Molly dealer who couldn’t deliver before Fling because he had a problem set due.

34TH STREET Magazine April 12, 2012

7. Douchey trust–fund babies who set the market price of Fling floor passes at $800.

send your shoutouts to

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

FAILED FLING TANKS

10. The Russian Lowbrow editor from Brooklyn.

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FLING SCAVENGER HUNT Find the following, and remember: pix or it didn’t happen.

Find someone’s stashed–away alcohol in a bush in the Quad Find someone neither wearing neon nor a frat shirt, drunk Find someone to race in the obstacle course 14 times straight (Bonus Points for not waiting in line) Passover Challenge: find someone to eat fried Oreos with Lose and then find your friends at the overcrowded downtowns tonight Find someone in Van Pelt Photobomb five different sorority pics Mix and steal yourself fancy drinks from three different Quad rooms Find a freshman getting drunk for the first time. It’s NSO, right?

Find a random kid from your class passed out Get drunk in your Friday lecture, drinking for every empty seat Find someone wearing a FlingSafe shirt, drunk Find fresh blood: hook up with a visitor (Bonus Points for prospective students) Just find your friends

our y d Sen photos . t g Flin go@34s to e com.