April 10, 2014

April 10, 2014 34st.com

the

FLING survey

april 10 LOL

AROOMWITHOUTAROOFFROMTHEEDITOR

2014 3 HIGHBROW word on the street, overheard at penn, round up of flings past

4 EGO

ego of the week, fling survival guide, if/then fling

LOL

LOL

LOL

6 MUSIC

meet tate gale, album reviews

8 FEATURE

FLING FLING FLING

12 FILM

religious films, what to watch and where

14 FOOD & DRINK

drunchie of the week, flasking, on campus mixers

LOL

LOL

16 ARTS

fling logos through the ages, drugs and creativity

18 LOWBROW

fling alternatives, overheards, senior society chalking

20 BACKPAGE

in defense of fling

Thx, LCE, 4 the fake Penn card ;)

Street is mad. Street is very mad.

Street was denied press passes for the SPEC Spring Fling concert and THEN Street found out that Penn was flipping everything we know and love about Fling upside down with its rules and threats and undercover officers who may or may not be hot girls with fake PennCards.

But then Street (I) walked to the art museum along the Schuylkill River Trail and the sun was shining and people were rollerblading and it was just so frickin’ hard to be anything but effervescently happy. Spring has sprung and it feels so good. I am not even close to one of those “happy” people but this winter was never– ending, Game of Thrones status and the fact that it’s over feels like a goddamn miracle.

This doesn’t change the facts about what we have coming for us this weekend (see the back page for our response to the upgraded police activ-

ity), but it does serve as a reminder that we still have a lot to enjoy. We can enjoy wearing our fling tanks without a second layer! We can enjoy having circulation in our hands while we hold cold drinks (perhaps non–alcoholic ones, but still)! We can enjoy endless remixes of Pharell William’s “Happy”! And we will be happy, even if the Liquor Control Board forces it to be a remixed version.

Fling is our pride and joy as Penn students. It is the only ammunition we have to make our state–school friends feel even vaguely jealous of our social lives. We will never give that up and we don’t have to. Have fun, be safe and enjoy the warm weather. You’ve earned it.

WE DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE DRUNK IF YOU'RE PROTESTING IF YOU HAVE TWO WOODEN LEGGIES IF YOU DON'T GOT TOES IF YOU DON'T GO HERE IF YOU HATE FUN

THE FLING MEETING | 4015 WALNUT, 6:30 PM

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Chloe Bower, Editor–in–Chief Patrick Ford-Matz, Managing Editor Abigail Koffler, Digital Director Margot Halpern, Design Editor Sarah Tse, Photo Editor Byrne Fahey, Assistant Design Ling Zhou, Assistant Design Conor Cook, Assistant Photo Julia Liebergall, Highbrow Alex Sternlicht, Highbrow Nicole Malick, Ego Randi Kramer, Ego Emily Marcus, Food and Drink Ryan Zahalka, Food and Drink 2

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Cassandra Kyriazis, Film and TV Casey Quackenbush, Film and TV Michelle Ma, Features Zacchiaus McKee, Features Ariela Osuna, Music Lucy Hovanisyan, Music Ciara Stein, Arts Molly Collett, Arts Emma Soren, Lowbrow Patrick Del Valle, Lowbrow Marley Coyne, Backpage Emily Johns, Copy Clare Lombardo, Copy Justin Sheen, Copy

Alyssa Berlin, Web Producer Katie Hartman, Web Producer Giulia Imholte, Web Producer Lauren Greenberg, Social Media Sophia Fischler-Gottfried, Assistant Social Media Rosa Escandon, Multimedia COVER DESIGN: Margot Halpern BACKPAGE DESIGN: Byrne Fahey Contributors: Joanna Glum, Solomon Bass, Morgan Pearlman, Faryn Pearl, Charles Davis, Diane Bayeux, Carolyn Grace, Anna Garson, Rochelle Shen

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Chloe Bower, Editor–in–Chief, at bower@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "When I'm not here, I'm a mothafuckin weirdo!" ©2014 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday

HIGHBROW

It’s 1 a.m. on Thursday morning and I’m sandwiched between a mirrored wall and four drag queens at a booth in an empty gay bar. Although the show’s over, Ann Artist’s blonde wig, adorned with ivy and twigs, remains pinned to her head. Pretty Girl smokes a Newport through her white latex mask and painted black teeth, while Johnny Patches has traded Luna LaVey’s “cunty” black wig for their half–shaved purple hair. Similarly, Icon Ebony–Fierce is male–bodied for the night.

As I rest my head on Ann Artist’s black faux fur coat, I’m almost crying. The tears clawing at my eyes aren’t a consequence of the smoke–laced air.

No, I’m crying because Johnny Patches, Ann Artist, Icon Ebony–Fierce, Pretty Girl and the other drag queens I’ve encoun-

wordonthestreet

DRAG ME TO HEAVEN BY ALEXANDRA STERNLICHT tered in writing my final piece for ENGL 145 have the balls— albeit tucked—to do what I could never do: completely, to the dark core of my suburban white girl body, be myself.

An hour ago at Tabu, Luna casts Wiccan spells, mouthing the words to the “House of the Rising Sun,” teasing and stripping with an eroticism that Penn girls can only dream of. As Luna mouths “I’m going back to wear that ball and chain,” they violently flip their wig off, revealing Johnny’s slick violet hair beneath. Without hesitating, Johnny continues to run their hands down their body, massaging everything from Luna’s nude bra to the neatly scrolled

“everything was beautiful and nothing hurt” tattoo wrapped between the top of Luna’s tights and Johnny’s belly button.

That’s what drag is: the place where Johnny expresses the two people living inside of them; the place where Johnny reaches the harmony of the male and female energy that drives our existence; the place where Johnny makes people “not in the social norm feel in the social norm.”

And yet, most people would not admit to their social abnormality, especially not with a “devil worshipping” drag queen. No, people want drag queens to prance around the stage to Brittany Spears and Demi Lovato, stuffing crum-

THEROUNDUP PSA: This Round Up has been forced to relocate to the Roxxy by the Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement. Fling may be taking on a new (read: lame) appearance this year, but, luckily, Highbrow will remain its honest self, protected by the lawyers of the Daily Pennsylvanian. Whether you’re headed to Camden, New Jersey or Lit Ultra Bar, we are here for you. You may be broke, but at least you can fill your wallet with gossip. Read it and weep, bitches.

First, let’s take a moment to appreciate dumb freshmen for making Fling even worse—and no, we didn’t even think that was possible. Highbrow hears that the always informative Class of 2017 Facebook group started a rumor that Ware residents were posing as RAs and taking alcohol from students’ rooms. The cyber ruckus caused mayhem in the Quad, as little teeny freshmen ran around, hiding their alcohol in every nook, cranny and empty Gatorade bottle. But no, the spastic frosh freakout was quelled by the Ware House dean, who informed the residents that his army of GAs and RAs were not swiping residents’ alc. Well done, you idiots.

This is your first Fling and you’ve already fucked it up? You actually are an embarrassment to this school. Do better.

A gaggle of LGBTQQIAA+ers nearly had asthma attacks at the Carriage Senior Society initiation last week. Sources say that the new members were forced to perform physical acts, such as planks, leap frog and crab walks. For their efforts, they were rewarded with a special kind of hydration. What’s worse than shots of Banker’s, you may ask? Shots of Bankers with a heaping topping of glitter. Congrats on your initiation, Spokes, and may your poop shine bright in the Huntsman toilets.

This past weekend had one frat bro singing “Good Morning, Baltimore!” After traveling to the City of Crab Cakes and Murder to hang with his alumni mentor, this pledge consumed a few too many adult beverages, ultimately blacking out.

Likewise, the alum woke up with niether recollection of the night, nor any idea where his little bro went. In this Hangover 5: Baltimore Edition, the alum finally found his mentee alive and hooked up to an IV in a local hospital. Maybe next time he’ll wear a leash.

pled singles into their fake tits.

They want cheap thrills. Not performance art.

But after the show, squeezed into an empty, windowless bar, Pretty Girl, Ann Artist and Luna LaVey are the social norm.

Ann raises her chipped black nails as RuPaul’s “Supermodel” interrupts Johnny’s story about spitting on Adam Lambert.

“That’s my problem with [name redacted]—she went on RuPaul and said ‘drag means dressing up as a woman.’” Ann’s soft voice fills with frustration, “That’s not what drag means!

It means expressing yourself in a way that you can’t in the everyday.”

Icon Ebony–Fierce chimes in

over heard PENN at

Indian 1: Dude, I heard he Frenched her.

Indian 2: What does that even mean?

Indian 3: Indians these days...

Rich girl: Wait, your gardener speaks English? You are so lucky!

excitedly, “It’s all about the illusion and the illusion could be anythinggg.”

“It has nothing to with sex, it has nothing to with gender, it has nothing to do with any of that shit!” Ann pauses as Johnny nods their head in agreement, “It has everything to do with the fact you don’t do this in your normal day.”

Ann puffs on her cigarette, staring vacantly at her smoke clouded reflection in the mirrored wall. “So, who are you inside?”

For me, drag is an aspiration.

No, I don’t want to literally become a drag queen or king, but one day I will be able to shake off the wig carefully pinned to my head and rip the lace leotard from my tired frame. One day, I, too, will be Luna LaVey. I will release the outsider pounding at her rib–caged prison.

FLING FLANG FLUNG

Remember when Fling used to happen? Remember when the Round Up was actually mean? Highbrow looks back on the Fling gossip of Street’s archives.

2001: - “Magic mushrooms: You’re ‘not allowed’ to drink in the Quad. Let there be fungus among us.”

2005: - “SPEC loses over $37,000 over Spring Fling weekend. Citizen Cope [one of the year's headliners] stole it.”

Desperate female: He’s in Phi Psi, that mean’s he’s marriage material.

2007: - “a well–known, orange TriDelt junior was spotted dragging the reigning BMOC home by hand for what looked to be a mid–afternoon delight” - “To Ben Folds & Third Eye Blind: How’d you convince SPEC it’s still 1997?”

Girl in Commons: I turn down for teenage pregnancy, is that a sin?

2009: -“Guster, the opening act, allegedly snorted lines of protein powder, perhaps convinced it was a more potent white substance”

Drunk freshman girl: The bouncer from Blarney won’t stop texting me.

2010: -“How much coke does one have to snort to handle 24 hours of fist–bumping?”

-“OZ junior poured three beers on a Theos pledge and then spit on him” A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

3

EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: MUHGA ELTIGANI

This cultural maven dabbles in art, religion and theater—and still has time to be a triple major. She stage managed, acted and directed for the African American Art Alliance, is the former prez of the Muslim Student Association and promotes interfaith dialogue with PRISM. Damn, girl.

Street: PRISM stands for Programs in Religion Interfaith and Spiritual Matters. What does interfaith mean to you?

Muhga Eltigani: Interfaith is not only understanding each other, but listening to each other so that we can move forward together.

Street: Do you know what you’re doing next year?

ME: Yes, I’m working for Venture for America. It’s a fellowship for two years and

you work for a start up.

Then after two years, they help you build your own business in an impoverished community. Their motto is, “Smart people should build things.” (Ed. note: props for having your life together.)

Street: We’ve heard about the ARCH Cultural Centers: what does Makuu do?

ME: It’s a resource center. We promote anything that has to do with black culture.

These cultural centers are a space where people feel most comfort-

BE IN HAVANA BY GRADUATION Brunch ★ Lunch ★ Dinner ★ Latin Floorshows

able.

Sometimes, not even places like CAPS are able to meet their needs. It’s a support system.

Street: Tell us about your YouTube hair channel!

ME: I had really long hair. For a long time, I felt like it defined me too much.

It was past my waist.

It was thick. I cut it to my shoulders and then, because of that struggle I had, I made video diaries, and so many people related. My whole thing was using all natural products, so I would make my own shampoo and conditioner.

(Ed. note: Want to learn more? youtube.com/ PictureMeNatural) Street: When did you pierce your nose?

ME: My mom was

very adamant about me not getting my nose pierced.

So right after high school graduation, I called her and I said I got my nose pierced, but I didn’t!

And she was just, like, “Oh, okay.” So I actually went to go get it.

Street: What is your guilty pleasure?

ME: Cookies. I would literally just eat Insomnia Cookies and that would be my meal. All day every day. I don’t get sick from too much sugar like most people, so I have to hold back, man.

Street: What kind of chocolate chip to cookie ratio do you look for in a cookie?

ME: I like a good mix, like it has to have a good amount

of chocolate chips, but if it’s too many chocolate chips it’s like a candy bar, and that’s not what I want.

Street: If you could live anywhere on the planet, where would it be and why?

ME: South Africa.

In Durban. Specifically, there’s this one highway that we’d pass, and for like five seconds you see the whole town of Durban. And it’s just, those five seconds are just the best time every morning.

Street: What were you doing in South Africa?

ME: I went with another Penn student and then like three PhD students and we just went and studied Zulu there.

Street: Can you say something in Zulu?

ME: Yeah! Sanibona! NginguMuhga wakwaEltigani.

Ngiphuma eSudan. Manje, ngihlala ePhiladelphia.

[Translation: Hi, My name is Muhga Eltigani. I was born in Sudan and now I live in Philadelphia.]

Street: My PennCard looks like...

ME: Brand new, because I got a brand new one. It’s my eleventh one.

Street: First AIM screenname?

ME: babyblu4eva.

And then my sister got babyblu4eva2.

I was just like, why would you do that?

Street: Is blue your favorite color?

ME: Yeah. Fo’eva.

Mishaps are bound to happen. Let us help you be prepared.

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3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4

Nominee

You get caught pregraming in your Quad room...

Your best bud gets too drunk...

THEN...

Try and ask them not to. If they insist, ask them to get a hotel room. If they beg to stay with you, say fine, but that you might get too drunk to deal with them. Set them loose.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

You were in there and someone handed you a cup and you didn’t know what was in it so you tasted it and liked it so you kept drinking but you SWEAR you didn’t know it was alcoholic. That or you don’t speak English.

Find some water, a few fiddy cent rolls from Jimmy John's, and a place to sit down for a few.

If it actually seems serious, call MERT.

EGO

CREATIVE • BALANCED • SIMPLE 1608 SOUTH STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA 215-790-0330 • ENTREEBYOB.COM A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

5

MUSIC

INTERVIEW: FOREST SWORDS

English music producer Matthew Barnes, known by his stage name Forest Swords, sat down with us to talk music, getting fired and going with your gut.

leads into other stuff. When I was younger I was into metal, rock, punk stuff, then I got into post– punk, dub and electronica. All of those genres have crossover bands that exist in a grey area between two genres, so it’s easy to pinpoint what bands got me into which genres, but it’s just been a gradual process over the years.

Street: How long have you been making music?

Matthew Barnes: This year, probably about four years. I started making music when I lost my job, I got made redundant, got laid off from my design job and had quite a lot of time to spend on my own, just trying things out. I got some music software and started just playing around with sounds and textures and bits of melodies, and all of a sudden it just gradually formed into these full tracks, so it’s just kind of been this slow process for me.

Street: Did you grow up in a musical environment?

MB: Not really, my parents like music but it’s not really, I guess, what you would call “cool music.”

Not stuff to name–drop in an interview. Actually my first concert was Michael Jackson, which was pretty nice, but they [also] took me to the Eagles.

They always encouraged me to enjoy music, but it wasn’t a musical household in terms of creating music.

Street: Pitchfork has compared you to artists such as Mount Kimbie and even Bon Iver; how would you say your music stands out among those names?

MB: It’s really difficult to be objective about the type of music that you’re making. I guess I just try to do my own thing and not really pay attention to people that I’m compared to, because I think it kind of clouds your judgment. I always try to forge my own path. It’s very important for me not to fall into traps about what’s trendy or what’s cool right now. You just have to go with your gut instinct, I think.

FANCY A FREE WAX? FOR FIRST-TIME GUESTS

Street: Has your taste changed through the years?

MB: It has, but it’s been very gradual.

You can very clearly map the kind of gateway bands that you’re into and what

Street: One thing that strikes us about your music is that there’s a real sense of atmosphere—in songwriting do you focus more on this or on song structure?

MB: I guess it’s about 50/50. I like creating songs that people can engage with, so they’re not that crazy structurally—they’re almost like pop songs, with verse, chorus, blah blah blah, but the exciting thing for me is playing around with atmosphere and tweaking sounds and textures to change how people engage with it. I spend a lot of time taking layers away and adding layers on. It’s a really important part of the song–making process for me.

Street: You went to art school for graphic design—is your creative process for visual art similar to your musical creative process?

MB: I would say it’s pretty similar—when I make music, I work visually. On a laptop, I can see what’s happening; it’s the same as making something in Photoshop or making a painting. You add layers on and you scrub them away. It’s almost like a key turning in a lock and all of a sudden you’re like “oh, actually this kind of works.” They’re pretty similar processes; you just use different tools.

CHARLES DAVIS AND LUCY HOVANISYAN Check out the rest of the interview with Forest Swords at 34st.com!

HAIKU REVIEWS

© 2014 EWC You must be a state resident.

Roses are red / Haikus are sweet / Fling is tomorrow / But right now read Street.

“IMAGINARY ENEMY” THE USED

Do you remember the album “In Love And Death?”

Not as lackluster.

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“ALL YOU CAN EAT” STEEL PANTHER

PHILADELPHIA RITTENHOUSE 215 561 1250 35 South 18th Street

A metal band that makes fart jokes? Is that a thing?

Moody and snappy

Grade: D Download: “Pussywhipped” Sounds best: Never.

LUCY HOVANISYAN

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6072_Philadelphia-Rittenhouse_Daily-Penn_B.indd 1

Grade: CDownload: “Revolution” Sounds best when: Angrily anticipating your PHYS 250 midterm.

4/4/14 5:20 PM

MUSIC

ALBUM REVIEWS “ENCLOSURE” JOHN FRUSCIANTE

“TREMORS” SOHN

Former RHCP guitarist John Frusciante has had a stylistically indefinable solo career, and “Enclosure” continues this trend. His brooding, guitar–driven ballads are gone, replaced with layers of synths and frenetic, industrial drum parts. “Enclosure” is Frusciante’s most bizarre effort, and it doesn't necessarily work for him; the strangeness of the album often feels contrived. There’s also a definite lack of cohesion, both between songs and within songs, that becomes distracting over the course of the album. With neither a standout ethos nor any songs that are readily accessible in a pop sense, the album falls a bit flat.

Sohn, the Londoner residing in Vienna, finally released a debut album after his first tracks were posted on SoundCloud in 2012 and packed shows at SXSW. This promising debut puts him upfront in electronic music with a certain minimalism similar to Lana Del Rey and Kandinsky and a vocal clarity reminiscent of Radiohead.

What makes him unique is his ability to bring different artists’ prints into one album and still make his own. The entire album gives a nocturnal, sensitive and space–like deliverance that makes you want to go dancing in a small, dark club in Berlin.

CHARLES DAVIS

DIANE BAYEUX

Grade: C Download: “Stage” Sounds best when: Writing the last three paragraphs of your paper before dawn

Grade: B– Download: “Lessons” Sounds best when: Creepin' at the Bio Pond at the stroke of midnight

MEET THE PENN MUSICIAN: TATE GALE Ask Tate Gale why he decided to join the Mask and Wig Club, and he’ll laugh a little to himself before answering, “I tried out without knowing that it would become my entire life.”

Like many of his fellow freshman classmates, Gale auditioned for Mask and Wig knowing little about the organization. At that point, his only exposure to the group was the band’s performance during Penn Preview Days. “They made an announcement that they had members who were graduating,” Gale remembers. “I saw Will Corbitt—the pianist at the time—smile a little at that remark.” Corbitt was a senior, which meant there was going to be an opening for a piano player. Gale auditioned for the Mask and Wig band during his first week of school, and soon he was consumed by the hectic life of the musical comedy troupe.

CAROLYN GRACE

Check out the rest of the story about Tate at 34st.com!

MORE @ 34ST.COM

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7

the

F E AT U R E

survey

Define Fling in One Sentence “Sorry I vommed on your little sister when she visited for Fling; she was in my way.”

Fuck the Gender Binary, senior “A bunch of overeducated shitheads trying to party like a state school once a year.”

Male, senior “Crunchwrap Supreme is to Taco Bell as Fling is to Penn.”

Male, senior “Wanna make out?”

Female, senior “It's not gay if it's during Fling.”

Male, junior “I lovre uo oooo mchuuu.”

Female, sophomore

Written By: Michelle Ma & Zacchiaus McKee Design By: Margot Halpern photo by: Alex Remnick

8

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W

e Fling because we can. Because Fling has grown into a force of nature, a tradition that cannot be stopped, even if we wanted it to.

We Fling because it’s one of the reasons we came to Penn, because of the memories of Penn Preview/Quaker Days past. We Fling because we remember the excitement of drinking before noon and that first time getting bass–blasted on the concert floor. We Fling because we have to.

To the stolen Biopond turtles and weekends in April forgotten, we salute you.

But what is Fling? We sent out an anonymous survey, and over 500 of you took the time to tell us how you Fling. You had opinions on the alcohol, the drug use, the concert lineup and the tanks; the budget, the struggles, the regrets and the changes. You agreed (on binge drinking and the merits of fried Oreos), and you disagreed (on how much exactly SPEC spends and the socially acceptable number of Fling tanks to purchase).

Everyone agreed on Beyoncé.

Fling is the Crunchwrap Supreme of Penn. Fling is that first gay sexual experience and that drunken text you probably wish you didn’t send. We know how we feel about Fling. Do you know how you feel? Here’s Fling, unchecked.

Ed note: All components of this introduction are based off of data collected in the following survey.

There's a whole lot more of your answers, complaints and craziness online @ 34st.com.

F E AT U R E

What do you consider Fling?

Write us a Fling Haiku

other: 5%

“My eyeballs are numb / Nasty ass monkeys get high / Fling a ling a ding” Female, junior “Why am I so fucked? / I don't know who I'm kissing / I'll go with it tho” Male, senior “A freshman puking / In a straight up fanny pack / Because of YOLO” Female, junior “We drank, we boned, yeah / I vomited my insides / Uh–oh Facebook tag” Female, junior “What the fuck is a haiku?” Male, sophomore “Friday class at 10 / TA please ignore the rum / Physics mumble floor” Female, senior “Shit I lost my pants / Where the fuck is my cellphone / Fling Fleng Flang Flong Flung” Male, senior

the concert: 10% quad festivities: 10%

the parties: 63%

all three: 12%

What day of the week does Fling start?

Tell us your worst Fling story: “Coming back from Alesso in the rain and waiting two hours for a train, very much sober.”

Female, junior “Threw up on my fave jammies.” Female, junior “I hate being drunk on busses. Like you ALWAYS have to pee, ya know?” Female, senior “Swallowing and breathing in packing peanuts at Zetes. Lost my voice for three weeks. Definitely getting cancer.” Female, sophomore “Allergic reaction to jungle juice.”

Female, sophomore “Got lost in the Quad for three hours my sophomore year. It was like a bad dream I couldn't wake up from. I did leave with a lot of stuff ripped off the walls, though.” Male, senior “My friends abandoning me to go to a party at Drexel. Seriously, who goes to Drexel during Fling?” Male, sophomore “Coming out as gay to girls who were in love with me.” Male, senior “Having food poisoning and having to wear drawstring pants the entire time.”

Female, sophomore

How much money do you think SPEC spends on Fling?

$426,317.20 (average) $500,000 (mode)

Sun

<1%

Mon

7%

Tues

Wed

Thurs

Fri

7%

51%

25%

10%

What day of the week does Fling end?

Sun

65%

Mon

3%

Tues

0%

Wed

0%

Thurs

Fri

0%

2%

What are your thoughts on the Fling line up this year?

“HELL YEAH HELL FUCKING YEAH.” Male, senior “My inner guido is pleased.”

Male, junior “More like David Gutter.”

Male, junior “Wish there were a girl.”

Female, junior

How much money do you think SPEC should spend on Fling?

“Bandz a make her dance.”

Female, junior “Wack as hell. Ya'll couldn't get Blue Ivy? Ya'll couldn't get Lil’ Mama? Ya'll couldn't get R. Kelly? SMHHHH.” Female, freshman

$75,444,198.13 (average) $1,000,000 (mode) A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

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F E AT U R E

freshman sophomore junior senior

percentage

40 30

70

sophomore junior senior

60

20

If this is your first Fling, what are you most excited for?

How many drinks did you consume last Fling?

80

percentage

50

How many drinks do you consume in an average weekend?

F E AT U R E

50

“Campus–wide drug use.” Female, Freshman

“Trying Molly for the first time.”

Male, Freshman

40 30

“Everyone being friendly.” Male, Junior

20 10 0

10 0

1-2 3-5 number of drinks

6-9

10+

0

0

1-2 3-5 6-9 number of drinks

“Nothing, because the lineup is wack as hell and I would've been excited to see Guetta if I were still in the 9th grade!!!111!!!11!” Female, Freshman

10+

“Nothing.

LCE will ruin it.”

Male, Sophomore

“No.” Multiple respondents “TANKS!!!!” Male, Freshman “Girl Talk.” Female, Freshman meth

have not

40%

“Nipples.” Male, Senior

“Got crazy on whippits and hijacked a Papa John's truck.” Male, Junior 1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4

49% have

How many Fling tanks did you buy last year?

f: female m: male o: other

50

2012

50 40

Ratatat, Lupe Fiasco, Flo Rida

Passion Pit, Tiesto

30 20 10

2011

Tyga, Janelle Monae, Girl Talk

0

m

m f

f

f o

10

0

Last year, did you go to Girl Talk, Alesso at Villanova, or neither? alesso: 7%

o

2014

2013

cocaine

girl talk: 13%

30

20

acid

o

40

Magic Man, Ra Ra Riot, David Guetta

shrooms

marijuana

molly

60

“I peed in a bowl of Qdoba nachos in Qdoba.” Male, Senior “Hundreds of inflatable unicorns rained down on me in one glorious darty moment of sunshine.”

Male, Sophomore

If yes, which ones?

have not

What year had the best Fling lineup?

percentage of responses

“Made out with a prefrosh in a moonbounce while crossfaded.”

Female, Sophomore

“Stole a turtle from the bio pond and brought it to Wawa.”

Female, Junior

51%

have

Tell us your best Fling story

"Irrelevant." Male, Junior

HAVE YOU DONE DRUGS DURING FLING? Greek

Non-Greek

60%

crack

m

f m

o

0

neither: 80%

o

1

2

3

m

f

4+ A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 1

FLING THE

S T N E RES

P

GUIDE

UPPER QUAD friday, april 11 & saturday, april 12

1 moon bounce 2 gladiator joust 3 wrecking ball 4 INFETCH 5 mechanical bull 6 water station 7 super hoops 8 Penn Hillel 9 lumpy's bbq

(fried oreos)

10 lil' pop shop

LOWER QUAD friday, april 11 & saturday, april 12

1 festival food management 2 pretzel revolution 3 wild bills soda 4 liberty concessions 5 Ă&#x153;ber stand 6 photobooth

As always, we Fling Directors are extremely excited for this year’s Fling celebration: Peace, Love, Fling! We hope that you will join us in the Quad wearing your fabulous tie-dye SPEC tanks and enjoying the many talented performances that will take place on both Quad stages. On both Friday and Saturday at the Fling table, we will also be giving away free stickers and tattoos with this year’s groovy logo on them! Like the many Flings that came before, this weekend will offer a multitude of ways to have fun and release stress before we buckle down for the final weeks of school.

We’re especially excited for Jazz & Grooves’ artists this year: Oberhofer, Le1f, and a mystery artist that will be released on Monday. They will be performing on the lower Quad stage on Saturday so be sure to check them out as it is sure to be a great time with great music.

This year will have all of the classic Fling favorites like fried Oreos in

the Quad and free Pat’s Cheesesteaks at the Saturday Night Carnival. But also be on the lookout for some new additions, including Wild Bill’s Soda and the Gozen Yogurt Truck.

This is a time to let loose and have fun with friends, so we hope you are preparing for the most anticipated weekend of the year.

We also hope that the whole Penn community comes out to make this year’s Fling truly memorable. We’ve been so thrilled and honored to have been given the opportunity to help plan Penn’s most treasured weekend with SPEC Concerts. We would like to thank our awesome committee for their hard work, and give a special thanks to our sub-chairs.

YOUR SPRING FLING DIRECTORS, George Li Katie Rolin Derek Standlee

Spring Fling is the most anticipated weekend of the school year; a time when the undergraduate community can come together to celebrate comes together in a last joyous hurrah before the culmination of the academic year. For two days, Penn is one in body, spirit, and sound mind.

We, the Social Planning and Events Committee (SPEC), are proud to provide these types of events to the community throughout the year.

One of SPEC’s top priorities for the weekend is safety. We cannot emphasize enough the importance of safety during Fling weekend. At a time when thousands of students simultaneously scramble for fried Oreos, mechanical bull rides, and inflatable obstacle courses, it is especially important to be aware of any unsafe circumstances. We encourage you to enjoy Fling for what it is, not for the behavior that it can elicit. There are multiple resources during Fling to ensure everyone’s safety. Fling Safe committee members, donning pink t-shirts, will be available throughout Fling– they

Our advisors: Katie Hanlon-Bonner, Danielle Crowl, Samantha Kramer Other SPEC Directors and Executive Board Members Ben Yang, Melody Chiang, Ethan Jones, Victoria Zhao, Gabe Jimenez, Jason Fernandes, Kendall Jackson, Rachelle Clark, Evan Booker, Andres Martinez, Andrew Scibelli, Tomoko Nyunoya, Dominic Watson, Irene Jadic, Scott Gehlot, Elliott Brooks, Lin Zheng, Anh Tran, Billy Clarke, Jenny Cahalane, Arielle Sorkin, Jing Huang, Claire Keener Casey Peeks, Carolina Angel, Julie Palomba, Gib Baltzer And of course our committee: Angel Chen, Emma Edoga, Jasmine Barksdale, Nicole Banks, Kate Ham, Chelsea McCook, Jason Lokuta, Dylan Phillips, Caroline Ho, Vidya Daryanani, Fiona La, Rachel Buff, Bryan Manning, Anu Gupta, Debbie Ly, Izer Martinez, Nicole Kwok, Anna Garson, Marlaine Erhart, Ling Zhou, Mounika Burugupalli, Sindhu Pagadala, Rachel Erani

are there to help you and are a great resource to seek out. Additionally, MERT will have dedicated observation areas set-up in the Quad and in Franklin Field should you or your friends need their assistance.

Finally, we want to take a moment to celebrate the hard work of all SPEC directors, especially the Fling and Concerts directors who worked tirelessly to make this weekend happen. SPEC’s directors are exceptional undergraduates who dedicate their time and effort to events that shape your time at Penn.

None of our nine committees would exist without the relentless support of its dedicated members – their efforts make all of SPEC’s events possible and we would like to express a fond thank you to them.

AT THE ENTRANCE GATE • Doors Open 7pm and close at 8:45pm (to encourage early admission) • Bag Checks by Security • No bottles or containers of any kind • No large bags, backpacks, or umbrellas • No laser pointers, glass, video cameras, weapons, non-service animals, unapproved merchandise, or recording devices • Non-Projectile Glowsticks are ALLOWED • Wands and Pat-Downs • Before Security, SPEC Committee members to check guest passes/IDs • CSC will scan barcodes • NO Re-Entry

SPEC EXEC: Julie Palomba Casey Peeks Carolina Angel Gib Baltzer

Guest passes are selling out!

To register: www.specevents.net/guestpass if we don't sell out before then, last chance to buy guest passes will be on Wednesday, April 9th, at 4 PM in the conference room outside the OSA (2nd floor of Houston)--final deadline or while supplies last

The Quadrangle 12pm – 6pm Upper Quad: Performers, Vendors, Inflatables, Student Groups Lower Quad: Bands, Vendors, Ambulance, Port-A-Potties McClelland Hall: Spring Fling Operations, MERT Flinger Food (Shoemaker Green) 6pm-8pm Franklin Field Doors open at 7pm, close at 8:45pm. Concert time 8pm.

Performers: Magic Man, Ra Ra Riot, and David Guetta

The Quadrangle 12pm – 6pm Upper Quad: Performers, Vendors, Inflatables, Student Groups Lower Quad: Bands, Vendors, Ambulance, Port-A-Potties McClelland Hall: Spring Fling Operations, MERT College Green 8pm – 12am Carnival: Food Vendors and Inflatables

on stage

saturday, april 12

friday, april 11

lower quad lower quad

Carnival: Sat. April 12th 8PM – 12AM Location: College Green

lineup

12:00-12:20.....................................................dj vic 12:00-12:20.....................................................dj 12:30-12:50........................................quaker notes vic 1:00-1:20..........................................bloomers bandnotes 12:30-12:50........................................quaker 1:30-1:50.........................................the pennchantsband 1:00-1:20..........................................bloomers 2:00-2:20..................................................the outfits 1:30-1:50.........................................the pennchants 2:30-2:50.....................................................king 2:00-2:20..................................................thesky outfits 3:00-3:50...................................................uss mars 2:30-2:50.....................................................king sky 3:30-3:40...................................................fat angel 3:00-3:50...................................................uss mars 4:00-4:20.....................................................jon iwry 3:30-3:40...................................................fat 4:30-4:50...................................................dischordangel 4:00-4:20.....................................................jon 5:00-5:20..............................................deal casino iwry 4:30-4:50...................................................dischord 5:30-5:50....................................................onesies

5:00-5:20..............................................deal casino upper quad 5:30-5:50....................................................onesies

12:10-12:30.........................................konner scott 12:40-1:00........................................................osiris 1:10-1:30......................................freaks of the beat 12:10-12:30.........................................konner scott 1:40-2:00...............................................phortissimo 12:40-1:00........................................................osiris 2:10-2:30..........................................sarah lindstedt 1:10-1:30......................................freaks the beat 2:40-3:00.............................................penny of loafers 1:40-2:00...............................................phortissimo 3:10-3:30..................................................penn raas 2:10-2:30..........................................sarah 3:40-4:00.................................................jameslindstedt choi 4:10-4:30.................................................penn masti 2:40-3:00.............................................penny loafers 4:40-5:00...................................................pennaach 3:10-3:30..................................................penn raas 5:10-5:30..................................................penn hype choi 3:40-4:00.................................................james 5:40-6:00................................................onda latinamasti 4:10-4:30.................................................penn

upper quad

1 2 3 4

• •

lower quad

• •

2:10-3:00.....................................................j&g: le1f upper quad 3:10-3:40...........................................glee club band 12:00-12:20.........................................disney 3:50-4:50........................................j&g: tbaacapella monday 12:30-12:50..................................................upenn 5:00-6:00............................................mask andyalla wig 1:00-1:20.................................................young nothing 1:30-1:50....................................panasian dance troupe 2:00-2:20.....................................................off the beat 2:30-2:50...................................................penn samba 3:00-3:20.............................................................redfist 3:30-3:50........................................................dhamaka 4:00-4:20....................................................strictly funk 4:30-4:50...................................................counterparts 5:00-5:20.........................................................buscape

5 6 7 8

South Booth Mechanical Bull Water Station Moon Bounce

SPRING FLING RULES

4:40-5:00...................................................pennaach lower quad 5:10-5:30..................................................penn hype 12:10-12:30.....................................................rail 3 5:40-6:00................................................onda latina 12:40-1:30.........................................j&b oberhofer 1:40-2:00.................................chalk theory bandits 2:10-3:00.....................................................j&g: le1f 3:10-3:40...........................................glee club band 3 12:10-12:30.....................................................rail 3:50-4:50........................................j&g: tba monday 12:40-1:30.........................................j&b oberhofer 5:00-6:00............................................mask and wig 1:40-2:00.................................chalk theory bandits

Pat's Cheese Steaks Gozen Yogurt Truck Sugar Philly Truck Magic Carpet Truck

• •

• •

All Concert attendees 18+ are required to have either a valid PennCard or other valid photo ID. Those under 18 must be registered Guest Pass holders, with valid photo ID, and be accompanied by Penn Student Host.

Passes can be revoked by University officials at any time without refund if guests fail to adhere to University, Housing, and Spring Fling Policies. Guests will then not be able to re-enter the Quad.

For Emergencies: Call 215-573-3333 All bags are subject to inspection by security. Formal bag checks will start 12 AM April 10th and go to 10 AM April 13th All guests must have their Guest Passes, a photo ID, and be accompanied by their host in order to enter the Quad.

ONLY Quad residents and their registered guests may enter into Quad buildings.

Guests must be accompanied by their resident hosts at all times when inside Quad buildings, e.g. hallways, lounges, student dorm rooms, etc. Guests do not need to be accompanied by their host ONLY while in the outdoor areas of the Quad during the above Spring Fling hours. (EXPLAINED FURTHER ON NEXT SLIDE) ONLY OPEN, EMPTY BEVERAGE CONTAINERS will be permitted inside the Quad during Fling hours.

During the hours of 10 AM - 6:30 PM on April 12th - 13th, ONLY Quad residents and their registered guests may enter into Quad buildings at their assigned entry doors. Guests MUST be accompanied by their resident hosts at all times

when inside Quad buildings, e.g. hallways, lounges, student dorm rooms, etc.

Guests do not need to be accompanied by their host ONLY while in the outdoor areas of the Quad during Spring Fling hours.

• Porta-Potties will be stationed near the Lower Quad Gate

RELIGIOUS FILMS

FILM & TV

It’s noteworthy for its less than positive appraisal of Christianity and a rare Orlando Bloom role hailed as “not actively bad.” Side note: the direcWe heard “Noah” was a pretty good movie, consid- tor is an atheist. ering it’s all religious and stuff. In light of the holi- See if you like: “Pearl Harbor,” “Master and day threeway coming up, we thought we’d revisit Commander,” Orlando Bloom.

some religious classics.

“Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade”: Nothing makes religious relics sexier than putting them in the hands of a young Harrison Ford. While not specifically about religion, this third film in the “Indy” trilogy (let’s forget the fourth ever happened) portrays religion as capable of converting the cynical archaeologist to a man of faith and the Holy Grail as capable of not only endowing immortality, but also destroying entire buildings and forcibly aging men into skeletons. That’s the power of God. See if you like: “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (specifically the face–melting scene), “Call of Duty,” Sean Connery’s accent.

“Kingdom of Heaven”: From the man who brought you “Gladiator,” “Kingdom of Heaven” was a wild flop in the box office. However, it stands as a valiant effort in a post–9/11 world to ignite balanced discourse about religious relations. (Whether it succeeded or not depends on where you sit in the audience.)

“Prince of Egypt”: Moses gets animated, with music. From 1998, this film was a staple in the Disney–ish arsenal of animated films from our generation’s childhood. Somehow, as it toed the line between bastardization of Biblical text and brainwashing children with admirable finesse, the result was a damn good film with an inspirational message. With an addictive score and characters voiced by such folk as Patrick Stewart, Helen Mirren, Steve Martin and Sandra Bullock, this childhood gem lithely tackles religion in a way that, one would think, offends no one.

See if you like: “Pocahontas,” “Mulan,” the Torah.

“Godspell: A Musical Based on the Gospel According to St. Matthew”: For some reason, in the 60s and 70s, a bunch of theatre folk decided it’d be a fabulous idea to make musicals based on the lives of religious figures. Much like its brother and sister shows of the time, this musical is really, truly just about hippies. Set in NYC, the film tells the tale of Jesus and his disciples—a band of actors who perform Biblical parables in the streets of New York. The finale is Jesus’ crucifixion in a junkyard. “Godspell” hits the nail on the head with the first, “Jesus was a hippie,” mantra.

See if you like: “Woodstock,” “Jesus Christ Superstar,” “Hair,” sticking it to the man, unwashed humans.

“Bruce Almighty”: God (Morgan Freeman) gives a whiny reporter (Jim Carrey) his power. At a time when moviegoers were willing and wanting to watch Jim Carrey play God, this film gives religious belief a tongue– in–cheek treatment, but ends the day with an entirely heartfelt and earnest message. Naturally, religion is not at the center of the film, but in using faith in God as the fulcrum for comedic goings–on, it simultaneously reinforces and pokes fun at religious belief—making no serious satire in the process. However, some audiences took this more seriously, and the film fueled much controversy, particularly in Egypt where it was banned for portraying God as a ordinary man. Frankly, though, no one regards Morgan Freeman as an ordinary man.

See if you like: “Liar, Liar,” Jennifer Aniston, comedians now past their prime.

JOANNA GLUM

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Oh right, roll down to the writers' meeting tonight.

XOXO

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F+TV www.toboxshoes.com

1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4

WWJD?

FILM & TV

We recommend you save “Game of Thrones” for a more private setting—titties out of context can be a little confusing and no one’s looking for another Van Porn incident.

Study breaks in the form of a TV episode are good for the soul, though, so we’ve got some recs for what to watch, wherever you may be.

VP Secret Cubicle: Your secret CW addiction—we recommend up–and–comer “Reign.” Plus, if someone walks by, it might look like you’re watching some kind of docu–reenactment for your thesis on the renaissance period...right?

How to watch: Hulu, XfinityTV Pottruck: Watch MTV/E!/ESPN—remember Cable TV? Where you can’t control what the channels choose

to air? Well, we’re here to remind you about it. For trashy–television lovers, your best bet is to switch back between MTV and E! for some salacious Kardashian drama mixed in with watching houses full of 20–somethings who are all secretly fucking each other in the same bed. For those “above” that, we recommend a classic switch between ESPN and ESPN2, or possibly a foray into the “Law & Order” syndications on USA and TNT. Ah cable, 30 minutes of cardio is exactly how much we want to be reminded of your novelty.

How to watch: Not much of a choice here (unless you're savvy enough to find the On Demand options).

Huntsman Forum: Gotta go for Showtime’s “House of Lies” in the management consultant–breeding hub that is Huntsman Hall. “House of Lies” follows the life of top tier consultant Marty Kaan (played by Don Cheadle) and how he fucks up every other aspect of his life outside of his career to be the best in consulting. Every Huntsman inhabitant’s dream.

How to watch: XfinityTV, Showtime Anytime

Silfen Study Center: Silfen, located in Penn’s language hub Williams Hall, is not a place to be watching English language television. Check out “La Tempestad,” a Mexican soap opera available on Hulu. It details the tumultuous and, you guessed it, sexy love story between Marina and the long–haired Capitan Damian Fabre (played by that hot Latin guy from the “Single Moms’ Club”).

How to watch: Hulu

Starbucks Under Commons: “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” Delectably inoffensive choice because who doesn’t love Jon Stewart? It also gives off the

vibe that you might be informed about current events and can therefore participate in small talk. And if it looks like you can small talk, someone might hit on you because you dressed really cute to go to Starbucks under Commons, as one does.

How to watch: Comedycentral.com

Towne: No one in Towne has the time to be watching TV on their laptops. Good one, though!

Freud, Moses A N D

T H E

Sunday, April 27, 4 PM

EC O

OPEN TO ALL • $15 or $5 for students with valid ID 300 S. 18th St., Phila.

Register at bzbi.org

There’s a lot more to learn at www.JewishThoughtandPsychoanalysis.com

EN T

BZBI’s First Annual Lecture in Jewish Thought and Psychoanalysis

S

Noted scholar, Professor Eli Zaretsky (author of Secrets of the Soul: A Social and Cultural History of Psychoanalysis), will guide us through a fascinating part of our past and present in this new lecture series devoted to the cultural, historic, and conceptual interfaces between Jewish and Psychoanalytic thinking.

ER

HOLOCAUST THE

N E 1 TRYNA STAY IN AND WATCH MOVIES THIS WEEKEND??????? ???

CASSANDRA KYRIAZIS

ND MILE C

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Clothing, appliances, books, furniture, household items, and more!

Monday–Saturday 10AM–8PM

214 South 45th Street (Between Locust & Walnut) 215.662.1663

To donate, call 215.662.1663

www.TheSecondMileCenter.com A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 3

FOOD & DRINK

DRUNCHIE OF THE WEEK:

Rally from Fling fatigue with this souped–up hot dog.

1. Combine one cup cream cheese, two tablespoons dry mustard powder and two tablespoons yellow mustard in a medium bowl.

2. Blend until smooth (can be made ahead; cover and keep chilled.)

3. Melt one tablespoon unsalted butter in a skillet over medium–low heat.

4. Place four split hot dog buns into skillet and toast until dry and golden, about three minutes.

5. Remove buns and add another tablespoon of unsalted butter, raising heat to medium–high.

6. Then fry four pre–cooked brats, turning occasionally, until crisp and brown, five to seven minutes.

7. Meanwhile, thickly coat one side of the toasted buns with cream cheese mixture and the other side with coarse–ground mustard.

8. Transfer brats to buns, topping each with a dill pickle spear and slices of canned pimiento peppers.

RECIPE AND PHOTOS BY SOLOMON BASS

MUSTARDY BRATS WITH PICKLES AND PIMIENTOS

www.hummusrestaurant.com

5029 Baltimore Ave

267-233-7188

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 212 South 11th Street Philadelphia 267-858-4634

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Send your loved one a Pound Cake for Easter

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3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia, PA 215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

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Discount w/Penn Card

It doesn’t matter if you hide it under your waistband or with your boob sweat, a flask is worthless if the drink is no good.

If you can’t quite handle a flask full of straight alcohol and must have a mixed drink instead, avoid citrus.

Citrus drinks can make your flask’s contents taste metallic. Nothing is more disappointing than looking forward to a lemon–lime surprise and getting a mouth full of metal.

Don't let it marinate. The best mixed drink of all time won’t taste good after a day of stewing, especially if it has absorbed the flask’s metal.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

FLASK & YOU SHALL RECEIVE

Splurge. Your flask is your saving grace and you’re going to be drinking it warm so don’t be afraid to use your best alcohol. The only thing worse than a mouthful of Bankers is a mouthful of warm Bankers.

Editor’s Pick: Best Mixed Drink for Flasks Three oz. Wild Turkey Bourbon One and one–half oz. vermouth A small, scored piece of orange peel (it’s barely citrus, shut up)

34

ST

FOOD & DRINK FILM

DIY CAMPUS COCKTAILS DO YOU PAY PER VIEW? Make Penn your BYO just in time for Fling.

Film polled you to findFresca out how you areThe getting your Sunday Tortas Frontera Agua + Tequila: consensus on these sugaryafternoon beverages is “too sweet!” “too sour!” and “wow this would be a great chaser!”

Turn that fantasy into a reality movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN

by adding tequila to the mix. It will make for margaritas that are even better than Copa’s. hough we all know the watch Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that Penn stuInternet is for porn fit this mold of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their Fruit Cart smoothie + Rum: Relive your days on the beach in PV by making your own (thanks Avenue Q), the League students well, with only RomCom fix online with free daiquiris. Not only is the fruit fresh and delicious, but one smoothie will serve you and 10 of bedroom is no longer the only about 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel your closest friends. We promise—there’s nothing wrong with turning your healthy mornarea being ceded to digital terri- watching movies at the Rave ev- and Ch131 rather than pay for ing pick–me–up into a pregame showstopper. Just plan ahead, as the cart isn’t there nights or tory. For every girl with daddy’s ery semester. services provided by Netflix and weekends.

AmEx, window browsing on But how about the other ste- Redbox?

Fifth Avenue has been replaced reotype, the one that says all colWhile 75% of us watch movWilCaf Latte + Bailey’s: As if we didn’t love WilCaf enough already, with online shopping. And lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for we’ve found something to make it even better. Add Bailey’s to your FYEs everywhere have virtu- movement of information made it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a espresso drink of choice and turn up in the Silfen Study ally been rendered useless (pun possible by the interweb makes new release on iTunes — is hysLounge. Or don't, because ew. intended) with the existence of terical, but is Whose recommendations do you take? the multifarious iTunes store. it worth the Wawa Milkshake + Liqueur: Being drunk is 50 Things are no different here 1.5 salads at 47.7% literally the only way we can justify consuming one Other at Penn, where the Rave gets Sweetgreen of these 1000+ calorie snacks, so why not get40% drunk while 40 A Friend nearly half the traffic for the it would drinking one? This combo offers a lot of variety: coffee liCinema Studies midnight screenings of blockhave cost if 30 Major queur + chocolate, creme de menthe 26.2% + mint chocolate chip, 25% 25% buster hits like Twilight as Hulu I had seen it Professor or TA etc. It’s f ’real good.

20 does the day after the newest in theaters?

Street episode of 30 Rock airs. This Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were Jin+ja + Champagne: If you haven’t tried this drink, run, allowed to choose more makes sense. We Penn students dles aren’t don’t walk, to literally anywhere—it’s sold in Bridge, Houston, than one option.

0 are too busy procrastinating that bad, I Marks, etc. This ginger, cayenne pepper, green tea, mint and lemon on Penn InTouch and designguess. bev is the weirdest and most delicious thing ever, and their marketing ing funny lacrosse pinnies for entertainment accessible and The average Penn student “jin+ja to Wharton!

Make yourtoown cocktail the clubs ninja” we’re went involved in to inexpensive anyone with by an adding (who is anything but average, if champagne or sparkling wine and you’ll feel classy AF. leave the comfort of our beds to AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch-

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34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

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8 A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

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25%

es seven m every semes tic proves t to watch sa than at the tional $20 of popcorn not include tions). The ing seven m less than 30 many conv paid service ing interru buffering an immunity and most im ing to wai watching 72 on Megavid Not to m price to pa the big pictu savings of students wh services rath movie theat tween $196 depending Netflix or i Moral of th judge if you

*A simp of 100 Pen surveyed to their film v

ARTS

It’s that time of year again, Quakers. The sun is shining, the whole campus smells like shit and Bankers is soon to be flowing—Spring Fling is here. Your memories of Flings past may be hazy, but Arts is here to review the most important part of weekend: the logo, duh.

One year later and the frolicking figures are still going strong, although these handholding men (probably pledges, amirite?) are vaguely reminiscent of some sort of satanic ritual.

This is, however, one of the first logos to include Quad architecture. The 1979 concert also featured the trio McGuinn, Clark and Hillman. F*cking classic.

Here’s a serious #tbt for ya. Only five years after the first ever Spring Fling, three frolicking womanly figures accompany this logo. In the early days of Fling, there was no specific theme other than getting drunk, having fun and “frolicking.”

In 2012, SPEC stepped it up with this logo. Rather than just a single slogan, this logo incorporates the Quad and a theme, “Candy Land,” to create a colorful and creative design. Fling never tasted so sweet?

Fling never looked so sweet.

Flash–forward a lot and we come to 2007’s “License to Fling.” Probably one of the creepier designs, this gets points for incorporating Ben Franklin but loses those points for making him look loopy off perc and God knows what else.

Maybe that was the point.

You do you, Ben.

So this technically isn’t from Flings past.

Logos from the actual seventies were lame, and this logo about the seventies is awesome. Here’s to a great Fling, Quakers. Hope it’s pretty groovy.

Truly a well–crafted logo, this design takes on “40 Years of Fling” and brings it to a new level. This represents the music of all Flings past, including Hall and Oates in 1981, The Roots in 1995 and 2000, Third–Eye Blind in 2007, Akon in 2009 and Tiesto in 2012.

We just won’t talk about the 2013 concert...

ANNA GARSON

e h h t l l a s t’ DON'TatWHINE. all t s WhaWINE, ’ h W eee h thhee h h t l t t l l a l t l l a a a l ’s l a ’s t W Whhhaaattt’s’s W W Whhaat’s FLING WILL BE AS GOOD AS YOU MAKE IT

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ARTS

What is art without drugs? From mushrooms to absinthe to LSD and good old alcohol, artists have been medicating as part of the creative process for as far back as recorded history goes. Of course, there’s always the possibility that you, who may have no artistic talent while sober, could be a virtuoso in a different state of mind. This weekend if you add a little something special to your routine for Fling, you might want to think about getting down from that elevated surafce and taking out a paintbrush.

The mind–altering qualities of psychedelic substances color our entire cultural history. The Mayans created their trippy–looking stone calendars under the influence of ayahausca, a brew of plant infusions. Van Gogh was a user of hallucinogenic absinthe. Salvador Dali—who once famously said, “I don’t do drugs; I AM drugs”—was a big user of psychedelics. In fact, many contemporary artists attain critical acclaim right around the time they discover their drug of choice.

Beyond visual art, it doesn’t take much effort to see that much of our culture is under the influence. Charles Dickens, author of “A Tale of Two Cities” and “Oliver Twist,” did opiates. Steve Jobs, the man who married technology with aesthetics in the form of your sleek new iPhone, used LSD. Benjamin Frankin, scientist, politician and founder of a certain Ivy League school, enjoyed opiates and marijuana.

The next time you take the time to trek up to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, take a moment to appreciate the effect of drugs in our art. It's pretty evident that most of the modern art wing is on something or the other, but look elsewhere as well. Drugs are ubiquitous, both blatantly obvious and hidden between the lines. For every piece that catches your eye, trace the questionably lucid thoughts that went into it. The more exotic, more superhuman or surreal it might feel, the more you should wonder if something extra went into its creation.

ROCHELLE SHEN

ABBY (ABIGAIL) GRAHAM

Website: in10words.tumblr.com Year: Sophomore Hometown: Philadelphia, PA Major: Linguistics

"One of the reasons I like writing on skin so much is it’s kind of a tactilization of thoughts, totally abstract when they’re thought, two dimensional written, but when they’re on skin they’re actually tangible and kind of part of you. That said, writing on skin is pretty temporary, which is where the photography comes in."

Check out the rest of the interview with Abby at 34st.com!

AND IN MY HOUR OF DARKNESS, STREET IS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, SPEAKING TONS OF BULLSHIT, ~LET IT BE~ PENN + THE BEATLES + ART THINGS COME TOGETHER THIS WEEK @34ST.COM A P R I L 1 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17

LOWBROW

SENIOR SOCIETY CHALKING PHOTO IDENTIFICATION

You may have noticed the slew of senior society chalking cropping up around around campus (how else can they remind you they exist?). Lowbrow has the 411 on which gaggle of campus elites is responsible for marking up West Philly.

LOWBROW'S DARTY ALTERNATIVES Undercover narcs and alcohol monitors are cracking down this year, so your favorite frats are offering a new batch of drug and alcohol— free Fling events.

Bobbing for apples at Chancellor

Mortar Board

OZ and APES pin the tail on the pledge

Zete latenight undernighter—bring your PJ’s! Popcorn will be served!

Friars

Jigsaw

GUETTA BEER

GET GETFLUNG FLUNG

Owls Downtown at Reading Terminal Market

Kappa Sig bounce house (sober)

Jewelry Ceramics

Home Wares Accessories

Soaps & Scents Cards & Prints

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LOWBROW

This section is fake.

But we have one truth bomb for you: DAVID GUETTA IS 46 YEARS OLD.

Real talk.

at

fling edition The Beach Boyz II Men

R. Kelly Clarkson

Rebecca Black Eyed Peas

JoJonas Brothers

Tegan and Sara Bareilles Nickelbackstreet Boys Bonnie Tyler, the Creator

James Taylor Swift Elton John Mayer

The Band Katy Perry

Matt & Lil’ Kim

Hot Chelle Carly Rae Jepsen

Modest Mau5

Bruno 30 Seconds to Mars

Freshman girl: Where’s Molly? I lost Molly! Do you know where I can find Molly? No, Molly Schwartz!

Engineering boy: Dude, that line was so long.

Yeah, I’ve done so many lines today: the line to get into the quad, the line at the fried oreo stall, the line for the portapottys...

The Vampire Weeknd

Laidback Luke Bryan

ADPI Senior: Let’s take a shot! Vodka? No, with this cool disposable camera from Urban. Quick, get in the frame for a photo, we’re gonna look so hipster!

Flo Rida Georgia Line

LMFAOne Direction

Everyone: Yeah, I missed the concert too.

it ’ s always a good time at pulse

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G N I L F F O E S EN

W

F E D N I

ration

minist d A n n e P e ter to th

et

An Open L

e came to college and got disappointed. Scale–defying high school GPAs and an Ivy League acceptance created the myth that perfection could— just maybe—exist. Cut to a year (or two or three or four) since we first celebrated our admissions status to the tune of the Red and the Blue. We still do embarrassing shit, we don’t accomplish everything we set out to do and sometimes it’s just too fucking cold to go to class. We arrived with high expectations, and sometimes things sucked. But that’s okay; we get it. Penn, that stuff isn't really your fault. But it’s been a long year. Students have found themselves starkly at odds with the administration and with each other. We could use a bit of unity.

Fling can—and should—be crazy, wild and wonderful. As easy as it is to forget: even when you’re lonely, you’re never really alone. We deserve a weekend where we come together as a community and celebrate what makes Penn a home, not just a school.

We’re not here to defend drinking to the point of incapacitation, hospitalization or worse. In fact, we’re not here to endorse drinking at all. Despite the bureaucratic fences that divide us, our goals remain the same. You want a school filled with healthy, satisfied students, and we want to be counted among them. Come August, we welcome a new crop—Class of 2018—and yes, they too, will be the best and the brightest. But isn’t ensuring that they can also be the happiest more important? Creating an atmosphere of distrust and resentment is not the way to do it.

Driving students to employ more discreet and dangerous methods for drug and alcohol abuse is not the way to do it.

Creating a campus exodus that excludes students who can’t afford the cost is not the way to do it. Two cabs, one to

If you wanted to stop Penn students from drinking, you’d probably just have to cancel college altogether. By acting as if underage drinking is circumventable, you’re removing the safeguards that protect students who will partake regardless. Medical amnesty ends, more or less, when Huntsman is out of shooting distance, and a 911 responder in Jersey isn’t going to care that the unconscious, underage drunk goes to Penn.

Worse, the possibility of no medical response at all in the face of a crisis can prove lethal and is much more likely in unfamiliar, unsafe locations.

Further, the alcohol crackdown on campus will likely drive students towards more potentially harmful drugs. Students aren’t going to sneak off to a Quad Port–A–Potty to shotgun a couple beers; they’ll be rolling or doing lines.

get downtown and one to get home: $24. Liquor store run: $30. Tickets for clubs and exclusive off–campus parties: $70. Going to a BYO instead of pregaming in the Quad: $45. Oh, and add an extra two cabs to that: (another) $24. Cost of Fling 2K14: Ridiculous.

Spending several hundred dollars to keep up with one’s peers isn’t possible for many Penn students. Scaring students all the way off campus divides Penn into the can’s and the cannot’s. Allowing on–campus parties to serve alcohol during Fling would encourage students to stay on and reduce the pressure to splurge on drinks and cabs for students who are not financially endowed.

Failing to communicate effectively with the students and deepening an institutional divide isn’t the way to do it. We’ve

reotypes, you’ll realize that campus fraternity presidents didn’t get the gig based on their BACs. The vilification of these students negates their hard work and commitment to their respective chapters. Moreover, threatening to force international presidents to trade their student visas for handcuffs in the event that their fraternities are caught serving alcohol to minors does not create cooperative and positive relationships with these organizations. It dissolves them.

Conversely, focusing preemptive action solely on the Greek community ignores the approximately 75% of the student body that is unaffiliated. All university student groups should be held to the same standard for every policy, especially when it comes to safety.

heard the rumors. There’s talk that the number of undercover cops will be doubled and that they will be issued fake Penn cards. Freshmen fear Quad room searches, and Liquor Control Enforcement stated that their presence was indeed "requested" for Fling. But we haven’t heard from you, administration. This lack of transparency not only leaves students confused and anxious but also shows that you don’t trust us. How can you expect us to return the favor? A safe Fling requires collaborations between students and the administration, not scare tactics and secrecy.

Threatening to arrest and/or deport Greek life leaders isn’t the way to do it. When you shelve your “Animal House” ste-

As twentysomethings, we understand the consequences of drinking, so let us in on the discussion. Might we suggest: Setting up stations around campus with water and food for students.

Hosting safe drinking workshops in the dorms in the weeks proceeding Fling.

Working with fraternity presidents and the IFC to create an emergency plan for dealing with crises should one occur at a party—registered or otherwise.

Allowing non–dry registered events.

Posting MERT numbers and emergency information in more locations across campus and near off–campus houses.

We, the staff of 34th Street Magazine, demand a better solution.

Written by Marley Coyne