April 5, 2012

April 5, 2012 34st.com

april 5

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2012

FROMtheEDITOR

PLEDGEMASTER

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street, overheards, tweet illustrated

workout playlists

4 EGO

ego of the week, flyering

6 FILM

reviews, netflix pick, student film festival

8 MUSIC

reviews, beats on the street, workout playlists

10 FEATURE hazing

12 FOOD & DRINK gigi & big r, fried chicken, soul food glossary

yarn bombing

18

yarn bombing, top 5 west philly art

lolcat memes, easter egg hunt, top 10, SHOUTOUTS ARE COMING SOON

17

10

Come to the Street meeting on your way to seeing Titanic 3–D! We'll never let go.

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

mad libs 34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

Thanks Dr. Garza!

hazed & confused

20 BACKPAGE

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tits fall off. Or until they’re full.

Whatever they are most comfortable with.

Then we give them the haircuts that are most flattering for their face shapes.

As a final task, we make them buy first–class tickets back to Philly. And then burn them.

At which point, Frida’s dad buys everybody ice cream and gives them a ride back to Penn.

lolcat memes of the week

16 ARTS

18 LOWBROW

Street does not haze. Whenever new members join staff, we… actually don’t do anything. We put them on the editors listserv.

But if Street DID haze, it would go something like this: Newbies are kidnapped from their homes over Christmas break.

Bound and ball–gagged, they are loaded into a 1991 Ford Escort, and forced to listen to Papa Roach all the way to El Paso.

Then we take them to a church picnic. YOU HUNGRY FOR JESUS? Next up are trust falls across the Mexican border. Loser has to stay.

Everyone who is still with us has to eat churros until their

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Twinkle Toes Joe Pinsker, The Grinch Who Stole Ice Breakers Adrian Franco, Douche Tenderloin Hilary Miller, Free Willy Chloe Bower, Pretty Pretty Prowler Sarah Tse, Little Miss Sunshine Laura Francis, Tits McGee Zeke Sexauer, Indian in the Cupboard Paige Rubin, Kitty Pubin Zacchiaus Mckee, Mr. T Faryn Pearl, Fuzzy Wuzzy Patrick Ford–Matz, Fatrick Tucker Johns, Moan Rivers

Nina Wolpow, SnACK AttACK Colette Bloom, Bloomin' Onion Leah Steinberg, Likes Yogurt Sam Brodey, Chodey Frida Garza, Garzanzo Bean Daniel Felsenthal, Mufasa Alex Hosenball, The Goo Ellie Levitt, The Thomas Campbell of Philadelphia Megan Ruben, Minnie Mouse Anthony Khaykin, Brosef Stalin Sandra Rubinchik, Brosef Stalin's Wife's Name Alexa Nicolas, Kate Middleton Lauren Reed–Guy, Silent but Deadly Ben Lerner, ThreeOhEight Patrick Del Valle, The Other One

34st.com Inna Kofman, Innastasia Ali Jaffe, Really Fucking Important Elena Gooray, Goober Katie Giarla, Just Being Miley Cover Photo: Sarah Tse Contributors: Lin zheng, Isabel Oliveres, Dorian Mendoza, Olivia Rutigliano, Brian Whorewich, Jefe Moore, Dowager Countess Spooky, Naked Men, Kim Pinsker, Valerie Remitz

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor––in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898–6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

"We saw more dicks in physics class than ever before."

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a–okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

TWEETS ILLUSTRATED

You tweeted, we listened, you voted, we illustrated. Highbrow’s Tweet of the Week gets a little more… graphic this week.

@Alancumming I got signed into a student dorm last night #stillgotit

THEROUNDUP

at

Female Model Congress senator: Pornography is great.

I’m not opposed to the occasional light BDSM. Girl on Locust: Ugh, if I don’t get into heaven I swear I’m going to kill God! Guy at Smoke’s: I’ve never been here before!

Is this it?

Drunk chick: We’re all cool and I think that we should celebrate it.

Girl: I’m trying to see if student health can cover acupuncture. I just think I need to re–center…

BY ZACCHIAUS MCKEE

I

blame my parents. They’re emotional wrecks.

My mother has no "average" setting. She’s always manically happy, severely depressed or feverishly angry. My father has to make an ordeal out of every small thing. He breaks down every time he opens a Christmas present from me. He makes superfluously long speeches about meatloaf. It’s incredible. So it’s no surprise that I turned out that way. I’m a crier.

According to Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson, crying is only acceptable at “funerals and the Grand Canyon.” This is the one and only place where Ron Swanson and I disagree. Crying is almost always acceptable, at least for me.

We live in a pressure cooker of exams, papers, and impossibly long walks to DRL. It’s healthy to let out some of that frustration once in a while or, in my case, more than once in a while.

How many times have I cried today alone? Two: once while thinking about my perfectly healthy grandmother and once while watching some cat videos on YouTube. I cried yesterday while watching the most recent episode of Bones. But that’s not surprising, I cry during every episode of Bones without fail.

I never really realized I cried more than other people until pretty late in my teens, probably because most of my crying isn’t done in public. I don’t have breakdowns in Van Pelt or in class.

I’m a stable human, I promise. I don’t go for the all out sob–till–you–can’t–breathe crying.

It’s more of the solitary–tear–running–down– your–cheek crying because Fievel finally found his family in America. In any case, I probably cry more than you. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Some people think of crying as a sign of weakness. And I began to wonder why this was the case. Was it about showing emotion? Emotional people can never be strong, that would be too outrageous. Granted, my crying while watching The Lion King for the 30th time isn’t exactly equivalent to an Ultimate Fighting cage match, but that doesn’t mean emotional people are weak. We just enjoy venting about our feelings. Sure, I might tear up while listening to Alanis Morissette (she just gets me) but I can still wait outside for Tiesto tickets listening to couples make out all around me (and if that’s not strength, I don’t know what is).

This is the story of a boy, who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And I want to make you all criers like me. If you don’t do it that often, you should just make yourself cry.

You’ll feel better. Trust me; it’s cathartic. No matter what’s bothering you, some Tears of a Clown will help you through it.

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

Ah, senior societies, the staple of ivy–covered universities everywhere. Highbrow was passed over for Ego this year (those bitches), but we didn’t want to be in Sphinx anyway. Don’t worry, though, we still got the down low low– down.

Not everyone was a happy camper while getting tapped for senior societies this week. Sources tell us Friars were being a bit too rowdy when they visited one female inductee’s house, to the point where her housemates thought they were being robbed. Apparently, one of them was so scared that she hid in her closet and called the cops. Maybe try being a little more stealth next time, guys.

But why let Friars have all the fun? Mortarboard covered their inductees in clam juice and chocolate from head–to–toe. Hmm, cops or clam juice? We’ll take what’s behind door number three, please.

You may think it’s hard getting into Blarney with a fake ID, but some of us have bigger problems. We hear ATO has been banned for life from the Irish establishment, after a 40–person brawl angered the managers and staff.

Not sure how they’d enforce that, but Highbrow hears the brothers have been keeping their distance, hitting up Copa and Smoke’s instead.

It looks like Tabard girls are finally in the home stretch of their pledging, ending a semester of vicarious embarrassment for all of us. Congrats, girls! But that doesn’t mean they’re getting off easy. In a task that was tres Parisien, the girls had to sport mime make–up and walk down Locust, carrying umbrellas and miming along the way. We’re also told that some had to don swim caps while others were asked to draw on unibrows for a look that was possibly avant–garde, but probably just bizarre. Keep on keeping on, freshies, pretty soon you’ll be sisters and you’ll get to inflict this torture on others. Loves it!

Hot Highbrow fashion tip #672: nothing spices up an outfit like some bodily fluids. For girls modeling the trend, look no further than SDT. At a frat party last week, sources spotted three of the sorority’s freshmen get in the way of some projectile vomiting by frat brothers. Yuck. Unfortunately for them, the bathrooms were either occupied or off–limits so the girls wandered the party for a while covered in puke before opting to go home and clean up.

Really brings a new meaning to the phrase “sick outfit,” doesn’t it?

over heard PENN

CRY ME A RIVER

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

EGO

FLYERING: THE UNTOLD STORY Everyone has to flyer on Locust Walk at some point in their lives. What you probably didn’t know is that everyone involved hates it. Or maybe you did know. Regardless, Ego talked to some flyerers about their experience. Maybe it’ll make your inevitable time on the Walk a little less unbearable. BY FARYN PEARL is interested in ON Not everyone TI A e S N E S R LA perform. But on ONE SINGU n a capella group ga d ve l ow ra cr tu e ul th tic in ul seeing your m that one person cking ur mission: find Yo . be ill w ethod: target fu on m rs pe ur Yo . st re te e actual in who shows som get e flier and try to th t everyone. ou ld ho st nique mes, I ju try a new tech ht “For the fast ti ig m I . le ib The as poss my hands out. ld as many people ho d an e dl , West the mid Class of 2015 and stand in n, Yi er et P ” nique. 'block ’em' tech 2014, rs ge Glade, Class of l Philly Swin he ac R ” t. ac e cont “I try to make ey Penn Jazz

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

GIVE TH EM THE OLD RAZ DAZZLE ZL Surprise!

Just exten E your hand ding into a pers on’s face w get them to ill not take your fl course, yo yer (unless u li ,o face — rem terally stick it in th f eir ember, aim Try to ap for the eye peal to all s) . of your ta senses — rget’s from sight to sound. free food a Also, lways help s. But you know that should by now.

“Sometim es we brin g instrum out — we ents play the p iano. One makes up kid so Rachel Gla ngs and sings them d .”

“Be aggre e, Penn Jazz ssive, pla y music have a re and ally good banner.”

Davis, Cla Kiara ss of 201 4, Penn H ype

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memEANS Re M IT T A yerees WH , not the fl IND OUT rs F re , e y -T fl -C ale R-E-S-P-E kes flyering. Not th o bear in mind that, li S e s. o obn xber, no on ainly not the EcoRep eing super b , n o ti rt n e e c att invites and most ill get their oing quiet w d d st u ju lo s g e in m though be ere. Someti t you nowh e g l il ctive. it, and w s u io ck about t more effe ri lo p a s is u k io o get x o o on Faceb be an obn ay, but you won’t of to is t c n w ti s t “The ins ow, Clas flyers tha Zach Zarr give out .” l w il o w h s u r o y ou come to y . I like people to interested ithz z m a I’ J s n s n e le 2012, P hat it is w noying un can see w ype yers is an fl u o g y in e tt s e u a G “ H ec avis, Penn rs better b the banne mbarded.” Kiara D bo out being

FRIEN D someo SHIP IS MAGI ne to C Eve b BFF s ry cream itch with. ing by Flyerin thing is be loathin tt your s g, but ide no g is no diff er when yo memb gives y t u have e rent. H only q er: rea ou ext u l r “It’s better friends take a leverage w ells your ine aving your hen ta vitable your fl togeth to be rg ye s e Class r alleviate in groups. rs, no matt eting people elf– er wha d the . Reof 20 The t 15, S t. hree “Be r pain of co ea o teed s lly loud w ut Banana f flyering.” us being he he ell.” S Tiffan arah A n you find y Jord re an, ppead a u, Cla friend. Th ss of a t ’ s a 2015 , Pen guarann Hyp e

IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME Like auditioning for a movie or searching for a professor to write you a letter of recommendation, you’re going to get hit with a lot of rejection. Thick skin is necessary, even if it’s aesthetically not pleasing.

“People are going to ignore you, so just deal with that.” Patel Kartavya, Grad Student, PenNaatak “Don’t take it personally when people don’t take a flyer: it’s not you, it’s the stress of going to class.” Ivi Etomi, Class of 2014, Scout Banana

I THINK WE’VE A HERE TO L DAY No o L LEARNED A ne likes fly LESSON “People erin suck! It’s interestin g. No one. avert our g fl anyway!’ yer. It’s like, ‘We to watch people ” Nanett ll I don’t li e Nunu, Hype ke you Class of 2014, P “You sign enn u forever. P p for an hour shif t and it ju eople ha te being pressing st takes ignored. after a w It gets d hile. And this even ethen you e think, ‘Is 2015, Sc ffective?’” Beck y Bailey, out Bana na Class of

Fresh off Fashion Week, this Chief Sphinx knows everything. Or maybe that's her sister.

Street: What fashion trends should we know about?

Anita Saggurti: Neon.

That’s why I wore my bright blue pants and bright red shoes. It’s fantastic. And masculine cuts, hence the jackets. As for out … the Ugg boots with the fuzz on the outside. Those were out the minute people landed on the moon.

Street: What’s one magical thing you wish you could have from the Harry Potter universe?

AS: I would probably take the Invisibility Cloak. Because I could spy on people.

It would be fun to go around and not get in trouble ever.

Street: If you were chosen to compete in the Hunger Games, how would you survive?

AS: I’m not athletic, so I think I would do what one of those girls did and pretend

that I’m really weak. And that’s where the Invisibility Cloak would come in handy!

I would just go invisible and no one would know where the fuck I was. See! Brought it back.

Street: What’s your secret talent?

AS: I can rap in an Indian accent. It’s just something that comes to me naturally.

I started by making fun of my mother who talked in an Indian accent. I started using the accent when my mom wasn’t involved, and then I started rapping with it. And I’ve never looked back.

Street: Who’s your alter ego?

AS: My sister is probably my alter ego simply because she looks exactly like me and talks exactly like me and acts exactly like me. There was a moment in high school when I walked up the stairs and I

saw my sister talking to my best friend. And I was like, how am I over there when I’m over here? And that was probably the dumbest moment that I’ve ever had.

Street: What’s your sister’s name?

AS: Vinita Saggurti.

Street: Anita?

AS: Vinita.

Street: Vinita! Wow, even your names are similar.

AS: I named her. All the women in my family have rhyming names. My aunts are Ronni and Vonni.

Street: There are two kinds of people at Penn…

AS: Those who love champagne and those who don’t.

Guess which category I am?

Street: What does your PennCard picture look like?

hummus grill make it a feast!

AS: It’s one of those webcam pictures.

I’m just staring into the depths of the camera. It’s pretty good, actually.

Street: Those usually are.

AS: I know!

Because it doesn’t look anything like you.

Street: If you could swim in a pool of anything, what would it be?

AS: Nutella and peanut butter.

First of all, freaking best things in the entire world. If I swim in it, I could eat it and no one would really notice.

And an entire tub of it? A dream.

Street: What’s one thing that you wish you knew as a freshmen?

AS: I was really creepy as a freshman and stalked this campus before I got here.

Street: So you knew everything?

AS: Yeah, like I knew that there’s an underground tunnel if you go underneath the Ben Franklin statue.

Street: I think you should just write a guide.

AS: “Anita’s Secret Hideaways at Penn.”

There are a lot.

Street: How do you know all this?

AS: I talk to people.

I have my sources.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

make it a success!

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

feast special feeds 25 for only $199

place orders in advance of your event offer available exclusively online

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

EGOOF THE WEEK: ANITA SAGGURTI

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

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highbrow ego film music feature arts food & drink lowbrow

LOL

FILM

FILM REVIEWS

THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY PLEASE WHEDON DELIVERS AGAIN

Whit Stillman’s Damsels needs little rescuing

Cabin in the Woods continues the foray into genre sub-

It would be belittling to place version that the director began years ago Damsels in Distress — a fun, dark The brainchild of Joss Whedon, The Cabin in the comedy about three prim girls and Woods artfully redefines horror films in an awe–intheir nonplussed friend who cruspiring way. Cabin plays on standard horror tropes sade against the ‘male barbarism’ at with its distinctively 80s feel, following five friends their college — in the ordinary ‘war that travel to an abandoned cabin in the middle of of the sexes’ genre. It’s a charming, the woods (but it's not quite as cliche as it sounds). complicated coming–of–age farce However, the central tenet of the movie isn’t the (full of deadpan acting, relationship horror, but rather the refreshingly unique storyline disasters, borderline mental illness, and laugh–out–loud comedy. In fact, the viewer alternate identities, elaborate dance may forget Cabin’s genre until the first hardcore numbers, chivalry, Romans and rainbows) where an ensemble cast highlights evdeath (approximately half an hour into the movie). ery painful, terrible, hopeful aspect of modern boy/girl interactions. The cinemaWhile the writing can be a bit trite at times, the tography is sunny, and the dialogue, which parodies the language of frat boys, movie successfully subverts the horror genre, which New England liberal arts students and preppy girls, never fails to amuse. Told in has steadily been declining into “torture porn” and chapters, the plot of this adept satire stagnates when it should rise, but the film (a gritty reboots as of late. poker-faced Animal House in a dress) is still a heroic effort, and quite capable of Go into this movie knowing as little about the plot as possible. No matter your – Olivia Rutigliano stance on horror films, you won’t regret it. defending itself.

– Zacchiaus McKee

instant watch

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

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of the week

PUNCH–DRUNK LOVE Eternal Sunshine for the less whimsical mind If I should make the claim that Adam Sandler may not be the greatest actor that ever lived, would anybody argue against me? Paul Thomas Anderson’s Punch–Drunk Love might change your mind.

Each of PTA’s films has its own distinct flavor, though a majority of them are epic in scale, from There Will Be Blood to Boogie Nights; Punch– Drunk Love differs from its directorial brethren by about an hour and a half in length. Indeed, Anderson manages to tell a detailed, quirky tale (almost Gondry– or Coen–esque) in about half the time. Focusing on struggling bathroom supply salesman Barry Eagan, Punch–Drunk Love meanders through its too–short run–time with a mundane surrealism; nothing explicitly bizarre happens, but Barry’s life is complicated by myriad weird events, including blackmail, an excess of pudding and the film’s trademark harmonium.

An excellent character study of an emotionally–fragile, socially awkward male, Punch–Drunk Love is a tour de force, supplemented by a beautiful, harmonium–pockmarked soundtrack. Want to feel good? Check it out. Want to laugh? Check it out. Want a dose of culture, self–reflection and talent from the great mind behind Jack & Jill? Then … check it out.

— Alex Hosenball

CIRCUIT

The 2012 Student Film Festival may have gone under your radar, but it didn’t go under Street’s — here’s a look into and behind the funny and chilling pieces you may have missed. BY OLIVIA RUTIGLIANO

T

here’s a story many as- festival split the premieres into piring filmmakers know thirds, showing each batch at a — probably because different College House. The it’s a ‘George Washington and fourth night, three winners are the Cherry Tree’–style trope of chosen. This year, Fine Arts mainstream film history — that student Connie Ko’s animated, tells of a youthful Steven Spiel- avant–garde Bartok’s Traction berg, back when he interned at Factory won third place, CinUniversal Studios. In 1968, so ema Studies and English major the story goes, the young cine- Dylan Hansen–Fliedner’s exphile made a short film called perimenAmblin’, a film so precocious tal piece that Sid Sheinberg, Universal’s about the Vice President, watched it and mind on subsequently offered him a job. LSD, ExThe moral of this story is a clear alted, took warning never to underestimate s e c o n d , a 20–something–year–old with and gradupersistence and a movie cam- ate student era.

Noam OsLast week, Penn celebrated band’s grim documentary of similar student visionaries — an Arkansas livestock auction, Penn’s annual Student Film Searcy County, won first. The Festival, an observance of 44 films made by the 12 finalstudent–made short films rang- ists were of varied genres, but ing in genre from documenta- were meticulously constructed ries to fantasies to montages. and cleverly composed. While The first three nights of the many of the films were created Still from Searcy County by Noam Osband

“

for Penn’s filmmaking classes, others had been churned out as individual projects. Ko says of her film, an amalgam of grainy animation and naturalist footage set to a backwards Bartok piece she recorded with friends, “For my Fine Arts senior thesis, I was experimenting with ways to capture stream of conscious-

a feeling you get about Chinatown — I tried to capture it.”

And Sam Pasternack says of his Call Me Anything, a documentary about guitarist and Wharton student Ronnie DiSimone, “When you’re given the opportunity to make a documentary in a class like Video I, you better find an interesting subject. At Penn, that’s not too hard to do. Every doc subject should be like Ronnie.”

The film festival submissions seek to raise awareness of obscure subjects, or focus exclusively on special concepts; the short film is a concise, microscopic medium that can illuminate the unnoticeable, or capture the fleeting, as well as recount a meaningful story.

Laura Bowes’s dark comedy Lemons, for example, is a witty, wry play on the simple concept of making the best of a terrible day, while Osband’s Searcy County is a steady day–in–the– life peek at unfamiliar reality.

“I wanted to capture that small world,” says Osband, who studies anthropology.

Short film is a concise, microscopic medium that can illuminate the unnoticeable.

FESTIVAL

1. Noam Osband — Searcy County Osband’s entry features an extended foray into the eerie, almost Deliverance–esque world of cattle auctions in Searcy County, Arkansas.

2. Dylan Hansen–Fliedner — Exalted Hansen–Fliedner brings us a realistic, if experimental, look into the effects of LSD — just picture yourself in a boat on a river.

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

Still from Exalted by Dylan Hansen–Fliedner

ness and thought processes. I’d been striking out this entire past semester, so I went home over Spring Break to start over and return to my roots.” Timothy Lee, whose Chinatown is a neon–lit montage of the titular district at night, says, “There’s

Enthusiastically promoted by Nicola Gentili, Associate Director of the Cinema Studies program, the Penn Student Film Festival is the perfect environment for film education. Hansen–Fliedner plans on making a career out of his win; he’s started a production company with friends, “Lunar Cycle Productions,” and expects to expand his repertoire in short form, as well as other artistic areas.

Penn’s Student Film Festival reinforces the importance of making films to understand them in both technical and academic lights. These thesis–like shorts are part of Penn’s underground curriculum, where learning is accomplished by creating. “I think that anyone can make a film,” Hansen–Fliedner grins, “and I think that everyone should.” This is the age of the short film — an era when YouTube videos stream incessantly, and where there are two Academy Award categories for short subject pieces. Film education is rarely promoted at this level, which is a wonderful development that will allow students to become filmmakers, and filmmakers to remain students.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

THE

3. Connie Ko — Bartok’s Traction Factory Ko takes us on a trippy ride through classical music and the artistic mind, but make sure not to let the haunting music linger in your thoughts at night.

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

LOL

BEATSON THESTREET

MUSIC Nicki Minaj Roman Reloaded

In which we stop Locust Walkers and ask them what they're listening to

Combining hip–hop, rap and pop, Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded serves up classic Nicki while exhibiting a definite change in her unique style of music. Her rap lyrics are fresh and gripping, set against hard, thumping beats that reverberate through you. The rap–heavy first half of the album fades, however, into a pop–infused second half that, while tremendously catchy, sounds decidedly un–Nicki with its heavy reliance on piano and string instruments. “Marilyn Monroe” offers up a ballad that is quieter in tone and has little of the standard, in–your– face Nicki attitude, while several tracks (“Automatic,” “Va Va Voom”) sound so generically churned out with their electronic dance club beats that they’re hard to tell apart. It’s clear Nicki Minaj is trying to both compete with her pop contemporaries and appease all of her fans, but the effort tends to fall flat. Despite its faults, Roman Reloaded offers irresistibly listenable tracks and a surprisingly more pop–influenced Nicki, but doesn’t skimp on the traditional Barbie bitch.

— Zacchiaus McKee

Shaye “This” Modeselektor feat. Thom Yorke

Bear in Heaven I Love You, It's Cool

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

Bear in Heaven follow up their wonderful album Beast Rest Forth Mouth with the same goth dance–pop that caught our eye back in 2009. The album is headed by the infectious lead single “Reflection of You,” which explores the space somewhere between Beach House and M83. It’s a groovy yet sophisticated take on a retro dance track, done to perfection. The rest of the album soars through speakers with a confidence that will undoubtedly bring the band more and more recognition. And while the album is nothing new for the trio, tracks like “Sinful Nature” will leave you wondering why you haven’t taken a good listen to this band before.

— Dorian Mendoza

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James: “The Party Song” Blink–182

Sarah: “My Body” Young the Giant

Tom: “I’m Me" Lil Wayne

Falling into a musical rut when it comes to your workout? Feeling stuck with the same old songs can sap the energy from your routine. Music's got some artist recommendations to pump up your jam, whether that's killin' it at the Pottruck treadmill or… power–walking. That's still a workout, right?

By frida garza and sam brodey

Playing Basketball

Running in Pottruck

Justice: Make Pottruck your personal club with this French duo’s techno jams. They’re dirty, high–energy and sure to pump up your run. Check out “Phantom Pt. II” and “D.A.N.C.E.” Passion Pit: Not just for Flinging anymore — these guys will also liven up a routine run on the treadmill. Their electro–pop blend produces upbeat, catchy and just plain feel–good tracks to work out to. Check out “Little Secrets” and “Make Light.”

Rihanna: If you’re looking for extra fuel for your run, look no further. Rihanna has enough fresh beats and girl power to boost your motivation and bring you one step closer to that runner’s high. Check out “You Da One” and “Birthday Cake.”

Lifting

Skrillex: Yeah, we said it. Haters will hate, but the fact is, his hard–edged dubstep will put you in the zone to conquer the most intense workouts. Check out “Kill Everyone” and “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites.”

Rage Against the Machine: Nothing like a little metal to help you lift some iron.

Rage’s screaming guitars and charged lyrics will put the badass back in your lifting routine.

Check out “Bulls on Parade” and “Killing in the Name.”

Drake: Not into that super–intense workout music? Drake’s tracks boast great rhymes and a chill vibe, with an undeniable aura of confidence. You’ll bring that swag into the 2nd floor weight room at Pottruck. Check out “HYFR” and “I’m on One.”

Jay–Z: So maybe you don't own an NBA team like Hove does, but that doesn't mean you can't jam to his music while shooting some hoop. Look to this hip–hop legend's slick rhymes and masterfully–crafted beats for a shot of his classic Brooklyn swag — which'll serve you well on the court. Check out "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" and "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)."

RJD2: This genius instrumental DJ is good for a lot more than opening up Mad Men. If you're looking for some calming warm–up music before a big game, or just something chill to shoot around to, RJD2's rich, multi–instrumental compositions are ideal. Check out "Ghostwriter" and "Final Frontier."

People Under the Stairs: For those times when you don't really need to ball so hard, turn to this solid L.A. hip–hop duo. They're less Pottruck courts and more backyard barbeque — their laid–back sound and upbeat outlook make for the perfect soundtrack to a relaxed afternoon outside, shooting around with friends. Check out "San Francisco Knights" and "The Hang Loose."

highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

I WORK OUT

Running Outside M83: With their wide tonal range and all–around good vibes, M83 is guaranteed to plant a smile on your sweating, panting face. Just don’t try to sing along to the background vocals in “Midnight City” while you’re breakin’ up the concrete. Check out “Raconte–Moi Une Histoire” and “Year One, One UFO.”

Real Estate: Atmospheric tunes for your picturesque run by the Schuylkill. The jingle–jangle of Real Estate’s laid–back vibes is surprisingly infectious and great for a slower roll. Check out “Kinder Blumen” and “Wonder Years.”

Power–Walking

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34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

Foster the People: The next time you take a power–lap around campus, turn on Foster the People to transform into a secret agent preparing to save the world. Their snappy tempos and killer synth–infused choruses will make you feel super stealthy — if you can resist the urge to dance your way down Spruce. Check out “Call It What You Want” and “Helena Beat.”

Kanye: We do not have enough good words to say about this hip–hop legend. We recommend turning to Kanye’s lyrical flow, irresistible beats and dope musical arrangements, whether you’re power–walking on the treadmill or on Locust, or when you just wanna say fuck the haters. Check out “The New Workout Plan” and “POWER.” Sleigh Bells: People say power–walking isn’t legit. Prove 'em wrong. Put on Sleigh Bells during your next workout — or rush to class — and try not to feel like a boss. Their monstrous guitar riffs and infectious beats will put a spring in your step and give you the juice to take on any walk – "power" or not. Check out “Crown on the Ground” and “Comeback Kid.”

Best Coast: Run like you got the California sun shining down your back. These catchy beachcomber tunes will keep you so pumped that you’ll forget you’re listening to another bad break–up song. Check out “Crazy for You” and “Goodbye.”

MileCenter.com 9

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lark, a junior whose name has been changed to protect his identity, has been a member of a fraternity and five different student organizations on campus that employ some sort of hazing practice. “They’re great stories. It helps create a unified baseline; we instantaneously have something to talk about because we went through this ridiculous experience together.”

He paused for a moment to reflect, leaning back in his chair as if he were recalling a fond childhood memory. Plenty of organizations around campus make a point of keeping their hazing practices hush-hush: “when a group has secrets about how they haze their new members, it helps build a bond because you get to have your little stories and inside jokes that no one else knows about.” For Clark, those were hours spent in dark basements or nights coming home wasted and covered in a soup of unidentifiable substances.

But he loved it.

“At the end of the day it’s the stories that bring us together, not the hazing.” What he says may be true, but the pervasiveness of Penn's hazing culture speaks to something

BY CHLOE BOWER AND PATRICK DEL VALLE that runs deeper in the fabric of our university.

H

azing has been a part of Penn for over 100 years, and the pervasive belief that hazing is good and necessary existed just as much in the early days as it does today. "It is good fun and it does a young fellow a lot of good to go through that kind of experience," remarked a 1910 graduate of the University in The Evening Post, "It teaches him to shut his jaws tight, to bear pain unflinchingly and to fight under a disadvantage."

Everyone knows that hazing happens around campus — that’s not what interested us.

It was why. Why has hazing culture developed the way it has at Penn? Why, when you take something as universal and seemingly timeless as hazing, and you let it germinate at a place like Penn, does it flourish? The concept of hazing is often reserved for Greek life; at Penn, its boundaries extend far beyond fraternities to include everything from academic organizations and a capella groups to senior honor societies and student govern-

ment.

Clark’s opinions on hazing seemed predictable — that hazing creates lasting bonds between its participants and gives way to hilarious stories of drunken debauchery. Ask any fraternity pledgemaster or senior society member why they haze and they’ll feed you some version of Clark’s theory about unity and bonding.

This idea about hazing certainly might hold true, but it still didn’t seem to explain the sheer breadth of hazing and its ubiquity in student life at Penn.

G

reg is a freshman who writes for a magazine on campus. When he was invited to the magazine’s “initiation” he thought it was in jest: “they jokingly posed it sort of like a fraternity thing; they came and slid an invitation under my door.” For the most part, it was a joke, with initiation tasks taking on a lighthearted feel. However, Greg noted that invitations to the initiation were only extended to those who showed a commitment to the magazine: “there was a level of exclusivity… you felt more connected

than the people who didn’t do it.”

When asked if he were given the choice to join one of two clubs, identical except for the fact that one had a form of initiation or hazing, Greg replied “I would choose initiation, even if it was not fun, over no initiation.” When asked why, he responded with a knowing grin, “people want to feel special.”

T

his desire to “feel special” was something that began to emerge as a trend among those we spoke to about hazing at Penn.

The idea that somehow hazing creates value in groups — that groups who haze are somehow perceived as more prestigious — was one that student after student began to emphasize.

Ryan, a Wharton freshman currently going through the pledging process in a Greek organization, was one who echoed this idea. “People here don’t want things to be easy” he said assuredly, “we want there to be barriers to entry; if everyone could do everything, things would lose value.” In true Wharton fashion, he followed with “scarcity creates

value,” before catching himself — “No, exclusivity creates value; without exclusivity, there is far less allure to joining a group.”

Both Greg and Ryan saw initiations and hazing as ways of making members feel special, enclosed in a new and exclusive group of people that required these rites of passage to gain entrance. By making these groups ostensibly more difficult to join with something like hazing, it heightens the importance of that organization. And who doesn’t want to feel more important?

“A

s pledgemaster, I became acutely aware of the fact that hazing is illegal at Penn,” Brooke, a sorority “New Member Educator,” stated with a serious and thoughtful gaze. "But," she continued, “I wanted to haze and be hazed harder. I wanted more tasks. I wanted it to be more public.

I wanted to prove that I belonged, that I deserved to be a part of the organization, that it was all worth it.”

Much of Brooke’s thoughts on hazing had to do with its role as a status symbol: “If

you’re doing the craziest, most ridiculous, most public displays of hazing, then your group is the coolest, the most exclusive.” For groups not recognized by the university, who can publicly haze their pledges outside of the jurisdiction of the university, “they make it really public, so that people know that they are part of that group.”

“Something different about Penn,” noted Brooke, “is that to be cool is to be involved.”

Here, you are defined more than anything by what clubs and organizations to which you devote your time. In a place where nearly everyone is used to being recognized as special, “people want to stand out again.” But the logic goes that there is no use in involving yourself in an organization that anyone can join. Instead Penn students have a perpetual desire to work for the things they want.

OCR culture, as Brooke calls it, fosters an expectation among Penn students that, to be considered for the best opportunities, the process must be rigorous. "If you translate that to hazing, if you just become a member it's totally not as gratifying. You don’t feel as good about yourself as you

would if you had to suffer and earn your way into the group."

With a smirk, she concludes, “It’s like if Goldman [Sachs] was just giving away jobs, no one would care about it anymore.”

“Validation,” she said after a few quiet moments of pondering, glad to have found the word, “that’s what we’re seeking.” We haze and allow ourselves to be hazed for the bonds, for the stories, for the memories, but more than anything, for the validation. We want to validate ourselves and in the face of others by showing that we can do it and that we deserve to be distinguished.

S

o why is it that Clark, Greg, Ryan and Brooke each expressed a desire to be hazed more? Maybe it was simply the prospect of bonding with new friends.

Maybe it was to build solidarity within their groups.

Maybe it was to fulfil their innate human desire to belong to something larger than themselves. Or maybe it was something else entirely.

Maybe what many Penn students crave is differentiation.

It makes sense that a complex like this would develop among a student body like Penn's. At a place where acceptance rates are rapidly approaching single digits, many of us can’t help but throw ourselves at things that we hope will make us seem like we matter. To excel in academics, we study. To excel in the social sphere, we join groups.

To make those groups seem like they matter, we haze.

The grand irony of hazing and its motives is that, on one hand, hazing’s purpose is to bring people together, while, at the same time, Penn students endure hazing to differentiate themselves. Ultimately, that’s what all the onion–eating, food runs, scavenger hunts, binge drinking, goldfish–swallowing, sleep deprivation and “Hell Weeks” are about: bringing people together by setting them apart.

Chloe Bower and Patrick del Valle are freshmen, who are undeclared. They are from Long Island, NY and Seattle, WA, respectively.

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

said Clark, simply. If he was being at all sarcastic, he certainly concealed it well. Perhaps it was just our naive freshmen eyes that prevented us from understanding his statement. No one wants to be hazed, right? Just saying the word evokes thoughts of scandal, pain, humiliation and fear. Hazing is not only strictly prohibited on Penn’s campus, but it is also a criminal offense in the state of Pennsylvania. In certain situations around the country, hazing has been so extreme as to physically endanger those involved. Writing about such a taboo topic requires us to walk a fine line between implicating the organizations we are a part of and defending a practice that is clearly illegal. Yet, despite societal disapproval and legal restrictions, hazing is everywhere at Penn — not just in fraternity life, as it is in most colleges, but as a central part of extracurricular organizations as well. And we can’t help but wonder: why?

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“I wish I had been hazed more,”

11

SOUL ON SPRUCE What’s that you say? You’ve never been to Gigi & Big R’s? Even when there’s a line at Bui’s? Neither had we. But if you want soul food by campus, Gigi's hits the spot.

BY NINA WOLPOW

F

ried chicken, jerk chicken, fried fish: those are your options at Gigi and Big R's (unless you want oxtail). Then pick your style: sandwich ($7) or platter ($9), and stock up on sides. We opted for two platters (chicken breast with collard greens and mac 'n cheese and jerk chicken with string beans) and a white fish sandwich. The sandwich is DIY — you’ll get two pieces of brown bread and your fish on the side, splashed with hot sauce or topped with ketchup. The chicken breast is huge, chock–full of all the stuff your mom and Whole Foods tell you not to eat. But if you get the craving, Gigi’s is a good spot to go for it. We loved the jerk chicken, which,

PHILLY FRIED Here are our five favorite fried chicken dishes in the city

1

like the rice and beans, was properly spicy. But our fav?

The cornbread ($1) that tastes nothing like cornbread.

Think apple–banana cake cut like a cornbread wedge — thick. Delish.

3 A VERS RY WE I NN

2

MEME – 2201 Spruce Street Available only on Thursday for lunch, the fried chicken ($11) comes with the side of the day, a biscuit and a Miller High Life. It might be a weird schedule, but this chicken is worth checking out, even if it means missing Thursday class.

FEDERAL DONUTS – 1219 South 2nd St. You might have to grab a number and wait in line when the birds start coming out of the fryer at noon, but it’s worth it for your choice of crispy or glazed chicken ($8 for half, $15 for whole). We recommend the crispy harissa.

EK

A

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FOOD&DRINK

Three­Course Dinner $17.22*

2

RESURRECTION ALE HOUSE – 2425 Grays Ferry Ave. This spot is surprisingly close to campus, and it serves up an incredible twice–fried chicken ($14). The bird comes with a spicy honey, and Resurrection has an extensive beer menu to make sure you can wash it all down just right.

CAFE SOHO – 468 W. Cheltenham Ave. Michael Solomonov, the genius behind Zahav and Federal Donuts, calls this North Philly spot his favorite place for Korean fried chicken in the city. It might be a trek, but it’s worth it.

4

*Per person. Tax, alcohol and gratuity not included.

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

April 8 ­ 13 and April 15 ­ 20

12

2012

LeViet RESTAURANT & BAR

1019 S. 11th Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147 www.levietrestaurant.com 215.463.1570

5

JONES – 700 Chestnut St. This retro Stephen Starr joint is slightly uneven when it comes to food, but the chicken and waffles ($14) always hit the spot. It might sound like an unusual combination, but trust us, it’s perfect, especially when drenched in maple syrup.

HONORABLE MENTION: CHICK FIL–A Yeah, it may be fast food, and it may be closed on Sundays, but this Southern chain is seriously good for its strips, nuggets and hallmark chicken sandwich. There’s an express location at Drexel, but for the full Chick Fil–A experience, including fried chicken biscuits in the morning, head to the food court at the Shops at Liberty Place or the Gallery at Market East.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

ST

Don't want to go out? Try your hand at these easy, homemade strips

DO YOU PAY PER VIEW?

How Penn Students Watch Movies

BY NINA WOLPOW

1. Place chicken strips in refrigerator. Pour

breadcrumbs ontoyou a platter ornd cookie Film polled to fi outsheet. howBeat you are getting your Sunday egg yolks and placeHere’s in medium–sized bowl. movie fixes. what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN

Borrow from Library

2. Placehough a large,wehigh–walled skilletwatch over high all know the Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that Penn stuheat. Melt butter and add chopped onion, stir of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their Internet is for porn fit this mold and reduce heat.

Allow onions to cook until (thanks Avenue Q), the League students well, with only RomCom fix online with free golden.

Addis flno our, mix and y to17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel bedroom longer the leave only briefl about area being to digital watching movies at the Rave ev- and Ch131 rather than pay for thicken.

Addceded chicken brothterriand cream, creating every girlfrequently. with daddy’s ery semester. services provided by Netflix and atory. thickFor sauce.

Stir AmEx, window browsing on But how about the other ste- Redbox?

3.colRemoveWhile chicken strips fridge.

Fifth Avenue has been replaced reotype, the one that says all 75% of usfrom watch movAdd egg yolks to the sauce, mix thorwith online shopping. And lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for heat.Bosses Begin— a FYEs everywhere have virtu- movement of informationoughly made and it. remove I hear from Horrible the chicken strips into sauce ally been rendered useless (pun possible by the interweb dipping makes new release on iTunesthe — is hysand then onto the breadcrumbs, causing intended) with the existence of terical, but is to adhere. crumbsthe Whose recommendationsthem do you take? Sprinkle extra the multifarious iTunes store. it worth where47.7% they did not stick. Allow 50 Things are no different here 1.5 strips saladstoat Other cool.

Then dip each in egg yolk and into at Penn, where the Rave gets Sweetgreen 40% 40 A Friend bread crumbs again. nearly half the traffic for the it would Cinema Studies midnight screenings of blockhave cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% 4.

Layhits paper towel out a surface. buster like Twilight as on Hulu I had seen it Professor or TA 20 Clean the day skillet andthereturn it to the stove. does the after newest in theaters?

Street Fill halfway with oil airs. and heat episode of 30 Rock This until 10it boils Ramen noo*Students surveyed were allowed to choose more gently.

UsingWe tongs, chicken strips makes sense.

Pennplace students dles aren’t than one option.

0 on inareoil too and busy cook until lightly browned procrastinating that bad, I both sides.InTouch Removeand from oil and place on on Penn designguess. paper towellacrosse to drainpinnies grease.for entertainment accessible and ing funny The average Penn student theServe clubs hot we’re involved in to inexpensive to anyone with an (who is anything but average, if 5. with your favorite condileave the comfort of our beds to AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watchment.

T

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WHAT YOU NEED:

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1 medium onion Free Streaming 47.7% 1/2 stick butter 16.9% Paid Online Services 3/4 cup chicken stock 1/2 cup heavy cream 9.2% 2 egg yolks 2 chicken cutlets, sliced into one– inch strips 1.5% Breadcrumbs eggs Why do2–3 yoularge go tobrown the movies?

Oil 3.1% 6.3% Other

25%

It's a way to hang out with friends

40.6%

25%

es seven movies, more or less, every semester. Simple arithmetic proves that it’s $40 cheaper to watch said movies on Netflix than at the Rave, and an additional $20 less on iTunes (cost of popcorn and Mike and Ikes not included in these calculations). The low cost of watching seven movies on iTunes for less than 30 bucks is worth the many conveniences that online paid services afford us: not being interrupted by incessant buffering and commercials, the immunity to computer viruses and most importantly, not having to wait 54 minutes after watching 72 minutes of a movie on Megavideo.

Not to mention, it’s a small price to pay when you look at the big picture — the combined savings of the 47.7% of Penn students who pay for their online services rather than going to the movie theater is somewhere between $196,136 and $295,344, depending on whether they use Netflix or iTunes, respectively.

Moral of the story is: we won't judge if you just stay in bed. *A simple random sample of 100 Penn undergrads were surveyed to collect data about their film viewing habits.

It's a good study break It makes you feel relaxed and happy Required for Class

BY THE NUMBERS

$153,701 >> Total amount of money spent in movie theaters* by Penn students each semester

$196,136

>> Total amount of money spent watching online, if all people who paid for online services used iTunes*

$295,344

>> Total amount of money spent watching online, if all people who paid for online services used Netflix* *$12.50/ticket at the Rave *$3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes *$7.99/month on Netflix

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

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8

DIY: FILM FRIED CHICKEN FINGERS

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highbrow ego film music feature food & drink arts lowbrow

At Street we like our chicken fried and our beer cold on a Thursday night

SOUL FOOD GLOSSARY

BY TUCKER JOHNS

Fried chicken – We all know this one. Chicken is coated in seasoned flour and then deep fried. Check out our recommendations for the best fried chicken dishes in Philly on page 12.

Cornbread – There are so many iterations of cornbread these days that it’s easy to forget that the traditional variety is made with buttermilk and bacon fat and cooked in a skillet.

Hushpuppies – Think of them as cornbread’s fried, bite–sized cousins. that connects pigs' feet to their legs. It’s Hushpuppies are balls of cornmeal, naturally tough, so most preparations which are deep–fried and served hot. see the hock stewed or braised for hours to ensure tenderness. It’s often cooked with collard greens or cabbage to add a distinctive flavor.

Come to our writers' meeting tonight at 6:30 at 4015 Walnut

Ham hock

– The hock is the joint

It's not too late to get involved!

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Black–eyed peas

– We’re not talking about you, Fergie. These distinctive beans are usually cooked with Pigs' feet – Yes, these are exact- a pork product (bacon or ham bones) ly what they sound like. The feet are and onion and served with hot sauce. usually salted, smoked and preserved in a vinegar brine to be eaten later as a snack.

Okra – Okra is actually a flowering plant related to hibiscus, but its seedpods are popular as additions to stews and gumbos or fried and served solo.

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

Grits – Try finding these on a break-

fast menu north of the Mason–Dixon.

Coarsely–ground corn is cooked with water to form a sort of porridge, which is often served with cheese, butter or gravy.

FOLLOW US ON @TheRaidUS

LIKE US ON

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY GARETH EVANS

www.facebook.com /TheRaidUS

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Sweet potato pie

– Similar to pumpkin pie in many ways, sweet potato pie is typically served around the holidays. The flavor of the filling comes primarily from the mashed sweet potatoes and nutmeg or cinnamon, and a slice of pie is often topped off with a dollop of whipped cream.

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34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

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LOL

ARTS

WEST PHILLY WONDERS

Can’t wait for Fling to provide you with icaphila.org stimulating visuals? Just take a short walk to one of these on–campus art hubs and soak 1. The ICA in April’s array of talent.

BY LIN ZHENG

Noticed the massive inflatable blow–up monkeys resting on 118 S. 36th St. a patio at 36th and Sansom? No, it's not a used car sale, Thu.–Fri., 11–6 p.m. but part of Stefan Sagmeister's "The Happy Show" that Sat.–Sun., 11–5 p.m. opened yesterday. Based on his half–decade exploration of happiness, during which Sagmeister has experimented with meditation, therapy and pharmaceuticals, the graphic designer's show includes pie charts and penises. He has taken advantage of every inch of the ICA, even using a Sharpie to inscribe messages in the bathrooms and the elevator. Also showing in the first–floor galleries until April 12 is "First Among Equals," a show featuring Phillly and Los Angeles artists who have used concepts of negotiation and cooperation within their multimedia work.

3. Green Line Cafe on Locust 40streetair.blogspot.com

2. 40th Street Air

You haven’t realized the awesome po- 4007 Chestnut St. tential of puppets and storytelling until Fri., 3–7 p.m. you’ve seen the work of Beth Nixon, whose cardboard and paper–mache creations have delighted audiences in parades, continent–traversing tours and theater productions. RETROSPECTACULAR!, her show that opened this month, will revive your inner child with puppets that sometimes play the role of sculptures and pinatas. We’ve heard the artist supports pinata–bashing as a development activity to release fears or anger. If you’re stressing over final papers, you know where to go.

Braid by Alicia Neal

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

4. The Slought Foundation

16

Is he a prisoner, a spy or just an illusory figure of the imagination? Through the constructed biography of his character Tulse Luper, avant–garde filmmaker Peter Greenaway, who has participated in festivals such as Cannes and Venice, recreates the history of the 20th century as a subjective experience. If you’re in the mood to be charmed or scandalized, stop by to see the exhibition titled 92 Suitcases, which will feature items ranging from Ingres paintings to erotic engravings to Vatican pornography.

4017 Walnut St. Thu.–Sat., 1–6 p.m.

Venture a little further beyond Penn’s borders to check out Green Line Cafe, which not only champions fair–trade coffee but also promotes local artists and musicians each month. Seasonal change and the coming of spring are some of the influences for Alicia Neal’s painterly illustrations. Her depictions of young women paired with delicate blossoms or mythological creatures are romantically reminiscent of Art Nouveau’s love for floral imagery and organic, undulating lines.

Also featured will be the work of Justin Grey, whose fantastical, creature–filled drawings will endear themselves most to fellow lovers of video games.

5. Metropolitan Bakery

When treating yourself to a coffee and pastry combo at Metro, don’t forget to take in the visual feast Philadelphia–based artist Chris Clark has prepared for you on the walls. Combining the techniques of spray paint stenciling, screen–printing and collage, Clark uses mixed media to achieve his layered and densely–textured prints. Interested in the steel and iron accomplishments of human engineering as well as nature, he superimposes flowering trees over silhouettes of bridges and building cranes to create striking graphic landscapes.

4013 Walnut St. Mon.–Fri., 7:30 a.m.–7 p.m.

Sat.–Sun., 8 a.m.–7 p.m.

Photo credit: Sarah Tse

4426 Locust St. Mon.–Sat., 7 a.m.–10 p.m.

Sun., 8 a.m.–8 p.m.

Jessie Hemmons makes knitting look as badass in a gallery as it does on the Philly streets BY ISABEL OLIVERES

Jaipal Singh

YARNBOMBING 101 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Now – April 11

The Art Gallery at City Hall Room 116, East Portal Market St. Entrance

Ishknits brightens City Hall with her hand knitted patchwork designs

“I

the backrest of one literally invites viewers to “Take a seat.” Every usable object in the room displays the intricacies of Hemmons’s signature yarn treatment.

On the walls of the gallery hang stunning photographs

by Conrad Benner that document Ishknits’ yarnbombing of three seats on the Market– Frankford line. In placing the installation on a subway train, Ishknits not only makes a particularly bold statement, but presents her work to a broader and more diverse audience than typical gallery spaces allow for. While some street art — like a seat on the subway defaced with garbled words and spray–painted silhouettes — remains far from inviting, Ishknits’ colorfully cozy yarn–graffiti encourage viewer interaction.

As residents of Philadelphia, we are lucky to have Ishknits. She’s an artist ready to cover the city in a whimsical tapestry that not only protects our buttocks from the unfriendly hardness of a subway seat, but also encourages us to begin knitting the new social fabric that Philly has long been waiting for.

Check out an extended interview and images of Jaipal Singh's work on his Artist Profile at 34st.com!

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34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

t’s graffiti with grandma sweaters,” says Jessie Hemmons, better known as Ishknits, about her work as Philadelphia’s yarnbomber.

"Yarnbombing 101," her first solo exhibit, combines yarn installations with photography to tell the tale of Ishknits’ latest Philadelphia escapade: knitting cozies for seats on SEPTA’s Market–Frankford subway line.

There is something playfully rebellious in all of Ishknits’ work. Using a traditionally feminine craft to enter the male–dominated world of street art, Hemmons’s concepts feel more approachable than traditional graffiti. Ishknits brings this same rebelliousness into the gallery space of City Hall.

What was once the seat of the patriarchal Pennsylvania government now finds itself invaded by the femininity of knitwork.

Upon entering the exhibition, it’s hard to know where to look first. Two towering columns dominate the space, wrapped in kaleidoscopic patchworks. Soft and irresistibly cozy chairs greet visitors;

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STREET ART, GRANNY STYLE

17

LOWBROW

meme

LOLCAT

of the week

SHOUTOUTS While everybody’s dying to roll at Fling, Lowbrow’s excited to rake in the dirt.

34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

But before you turn your frenemies’ blackouts into blackmail, take a look at the best and worst from Shoutouts past.

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GOOD: To my roommate who stopped dealing Adderall: Wait, I forgot what I was gonna say.

BAD: To the wizard of farts (wof): I just wanted you to know I respect your powers and the secrecy of your identity. WoF on.

Get your submissions in by Monday, April 16 to shoutouts@34st.com or online at Under the Button’s nifty anonymous tip box.

While some of you rush home to hunt for painted eggs with your six–year–old cousins, Lowbrow’s bringing the search to you — word search that is. Find all 15 eggs and an extra bonus one that is unlike all the others.

And we’d also like to wish a Happy Passover to 98% of our readers! Say hi to all our friends in Scarsdale this weekend!

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34TH STREET Magazine April 5, 2012

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19

THEROUNDUP Because maybe you don’t know all the dirt, but you got some good stuff It’s ___________ (weather) again, which is obvious because ___________ (Greek organization) is back at their ___________ (hazing activity). We all saw them dressed as ___________ (plural noun) on/ in ___________ (conspicuous place on campus). But that’s blase, because really we heard ___________ (your BFF) was ___________ (verb) ___________ (bodily fluid) at ___________ (your hangout spot).

What a ___________ (descriptive noun)! Guess that’s nothing new since last week they had their ___________ (body part) all up in the ___________ (body part) of ___________ (organization or individual — get creative). That’s too bad because last time ___________ (your BFF) was at it a tour group was ___________ (verb) around ___________ (previously–picked place).

While pledging appears to be reaching its climatic conclusion for many of our beloved Greek organizations, it appears the ___________ (favorite a cappella group/dance troupe, Shabbatones, plz!) is off to a screeching start as a ___________ (adjective) ___________ (animal) informed us. Spotting them at ___________ (place) last ___________(day of the week) performing ___________ (your favorite song) while ___________ (most embarrassing activity). That must’ve been hot and heavy 'cause next we heard they were ___________ (verb) in a(n) ___________ (adjective) ___________ (noun).

In other news, sources tell us that back on ___________ (your corner) a few locals were caught ___________ (verb) and simultaneously ___________ (verb) for your mother. Yes, apparently “your mom” jokes never get old. Ironic cause after finding out ___________ (name of someone’s younger sibling you know) was accepted to the good ol’ red and blue, they visited this past weekend, bringing their daddy issues and ___________ (active verb) in ___________’s (person you know) ___________ (place important to them). Slick moves — hope this doesn’t mean they’re blacklisted from ___________ (Penn organization).

Finally, tell ___________ (most aggravating person you know) that they lost their phone and Backpage got a hold of it. ___________ (time of day) ___________ (adjective) texts to ___________ (your ex-hookup/fling/partner) proclaiming how bad ___________ (person) wants to ___________ (verb) on ___________ (body part or place) with ___________ (least favorite food item) are a little too kinky for our taste, but if that’s what you’re into, no judgment…

Rage on, but a friendly reminder to procure the necessary ___________ (drug) for Fling now, before campus is dry next week. Ta ra!

XOXO, BP