March 28, 2013

March 28, 2013 34st.com

march 28

12

2013

3 highbrow

round up, WOTS, overheards and true life: gay orgy (yeah. you read right)

4 EGO

ego of the week: leo wolansky, ego therapy (as if you need that)

fishtown

10

6 MUSIC

fling artist breakdown, penn places with shitty music, reviews

8 FILm

film, film, filmadelphia, netflix pick of the week, reviews

10 FEATURE

financial aid

FROMtheEDITOR

=

On page 3, you will find a firsthand account of an orgy. We are not the first magazine to do this. Last summer, NYMag sent Dan P. Lee to a group sex party with a podiatric premise. Yes, that’s right—foot fetishes. Dan P. Lee went with a friend; our writer went at it alone (you go, _ _ _).

Last week we embedded a writer elsewhere. Zacchiaus McKee went into drag and came out of it to tell us about his transformation.

“Guys and Dolls” generated quite a buzz, and rightly so. We spend a lot of time saving face around here. It takes guts to change yours.

Of course, there’s an intimacy to the orgy that is inherent in its objective: you’re supposed to have sex. But between that, Drag at Penn and Dan's piece, something’s trending: publicity.

The good kind. The Human Rights Campaign’s Tuesday

night Facebook takeover rode that wave. Don’t know what I’m talking about? You’re not on the cutting edge.

It is no longer cool not to support gay rights. Our generation—or at least the one I exist in—is inverting the closet, so if you’re down with DOMA, you’d better get in fast and lock the door. (According to BuzzFeed, there are only 16 of you, so you should fit.)

Today we get a whole new set of pre–frosh. The fact that most of them were born in 1995 is a little scary, but I'm trusting them to carry on what we've started, anyway.

Pride or die, kiddos. Welcome to Penn.

6

financial aid at penn

18

12 FOOD

flavorhood: fishtown (they've got more than fish)

15 ARTS

PIFA preview, artist preview, art about golf at the PMA (shhh...)

fling artist breakdown lowbrow: get in shape

18 lowbrow

it's (almost) the freakin' weekin'.

get in shape with lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

20 backpage

2

check out what's new on chestnut

time for you to help us make this magazine.

WRITERS MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 PM

34th Street Magazine Nina Wolpow, Editor–In–Chief Sam Brodey, Managing Editor Alex Hosenball, Online Managing Editor Chloe Bower, Design Editor Sarah Tse, Photo Editor Olivia Fingerhood, Asst. Design Margot Halpern, Asst. Design Zacchiaus McKee, Highbrow Julia Liebergall, Highbrow Sophia Fischler-Gottfried, Ego Ben Lerner, Ego Isabel Oliveres, Food & Drink

Abigail Koffler, Food & Drink Ariela Osuna, Music Michelle Ma, Music Alexandra Jaffe, Film Faryn Pearl, Film Patrick Ford-Matz, Features Kiley Bense, Features Madeleine Wattenbarger, Arts Gina DeCagna, Arts Lizzie Sivitz, Lowbrow Zach Tomasovic, Lowbrow Frida Garza, Back Page Zeke Sexauer, Back Page Lauren Greenberg, Social Media

Allie Bienenstock, Print Copy Ryan Zahalka, Print Copy Marley Coyne, Online Copy Michael Shostek, Online Copy

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Nina Wolpow, Editor–in–Chief, at wolpow@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898– 6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

Cover Design: Chloe Bower

Visit our web site: www.34st.com

Contributors: Rosa Escandon, Cassandra Kyriazis, Michael Scognamiglio, Jack LaViolette, Solomon Bass, Nicole Malick, Lucy Shi, Arjan Singh, Sandra Rubinchik, Suzette Wanninkhof, Daniel Felsenthal, Gabe Morales, Alina Grabowski

"It's the bunny." ©2013 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a–okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

wordonthestreet

I WENT TO A

GAY ORGY

I didn’t know exactly what to expect upon passing through the seemingly innocuous 8th floor hotel room door. A man opened it cautiously before making sure I was on the list and ushering me inside. I was at a gay orgy, so I’ll never understand why I was surprised to see twenty–or–so naked men lounging around the hotel room. A mix of Avicii and other generic club music emanated from the depths of the room, 90s–era gay porn was playing on both of the room's two TVs and a string of multicolored Christmas lights had been strung up as some gesture towards mood–lighting.

There was a definite contingent of regular orgy– goers who knew each other; they were standing around the bar, chatting quietly and making vodka–cranberries in the nude. Amidst a volley of less–than–furtive come–hither gazes from some of the men in the room, I made my way to the bar while disrobing ever so slowly. Despite the orgy organizers’ claims of “exclusivity” and “high standards,” most of the men… left something to be desired.

PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THE ART

Luckily, I spotted a guy who seemed a cut above the rest, I’d guess around six foot two, bangin’ bod—just delicious. We naturally gravitated towards each other and paired off, finding a spot at the foot of the king–sized bed. Our hookup became a spectacle of sorts, with men unashamedly jacking off to the proceedings. Apparently it is within orgy code to shove one’s dick in the face of an unsuspecting orgy participant. At one point a man simply laid his on my face—I wasn’t having any of it.

My orgy experience consisted primarily of hooking up with the one hot boy I could find while most everyone else watched. I think this orgy was my last. But besides that, I think what struck me most was how unaware the other hotel guests were of what was going on. The orgy room looked, from the outside, like any other hotel room. Other than a steady stream of men entering the room, nothing would alert a passerby of what was going on. Next time you stay in a hotel, just know that there were probably twenty gay men having sex in the bed you’re sleeping in. Sweet dreams.

THEROUNDUP

at

Office worker: I'm so excited to eat my carb for today.

Post–Grad: Amanda Bynes' twitter, is like, how I make it through my week.

Girl 1: I have to go home to re–accessorize. It'll be like a whole different outfit.

Girl 2: OMG, you are so smart.

Bro: I really want to watch Harry Potter. See what I've been missing out on.

Junior girl: I don't know. There was tortellini everywhere.

“OMG! What is that!?” is a question I hear too often in dimly lit bars and frat house living rooms. I don’t know what's in the chemical composition of alcohol that makes people forget what a tattoo is, but apparently it's strong at this school. Let me start off with saying that I have a rather large piece on my right shoulder and in the past two years at Penn it has always been an odd conversation starter.

The only thing worse than wearing a dress where you can see the whole tattoo is wearing a shirt that only lets a little peek out. I don’t mean to say that I hate people looking at it or talking about it, but having it peek out seems to be an international code for “you should probably touch me and/or try to move or take off my shirt to better see this mysterious thing.”

I think the reason Penn students treat tattoos like a weird rash is because they're kind of rare here. When I was growing up, most people I knew had tattoos. It was the 90s in California, a boom for the tattoo industry, where every 20–something had to have a some ink. You can imagine my surprise coming to Penn and not seeing very many people with these seemingly foreign skin pictures. That isn’t to say that all people at Penn don’t have tattoos, but there's a relatively small number of us. Come on, we're all young and reckless, right? Aren’t these the exact years when should be going a little “tattoo crazy?"

When talking to Penn students about tattoos, one of three topics comes up. The first is “I want to get a tattoo, too, but I don’t know what to get.” I am not sure if people want me to give them advice on what to get (not that I would know that) or if they want to seem cool. Either way, I worry that these are the kind of people who end up with hearts, butterflies, daggers or some other hackneyed mess. The second is a classic go to, “did it hurt?” I am desperately waiting for the brave soul who makes this into a pick up line in a “when you fell from heaven” kind of way, but alas… a girl can dream. But in all seriousness, anyone one who says tattoos don’t hurt is lying to you and you should not trust them. The third and possibly most bizarre response is “don’t you want to get a job?”

Yes, some jobs frown at visible tattoos, but that is why most of the Penn students have them in at least somewhat discrete places. I am definitely in the pro–“make–some–art–on–yourself” camp, but it's really nobody else’s business if I choose to get a little inked up. It has a long–standing tradition and if done right can be one of the best experiences you can have with your own body.

This being said, no, I don’t think you should get art permanently etched on your forehead.

Businesses are not going to like that. But if I get a job that requires me to wear a skimpy tank top, I don’t think it's going to be a job that cares if I’m a little inked up. But who am I kidding, I'm a history major, I'm never going to get a job.

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

Enchante, mes cheris, and congratulations on making it one week closer to Fling, summer, and the rest of your budding little lives. Here at Highbrow, our only goal is to bring you your weekly fix of campus happenings. We hope we don't disappoint.

BREAKING NEWS: Want to know why it's taken so long for SPEC to release the third Fling artist? Highbrow hears it's because there is no third Fling artist. Or rather, not yet. Or rather, there was. Apparently, French EDM duo Justice was slated to headline, but canceled at the last minute, leaving our favorite branch of student government scrambling for an alternative. France seems to be taking over, as rumor has it that David Guetta has stepped in as headliner. Nothing has been confirmed, obvi, but really, isn't anything better than Tyga?

Speaking of blood–suckers, our next tampon–themed tidbit is something of a marvel. It seems that one senior girl was having sex with her boyfriend this past week. After the dirty deed, her boy said something along the lines of "don't take this the wrong way, but your vagina felt kind of different this time." Apparently, the girl had forgotten to remove her tampon from the previous day and she couldn’t get it out herself, prompting her boyfriend to have to extricate the day–old device. Boy, I bet he was in for some toxic shock, am I right?

Who says Bloomers girls aren’t as cool as Mask and Wig guys? Not Highbrow. Sources tell us that cops went to break up a Bloomers party this weekend after receiving noise complaints. The girls must have charmed with their comedy chops, because the boys–in–blue ended up staying to play a round of beer pong. Wait, we feel like we’ve seen this movie before.

In a move that proves Penn kids are always keeping it classy, one mamacita was seen stealing an exit sign from Zetes and then collapsing and taking a nap on Locust in front of the Women’s Center, exit sign in hand. But like, how will Zetes know where to exit? Tune in next week for the gripping conclusion to this tale.

Are you a senior? Are you thesis–ing too hard? Never fret, duckies, because it seems like somebody always has it worse. Highbrow hears that one ~*totally over it*~ boy ingested too many cigarettes and cups of coffee in too short a period of time. How many? Enough to vomit all over the floor of Fisher Fine Arts. Ew. We’ll stick to Rosenparty.

over heard PENN

BY ROSA ESCANDON

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

TRUE LIFE

3

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

egoof the week

LEO WOLANSKY

Street: What’s your deal on campus?

Leo Wolansky: I manage all of the arrangements for Off the Beat [OTB] as music director and I’m in SAE, which I joined since everyone else was rushing, but has been great. I served as rush chair. I’m also in Friars, which has had a member of OTB since 2000! Oh, and I’m taking a Samba drumming class for a half–credit. It’s the best class you can take at Penn: once a week for an hour and the grade is all participation and one 2 page paper.

Street: How’d you get involved with singing?

LW: I’ve been singing since I was little. My parents are both singers and studied music in college.

They made me do music, which I am really appreciative of.

Street: Cool. How’d that translate to joining OTB? LW: I met an OTB member when I went to Fling as a pre–

This Friar, PPE major and SAE bro has been the music director for Off the Beat—which has its spring show this weekend—for two years. And he could have a career as Edward Cullen’s body double.

frosh. I had no idea how to do the beatboxing stuff when I joined OTB, but I luckily had a single room in the Quad to practice in. Although it would be awkward when I would attempt to beatbox in the shower and people would walk in…

Street: What do you do as music director?

LW: I arrange and delegate who does each song. We recorded an album last summer and I’ve spent the last year producing it, which has been the hardest struggle. The seniors graduated and left Penn, so I was like, “Okay, I guess I have to learn to use this recording software.” We make a lot of mistakes and they all get picked up, so I’ve spent like 10 hours per song.

Street: What’s the album called? When can we get it?

LW: At the show! It’s called “The Difference.” The idea was that OTB is changing from hard rock to pop and alternative/in-

die, so the former president brought up the last line of Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken.”

Street: What’s been your favorite song you’ve sung with OTB? LW: “White Blank Page” by Mumford & Sons, which I’m singing at this show. Mumford… they really know how to get you with emotions. It’s a beautiful song. There’s this one part where it gets loud and every time I sing the first note of it my hands go numb. It’s a pretty intense thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if you saw me crying.

Street: Heart–wrenching.

What’s been the worst singing experience?

LW: My least favorite was “Have Faith in Me" by the hardcore rock band A Day to Remember.

I basically screamed on stage for three minutes, there’s a clip on YouTube… it’s pretty awkward.

Street: Who’s your alter ego?

LW: I guess I have to say Robert Pattinson. People make jokes about how I’m a vampire and come up to me in the mall to say I look like him.

At first it pissed me off but now I see it as a compliment.

Although he has pretty gross hair.

Street: Describe yourself in five words or less.

LW: Chill and stuff.

Street: What’s one thing you would tell your freshman self?

LW: Go to Lyn’s.

Street: What are you doing next year? Pop star status?

LW: Nah, digi-

tal marketing strategy consulting at this company called Rosetta. I feel like a sellout to not be pursuing music—sometimes, in the shower, I question it.

I’m not gonna be auditioning for “The Voice” anytime soon.

Street: When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?

LW: I wanted to be a priest because I wanted to get all of the sacraments… that passed.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn…

LW: People who spend their entire upperclassman careers trying to get swiped into Commons and people who never go back.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 www.hummusrestaurant.com

215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

make itit aa feast! feast! make

4

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feast special feeds 25 for only $199

place orders in advance of your eventevent place orders in advance of your offer available exclusively online

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

There’s something about this time of year that has everyone kvetching. Can you literally not right now? Same here.

We present the most common complaints you’ll hear around campus and how to survive all the drama.

By BEN LERNER AND SOPHIA FISCHLER–GOTTFRIED

“I’m never gonna get an internship.”

1

Just because a handful of acquaintances have landed that dream summer job, it doesn’t mean you’re alone on the overly–strenuous pursuit towards employment. There’s always Starbucks!

5

Proverb: Good things come to those who wait. (But like, get on it.)

2

“I’m forever alone.”

6

Proverb: Keep calm and carry on. (Thanks, poster on everyone’s wall!)

3

“I have lost all fucks to give.”

7

4

If your stress eating has truly taken a toll, get out that angst at Pottruck! But foreal, love yourself cuz u r be@ utiFuL in$id3 & 0uT.

Proverb: You are beautiful, no matter what they say.

That expression is growing old. Hone in on your passions and rejuvenate yourself for the last five– ish weeks!

Proverb: Follow your dreams.

“I’m tired.”

8

Samesies. Nap time?

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

Proverb: A watched pot never boils.

“I’m expanding like a balloon and it’s almost beach season.”

It’s not even really spring yet, so you shouldn’t be rushing to find that special summer love to share a picnic with in Penn Park. (Because that’s a thing). Keep an open mind and get ready to mingle!

Proverb: If he liked it, then he should’ve put a ring on it.

“I just can’t wait to be a brother.”

Oh, young grasshopper, your time will soon come.

Maybe. Before Fling. Hopefully. Enjoy!

Okay, but you definitely passed, easily. Hyperbole won’t help you, unless it was a vocab word for an English midterm. Don’t be the boy who cried wolf––you might actually fail a final.

Proverb: If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

“I have so much work.”

Your GPA is absolutely a numerical reflection on your worth as a human being, so slacking off is an insult to your potential in life. JK, just stick it out the best you can. Are you in M&T/Vagelos/insert difficult program here? Stop bitchin’, yo.

“I literally just failed that midterm… again.”

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

EGO THERAPY: MARCH MADNESS TROUBLESHOOTING

Proverb: Me too.

5

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

THE SHITTIEST MUSIC ON CAMPUS Campus locales aren't always soundtrack savvy, but these spots take the cake for worst selection of tunes.

By CASSANDRA KYRIAZIS

Saigon Cuisine on 40th & Chestnut Streets

Saxby’s Coffee

Last heard there: “Total Eclipse of the Heart," Bonnie Tyler Typically Heard: Terrible, terrible things (like the above song) Imagine yourself trying to tackle your beloved (read: loathed) ASTR 001 homework at Saxby’s and finding yourself more and more baffled by the shop's music selection. Regular selections include some Sirius XM radio station that plays the likes of Jewel, “Time After Time” covers, and Celine Dion’s “Because You Love Me.” Perhaps the genre is bad love songs by women? Regardless, not loving it.

Bottom Line: Occasionally—very occasionally—there will be a good song on, but mostly it’s bad music from a few decades ago that should have been left there.

Last heard there: “Bye Bye Bye,” ‘Nsync Typically heard: R&B or ‘90s boy bands Rumor has it that this new Vietnamese BYO on 40th has an interesting soundtrack. Apparently, it plays a shocking amount of boy band music with some R&B here and there. ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys were cited as examples and you might find yourself wondering: is this is the most ironic restaurant of all time? What is a Vietnamese restaurant doing playing ‘90s boy band music? Maybe it's a rhetorical question. I have no idea what’s going on here.

Bottom Line: If you’re really into Boyz II Men, JT with frosted tips, and the B–street Boys, this is for you.

Starbucks under 1920s Commons

Pottruck

Last heard there: “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!,” Shania Twain Typically heard: Anything that’s ever been super popular

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

Pottruck is the mecca of cheesy music. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of it is great for working out, but cheesy nonetheless. Some well–played favorites include Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven is a Place on Earth,” Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles,” Ace of Bass’ “The Sign” and DMB’s “Ants Marching.”

Bottom Line: “Heaven is A Place on Earth” might get you through your last mile on the elliptical, but otherwise this music selection isn’t worth much.

6

Last heard there: Something or other by Mumford & Sons Typically heard: Indie pop/alt rock or oldies Starbucks isn’t too bad, but watch out for a strange rendition of “Always Something There to Remind Me,” and by strange, I mean in French. There are some Sinatra or Mumford days and that’s a definite plus. On the other hand, the struggle is real when they play experimental alternative that sounds like discount Foster the People. Starbucks gets bonus points for playing “Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)” all the time because that song is awesome.

Bottom Line: Sometimes Starbucks will disappoint, and sometimes it will surprise you with some stuff you forgot you loved. Bring your own headphones just in case.

Bonus: Jimmy John’s CVS on 40th & Walnut streets Last heard there: “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter Typically heard: Oldies or contemporary pop

After some consultation with other CVS shoppers, it's often said that they play a lot of oldies, but a step into the store would reveal otherwise. You can always count on CVS to play all Top 40 all the time, so basically any song that’s been in the Top 40 in the last ten years (see: “Bad Day”). T–Swift seems to be a particular favorite here, and considering she recently said Amy Poehler and Tina Fey should go to hell, it’s officially time to start hating her openly.

Bottom Line: CVS plays shitty music.

One time I went there at one in the morning; they were playing Daughtry.

Needless to say, I felt myself feeling as though I wanted to go home, too.

Bottom Line: No clue, but Daughtry is bad.

Disclaimer: No shame in knowing approximately 92% of the songs mentioned above.

"COMEDOWN MACHINE" THE STROKES

By LUCY SHI

Given the relatively short turnaround since the Strokes released the disappointing "Angles", the band's new album was approached with skepticism.

But "Comedown Machine" proved the band has regained their unity and developed in their composition. The album alternates between the familiar garage–y, new wave style and a mellower, more complex one. The first track evokes the latter, introducing a fresh element that reappear throughout the album. On the other hand, songs like “One Way Trigger” reflect the recognizable Strokes sound spiced with a more pronounced tribute to '80s rock. Though still not as ground– breaking as their debut, "Comedown Machine" shows the Strokes are at once returning to their roots while very much still maturing.

GRADE: A– Sounds best when: Pon-

dering life as David Bowie while high

99-Cent Download: “One

Way Trigger”

"AFRAID OF HEIGHTS" WAVVES

By GABE MORALES

GRADE: A Sounds best when: Paired

with a surfing montage

99-Cent Download: “Lounge

Forward”

By MARLEY COYNE

Janelle Monae Who? With hair like topiary, Janelle Monae emerged as a promising soul and R&B musician. In 2010, Monae released her studio debut "The ArchAndroid (Suites II and III)" for which she received a Grammy nomination.

Three years later, she took home the golden gramophone for fun.’s “We Are Young.” In her rise to fame, the Kansas City native has gathered fans from Big Boi to Barack Obama. Her style is eclectic, in a galactic, otherworldly way, but she believes her eccentricities will help her break down barriers for other performers.

What to expect: A fusion of R&B and hip hop with subtle influences of 50s doo–wop and soul. Her sound is ambitious, inventive and upbeat—made to complement sunshine, tank tops and a cold one.

Songs to Know: “Cold War,” “Tightrope,” “Come Alive (War of the Roses),”

Janelle is nervous about having sweat stains

Tyga Who? Tyga, whose name is an acronym for “Thank You God Always” rose to fame alongside his peers T.I., Wale, Meek Mill and Birdman with his remixes and guest appearances.

When creative differences separated him from cousin and Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy, Tyga started focusing on a solo career.

In 2008, he released his first independent album, "No Introduction." Since then, Tyga has been a club staple with bumping–and–grinding hits like “Make it Nasty” and “Rack City.”

What to expect: Songs filled with sex, drugs and the rags–to–riches narrative. As far as genre goes, Tyga typically sticks to mainstream rap, making for a fun, charismatic performance.

Songs to Know: “Faded,” “Make It Nasty,” “Rack City”

Tyga attempts to make it nasty; possibly vomits in process

come to the street writers' meeting tonight. we have more than two artists.

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

“Afraid of Heights,” San Diego punk band Wavves’ latest release, is arguably their most mature effort yet. From the outset, the album is simultaneously comforting and noisy as “Sail to the Sun” opens with deceitfully dreamy instrumentals and quickly morphs into a classic surf–rock–esque Wavves song. After three studio releases, Wavves has finally achieved a strong, adventurous album that does not indulge itself. With fuzzy, relaxed tracks like “Dog” and “I Can’t Dream” and upbeat, powerhouse songs like “Lounge Forward” and “Beat Me Up,” Wavves both avoids the redundancy of past releases and begs listeners to stay for the whole show.

recent disclosure of the Fling lineup and with the monumental day approaching (2 weeks!), you'll need a good playlist to prepare. All you’ll have to worry about is getting flung. And who else is playing.

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

ARTIST BREAKDOWN ALBUM REVIEWS FLING Janelle who? Where is this “Rack City?” With so much buzz over SPEC’s

6:30pm 7

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

FILMADELPHIA Think life at Penn is kind of cinematic? Actually, it is.

“Philadelphia” (1993): Fisher Fine Arts Library Setting “Philadelphia,” the ground–breaking drama starring Tom Hanks as an HIV positive man persecuted for his homosexuality, in the “Cradle of Liberty” was in itself a symbolic move. He studies for his clients’ cases—and soon enough, his own—at the Fisher Fine Arts Library with good friend and future Penn dad Denzel Washington.

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

“Transformers 2” (2009): The Quad and Castle Fraternity House In the sequel of the Transformers saga, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) starts college at dear old Penn! Well, with a few scenes filmed at Princeton (we’re over it, we swear). When Sam moves into the Quad, his dad says, “it smells like $40,000 a year.” Excuse me, Mr. Witwicky, make that $45,890. Sam’s first college rager is filmed at the Castle chapter house, and though Hollywood tricked out the house quite a bit, the frat's signature moosehead is still present.

8

“Unbreakable” (2000): Franklin Field A security guard (Bruce Willis) working at Franklin Field is frustrated with his uninspired career and disintegrating marriage when he lives through a horrific train accident. After learning about the accident, a man (Samuel L. Jackson) is convinced that the survivor has supernatural powers. Although the fans who populate the stadium in “Unbreakable” don green and red, we know Franklin Field is only really true to our beloved Red and Blue.

“Trading Places” (1983): Rittenhouse Square “Leg–less” Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy, at the height of his career) knows the best place in Philadelphia to beg: Rittenhouse Square.

Take a cue from the most famous Philly panhandler and trade your normal hangout for Rittenhouse in the spring.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34

ST

By dan fELSENTHAL

DO YOU PAY PER VIEW? “Spring Breakers” is an unusual film, but less ambitious

and mainstream and you eccentric Filmmore polled you tothan finddirector out how are Harmony getting your Sunday afternoon Korine’s previous outings.

But Korine’s latest will still frustrate KHAYKIN movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY audiences—and it’s probably the better for it. The film focuses on fourhough collegewestudents a diner toinfund theirAnd spring all knowwho the robwatch Hugo theaters. we you guess then that Penn stubreak trip, ultimately gangster named Alien Internet is forfalling porn in fiwith t thisamold of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their (James Franco).

Repetitive dialogue andstudents a disgusting (thanks Avenue Q), the League well, frequency with only RomCom fix online with free of sunset imagery might seem, frankly, bad, but that’s the bedroom is no longer the only about 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel point—Korine soaks the audience in a youthful generation both GRADE: A area being ceded to digital watching movies at thepleasure, Rave ev- and Ch131 rather attempting to find itself terriand committed to its own Metacritic: 61% than pay for tory. unsure For every girl with semester.the two. Korine is services provided

by Netflix and and about the daddy’s differenceery between Rating and Runtime: AmEx, browsing on and too But how about the ste- Redbox? just too window earnest to make fun purposeful to other entertain R, 94 min. more than hehas needs The filmreotype, is shot the beautifully

by Benoit Fifth Avenue beento. replaced one that says all colWhile 75% of us watch movSee if you liked: Debie ("Entershopping. the Void")And and one can decide how The silly free the ies“Shortbus” with online lege students are poor? online, nearly 50% pay for (2006) constant partying (and grill) seem. To me, FYEs everywhere have James virtu- Franco’s movement of information madeit it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a seems ridiculous, totally at the same time. ally been rendered but useless (puntruthful possible by the interweb makes new release on iTunes — is hysintended) with the existence of terical, but is Whose recommendations do you take? the multifarious iTunes store. it worth the 50 Things are no different here 1.5 salads at 47.7% Other at Penn, where the Rave gets Sweetgreen 40% 40 A Friend nearly half the traffic for the it would Cinema Studies midnight screenings of blockhave cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% buster hits like Twilight as Hulu I had seen it Professor or TA 20 does the day after the newest in theaters?

Street episode of 30 Rock airs. This Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were allowed to choose more makes sense. We Penn students dles aren’t than one option.

0 are too busy procrastinating that bad, I on Penn InTouch and designguess. ing funny lacrosse pinnies for entertainment accessible and The average Penn student the clubs we’re involved in to inexpensive to anyone with an (who is anything but average, if leave the comfort of our beds to AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch-

T

need more film?

check out the 2013 Penn Student Film Festival~~ finalists showing tonight, harrison rooftop.

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47.7%

Theaters

Free Streaming To the untrained eye, "Hara–

16.9% Kiri" may look cheesy Paidlike Onlinea Services

B–Movie about ninjas, but this 2011 period drama is much artful and well made than 9.2%more it seems, with gripping performances and beautiful cinematography. Though this is a retelling 1.5% of the 1962 Kobayashi classic, about a fallen samurai trying to avenge his family, it stands alone as a film. Takashi Miike, a relatively does the near impossible as he Why dounknown you go director, to the movies? constructs a compelling and beautiful look into Samurai cul6.3% "Hara–Kiri" was the first 3D film ture3.1% in 3D. As a side note, Other If you have the two to premier at the Cannes Film Festival. hours and no aversion to subtitles, It's thisa way is atogreat Netflix hidhang out with friends 25%filled with action, suspense and classical intrigue. den gem

40.6%

25%

es seven movies, more or less, every semester. Simple arithmetic proves that it’s $40 cheaper to watch said movies on Netflix than at the Rave, and an additional $20 less on iTunes (cost of popcorn and Mike and Ikes not included in these calculations). The low cost of watching seven movies on iTunes for less than 30 bucks is worth the many conveniences that online paid services afford us: not being interrupted by incessant buffering and commercials, the immunity to computer viruses and most importantly, not having to wait 54 minutes after watching 72 minutes of a movie on Megavideo.

Not to mention, it’s a small price to pay when you look at the big picture — the combined savings of the 47.7% of Penn students who pay for their online services rather than going to the movie theater is somewhere between $196,136 and $295,344, depending on whether they use Netflix or iTunes, respectively.

Moral of the story is: we won't judge if you just stay in bed. *A simple random sample of 100 Penn undergrads were surveyed to collect data about their film viewing habits.

It's a good study break

It makes you feel relaxed and happy Required for Class

BY THE NUMBERS

$153,701 >> Total amount of money spent in movie theaters* by Penn students each semester

$196,136

>> Total amount of money spent watching online, if all people who paid for online services used iTunes*

$295,344

>> Total amount of money spent watching online, if all people who paid for online services used Netflix* *$12.50/ticket at the Rave *$3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes *$7.99/month on Netflix

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

8pm

HARA–KIRI: How Penn Students Watch Movies DEATH OF A HE TLibrary F Borrow from O SAMURAI24.6% K PICKWatch Don't WEEMovies

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

SPRING BREAKERS FILM

9

If Penn's financial aid brochures are to be believed, no student graduates in debt and every need is met. However, the reality is messier than that.

Some stories have a glossy ending, and some do not. Sometimes, even financial aid comes at a cost. | BY SAM BRODEY *Names have been changed.

with SFS

munications

Director of Com

10

John’s roots are humble. He describes his family’s financial situation during his youth as “just about broke.” However, his father now earns over $150,000 per year. But this doesn’t mean much to John, because his father refuses to support him financially. He hasn’t received so much as a dollar from his father since he was 15, and he’s worked regularly since 13.

John explains, “even if [my father] were much richer, he wouldn’t support me. That’s how he was raised and it’s how he wants me to be raised.” In John’s most desperate moments, his father’s response was always the same: “You made the decision to go to Penn.”

When John was admitted, that decision seemed like a sound one. Penn’s initial financial aid offer was lacking, but its second one was much better, buoyed by a policy that promises to match another Ivy’s aid offer. Then, John received $10,000 of annual outside scholarships. Everything seemed to fall into place.

But when John got to Penn, reality became less rosy.

His scholarships ended up making things a lot more difficult. The $10,000 takes care of what he's expected to pay—not his parents' share, which he pays too—but it also did one crucial thing: it eliminated his work–study eligibility.

John was counting on work–study to cover his day–to–day living expenses.

He couldn’t find a job at Penn that wasn’t work–study and with no help from SFS, he had to dip into his savings and take out loans to cover expenses like the mandated meal plan for freshmen. He quips, “those eggs at Hill taste a lot worse when you’re paying interest on them.”

By his second semester freshman year, John was “dead broke,” struggling to scrounge up money. By that summer, his budget was “$10 per day—for everything.”

But rock bottom was yet to come. The following fall, John was put on financial aid hold due to a falling out with his father, who refused to send in his tax returns to SFS. With an outstanding application, he was permitted to take classes, but was unable to take out a loan through Penn to cover living expenses. Without that loan, and still without a job, he had no way of getting food, much less books. He couldn’t sleep because he was so hungry. He was put on academic probation.

When his father finally sent in the information, John was in for another struggle—dealing with Penn’s new aid offer. His overall aid was reduced significantly. In one of many meetings with SFS, John says officers said it was justified by his father’s increased income. Penn’s generous freshman year offers suddenly seemed hollow. To John, “it felt like a bait and switch.”

Faced with the prospect of taking out an additional $10,000 in loans, John buckled. “I couldn’t do it. It was too much.” He took a leave of absence and began working full–time doing odd jobs around Philly. He planned to save and come back in the spring, but Penn mandated that he take a full year off.

He’s now away from campus, working and saving for the next three years.

Even so, he will likely graduate with six figures of debt.

John has cold conclusions about financial aid at Penn. “In their eyes, I’m an issue... that they have to get rid of. There are some great people who work at Penn financial aid,” he says, but “that need–blind aspect—I think it makes Penn blind to the human context.” For John, Penn’s aid algorithms are too inflexible to appreciate the subtleties of individuals’ situations. “This school has billions of dollars. Kids shouldn’t be hungry.”

Michelle has had several issues with financial aid, from her freshman year to her study abroad semester, but remains resolutely positive about her experience with aid at Penn. Without a doubt, she enjoys a generous financial aid package—her retired father and flight attendant mother would normally have to pay roughly $4,000 per year, but an outside scholarship she earned takes care of her family contribution. She and her family pay essentially nothing for Michelle to attend Penn.

She is also eligible for work–study, a key resource which she describes as the greatest weakness of her financial aid experience. Her freshman year, she exhausted her work–study funding in the fall—she says that “for about two months in spring I didn’t have a job or spending money to do anything.” SFS helped by raising her work–study by $200, but it wasn’t nearly enough to get her through the semester. They suggested taking out a loan, which Michelle was averse to doing.

Her only option was to try her best to make ends meet. “I was on a meal plan so I could still eat, but I just couldn’t go out to eat with friends... I was really broke,” she says. However, she’s quick to add a dash of perspective. “I don’t want to make it sound like I was deprived because I didn’t have a spring fling shirt,” she says. But she’s more aware of the costs of social life at Penn than most.

More than anything, she’s found that her outside scholarship organization has caused far more problems than Penn has. Her scholarship organization sent in more funds than she needed one semester, which reduced Michelle’s work–study funding.

When she went abroad, she was only notified when out of the country that her scholarship organization didn’t fund study abroad. “I think they just made up this rule so they didn’t have to give me money,” she says, and was placed on financial hold by Penn. Dealing with such a complex issue while in a country with limited internet access was a headache—especially because Michelle’s only option, according to SFS, was to take out a loan. “Luckily it worked out,” she says, “but it was pretty annoying that my scholarship fund wouldn’t cover my abroad expenses.”

Despite these issues, Michelle has few complaints.

“I want to emphasize the fact that I feel really lucky,” she says. “That although I am broke sometimes, I don’t really have that many outstanding loans, and Penn has been able to support me being here.”

James, a College senior from Colorado, has had plenty of interactions with SFS in his four years at Penn. Financial aid is the only viable way for James’ family (his father is a government geologist and his mother is a preschool teacher) to pay for his Penn education, especially after being hit hard in the 2008 financial crisis. During his time at Penn, he’s received up to $30,000 in Penn Grants—the most common, and substantial, form of need–based, loan–free aid Penn offers. Part of the remainder is paid for by his parents; the rest is covered through loans James has taken out. He estimates he’ll graduate about $20,000 in debt.

For a few reasons, James has seen his aid decline since freshman year. For one, his sister no longer attends a private secondary school, which added over $1,000 to his family contribution. His aid also declined for a more unlikely reason: a generous outside scholarship. In his sophomore year, James won a Foreign Language and Area Studies Scholarship, a $15,000 government grant awarded to students who have excelled in the study of Asia, Africa or the Middle East. For an aspiring Middle East specialist like James, the award was warmly welcomed for its prestige and its generosity. He thought he wouldn’t have to take out additional loans that year.

The year after receiving the scholarship, however, James was surprised to find out that his financial aid had been reduced by $7,000. “It’s like they cut a royalty out of my scholarship,” he says. “I really only saw $8,000 of that money.” That was upsetting enough on its own, but James was taken aback by how it was done. “I had no say in it at all,” he tells me. “My parents were pretty pissed off.”

Despite his debacle with the scholarship and thoughts of dealing with debt after graduating, James feels pretty secure.

“I’ve never really felt strained for money,” he says. He’s taken full advantage of work–study, holding a variety of different jobs since his freshman year, from sorting books in the basement of Van Pelt to working one–on–one with professors.

To him, work–study has been crucial—not to pay tuition or loans, but to be able to do the normal things college students should, like see a concert or go to a restaurant.

Out of all the times he’s met with financial aid officers and time he’s spent trying to understand the process, James has emerged from his time at Penn relatively ambivalent about his experience with financial aid. He acknowledges its strengths, but finds it hard to get around his negative experience with his government award. His wariness has been fueled by SFS, an office he finds to be particularly non–transparent. James recalls a meeting where a financial aid officer told him, “I could’ve charged you more, but I didn’t.” “Your ‘need’ is dictated,” James says. “It all seemed kind of arbitrary to me.”

Sergio Arrangoiz, a College freshman from Guadalajara, Mexico, never thought a full scholarship at an Ivy League university could be a possibility for him. His father, a factory manager in between jobs, and mother, an office worker, would never be able to afford the tuition and travel expenses associated with attending a place like Penn. But last year, when Sergio received his acceptance letter to Penn, he also found out he’d be receiving a nearly full ride.

That’s because Penn recently revised its financial aid policy regarding Canadian and Mexican citizens. Like other international students, they were previously eligible only for a very limited amount of financial aid. Now, instead of being “need– aware,” admission is “need–blind” for Canadians and Mexicans.

It’s a point of pride for Penn, the stuff of glowing press releases.

But it’s not so well–publicized in Sergio’s native Mexico.

At Sergio’s high school, it was not common for students to come to the U.S. to study. Sergio himself hadn’t really entertained it as a possibility until representatives from Harvard, Yale and Princeton came to his school to talk about their need–blind admissions policies for Mexican students.

Until then, he says he “didn’t really know anything about universities in America and their financial aid.” Naturally, he turned to Google. That’s how he found Penn. Now that he’s here, he and his family pay roughly $2,000 a year for tuition, housing and meals—Penn takes care of the rest. On top of that, Sergio applied for Penn to cover his travel expenses and was approved. His round–trip journey between Guadalajara and Philadelphia—$1,200, on average—is paid for once a year. Sergio also is eligible for work–study, working about nine hours a week to help pay for some of his day–to–day expenses.

While he’s grateful for these numerous benefits, Sergio didn’t know up front that his aid would be taxed by the federal government. “Students that get financial aid for expenses not strictly related to school—for example, housing or meal plan— that financial aid is taxable,” he explains. It’s a 14% tax, which ends up being a considerable amount of money—$1,500, to be exact. Since his financial aid package gives a little more than he needs, some of it goes to his taxes. The rest of the tax he pays through a $1,000 loan offered through the work–study program.

Overall, Sergio has had a positive experience with financial aid. “They’ve been awesome,” he says, adding, “it’s amazing that they can even do this.” To students like him, for whom studying in the United States is the stuff of dreams, this policy is a gift. People from Mexico “might know about Harvard or Yale, but not Penn,” he says, and they definitely don’t know that Penn offers need–blind admission to Mexican students.

“Spreading the message that we’re here, and we’re willing to offer you financial aid, they could work a lot more on that.”

Q: Are there circumstances under which an outside scholarship might reduce a student’s aid or preclude them from participating in work-study?

A: Penn’s philosophy regarding outside scholarships is that the student… has worked and earned those funds and should derive a benefit as a result. When an aided undergraduate student from Penn receives an outside scholarship, that student receives the benefit of a dollar for dollar reduction first in the summer savings, then in the work–study job. University grant will be reduced only after these work expectations are eliminated.

Keep in mind, these work expectation reductions do not preclude the student from working during the summer or academic year… As a result, students… may have additional resources to supplement the family contribution. “This is a great incentive for students to pursue these scholarships!” - Joel Carstens, University Financial Aid Director Q: Does SFS have any stated policy regarding students whose parents refuse to contribute financially to tuition expenses?

A: Penn’s need–based aid program believes the primary responsibility in financing an education rests with the family. That is why we consider nearly all Penn students to be dependent and require parental information as part of the aid application process.

However, we do understand there are limited situations under which students may, in fact, be supporting themselves. The most common situations considered for independent status include when a student is an orphan or ward of the court as well as when a student is age 26 or older.

Q: What percent of students take out loans through Penn? What is the average level of debt is for graduating students?

A: About one–third of the Class of 2012 chose to borrow a federal loan at one point during their Penn career. The average cumulative debt for these students was $19,197.

Sam Brodey is a junior studying political science from Los Angeles, CA. He is the Managing Editor of 34th Street Magazine.

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

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Coming up for air at Fishtown’s SEPTA stop, one smells grub.

Getting there: Take the Market–Frankford Line Eastbound and get off at Girard Ave. (about 25 mins) When I first got off the train in Fishtown I was confused—where was the rancid seafood smell that characterizes the streets of neighborhoods once known for fishing? I had come to find out about the food of this up–and–coming neighborhood, and with no clear idea where to start, I decided to turn to a local for some guidance.

My trip began on a corner at an anonymous looking pizza parlor, Pizzeria Beddia (115 E. Girard Ave). I approached a tall, bouncy haired woman behind the counter and asked her point–blank, "What’s up with Fishtown, why haven't I heard of this place before?" She explained that five years ago the area was totally different. Back then, she didn’t feel comfortable visiting her brother (Joe Beddia, the owner of the pizza joint) because of the neighborhood’s not–so–glamorous rep. She wouldn’t have walked alone at night for a hot second.

Since then, Fishtown has experienced a face–lift from developers and restaurateurs (Steven Starr couldn’t stay away) who have transformed the neighborhood into a food and nightlife hotspot. Now, there’s an energy pumping along Frankford and Girard Avenues—Fishtown’s main drags.

Leaving Beddia, I turned left, walked a few blocks past some deserted dollar stores and a 7–11 and found what I was looking for. Fishtown is no longer the land of shrimp and grouper—it’s gone totally gastropub.

-Solomon Bass

Start your day: Milk Crate Cafe 400 E. Girard Ave.

Chill out: Fette Sau to Frankford Hall Fette Sau 1208 Frankford Ave.

Steven Starr has taken over the corner of Frankford and Girard. With two establishments that cater to the need for more than decent barbecue north of the Mason–Dixon line and a beer garden with more than decent food, the block is worthy of a stop. Beat the 4 p.m. slump with a bacon brownie at the laid back Fette Sau, opened in partnership with Brooklyn chef Joe Carroll (1208 Frankford Ave). Sit at a picnic table and get something sweet. For $3, the bacon brownie was as good as it gets. The dense, fudgy batter countered just the right amount of sweet with bitter cocoa.

The smokiness of the chocolate was relayed by the smoked bacon, whose savory notes added much needed depth to the heavy chocolate palette.

For those who prefer a meaty pick–me–up, Fette Sau specializes in barbecued meats. Try dry rubbed pulled pork ($16/lb) or brisket ($18/lb) with a whiskey from the list of over 100 options, including ever–changing specials. For those under 21, or those with a thesis to finish, Fette Sau offers sodas you won’t find most places, including Cheerwine ($3) and Mexican Coke ($3 with real sugar).

Grab lunch: Sketch Burger

Frankford Hall

413 E. Girard Ave.

1210 Frankford Ave.

Eclectic wall art seems to be a fad in Fishtown. Right down the block from Milk Crate Cafe, customer–created food doodles cover the tight quarters Sketch Burger calls home (let your inner Picasso shine—the “wallpaper” changes on a weekly basis). The entrancing smell of seared Kobe beef engulfs this burger dive, where uncommon toppings like wasabi and tahini make an appearance. Feeling luxurious? Opt for the truffle butter burger ($8.25), a Grade–A patty cooked to your heart's desire, topped with grilled mushrooms and truffle butter. The salty, savory patty meshes well with the sumptuous earthiness of the mushrooms and truffle butter, but the real star at Sketch Burger is a plate of hand–cut Belgian fries. Pick any two of their creative homemade sauces, like harissa aioli or the mint–cilantro “Green Goddess," and dunk away.

Once the clock strikes five, head down the block to 1210 Frankford Ave. to find Frankford Hall, a booze– and food–fueled playground for grown– ups. Start inside, where a spacious eating/drinking space houses long, communal tables complete with boxes of Jenga. Sidle up to the bar, which has a top–notch beer selection, and pick up an Oktoberfest–sized beer stein full of Weihenstephan Original Lager ($14). Once your beer blanket starts to kick in, grab a bag of s‘mores–making supplies ($1), head out to a fire pit and roast that marshmallow like it’s the summer of 2004. If you’re craving more than a sweet and gooey bite, opt for an authentic warm Bavarian pretzel with cheese dip ($4) to share while you duke it out over a game of ping–pong.

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

Hi-Fi and Wi-Fi are best friends at this record–store meets coffee shop.

Brightly colored record covers line the walls and the menu of dishes named for music–puns is artfully scrawled on a blackboard. If you’re not sold by the sheer fact that they serve something titled “A Tribe Called Quesadilla," the “Chocolate Elvis” will win you over: a toasted croissant with banana, nutella, peanut butter and—surprise, surprise—bacon! The hickory smokiness of the bacon compliments the heavy sweetness of the peanut butter and Nutella, while the toasted croissant added a crispy texture to counter the softness of the bananas. Pair with a cup of freshly brewed La Colombe coffee for a breakfast that we’re sure would make The King rise from his grave.

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FLAVORHOOD: FISHTOWN

The night is young: turn the page for Fishtown after dark.

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Dine and drink: Johnny Brenda’s

WHEN I GO TO FISHTOWN...

1201 Frankford Ave.

A restaurant downstairs and an indie– rock concert venue upstairs, Johnny Brenda’s is as binarily cool as gastropub gets. (read: Brooklyn hipsterville and an old school western saloon make a baby.)

Young, crisply dressed crowds gather around the bar and pool table or sit at hardwood tables sipping flights of local beers. A mix of harmonica and drumbeats plays soundtrack to cozy conversation. Order a plate of super–thin–cut fries ($4) for the table and stay awhile.

We like the dipping sauce because it isn’t fancy, kind of like their beer selection.

You’ll be foolhardy not to follow up with Fish Town Stew on your second round ($18)—mussels, leeks and fennel to share. Johnny Brenda’s is a Philly staple.

People have been rocking out there since way before Fishtown was cool.

fish fish mc bites mc bites fish fish mc bites mc bites fish fish mc bites mc bites

I’ll eat and drink from East to best.

Pizzeria Beddia: pie What: 16” tomato, whole milk mozzarella and aged cheese pizza ($18) Where: 115 E. Girard Avenue

Ekta: neighborhood Indian What: garlic naan ($3.49) and saag paneer ($11.99) Where: 250 E. Girard Avenue

In ‘N’ Out Hoagie & Ice Cream Shop: concept What: chicken cutlet and broccoli rabe hoagie, single dip cone ($2.75) Where: 402 E. Girard Avenue

Kraftwork: booze What: late night happy hour, Sunday – Thursday 10pm – midnight, 12 hand-picked half-price “Top-rated BYOB in Philly!” drafts -Citysearch Where: 541 E. Girard Avenue

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next week online at 34st.com check out polls, new everyday

VOTE 4 WORST OF PENN.

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

worst boozy brunch least marriagable professor worst west philly coffee shop worst bar to actually be 21 at worst place to buy beer worst on-campus happy hour deal worst quizzo worst boutique worst of Sansom Street worst mobile food concept worst downtown spot/club worst pad thai worst pizza worst bouncer/bartender worst frat party worst place to get a haircut worst holiday worst place to nap worst byo to get rowdy

15

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

Preview: Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts After a hiatus following the inaugural festival in 2011—which included a 81–foot tall Eiffel Tower sculpture—PIFA is back with a bang. Looking for a cultural fix? Arts breaks down what you need to know for a month of festivities.

BY Alina Grabowski

Reasons to go to PIFA:

1. You can finally live out the time travel fantasies of your youth. While the first festival was all about early 20th century Paris, this year’s theme, time travel, promises adventures in all eras.

2. These fantasies can be realized in musical form. "Flash of Time: A New Musical" is the century–spanning piece of theater you didn’t know was missing from your life.

3. There’s something for everyone. Constantly humming "Superstition" under your breath? Catch a performance of Stevie Wonder songs. Need a classical music fix pre–Fling? Score major culture points with organ music celebrating composer Benjamin Britten’s birth.

4. Trapeze lessons. Need we say more?

5. Food from every time period. What better way to celebrate Thomas Jefferson’s 270th birthday than an “onstage culinary adventure” of the Founding Fathers’ favorite gnoshes?

6. Tap dancing. Performed by famed tapper Savion Glover and set 3.8 billion years in the past, of course.

7. An actual time machine at the Kimmel Center. Don’t miss the only time the future will be SEPTA accessible!

STREET’S PIFA PICKS:

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

Wide Awake: A Civil Work Cabaret by the Bearded Ladies Cabaret March 27–April 6 at 8 p.m., $21 Innovation Studio at the Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. Getting There: Take the trolley to City Hall, then walk four blocks south up Broad St. What’s better than cabaret and bold ladies rocking facial hair? Cabaret and ladies rocking bold facial hair in a series of North vs. South rock battles! Is a performance described as “part ‘Gone With the Wind,’ part folk–punk extravaganza” something you’d want to miss?

16

An Aquarian Exposition: A Trip Back to the Original Woodstock performed by SHARP Dance Company April 12, 13, 19 & 20 at 8 p.m., April 14 & 21 at 7 p.m., $20 The Box, 2628 Martha St. Getting There: Take the Market–Frankford line to Huntingdon Station; walk four blocks southwest If Penn’s pre–professional vibe is getting you down, let SHARP Dance Company transport you to a place of peace, love and understanding with their dance

piece on Woodstock. No mention of OCR, internships or job offers allowed.

"Everyone and I" presented by the Azuka Theatre and The American Poetry Review March 28–April 2 & April 4–7 at 7:30, March 29, 30 & April 3, 5 & 6 at 9:30, $26 Hamilton Garden at the Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. Getting There: Take the trolley to City Hall, then walk four blocks south up Broad St. This theater piece takes its inspiration from “The Day Lady Died,” Frank O’Hara’s famous poem written on the day of Billie Holiday’s death. Expect to be enchanted by Holiday’s timeless jazz and subsequently depressed by our Top 40 music landscape.

From Seneca Falls to Philadelphia: Fourth of July 1876 and the Women of the Centennial April 1–27, Opening Reception April 5 from 5–7 p.m.

Athenaeum of Philadelphia, 219 S. 6th St. Getting There: Take the Market–Frankford line to 5th Street, then walk five blocks southwest Want to continue the female love after Women’s History Month ends in March? Look no further

than the Athenaeum of Philadelphia. You can browse their collection related to women’s suffrage and the 1876 Centennial Exposition, paired with the responses of present–day book artists. Feeling inspired to get crafty? RSVP to one of their free book arts workshops on April 6 or April 20.

Street Fair, April 27 11 a.m–3 p.m.

Broad & Chestnut Streets through Broad & South Streets Getting There: Take the trolley to City Hall, then walk three blocks south up Broad St. Celebrate the end of multiple eras with PIFA’s final hurrah on the last day of the festival. You can ride a Ferris Wheel, pet a dinosaur or gorge yourself on the street food of times past and future. Doesn’t get much better than that!

“Penn threw me into a pool of ten thousand brilliant, young kids simultaneously searching to define themselves. Right then and there, I found a niche. I realized that my private process through photography was externalizing the curiosities and confusions of so many other people.”

Check out an extended interview and photos by Marlie Winslow @34st.com.

BY GINA DECAGNA

At the Philadelphia Museum of Art, golf balls and clubs are about the last thing you'd expect to see displayed. Nevertheless, "The Art of Golf" makes sure you won't miss out.

Enclosed in a room of the museum’s collection of traditional 18th century British and Scottish art, this special exhibition is centered around one painting: “The Golfers” (1847), an iconic work by Scottish painter Charles Lees (1800–1880). The centerpiece, from which all the other

Lees’ descriptive oil sketches and studies for “The Golfers” fill up the remaining space in the exhibition room. We see the very painterly strokes and behind–the–scenes planning that went into his masterpiece. These smaller pieces stretch the snooty social notion of the popular, aristocratic men—some famed golfers and some notable caddies—across the space. Though a placard describes golf as “a game of considerable passion,” tracing back to when kings and

arts events calendar

Poe–tree en Motion At the Rotunda, April 3, 2013

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Hole–In–One: "The Art of Golf" at the PMA

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40th & Spruce • 215-382-1330 • copabanana.com/uni.php commoners alike partook in the sport, there’s little of the ordinary in these paintings. Each man is decked out in flashy regal attire that corresponds to his golfing society. The exhibit even showcases one society member’s jacket, which looks a bit like the notorious red coats of the British military. Also on display is a huge metal golf club bejeweled by clustered balls. The piece was a trophy for victors among the societies and is a princely prize.

Even if you know nothing about golf, you'll benefit from learning more about the sport at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. This is, decidedly, the frattiest exhibit the PMA has ever run and it's arrived just in time for spring. The next time you find Penn's gentlemen trolling Locust in matching gold–buttoned blazers and snarky smirks, you'll know where it all began.

Grab your balls.

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34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

paintings in the exhibition stem, depicts a rabble of men around a golf hole. A group of onlookers await the fate of the shot. Against a hazy Scottish landscape, a few women in full Victorian dresses flirt .

“The Golfers” is Charles Lees’ only claim to fame. Specializing in sporting and recreational subjects, Lees enjoyed depicting realistic representations of fellow Scots either curling or playing golf, showing them mid–action or grouped in chatter. He is also noted for his extensive traditional portraiture, which the exhibition showcases in a collection of numerous detailed oil sketches capturing the full descriptive personalities of his subjects—five o’clock shadows, tiny wrinkles, weary eyes and all. His mastery of traditional painting led to his enrollment in the Royal Scottish Academy in 1830, a prestigious contemporary Scottish art organization.

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hitting the Gym

HOT TIP: Always bring a photo of your ex–girlfriend or boyfriend. This helps, especially with the punching bag. NOTE: if you don’t hate your ex, then just print out a picture of someone you hate.

Someone will FREE know the MCAT Sample Verbal Class answer. You. 34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

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The "Who is That?"

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Matching is in.

Was it ever out?

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

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Source: PennConnects

Source: Robert A. M. Stern Architects

CHESTNUT SQUARE

3200 block of Chestnut Street We don't know if you've walked around Drexel's "campus" lately, but they're really stepping it up, enlisting the firm of famed architect Robert A.M. Stern to bring some much–needed aesthetic improvements to the area. An 18–story cast stone tower and cantilevered metal and glass–sheathed blocks will serve as student housing, and the ground floor will have space for 10 new storefronts — great news for hungry late–night Van Pelters sick of having to eat from the food court's Taco Bell every night.

HUB 3939

BACKPAGE PRESENTS CHANGES ON

3939 Chestnut Street Like The Hub next door, the postmodern Hub 3939 will bring a mix of retail and one and two– bedroom apartments to 40th Street (and maybe some new digs for Thai Singha?). Construction was slated to begin in the spring of 2009, but that obviously never happened. It looks pretty cool though — a lot cooler than the crappy building that stands there now — so we hope this project gets off the ground, stat.

Source: Robert A. M. Stern Architects

CHESTNUT

University City's hottest street is Chestnut. It has everything. Retail.

Dorms. Apartments. That thing where Drexel's campus is actually sort of becoming attractive...

Okay, so technically these things don't exist yet, but with a number of development projects planned and underway, Chestnut Street is bound to undergo a major transformation. Backpage shows you what you can expect to pop up in the coming years.

Source: PennConnects

Source: BLT Architects Source: Penn Facilities and Real Estate Services

HILL FIELD COLLEGE HOUSE 3300 block of Chestnut Street

34TH STREET Magazine March 28, 2013

Source: PennConnects

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CIRA CENTRE SOUTH

30th Street between Chestnut and Walnut You know that shiny glass building next to 30th Street Station?

The one with all the LEDs? Yeah, they want to build two more of those to the south! These towers will provide housing, retail and office space to the area around Penn Park, acting as a sort of gateway to University City. While the architecture is nothing groundbreaking, it's still not ugly, and it's certainly better than the unsightly railyards that used to occupy the space.

Drexel isn't the only one that gets to have nice things. Across the street from Chestnut Square, plans are underway to build a new college house for Penn. The new dorm will have a central courtyard, seminar rooms, a dining hall and a two–story, multi–functional space that will be used mostly for awkward freshman Class Board events. Across Woodland Walk, Hill residents will still only have "a really great community."

EPISCOPAL CATHEDRAL TOWER at 38th & Chestnut streets

This 25–story apartment tower has been stirring up quite some controversy since its proposal, since it will require the demolition of two historic brownstones that currently sit on the site. But the Episcopal Dioscese of Philadelphia says that it needs to build the tower to generate funds to be used for the upkeep of the cathedral next door. We just wish the plan involved knocking down the fugly, Brutalist–style International House next door instead.

Source: Penn Facilities and Real Estate Services