March 15, 2012

March 15, 2012 34st.com

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

march 15

15

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street, overheards, my penn addiction

philly musicians

4 EGO

ego of the week, how to extend your spring break

6 FOOD & DRINK

pub crawl, morning after, beer glossary, how beer is made

FROMtheEDITOR

SUNSHINE

Walking home from a lovely visit with my two besties last night, I realized something profound.

I was wearing shorts. In the middle of the night. And I wasn’t freezing my testes off.

Spring had arrived in style, heralded by my cherry–blossom–colored daisy dukes.

Doesn’t it just make you want to skip? I can hardly keep my feet on the ground these days, and judging by the slackliners on College Green, neither can you.

artist profile, basho review, artspiration

wharton band

12 FILM

demi padre, will ferrell intervew, netflix pick of the week, some fucking bullshit

8

artist profile

6

15 MUSIC

philly bands, album reviews, spring break roundup, concerts of the week, marigolds interview

18 LOWBROW

st. paddys day pick up lines, top ten, meme of the week, four leaf clovers

pub crawl

10

It takes 40 people to make this magazine. Come by and get your name at the bottom of this page.

20 BACKPAGE

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

street goes BaNAanNanas

2

Have a great day!

rail 3

8 ARTS

10 FEATURE

I don’t have much else to say.

Other than despite the internship letdowns, the midterm woes and the general anxiety that’s, for me, certainly not time–sensitive, I just can’t help but feel fine. I don't even want to say any bad words this week.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Furby Joe Pinsker, Full House Adrian Franco, Bowl Cut Hilary Miller, Temporary Tattoos Chloe Bower, Hush Puppies Sarah Tse, Tamagotchi Laura Francis, Beanie Babies Zeke Sexauer, Vintage Ivy Tee Paige Rubin, Lisa Frank Zacchiaus Mckee, Pokemon Cards Faryn Pearl, Tickle–Me Elmo Patrick Ford–Matz, Napster Tucker Johns, Body Glitter

Nina Wolpow, Limited Too Colette Bloom, Chat Rooms Leah Steinberg, Pogs Sam Brodey, Discman Frida Garza, The Macarena Daniel Felsenthal, Grunge Alex Hosenball, Mortal Kombat Ellie Levitt, CD–ROM Megan Ruben, Polly Pocket Anthony Khaykin, Girls Rule Sandra Rubinchik, Boys Drule Alexa Nicolas, Madlibs Lauren Reed–Guy, Overalls Ben Lerner, Boy Bands Patrick Del Valle, AOL

34st.com Inna Kofman, Slap Bracelet Ali Jaffe, Fanny Pack Elena Gooray, Mambo No. 5 Katie Giarla, Push Pops Cover Design: Chloe Bower & Hilary Miller Contributors: Calder Silcox, Isabel Oliveres, Julie Kozeracki, Samantha Apfel, Julia Liebergall

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor-–in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898–6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "Hilary, did you feed that lizard alcohol?." ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published

by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

YOUR SPRING BREAK TEXTS

Forget most of what happened on that week–long bender in Miami? Maybe your Spring Break texts will offer some insight.

(610): Some lady just traded me beer for my seat on amtrak.

(732): …I may have left my shirt on the floor of your apartment.

(412): Drinking while in the shower is literally the classiest type of drinking I can think of.

(639): Men of old money such as ourselves don’t get crabs, we get lobster.

(617): I wish we could have tossed notes to each other over the Berlin wall before they tore it down.

(215): What the fuck are you smoking?

(434): I dont always beg girls to do blow with me... but when I do…its always you…

(818): hopefully I can sleep off some calories.

(609): Jibran Khan believe it’s not butter.

(818): everyone’s capable of murder. Dog murder.

(321): Oh my God, Nutella flavored condoms would combine my two favorite things — Nutella and dicks.

(434): I’m @ the liq store now…theyre sampling moonshine and totally got me to buy a bottle. It’s disgustingly intriguing

(434): guess who just got subpoenaed

THEROUNDUP

at

Dude: I can’t believe you’re making me go to Sweetgreen. I looked online — they don’t even have ranch dressing.

Girl 1: So what’re you up to tonight?

Girl 2: Oh, I’m just doing something. With some people.

Girl on Locust: And like, another cab driver tried to hit on me again.

Guy in Tap House: Yo, I’m about to pregame my poop with a pee.

Girl in Houston: She can’t cook, but she’ll still find a husband.

She’s really pretty.

BY OLIVIA RUTIGLIANO

A

ll I’ve seriously ever wanted from a bus ride is to lean back in my seat, close my eyes and concentrate on hoping no one can hear that I’m listening to the same Simon & Garfunkel song on repeat.

I’m not sure if it’s because no one is ever this lucky, or just that the Gods of Transportation hate my guts, but peaceful bus trips are few and far between. Like many Penn kids, I’m fortunate that my home isn’t too far from campus.

So, in addition to hopping on a bus home for breaks, I’ve developed a habit of buying tickets on some weekends so I can go visit grandparents and stock up on Lactaid.

I go home often enough for it to seem more logical to drive there. When I’m asked why I don’t keep a car with me at school, I have to explain how I had been behind the wheel for a total of two stoplights before the driving test guy grabbed the steering wheel from me, pulled the car to the curb and growled disgustedly, “just get out.” I’m 19, and the closest I am to driving without a licensed driver in the front seat is a consistent 12th place rank in Mario Kart.

In two years of routine bus travel to and from Penn, buses I’ve ridden have broken down, caught fire, dropped me and the other passengers off in the middle of the New Jersey Turnpike or just never shown up. They’re always late when there’s a blizzard, the Wi–Fi never works when I have to submit some last–minute homework on Blackboard, and I once woke up after a nap (on a Peter Pan Bus sent to replace the BoltBus that had never arrived) with a cat — an actual cat — sitting on my shoulder, blinking at me and chewing on my hair.

I don’t even know.

After all this (and even more crap), I realized that each ride is a new adventure — a potentially strange experience I have to undergo if I ever want to see a home–cooked meal again. I won’t be surprised if one of these days I end up standing on top of a bus, chortling pompously and trying to slay it like James Marsden in Enchanted. But, although I’ve learned that no bus ride is as inspiring, nurturing or even peaceful as the ones Paul Simon’s always mentioning in his songs, my own odyssey of bus disasters breed some classic and frequently–told stories.

I’ve grown to appreciate these rides, exploit them and maybe even love them. I guess I kind of have to, though, because as long as the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles has even a smidgen of authority, I probably won’t be allowed a license for a long, long time.

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

OMG hiiiii! How are you? You look sooo tan! How was Cancun? Oooh scandal! Ew sweetie, you should get that checked out. Looks like herpes, but we’ve been wrong before. Anyway, you’ll never guess what we heard…

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro! Highbrow was told that last year’s Punta Cana threesome has rebranded itself as a Theta/Theos Puerto Vallarta foursome.

Rumor has it that one of last year’s Theta participants was also in on this year’s action, but the others were newbies. But sources tell us that the girls really stole the show — there was more chica on chica than anything else, giving Thetas going downtown a whole new meeting. ¡Ay caramba!

Not to be outdone by Theta sexcapades, we’re told Tridelt girls got wild too. Sources tell us that while two of them accidentally pepper–sprayed themselves while on a joyride in their chauffer’s car, an SB scandal repeat offender hooked up with a Theos guy, took a shit in his shower, stole his bathing suit bottoms and hightailed it out of there. But she wasn’t the only one getting shitty and stealing stuff in Mexico.

Over at the Oz villa, things were really getting loco. While everyone else was too drunk to notice, one Theos guy snuck off with a fugly Mayan statue from the plush pad. Turns out the piece was worth $15,000 and the rental company fully intended to charge them for it. Gasp! But how did they afford Grey Goose and shady Mexican molly for Aoki? Never fear, dear reader, the Theos thief returned the stolen goods, leaving the boys plenty of money to spend on their super trendy “Where Steve Met Molly” tanks. How can Highbrow get our hands on one?

But we're not sick of pledging stories just yet. The week before break, we hear Pike sent their freshmen in groups on mini–tasks which included getting hired for a job by the night’s end — one kid hit up Wawa of course — among other things. The award for Most Racist goes to the poor Asian pledge who was made to wear a rice–picking hat and transport people across the 40th Street bridge in a rickshaw. Another guy was told to grab a girl and take her on a date to Kiwi despite the fact that the fro–yo shop was already closed. We hear he pulled it off, but we hope the process was more bribery than breaking and entering. Crime and racism aren’t good looks for them.

over heard PENN

GET ON THE BUS, GUS

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

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highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

EGO

SPRING BREAK, CONTINUED Just because vacation's over doesn’t mean you have to hit the books quite yet. Take yourself back Spring Break with these handy tips.

BY FARYN PEARL AND PATRICK FORD–MATZ

Where you went: Amusement Park What you did: Stood in a line for five hours to go on one ride, then peed your pants.

Recreate it: –Go on a Roller Coaster of the Mind © with the Psychology Department by volunteering for an experiment.

–Ride SEPTA for hours on end. You’re bound to get puked on at least once.

–Stand in line for Hemo’s at rush hour to recreate that roller coaster tradition of waiting forever for something that will only satisfy you for a moment. Fastpass it by calling ahead.

–Go to the Penn Bookstore to buy overpriced merchandise.

Where you went: Ski Slopes What you did: Hit the mountain, got hot ‘n’ heavy on a ski lift, guzzled spiked hot chocolate and spent 80% of your trip figuring out how to get your long underwear on/off.

Recreate it: –Ice skating is exactly like skiing. Just on ice instead of a mountain, and wearing a flimsy outfit instead of a parka and with a completely different set of equipment. Um, both are cold?

–Warm up at Smokes with a little ale. Think of it as a ski lodge, just with less athleticism and more fake IDs! –Stand in the high rise wind tunnel and close your eyes. Should feel just like the Alps.

Where you went: Beach Resort What you did: Flew to St. Whatever, contracted acute melanomas on your arms, back and bikini line and consumed copious amounts of blended drinks.

Recreate it: –Head to Pottruck for the full beach resort relaxation routine, just without the beach or resort! Hit the pool (at least there are no sting rays — RIP Steve), grab a smoothie and head to the spa.

–Miss being out on the open water? Join the crew team! Who needs the clear, blue waters of the Caribbean when you have the pathogen–infested Schuylkill!?!?

–To keep up that healthful SPF 0 glow, go kick it on the Ware lawn with the freshmen. We think there’s a prime tanning spot right between that passed out stoner and the Riepe girl in the paisley bikini top.

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

Where you went: Home

4

Where you went: NYC What you did: Strutted down 5th Avenue, sold your wares on Broadway and lived the high life #likeapimp #butliterally.

Recreate it: –Allegro’s might not have authentic New York pizza, but if you’re drunk enough, it’ll sure taste like it.

–The Philly theater scene may not boast a Jonas brother, but it does have a plethora of pretentious picks for, like, a quarter of the price.

–Well, maybe this is too literal, but you could, you know, take a two–hour bus ride that costs $10 and you'd be there.

What you did: Nothing. And it was glorious.

Recreate it: –Buy a pet. Beta fish are great because they can’t judge your lifestyle.

–Get to know your house dean, or some other important professor, and turn them into a surrogate parent. Play your cards right, and they’ll be tucking you into bed while giving you practical advice on your thesis in no time.

–Just eat. Because let’s be honest, that’s what all of us were doing at home anyway.

–Foster an inappropriate sibling–like relationship with a roommate (hint: try spitting in their food, pinning them down and tickling them mercilessly, etc.)

–Netflix Instant Watch.

Mask and Wig Chairman Alon Gur goes medieval on your ass every weekend in A Reptile Dysfunction, but that doesn't mean he's good with a lance.

Street: You guys just went on tour. How was it?

Alon Gur: It was great. It was actually really, really fun. Tours are really hit–or– miss sometimes just because they’re very long periods of time on a bus, but I think we all had a good time this year.

Street: How do you while away the hours?

AG: We have a lot of games that we play. We have people come up and tell a story for as long as they can.

We watch old movies, old Mask and Wig shows, that sort of thing.

Street: Who has the best legs in Mask and Wig? AG: Other than me? I’m going to have to go with Jeff Walton on this one. He’s tall, he’s a marathon runner.

Jeff’s legs are shaped like a gazelle’s, which I think is a good thing.

Street: What’s one prediction you have for Penn’s future?

AG: I believe that all universities will cease to exist within the century due to the technological boom.

Street: Wow, that was really serious.

AG: I’m taking this extremely seriously. I don’t know if you are or not, but I plan to send a strong message.

Street: What’s a message you want to send to all Penn students?

AG: Accept the singularity.

Street: What’s your secret talent?

AG: I don’t know how secret it is, but I can beatbox. I don’t know if it’s a talent or a lifestyle. You just say “buckets and cats” over and over without the vowels.

Street: Oh, wow. That just changed my life.

AG: You’re welcome.

Street: Which Disney princess do you identify with and why?

AG: Definitely Belle. You know, the opening scene of Beauty and The Beast. She’s just talking about how much she loves reading, and she can’t handle all the people criticizing her for the one thing she really likes to do.

I don’t necessarily feel like I can’t identify with many people, but I like reading, so I guess that counts.

Street: What’s your guilty pleasure?

AG: Oh man. Full Metal Jousting. It’s…well…It’s basically just jousting. It’s like modern day jousting. It’s basically, like, they get a lot of horsemen, like horse trainers…like fake jousters from Medieval Times, and like, former marines and all that crap. And they put them in 80 pounds of steel, give them

hummus grill make it a feast!

a big–ass lance, and teach them how to joust, and it’s completely stupid.

Street: How do you think you would do?

AG: Terribly. No, there’s no way I would live. I would just die.

Street: It’s not sharp though, it’s blunt right?

The lance?

AG: Yeah, the idea is you get more points if your lance breaks, but you get the most points if you unseat your opponent.

Street: Wow, so you’re an expert.

AG: Let’s just say I’ve seen four episodes.

Street: Give us one tagline, one sentence that’ll make us want to come screaming to see A Reptile Dysfunction.

AG: I’m pretty sure you just said it.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

make it a success!

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

feast special feeds 25 for only $199

place orders in advance of your event offer available exclusively online

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

EGOOF THE WEEK: ALON GUR

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

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THE EASIEST ST. PATRICK'S PUB CRAWL MAP EVER We mean it when we say you’ll crawl (or you can just ride the Erin Express) for this Kegs and Eggs extravaganza

1

Pregame: Slainte

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highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

FOOD&DRINK

3000 Market Street

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What’s on tap: Guinness (Dublin, Ireland), Harp Irish Lager (Dundalk, Ireland), Smithwick's (Kilkenny, Ireland), Magners Irish Apple Cider (South Tippeary, Ireland) St. Patty’s Specials: Irish food menu, Regular Happy Hour specials, Erin Express Breakfast: Breakfast Sandwich from Gul’s Breakfast and Lunch Truck ($2.50) — this is our only stop that doesn't serve beer, so better BYO

Round Two: Blarney Stone

T

Brunch (more eggs): Bacon, Egg & Cheese Fries from Local 44 ($9)

T

4

T

Third Time: Millcreek Tavern

STREE

3

WALN UT

St. Patty’s Specials: Erin Express

T ARKET STREE

What’s on tap: Guinness (Dublin, Ireland)

39th STREE

M

3929 Sansom St.

2

SPR U C E STREE

2

40th S TREET

4200 Chestnut Street

34th S TREE

What’s on tap: Guinness (Dublin, Ireland) St. Patty’s Specials: $2 Bud Light, Erin Express

T

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4 Home base: New Deck Tavern 3408 Sansom Street What’s on tap: Guinness (Dublin, Ireland), Harp Irish Lager (Dundalk, Ireland), Smithwick's (Kilkenny, Ireland), Magners (South Tippeary, Ireland) St. Patty’s Specials: Erin Express

30th S TREET Hop aboard the Erin Express, a free bus that runs between 16 bars in University City and Center City, including all of the above, Copa, Smokes and Cav’s, between noon and 5:30. All bars will have drink specials and promise plenty of Irish cheer.

1 MARK ET

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

Snack: Tartufo Pizza from City Tap House ($15)

Photos courtesy of the DP archives STREE

Here’s a dictionary with that beer Ale: Beer brewed with

Hops: Dried cones picked

Wort: Malt–sugar solu-

top–fermenting yeast.

Warm and short fermentation period.

from the vine of the hop plant. These little boogers are responsible for the bitterness in beer.

tion that is boiled down before fermentation. Provides the perfect environment for yeast to thrive.

Lager: Beer brewed with

Yeast:

Balance: The relationship between malts (sweet) and hops (bitter). tainer in which beer is left to ferment.

bottom–fermenting yeast.

Require a longer, colder fermentation period than ales.

Fermentation: The pro-

Malt: Barely steeped in

Carboy: Large, rigid con-

cess by which delicious malt sugars fully transform into even more delicious beer.

water, usually distilled down to a syrup for home brewing. The kind of grain and its level of germination affect the taste of the malt, and the beer.

Creepy single– celled organisms that are responsible for turning the malt sugars into the alcohol you know and love.

-Isabel Oliveres

BEER BREAD

No wounded soldiers here What you need: Beer Flour Sugar Baking Powder Salt Grated Cheese (herbs, like dill or rosemary, are optional)

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

IN TRANSLATION?

Heat oven to 375°. Combine 3 cups flour, 1 tablespoon sugar, 1 tablespoon baking powder and 1 teaspoon salt (and herbs if desired). Stir in beer and mix until combined (don’t worry if the batter’s thick). Mix in cheese. Pour into greased bread pan, bake 45 minutes.

— Nina Wolpow

HOW DO YOU BREW?

BY ISABEL OLIVERES

There’s something you need to know: homebrewing beer, though slightly time–consuming, is not that hard. After buying a brewing kit and sterilizing all the equipment, the beer brewing process can be broken down into five basic steps.

First, you have to make the wort, which isn’t a disgusting skin growth, but the sweet, golden liquid that results from boiling down malt syrup. Wort is crucial for beer–making: not only does it provide a lot of the brew’s flavor, but it also creates the perfect environment for yeast to ferment.

Once the wort is ready, bittering hops are added and boiled to counter the sweetness of the malt and add depth and complexity to the flavor profile. The mixture is then placed in an ice–water bath to cool it down to yeast–pitching temperature (65–90 degrees Fahrenheit), at which point rehydrated ale or lager (never bread) yeast is added. By this point, it’s pretty much smooth sailing once you’ve put the fermentation lock on the carboy. It rests for around two weeks (brewers usually recommend a bathtub for this) while the yeast works its carbon di-

oxide and alcohol–releasing magic.

So a couple of weeks have passed and you’ve been super patient and you can now take a sip of your wonderful homebrewed delicacy, right? WRONG! Though it may look luscious, the beer in your tub is flatter than a keg the morning after a frat party.

To turn your brew into bubbly bottles of delight, a sugary mixture of corn syrup and water has to be added to induce carbonation. Now you’re ready to bottle, cap and rage with your homemade brewski!

THRCOND M IFT ILE CEN STO TER RE SE

TH

E

Shoes 214 Books S. 45th Clothing St. Furniture (Between Locust & Walnut) Appliances Mon. - Sat. Computers 10 AM - 8 PM Household Items .............and more! www.TheSecond Want to Donate?

Call for pick-up: 215-662-1663

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

The cliffnotes

Make your dollar go the extra mile at...

MileCenter.com 7

ARTS

WORK THAT CAMERA

BY MEGAN RUBEN

Hop on the Market– Frankford line and check out Project Basho, a gallery solely dedicated to the creation and display of photography. Project Basho’s 14–foot ceiling creates a unique studio space conducive to the exhibition of this versatile medium. In addition to displaying works of photography, Basho offers classes, darkroom rentals and even critiques, encouraging beginners and veterans alike to utilize photography as an expressive outlet.

Black and white darkrooms, color darkrooms and digital workstations are available for rent at hourly rates for ridiculously cheap prices

Project Basho

that . Even the gallery space 1305 Germantown Ave. is available for rental, offering Sunday–Thursday 12 – 10 p.m. a sound sys- Friday 12–5 p.m. tem, wireless www.projectbasho.org internet and spacious square a month, during which footage — the perfect venue for a midday– participants bring 10 to 20 photographs and then share rave photo shoot.

Project Basho’s classes and receive constructive range from “Photographic advice. If hands–on experiVision I” (an introductory ence ain’t your style, at least class) and “Black and White check out the gallery’s latest Printing” to “Food Photog- juried show, “Onward,” an raphy,” and they take place annual international comboth during the day and at petition involving 50 up– night. And because Project and–coming photographers Basho needs to be just a little from 26 different countries more awesome, the space of- around the world. fers informal critiques twice

Check out an extended interview and images of Orlando de la Garza's work on his ARTIST PROFILE at 34st.com!

Pia Johnson, www.projectbasho.org

8

Orlando de la Garza

From dark room rentals to photography classes and critiques, Project Basho hosts much more than the average gallery space.

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

LOL

BY ISABEL OLIVERES

DID YOU HEAR THAT KELLY CLARKSON IS COMING FOR FLING? SHE TOTALLY IS. DID YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE WAIT A LIFETIME FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS? THEY DO. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

2013 — depicting Dr. Samuel Gross performing surgery in 1875.

While Eakins’s realistic precision and keen attention to lighting are present in both works, developments in the medical field during the period between the creations of the two pieces are reflected on the canvas.

Here, Dr. Agnew is pictured in a crisp white gown, using sterilized tools to perform a mastectomy with the help of three assistants and a nurse. This kind of antiseptic surgery was not present 14 years before, when Dr. Gross posed in his street

clothes with similarly–clad assistants. This move towards sanitization is also reflected in Eakin’s use of lighter colors.

On May 1, 1889, the 7– by 11–foot painting was unveiled at the Medical School's Commencement — an eminent contribution to the visual history of medicine. So if you’re feeling apathetic about Seniors for the Penn Fund and want inspiration for a more creative contribution, stop by the PMA, where the The Agnew Clinic is housed under a loan arrangement with the University.

THE FINE ARTS SENIOR SHOW OPENING RECEPTION: MARCH 20TH, 5–7PM CHARLES ADDAMS HALL FINE ARTS GALLERY

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34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

As graduation draws near, seniors begin to ponder how they’ll leave their final legacy. Whether it’s getting their name on the Feb Club plaque at Smoke's or a brick on the 38th St. Bridge, little compares to a gift from 1889.

The graduating medical school class commissioned renowned American artist Thomas Eakins to depict their professor D. Hayes Agnew, who was set to retire that year. Instead of a traditional portrait, Eakins decided to paint a work similar to his earlier painting The Gross Clinic — an eerie scene loved dearly by the Class of

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N

ick Gonedes strolls into class a few minutes after its start at 1:30. He walks up to the front, drops his massive stack of papers and file folders on the desk, sets down his Wharton coffee mug and starts fielding questions. “What is the ‘Therapy Session’ on the syllabus?” asks a kid in the second row. The professor has set aside a lecture at the end of the semester to answer any lingering questions. He said he once wore a white doctor’s coat to that class as a joke. He takes care of some more housekeeping before launching into his lecture.

The class is Managerial Accounting, and as one might guess, it’s not the most thrilling offering in the department — well, maybe it is: this is accounting after all.

He’s been teaching Accounting 102 for years (he used to teach 101, "Principles of Accounting," but deemed the material too dry) and by now he knows the course inside and out.

Currently, he's in an anemic classroom with a sliver of a skylight letting in a few natural rays.

The students don’t look all that interested, and more than a few are fiddling with their BlackBerries below their desks.

Gonedes starts scribbling on the chalkboard and poses a hypothetical about vendors and buyers based on the equation. “Why would the vendor do that?” he asks the class. They’re all quiet.

“It’s not because he loves you. It’s a business,” he says.

It's one of those Whartonisms that would make an English major cringe. But he doesn’t seem to embody that business school ethos all too well, despite teaching at the most prominent program in the country for the last 30 years. He’s wearing jeans and a black T–shirt that says “Rockin’ the Bayou since 1969,” with the short sleeves rolled up a few times so you can see his muscles. He has dark Mediterranean skin and a puffy white ‘fro.

Gonedes's business card may

read "Professor of Accounting and Finance," but everything about this baby boomer screams rock and roll. Sitting in the third row of the class — he’s one of the kids on his BlackBerry — is Jesse Herrmann. He’s the bassist in Gonedes's rock band, Rail 3.

Nick Cocca, vocals

By calder silcox | PHOTOS BY SARAH TSE

he won’t deal with a drummer who can’t keep time. “You never know; is he going to speed up or slow down? It kind of affects the whole spirit. It’s like ‘who’s enjoying this?’ so we kicked him out,” Gonedes says nonchalantly.

For each of the band’s shows, he puts together an email flyer advertising the concert. At the top it reads: “THE WORLD TOUR GOES ON.” Everyone in the band has a nickname on the flyer. The band’s current iteration reads:

asking if he wanted to join the band. Hermann, like Cocca, had never been in a band before and had only picked up the bass two years before. He laid his concerns out for his professor in his reply.

“Obviously my answer is yes but I feel like you should want to hear me play first,” Jesse wrote.

But Gonedes always replies, “don’t worry about it.” Now Herrmann is quickly approaching what will be his first show. “He’ll be fine,” the professor says.

Gonedes doesn’t find himself comparing current members to the past but instead, he likes the fresh approach new members take on songs the band has been doing for years.

“It certainly changes the sound, especially for the originals,” Cocca said. “As every new guy comes in, the song starts to sound a little different. We could have one song and have four different versions of it."

Campus bands don’t have a long shelf life. Few last through four undergrad years before something splits them up. Even fewer stay together after graduation.

But Rail 3 has been rocking for Nick ‘Extreme’ Cocca, vocals 16 years now. “I suppose it’s less Mark ‘Mark’ Eisen, drums of a band and more of a student Jesse ‘Whiz Wit’ Herrmann, group,” says Nick Cocca, the lead bass singer and frontman. “You’re in McLean ‘Red’ Baran, guitar, it for four years and then you synth, vocals, bagpipes leave.” But it’s not.

Nick ‘Rock Doc’ Gonedes Cocca himself graduated from Drexel a year ago, but still reGonedes has been the one mains in the band. He even drives name that’s remained on the bill. a half–hour once a week from his “There’s a constant turnover, so a home in Yardley, Pennsylvania, to lot of times you’re moving ahead make it to practice. Cocca found and then you’ve got to step back Rail 3 through a friend in his a “Gonedes’s business card may say ProfesGonedes is cappella group, sor of Accounting and Finance, but evfrom the Flatthe Pennchants, bush Avenue erything about this baby boomer screams who had frontneighborhood ed the band for rock and roll.” of Brooklyn. a few years but As a youngwas due to graduate. because there’s a new member,” ster he first picked up a pair of Nick had virtually no musical he says. “And then you move drumsticks, but his mother was training before coming to college ahead again.” worried that the noise would get but all of a sudden he found him“I was the most recent step- them thrown out of their small self singing a cappella, learning back,” Herrmann chimes in. apartment, so she wouldn’t let music theory in class and taking He’s a senior in Wharton, and him pound on anything more a chance on a rock band with a even though he’ll only be around than cartons. One afternoon graying Greek accounting profes- for another year, the band was at his brother’s urging, the two sor. willing to take him just to get went down to the pawn shops on “It was a little intimidating,” he moving again. Herrmann walked Canal street in Manhattan and recalls of his first practice. “They into Gonedes's office early in the bought guitar cases. were like, ‘hey, come sing with fall semester to check whether he “Don’t you want the guitars?” us. And if we like you, you can could use an older edition of the the cashier asked. No need — the stay.’” textbook. cases were chick magnets. “Ooh, The group has been in constant “I was just looking around his you play guitar?” the girls would flux since its inception as mem- room, not even listening to his ask. “Yeah sure,” Nick would rebers come and go seemingly every answer, like ‘Oh my god, this ply. Nobody ever looked inside. semester. “The most common is Accounting professor has Stones In high school he received a a time constraint or graduation,” posters and everything all over.’” first–class rock and roll educaGonedes says, “or the two guys Jesse mentioned offhand that he tion, attending countless big– we threw out.” Gonedes is as played bass, and a few days later he name venues around New York. hospitable as they come, but even received an email from Gonedes He eventually did pick up a gui-

tar, but felt “outgunned” when he arrived at Penn as an undergrad in the mid–60s. The other players on campus had real talent.

“I had a lot of catching up to do,” he recalls. He never joined a band at Penn.

Now in his fourth decade of teaching Accounting, Gonedes had no intention of going into academia. “There were times I figured I’d go into the military and become a sniper,” he says.

“I swear to God — I didn’t even know what a PhD was.” But a friend from Houston told him that the University of Texas was “looking for Yankees.” He went down to interview for a PhD position and received a grant offer he couldn’t refuse. Two years later, Dr. Gonedes began teaching at the University of Chicago.

“I’m a firm believer that a lot of things happen by accident, and you either seize the moment or you don’t,” Gonedes says of his professional path.

After returning to Penn in 1979, he jammed occasionally, but never started anything serious until Scott Kegler walked into his office. A Wharton senior taking Gonedes's class in 1994, "Kegs," as he was known, came to office hours to ask a question and noticed the Rolling Stones posters that lined the walls.

Kegler saw the Forty Licks logo on the door and the two got to talking about music. Gonedes collects vintage guitars and amps (in addition to antique mantle clocks) that he’s found. Kegler and his roommate, Aaron Erter, both played. “Nick was trying to put this band together so I went over to play with him, and at some point Aaron started coming over with us, and Nick found a drummer and a bass player and we started working on stuff,” Kegler says. With two guitarists already, Kegler stuck to vocals.

By the second session they had already banged out an original song.

They set a goal of playing a

gig at Penn’s annual bacchanal, Spring Fling, and when April rolled around, they did.

“It seems like yesterday. I can’t believe how fast time has gone.”

The band hasn’t played Fling since, but Hermann says they're trying to perform at this year's festivities.

Through his students and friends of friends, Gonedes has been able to plug the holes and keep Rail 3 sailing. The name came to Gonedes when he was standing in a New York subway station. The original name was Third Rail. ‘That’s it! Power is everything,’ Gonedes thought waiting for a train. However, he was later informed there was another band called Third Rail, and when he found their CD, he thought they were terrible, so he changed the name to Rail 3.

Gonedes estimates that there have been seven or eight different members at each spot in the five– man band, which puts the total since it first started around 40.

Over the years they’ve played various bars on campus — Smokey Joe’s and The Blarney Stone mainly — but the gigs never last too long. When the bar gigs dried up, Gonedes created his own venue. 10 years ago, he founded Up On Stage, a monthly open– mic coffee house event held on campus. He schedules three acts for each show — Rail 3 plays one of the three shows each semester — and then afterward anyone is

welcome to perform.

When Up On Stage starts at 8 p.m., there are nine people in the venue, not including the opening act. Five are the members of Rail 3, one is in the third band and two are bona fide audience members, one of which is Nick Cocca's girlfriend. It’s the last week of the semester, a cold December evening, and a Friday at that.

Students are either looking for a party or a study carrel, not an open–mic night. Jesse’s parents sneak in during the first act and sit in the back. They’re easily the oldest in the room by about 30 years — well, except for Gonedes.

A few more fans trickle in while Slow Dance Chubby, a frat–boy five–piece band, plays their set of originals and a few covers.

Nick Cocca pores over some lyrics he’s written out while nursing a bottle of honey in his hand.

Every few minutes he sucks on the bottle to soothe his vocal chords. While he’s never had trouble with his voice at shows, he worries about the lyrics. Once he’s got the first two words to a verse, he can do the whole thing, “But if I can’t remember the first two words, I’m screwed.” In his first show there was a mental lapse on the lyrics to "Sympathy for the Devil." He stood on stage through eight measures of the intro trying to remember "Please allow me to introduce myself… " “That was traumatizing,” he said.

Out of nowhere, the room starts to fill up; there are maybe 40 people, just in time for Rail 3.

Gonedes says he frequently gets

weird looks when he takes the stage. “Usually I’m grabbing my guitar and it’s like ‘what the fuck are you doing,’ like I’m a roadie or something. It’s fine.” He throws his red Yamaha (part of the collection) on over his Stones

t–shirt, puts on his reading glasses and goes right into the opening overdrive riff of "Revolution".

There’s no scream from Cocca, or Herrmann for that matter, and they’re off. Cocca has a poppy sound to his voice — you can hear a little a cappella in it. Four songs in, McLean gets to do his baby, "Sweet Jane." He’s got a great big orange Gretsch, and he’s doing his best Lou Reed impression. Herrmann looks comfortable for his first time on stage.

They sprinkle in a few originals written by Gonedes and Cocca before closing with "Sympathy for the Devil" — of course.

Up to this point you could tell this band is still working on group chemistry. But once they hit Gonedes's beloved Stones, it all comes together. Herrmann really starts to move on the bass.

Gonedes catches his eye just for a second and gives a look of approval. McLean comes in with the “Ooh–woo” on backup. Cocca remembers the words.

A few days after the show,

Mark the drummer informs Gonedes that he’s dropping out of the band.

He’s got t o o much o n

his plate to stay with it.

Gonedes is already looking for replacements. Cocca knows a guy at Drexel who drums; he’s going to come to practice on Friday. And if that doesn’t work out, Herrmann’s got a friend at Temple who might be interested.

Another step back for Rail 3. And then they move ahead again.

Calder Silcox is a senior from Washington, D.C. He is a Science, Technology & Society major.

PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER TROLLEN

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

An Accounting professor and his rotating band of student rockers

Jesse Herrmann, Bass

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McLean Baran, guitar

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WILL FERRELL INTERVIEW Street had a chat with Will Ferrell about his upcoming soap opera–cum–movie, Casa de Mi Padre.

By JULIE KOZERACKI

Street: You are the king of improv. Did you still get to improvise in this film, even though it was in Spanish?

WF: Not so much. Yeah, it was a little difficult. The main challenge for me, since I’m not fluent in Spanish, was to make sure that I didn’t want the joke of this movie to be that I spoke Spanish poorly, so I was really focused on having as good of a pronunciation as I possibly could,

and then of course memorizing in a foreign language is a whole other aspect as well, so it drastically reduced moments for verbal improvisation. I had to rely on little physical moments and reactions and things like that.

Street: Is it harder to come across as funny in another language?

WF: We wrote the script in English first and then it was

translated, so I always had an exact comprehension of what I was saying, and once you know what you’re saying, you can put the right emphasis in the right places. Plus, the whole telenovela style and genre is so over–the–top that it was fairly easy to mimic and put yourself in that kind of zone. But as different as it was to begin, I just knew that the more dramatic I could be, the more serious I could be, that would probably play funnier than the fact that I’m speaking in Spanish.

Street: I know you thought a Spanish–language comedy would be funny, but I have to know, are you a fan of the telenovela?

WF: Um, I wouldn’t say I’m a huge fan. I only watch them from, I mean, every weekday from 11 in the morning untill 4 in the afternoon. So, I’m not like a crazy person about it. Uh, no, I’m not. I keep getting asked, “What are your favorite telenovelas?” and, sheepishly, I have to say I really don’t know any of them. I just basically got this idea from the thing I’m sure we all have done where you’re just flipping through the channels and you stop for a second, and you’re like, “What is going on here?

What is this show? Oh, it’s a Spanish soap opera. Ok, this is pretty intriguing.” And that’s kind of how I got the idea. But, uh, no, I’m not well–versed in them at all.

Ay dios mio: Ferrell in Casa de Mi Padre

ing of the amazing dream sequence and some of the cinematography. Is that part of what attracted you to the feature, or is that something that developed as it was being produced?

WF: Well, when you say 'attracted me to the feature'

of that was a really conscious choice to give it this kind of throw–back feel visually.

Street: I guess this movie is pretty different from all the other movies you’ve filmed, so how do you think the hardcore Will Ferrell fans out there are going to react to this film?

WF: Well, I mean, I think it’ll be a pleasant surprise because you literally don’t know where the movie’s going at any moment, and you really have to pay attention to the subtitles — you’re forced to lock into the story. I’m very proud of it in the sense of its absurdist quality, in the same way that we did Anchorman. You have a similar feel in a way, where we kind of threw all the rules out the window. So I think people who are coming to see something different will be fully satisfied.

"I only watch telenovelas from, I mean, every weekday from 11 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon."

Street: Beyond just being a parody of a telenovela, it’s a really stylish, stylistic movie ­— I’m think-

— I was in on the ground floor. We all kind of created it. But what you’re talking about in terms of the cinematic style, that was what Matt Piedmont brought to the table when we brought him onboard. He said, “I’ve been watching some of these 1960s, early 70s Mexican westerns, and I’d love to kind of mimic that.” He was able to use these really old lenses from Panavision, so yeah, all

VELVET GOLDMINE

of the week

The Rise and Fall of Christian Bale's Sexual Experiments Velvet Goldmine is a movie that sings. Its music is every bit as important as its vibrant visuals in immersing the audience in the Glam rock counter–culture of the early 1970s.

The film, like its subject matter, is daring in the way it unveils its story. It employs a Citizen Kane–like structure to slowly divulge the mystery at its core: Who was Brian Slade?

In 1984, Arthur Stuart (Christian Bale), a young British reporter working for an American paper, attempts to find out what happened to the pop star, whom he looked up to while on a path to sexual discovery. Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who thrusts his hips convincingly) is an icon for the Glam rock movement in the mold of David Bowie,

complete with his own alter ego — Maxwell Demon. With a shock of blue hair and many revealing, glitter–covered outfits, Slade is never more potent as a leader of the flash stampede than when collaborating with Curt Wild, a Lou Reed– meets–Iggy Pop–type figure played by Ewan McGregor.

McGregor and Rhys Meyers have electric chemistry both onstage and in their eventual romantic entanglement, their outrageous antics evoking a reimagined movement of theatricality and sexual exploration.

This is ultimately the great triumph of Velvet Goldmine; it is able to pay tribute to an era founded on the fluidity of identity and sexuality without shattering the mystique that sustained it.

Instead, director Todd Haynes has created a fantastical world of illusion that only still dazzles.

— Sam Apfel

Rhys Meyers lookin' fly

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Ferrell’s golden years aren’t up just yet In love with the fiancee of his shady brother, simple Mexican rancher Armando Alvarez (Will Ferrell) must step up to face the feared drug lord, Onza (Gael García Bernal). True to its telenovela roots, and despite Ferrell’s lack of fluency, the movie is entirely in Spanish (apart from a few scenes stolen by Nick Offerman).

But the laughs come not only from language barriers — they also stem from a commitment to deadpan dramatic delivery

and hilariously terrible sets that draw attention to the film’s own production. Interestingly, this commitment lends itself to a sharp, aesthetically–saturated directorial style that elevates it beyond mere spoof.

Led by an excellent cast, Casa de Mi Padre creates from its curious premise a movie both offbeat and entertaining.

— Julie Kozeracki

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MANCHILDREN THROUGH THE AGES You've seen Will Ferrell break down and cry in a glass case of emotion enough times to know he may not be the most mature, but he wasn't the first. Check out the evolution of the archetypal Manchild below.

BY JULIA LIEBERGALL AND BEN LERNER

Peter Pan (1953) This legendary novel/play/Disney movie/musical introduces Peter Pan as one of the first Manchildren to be depicted in cinema.

A Neverland native who enjoys frolicking with fairies and splashing mermaids, Peter’s mantra is that he “Won’t Grow Up” and that green tights never go out of style.

This feature took 2 years to complete. We hope you like it.

Tom Hanks in Big (1988) “Heart and Soul” on the giant piano at F.A.O. Schwarz? Baby corn? Powder–blue tuxedos? Tom Hanks experiences all of this and more as a 12–year–old boy who becomes an adult overnight when his wish to be “big” comes true. Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop shimmy shimmy rock!

Chris Farley in Tommy Boy (1995) As a dim–witted party–boy forced to save his family business, Chris Farley brings the laughs with his big heart and overwhelming stupidity. Tommy inspires even the laziest of us to finish college and be successful, even if it takes seven years. And also that speaking into a moving fan results in excellent Darth Vader impersonations.

Adam Sandler in The Waterboy (1998) Sandler stars as a socially inept, 31–year–old waterboy with a crippling stutter and a passion for foosball. Whether clad in Captain Insano pajamas, handing out water bottles or singing with Mama, Sandler’s Bobby Boucher is arguably one of the quintessential Manchildren in the history of cinema.

@34st

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

Will Ferrell in Elf (2003) Ferrell, an accomplished Manchild, stars in this holiday classic as a North Pole elf who goes to New York City in search of his biological father. Ferrell channels his inner Peter Pan through both his childish antics and love for green tights. Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?

Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly in Step Brothers (2008) Ferrell continues his manchild trend and joins forces with Reilly in this popular, lighthearted comedy about two adult men who become stepbrothers. It comes complete with bunk beds and drumsets, but please, don’t touch the drums without asking or you will be stabbed. In the neck.

With a knife.

Charlize Theron in Young Adult (2011) In one of the first films to feature a “womanchild,” Theron plays a divorced woman attempting to relive her high school glory days. A former queen bee turned washed–up author, Theron’s character suffers from prolonged adolescence.

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MUSIC

IN PHILADELPHIA, BORN AND RAISED RI

Will Smith ain’t the only musical thang to come out of the city of brotherly love. Here are some other artists old and new who used to have your ZIP code. BY FRIDA GARZA AND SAM BRODEY DG

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CHIDDY BANG WHO: Fun, quirky rap duo PHILLY CONNECT: Met at Drexel University FAMOUS FOR: Breaking the record for longest continuous rapping (9+ hours) KEY TRACKS: "Opposite of Adults," "Truth," "Ray Charles"

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Now you can make Jim Croce references instead of thinking you're clever and original when you quote the Fresh Prince theme song.

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34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

WHO: All–purpose funk, pop, electronic artist PHILLY CONNECT: Attended Germantown Friends School in Philly FAMOUS FOR: Awesome costumes; sickest beats this side of M.I.A. KEY TRACKS: "Creator," "L.E.S. Artistes," "I'm a Lady"

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OOTS

WHO: Legendary songstress of the 30s, 40s and 50s PHILLY CONNECT: Born in Philly FAMOUS FOR: One of the greatest voices of all time; responsible for several classic jazz standards KEY TRACKS: "Lady Sings the Blues," "God Bless the Child," "Easy Living"

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WHO: All–male, 90s R&B quartet PHILLY CONNECT: Met in 1988 at the Philadelphia High School for Creative and Performing Arts FAMOUS FOR: Most commercially successful R&B act of all time; a cappella stylings and a squeaky–clean image KEY TRACKS: "End of the Road," "I'll Make Love To You," "Motown Philly"

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WHO: Soulful, R&B/rock duo big in the 70s and 80s PHILLY CONNECT: They met at Temple in the late 60s FAMOUS FOR: Consistent chart–topping; a very overused movie song ("You Make My Dreams"…come true) KEY TRACKS: "Maneater," "I Can't Go For That," "Rich Girl"

NJ

HALL AND OATES

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WHO: Pioneering female rocker, most active in the 70s and 80s PHILLY CONNECT: Born in the Philly 'burbs FAMOUS FOR: A founding member of The Runaways (played by K–Stewart in the movie version) KEY TRACKS: “I Love Rock n’ Roll," "Bad Reputation," "I Hate Myself for Loving You"

WHO: Critically–acclaimed Y soul band with a political DD voice PHILLY CONNECT: Formed in 1987 at the Philadelphia High School for Cre-M AR KE T ST RE ET ative and Performing Arts FAMOUS FOR: Crazy collabs; not–so–subtly calling W AL N U T ST RE ET Michele Bachmann a bitch on SP RU CE Late Night with Jimmy Fallon ST RE ET KEY TRACKS: "The Seed 2.0," "The OtherSide," "You Got Me"

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WHO: Legendary folk singer–songwriter of the 60s and 70s PHILLY CONNECT: Raised in South Philly, attended Villanova FAMOUS FOR: Chart–topping hits, many after his death in a plane crash in 1973 KEY TRACKS: "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown," "One Less Set of Footsteps," "Operator"

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ALBUM REVIEWS Delta Spirit — Delta Spirit

WHILE YOU WERE OUT An inexhaustive summary of what happened in the music world over break.

BY SAM BRODEY

Delta Spirit goes hard in their third full–length effort.

The Americana–influenced rock band trades in their polished and completely likeable indie sound for a grittier, fuller resonance. At first, Delta Spirit features upbeat rhythms and roaring guitars, but about halfway through, the album takes on a slightly darker tone (“Time Bomb” stands out as particularly moody). Vocalist Matt Vasquez masterfully ties all the tracks together with his soulful twang, creating a cohesive sonic experience. It’s no coincidence that this album is self–titled — Delta Spirit has found their voice and they’re singing out loud and clear.

— Frida Garza

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band – those legendary rockers from Jersey – came out with their 17th studio album last week. The Boss, best known for 80s working–class ballads like “Born in the USA,” returns to familiar themes on Wrecking Ball. Capitalizing on today’s fertile Wall Street v.

Main Street tropes, he loads the album with fiercely political protest music, buoyed by hard–driving hooks, gritty flairs and Springsteen’s own classic voice. The Boss is back, in vigorous form – and he’s always worth a listen.

Check out: “Death to My Hometown” and “We Are Alive” Singer–songwriter Andrew Bird also released a full–length last week, entitled Break It Yourself, his seventh as a solo artist. The accomplished folk rocker is a gifted arranger, incorporating a diverse array of instruments, from the glockenspiel to his own whistling. He also shows off his unique lyricism, with distinct flairs for the literary and abstract.

Ultimately, the world of this album is creative and at times perplexing, but ultimately inviting.

Check out: “Lusitania” and “Hole in the Ocean Floor”

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Street sat down with Ronnie DiSimone, College junior and guitarist for the student band Marigolds. Their new album, Easy-Going, drops Friday on iTunes and Spotify. INTERVIEW By SAM BRODEY Street: How long has Marigolds been together, and how did you guys meet?

Ronnie DiSimone: Marigolds has been together since 2009, although back then, we were called the Modern Age. Lucy [Stone, Drexel Sophomore], Nic [Sheehan, New School Junior] and I met because we were all recruited by a mutual friend to join a band called Dancefloor Diplomacy.

We put out two EPs as the Modern Age, and then last year recruited Tiffany Ortiz and Ben Plotnick [both Penn Class of 2011] to accompany us at the Drexel Battle of the Bands. We ended up getting second place and opened for B.o.B. and Major Lazer at Drexel Spring Jam last year. Then, this past year, we changed our name to Marigolds and recorded EasyGoing.

Street: What was the recording process for the album like?

RD: The recording process for the album was very surreal. Lucy and I had been writing music together for a couple of years at that point, but this was the first time we sat down to hammer out what felt like finished versions of the songs we’d written.

We decided if we were going to make the record, we’d do it right; we hired Justin Chapman (who’s worked on records for Dr. Dog and others) and Dave Pettit at Mad Dragon to engineer it. It was exhausting, but I can’t tell you how amazing it felt to start seeing finished products of stuff we’d been working on for so long.

Street: What are the band's primary musical influences and inspirations?

RD: A lot of what we listen

DO YOU PAY PER VIEW?

to (classical, jazz, electroniFilm polled you to find out how you are getting your Sunday afternoon ca) really isn’t like the stuff movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN we play, although our listening definitely hough weinforms all knowour the watch Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that Penn stusongwriting in subtle Internet is for ways. porn fit this mold of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their The music is a fairly (thanks AvenuestraightQ), the League students well, with only RomCom fix online with free forward blend of rock and about 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel bedroom is no longer the only pop, sonically along the lines area being ceded to digital terri- watching movies at the Rave ev- and Ch131 rather than pay for of Girls, Spoon, tory.

For every girl the withRacondaddy’s ery semester. services provided by Netflix and teurs, Broken Social Scene, AmEx, window browsing on But how about the other ste- Redbox? the we reotype, the one that says all colFifthStrokes, Avenue hasetc.; beenbut replaced While 75% of us watch movdon’t write songs with that with online shopping. And lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for particular sound have in mind FYEs everywhere virtu- movement of information made it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a necessarily.

We just want(pun to possible by the interweb makes new release on iTunes — is hysally been rendered useless play rock with and the roll existence that’s enintended) of terical, but is joyable and funiTunes on a surface Whose recommendations do you take? the multifarious store. it worth the level but also rewards 50 Things are no differentcloser here 1.5 salads at 47.7% Other listening thematic at Penn, with wheresome the Rave gets Sweetgreen 40% 40 A Friend layers thetraffi surface nearly below half the c for and the it would Cinema Studies hints of some influences you midnight screenings of blockMarigolds after winning the lottery have cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% might not like expect. buster hits Twilight as Hulu I had seen it Professor or TA 20 or a label, we’ve got to booking, does the day after the newest ment in branding, theaters?

Street our own Street: little about everything ourour own website, our own episode Talk of 30 aRock airs.about This worry Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were allowed to choose more the challenges of being a selves. In addition to writ- legal issues, our own publicimakes sense. We Penn students dles aren’t than one option. college specifically ing,0 recording, and produc- ty… the list goes that on. All thatI are tooband, busy orprocrastinating bad, aonPenn Pennband.

InTouch and design- ing the record, we designed while trying to find guess.time to RD: Being lacrosse a band pinnies in college ing funny for the packaging,accessible dealt with once inPenn a while.

And entertainment and practice The average student clubs we’re involvedprobin to the inexpensive to anyone handled with an (who isthetough!

The biggest manufacturers, not fail out of college.

That’s is anything but average, if leaveisthe comfort of our beds to our AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t Amy Gutmann) watchlem that without manageown marketing, our own you also ask a big one.

T

Catch Marigolds with Fat Panther and Silk City tonight at 8:30PM at Mill Creek Tavern.

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

Justice

When: 3/20 Where: Electric Factory How much: $25 Why go: The show is sold out, but if you manage to snag tickets, this French electronic music duo promises a pumped–up show chock full of the biggest beats this side of the Champs–Elysees.

Grimes

When: 3/22 Where: First Unitarian Church (21+) How much: $12 Why go: The girl behind this futuristic one–woman–show has been called one of the best new musicians of the year, and after the release of her ambient tour–de–force Visions, we agree.

8

Dine-In, Catering & Delivery Happy Hour: Mon-Fri 5-7 Lunch Special: Mon-Fri $8.95 Early Bird: Sun-Thur $10.95

PattayaRestaurant.com • 215.387.8533 4006 Chestnut Street • University City

How P

47.7%

Why do 3.1% 25% 25%

es seven mov every semeste tic proves tha to watch said than at the R tional $20 les of popcorn a not included tions). The lo ing seven mo less than 30 b many conven paid services ing interrup buffering and immunity to and most imp ing to wait watching 72 m on Megavideo Not to me price to pay the big pictur savings of th students who services rather movie theater tween $196,1 depending on Netflix or iT Moral of the judge if you ju

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

concerts

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

STUDENT SPOTLIGHT: MARIGOLDS FILM

*A simple of 100 Penn surveyed to c 17 film vie their

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

meme of the week

ST. PATTY’S DAY PICK–UP LINES Is that a leprechaun in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?

There’s nothing saintly about this Patrick.

You must be a four–leafed clover because I’m lucky to have found you.

Are you after me lucky charms?

I wish I could stick my rainbow in your pot of gold.

You look famished. Wanna put my potatoes in your mouth?

If you think this is big, wait till you see it Dubl–in size.

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

I wanna explode on your face like an Irish car bomb.

18

It doesn’t take a Guinness to realize you’re the prettiest girl at the bar.

REASONS TO BE IRISH

1. The Potato Famine’s over.

2. You become a leprechaun on your 13th birthday. (12th for girls) 3. Even after college, you’re excused for being an alcoholic.

4. College Green brings out the color of your eyes.

5. Instead of a trust fund, you’re born with a pot of gold.

6. You speak in a Bonotone.

7. Your accent almost makes people forget about your ginger hair.

8. You can pull off a skirt.

9. You’re not British. And neither are your teeth.

10. It’s lucky. DUH.

'Tis the season to get lucky… here's to hoping.

Good: You avoided the compass.

Bad: In your strenuous effort, you knocked into someone.

Four-Leaf Clover: He’s a nice Jewish premed boy who helped you pick up your fallen books and proposed on the spot.

Good: You had a lot of fun over Spring Break.

Bad: You got arrested.

Four-Leaf Clover: Highbrow didn’t find out about it.

highbrow ego food & drink arts feature film music lowbrow

FOUR–LEAF CLOVERS

Good: Your sorority’s St. Patty’s tanks were really cheap.

Bad: OMG, what if XO has the same pun as you?!

Four-Leaf Clover: No other sorority considered “getting lucky” this year.

Good: Philly Diner closed.

Bad: Nothing’s taken its place yet.

Four-Leaf Clover: Maybe it’ll be a liquor store?

Maybe? Please? PLEASE?

34TH STREET Magazine March 15, 2012

Good: The Fling artists were announced.

Bad: There are only two performers.

Four-Leaf Clover: The third would have been the Shabbatones.

We want more contributors!

@34st

19

THIS BREAK, STREET WENT BANANAS

Italian Market, Philly

Seattle, WA

London, England

Ridgefield, CT

Brooklyn, NY

Did you go bananas last week?

Hastings–on–Hudson, NY

Send us your pics:

streetphoto@34st.com Gualala, CA