February 21, 2013

February 21, 2013 34st.com

OSCAR PICKS. SPRING MUSIC FESTIVALS. SHEPARD FAIREY.

february 21

4

2013

3 highbrow

word on the street, the round up, overheards, locust lexicon

4 EGO

president's day

14

ego of the week, president's day

6 MUSIC

spring concerts preview, oscars music, reviews

9 Feature

fiction and poetry contest winners

tequila taste test

12 Film

16

oscar ballot picks, review

14 FOOD

FROMtheEDITOR

asb

Last year, my dad and I began the tradition of spending spring break together. It sounds counterintuitive, Spring Break with the ultimate chaperone, but we're one year in and I’ve gotten to do some really cool stuff. And the best part?

He pays while I get bonus points for being a cooperative daughter.

This year, we’re headed to San Francisco. Sounds simple enough, but for me, it’s not. East Coast girls are cozier with East Coast things—it’s Ultra and Cancun, not Coachella and Cabo.

I’ve been to L.A. once. I was thirteen. I hated it. I could not figure out what was French about Chateau Marmont, besides the fries Lindsay Lohan was eating.

And what was the deal with all those cars? Did Californians have their feet surgically reduced, just like their wrinkles? It seemed like a

waste of sidewalks.

But now I’m 21 and in charge of an arts and culture magazine that exists in print in 2013, so I feel unfinished having never been to San Fran, embarrassed that my knowledge of this country extends no farther west than West Philadelphia.

So I’m doing it. I’m mounting the red eye and not the kind they sell at Capo.

If you’re a San Fransciscan, you know I’ve planned this trip meticulously because I’ve probably badgered you regarding your favorite raw foods bar, gayborhood and local eco–friendly dry cleaner.

They say that fact is stranger than fiction (and fiction is pretty fuckin’ weird), so I don’t think I’m being neurotic. Do you?

tequila taste test, spring break foods, byo tequila

16 ARTS

shepard fairey

18 lowbrow

street won't be back until after break—

20 backpage

we know, we'll miss you too. let's hang out.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

spring break tips, alternate spring break ideas

2

12

shepard fairey, campus gem, artist profile

oscars picks

fiction contest runners-up

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M. 34th Street Magazine Nina Wolpow, Tom Sawyer Sam Brodey, Huck Finn Alex Hosenball, Nicholas Alllen (of "Frindle") Chloe Bower, The Raven Sarah Tse, Sauron, Lord of Mordor Olivia Fingerhood, Pippi Longstocking Margot Halpern, Bella Swan Zacchiaus McKee, Ms. Frizzle Julia Liebergall, Ramona Quimby Sophia Fischler-Gottfried, Susan Pevensie Ben Lerner, Fantine Isabel Oliveres, Dulcinea

Abigail Koffler, Massie Block Ariela Osuna, Katniss Everdeen Michelle Ma, Lisbeth Salander Alexandra Jaffe, Godot Faryn Pearl, Casper the Friendly Ghost Patrick Ford-Matz, Pip Kiley Bense, Ginny Weasley Megan Ruben, Owl Gina DeCagna, Piglet Lizzie Sivitz, Mr. Hyde Zach Tomasovic, Dr. Jekyll Frida Garza, Holden Caulfield Zeke Sexauer, Jay Gatsby Lauren Greenberg, Blair Waldorf

Allie Bienenstock, Matilda Wormwood Madeleine Wattenbarger, Harriet the Spy Marley Coyne, Scout Finch Michael Shostek, Charlie Bucket

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Nina Wolpow, Editor–in–Chief, at wolpow@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898– 6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

Cover Illustration: Faryn Pearl

Visit our web site: www.34st.com

Contributors: Rosa Escandon, Andrew Scibelli, Alexandra Friedman, Elliot Rambach, Selena Oleck, Simone Stolzoff, Taylor Cook, Molly Hemphill, Molly Sloss, Emily Marcus, Ben Behrend, Jillian Di Filippo, Ciara Stein, Isaac Garcia, Daniel Maher, Brenda Wang, Gabe Morales, Bethany Christy, Cassandra Kyriazis

"You just get up there and sing, you pieces of shit." ©2013 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a–okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

U ST

W

OC

E

TWA

NSFC

That Was Awkward Did you see that dude being hugged by the girl in the Vagina suit? So TWA.

Not Safe For Class Careful where you open that Snapchat—it’s NSFC.

SALF S

L

Fresh out the box Stop look and watch Ready yet, get set it's... the return of Locust Lexicon

Strategically Avoiding Locust Flyers That guy is clearly faking a phone conversation to avoid Mask & Wig for the 100th time—that's solid SALFing.

SWUG Senior Washed–Up Girl Look at that bitch sleeping in a booth at Smoke’s. What a SWUG.

Fratting It Tight Backwards cap and matching bro– tanks… those Pike guys are FIT.

LFZ Letters Free Zone Student Health simply must be a LFZ, don’t want to wind up in the Round­–Up.

Husband–Shopping

Street has no droughts.

SNAG @ 34st.com

FIT

Sensitive New Age Guy Girl 1: Did you hear that OZ donated money to the Vagina Monologues?

Girl 2: Since when did they become such SNAGs?

Self–explanatory I can’t wear a sweatshirt to my class in Huntsman because I’m husband– shopping! God Karen you’re SO STUPID!

THEROUNDUP

over heard PENN at

Girl: Well, when they inspected his body, it wasn’t that small.

Guy: My class held a mock election for president. Obama and Harry Styles tied for the winner.

Oh, and for Vice President we chose Ronald Reagan.

Sorostitute: You had, like, a really good Twitter day yesterday Bro: My girlfriend has been saying aca–awkward all the time. What does that mean?

Girl 1: Where are you going for spring break?

Girl 2: I’m going to Antigua, I don’t even know where it is.

red fish, blue fish, me fish, you fish By michael shostek At the end of every day, I frantically hop into bed. The next day, I’m likely to repeat this routine. If it’s a weekend, I lend myself to the social scene, catch up with my freshman hallmates, some of whom I rarely see, and relish the night.

Penn’s “work hard, play hard” mentality sucks me right in. I’m guilty, I know.

What happened to my television blog?

Haven’t updated that since September.

How about running three times a week?

I’m lucky to do that once every three months. This disengaged pragmatism has me caught in a continuous loop, one that I struggle to control.

Being at Penn, I’m now in sole command of my actions. No one’s telling me what to do, or where doing that is going to get me. Since acquiring this independence, I see fewer of those things that make me tick (television, running, healthy food and environmental discourses). Instead, self– induced stress over that arduous quest for a summer job or earning an “A” in that irritating two–hundred–person lecture takes precedence. I’ve immersed myself in a ludicrous amount of classes (the total was six just a few weeks ago), executive boards of three clubs, and felt the need to add on extraneous commitments, like managing social media pages.

For a while, I never found time for my “passions," those things that propelled me here in the first place. I developed the idea that my time is an investment and that I have to attain something substantial with it. That’s partially true: I need to make the most of my opportunities, but my goal should be to fight my way out of the conventional routine, not into it.

In high school, I was zealous about the environment. Recently, I’ve collaborated with many of my peers to upcycle reusable products, which subsequently raises money for charity. It’s not perfect, but it helps to heighten environmental awareness at Penn, and it's a novelty for my monotonous schedule.

It’s hard to remember, but Penn picked us out of thousands of applicants.

We are “the best and the brightest,” or whatever A–Gut affirms annually at Convocation. Some of that’s propaganda, but not all of it. Once upon a time, we were selected based off our creative dissimilarities, characteristics, and quirks.

They were the idiosyncrasies we (or every 1 in 7) carolled in our admissions essays.

Surviving by working hard and playing hard is exhausting. Returning to the fundamentals makes life a tad easier and brings along a little bliss.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Now that Highbrow finally has its big (love you!), we're totally ready to tackle things other than fake Facebook accounts. We might still be reeling from the whirlwind that is #biglittleweek, but that doesn't mean we didn't have time to scrounge up some gossip for y'all.

A meeting of the minds this occurred this week outside the Women's Center. In the midst of VagMons season, one vagina–clad sophomore was campaigning on Locust when she was met by two Tabard pledges in banana suits, who catapulted themselves toward her on scooters. What resulted was a beautiful exchange of ideas and polyester suit realness, bringing many bystanders to tears. Said the vagina in question to the bananas: "I think your costumes are a bit phallocentric." The bananas shrugged and scooted off. #abstinence Attention Penn students: we are in a drought! Don't bother trying to find another TEP phone number, because Highbrow hears that Penn is experiencing a shortage of marijuana. As in, we're out of weed. The bongs are dry. We don't want to cause a panic, but PANIC. How will we get through midterms? How we will get through the new Mumford album? How will we cope? This is so stressful, it makes us want to smoke… BUT WE CAN'T. Stay strong, brothers, and pray for rain.

One freshman really left his mark in a Quad study lounge this past weekend. Allegedly, the boy got blackout on a blind date and, after unsuccessfully sexiling his roommate, made his way to the common room with his lady. The two proceeded to have unprotected sex (has Miss Cassandra taught you NOTHING, you stupid boy?) until finally, sensing his moment had come, the freshman pulled out and let his men swim… all over the carpet. This is one stain Bonded can't get out.

It was just another day at the races Tuesday night at FroGro. Penn Police were called in to investigate a suspicious West Philly filly after a female customer was seen galloping through the strategically–placed diagonal aisles wearing a latex horse mask. Upon capturing the majestic beast, the city's finest found the situation so amusing that they asked to borrow the horse mask for a photoshoot. Were there any arrests? Neigh.

wordonthestreet

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

egoof the week SIRAJ IQBAL Street: You’ve done standup comedy with Simply Chaos since freshman year. What’s that been like?

Siraj Iqbal: I saw the flyer and thought it might be cool. I’ve just relinquished my position as president to my roommate.

I mostly write material myself, but I test it out with the other members. We give each other ideas. Just imagine 12 Luna Lovegoods in one room.

Street: Have you always been funny?

SI: I’m still not funny. I’m struggling.

Street: Are your sets mostly triumphs, or do you ever get crickets?

SI: I’m a cricket comedian.

It’s not triumphant like “Gladiator” up there. It’s “A Bug’s Life.”

Sometimes you get booked at serious charity events… it’s not easy to perform after someone tells a story about their family.

Those don’t really work out, to

This outgoing Simply Chaos president recently joined Excelano, is developing a rad app and acts in the Penn Taiwanese Society and Penn Philippine Association shows. And “A Bug’s Life” is his standup comedy inspiration.

say the least.

Street: What professional comedians inspire you?

SI: The usuals, like Louis C.K., Bill Burr, Kevin Hart.

The classics, like Dave Chappelle and Eddie Murphy. And also Kumail Nanjiani and Hannibal Burress, I wanna give them a shoutout.

Street: What’s it been like joining Excelano this late in the game? How’d you decide to go for it?

SI: Well, I’m like the only rookie with a beard. Spoken word is something I never thought I’d do. I was just like, “Let me play, let me get in, put me in, Coach!” There are definitely parallels with standup, since both try to engage an audience and you’re alone onstage.

But I’m sure people are getting angry right now about me comparing them…

Street: How did you get in-

volved in Penn Taiwanese Society and the Penn Philippine Association?

SI: I’m acting in their shows.

They are just filled with wonderful people. As for similarities, I don’t think Taipei and Manila are that close, I think there’s an ocean in between them?

Street: So what are you doing post–grad?

SI: This is the first time anyone’s asked me that! Whoops…

I guess I should’ve thought of that before this interview, like in life. But I’m actually developing an app right now—all I’ll say is that it’s gonna make restaurant– going way better.

Street: Who’s your alter ego?

SI: Listen, my ego’s so big already… but a lot can be done with my name. “Sir" is like a knighted thing. And “raj” means “king” in Sanskrit I believe so Sir King? Also, there’s Ciroc the vodka and, come to

think of it, Sriracha the hot sauce.

Street: What’s your guilty pleasure?

SI: Sometimes I wave at people I don’t know at all, like, in a really friendly way, just to see how they react. Also, who doesn’t like being the little spoon once in a while?

There, I said it.

Street: What will you miss most about Penn?

SI: There was this one time I was at waiting in line FroGro and I saw a man’s card get declined as he tried to buy diapers.

Without hesitation, another man came up

and paid for his diapers.

He left in happy tears.

I’m going to miss seeing things like that. Also, the rich people. I don’t know how I’ll surround myself like this in the future!

Street: Describe yourself in under five words.

SI: It wasn’t my fault.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn…

SI: Those who admit they Facebook stalk and the big fat liars! Or, those who are poets and those who are poems.

Wow, that was deep.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 www.hummusrestaurant.com

215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

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Monday was President's Day, although you might have forgotten SINCE WE DIDN’T GET THE DAY OFF. But with “Lincoln” poised to win big at the Oscars on Sunday, Ego takes a look back at some of the POTUSes who have spent time at Dear Olde Penn.

By BEN LERNER AND SOPHIA FISCHLER-GOTTFRIED

GEORGE WASHINGTON

The original G. Dubya got the thrill of a lifetime when he was awarded an honorary degree from Penn in 1783! It was clearly the highlight of his career, but he didn’t show up to accept it for some reason. Bizarre! Regardless, the wooden–toothed, cherry tree–chopper visited campus several other times.

THOMAS JEFFERSON (ALMOST)

John Adams came to the 1775 Commencement, but TJ never came to Penn, even though he totally drafted the Declaration of Independence in the City of Brotherly Love! And he sent his nephews here. Guess he was busy inventing the swivel chair...

WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON

Many claim poor WHH is the only Quaker POTUS, but real talk: we have NONE. William peaced from the Medical Department in 1791 after four short months to enroll in the army. Foreshadowing for the nation’s shortest presidency?

Poor Will died of pneumonia a month after his inauguration.

WILLIAM MCKINLEY

Oh snap. When he was President of Princeton University, not the United States, this foreign policy boss (League of Nations, anyone?) was a 1903 keynote speaker. Penn–Princeton interactions are no longer so dignified.

FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT

While he was President, FDR was the guest of honor at Penn’s Bicentennial Celebration in 1940.

Fresh off the success of the New Deal, Franklin D. got an honorary doctorate of laws. Sweet deal!

HARRY TRUMAN

While President in 1960, Truman spoke on behalf of Democratic nominee John F. Kennedy at a rally at Irvine Auditorium. JFK himself had delivered a speech in the same room three years earlier. Unfortunately, the ‘60s were not a time for campus presidential lovin’, and no POTUSes returned until 1975.

GERALD FORD

The infamous visit heard 'round Van Pelt. While President in 1975, Ford gave a glorious Penn Commencement speech. Sadly, his return to campus was a bit of a flop, as Gerry was trapped in an elevator in VP on September 19, 1984. There’s even a plaque commemorating the crisis in the elevator where the drama went down. Another reason to use the stairs and stick with Rosenparty.

No Penn alum has ever become President of the United States, but many have visited campus... as have their wives. Hail to the high profile First Ladies.

BARBARA BUSH Commencement 1990. Inspiring one–liner from Mrs. Bush I closes the speech: “Somewhere out in the audience today there may be a future President of the United States. I wish her well.” BOOM. Those alums are 45 now, but we have faith a Penn lady will fulfill Barb’s prophecy soon enough.

HILLARY CLINTON Everyone’s favorite Meryl Streep selfie–taker delivered Penn’s Commencement Address in 1993... and took a joyous photo on the Ben Franklin bench, rocking a blue suit and hopefully not urine.

Hill also was awarded the Beacon Award by the Trustees Council of Penn Women at Annenberg in 1997. But for all we know, Bill Clinton’s November rally was the first First Man visit ever! #2016?

MICHELLE OBAMA Yep, in October 2010, Mobama spoke at a rally at Perelman Quad, and just last April, before she got bangs, she stopped by the School of Nursing with SLOTUS Jill Biden to commend the school’s commitment to the health of veterans. Still not over the fact her appearance was nursing–exclusive.

— Ben Lerner

BILL CLINTON

It was kept really hush–hush, but Bill actually was at Penn in November on Obama’s behalf! (The most action the Palestra’s seen in a while.) Sixteen years earlier, pre–Monica, Hill Field was a campaign stop for Bubba's 1996 reelection.

37 N.Third Street · Philadelphia, PA 19106 · 267-671-0737 vagabondboutique.com

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Pre–assassination, the dude for whom the “Glee” high school is named spoke at University Day, commemorating Washington’s birthday in 1898, complete with a reception at Fisher Fine Arts (then called Furness). In subsequent years, Teddy Roosevelt (whose great–great–grandson Kermit teaches in law here now!) and William Taft were University Day guests.

WOODROW WILSON

BONUS: FIRST LADIES CHILLIN’ ON CAMPUS

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

EGO PRESENTS: PENN PRESIDENTS' DAY PALOOZA

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

Atlas Genius— Beach Fossils— “When It Was Now” “Clash the Truth”

By GABE MORALES

By Frida garza

Atlas Genius’s debut opens with a good first impression as the retro–tinged “Electric” sets the standard for the rest of the album. “If So” follows, with similarly hooky guitar riffs and distant vocals that beg for a closer listen. Atlas Genius manages to find a balance between synth–pop and indie rock with “Trojans,” appropriate for both the dance floor and the power– walk to class. “Back Seat” is another standout, channeling Foster the People while replete with its own character. Although “When It Was Now” tends to blend together, it will be no easy feat recording another album that is as equally suited for pop radio as it is for a hipster’s iPod.

Grade: B+ Sounds best when: Mopping the floors 99–cent download: “Trojans”

Beach Fossils’ second full–length album, "Clash The Truth," sounds like a sophomore slump. With its 2010 debut, the group seemed like a standout contender among the litany of other Brooklyn dream–pop bands (think Real Estate and Cloud Nothings). But rather than mature into a more expansive, richer sound, Beach Fossils simply continued to make lethargic lo–fi pop. The album opener “Clash the Truth” is perhaps the most energetic—you can easily imagine people getting down to this anthemic song at shows. But it fails to set the tone because what follows on the album is pure haze. The exception comes in the form of “Birthday," which utterly rocks. But in general, the novelty of Dustin Pasyeur’s voice wears off with each track and marks "Clash The Truth" as uninspiring noise.

STRFKR—“Miracle Mile"

By Bethany Christy

34TH STREET Magazine February 14, 21, 2013

Known for its signature brand of spacey pop, STRFKR (pronounced "starfucker") is pretty appropriately named. Fans of earlier albums like "Heaven’s Youth" won’t be disappointed with the group's latest electro–synth and bass riffs, with “Atlantis” and “While I’m Alive” as two of the highlights. Like much of the band's earlier stuff, the faster–paced tracks on this album are destined for some pretty catchy house remixes. However, the barely 53–second–long “ISEA” proves that STRFKR is at its peak when it avoids ballads and sticks to what it does best. Overall, "Miracle Mile" is a solid start to 2013—pretty good, but far from a miracle.

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Grade: C+ Sounds best when: Deep in the doldrums 99–cent download: “Birthday”

Grade: ASounds best when: blasting your headphones to avoid flyer-ers on Locust 99–cent download: “While I'm Alive"

What would the movies be without music? In light of the Oscars, Street takes a look at the best song and scene pairings in movie history.

By Cassandra Kyriazis

“Tiny Dancer” in "Almost Famous" Cameron Crowe’s kind– of autobiography pic is pretty close to cinematic perfection and the scene on Stillwater’s tour bus with Elton John’s Tiny Dancer playing is pretty close to cinematic soundtrack perfection. Watching all of the characters sing along in unison to EJ’s anthem speaks to the bond formed among the characters on the tour and, in the least cheesy way possible, to the power of rock ‘n’ roll. Even after Billy Crudup’s character [SPOILER ALERT] pulls a serious diva movie by doing acid and screaming “I’m on drugs” before jumping into a pool from a roof, he’s still got it in him to join the singalong. And if screaming the lyrics right along with Stillwater and their groupies is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

“Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll” in "Risky Business" Tom Cruise in all his pre– Scientology playboy glory is one of the greatest things the '80s ever produced, along with this high school movie gem. The “Old Time” scene showcases exactly what we all want to do when

SPRING INTO FESTIVAL SEASON

By ariela osuna

“The Sound of Silence” in "The Graduate" The Graduate revolutionized movie soundtracks. The decision to enlist Simon & Garfunkel to write pop songs specifically catered to the film was something that just hadn’t been done before.

Even though “Mrs. Robinson” shouldered most of the soundtrack’s lasting popularity, “The Sound of Silence” was the perfect accompaniment to the final scene between Dustin Hoffman and Katharine Ross. As they stare off into the distance contemplating their totally brash decision to run away from Elaine’s wedding, “Silence” seems to explain all their fears and uncertainty post–confidence rush in one soothing and soulful three minutes.

ULTRA Date: March 12-19 Price: $795 Editor's Pick: Swedish House Mafia For the ultimate springtime rave, trek to the streets of downtown Miami, FL. With a lineup featuring Afrojack, Armin Van Buuren, AVICII, Calvin Harris, Major Lazer, Swedish House Mafia and Tiësto, amongst others, Ultra Music Festival has got your EDM taste buds covered. A daily itinerary consists of tanning in South Beach and then heading over to the homeland of glowsticks, glitter and neon lights.

Surrounded by 330,000 ravers dressed in neon or close to nothing, there’s no reason not to dance, drop and roll.

Literally. Choose either weekend and get ready to rave like you’ve never before. If you’re not already convinced, Ultra will be Swedish House Mafia’s final adieu. They’re surely going out with a bang. Get ultra pumped.

“Lose Yourself” in "8 Mile" The only song on this list to actually win an Oscar for best original song, Eminem's "Lose Yourself" paved the way for rap in the movie industry. It narrates the rapper’s struggle with stage fright and finally coming out of his shell to do what he does best—freestyle rap. The song is set to when Eminem (or his alter ego, B–Rabbit) is walking into his final freestyle showdown with whomever it is he’s rapping against, and the first minute pumps you up perfectly for B–Rabbit to [SPOILER ALERT]wreck s*** against his opponent. Still praised as some of Eminem’s best work, “Lose Yourself” is as memorable as they come.

Don’t Worry, I Didn’t Forget: I would explain why “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” is an incredibly iconic and perfectly utilized song in "The Breakfast Club," but you can just watch "Pitch Perfect" for an explanation instead. Seriously, I highly recommend it if you’re into the whole good–songs–in–good– movies thing.

COACHELLA Date: April 12-14 or April 19-21 Price: $349 Editor's Pick: Phoenix Head over to the world’s hipster Mecca in Indio, CA if you’re looking for a spring break experience that imitates the legendary Woodstock. A Coachella weekend consists of scorching 90–degree weather, a guaranteed sighting of Alexa Chung, Heineken–sponsored beer gardens, flower girl–meets–hippie street style and the Ferris wheel ride of your life. Among over 100 performers, headliners include Red Hot Chili Peppers, Vampire Weekend, Phoenix, The xx, Two Door Cinema Club, Passion Pit, Modest Mouse and Local Natives. The list goes on. Basically, anyone’s who’s good is going to be there. You should be too. Whether you dance around or space out, it’s all fun and games when you’re camping in the middle of the desert. Look out for surprise appearances—last year, a hologram Tupac showed up.

SXSW Date: March 15-17 or March 22-25 Price: $299.95 Editor's Pick: The Black Keys Offering a truly authentic musical experience free of mainstreamers and posers alike, the SXSW Music Conference is the largest combined music festival and trade show in the world and the first major music festival this year. Get your rock–ready kicks over to the Lone Star State for a week of good music. Following the SXSW Trade Show conference, SXSW (say: South by Southwest) showcases 2,500 performers in over 100 venues.

Standout performers include A$AP Rocky, The Black Keys, Grizzly Bear, Foster the People, Eminem, The Killers, MGMT, Modest Mouse, Morrissey, MSTRKRFT, Neon Indian, St. Vincent and Temper Trap will be performing all around funky, hip Austin, TX, for a nonstop music party with a Texan vibe.

34TH STREET Magazine February 14, 21, 2013

From Coachella to Ultra, we preview this spring's most appealing music festivals.

we’re home alone: raid the liquor cabinet and dance like an idiot in our underwear to our absolute favorite song. Inspiring a number of slutty dress–up days, Halloween costumes and one star–studded Guitar Hero commercial, Cruise’s air guitar scene is nothing short of iconic and unforgettable. And honestly, if this endearing teenager–starts–a–brothel– while–his–parents–are–away romp hasn’t won your heart before Cruise’s no–pants dance, it certainly will have afterwards.

“Jump in the Line (Shake Señora)” in "Beetlejuice" It’s kind of hard to explain why Beetlejuice is such a great movie. The story is that two recently deceased ghosts hire a “bio–exorcist” to get rid of the new annoying owners of their house. That sounds like nonsense, but it ends up a comedic and uplifting treat featuring vintage Winona Ryder and some hilarious crude humor. The use of Harry Belafonte’s song perfectly matches the tone of the film: goofy but great. Winona Ryder comes home from school and starts levitating while mouthing the words and hanging out with her new dead friends, and everything somehow feels right. Maybe this one’s just stuck with me because I’ve been watching Beetlejuice since I was six, or maybe it’s just one of the greatest movie songs of all time.

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

MOVIE MUSIC RETROSPECTIVE

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

WIN YOUR OSCAR BALLOT This is it: Oscar week! We know you probably have opinions about the big categories: best picture (Lincoln), best actor (Lincoln), best supporting actor (Lincoln) and the like (Lincoln). But those are only some of 24 categories!

We gathered up our best and brightest analysts to predict the smaller, less obvious categories. Consider this your cheat sheet. And the Oscar goes to...

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

ANIMATED SHORT FILM

VISUAL EFFECTS

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Brave Frankenweenie ParaNorman The Pirates! Band of Misfits Wreck–It Ralph While “Wreck–It Ralph” is a better movie, “Brave” is the only female–led movie in the category and boasts new animation technology. Besides, you can always bet on Pixar.

Adam and Dog Fresh Guacamole Head over Heels Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare” Paperman Disney’s meet–cute story is technically impressive, narratively flawless and completely charming.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Life of Pi Marvel’s The Avengers Prometheus Snow White and the Huntsman.

Between “Prometheus” and “Life of Pi.” However, “Pi” gets the edge for integrating CGI for both stylized sequences and for a main character; the tiger is truly a marvel.

Anna Karenina Argo Life of Pi Lincoln Skyfall It’s tight between “Lincoln” and “Argo,” but the former has the traditional sweeping, epic score that the Academy loves.

WRITING: ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Amour Django Unchained Flight Moonrise Kingdom Zero Dark Thirty “Django” is quotable and moralistic—surprising coming from Tarantino. It might be considered linear compared to his past films, but “Django” is undeniably satisfying.

Anna Karenina Django Unchained Life of Pi Lincoln Skyfall Roger Deacons did a great job with “Skyfall,” but its status as a Bond movie hurts its chances. Go with “Life of Pi,” which is both visually stunning and the current frontrunner.

WRITING: ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

COSTUME DESIGN

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Anna Karenina Les Miserables Lincoln Mirror Mirror Snow White and the Huntsman With talented “Mirror Mirror” designer Eiko Ishioka’s sudden death, the Julia Roberts flop might actually become an winning movie.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE 5 Broken Cameras The Gatekeepers How to Survive a Plague The Invisible War Searching for Sugarman “The Invisible War” presents a controversial topic in a powerful way. The press it received will boost it to the top of a strong category.

Asad Buzkashi Boys Curfew Death of a Shadow Henry Belgium’s “Death of a Shadow” manages to create an unforgettable landscape and an emotional journey within twenty minutes, a true feat for any category.

SOUND EDITING Argo Django Unchained Life of Pi Skyfall Zero Dark Thirty Sound editing usually goes for big blockbuster action movies (even “Transformers” was nominated in 2007). “Skyfall” fits in the tradition perfectly.

SOUND MIXING Argo Les Miserables Life of Pi Lincoln Skyfall “Les Mis” will probably win this category for the (shockingly) novel move of having its cast perform live.

Argo Beasts of the Southern Wild Life of Pi Lincoln Silver Linings Playbook This category always favors big names and quick dialogue. Tony Kushner and “Lincoln” have this in the bag.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG “Before My Time” from Chasing Ice “Everybody Needs a Best Friend” from Ted “Pi’s Lullaby” from Life of Pi “Skyfall” from Skyfall “Suddenly” from Les Miserables The surest best of the night. No one can resist Adele's siren song!

PRODUCTION DESIGN Anna Karenina The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Les Miserables Life of Pi Lincoln Theatrical, innovative, and polished, “Anna Karenina” deserves this one for its movie–as–a–stage–show setup.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM Amour Kon–Tiki No A Royal Affair War Witch “Amour,” duh. This should be considered cheating.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT Inocente Kings Point Mondays at Racine Open Heart Redemption No idea! There’s no rhyme or reason to who wins this category each year. Besides, these films are pretty obscure, even for us.

FILM EDITING MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING Hitchcock The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Les Miserables Despite the fact that Hitchcock didn’t look like Hitchcock, the film's supporting cast sported outfits and styles accurate to the times, and some of them even looked like their counterparts.

Argo Life of Pi Lincoln Silver Linings Playbook Zero Dark Thirty “Argo” was able to make a trip to an airport the most nerve–wracking cinematic experience in years, a true show of editing mastery.

By ANDREW SCIBELLI

Be sure to check out Street's Oscar Live Blog this Sunday at 34st.com!

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a CIA agent undercover in Moscow. Their relationship provides an interesting juxtaposition of old and new action movie heroes. Although the introduction of Jack creates a fresh father–son dynamic, his one–dimensional personality doesn’t complement Willis' established character. Also, the villain is not nearly as striking as those of previous films, like Alan Rickman’s

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“A Good Day to Die Hard,” the latest installment in the Die Hard franchise, is a success. References to the previous films aren’t excessive and with the return of the R rating, the film returns to its former over–the–top explosions–and–gunshots glory.

This time John McClane (Bruce Willis, as sassy as ever) teams up with his alienated son Jack (Jai Courtney),

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By elliot rambach | illustration by faryn pearl

T

he lamp at the front of the house, in the atrium, by the window, stays on. Another tract home in an upscale subdivision, somewhere in the mush of Middle America sprawl. In this house the lamp stays on. To ward off potential crime, to give the impression that someone is home, even when they are. This is the reason given. Shut the garage door, set the sprinkler system, pick up the mail, check the lamp.

But a hooded figure emerges from the void, in most versions driving a pickup truck, undersized and missing its tailgate. He turns into your neighborhood, coasting past rows of affluent households.

He does not think like you, he is not one of us, he is full of rage.

He sees your house. He stops. He likes it (even though it’s pretty average for this neighborhood, in terms of size and landscaping, as far as curb appeal goes). He chooses you, your family, your stuff.

Wants to smash your storm windows, stain your Moroccan carpet, the one you steam– cleaned last Tuesday. He’ll take your heirlooms. Bust your couch.

He’ll move from room to room, smothering your children as they sleep.

This guy, probably a white supremacist or an escaped convict or a vessel of Lucifer himself, he’s out there. During the daytime, as your granite countertops gleam in the sunlight of another enchanted morning, these things don’t happen to you. They happen to someone else. But when sunlight is gone, for fleeting moments as you turn off the bedside light, you question: is he out there, he’s

out there. He could be.

From where could such an inhuman force emerge, bent on your destruction? Those schools on the North side, where students pass through metal detectors as they enter in the morning, feed upon the state’s frozen lunches of coagulated meats, pregnancies are routine, principals wear Kevlar: this guy’s from there. And he dropped out too, in the tenth grade. Parents didn’t care because they’re on drugs. He worked a few jobs, graveyard shifts at gas stations, grocery stores, enough nights that by twenty he had the crazy eyes. Wears a hooded sweatshirt, always the same one, it’s red, he’s never washed it.

This derelict, this dreg of humanity—he should’ve just stayed quiet and stayed on his side of the city where if you need help there are churches and charities and you can always try going back to school, get a degree and become an upstanding citizen, not some nobody who wants to destroy everything we’ve worked for—he scopes out your neighborhood.

These days, he lives to observe the quotidian traffic patterns of the upper–middle class. Acuras, Audis, BMWs that pull out at 7:30; vans full of maids, pool– guy–trucks until mid–afternoon; around 6, a triumphal procession of returning breadwinners; most houses dark by 11. This guy knows. He takes notes.

And after watching for weeks, months, he picks you. Your house. Your life.

And this is why you leave the light on. He won’t come in if he knows you’re home or awake; he wouldn’t dare.

Herman leaves the light on. It’s a stainless steel floor lamp with a 100–Watt incandescent bulb, in the atrium, by the window.

It pairs well with the décor, not so conspicuous as to suggest its true purpose. Just a lamp, turned on, because I’m home. Herman’s home.

Herman has a daughter, Sandy.

She was once demure, submissive, piano and tennis lessons twice a week, Hebrew school. Now she’s in high school. A new school. It’s progressive.

The first day of her freshman year, at dinner, she talks about her favorite class, Ecology. She’s making friends. A few weeks later she joins the Environmental Awareness Club. On Saturdays she goes to public parks to pick up trash.

They want to make a sculpture from plastic bags and bottles, the school’s promised to display this trash–art on its front lawn.

Oh sweetie, that’s great, oh my little girl, says Herman’s wife. Oh I’m so proud, this community could use more kids like you. Well, good, says Herman, I pay enough for you to go there.

Within a month, Herman’s Sandy has the club over to the house for a dinner, for which Sandy and her mother spend a day collecting ingredients at local farms.

Oh I’m so happy Sandy is finding her passion in life, says Herman’s wife, in bed, we’ve raised her to be so responsible, so loving, and oh, I don’t like to pressure her about this but it’ll look great on her resume when she applies to college. Mm? Yeah, it will, says Herman, looking up from tax documents, a glass of

scotch. Herman leaves the bed.

He goes to the garage, programs his sprinkler system to activate at sunrise. He locks the back door.

He unlocks and relocks the front door, shakes its knob. It’ll hold.

He sets his home alarm system, turns on the lamp. He returns to the bedroom. He watches his wife snore.

A few days later, Herman is in his office. He prefers to spend his time there with his cedar doors closed. But today, he leaves them open.

Herman hums a tune about Herman. Last month he was made partner at his firm. Two weeks ago he closed a deal with a German energy company. Multi– million. Hum hum. Herman the Success. Take that Dad. Hum hum hum.

A shadow on his wood paneling.

He looks up and Sandy stands at the threshold of the cedar frame. I need to ask you about something Daddy, she says. Herman sweeps his reading glasses off his face, he’s a busy man. Yes Honey? Dad, it’s about the lamp, the one you’ve been leaving on at night, by the door. Does that lamp stay on all night, every night? Yes Honey it does. Daddy please can we start turning that lamp off? It’s a waste.

Do you know how much energy these light bulbs use? Daddy, if anyone in the Environmental Awareness Club knew I’d be so ashamed.

Herman rubs his chin, tapping his fingers on his desk. Hmm. Thoughtful deliberation. Considering your opinion. Hmmm. No, we can’t. Sorry Honey. We can’t.

Sandy still talking talking talking still in the doorway. Daddy

this is really important to me Dad please. Herman looks up at her, her face longer than he remembers, darker, crueler. He remembers the face from the photo on his desk, the day she graduated the 8th grade. After lunch he told her to get in the car and they went to the shopping mall where he bought her $800 of new clothing, she glowing up at him as they hurried from store to store, weaving through the crowd. He recalls this day and waxes upon its affectionate exchanges, its proof of his paternal accomplishment.

But he sees this face at his cedar doors, and feels tired. His limbs heavy. Sandy is shaking fists and talking gasping her forehead turning red, Daddy it’s such a huge waste of energy soon we’ll all— Boom. His eyes lose focus.

Rage. An octave above his normal pitch, cutting her off, he cringes.

Honey there’s a reason I leave that lamp on.

Beads of sweat bubble on his receding hairline.

You never know what could happen in this day and age. I keep it on so no one will try to break in. I do it to protect us, everything we have.

Clenching a magazine, through gritted teeth, ink staining his hands.

The lamp stays on.

Bitch.

He is still. The room pounding with his heart. Panting and pulsing. Okay, Dad, says Sandy. She leaves. He puts his glasses back on, but he’s been squeezing them and the right lens has popped out and fallen to the floor somewhere.

He calls her, Sandy can you come here, hey, Honey, please come here. She doesn’t come, no one does.

The lamp stays on. He thought that Sandy might challenge him and stay up into early hours of the morning, waiting until he goes to sleep, switch it off. Or God forbid tell her mother. But she doesn’t bring it up again.

Weeks after, Herman is home alone. His wife is away for her 50th birthday experiencing the best cosmetic surgical residency in North America, a surprise gift. Herman wouldn’t shell out for Switzerland. He wears a robe and slippers. He anticipates no disturbances. Sandy is out. At a friend’s.

It is 10. Herman has already smoked a cigar, swallowed two gin and tonics, exhausted both sides of his prized Keith Jarrett at the Fillmore record. He sinks into the couch in his office, memory– foam. He pours another gin and tonic, sips. Might as well. Pah pah pah. Ahh. This gulp of bubbles energizes him. This body can no longer contain him. He jumps up and watches the imprint of his behind absorbed into the couch. He paces. He hurries into the atrium. His wife calls it a vestibule, but it’s an atrium. Not a fucking vestibule.

Oh–I’m–just–old–fashioned–I– guess, she says. I’d like to punch her in the mouth. The lamp by the front window is on.

Looking out the front window he sees car lights in motion, narrowing. He cups his hand around his eyes, leans against the window. Lights bursting off his

brick mailbox down by the curb, narrowing as they move down the road, approaching his house.

The car passing, a large white SUV. He watches it pass, hands still cupped, the comfortable cool window sticking to his forehead.

He’ll stay here for a bit. Mmm. Comfortable, this chilly silence.

Herman waits. His breath fogs the window, hahh, sahhh. My lovely silence. The glass sucks heat from his now numb forehead.

Then, more car lights. More traffic than usual tonight. Another growl, a roar, moving toward his curb, again, louder than the last, this one ripping, screaming as it flies down the road. The white SUV. It stops, this time a full stop. It sits, waits, watching.

Herman is still.

The silence of its presence is a fire gnawing at Herman’s limbs.

His ears ring. Then, finally; the car screams again. It zooms up the street, the roar still present in the distance. It’s him. The guy.

It’s time.

Herman time. Herman’s curb, Herman’s house, Herman Street.

Herman rushes into his office, grasping for what is big, what is sharp: a hooked, cast–iron poker for a fireplace.

Then, to the garage, to the Lexus. He’s going to find this fucker.

Gonna hunt you down. Gonna send you a love letter, straight from Herman. Herman revs the engine. The garage spins. He peels out of the driveway, shoots into the darkness. He forgets to close the garage. The back door is unlocked. The lamp by the front window is on. Herman’s coming.

You fuck.

e runn the ba ers–up on ckpage

by Simone Stolzoff “Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn” –Garrison Keillor I have had the privilege of sampling a few varieties of corn in my lifetime.

White corn has tender kernels— consistent, succulent crunch in every bite.

Yellow corn is gentle on the palate and can balance almost any spice.

You’re more like maize— The gush of flavor in each mouthful is well-worth the extra time required to prepare you properly.

So when I repeatedly take you out to Big Nates BBQ on Friday nights, I hope you are flattered, but know that I’m also in it for the corn.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Read th

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

10

FICTIO N CONTE S WINNE T R

Elliot Rambach is a senior from Tulsa, Oklahoma, studying classics.

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

SPRING FOOD BREAK(DOWN) Forget airport food. Don’t miss out on delicious local dishes, from the Bahamas to Baja.

By Emily Marcus

Destination: Eat:

Tastes Like:

1. Bahamas

1. Conch: The national food of the Bahamas. Basically a really big ocean–snail.

1. Fresh clams or calamari, but chewier.

2. Dominican Republic

2. Tostones: Delicious twice–fried plantains.

2. A sweeter, thinner, denser tater tot.

3. Jamaica

4. Mexico

3. Jerk chicken: Spicier than anything here on the mainland. Make sure to get it with a side of rice.

3. Vinegar, hot sauce and cinnamon had a long cuddle sesh with chicken.

4. Nopales: Cactus stripped of its spikes, sliced and grilled. Best served in a refreshing salad with tomatoes and onions.

4. Tangy green beans.

NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS

Drink With: 1. Goombay Smash. Match your drink to the Caribbean sunset, the sweet combo of spiced rum and apricot liquor will pair nicely with the salty conch.

2. Mamajuana. Rumor has it this Port–like concoction of rum, red wine and honey helps you speak the language of love (or lust—it is Spring Break). Split some tostones with that cutie by the pool and let the drink work its wonders.

3. Rum Punch. Give rum and Coke a week–long break with this strong (and boozy) punch featuring two kinds of rum, coconut, lime, grenadine and a medley of fruit juices.

4. Margarita. Fight your Copa withdrawal with the best margaritas you can find.

The lime juice is fresher, the tequila is better, the flavor is spectacular.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Make your dollar go the extra mile at...

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We are accepting submissions of films which will be screened in the College Houses over the course of four nights. Prizes range from $500 to $100 — not to mention the chance to screen your cinematic artwork in front of a large audience!

For complete rules for submission, please see the website below. The competition is open to all students of the University of Pennsylvania.

Submission deadline is Friday, March 18, 2013.

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Poor tequila gets a bad rap: one night with too many Cuervo and some people swear off it for life.

In the name of journalism, Street decided to sample tequilas options and figure out which affordable one reigns supreme. Here be the feedback: Out of respect to our tasters’ taste buds (and bodies), we did not serve Tortilla Tequila. Here be the feedback:

Tomorrow is National Margarita Day! Don't miss out on food and drink specials at Mexican restaurants around town.

TEQUILA'S BEST FRIENDS

Classic Margarita (serves four): In a pitcher combine 8 oz. silver tequila, 4 oz. orange liqueur (like Cointreau or triple sec), the juice of four limes and about 1 cup of ice-cubes. If the pitcher has a lid, shake it about 20 times. If not, use a whisk or a large spoon to mix it vigorously for about 45 seconds.

Pour into glasses with a salted rim.

Mix up your rim: Chili salt: 2 parts salt, 1 part chilli powder Too lazy to make margs? Here are our favorite no–work mixers: Jarritos Grapefruit Soda (Distrito and Shop’n’Bag sell it) CITRUS ANYTHING (Lemonade, orange juice, grapefruit juice) When in doubt, squeeze some lime.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Guacamole: Chop half a small red onion, two plum tomatoes and a handful of fresh cilantro. Split 3 ripe avocados in half and spoon the pulp out into a bowl. Mash with a fork and add in the juice of 3 limes. Mix in the chopped onion, tomato and cilantro and finish with 2 teaspoons of salt. Serve with tortilla chips.

13

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Tired of the same ol' BYOB? Try a BYOT(equila). You won't slap a bag, but you BEYOND FILM will squeeze a lime. Get your fiesta on all over town.

How Penn Students Watch Movies DON MEMO BY ALLIE BIENENSTOCK Borrow from Library DO YOU PAY PER VIEW? 34

ST

Film polled you to find out how you are getting your Sunday afternoon movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN

24.6%

Don't Watch Movies Theaters

T

Free Streaming hough we all know the watch Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that Penn stu47.7% 16.9% Paid Online Services Internet is for porn fit this mold of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their El Azteca Las Cazuelas Tres Jalapenos (thanks Avenue Q), the League students well, with only RomCom fix online with free 714 Chestnut St. 426 W. Girard Ave. 901 S. 8th Street bedroom is no longer the only about 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel 215–351–9144 9.2% 267–239–2358 area being ceded to215–733–0895 digital terri- watching movies at the Rave ev- and Ch131 rather than pay for $$ $$ $ tory. For every girl with daddy’s ery semester. services provided by Netflix and AmEx, window browsing on But how about the other ste- Redbox?

1.5% Getting there: Market–Frankford Getting Take75% the Market–Frankford Getting there: Walk to the bus stop on the south Fifth Avenue hasTake beenthe replaced reotype, theLine one that says all col- there: While of us watch mov- Line to to 8th online Street Station, then And walk a block south toareElpoor? Girard then walk up 50% to 4thpay Street with shopping. lege students The freeStation, ies online, nearly for (about 30 side of 38th and Spruce, then take the 40 bus down Azteca (about 20 minutes total). minutes total).

8th and walk south to Tres Jalapenos FYEs everywhere have virtu- movement of information made it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a Why doto you go South to theandmovies?

While the front area of El Azteca is great for casual If you’re looking for a place to openly drink tequila (about 30 minutes total). ally been rendered useless (pun possible by the interweb makes new release on iTunes — is hys3.1% 6.3% meals withwith a group of friends,ofthe back room is a at noon, Las Cazuelas is the place forbut you.is The resHighly recommended forOther groups because of its low intended) the existence terical, great place to get rowdy.

The portions are large, taurant is open for brunch, lunch and dinner, makprices, huge portions, and large space, Tres JalapWhose recommendations do you take? the multifarious iTunes store. it worth the It's a way to hang out with friends well–seasoned and occasionally a little too greasy ing tequila–drinking at any time of day completely enos should definitely be the location for your next 25% 50 Things are no different here 1.5 salads at 47.7% Other It's a good study break 40.6% (so extra delicious). cangets bring your own tequila acceptable. Dishes range fromSweetgreen simple mole poblano celebratory BYO. The mixes are fairly cheap ($5) at Penn, where theYou Rave 40% 40 A Friend It makes you feel Nothing relaxed and on happy to include onetraffi of Elc Azteca’s ($17.50) to slightly more adventurous picks like and are completely free on Mondays. nearly halfinthe for the mixes or order your it would Cinema Studies 25% own at thescreenings bar. Options the guacamole ($5), chuleta tentacion Major ($15.50), a grilled $14 and all of the burritos midnight of like blockhave pork cost ifloin topped the menu costs more thanRequired for Class 30 26.2% 25% 25% buster hitssupreme like Twilight as and Huluchimichanga ($14) are with grilled pineapple I hadofseen it enchilada ($14) pistachio mole are known to be phenomenal—make sure to ask Professorand or TA a layer does the day made after and the sure newest in ($6.50) theaters?is also a authentically to please.20 verde. The vanillaStreet tres leches cake for your burrito “wet,” and it will leave the kitchen episode of 30 Rock airs. This Ramen noosure hit with any crowd. smothered in salsa verde and cheese.

10 *Students surveyed were allowed to choose more makes sense. We Penn students dles aren’t es seven movies, more or less, than one option.

0 are too busy procrastinating that bad,(free!)

I and every semester.

SimpleCombo: arithme-Watermelon margarita mix ($5) Winning Combo: Peach margarita mix ($7) and Winning combo: Original margarita Winning on Penn andsmoky designguess.thing that tic proves that $40 cheaper pollo locoInTouch ($14). The salsa ranchera covercamarones al ajillo ($12). The only tastes and it’s al pastor tacos ($7.75). The watermelon margaing the funny pinnies forthe sweetness entertainment accessible The averagemix Penn student to watch movies on The Netfltacos ix al pastor are red(ish). Seems ing pollolacrosse works great with of bold betterand than free margarita is when you drink it said ritas are red. the clubs we’re involved in to inexpensive to anyone alongside with an spicy (whoshrimp. is anything but average, if than at thelike Rave, and anmade addi-in heaven to us. peach flavor. a match leave the comfort of our beds to AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch- tional $20 less on iTunes (cost of popcorn and Mike and Ikes not included in these calculations). The low cost of watching seven movies on iTunes for >> Total amount of Stopthein for a mani/pedi less than 30 bucks is worth money spent in movie many conveniences thator online one oftheaters* our waxing

by Penn paid services afford us: not bestudents each semester services. ing interrupted by incessant buffering and commercials, the immunity to computer viruses and most importantly, not havNEW, LONGER HOURS ing to wait 54 minutes after Mon, 9am-6pm Total8:30am-6pm amount of watching 72 minutes of a movie Tues &>> Weds, money spent watching on Megavideo.

Thurs & Fri, 8:30am-6:30pm online, if all people who Sat, 8:30am-5pm Not to mention, it’s a small paid for online services price to pay when you lookSun, at 11am-5pm Dine-In, Catering & Delivery used iTunes* the big picture — the combined savings of the 47.7% of Penn Happy Hour: Mon-Fri 5-7 students who pay for their online services rather than going to the Lunch Special: Mon-Fri $8.95 movie theater is somewhere between $196,136 and $295,344, >> Total amount of Early Bird: Sun-Thur $10.95 depending on whether they use money spent watching Netflix or iTunes, respectively. online, if all people who Moral of the story is: we won't paid for online services judge if you just stay in bed. used Netflix*

BY THE NUMBERS

34TH STREET STREET Magazine 1, 2011 34TH Magazine December February 21, 2013

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Why, you ask? Because he’s the man…duh.

Things you should know about Shepard Fairey:

• His birthday was last Friday… Happy Birthday Shep! Is it cool if we call you Shep?

• He started out as a t–shirt and skateboard designer when he was around 14, designing easy–to–use stencils for his friends.

• He went to Rhode Island School of Design, but was like, totally stifled by a traditional fine arts education.

• Many have described his style as a collision of Warhol and social realism.

• His stenciled design for Andre the Giant, a professional wrestler, pretty much went viral and arguably kickstarted his career. Andre the Giant stickers were everywhere—billboards, street signs, buildings, you name it—across the United States. The design has now developed into a full–fledged clothing line.

• His work is included in permanent collections around the country, a seemingly contradictory idea for a street artist. But as you’ll see if you continue reading, Fairey is a bundle of contradictions.

• As a testament to his total badassery, Fairey was arrested before his first solo exhibition at the Institute of Contemporary Art, Boston on a warrant for vandalism (aka tagging).

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

This week we’re all about street artist SHEPARD FAIREY.

Hit up @34st.com for a DIY: Fairey–inspired CD case.

FAIREY IN PHILLY Check out these two Fairey murals, flourishing in the gritty streets of our very own Philadelphia.

By BEN BEHREND

Adjacent to the Rocket Cat Café in the Fishtown area of Philly is a large mural of a woman wearing a traditional rice paddy hat while holding a machine gun with a rose petal at the tip of her barrel. Politically provocative and satirical depictions of individuals such as this are common in Fairey’s art. In the background of the mural, Fairey’s commonly placed “Andre the Giant” stares down passerby. Unfortunately the mural was tagged with graffiti last year, but since has been almost entirely restored to its original state.

2621 W. Gerard Ave.

Fairey’s other mural in the city depicts a woman colored in a bold Fairey–red. She partially covers her face with her jacket. The work also has Fairey’s ubiquitous “Andre the Giant” image, along with the OBEY symbol, which complements many of his works. The unflinching propaganda–like aesthetic of Fairey’s mural manages to simultaneously glorify and satirize his subject, delivering a convincing message regarding the power of politicized art.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

2001 Frankford Ave.

*Fairey’s final mural at 6th and Reed was tagged beyond repair and removed in 2010.

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THE FAIREY CONTROVERSY: A PHOTO STOLEN OR A PHOTO REVITALIZED A lawsuit between Fairey and the Associated Press makes us question the boundaries of creative license.

By MEGAN RUBEN When we look to the now–iconic image of HOPE from the 2008 Obama campaign, it’s hard to believe we can trace it all back to a single artist—Shepard Fairey. Or at least that's how we've credited it. Fairey was entangled in a lawsuit with the Associated Press (AP) after using one of the corporation’s photographs as a source image for his poster. In the wake of this dramatic lawsuit, we are left with the shattered remains of the legendary street artist’s reputation.

This case stirs up a difficult question in the modern art world: how do we distinguish copyright infringement from a contemporary reference to popular culture? We can try to look back in history at Richard Prince, Jeff Koons and the famous Andy Warhol—all of whom were sued for

HOPE

similar references to source images. If an artist is sued after his work enjoys exponentially more success than the original “stolen” piece, does this invalidate the lawsuit altogether?

Fairey’s “HOPE” is an image of “Fairey–red” (a color integral to many of the artist’s other works), off–white, and light blue. It bears the bold contours and cropped composition undeniably consistent with the artist’s distinctive style. Shouldn’t the AP be, if anything, grateful its image became so popular? After all, the photograph of then–senator Obama lay dormant for two years before it was revitalized and given a new life through the lens of Fairey’s creative genius. Because of Fairey, the image gave the Obama campaign an iconic brand, inserting itself into the pages of American his-

tory and redefining the role of art in politics for years to come.

Flash forward a few months after the case first opened and Fairey is sentenced to two years of probation and 300 hours of community service for deliberately destroying evidence of his use of the AP’s photograph.

Whoops.

Where should the line between copyright and creative license be drawn? In a world saturated by images, should that line even exist? It seems that the unanticipated success of “HOPE” in comparison to the original AP photograph—and not to mention Fairey’s reckless actions— leaves us with more unsettled questions than concrete answers.

Give your opinion on copyright infringement in art at our online poll @34st.com.

IF YOU’RE FEELING FAIREY… Then take a look at these two street artists and their eye–catching graphic designs.

By JILLIAN DI FILIPPO

If you like Fairey’s graphic patterning, then check out Kehinde Wiley.

Wiley, a contemporary New York–based portrait painter, sets his subjects (young, urban, black males) against richly patterned, graphic textiles derived from the early European Renaissance.

He recycles the settings of such iconographic European paintings as “Napoleon Crossing the Alps,” and replaces the regal Renaissance men with today’s urban youth. Much like Fairey’s work, Wiley’s art tends to make the viewer slightly uncomfortable in his unusual mixing of historical times and social classes; he wants the viewer to investigate this strangeness. By synthesizing historical and current cultural references, in each piece, Wiley provokes a discussion about the sociopolitical role of young black men in contemporary society.

you have a nice break.

34st.com

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

of In the heartCity! y it Univers

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If you like Kehinde Wiley’s manipulation of Renaissance subjects, then check out Jimbo Phillips.

Hailing from Santa Cruz, California, Phillips is known for creating eye–catching and sometimes gory graphic designs for skateboard decks. In “Dining With the Dead” (Emmanual Guzman Pro Model), Phillips blends pop–culture influences with religious references in his design, in which Leonard Da Vinci’s Renaissance painting, “The Last Supper,” merges with the traditional Mexican Day of the Dead feast. The business of graphic art runs in the family—Jimbo’s dad, Jim Phillips, created all of the designs for Santa Cruz Skateboards back in the ’70’s and ’80’s, including the iconic “Screaming Hand.” The playful, psychedelic nature of Phillips Junior’s work is often inspired by the California art staples from his father’s time, like “surf culture, classic cars and tattoos.” Tacos and cervezas replace the bread and wine, of course.

"In all my pieces, there’s a popping element of color. I rarely work in black and white, which contradicts my personal everyday look if you saw me walking down the street. I’m always wearing black on grey with a splash of white. But nothing’s more satisfying than watching colors dance on canvas!"

Check out an extended interview and artwork by multimedia artist Legarlin Li @34st.com.

BY CIARA STEIN “Seated Woman” is a bronze sculpture, by Herbert Seiler, of— surprise, surprise!—a seated woman, outside Fagin Hall. Where is Fagin Hall? If you aren't a nurse you might not have ventured to this part of campus before. If that is the case, then you're missing this misses. The stylized, abstract figure is both attentive and relaxed. Her distorted proportions and carved curves offer a romanticized perception of the female form. Meanwhile, her inquisitive gaze grabs your attention. The sculpture is one of Seiler’s many seated women that are featured all across the country and the world. A sculptor from Czechoslovakia who spent an extended period of his life in Greece, Austria and Ethiopia, Seiler’s global traveling greatly influenced his work.

Accordingly, he used a vast range of materials, from iron to postage stamps and had depicted a large array of subjects, from tribal groups to floral still lives.

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Seated Woman

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34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

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LOWBROW GETS TRASHY. SPRING BREAK EDITION.

I don’t know about you, but every time Spring Break rolls around, Lowbrow is wishin’ we had us some sweet tattoos. We’re here to help you use nature’s best skin–altering device: THE SUN! Just follow the directions below and use the cut–outs to get a tan in all the areas you desire and send the right message.

Lowbrow’s got your back. We want your sun tat to be customized to your situation.

Everyone on the beach will know you DGAF. YOLO. Go big or go home.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Make sure that this arrow is pointing directly at your genitals. Answer the question that’s on everyone’s mind without having to get awkward about it. (Editor’s note: Only wear this if you are actually STD free. Otherwise it’s a public health issue.)

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Listen, we all know, things are gonna get crazy. Use the sun to burn the words “HOOKUP TALLY” into your skin, then simply tally with a sharpie underneath.

This self–referential sun–blocker will show the world that you don’t tan unless you can send a message at the same time.

You won’t even have to tell your fellow spring break partiers you go to Penn, they’ll just see it on your hot bod.

DISCLAIMER: THIS SECTION IS NOT REAL. DUMMY.

Going to a tropical destination is expensive. Going skiing is expensive. Going anywhere, really, is expensive. Try these suggestions for alternative ways to have fun this spring break.

THE FOLLOWING SECTION IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

A guide to bars and nightclubs on or near Penn’s campus

MAKE YOUR OWN BEACH: This is easy. While all of your roommates are away on spring break, all you have to do is procure a large amount of sand. AND it's free! It can be made by grinding rocks until they’re so thin they’re sand. You can find these rocks in various locations around Locust Walk. If you’re not the arts–and–crafts type you can go to an elementary school or a park, anywhere there is a children’s sandbox, and pilfer some of the sand from it. Then you just dump the sand in your room (beware of cats). Use a regular umbrella for a beach umbrella and lie on a towel. Google “ocean sounds” and play them. It’ll be so nice. Extra nice if you have a “happy lamp” that can mimic the sun.

3408 Sansom Street • 215-386-4600 Nestled on historical Sansom Street in University City, Philadelphia since 1986. We offer a vast array of draft beers. Our European draft beer system imported from County Cork, Ireland, gives us reason to boast that we pour the Best Pint in the City! Kitchen open till 1am daily w/half price menu Sun-Thurs.

INCEPTION Using the tools in the movie “Inception,” you can create a dream spring break where you can live.

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Alternative Alternative Spring Breaks

First Phila. Quizo location ever • Quizo every Mon & Wed at 10pm.

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452-472 N. 9th Street • 215-908-2063 starlight-ballroom.com FREE PIZZA NIGHTS every Wednesday night from 9pm-2am. Industrial/house music night.

Venue available to book parties!

Copabanana is THE place to go for margaritas! Half price margaritas Mondays from noon to midnight. Happy Hour Mondays to Fridays from 5-7pm. Open late seven days a week! Philly’s award winning DJ Karaoke Joe is now at the Copabanana from 9:30 on Thursdays!

Stop in for Sunday brunch!

DAHLAK We just had to include this one for the liberals and the patriots.

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4708 Baltimore Avenue • 215-726-6464 dahlakrestaurant.com Eritrean&Ethiopian restaurant and bar. A staple in the growing community of Baltimore Avenue and THEE venue of the avenue spreading free love and hot fun night after night. And everyone is welcome. We keep an atmosphere that’s diverse, but just right.

We now serve our divine Ethiopian-cultured food all night from 4pm-2am. We’ve even added a new late night menu of specialties affordable for anyone with 3 or 4 bucks on them. And our drinks are always cheap, like our $3 Hot Totties & $4 citywide combos.

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

40th & Spruce • 215-382-1330 • copabanana.com/uni.php

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Perfect Symmetry

By Taylor Cook Sometimes when he looked at her, he wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

Generally, most often, she was Elyse, double major, guitar player, graduate school application obsessive–compulsive. She was a cigarette enthusiast and a member of the local wine– tasting club. She knitted and sewed and stitched, her hands constantly in motion, whether she was on the train or conjugating Russian verbs aloud or talking avidly about TV shows with her friends.

Most of the time, she was Elyse, a fusion of teenage girl and adult woman, not quite one or the other.

Ben liked that about her, because it meant she wasn’t predictable, that she wasn’t completely without immaturity or lodged firmly in the

stereotype of the responsible adult.

Occasionally, though, Ben looked at her and saw something he did not expect.

Instead of her typically self– conscious college clothes, he saw her wearing gowns of organza, yards and yards of fabric flowing around her and trailing in long bustling trains on the grass of the quad. He saw her with circlets on her head, gleaming gold in the autumn’s setting sun, and a regal bearing squaring her usually slumped shoulders. He thought he saw her walking toward him as though she were crossing the length of a palace’s grand hall, or with the haughty, cold look in her eyes of a practiced courtier.

He would see that for a second, the briefest flash of the light catching her gold watch

across her face, and then she would be back to the Elyse he knew, a 21–year–old in jeans and a plaid wool coat.

He and Alex, his roommate, went to the library between classes one day. Ben needed a biography of Queen Victoria for his English history course and Alex wanted to pick up that week’s New Yorker. They walked slowly from the room, cold autumn sunlight following them across campus.

They came inside, swiping their identification cards through the security checkpoint and calling out quick greetings to Jess, the student librarian they were both friends with. “Ben,” she said earnestly, leaning over the counter with a film history book in her hand.

“I got the book for you! It took some wheedling, but I man-

aged to convince the other library to loan it out to us on special request. It’s only for two weeks, though, so…”

Ben took it from her, flipping smoothly through the glossy pages, smoky soft–focus photos of Casablanca and sixties–bright Ursula Andress rising out of the cobalt blue Pacific in "Dr. No." “You’re taking a directing class, right?” Jess asked, smiling at him, resting her chin on her hands. She had glasses and freckles, but Ben could never really remember the details of her face, the color of her eyes, the shape of her glasses, when he walked away.

“Yeah.” Distractedly, he paged through the book. When he least expected it, he found Elyse watching him coyly between screen shots from "Rosemary’s Baby." She had Mia Far-

Read our m experime ost n submissio tal n, "I Feel F ree," at 34st.com

row’s blond boy haircut and her eyes were forested in black mascara. Listening closely, he thought he heard her say, “It’s Vidal Sassoon.”

“Ben?” He looked up, and saw Jess peering at him with anxious excitement. Her hand had stolen across the counter when he hadn’t noticed and now rested on his. He shook her off quickly, pretending to have an itch, and tucked the book under his arm.

“Alex,” Ben snapped, jerking his chin toward the door.

“You ready?”

Read the rest of the story at 34st.com

34TH STREET Magazine February 21, 2013

Earth: A Retrospective (As Compiled by a 7th Millennium Literary Academic)

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By Selena Oleck Because the sunlight is stronger than ever as it passes through the thinning atmosphere, we are moving to the city. The plastic dome provides the protection Nature cannot.

There is no room for pets.

I am letting Marek and Beldine free in a dried–up riverbed.

– Thirteen-year-old Briana Monte, 5248 A.D.

Ithaca, New York — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is formally listing the Mialto leopard, a small, forest–dwelling, omnivorous leopard, as endangered. This action permanently protects the leopard under the Endangered Species Act of 4380.

– U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service press release, 4465 A.D.

Researchers Find the Cure for Zombies: Reign of Flesh – A novel by Lena Landi, 2083 A.D. Mars, Day 5 When the spaceship Emeritus took us from Earth, I imagined I would see the blue and green beauty pictured in the history holos from ancient satellites. I thought modern images of Earth were forbidden because they had more important things to do with satellites than let the populace see our beautiful planet. I suppose it is important to keep the populace in the dark, so to speak, but it was rather a shock to me.

The seas, a vibrant blue in the holos, are now a muddy gray.

The continents once covered in lush greenery are a light dusty brown from the equator to the tropics; from there, they gradually fade into green spotted with the white and gray domes

of our cities. Although I knew from Academy that the icecaps melted long ago, it was still an oddity to see Antarctica, brown and barren, and the gray sludge that caps the North Pole.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and I’ve had time only to unpack and become barely acquainted with the city. New Canada is quite as I imagined it, only now I am here. My home is on the 608th floor, spacious in comparison to the hovel I was residing in on Earth. My neighbors have an accent, how marvelous! The last time I met someone who spoke a variant of New English was as a child, before we moved to the city. I have a wife arranged for me.

The holos of her are quite stunning, though she does have the elongated face of those born on Mars. I am to meet her tomorrow.

– From the private journal of Lanyon Corma, 5268 A.D.

The soft tiles glisten white under my feet, reflecting the bronze and silver of the bars.

The last monkey on Earth lives in that cage, and his name is Billy. He doesn’t screech; he doesn’t shriek.

He moans, a long eerie sound echoing against the flatness of his artificial home.

– Excerpt from “A Visit to the Zoo” by Leonard Metrophilius, 3428 A.D. Step 8: Pull zipper entirely closed.

Step 9: Pull on helmet.

Step 10: Attach oxygen tank hoses to helmet.

Step 11: Press button to seal helmet.

– From “18 Steps to Safety in a Lava Flood,” published 2987 A.D. Flatmuffs: These full body protective suits have a retro design of Twenty–Eighth

Century fiber–optic petals.

Although the fiber–optic petals serve no purpose, they relieve the boredom of a six–month night in an Antarctican city.

– From a transcript of HoloBay listings, 3140 A.D. Antigrav ['an-ti-grav] 1. adj. Of or having to do with antigravity.

2. adj. Consisting of or produced with antigravity fibers.

3. noun physics The principle of the control resistance to gravity having been imparted to objects.

– Cambridge Dictionary of the Modern Era English Language, 3814 edition.

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