January 17, 2013

January 17, 2013 34st.com

january 17

12

2013

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street, overheards, winter break horror stories

4 EGO

weirdest thing i ate

ego of the week, quiz: to drop or not to drop?

6 MUSIC

beats overseas, interview with kechPhrase, album review, one track mind

8 FILM

now showing, trends to look for in 2013, what we want to leave behind in 2012

10 FEATURE

basketball captain miles cartwright

12 FOOD

5 basic recipes you should know, weirdest thing i ate abroad

16 ARTS

art supplies stores, diy tshirt scarf

18 LOWBROW holiday survival guide

now showing

17

SCHOOL

FROMtheEDITOR

I’ve learned a lot of weird shit in school. To be honest, I’m a little bit skeptical of the system (do I typecast myself?).

When I was in third grade, my gym teacher told me I was not allowed to steal the ball in basketball. When I was in high school, English and History were not called Henglish but Humanities —we had one class for both, so dates got kind of lost in learning the erudite. Don’t ever quiz me on history. Two years into my Penn career, I peaced out of Philly and set up shop in Havana.

When I finally got back, I got to go with the DP to meet Amy Gutmann, face–to–face, and not at Capogiro.

8

It was my moment. I had one thing to ask her: I’m an English major, what does that mean at Penn? “Liberal Arts with a Twist,” she said. I’m not really sure what that means. What I do know, though, is I get my favorite lessons from Street. Just read our feature. It's on Miles Cartwright, the captain of our basketball team. I bet they let him steal the ball. Or check our guide to adding or dropping your classes.

Whatever it is, Street's here for you. And if you can't find what you need in the print edition, head online and ask Miss Casandra.

10 miles cartwright

art supplies

New year, same Street, different masthead. Come say hi.

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

20 BACKPAGE

2

new years resolution guide to philadelphia

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Nina Wolpow, Editor–In–Chief Sam Brodey, Managing Editor Alex Hosenball, Online Managing Editor Chloe Bower, Design Editor Sarah Tse, Photo Editor Olivia Fingerhood, Asst. Design Margot Halpern, Asst. Design Zacchiaus McKee, Highbrow Julia Liebergall, Highbrow Sophia Fischler-Gottfried, Ego Ben Lerner, Ego Isabel Oliveres, Food & Drink

Abigail Koffler, Food & Drink Ariela Osuna, Music Michelle Ma, Music Alexandra Jaffe, Film Faryn Pearl, Film Patrick Ford-Matz, Features Kiley Bense, Features Megan Ruben, Arts Gina DeCagne, Arts Lizzie Sivitz, Lowbrow Zach Tomasovic, Lowbrow Frida Garza, Back Page Zeke Sexauer, Back Page Lauren Greenberg, Social Media

Allie Bienenstock, Print Copy Madeleine Wattenbarger, Print Copy Marley Coyne, Online Copy Michael Shostek, Online Copy

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Nina Wolpow, Editor–in–Chief, at wolpow@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898– 6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581.

Cover Design: Chloe Bower

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com

Contributors: Mariam Mahbob, Olivia Rutigliano, Michael Kraus, Julie Kozeracki, Kaitlyn Levesque, Hayley Brooks, Max Hansen, Kim Gordon, Joe Cookson, Josh Dembowitz, Michael Kraus, Kaitlyn Levesque

"First name Hosen, last name Ball." ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a–okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

HOLIDAY BUSTED BY MYTHBUSTER My sister loves the Discovery Channel show "Mythbusters" almost as much as she loves Christmas itself. This year, I found the perfect gift for her—I discovered that my sister’s favorite cast member, Tory (incidentally, one of my celebrity crushes), designs merchandise for the show, so I went on his website and placed an order. Weeks went by. I had received a simple receipt of purchase, but nothing else—not even shipping info. I was anxious. It was now a week before Christmas and several days before I would leave Penn. Using the email address from the contact information on the receipt, I pounded out a complaint, and sent it. My message was damn cranky, so imagine my surprise when I found in my inbox, just a few hours later, a note claiming that my package had just been shipped. I was shocked by the expediency–but then I realized something. The emails the website sent me (receipt, order confirmation, etc), were from a different address than the one to which I sent my complaint. That’s because I had unknowingly sent my complaint to Tory’s personal email address. Even though the package still didn’t arrive before Christmas, my sister claimed that my word-yelling at one of my celebrity crushes (think: “RONALD WEASLEY, HOW DARE YOU STEAL

wordonthestreet

STORIES THE CAR?”) just so she could get her present was the greatest, most thoughtful gift she could receive.

I’m pretty sure Tory completely disagrees.

POOP DECK Cruises are supposed to be the luxury liners of the sea.

And for the first six days of my winter vacation aboard Princess Cruises, it was just that: a tropical haven cruising through the Caribbean Sea. I spent most mornings on the top deck, my body bronzing from the hot sun, my Ray–Bans perched oh–so–casually on the tip of my nose. I thought myself to be the utter picture of a sun goddess. That is, until I got a horrible stomachache right in the middle of the midnight chocolate buffet.

Could it be I'd eaten some bad clams at the ship's five star restaurant? Perhaps too much sun in Saint Maarten?

Slowly, the aches turned to agonizing cramps, and soon I found myself permanently glued to the toilet seat of my stateroom. While friends and family lounged outside, the sun goddess continued to empty her stomach out from both ends until the cruise finally docked in Fort Lauderdale. I found out later that I had contracted the Norovirus, along with over 200 other passengers.

The good news: I quickly lost all the weight I gained from the all–you–can eat buffet. The bad news: I did it shitting my brains out.

THEROUNDUP

over heard PENN at

Dude: Brb I’m gonna take a shit.

Sorority girl: I literally had to suck dick to survive.

Girl: You’re pregnant.

Why are you drinking right now?

Bro 1: Let’s just get this over with.

Bro 2: That’s how I feel about life.

Girl outside ZTA: Second day and I still hate it.

New year, new me, new Highbrow. Highbrow knows that all of you lovely Penn kids take the start of a new year and semester in stride and use the opportunity to change something about yourself. And we wanted to know just what resolutions you guys had in store for the new year. So we asked and here are your responses: Start a Twitter account / Learn to take a compliment / Forgive Kristen Stewart / Stop chewing gum in public / Not to be nocturnal / Stop giving a shit about what other people perceive of my personality and learn to be ok with it / Travel more / Grow into my hands / To live like the people in Rent but without all the dying / Significantly up my Netflix viewing / Get more Hosencalls / Go on an Amy Gutmann panty raid / Pay better attention to the other side of a conversation / Act more British / Be on time / Do something worth a goddamn / Stop making my mother cry / Finally get over him / Finally tell him I love him / Stop going to Pottruck just for the smoothies / Give that kid back his sweatshirt / Finish the package of corn dogs in the back of my freezer / Successfully eat a cheeseburger in Hillel / Confess to my Big that I can’t stand her / Actually apply myself in class / Sleep at normal people times / Drop my preprofessional major for something I really want / Get tested / Understand that my own problems are not the worst thing in the world and other people don’t always want to hear about them when they have their own / Sex in the Pod bathrooms / Stop worrying about things I can’t change / Consolidate all of my e-mail addresses / Start listening to more 90’s R&B / Stop being superstitious / Try to do one new thing every day / Try to talk to one new person every day / Learn to take constructive criticism / Think before I complain / Tell everyone just how much they mean to me / Stop criticising myself in the mirror before I leave home / Join clubs even if I’m intimidated by the fact I don’t know anyone at the meetings / Call my dad after all these years / Dip dye my hair / Try to cut down my technology use / Stop being a huge bitch to my parents and everyone else / Learn how to crochet / Stop letting other people speak for me / Watch Star Wars Episodes 1-6 in one sitting / Get my driver’s license / Try to be more openminded about other people’s viewpoints / Shake my tail feathers like nobody is watching / Wake up earlier / Stop biting my nails / Curse less / Thank God for at least one thing I have every day / Stand up straighter / Grow out my hair / Run a 5K / Read more for fun / Get in shape / Smile more

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

Welcome, welcome, lovies, to the 74th Annual Hunger Games! We kid, we kid, although sometimes a fight to the death might be preferable to being featured in the Round-Up. For our returning readers, we love you all so dearly; and for our new ones, expect a semester of scandalous gossip and lascivious stories.

Just when you thought it was too embarrassing to recur, the Soiree Urinator struck again at the annual Theos rush event. This time, the unabashed senior chose the cozy space between two parked cars as her Porcelain Throne instead of the plush armchair of yesteryear. We guess it beats waiting in line for the bathroom.

One psychology class might have gotten a little more interesting after a professor offered up a fun, new way to respond to questions in class. Allowing students to text in answers might seem wise in theory, but it soon became apparent that the real purpose was to expose the folks with Oedipal complexes. Apparently, the students felt the need to text in "dirty" responses to the questions, which then showed up on screen. My name is Sigmund, Mr. Freud if you're nasty.

Sig Chi and TEP had rush date parties at Cuba Libre this week, but unfortunately none of their frosh were able to get in to the establishment.

Some rush party. Maybe Cuba Libre isn't as libre as we once thought.

We'll try to go easy on you this semester, girls, but there was no way we could start off spring semester without a good Tabard story. After a disappointing pledge season last year, Tabard was again dealt a dismal hand with even more girls turning them down. Despite issues of national security, one high profile member was admitted, although another was let go for what we might call national insecurity. Rest assured, it wasn't for political reasons: we're pretty sure their daddies voted for different people.

Read more horror stories at 34st.com

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

HIGHBROW

3

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK

ANGEL CONTRERA

Street: Tell us about ACTION. Angel Contrera: Class of 2015 president Ariel Koren came to me because I was on the Latino Coalition and wanted to start a Spanish tutoring program. It stands for Active Cross–Cultural Training in Our Neighborhoods, and we started last semester at Lea Elementary School, so it’s pretty new. We’re still looking for people to get involved and to expand to other West Philly schools.

your one-year stint as an RA? AC: I wanted to hang out with freshmen. (Laughs) Okay, I sound like a pedophile. I really loved my freshman experience, so I wanted to be a part of the process.

The kids on my hall liked each other, and they found their group of friends, so in the end that worked. It was a lot harder to be a strict figure —I felt like I ended up being a lot more of a friend than an RA. I let a lot of things slide.

Street: What was your tenure as the Latino Coalition’s Chair like?

AC: I loved every minute of my two–year term and realized that pushing initiatives is what I want do long term. Hopefully I end up in D.C. working on policy issues that concern Latinos nationwide.

Street: What was your low point as an RA? AC: Awkwardly, it was probably the first night of NSO last year, when I went out and lost the keys to the Quad and had to be let in. I proceeded to cry because I thought I would lose my job in the first week.

Struggles!

Street: What was behind

Street: Did that trauma

When he’s not sinking at Smoke’s, this Skulls Whartonite is a Management 100 TA and co-founder and co-president of ACTION. He’s also co-founded Penn for Immigrant Rights and is a former Quad RA and chair of the Latino Coalition. contribute to your moving off campus senior year? Or was the whole thing just a nightmare?

AC: God no! I moved offcampus now because I wanted to live with kids in my pledge class – a.k.a. I wanted to spend a lot of time at Smoke’s and going out. Can’t do both!

Going out was like a part– time job last semester. For my grand finale, it’s a full–time job. Gotta be at Smoke’s at least five nights a week. And yes, I’m aiming for a plaque in Feb Club. Although, in a way, I’ve already left my mark on Smoke’s. Like when it was my friend’s birthday and we brought a cake and started spreading frosting on random people’s faces.

Street: You left RA–ing but you still mold young Wharton minds as a TA for MGMT 100. How have your five semesters been?

AC: I wanted to join be-

cause my whole lineage in Skulls had TAed it and I’d enjoyed my experience as a student. The TA community is like the secret biggest social group ever.

We’re a bunch of party animals. As a sophomore, going out Thursday nights was a terrible idea with my 10 a.m. Friday recitations. They were challenging to get through… I think my students noticed.

Ugh, I feel like so many of my stories are because I’m a drunk bitch.

Street:

What’s

your

guilty pleasure?

AC: Telenovelas are the most ratchet in the world.

So much more dramatic than any—I don’t want to say white—than any soap opera. Someone’s always having someone’s baby from someone’s brother who just disappeared and got shot. There’s a poor girl who marries a rich man from Mexico. The plot twists are always the same. Highly recommended.

Street: What advice would you give to your freshman self?

AC: Get a fake ID.

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34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

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Some magazine quizzes teach you which member of One Direction is your true love. Follow this one to decide if that class is worth it, before the end of add/drop period. Things can get a little complicated.

BY BEN LERNER IS ITS DIFFICULTY RATING BELOW 2.0 ON PENN COURSE REVIEW?

YES

NO

IS THERE A FINAL? Like a real one during finals week.

NO

YES

DID YOUR PROFESSOR ASSIGN HIS/HER OWN WRITING?

YES

IS SAID FINAL BEFORE 11AM?

NO

FEEL IT OUT. (B)

YES

your prof. may be cool ARE 80+ PAGES OF READING REGULARLY ASSIGNED BI-WEEKLY FROM SAID BOOK? OR ANY EQUIVALENT BORING TEXT?

LOSE IT. (SEE A) exception: hot TA IS THE CLASS BEFORE 11AM?

YES

NO

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

EGO PRESENTS: TO KEEP OR TO DROP?

YES

NO

NO GET THE FUCK OUT. (A)

IS THERE A GROUP PROJECT?

YES

YES

NO

RUN. RUN FAST. (A)

IT MIGHT BE WORTH IT... (B)

KEEP THIS CLASS (C)

This is beyond the cons outweighing the pros. What were you thinking preregistering for this hellish course? It was your eighth choice, wasn’t it? There must be less misery-inducing ways to fulfill that requirement.

Hey, enjoying a class is not a totally foreign concept. It may not be a walk in the Penn park (does anyone walk in Penn Park?), but if you’re passionate, give it a go. There’s always Pass/Fail and withdrawing!

The prof might be a bully or an octogenarian and the curriculum might be the worst combo of boring and pretentious, but you’ll be grateful it’s giving you a credit come finals.

Rush is over.

GDIs: your future at 34st.com/ego

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

DO YOU HAVE BEEF WITH THAT BITCH IN THE FRONT ROW (OR SITTING NEXT TO THE PROF IF IT'S A 3 HOUR SEMINAR)?

NO

5

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

MUSIC

INTERVIEW: KECHPHRASE Street sits down with Penn student and part-time rapper and producer Ikechi Nnamani to talk about his hip-hop alter–ego kechPhrase.

To fans of underground hip hop, College Junior Ikechi Nnamani is better known as kechPhrase. A self-made rapper and producer on a first-name basis with Victor Vasquez, a.k.a. Kool A.D. of Das Racist, kechPhrase has been at it since he was thirteen. He’s dropped seven albums since. He took a homework break to talk to us.

STREET: Tell us how you got started. kechPhrase: When I was at Rice, which was my school prior to Penn, I lived in Houston. There’s a guy, he lives in Houston—I think he lives in California now—he goes

by Fat Tony. He’s on A$AP Rocky’s last album. There’s a track called “Get Lit” that he’s rapping on. Me and him met when they were playing some of my stuff on the Rice radio station. He went to SXSW [South by Southwest Festival] and was like, “Yo, you should come with me. I’m performing at these venues.” He was talking

about all these rappers, a lot of big names. And at the time, that was when Das Racist was kind of coming out. They came out in 2008, but they weren’t really famous until like 2010 and back then was when they were still dropping mixtapes. And they were also performing at that venue.

So we just went to Austin and backstage we were playing my music and Kool A.D. is listening, vibing, and then Tony was like, “Yeah it was this guy, his stuff. He goes to Rice. He’s a freshman.” And he [Kool A.D.] was listening and then Heems [also of Das Racist] came in and Heems was like, “Oh yeah, I really like this stuff.” So he said, “Alright. Here’s our manager’s contact info and we’ll see what we can make happen, whether it's helping produce a track or we can make something.”

Now fast forward to my sophomore year, April–ish, things actually went through. Kool A.D. recorded over like three of my beats. We did a song together

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

BEATS OVERSEAS

6

HAYLEY BROOKS London, England S Club 7—“Bring it All Back” We all know that throwback parties, oozing nostalgic glory, are fan favorites. So naturally—and totally unsurprisingly for those who know me—one of my happiest nights in London featured not only the blonde British boy that would come to define my semester, but also lots and lots of S Club 7.

called “Anything” which is on my upcoming album, and he has a song on his last album called “Arrested Development.”

And there’s a track we did in November, just me and him.

I just made the beat and he rapped on it. It’s called “Brobama.”

STREET: And that one’s gotten pretty big. kP: Yeah, Pitchfork, Vice, all these other blogs just picked it up, which is cool. It’s just one of those really chill, alternative rap songs. It’s not really pressing political issues at all. It’s just fun. He does a little bit of a Barack Obama impression in there.

STREET: Any future projects you want to talk about? kP: Coming up at Wesleyan University, I’m doing a show with Flatbush Zombies. They have a song with A$AP Rocky called “Bath Salt.” And they have a pretty large following so I’m excited about that. There’s

a show down in Houston at Rice with some big headliners. I’m doing that March 9.

They’re trying to figure out their headliner. Last year they had Slim Thug, before that Michael Cera’s band, the year before that Japandroids. Because of my track schedule, my music stuff kind of has to work with track. It usually does. It’s just that’s another thing I’m really dedicated to on the side.

STREET: How do you balance it all? What’s your major? kP: I’m Political Science, minor in Sociology. I mean, mu-

sic can definitely work out if I link up with the right people.

But I think for me nothing says you can’t do things on the side.

Working this summer taught me that. I interned at Google, and I’d get home at six p.m. from Mountain View. For me what I learned what worked was I’d be back at six—some people like to play video games, some people like bars—but I can come back and just do music, finish a song, finish a beat.

Read the rest of this Interview online at 34st.com

The jet-setting juniors are back from abroad. Street checks in with them to discuss their favorite international tracks.

MAX HANSEN Havana, Cuba Los Principales – “Quimba Pa’ Que Suene” A huge song while I was in Cuba was “Quimba Pa’ Que Suene,” which basically means “fuck loud”— vulgarity that earned it a total ban from all government-owned establishments (it’s Cuba; everything is government-owned). It’s a ridiculous, autotune–abusing reggaeton song and I heard it countless times while cruising through Havana in taxis from the 1950s.

KIM GORDON Buenos Aires, Argentina Agapornis—“Si Te Vas” This was the song that I learned to associate with cumbia in Buenos Aires.

The boliches seemed to go through the same series of American music, Spanish music, and then exclusively cumbia. It is also the one everyone seemed to complain about and then sing at the top of their lungs. Típico. ¡Holis, porteños truchos de IFSA!

JOE COOKSON Bejing, China Eason Chan feat. Faye Wong— “Yinwei Aiqing (Because of Love)” Being in a language pledge environment in China, I took every opportunity to throw on my headphones and listen to some good old American music. But “Yinwei Aiqing” did the trick when I couldn’t listen to English music or the Ricky Martin CD my roommate gave me. Love songs are a big courting tactic in China, so I had to be ready to go.

Featuring everyone from Skrillex to Santigold, A$AP Rocky’s major-label debut is an indulgent sampling experimentation. The 12-track mixtape begins with the eponymous track, “Long Live A$AP,” which serves as the perfect introduction to the whirlwind of hip-hop that follows.

Only the French-braided, gold-toothed rapper could combine distinctive hip-hop beats and exhaustive rapping with screaming dubstep lasers as flawlessly as he does in “Wild for the Night.”

Debatably the best track in “LongLiveA$AP,” “Fuckin Problems” features A$AP’s admirable peers 2 Chainz,

Grade: B+ Sounds best when: Longing to feel like a boss 99-cent download: “Fuckin Problems"

Drake and Kendrick Lamar.

Through a varied tracklist, A$AP Rocky’s debut proves that he’s here to stay, or as he would say, LongLiveA$AP.

GREEK MUSIQUE CRITIQUE

In light of rush, Street takes a look at the musical choices of your favorite frat scenes. | BY ARIELA OSUNA CASTLE: “Don’t You Worry Child”— Swedish House Mafia Wishing to assure you that they are, in fact, all internationals, Castle boys groove to music from overseas. Electronic music by French and Swedish DJs are most popular au chatêau. Practice your fist pump and swing right over.

OWLS: “Sweet Caroline”—Neil Diamond Owls has a serious nostalgia complex. Here you will find the opportunity to finally party to the oldies your parents

always listen to. We’re just wondering what the obsession with a girl named Caroline is, Owls. Care to explain?

TEP: “fitzpleasure”—Alt+J Whether you plan to veg or space out, no matter: TEP’s indie sounds provide the perfect soundtrack for your lay-back, in whatever state of mind. Head on over to TEP for a perfect compilation of trippy music.

SAE: “Gangnam Style”—Psy (any remix)

If it gets people dancing, it’ll be playing at SAE. Be ready to immerse yourself in the marvelous creation of mainstream radio music. Once the tracks get somewhat outdated, the remix is permissible.

BETA: “Clique”—Kanye West, JayZ & Big Sean What’s frattier than the latest hip-hop track to party with your bros? The boys at Beta pride themselves in being the emblem of frat culture in ‘Murica. Playlist on par — think state school.

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

A$AP ROCKY: LONGLIVEA$AP

— Ariela Osuna

ONE TRACK MIND:

DAVID BOWIE—“WHERE ARE WE NOW?”

$treet Writer'$ meeting – 6:30 tonight be there A$AP @34st

A New NewYear.

Year.

A betteR betteRScoRe. ScoRe. Special NewYear’s Year’s Savings Special New Savings

Bowie is back, bros. With a style and finesse that seem to transcend time and age, David Bowie just released the first single from his first album in ten years, "The Next Day." Bowie builds a beautiful crescendo throughout the track as he opens on a relatively mellow, lounge–like note before transitioning to a militant beat towards the close. Lyrically, Bowie evokes some of his best work, deftly weaving English and German together, though he falls prey to the latter’s garbled nature. Despite lyrical depth, keep a look out for all the possible Bowie translations, especially when it comes to Crossburs and Books, eh?

— Alex Hosenball

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

ZERO DARK THIRTY

Grade: ARating and length: R, 157 min.

See if you liked: “Argo"

“Zero Dark Thirty,” Kathryn Bigelow’s quasi–revenge thriller about the decade–long hunt for Osama bin Laden, transcends mere historical reenactment and instead becomes a grimly effective meditation on obsession. It delves head-first into the emotional tolls the War on Terror has taken—both on those who have fought it and on our national conscience—through the lens of steely Maya (the remarkably restrained Jessica Chastain), an intensely dedicated CIA analyst.

The film takes a slow and methodical approach to plot, mirroring the real investigation’s seemingly endless false starts and dead ends. Unfortunately, Maya’s simmering frustrations may mirror the audience’s own.

Nevertheless, the pacing is pur-

poseful, and it all culminates in an immensely satisfying payoff: a tensely staged recreation of the SEAL assault on bin Laden’s compound—masterpiece of filmmaking in its own right.

DJANGO UNCHAINED

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013 8

in every sense, but ultimately is a journey that bleeds for human nature, cries for the human experience and sings for the human spirit.

THE HOBBIT

LES MISéRABLES

Grade: A Rating and length: R, 165 min.

See if you liked: Anything Tarantino

While Quentin Tarantino’s latest film, “Django Unchained”, is unsurprisingly drenched in characteristic violence, it’s also brimming with charismatic, memorable characters and a strong plot, ensuring that there is always compelling narrative driving the breathless action, which is never mindless Lunch Buffet or forced. $8.95 After teaming up with dentist– turned–bounty–hunter King Dinner Buffet Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp. Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Schultz (Christoph Waltz), forExp. Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp. mer slave Django (Jamie Foxx) $11.95 For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 embarks on a search for his wife For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 (Kerry Washington), who is enslaved by spoiled sociopath with this ad Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio).

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are meaningful without being self–important.

But “Django” is more than the sum of its technical strengths; long but never slow, it is by turns emotionally wrenching, devastatingly funny, and always phenomenally entertaining.

Welcome Welcome Welcome CLASS CLASS OF OF CLASS OF

2016 2016

Grade: B+ Rating and length: PG13, 157 min.

See if you liked: "Moulin Rouge"

Although “Les Misérables” feels longer than the French Revolution, it doesn’t plod along. The film adapts the Boubil–Schonberg musical, which is adapted from Victor Hugo’s novel about the redemption of Jean Valjean, an ex–convict living during the French Revolution. The cinematography, costumes, and sets (cold and dank in depressive splendor, but somehow still nationalistic) are particularly exquisite, and performances are generally engaging.

Hugh Jackman, playing Jean Valjean, pours heart and soul into his numbers and would steal the show were it not for Anne Hathaway’s breathtaking rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream.” The film is sanguine

Grade: BRating and length: PG13, 169 min.

See if you liked: “Lord of the Rings"trilogy

“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” is the longawaited prequel to Peter Jackson’s fantasy franchise, “The Lord of the Rings”. The film follows Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), as he accompanies 13 dwarves (and the wizard Gandalf, played again

by Sir Ian McKellen) on a journey to help them regain their home .

At its core, “The Hobbit” is a good movie. Freeman does a wonderful job of bringing the young Bilbo to life, the rest of the cast, both old favorites and new additions, perform solidly, and the cinematography is as striking as ever. But with a three hour runtime, scenes take longer to watch than to read, and it becomes clear that this is merely a preamble to the more exciting story ahead.

We consulted our psychics, the stars and IMDB to enlighten us with hottest Hollywood fads to watch out for this year.

BY ALEXANDRA JAFFE

1. 3D MASTERPIECES: With

3. MENTAL ILLNESS: Psy-

the technology available today it was only a matter of time before Hollywood produced some stunning 3D tours de force.

See: "Upside Down" and "The Great Gatsby"

chological behavior has been a hot topic in the news and Hollywood is following suit, presenting films with all-star casts that tackle this complicated subject.

See: "Stoker" and "Side Effects"

2. TWEEN PARANORMAL ROMANCE: Now that "Twilight"

4. EXTREME FAIRYTALES:

is kaput (R.I.P.), a whole slew of newcomers are jumping in to capture our hearts with the next epic otherworldly love affair. Zombies and aliens and magicians, oh my!

See: "The Host," "Warm Bodies" and "Beautiful Creatures and The Mortal Instruments: City of Bone"

Leave children at home for these creative reimaginings of classic folklore. Epic rescue missions and bounty hunting await with very grown–up casts in these children’s stories.

See: "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" and "Jack the Giant Slayer"

5.POST–APOCALYPTIC WORLDS: The apocalypse was so 2012. We may have survived the rapture/end of the Mayan calendar/what have you, but Hollywood wants to tell you what would have happened if the world had ended.

Spoiler: the aftermath isn't pretty.

See: "After Earth" and "Elysium"

6. SEQUELS: The roster of upcoming films proves that when Hollywood comes up with a moneymaking formula, they milk it for all it's worth. Sometimes we're pleasantly surprised by one that doesn't suck. You be the judge.

See: "Scary Movie 5," "Hangover Part III," "The Fast and the Furious 6"

WHAT WE WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND IN 2012: 1. Nicholas Sparks: Yawn. "Safe Haven" looks like every other tear-jerking love story by Sparks that we’ve seen already.

2. Tom Cruise: Yep, he’s back, playing the same character as always. In the upcoming "Oblivion", like "Jack Reacher," he is also named Jack, in a different but identical film.

3. Movies based on board games: Hollywood should have learned its lesson from the flop that was "Battleship," yet movies based on Ouija boards and Candy Land are coming out soon. Pass.

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

THE TRENDS WE'RE PSYCHED TO SEE IN 2013:

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013 9

At first glance, Miles Cartwright appears more Usain Bolt than Michael Jordan.

He is a skinny 6’3, with a 175–pound frame (one Princeton fan repeatedly referred to him as “chicken–legs”), a wispy chin goatee and a few pimply vestiges of puberty left on his forehead. Too small to play shooting guard at a Pac–12 school closer to his Van Nuys, CA, hometown, Cartwright enrolled at Penn, where he anticipated substantial playing time and four Ivy League championships.

Those expectations were lofty, but they weren’t unreasonable; after all, Penn is one of the winningest programs in NCAA basketball history. The Quakers won seven of nine Ivy

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

League titles between 1999 and 2007. But two seasons into his college career, Cartwright remains ring-less. As Penn’s top returning scorer, passer and three-point shooter—as well as the new team captain—it is Cartwright’s responsibility to end Penn’s longest championship drought since the 1980s.

While one former teammate describes the communications major as “supremely gifted,”

Cartwright doesn’t stand out immediately: other Quakers look sturdier, more muscular.

But it’s difficult to watch anyone else once practice begins.

Maybe it’s his energy: he’s first in line for every drill, he’s constantly clapping and chirping words of encouragement and he consistently outruns his teammates during sprints.

Or perhaps it’s his swagger: the white drawstring dangling

from his rolled–up navy blue shorts, his right wrist flicked downward and held in place much longer than necessary after every high–arcing jump shot.

The coaches don’t worry about Cartwright’s low defensive stance or his parabolic jump shot. They do worry, though, about their new captain’s body language; he is just as capable of diminishing a teammate’s confidence with a scowl as he is of propping him up with an arm around the shoulder. During one pre–season practice, Assistant Coach Scott Pera observes Cartwright’s sagging shoulders as a pass slips through his teammate’s hands.

“Body language, Miles! The only way you can help is to say, ‘Don’t worry, we’ll get it next time.’ Not to fucking hang your head and pout.”

Coach Pera is always on the lookout for these tics, for the darker side of Cartwright’s emotional, demonstrative nature. “Your best player has to be your leader,” Pera says.

With no seniors on the squad, Cartwright must become that leader.

Two seasons of playing time haven’t eased Cartwright’s transition. “Even though I’ve got the most game experience, it’s all new to me,” he explains.

Ideally, Miles would have apprenticed last year under the senior captains and been more prepared to switch roles. But the four seniors weren’t looking to the future; they just

wanted to win their first conference title. “Last year, the seniors were dominating the scene,” says Zack Rosen—a three–year captain, three–time All–Ivy selection, 2012 Ivy League Player of the Year and one of Penn’s all–time leaders in scoring, assists, steals and games played—in a recent phone interview. “It’s tough to grow up when Daddy is doing everything.”

Daddy’s gone. And while Cartwright insists that he’s “not Zack, on or off the court,” the youngsters who turned to Rosen for guidance last season now look to Cartwright. “That young man is the cornerstone of the transformation,” Rosen explains. “And if he’s not, then they’re not gonna be successful.”

Penn practices at the Palestra. Dubbed “The Cathedral of Basketball,” the Palestra predates the NBA by 19 years and has hosted more games than any other college arena.

There are 25 navy blue and red “Ivy League Champions” banners hanging from the rafters. At 4:30 on a Thursday afternoon, it’s dimly lit as the players emerge from the locker room. High above the court, a set of fluorescent bulbs emits a dull white light. Only the floor is illuminated; the empty stands lurk in the shadows, as if the players are trespassing on private property.

When Miles hits the floor,

the arena no longer seems haunted; it feels like cheerleading practice. When Cartwright goes through a conditioning drill, he claps. When he watches teammates go through conditioning drills, he claps.

At the end of one particularly grueling practice, Head Coach Jerome Allen sends freshman forward Darien Nelson–Henry to the free-throw line. If he sinks both shots, practice ends.

If not, the entire squad will run, and another player will be called upon to shoot. As he steps to the line, Miles shouts out: “Go D! You’ve got it!”

“D” could use some encouragement after a day filled with missed layups and whistles blown to instruct him on improving his post positioning. Coach Allen believes more in tough love than in boosting his players’ confidence. When 6’8 Fran Dougherty is blocked by 5’11 guard Patrick Lucas– Perry in a scrimmage, Allen pauses practice to berate him. “Fran, you drive like a fucking pussy, that’s what’s gonna happen, someone fivenine is gonna block yo’ shot.”

Cartwright’s encouragement is a welcome counterpoint to Allen’s vitriol. “Miles helps you out without belittling or cussing you,” says freshman guard and high school teammate Julian Harrell.

When practice ends, the 15 players head to the locker room. Rap music thumps as they take off their practice uniforms and wait for

an open shower. Fresh out of the shower, sophomore guard Camryn Crocker pauses in the middle of the room and does his best Miles Carwright impression. The neck veins pop. The arms are extended, palms facing upward. He claps his hands and shouts: “Let’s go!” The room erupts in laughter.

It’s easy to be a cheerleader when things are going well.

It’s much harder to maintain a positive demeanor in trying times. During one recent scrimmage, Cartwright calls out a play, but Nelson–Henry goes to the wrong spot. The whistle blows. The coaches are disappointed. But they’re more upset with Cartwright, who throws up his hands and points to the spot where Nelson–Henry should have been.

The next day, Miles throws a nifty pass inside to Nelson–Henry. He can’t handle the pass, and it rolls out of bounds. Cartwright raises his left hand and hits his chest with his right hand. “That’s my bad,” he says. They get into a mini–argument, each player trying to accept responsibility for the turnover. “My fault.” “What are you talking about? I dropped the pass!”

“Nah man, that’s my bad.”

Cartwright is internalizing yesterday’s message and putting it into practice: “I can’t be the fiery, yelling leader.

I’ve gotta put my arm around them when they slip up.”

Cartwright knows what it’s like to slip up. During his freshman season, “nobody got yelled at more than me,” he recalls.

He buckled under the constant criticism. “You go through four years being jerked off by coaches, then you pick a school and the honeymoon is over,” he says. “As soon as you get here, they’re up your ass. I’d never had someone yell at me like that, to the point I didn’t want to play basketball anymore. I thought Coach Allen loved me.

I hated him the whole season.”

That off–season, Allen told Cartwright: “Don’t take the yelling as me not believing in you.” In the ensuing days, Miles thought to himself: “Maybe I need to grow up. He’s yelling because he needs me. The coaches need us. They depend on us for their livelihoods.” Now that Cartwright understands Coach Allen better, he reveres him. “I think he’s the best coach in the nation,” Cartwright says.

“To everything there is a season,” Allen tells me. After two years in a supporting role, Miles’ season arrives on November 9.

It’s hard to tell what’s more impressive: Cartwright’s team–high 21 points, or his remarkable calm in that halftime locker room.

“Miles’ biggest strength is being able to say ‘we’re okay’ even when everyone else is panicking,” says co–captain Dau Jok.

On November 17, Penn trails Drexel by 2 with 15 seconds remaining. Cartwright holds the ball at the three–point line. With five seconds remaining, Cartwright accelerates to the basket.

Just below the foul line, he loses control of the ball, and the Quakers lose. Cartwright looks ready to cry as he walks off the court. He buries his face in his jersey, and enters the locker room. “I just felt like I let everyone down,” he tells me. “I lost that shit.”

Two days later, Cartwright has two opportunities to defeat Fordham in the final moments.

He misses both shots. This time, he walks off with his head up.

This time, he doesn’t feel guilty.

Instead, “I really tried to learn from it,” he tells me. The ball is going to come back to me. How can I do it better?” The boy who struggled to manage his emotions just a few weeks ago is becoming “a man his parents can be proud of,” Allen boasts.

By January, it’s getting harder to keep saying “we’re okay.” As the Quakers lose 13 of their next 14 games, Cartwright becomes increasingly impatient. His turnovers are up, and his shooting percentage stands at .366, well off his stellar .454 mark from last season.

“I wanna succeed so badly, sometimes I just press,” he says.

On Saturday night against Princeton, Cartwright presses.

With ten minutes remaining in their Ivy League opener, Penn trails their archrival by 10 points.

Cartwright dashes towards the basket, hoping to cut the lead to single digits for the first time all half. But Miles dribbles the ball

off his foot, and it rolls out of bounds. The Quakers’ best opportunity slips away, and they fall to 0–1 in Ivy play. Everything might not be okay. At least not this season.

As the losses mount, the confident, gregarious kid from preseason sometimes disappears, replaced by a sullen, withdrawn man. “As a captain, you get all the praise and all of the criticism,” explains Harrell. This season, the losses really sting. “Freshman year when we were losing,” Cartwright says, “it was like ‘okay, I’ve got three years left.’ Now, I automatically blame every bad thing on myself.”

The coaching staff expects to win, and they expect Cartwright to execute his responsibilities. But they acknowledge the inevitable growing pains. “There’s nothing natural about becoming a leader,” explains Allen. “It takes time to be good.”

Despite a 2–13 record, Cartwright’s confidence endures. “I know if we keep working at it, things are going to get better,” he says with conviction. “This is the most talented team I’ve been on.

We’re going to win this championship.” While Coach Allen insists Cartwright has done “a tremendous job” as captain, Cartwright isn’t satisfied. “The next step is winning,” he says. “What separates good leaders from great ones are the ones who win.”

Josh Dembowitz is a Senior from Cherry Hill, NJ. He is studying political science.

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

The night before the Penn Men’s Basketball seasonopening game against UMBC, Miles Cartwright is feeling nervous.

More than usual?

“More than ever,” he says.

The next evening, the Quakers trail UMBC by as many as 22 points in the first half. At halftime, they’re down 14.

As the Quakers wait for their coaches to enter the locker room, many are yelling at one another. But their junior captain remains calm, last night’s jitters long gone. “I was trying to stay even–keeled,” Cartwright recalls. “Just kept saying, ‘We’re gonna be okay, we’re gonna win the game.’”

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

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all photos courtesy of the DP

11

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

FOOD&DRINK

5 BASIC FOODS YOU SHOULD MASTER

We’re not all going to be the next Top Chef, but there are a few culinary staples we should all know how to make.

For the culinarily impaired, fret not! Street is here to show you, step by step. Complete recipes at 34st.com

COFFEE: Do yourself a favor and buy a French Press. Small ones cost under $20 and they’ll last forever. All you need is hot water, ground coffee (grab it at Metro, Avril 50 or Trader Joe’s) and 4 minutes.

Mornings will never be the same.

PAN-SEARED SALMON: Don’t let the fancy reputation scare you: salmon is not that pricey, it's easy to cook and more flavorful than chicken (sorry, chicken). It’s also packed with those omega acids that supposedly work wonders on our brain cells.

ROASTED BROCCOLI: You can still call broccoli baby trees, but you will definitely not refuse to eat it when it’s roasted and tender. Putting florets in the oven makes flavors pop and avoids the hospital mush texture.

RICE: Good for much more than throwing into newlyweds’ eyes outside of churches, rice is a jack-of-all-trades side dish. All you need is a water, a pot and a little patience.

!

BROWNIES: Promise you are done with questionably wrapped brownies baked god-knows-when.

A brownie should be a treat.

Make a big batch and freeze the rest for later: dole them out to become the most beloved person in your social circle.

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

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FOOD

OF WHAT

COFFEE

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RICE

Steep it (let the liquid take on the flavor of coffee) 4 minutes

EQUIPMENT

HOW

JUST ADD THIS

French Press, kettle

Add 2 tablespoons of ground coffee for every 6 ounces of boiling water—5 tablespoons of grounds work well for a standard 32–ounce press. Let steep for 4 minutes. Press down the plunger rod to strain the grounds from the brew.

A dash of cinnamon.

Large skillet

Pan–sear it 7 minutes

Large pot

Boil it 45 minutes

BROCCOLI

Bake them 20 minutes

Oven, cookie sheet or baking dish

Oven, square baking pan

Drink

Use 2 cups of water for every cup of rice. Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce the heat, cover the pot and let simmer for 45–50 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 425.

Toss the broccoli florets generously with olive oil, salt, pepper and 4 peeled whole garlic cloves. Spread on a cookie sheet and roast for 25 minutes, until tender and tops are slightly browned.

Preheat the oven to 325.

Cover the baking pan with aluminum foil and grease it. Make batter and bake for 20–25 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out slightly moist with batter. Let cool for at least 30 minutes and cut into squares.

1 tablespoon lemon juice, 1 tablespoon olive oil, and 1/2 teaspoon dried dill make for a quick and delicious marinade.

2 tablespoons of butter and black pepper.

Zest and juice of 1 lemon, 1 tablespoon more of olive oil and a cup of parmesan cheese.

Chocolate chips and chopped walnuts.

1 cup warm milk + 1 oz bourbon + 1 dash cinnamon

of the Week: RUSH-CHLE MILK

You showed your new sorority sisters lol (lots of love) last night.

Now it’s time to show some to your vocal chords. Take a sip, relax and remember this one: pledging is just around the corner.

+

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

BROWNIES

Roast it 25 minutes

Heat the pan over medium heat, add a teaspoon of oil and then the salmon skin-side-down. Cook for four minutes and turn it over. Cook until nicely browned, about 3 more minutes.

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

THE

+ 13

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

THE WEIRDEST THING I ATE ABROAD Because they don't serve narwhal at Commons.

Krakow, Poland “Even though I studied abroad in London, the weirdest thing I ate was definitely when I traveled to Krakow. I went to have a traditional Polish lunch where I was served fried pork fat. Instead of butter, the bread was served with fried pork fat mixed with apples and cinnamon. It was very moist, but surprisingly void of flavor. I’m glad I tried it, but I’ll stick to high quality Italian olive oil, thank you very much.”.

— Chelsea Goldinger

Moscow, Russia “I had the displeasure of eating dried narwhal from Greenland at an exhibition on the Arctic. It smelled of rot and had elongated muscle fibers giving it a texture akin to hemp rope when chewed. Although glad to add it to my list of exotic foods, it will not be on my plate for some time to come.”

— Eric Schwartz

Barcelona, Spain “In winter the calcot, a bulbous leek-onion hybrid sprouts all around the region of Catalonia. In celebration locals gather for a Catalan style barbeque, or calcotada, where these roots are grilled by the hundreds. Friends and family gather in hordes to suck down their tender, juicy stems. Participants grab a calcot, bathe it in Romesco sauce, throw their heads back and let it slither down the gullet, re-dip and repeat.

Delicious.”

—Ali Kokot

Sevilla, Spain “Pringá is a typical Andalusian dish that consists of a variety of meats such as chicken, roast beef or pork, chorizo and morcilla (blood sausage) all mushed up together with

pork fat. The first time my host mom served us pringá, I was hesitant to eat this fatty meat mush. But I have to say, as long as the fat blobs aren’t that noticeable, when spread on bread, pringá is actually pretty good.”

—Julia Brownstein

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil “The weirdest thing I ate in Brazil was what they call coração de galinha, chicken heart. Even though for Brazilians this is a normal food, I had a hard time eating it at first. But hey—it was good!”

—Julio German Arias

Singapore, Singapore “While Southeast Asia is full of strange meat dishes (think shark–head stew, pig intestine soup and fried tarantu-

FREE QUIZO

la), Singapore’s got the market cornered on weird fruit.

One of them is practically a national icon—the durian. It looks like a mango covered entirely in deceptively sharp thorns, and when cracked open, it reveals yellow flesh and releases a notorious smell usually compared to

garbage and/or rotting flesh.

It has the texture of custard and a bitter, sweet and savory taste—nature’s umami fruit. Usually, feasting locals don plastic gloves to ward off the smell, but I didn't get the memo — so the smell stayed with me for two days. Yum." —Sam Brodey

You don't need to go abroad to eat weird food…

Put that Ivy-League Education to the Test!

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

See y'all at Commons!

Love,

Philly’s first-ever Quizo every Monday and Wednesday at 10PM 1st place: $50 gift card, 2nd place: $25 gift card!

Great food and drink specials during the quiz New menu coming in February

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Street

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Did you know Street has online exclusives?

Just ask Miss Cassandra. She'll tell you.

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The Philadelphia Orchestra New Location at:

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34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013 16

ARTS

YOUR SPRING GUIDE TO ART SUPPLIES Ditch Blick and Utrecht and check out these local venues. From paint and ceramics to sticks and leaves, Arts knows what you need.

BY GINA DECAGNA

1. Artist & Craftsman Supply 307 Market St. While you're browsing the historic buildings of Old City, this Mondrian-inspired storefront will catch your eye and lead you into a localized haven of everything and anything imaginable for your art class. The incredibly insightful staff will guide you through this art-store wonderland and grant you 10% off your purchase if you're a Penn student.

3. Webb Cam Photographic 241 N 12th St. This is the go-to photography store in Philadelphia. Whether you are a novice or a professional looking to buy or rent, you’ll find all the equipment you need. Come here for the perfect camera, lenses, lighting, chemicals, tripods and papers!

2. Monarch Hardware 4502 Walnut St. This tiny mom-and-pop shop is packed with every hardware item you need, without the overwhelming options of Home Depot!

Get your paint, nails, tape and hammer for sculpture class, or all the measuring tools for your architectural drafting class.

4. The Ceramic Shop 3245 Amber St. Whether you’re looking to make some Incan pots or to become the next beaded jewelry wizard, check out Philadelphia’s only ceramic supply shop. Because the store was founded by the Penn alum and instructor who sculpted the artsy gates of Addams Hall, you know you’ll get the best clay, glazes, metals and tools.

"In my dreams, I’m on the writing staff for Parks and Rec and have a premiere tonight for my new play being staged at a theatre I love with some amazing director I’ve been working with for years. In ten years, as long as I'm writing characters and my cardboard box has air conditioning, I’ll be happy. "

5. Bartram’s Garden 54th St. and Lindbergh Blvd.

Maybe you need some fuzzy cattails to draw for your textured still life, unusual flowers to photograph or perhaps woodchips for your next sculpture. Go to America’s oldest living botanical garden. It’s a modern Eden—an urban oasis, if you will — smack in the middle of smoggy Philadelphia.

Check out an extended interview with playwright Kate Herzlin online @34st.com.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34

ST

Turn your crappy t–shirt into a trendy accessory with these easy steps.

DO YOU PAY PER VIEW?

By GINA DECAGNA AND MEGAN RUBEN

T

hough we all know the Internet is for porn (thanks Avenue Q), the bedroom is no longer the only area being ceded to digital territory. For every girl with daddy’s AmEx, window browsing on Fifth Avenue has been replaced with online shopping. And FYEs everywhere have virtually been rendered useless (pun intended) with the existence of the multifarious iTunes store.

Things are no different here at Penn, where the Rave gets nearly half the traffic for the midnight screenings of blockbuster hits like Twilight as Hulu does the day after the newest episode of 30 Rock airs. This makes sense. We Penn students are too busy procrastinating on Penn InTouch and designing funny lacrosse pinnies for the clubs we’re involved in to leave the comfort of our beds to

watch Hugo in theaters. And we fit this mold of overworked Ivy League students well, with only about 17% of Penn undergrads watching movies at the Rave every semester.

But how about the other stereotype, the one that says all college students are poor? The free movement of information made possible by the interweb makes

you guess then that Penn students would prefer to get their RomCom fix online with free streaming websites like SideReel and Ch131 rather than pay for services provided by Netflix and Redbox?

While 75% of us watch movies online, nearly 50% pay for it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a new release on iTunes — is hysterical, but is Whose recommendations do you take? it worth the 50 1.5 salads at 47.7% Other Sweetgreen 40% 40 A Friend it would Cinema Studies have cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% I had seen it Professor or TA 20 in theaters?

Street Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were allowed to choose more dles aren’t than one option.

0 that bad, I guess. entertainment accessible and The average Penn student inexpensive to anyone with an (who is anything but average, if AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch-

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Don't Watch Movies 24.6% You Need: XL t–shirt (Check the depths of yourTheaters closet or any Free Streaming thrift47.7% store. Try Second Mile.)

16.9% Scissors Paid Online Services

1. Cut off the sleeves of your XL t–shirt.

2. Cut straight across the top of the shirt, just below the neckline.

9.2% 3. Cut straight across the bottom of the shirt, removing the seam.

4. Cut half–inch strips from1.5% the bottom and top of the shirt.

Use your judgment for the length of the strips; this doesn’t have to be exact.

Whythedocenter you go to shirt the movies?

5. Hold of the and pull on each strip so that 3.1%curls at the edges. the cloth 6.3% 6. Voilà! A swanky scarf to spice Other up that tired peacoat of It's a way to hang out with friends yours.

25%

40.6%

25%

es seven movies, more or less, every semester. Simple arithmetic proves that it’s $40 cheaper to watch said movies on Netflix than at the Rave, and an additional $20 less on iTunes (cost of popcorn and Mike and Ikes not included in these calculations). The low cost of watching seven movies on iTunes for less than 30 bucks is worth the many conveniences that online paid services afford us: not being interrupted by incessant buffering and commercials, the immunity to computer viruses and most importantly, not having to wait 54 minutes after watching 72 minutes of a movie on Megavideo.

Not to mention, it’s a small price to pay when you look at the big picture — the combined savings of the 47.7% of Penn students who pay for their online services rather than going to the movie theater is somewhere between $196,136 and $295,344, depending on whether they use Netflix or iTunes, respectively.

Moral of the story is: we won't judge if you just stay in bed. *A simple random sample of 100 Penn undergrads were surveyed to collect data about their film viewing habits.

It's a good study break It makes you feel relaxed and happy Required for Class

BY THE NUMBERS

$153,701 >> Total amount of money spent in movie theaters* by Penn students each semester

$196,136

>> Total amount of money spent watching online, if all people who paid for online services used iTunes*

$295,344

>> Total amount of money spent watching online, if all people who paid for online services used Netflix* *$12.50/ticket at the Rave *$3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes *$7.99/month on Netflix

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

Borrow from Library

Film polled you to1find out how you are getting your Sunday afternoon 2 movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN

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How Penn Students Watch Movies

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

DIY: FILM T–SHIRT SCARF

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highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

Lowbrow’s Holiday How to Regift Your Holiday Gifts

How to reuse your holiday decorations for 99% of the year Hanukkah

Les Miserables Soundtrack Perfect for MLK day. MLK’s not the only one who had a dream.

Gift Card Regift at any day, any time, anywhere— truly the gift for all occasions. Or don’t regift it, because gift cards are awesome.

(THIS MESSAGE WAS PAID FOR BY GIFT CARDS FOR AMERICA: GIFT CARDS, THE EVERYTIME GIFT).

A Bagel with Cream Cheese C’mon? Who gave you a bagel? Do you live in a family of squirrels?

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

Survival Guide

Stuffed to your gills with eggnog? Missing the slopes? Stuck with a bunch of junk that your weird relatives gave you? Follow this guide to get out of the post-holiday slump and back into Penn!

Bedazzled Wool Sweater Great Aunt Mildred’s been eyeing up that Urban Outfitters sequined sweater you receive ironically, and her 81st is right around the corner.

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Hangover

A Telescope What better way to celebrate Columbus Day? Chris dumped all of his trash on the New World, why not dump your trash on a new friend?

Anything You Think Can’t Be Regifted You can always just make it into a joke on April Fool’s Day! Something Cheap Regift on Cinco De Mayo, when the recipient will be too drunk to understand what the gift is.

Menorah Before: Celebrate the miracle of lights with a gorgeous menorah!

After: Mount the menorah on the wall and hang your coats on it!

Dreidel Before: During Hanukkah the dreidel can be used as a fun—or, let’s be real, really boring—game for children to play to win Hanukkah gelt!

After: Dress up like Leonardo Dicaprio from "Inception" for Halloween and use the dreidel as your totem.

Christmas Christmas Ornaments Before: Ornaments look so cute on your tree!

After: Break them in half and then use them as cups!

Christmas Stockings Before: Hang them on the fireplace and put small gifts in them!

After: Give them to a giant so he can use them as socks.

Christmas Tree Before: Put it up, decorate it and put presents under it!

After: Set it on fire and host a pyrotechnics show for the children in your neighborhood.

Nativity Scene Before: Use these figurines of the birth of Jesus to show your love of Christmas.

After: Put football paraphernalia of your favorite team on the figurines and stack them into a pyramid for Super Bowl season.

Kwanzaa Unity Cup Before: The Kwanzaa Unity Cup is a staple at any Kwanzaa celebration.

After: With some rhinestones and some glue you can turn your Unity Cup into a Getting Crunk Cup. Banker's tastes better when it’s coming out of a Crunk Cup.

Have you seen the weather? Have you seen how foggy it is? Are you thinking of jumping ship to warmer pastures?

Don’t! Just follow the simple guide below.

DO:

DON’T:

1. Buy a happy lamp.

1. Think about the second Hunger Games book where there is poisonous fog.

2. Pretend you’re on a ship in "The Pirates of the Carribean" and Jack Sparrow is your boyfriend.

3. Pretend that the reason it’s so foggy is because you're on a plane, and those are clouds, and you’re flying to Aruba.

2. Think about World War I. 3. Think about the Loch Ness monster.

4. Think about Jack the Ripper and the Streets of London.

4. Tell yourself you are at a rave with a fog machine.

5. Walk into a building.

5. Act as though all of the fog is smoke and that the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland is smoking a lot of hookah some place nearby.

6. Walk into the Schuylkill.

highbrow ego music film feature food & drink arts lowbrow

HOW TO SURVIVE JANUARY FOG

7. Walk into a moving car.

6. Pretend you’re a wizard.

8. Dress in all white.

7. Wear bright colors.

DISCLAIMER: Does this really seem real to you? It's not. It's fake. Idiot.

THE FOLLOWING SECTION IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

A guide to bars and nightclubs on or near Penn’s campus — 452-472 N. 9th Street • 215-908-2063 • starlight-ballroom.com

Venue available to book parties!

FREE PIZZA NIGHTS every Wednesday night from 9pm-2am. Industrial/house music night

Club Pulse — 1526 Sansom Street • 215-751-2711 • pulsephilly.com 10:00 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. • Live Band and DJ all Night!

• Drink Specials $2 Beer, $3 Mix Drink

NO COVER CHARGE — TUE, THU, FRI, SAT AND SUN

THURSDAY — COLLEGE NIGHT AT PULSE!

Copabanana — 40th & Spruce • 215-382-1330 • copabanana.com/uni.php

Copabanana is THE place to go for margaritas! Half price margaritas Mondays from noon to midnight. Happy Hour Mondays to Fridays from 5-7pm. Open late seven days a week! Philly’s award winning DJ Karaoke Joe is now at the Copabanana 40th and Spruce from 9:30 on Thursdays !

Stop in for Sunday brunch!

New Deck Tavern — 3408 Sansom Street • 215-386-4600 • newdecktavern.com

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

34th Street Bar The Guide Starlight Ballroom

Nestled on historical Sansom Street in University City, Philadelphia since 1986. We offer a vast array of draft beers. Our European draft beer system imported from County Cork, Ireland, gives us reason to boast that we pour the Best Pint in the City! Kitchen open till 1am daily w/half price menu Sun-Thurs. First Phila. Quizo location ever. Quizo every Mon and Wed at 10pm.

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Standard Tap 901 N 2nd St

Rocky Steps Ben Franklin Pkwy

Standard Tap has a vast array of local brews on tap and a knowledgeable waitstaff, allowing you to taste around and finally figure out the difference between a pilsner and a pale ale. To top — or should we say "tap" — it all off, they have a daily-changing menu that perfectly complements their brew selection.

Ditch the SABS scene at Pottruck and go for a run along the Schuylkill River Trail. Finish your run with a sprint up the PMA steps. It may be cliche, but, hey, it worked for Rocky, and he was in a lot better shape than you are.

Palette r e e B r u o Mature nYg the Delaware

Ge

in Ce t Health nter City Wy est

alo

Pure Fare 119 S 21st St, btw Walnut & Sansom Pure Fare is all about, well... pure fare.

Using organic ingredients to make healthy, fast meals, it's the perfect place to stop by after a satisfying run or work-out. It's also a godsend for those trying to watch their gluten.

Rittenhouse Farmers Market Rittenhouse Square

34TH STREET Magazine January 17, 2013

For the freshest produce to include in your new healthy diet regimen, head to Rittenhouse Square on Saturdays from 10 to 2. Vendors from all over greater Philadelphia set up stalls around the park with fruits, vegetables and dairy products.

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NEW YEAR, NEW YOU What’s your New Year’s resolution? Aw, really?

That’s cute. Ours is to help you do you. And better explore Philadelphia at the same time.

It’s a big, bad city, and you’re a brand-new you.

Go get ‘em, tiger.

American Spirits: The Rise and Fall of the Prohibition at the National Constitution Center 525 Arch St Go back in time to that most horrible era of American history known as the Prohibition. Check out rare artifacts from the 1920s such as flapper dresses and authentic barware, and stop by the re-created speakeasy to learn how to dance the Charleston. A must-visit for all alcohol-loving Americans.

Yards Brewery Tour 901 N Delaware Ave Learn what goes into making the perfect beer with a free tour of the Yards Brewery. Stick around after the tour for a tasting. Be sure to try their award-winning Pale Ale.

African American Museum in Philadelphia 701 Arch St What better way to commemorate the memory of Martin Luther King, Jr. this Monday than with a trip to the AAMP, where you can view arts and artifacts and exhibitions and programs that tell the history of African Americans and the African Diaspora.

Even better, admission is free all Monday long.

National Museum of American Jewish History 5th & Market Just down the block from the AAMP, the Museum of American Jewish History is also offering free admission this Monday.

Be sure to check out their showing of "From Swastika to Jim Crow," a documentary that inspired one of their current exhibits.

Arden Theater 40 N 2nd St At 5:30 this Monday, Arden Theater will be celebrating Dr. King through story-telling, open-mic performances, and hands-on art-making activities.

O n c e again, it's all free.

ew N ing h t e ity m o S Old C n r Lea in