01.26.17

Physically disabled students overcome academic and social obstacles

ACHIEVING ACCESSIBILITY

january 26

LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR

2016

LOL

Sweetgreen was closed for renovations for roughly a week and a half at the beginning of this semester. I complained for two weeks. When I went last night and the line was long, I complained louder. And don't forget the car alarm going off on Locust late last night—I woke up complaining. My very first words this morning were, "I don't deserve this." I start every conversation with some kind of grumble: I'm too warm, I'm not warm enough, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I have so much work, and did I mention that my shower ran cold today?

I'd like to think of myself as a pretty self–aware person. Not all of the time, of course, but for the most part. I truly believe being self–aware is one of the most meaningful traits a person can have (I'm humble too), but it also means that I can see my flaws, plain as day. I know how I come off to other people and I know the effect it has when every single word out of my mouth is whiney or otherwise singularly awful. My complaining once got so bad that my boyfriend designated his shoulder a "Complaining Shoulder," on which I would lean when I just really couldn't resist the urge to bitch for an hour. Truly, enabling at its finest.

3 HIGHBROW

hit it or quit it, roundup, overheards

4 WORD ON THE STREET

trump and the arts

5 EGO

eotw: Darren Tomasso, engagement

7 VICE & VIRTUE

faking orgasms, sugar babies, illegal pets

LOL

LOL

LOL

LOL

10 TECH

Uber drivers, pennstagram

12 FEATURE

disabilities at penn

15 F&TV

Paterson review, Amanda Prager

18 ARTS

doctor's office, coloring books, photographs made audible

21 LOWBROW LOL

trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump

34TH STREET MAGAZINE

FUCK A FAKE FRIEND, WHERE YOUR REAL FRIENDS AT?

STREET. THEY'RE AT STREET. COME JOIN THE STRAMILY TN AT OUR WRITERS' MEETING, 6:30, 4015 WALNUT. HENNESSEY MAY OR MAY NOT BE INCLUDED.

Orly Greenberg, Editor–in–Chief Dani Blum, Managing Editor Chloe Shakin, Audience Engagement Director Sofie Praestgaard, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director

Dalton Destefano, Film & TV Beat Michaela Reitano, Film & TV Beat Dayzia Terry, Film & TV Beat Annika Iyer, Ego Beat Julia Bell, Ego Beat Jackie Lawyer, Ego Beat Caroline Harris, Highbrow Beat Nick Castoria, Highbrow Beat Alix Steerman, Highrow Beat Claire Schmidt, Lowbrow Beat Andrea Begleiter, Lowbrow Beat Andreas Pavlou, Vice & Virtue Beat Gomian Konneh, Vice & Virtue Beat Aliya Chaudhry, Tech Beat Annabelle Williams, Tech Beat Colin Lodewick, Arts Beat Linda Lin, Arts Beat

Remi Lederman, Features Editor David Murrell , Features Editor Emily Schwartz, Word on the Street Editor Nick Joyner , Film & TV Editor Elena Modesti, Highbrow Editor Michael Coyne, Ego Editor Zoe Albano-Oritt, Vice & Virtue Editor Talia Sterman, Music Editor Morgan Potts, Tech Editor Katie Marshall, Lowbrow Editor Jillian Karande, Music Beat Mark Paraskevas, Music Beat Angela Huang, Music Beat Jamie Gobreski, Music Beat

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This isn't going to be a letter instructing you to take a step back, be appreciative, check your damn privilege. I don't like that kind of rhetoric. It's okay to be bothered by the small stuff. I am saying, however, that it isn't okay to be perpetually dissatisfied—and then to simply stew in your dissatisfaction.

There is always action to take and there's always a conversation to initiate, the opportunity to do something productive instead of squandering time and energy with meaningless whining. This week's issue is about taking action into your own hands. It's about making your Penn experience meaningful, despite uncontrollable forces (pg. 12). It's about taking ownership of your body (pg. 4). And it's about taking advantage of, ahem, the small pleasures in life (pg. 9).

Action, that's what I'm aiming for this week. Productive action over meaningless words. It's a small victory to take the little things in stride, but a victory all the same.

Although to be fair, the car alarm was really, really loud.

Staff Writers: Emily Rush, Haley Weiss, Lily Snider, Meerabelle Jesuthasan, Michelle Pereira, Shilpa Saravanan, Steph Barron, Bowman Cooper, Julie Levitan, Emily Cieslak, Lauren Donato,

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Sabrina Qiao Zack Greenstein, Design Editor Carissa Zou, Design Editor Teagan Aguirre, Design Editor Gloria Yuen, Illustrator Anne Marie Grudem, Illustrator Edward Kim, Design Contributor Autumn Powell, Photo Editor Naomi Elegant, Photo Editor Brinda Ramesh, Photo Editor Young Lee, Video Editor Emily Hason, Video Editor Kyler McVay, Copy Director Paola Ruano, Copy Editor Erin Farrell, Copy Editor Perren Carillo, Copy Editor Sofia Price, Social Media Editor

Cole Bauer, Social Media Editor Maya Rosenberg, Social Media Editor Blake Brashear, Social Media Editor Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Autumn Powell, Brinda Ramesh and Naomi Elegant.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Orly Greenberg, Editor–in–Chief, at greenberg@dailypennsylvanian.com. You can also call us at (215) 422-4640. www.34st.com "Corey, why do I always see references to you and menstruation in 34th Street??" ©2017 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

HIT IT OR QUIT IT

Sometimes you're in, but most of the time you're out...

HIGHBROW

love to watch him leave—especially when his destination is Penn. Imagine how many more opportunities we'll have to get 500+ Instagram likes now that the man himself can be seen trolling

Locust. Obama and Biden memes might be on the decline, but Biden and Gutmann memes could be the next big hit. Chances he will be the number one SABSer in front of Frontera are way too high.

HIT IT: HOUSE PARTY still find yourself in the C1-G3 QUIT IT: FRAT PARTY rotation, but it’ll be worth it.

We’ve been back for two weeks, and going out in the cold is already a no–go. Stay inside, don’t leave your bed and just House Party with your homies.

We're not talking about your standard high school basement banger—we mean the multi– person Facetime app. It’s all the perks of a Skype interview, but without the unavoidable aneurism. Double chins welcome.

HIT IT: VSCO QUIT IT: VALENCIA In the wise and annoyingly catchy words of the Chainsmokers, choosing between "XX Pro or Valencia" for your #Selfie is so 2014. VSCO has been a silent killer in the photo–editing game and will definitely benefit your Instagram style way more than a generic insta filter. With a wide range selection, you’ll probably

HIT IT: "RAINDROP, DROP TOP" QUIT IT: CROP TOP Baby, it's cold outside. While you're tipsily pretending to know the words to every song that comes on at Smokes', you can stop making the rest of us feel bad for going out swaddled in sweaters.

Sink or Swim in sweatpants, anyone?

After spending too much time pretending like Penn actually has a syllabus week (or two), it’s time to start acting like the well–brought–up, sophisticated geniuses we all think we are.

A Theos brother got a little too lit last weekend at a Lantern event. The blasted brother tried to make his way over to Smokes’, only to later arrive at what he believed was his final destination: the McDonald’s on 40th Street. Upon entering, he started yelling at the other patrons inside of McDonald's. Fortunately, for some, his flame began to fade and he soon passed out on one of the tables. One of his friends tried waking him up, but the sleeping junior fought back in protest. Abandoned by his fellow brothers, the boy was left inside McDonald's.

at

Carnivore: The Sweet– green reopening was like Black Friday for basic girls.

A visually impaired animal lover: One time, I wasn’t wearing my glasses and I asked someone to pet their dog and they were like, “This is a goat.”

Innovative Whartonite: Dude, as capitalists, we could’ve made so much money off of the Women’s March. Just selling branded t-shirts or something.

Sexual Butterfly: Chlamydia sounds so beautiful. Like a flower.

HIT IT: BIDEN IN OFFICE HOURS QUIT IT: BIDEN IN OFFICE We hate to see him go, but we

THEROUNDUP

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons/Wikimedia.

over heard PENN

Bottled, not still guy: I only trust FIJI. It’s the only kind of water good enough for my body.

Things got "Superbad" super fast, but this time there was no McLovin involved. The Theos boy woke up to find himself in the local hospital after MERT came to his rescue. To make things worse: no happy meal toy was included.

An SAE rush gave a whole new meaning to "drunken sailor" this weekend when he also ended up in the hospital. The rush was just trying to sea and be sean, but unfortunately never made it aboard the Yacht for their date night. While ashore, the rush tried climbing a fence in an attempt to escape the police before the big night had even started. The poor frosh then woke up three hours later to find himself in a NYC hospital with a sky–high BAC and a some cuts and bruises on his face. Maybe next year he'll be able to hit the high seas without get (ship)wrecked before departure.

We wouldn't be Highbrow if we didn't make you feel better about drunk–eating your room-

mate’s food and then throwing up on her carpet last week, so here's some more indecent info about what went down last weekend.

Thank your lucky Hall–stars that you weren’t on the rush bus coming back from the A’s New York date night, which rolled back to campus at 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning because of an unexpected flat tire. Sunday scaries just got scarier. On the more professional end, a poor new OAX biddie, unseasoned to the complicated world of party themes, showed up to a “Whiskey Business” Apes event in full–on OCR attire. Somehow the “whiskey” part of the theme got lost in translation, but who says you can’t get weird in a pencil skirt. Not us.

The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.

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WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET

GET OUTTA MY ROE V. WAY(DE)

I can’t wait to be a mother someday. Seriously. You know that baby fever that women in rom–coms can’t seem to ever shut up about as they approach their (gasp!) 30th birthdays? I’ve had that since I was 12. I don’t think I could ever give up my career to take care of kids, but I know that when it comes to balancing, my future family will always be my first priority. I’ll even (much to the chagrin of my all–girls prep school) choose my family over personal accomplishment to a certain point, if I'm faced with such a decision.

While the percentage of my friends who share my baby fever at age 20 is certainly larger than it was at age 12, it's still nowhere near a majority. And when it comes to the idea of motherhood, I know what I don't want as well as I know what I do want. I don't want to bring a kid into this world a second before I'm ready to—and definitely not while Trump is president. Although I’ve always been staunchly pro–choice, I’d never felt comfortable being extremely vocal about my political opinions before this year. Three things happened that changed that for me. First, I spent the entirety of last semester working on a production of a fantastically progressive play called Dry Land, in which I played Amy, a high school swimmer who dangerously terminates a pregnancy with an illegally purchased medical abortion pill. Second and third: the pussy–grabber of an election season and the fall 2016 genesis of Quakers for Life, our very own campus pro–life group.

Because of these things, I’m now vocal about what I believe. And what I believe is that the withholding of any reproductive technologies or medical advances that can give a woman more control over her reproductive system, due to legislative, financial, educational, social or any other type of barriers, is completely and inarguably wrong. What I believe is that regardless of how anyone feels about the controversial issues of birth control and abortion, women are going to do what they want, when they want. All that restrictive legislation does is endanger them. That's why I'm currently working to create a network of resources for reproductive rights.

You might disagree with me because of your religious beliefs. I get this. I understand where you are coming from, and I’ve wondered about some of it. Like some of the people I’ve met who fight for reproductive rights, I pray daily to a G–d that I’ve spent my whole life believing in. But whether 4

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Why I advocate for reproductive rights.

HALEY WEISS or not I agree with the ideas extrapolated from my religious text doesn’t matter.

You might disagree with me because of your ethical beliefs. I get this, too. I’ve been fascinated by bioethics since middle school, and now that I’m nearly done with the minor, I would love to have a conversation with anyone who is interested about Judith Jarvis Thomson’s 1971 paper, “A Defense of Abortion.” That ethical discussion gives rise to fascinating debates, but whether or not I’m able to definitively make up my mind on this ethical issue doesn’t actually matter.

In truth (and not in “alternative fact”), there is

highly restrictive abortion laws and lower abortion rates. In fact, in Latin America, a region in which abortion is illegal in all but very specific circumstances, the abortion rate is 32 per 1,000 women of childbearing age. Other restrictive regions have equally high numbers, while Western Europe, which has much more lenient policies surrounding abortion, has a rate of only 12 per 1,000. On Monday, Trump signed the “Global Gag Rule,” a ban on United States funding for any international programs that provide abortions or related education abroad. Without proper education and funding, women outside of the United States will resort more often to dangerous, illegal and unmonitored abortions.

Within the United States, the lack of access to legal abortion is an equally, if not more concerning, problem. The medical abortion pill, the same pill my character in Dry Land used, is a safe and non–invasive option for women who need to terminate a pregnancy, as long as it’s before the 10– week point of gestation. At a clinic, women who choose to use the pill instead having a surgical abortion are given guidance and painkillers as needed. With increased restrictions on legal abortion, though, women who cannot get to a clinic because of money, time or other barriers will increasingly use this pill illegally, even at later points of gestation—when the process is likely to be far more painful, frightening and possibly dangerous.

The cost of abortion alone is a significant barrier for many women. A recent study of Australian women found that nearly 1/3 of women who had difficulty paying for a legal Illustration by Sofie Praestgaard abortion made the choice to forgo food and groceries in order to be able to afford only one thing that matters to me when discussing the procedure. Last Saturday, when I attended the reproductive rights: the health and safety of every Women’s March in D.C., I wasn’t at all surprised single other human in the world. The ability to that people around the world were joining us debate the religious morality or ethics of abortion in displays of solidarity. A year ago many of the and contraception, or the rights or lack thereof of women who came out this weekend wouldn’t have the fetus, is a privilege. This is the kind of dilemma felt like they needed to march. A year ago I’d never we are facing with the modern state of reproduchave felt like I needed to start a group at Penn tive rights: it doesn’t matter what you want other focused solely on organizing efforts to fight for people to do. If they’re going to do it anyway, all reproductive justice. But under our current adminthat really matters is how safe you want them to be istration, we need these things more than ever. while doing it.

Abortion happens. Make it safe.

The Guttmacher Institute, one of the leading research and policy organizations committed to reproductive rights, has collected report after report proving that there is no correlation between

EGO

ENGAGED AT A TENDER AGE “I guess he didn’t want to ask for my number, so the only way that I knew him was on Instagram," laughs Zahraa Mohammed, a College sophomore. "We followed each other, and so he DM’d me and was like, 'Hey, I don’t really have your number, but I was wondering if you could iMessage me—like, not even text me—and I was like, 'Oh, I don’t have an iPhone.' And he was like, ‘Oh, I don’t have text messaging,’ so then we started talking on Whatsapp."

This exchange marked the start of her nearly two–year relationship with her now fiancé. Zahraa is one of the few Penn students who take college relationships to the next level: putting a ring on it. Read more of her, and other engaged Quakers', stories below.

DOUG DOLITSKY (E'17) “We’ve been long–distance the vast majority of our relationship," says Doug. "We started like a month before senior year [of high school]

ended, then I was away that summer, then I took a gap year in Israel, and she was in New York, so we were super far for a year, and then the

past three and a half years I’ve been here. So, it’s been all we’ve known basically."

Doug comes from an Orthodox Jewish community, and so getting married at a younger age than the national average was expected for him and his friends.

“I have a ton of friends who are married or engaged. There are a few girls from my grade who have kids already, so definitely the ‘rising age’ is a little distant from me, but...I don’t think there’s a right or wrong age, whenever you feel ready.”

Love in the age of DFMOs JACKIE LAWYER

LUIS DE CASTRO (C'17) “We got engaged at the start of this year, so like January, this month, couple weeks ago," Luis says. "It’s kind of been like an understood thing for a while, you know, that we’re just sort of biding our time because of school."

Luis has been dating his fiancée, a model and dancer in New York, for five years. "We want to get married some time in the late summer or early fall this year, but you know, like I said, we’ve been de facto engaged for years already,” he says.

“I feel like, people over–value things like the stereotypical col-

lege experience and, you know, ‘being single,’" he says. "And I’m personally happier being with someone, and I value that highly. I don’t think the benefit of just being single for being single’s sake is there, just because you don’t want to be tied up in something long term when you’re young. But also I think a big factor behind the rising age of marriage is just going to be the rising number of people going to college because you’re just postponing it for four years for the majority of young Americans now.”

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EMILY STINNETT (C'17) The reactions of people in Emily’s life when she tells them about her engagement are generally positive, but she's tired of hearing one key phrase: “You’re so young."

"I get that every time," she says. "Doesn’t fail. Especially here, not so much in Tennessee, I don’t know, the Bible Belt, a lot of people get married young, I guess, but it’s definitely a shocker here.” She and her fiancé, who currently attends West Point, have been together for seven years, and both come from families where their parents got married at a young age as well.

“Being on this end of it, I think there is a little bit of a stigma against marrying young just because people are like, ‘How are you so sure?’ or, 'You’re so naïve." That mentality led Emily to take off her engagement ring before dental school interviews.

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EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: DARREN TOMASSO

Class board president, Brazilian butt–lifting bodybuilder and twerker extraordinaire. Read on for #fitnessgoals inspiration.

“So, little known fact, I’m still on the meal plan,” a slightly shameful Darren Tomasso says.

"And not just like dining dollars, like the actual swipes.” Darren's been dedicated to fitness and strength training since his sophomore year of high school, and since then, he averages "seven plates of food" per day—which is really only economically feasible with the swipe system.

“I had an injury sophomore year, so I spent a lot of time in the trainer’s office, learning about how to train people, how to prevent injuries and heal injuries," he says. "Then, from there, I helped my mom lose over 100 pounds, because that was her goal, and so I helped train her, motivate her and then I had that sort of one– on–one client relationship and really realized how much I loved training other people.”

Darren centers his life around that point: helping people, through training or through bringing them together. Even in settings literally defined as competitions, like Mr. Penn, he managed to view contestants

as a community. “[Before the competition] all the guys and all the women are lifting weights, just trying to look bigger, and then they bring out a thing of baby oil, and then just like, you open up the oil, people are doing pushups on the ground, the oil is spilling everywhere, people are sliding all around, and I remember we created like a train, and we’re all putting oil on each other’s backs.

It’s not competitive and we’re all helping each other out; It’s a fun environment,” he says. Darren won the bodybuiliding competition last year.

An extrovert in the truest sense of the word, he gains his energy and joy from other people, which is why he of course took the opportunity to be an instructor at Pottruck for a Brazilian Butt Lift class. “I have so much fun. I just like go into the studio and blast music and everyone comes in, they throw their book bags down in their little cubbies, take their jackets off and then once the music starts bumping they’re about it, and everyone starts doing the workout...every training session

just makes my day.”

When he’s not busy sculpting glutes, Darren's serving his fourth consecutive year as president of Class Board of the Class of 2017.

“It’s been an awesome opportunity to hold a ton of different events throughout Philadelphia," he says. "And meet a of people in our class and bring people together. I met most of my close friends just campaigning first semester freshman year and without Class Board, without running in an election, I don’t think that I would have met them. Also, I just don’t think I would have met all the people I’ve met at Class Board events, so I think Class Board has really shaped my experience.”

While he doesn’t have an exact plan for the skill set he honed during his time at Penn, Darren has a few things in mind, “I’m in between consulting, marketing, pursuing personal fitness, maybe running for president or going into politics because, why not?" he says. "And then also living vicariously through my children to make them professional tennis players. So something in there.”

Street: If you are what you eat then what are you?

adolescent facial hair.

Street: What’s your biggest change since NSO?

Darren Tomasso: Protein?

Protein. Protein powder.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn…

Street: If you were in a lip sync battle, what song would you sing?

DT: I think we have to go back to the campaign video, Miley Cyrus’ "We Can’t Stop." Yeah, definitely that.

DT: Those who face the glass in Huntsman GSRs and those who face away from the glass in Street: If you were a contestant on The Bachelorette how would GSRs. you make your entrance?

Street: What would a cartoon DT: A weird freak combination version of you look like? of twerking and bodybuilding poses, so flexing. A weird DT: Well I’m going through this like, mid–senior year crisis combination of the two, so I would probably end up shirtless right now with this beard. So at some point. definitely some type of very 6

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If he does end up trying to lead the nation, know that it probably means a re–screening of his freshman year campaign video featuring his twerking skills.

INTERVIEW CONDUCTED

BY JACKIE LAWYER

GET TO KNOW DARREN IN HIS OWN WORDS:

DT: Biggest change. So, I came into Penn weighing 135 pounds, and now I’m 170. So that’s a big change. Plus like, no, yeah, that’s the biggest change.

Street: Approximately how many times would I have to go to your Brazilian butt lifting class before my butt was Brazilian and lifted?

DT: Two weeks. It’s an hour each, plus that’s like over 200 squats. If you don’t have it, you’ll feel like you have it, and that’s a big confidence boost.

NAME: DARREN TOMASSO HOMETOWN: VINELAND, NJ MAJOR: PSYCHOLOGY ACTIVITIES: CLASS BOARD, FRIARS, CLUB TENNIS, 180 DEGREES CONSULTING, PERSONAL TRAINING AND GROUP FITNESS INSTRUCTOR

VICE & VIRTUE

I TRIED TO BECOME A SUGAR BABY I was once a male sugar baby—well, a potential one. In search of financial stability, and and inspired by @yungfumes on Snapchat (an Internet personality who's open about her sugar baby, stripper and student lifestyle), I made an account on seekingarrangement.com and started looking for a sugar daddy.

Sugaring is a term used to describe the act of having a sugar daddy or mamma: someone who provides financial support in a relationship with a sugar baby. Seeking Arrangement, describes their site as a place "where Sugar Babies enjoy a life of luxury by being pampered with fine dinners, exotic trips and allowances. In turn, Sugar Daddies or Mommas find beautiful members to accompany them at all times."

In the time I spent on the site, I found that sugaring was a sort of art. The best profiles struck the right balance between ambition, sensitivity and genuine interests, and they carefully reflected this balance in photos and written descriptions. People put endless identifiers in their profiles—income, location, interests, goals, preferred body type and race—that helped me identify exactly who I would be interested in and who may be interested in me. Building my profile was like applying for a job; looking for a suitable sugar daddy was like sifting through job applications. Messages came in, and the conversations started rolling.

But that’s about where my experience ends. I spoke to many sugar daddies in Los Angeles, Washington D.C, New York and Philadelphia—and contrary to popular belief, sugaring isn’t all about sex or money. The terms of the relationship are up to the parties involved. People may look at sugaring as a sort of high–paid form of prostitution, but Seeking Arrangement does not allow any nudity or

mention of sex in user profiles.

These regulations don't extend to the private messaging part of the site, though, which allows users to talk on their own terms.

However, all of the daddies I spoke to simply weren't looking for arrangements that worked for me. One sugar daddy that I spoke to for a while was looking for someone to visit his home about twice a week to “see where things can go.” Others were more direct, requesting nude photos and descriptions of sexual preferences and “skills."

But many daddies I talked to were just looking for someone to mentor through adulthood— a companion they could guide.

It's important to remember, though, that sugaring is a mutually beneficial relationship.

A sugar baby must be ready to give up something for their sugar daddy, whether it be time, sex, traveling or a combination of all three.

Upon realizing that I wasn’t quite ready to make an arrangement with any of the men on the website, I decided that maybe sugaring isn’t for me.

However, I think it's important to not look down on people who do have sugar–relationships. Being a sugar baby has great benefits for students and people who just need help making ends meet. As a society we don’t look down on a person who marries “into money” but for some reason we see sugar babying as something negative.

If you need an emotionally stable, and financially stable relationship I would check out sugaring—it may not have been for me, but it works well for a lot of others. For example my friend Stacy*, a fellow college student, had a great experience sugaring. *The author's name has been removed for anonymity.

A Peak Into the World of Sugaring

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VICE & VIRTUE

THE PRIVATE PET–SMUGGLERS OF PENN

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"They aren’t gonna find (C’17).

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If you have a maintenance like ‘Well, what are they going (thanks (thanks (thanks Avenue Avenue Avenue Q),Q), Q), thethe theLeague League League students students students well, well, well, with with with only only onlyRomCom RomCom RomCom fixfionline xfixonline online with with with freefree free drawback: pets are request and someone comes, it bedroom bedroom bedroom is no isisno longer nolonger longer thethe the only only onlyabout about about 17% 17% 17% of of Penn ofPenn Penn undergrads undergrads undergradsstreaming streaming streaming websites websites websites likebanned like like SideReel SideReel SideReel to do to me? Are they really from most residences.

Housgoing to kick me out on the 9.2% 9.2% 9.2% isn’t really the people directly area area area being being being ceded ceded ceded to to digital todigital digital territerriterri-watching watching watching movies movies movies at the atatthe Rave theRave Rave ev-evev-and and and Ch131 Ch131 Ch131 rather rather rather than than than paypay pay forforfor ing companies and RAs alike street?'

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But from the housing office—they tory. tory. tory.

ForFor For every every every girlgirl with girlwith with daddy’s daddy’s daddy’seryery semester. erysemester. semester. services services services provided provided provided byby Netfl byNetfl Netfl ix and ixixand and enforce strict regulations for if so, like, whatever.

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1.5% 1.5% 1.5% students who wish to house For some students, caged place.”

Fifth Fifth Fifth Avenue Avenue Avenue hashas been hasbeen been replaced replaced replacedreotype, reotype, reotype, thethe one theone one that that that says says says all all colallcolcol- While While While 75% 75% 75% of of usofus watch uswatch watch movmovmovcats, dogs or caged animals animals are an easier alternaAlthough some residences, with with with online online online shopping. shopping. shopping.

And And Andlege lege lege students students students areare poor? arepoor? poor?

The The The freefree freeiesies online, iesonline, online, nearly nearly nearly 50% 50% 50% paypay pay forforfor within their registered accomtive.

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And A Friend A Friend A Friend It makes It makes It makes youyou feel you feel relaxed feel relaxed relaxed and happy and happy happy nearly nearly nearly half half half thethe the traffi traffi traffi c for c cforfor thethe the it it it would would would “Tomorrow, I have a tour gled their pets in.

Fully aware I knew it was a dumb college of my apartment that they’re Cinema Cinema Cinema Studies Studies Studies 25% 25% 25% midnight midnight midnight screenings screenings screenings of ofblockofblockblock- 30 3026.2% have have have cost cost cost if if if Required Required Required for for Class for Class Class 30 Major Major Major 26.2% 26.2% 25% 25% 25% 25% 25% 25% of the consequences, there exdecision, but I just needed to buster buster buster hitshits hits likelike like Twilight Twilight Twilight as Hulu asasHulu Hulu I Ihad had seen seen seen it it it going to be doing to show a Professor Professor Professor or TAor or TA TA I had ists a dark underbelly oftheaters? brave does does does thethe the dayday day after after after thethe the newest newest newest 20 20 20 in inin theaters? theaters? prospective person who’s going get a random pet.”

Street Street Street students willing to risk it itnooall According to Kaitlin, hidepisode episode episode of of30 of30Rock 30Rock Rock airs. airs. airs.

This This This 10 10 10 Ramen Ramen Ramen noonoo- to rent it," Daniel says. "So *Students *Students *Students surveyed surveyed surveyed werewere were for their furry companions. ing I am actually taking my cat allowed allowed allowed to choose to choose to more choose more moredles makes makes makes sense. sense. sense.

WeWe We Penn Penn Penn students students students dles dlesaren’t aren’t aren’tes es seven esseven seven movies, movies, movies, more more more or or less, orless, less, her rabbit from housing than than onethan option. oneone option. option. "[My housing agency] tomorrow morning to [my areare are tootoo too busy busy busy procrastinating procrastinating procrastinating 0 0 0 that that that bad, bad, bad, I I Ievery every every semester. semester. semester.

Simple Simple Simple arithmearithmearithme-officials was a simple task. doesn’t allow pets in my parfriend’s] house, and he’s gonna onon Penn onPenn Penn InTouch InTouch InTouch and and and designdesigndesignguess. guess. guess. tictic proves ticproves proves that that that it’sit’s $40 it’s$40 $40 cheaper cheaper cheaper“Whenever [they] came to do ticular apartment.

I think it chill there for the day.” inging ing funny funny funny lacrosse lacrosse lacrosse pinnies pinnies pinnies forforforentertainment entertainment entertainment accessible accessible accessible and and and The The The average average average Penn Penn Penn student student studentto to watch towatch watch said said said movies movies movies onon Netfl onNetfl Netfl ix ixixhousing, all my friends would was in my lease that I signed…

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Wouldn’t Wouldn’t Wouldn’tyou you you askask Amy askAmy Amy Gutmann) Gutmann) Gutmann) watchwatchwatch-tional tional tional $20 $20 $20 lessless less onon iTunes oniTunes iTunes (cost (cost (costput the cage on the floor and studio since this December. of of popcorn ofpopcorn popcorn and and and Mike Mike Mike and and and Ikes Ikes Ikesjust drape a blanket over it.“ “Truthfully, I’d always been notnot not included included included in inthese inthese these calculacalculacalcula-Unfortunately, Kaitlin had more of a dog person, but Iwatch-to return her rabbit back to tions). tions). tions).

The The The lowlow low cost cost cost of of watchofwatchgot a cat because they’re just inging seven ingseven seven movies movies movies onon iTunes oniTunes iTunes forforforthe farm where she originally >>>> >> Total Total Total amount amount amount of ofof so much easier to take care ofthe lessless less than than than 3030 bucks 30bucks bucks is worth isisworth worth the thepurchased it, due to difficulties money money money spent spent spent in in movie inmovie movie in finding pet–sitters during than dogs," he says, "because many many many conveniences conveniences conveniences that that that online online online theaters* theaters* theaters* byby Penn byPenn Penn breaks.

But even without her [with] dogs, you have to walk paid paid paid services services services afford afford afford us:us: not us:not not be-bebestudents students students each each each semester semester semester pet currently by her side, she's [them] and then they need inging ing interrupted interrupted interrupted bybyby incessant incessant incessant exercise and lots of play—and buffering buffering buffering and and and commercials, commercials, commercials, thethe thenot sorry she owned one. “I litter boxes aren’t a thing.

But immunity immunity immunity to to computer tocomputer computer viruses viruses virusesguess, now, I would’ve been for cats, you just put some and and and most most most importantly, importantly, importantly, notnot not havhavhav-more nervous about it, but food out for them, put some inging ing to towait towait wait 545454 minutes minutes minutes after after afterat the time, we were really inamount our ability water out, put out a litter box >>>> >> Total Total Total amount amount of ofto ofhide watching watching watching 7272 minutes 72minutes minutes of of a of movie a amovie movieconfident him.” and they’re set." money money money spent spent spent watching watching watching onon Megavideo. onMegavideo.

Megavideo.

For the students who own Amanda* (C’17) agreed that online, online, online, if all if if all people all people people who who who Not Not Not to to mention, tomention, mention, it’sit’s ait’ssmall a asmall small these pets, their furry friends cats are a more practical pet paid paid forfor online foronline online services services services price price price to to pay topay pay when when when you you you look look look at atat paid a iTunes* break from the choice.

Dine-In, Dine-In, Dine-In, Catering Catering Catering &&Delivery &Delivery Delivery used used used iTunes* iTunes* the the big thebig picture bigpicture picture —— the —the combined thecombined combinedprovide “I think that cats areofgenersavings savings savings of of the of the the 47.7% 47.7% 47.7% of Penn ofPenn Pennday–to–day chaos of Penn Happy Happy Happy Hour: Hour: Hour: Mon-Fri Mon-Fri Mon-Fri 5-7 5-7 5-7 ally lower maintenance, so students students students who who who paypay for payfor their fortheir their online online onlinelife. “It’s been really helpful to you don’t really have to walk services services services rather rather rather than than than going going going to to the tothe thehave a cat here," said Amanda, Lunch Lunch Lunch Special: Special: Special: Mon-Fri Mon-Fri Mon-Fri $8.95 $8.95 $8.95 [them].

Cats are pretty good movie movie movie theater theater theater is somewhere isissomewhere somewhere be-bebe-“just because it’s a really good reliever, and pets are very about not destroying things tween tween tween $196,136 $196,136 $196,136 and and and $295,344, $295,344, $295,344,stress >>>> >> Total Total Total amount amount amount ofof therapeutic.

And it’s of just really and peeing on things and Early Early Early Bird: Bird: Bird: Sun-Thur Sun-Thur Sun-Thur $10.95 $10.95 $10.95 depending depending depending onon whether onwhether whether they they they useuse use money money money spent spent spent watching watching watching cute when you come home— things like that, so you really Netfl Netfl Netfl ix ix orixor iTunes, oriTunes, iTunes, respectively. respectively. respectively. online, online, online, if all ifgrabbing ifall people allpeople people who who who you’re your umjust have to feed [them] and Moral Moral Moral of of the ofthe story thestory story is: is: we is:we won't wewon't won'twhen paid paid paid forsomething—to for online foronline online services services services brella or just spend time with [them]," she judge judge judge if you if ifyou you justjust just stay stay stay in in bed. inbed. bed. used used used Netflix* Netflix* pet the cat,Netflix* give him a snuggle says. Amanda’s cat Salem is and then leave.” one of three cats that she has • 215.387.8533 • •215.387.8533 *A*A*A simple simple simple random random random sample sample sample PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com 215.387.8533 in her off–campus *$12.50/ticket *$12.50/ticket at the atatthe Rave theRave Rave ofsmuggled of 100 of100 100 Penn Penn Penn undergrads undergrads undergrads were were were *$12.50/ticket • University • •University 4006 4006 4006 Chestnut Chestnut Chestnut Street Street Street University City City City *Names changed for residence. *$3.99 *$3.99 *$3.99 to rent to torent arent movie a amovie movie onanonymon iTunes oniTunes iTunes surveyed surveyed surveyed to to collect tocollect collect data data data about about about *$7.99/month *$7.99/month *$7.99/month on on Netflix onNetflix Netflix ity.

“I don’t really care about the 8 88 their their their film film fiviewing lmviewing viewing habits. habits. habits.

BY BY BYTHE THE THE NUMBERS NUMBERS NUMBERS

$153,701 $153,701 $153,701

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

$196,136 $196,136 $196,136

$295,344 $295,344 $295,344

8

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VICE & VIRTUE

MAKE IT, DON'T FAKE IT: THE ELUSIVE FEMALE ORGASM Who came first?

Probably not the girl.

I’ve done it, you’ve done it, and—hard as it may be to accept—one of your sexual partners has almost definitely done it. We’ve added some theatrics to how we respond in the bedroom. In other words, we’ve faked or exaggerated orgasms.

And, though men often dramatize too, the amplified moans and false words of gratitude most frequently come from the voices of women. Since there are fewer physical indicators when a woman has finished, it makes sense that we’re the ones who do this more often. We can get away with it— but should we? And why do we feel the need to do this?

I spoke to three women who let me in on their thoughts.

“I definitely cared about making sure that [the men] felt prideful, or not prideful, but like they were doing a good job.” Sarah* (C ‘19) told me as we sat on second floor of The Arch, scents from

Frontera wafting up the stairs.

“They take it so personally sometimes, and it’s like, that’s just my body,” She shrugged.

“Sometimes I think I understand why people do it, it’s

just like avoiding an awkward moment.”

Isabelle* (C ‘20) also echoed these sentiments. “My sexual partner lacked confidence, so I wanted to increase his confidence, in hopes that he would improve his skills,” she told me. “I did do it here, at Penn actually, because my partner significantly lacked the abili-

ties in his sexual skills, and I just wanted the experience to be over and done with, so I completely faked it, and then proceeded to say thank you."

Ana* (C’17) has faked

orgasm and of having to talk about it. We’d rather just “finish” the awkward or poor sexual encounter. Or, maybe it’s just not happening for us that day.

“I think a lot of people I know have faked orgasms, just because they feel bad,” said Ana. “I think there’s this weird sexist thing going on, where girls are said to not always finish, but guys are always gonna finish, right? So we feel like we have to say that we finish, so that we’re equal… we were actually talking about it in the house the other day, because it’s this weird kind of thing where the male is always supposed to finish after sex and the girl, maybe [finishes], who orgasms with both male and knows." female sexual partners. “I faked I sat down with Dave* it early, so that I could stop...

(C'20) to get a guy's perspecit was because it felt like it was tive on the issue. "I would say [taking] too long, and I felt [sex] is pretty equal," He told weird for it being too long.” me on the second floor of Van Maybe we don’t want our Pelt, "I think I know when partner to feel poorly about girls come." I doubted this, their performance. Maybe we so I asked him to guess at the want to avoid the awkwardfrequency with which girls fake ness of trying to actually reach orgasm.

"Fuck, I have no idea," he laughed, "That's gotta depend on the girl obviously... maybe like 20 percent of the time? I have no idea, no idea. I've like never talked about that [with a partner]." He continued, "I'm sure most guys know that girls fake it, [but] I doubt anyone's thinking that they have [with them]."

But Dave still thought he could tell when his partners' orgasms were genuine. "I think it's not hard to tell, especially if you know the person well enough... unless they've always, constantly been faking it, which would be, like, a horror story."

But the horror stories are common. Say you're having full–on intercourse with a guy, and he's reaching climax. You decide to match his excitement with your act. You add a little sigh and moan, a grateful kiss, and when your partner asks “Are you good?” you smile and nod.

LILY SNIDER

Read more at 34st.com

J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

9

PENNSTAGRAM

LEIGH ANN EISENHAUER (C’18) With her 1,550 followers and a self–declared “Public Figure” designation, one might assume that Leigh Ann takes her Instagram profile seriously. But Leigh Ann thinks otherwise.

“I have friends who take it super seriously, and that’s annoying,” she said. “They won’t post a picture if it doesn’t fit in their feed, even if they like the picture.”

She attributes her Instagram following to the variety of high schools she attended, which led to her being followed by people she doesn’t really know.

“I went to a boarding school and a public high school, and I’m from a really small town, so there’s a bunch of neighboring schools,” she said. “People that I don’t know from neighboring schools will follow me, or people that are way younger at my high school will follow me, plus all these people I went to boarding school with, plus I went to summer camp.”

“I’m just acquaintances with a lot of people,” she added.

In terms of her Instagram aesthetic, Leigh Ann prefers to go au natural, enjoying #NoFilter photos of scenery from hikes.

“I like taking nature pics,” she said.

MICHAEL XUFU HUANG (C’17) Michael, cofounder of the M WOODS museum in Beijing, considers Instagram important to his personal brand. And with 25.2k followers, it’s not a shock that he's serious about his profile.

Michael first joined the platform in high school. He started getting significant followers as a result of his friendship with a woman he describes as China's "It Girl."

1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017

TECH

Three students weigh in on running their popular feeds.

Since he founded of M WOODS—the “MoMA of China”—Michael has been more adamant about cultivating his profile. In China, he explained, museum–going is not as popular an activity as it is in the US. That being said, his museum has rapidly grown in popularity since its founding.

"Now it’s like every post needs to be curated,” he said.

“Our museum only started two years ago, and now it’s one of the most popular museums in China."

Michael doesn’t exclusively use the platform to showcase art; he shares bits and pieces of his daily life on his profile as well.

“For the content, I try to keep it balanced, like half art, half me and my life,” he explained. “When I post me, it gets more likes.””

GRACE XU (W’19) Grace didn’t start using Instagram until the second semester of her senior year of high school, when she got her first phone—but that doesn’t mean she’s any less of a pro.

She initially used the platform to show off her keen sense of

BOWMAN COOPER style, drawing inspiration from Instagram accounts she had seen before getting her phone.

Her Instagram now boasts 2,498 followers. "...I would say it’s like most people’s Instagrams," she said.

"It’s the highlights of my life, but not necessarily the most accurate depiction of my life.”

As for who takes those stylish photos of her posing around campus, Grace says her friends have learned to expect it.

“If I’m hanging out with someone and they know me fairly well, they’ll be pretty prepared to do it,” she said, laughing.

She chooses photos for her feed based on whether or not she likes them aesthetically, using the VSCO app to plan out the layout of her profile. Along with VSCO, Grace uses several apps to edit her photos, including Snapseed and Aviary.

Despite her well–planned, aesthetically–pleasing Instagram feed, Grace wants people to know that it doesn’t necessarily represent reality.

“I definitely don’t want people to think that that’s what my life is actually like,” she said. “I’m not nearly that stylish or having that much fun.”

WHY YOUR

TECH

UBER DRIVER

HATES YOU ANNABELLE WILLIAMS

Everyone who's anyone has puked in an Uber.

Uber is ingrained in Penn's culture. You rate drivers; they rate you. It reeks of MGMT 100. But Uber garners criticism for lack of transparency—checking your own rating is difficult and the whole process comes off as secretive.

So, Street set out to decode how to up your Uber rating.

We talked to drivers, browsed the website and heard horror stories, all to augment a figure arguably more important than your GPA. Uber recently released a list of actions that result in being banned, including sex with someone in the car, openly racist actions and physically inciting a fight. But being banned is extreme. Let’s talk about what you do that simply pisses off your driver.

We spoke with two drivers about their horror stories, how they feel about Penn students in Uber and barf. Lots of barf.

Steve and Eric both said they like how Penn students drive up business, particularly during the school year and late at night. Each driver tends to stay around campus, where he can

always find someone outside the Upper Quad gate or stumbling away from Allegro.

Eric, a part–time driver and part–time drug and alcohol counselor, laments when people hop into his car smelling of cigarettes (or worse). A few nights ago, he says, a horde of college–age boys hopped in reeking of weed. The smell lingered for a few rides after; he started to ask riders, “Do you smell that?” He's also had to console crying passengers (we’ve all been there) or witnessed arguments between couples in the backseat. Steve mentioned that once, directly after he had given a rider a five–star rating, the rider’s friend proceeded to throw up — everywhere.

But both men say they very rarely give lower than five stars.

These drivers had positive things things to say about Penn students on the whole.

College students drive up demand, they said, and tend to be respectful riders. All you need to do for that elusive five–star: be chatty, rate the driver and ask before you do anything crazy. Generally, just don’t be shitty. Or puke.

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.

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Achieving

accessibility

“I think you’re the first one, ever, at Penn, to ask me about my experience here as a person with a disability,” says Engineering senior Tanner Haldeman, trying to remember another time he was asked about his experiences and not just surface–level questions about the scooter he uses to navigate campus— questions which become grating over time. During three and–a–half years at Penn, Tanner’s experience as a student with a physical disability stemming from a neuromuscular disorder went largely “ignored.”

Few, if any, ever asked the important questions. “A lot of people,” Tanner says, “especially just walking down Locust Walk, will just glare or look at my scooter and then look at me…No, I’m not a scooter with no person on it.” It’s possible many won’t ever engage with his self–proclaimed Midwestern charm accented with a snap of his fingers, but rather a particular vision of him. For some students on Penn’s campus, the conspicuousness of a physical disability, no matter how visible it may be to 1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017

others, is juxtaposed with the invisible challenges they face, large or small.

Whether it be everyday problems like malfunctioning automated doors or more systemic issues such as the inaccessibility of off-campus life, students dealing with mobility impairments due to physical disabilities or chronic medical conditions must put in extra work to navigate a world filled with obstacles invisible to able-bodied students. As Wharton freshman Julianne Martin, who has been paralyzed from birth and uses a wheelchair, explains, “What I’ve observed is that with physical disabilities the problem is easy to see, but tough to solve.”

Tackling this reality is no doubt difficult and as Dr. Myrna Cohen, Executive Director of the Weingarten Center where Student Disability Services (SDS) is located, explains, “It’s sort of the eyes of the entire university that have to be sensitive to the needs of the student population.” Yet, Tanner’s observations pose important questions: where are Penn’s eyes? Are they looking at a wheel-

chair or a scooter, or are they looking at the people who use them?

Accessibility and Accommodations By many accounts, Penn serves students with physical disabilities well; Julianne, as a freshman not too far removed from her memories of the college search, described Penn as better than most of the colleges she toured in terms of accessibility.

While college senior Luke Hoban, who has a congenital form of muscular dystrophy, notes that student experiences with accommodations and accessibility vary, he says he is “pretty happy” with Penn’s ability to meet his needs around note–takers, classroom laptop use, testing accommodations, as well as accessible living situations and home health aides.

Behind much of the accommodations for students with physical disabilities lies SDS, which is the main point of

support for students with disabilities at Penn, physical or not. Each year SDS supports approximately 30 students across undergraduate, graduate, and professional programs with mobility impairments who are not able to “get around in conventional ways” as Director of SDS Dr. Susan Shapiro explains. This number includes both students with physical disabilities as well as chronic health conditions. Many students reach out during the college search, as Julianne did, or self–identify with SDS over the summer before the start of their time at Penn.

Generally speaking, SDS, among other services, helps assure students accessible housing and testing locations, as well as appropriate time extensions for exams. Dr. Shapiro explains that SDS’s support functions are also highly individualized, often working with “students with more significant needs” right down to the particulars of reworking a kitchen setup in college housing for a student who couldn’t turn the knobs on the stove. In Luke’s case, his room

in Harrison is outfitted with a special clicker given his inability to use a standard room key. SDS’s work, though, is almost never done; Dr. Shapiro notes the constant construction on Penn’s campus, the possibility of snow, and the sheer size of campus as just a few of the challenges in providing as accessible of a campus as possible for the student body.

You can sense the appreciation for SDS in Julianne’s voice when she humorously, but sincerely calls the disability services team “bae,” praising their helpfulness and receptiveness to student needs, which Dr. Shapiro herself emphasizes. In fact, SDS helped broker a conversation between a current student and Julianne to discuss life with a physical disability at Penn when she was still in high school.

Dr. Shapiro explains that SDS provides access for all academic and university–sponsored programs, even if it means relocating an event or installing

handicap accessible entrances to buildings. But despite SDS’s efforts, there remain accessibility issues on campus.

Tanner recalls a frustrating attempt to get into an academic building for an economics review session; heading to the back of the building where Google told him there would be an accessible entrance, he was greeted by a locked door. Using a nearby help button he was connected to the Penn police who told him he had the wrong number, leading him to call a help number on a nearby sign which appeared to be disconnected, leaving Tanner unable to attend his review session, given he was already late due to the difficulty of accessing the building in the first place. “I think that it’s a pretty fundamental right that people should be able to go into buildings,” he says. Another time, Tanner reported a maintenance issue to SDS, but was passed off to the building manager.

“SDS isn’t just isn’t a lookup service for

“NO, I'M NOT A SCOOTER WITH NO PERSON ON IT "

who’s in charge of what building,” he says. “Like I can find that on Google.”

Julianne, while noting the large amount of ramps on campus, points out that as a woman, the location of the ramps can be worrisome. “They’re all in back alleys or around the side of buildings,” she says. “I’m just like, there are no cameras, there is absolutely nothing, the lighting is horrible.” Morveover, Julianne points out that accessible entrances and ramps are often hidden or obscured, forcing her to go “under the river and through the woods” to get inside a building, while stairs always lead directly to an entrance.

While Dr. Cohen notes that accessibility of campus buildings is likely in the 90th percentile and that organizations like the Philomathean society will often move events from the wheelchair inaccessible Philomathean Hall upon request—one of the few inaccessible locations on campus—problems still arise. These are all inherent issues with, as Luke explains, “being disabled in a world that isn’t built for it.”

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10

Physically disabled students overcome academic and social obstacles

Chartering a Social Life While Wharton senior Mike Brodsky’s neuromuscular condition initially made it more challenging for him to meet frats—many are not wheelchair accessible and are not covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act as they are treated as private residences despite being on Penn property—he eventually found his home in the off–campus fraternity Theos during his junior year. Mike wanted a “normal college experience,” and he feels that he’s found it just being one of the boys in Theos.

As Mike acknowledges, his experience might be quite different from other students with physical disabilities when it comes to forming social lives.

Echoing some of Mike’s early challenges, Luke finds that social life at Penn can be frustrating due to how inaccessible many off–campus buildings at Penn are, “It’s just straight up difficult or impossible to get into a lot of the off-campus housing,” he says. While Luke has ramps in his dorm room that he can use to deal with stairs, he can’t always tell if a building is, in fact, accessible—a night out might involve him and

his friends troubleshooting with no guarantee of success, since ramps won’t always work. For Luke, “sitting in Harrison 3rd floor” isn’t his idea of fun either, but on a Thursday night Smokes' is up the stairs, which is, as Luke explains, “a bummer because I’m great at Quizzo and I would mop the floor.” Unfortunately, though, “there’s no real way to sugarcoat that, there’s no silver lining there, it just sucks,” Luke explains soberly. Mike too laments the inaccessibility of Smokes', and while he’ll gladly take the ground floor table, ideally he’d love for Smokes' to be more accessible.

Though the logistics of joining a frat prevented Tanner from going Greek freshman year, other challenges have also colored his social experiences at Penn. When introducing himself to others, Tanner recalls that people might return the introduction, but go on to ignore him otherwise—whether that’s because he’s a stranger or using a scooter he can’t say for certain. He found his social circle in the computer science department where he has worked as a teaching assistant, but notes the challenge of creating a broader casual social circle. “I don’t have a lot of friends that I’ve made

outside of computer science though,” he says, “so I think that might be a telling factor that it has put some barriers up, yeah.”

Similarly to Mike, Julianne joined Greek life and has had a positive experience thus far. Because only two out of eight of sorority houses are wheelchair accessible, Julianne met representatives from different sororities in a more intimate setting in on–campus facilities with the help of the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life. For Julianne, joining the Alpha Delta Pi sorority was about meeting people and making friends, but it also “holds people’s feet to the fire,” forcing them to get to know her or, if they avoid it, admit that it’s an issue with her disability. So far though, her new sisters have offered to help her up the chapter house stairs and carry in her wheelchair. “That’s awesome because normally I have to do most of the work in terms of how can I not inconvenience other people,” she says.

While the logistics of social life may always be more difficult for those with physical disabilities, as Mike explains, “The message I really want to get across is you shouldn’t feel discouraged from trying things because

when the weather is good.

“It’s annoying to have to feel like the sportsman all the time,” he says, “because no one’s never seen someone in a wheelchair and no one knows how to act even though everybody has and everybody just treat them It’s Not What should, like people.”

You Think “I don’t let it define me, that’s why I’m here and I Despite the difficulties think that some people, students with physical maybe if they’re more sedisabilities might face at verely disabled, they don’t Penn, they want you to have the opportunity to know they’re still doing not let it define them, but just fine. Struggles can to the extent that you can exist while students with participate in things, just disabilities live the same go for it,” says Mike. fulfilling lives as ableAs students with physibodied Penn students. cal disabilities go about “I know that the people their days, as Dr. Cohen who worry about me might say, Penn at large the most are the people should have its eyes on who know me the least, potential problems. As alright?” quips Julianne, Luke notes, it’s not about who also calls out the rushing to help him open assumption that she must a door that he can open be miserable because she himself and, as Tanner uses a wheelchair when explains, he doesn’t want that’s just not the case. to be reminded of his “You can’t control that disability all the time. any more than I can con- It’s something as small as trol my abilities.” not using the accessible Luke acknowledges that stall in the bathroom there are extra obstacles when there are several in his way. “But that others open, as Julianne doesn’t mean that I’m suggests, or letting SDS sitting around feeling know if you notice a sorry for myself the whole problem. It’s something time, because I don’t reas simple as breaking the ally know any other way ice with a question about to live besides this,” he how their day is going, says. Luke still takes walks not asking how fast their to the Delaware River wheelchair or scooter because he can. It’s nice goes.

you have a disability.” As Julianne says, everything just “takes longer” with a physical disability, including building a social life, but social life for students with physical disabilities is not nonexistent.

by ego editor michael coyne, a senior from connecticut majoring in sociology 1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017

'PATERSON'

FILM & TV

IS COOL, CALM, AND ALMOST FLAWLESS

Check this beauty off your list of "Films that Should Get Nominated for Best Picture But Probably Won't."

Paterson lives in Paterson.

He drives a city bus five days a week for a living and lives in a sweetly humble home with a tilted mailbox that he fixes upon coming home from work daily. His life is punctuated, rhythmic—mundane to the viewer but not to him.

He dabbles in poetry, penning short unrhymed lines in crabbed handwriting. His life is spun from the fabric of what he overhears on the bus, about anarchism, getting a woman's number, and other morsels of conversation. This seems to be the intent of the film, to give purpose to daily trivialities, to spotlight a poet who doesn't even like to call himself one.

The film charts exactly one week in Paterson's life, from Monday to Monday. On the weekdays, he follows the same schedule, pecking his wife on the cheek, rolling out of bed, eating Cheerios in a cup, and then walking through an industrial park of derelict brick buildings. Each day, he pens a new poem while waiting to take his route, working on it again at his lunch break. He sits under the Great Falls of Paterson (yes, the same ones that Tony Soprano threw a drug dealer into), drawing inspiration from the same sight that brought William Carlos Williams to the city to pen his epic poem Paterson. And of course, Paterson has read and loves these volumes, keeping them close–by in basement workspace.

Paterson's poems stream across the screen as he reads them aloud. He revisits them multiple times throughout his day, rereading what he's already written. He writes about his favorite brand of matches, and

the woman that he loves. This is of course his partner, Laura (played by Golshifteh Farahani), a stay–at–home dilettante.

She is loving and supportive of Paterson and encourages him to share his poems with the home. Although flighty, she means well, adorning their house with black and white patterns, packing lunches for him, and sharing her dream about having twins with him.

While Laura has the capacity to annoy the audience earlier on, it becomes clear that she is the swirling and dabbling force that Paterson needs in his life.

That being said, Paterson also recognizes his need to be away from her. Every night, he takes Laura's bulldog Marvin on a walk, tying him up outside of a local bar. He goes in and has his single mug of beer, talking with the bartender about his life, all the while catching up on what this fellow patrons are up to. He looks at the wall of photos and newspaper clippings that string the wall above the taps, the musicians, poets, and rising stars who've come from Paterson.

They contribute to the mythical feel of this working class New Jersey city, a history that Jim Jarmusch deliberately nods at his direction and writing.

There's some surprising humor in this gray comedy (it's not quite black), as Paterson jokes about Marvin getting dognapped and listens everyday as his miserable manager lists a litany of grievances after Paterson asks how he's doing. Above all, the film has a tranquilizing effect, with such low stakes that the viewer is willingly convinced that it all matters.

It is so carefully controlled in mood, that only one of the

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

final scenes feels genuinely out of place. In fact, this blatant deus ex machina is the film's main flaw, the only thing that pulls the audience out of a rapt investment in Paterson's creative process.

It is not the purpose of the

viewer to judge the quality of his poems. Adam Driver reads them with such sincerity that it would seem ruthless to try to analyze them. It is more for the audience to marvel at how the artistic spirit can grow inside someone so overlooked,

a blue–collar American. And maybe then they will leave the theater and see this same potential in everyone.

Paterson is playing in Philly now at the Ritz at the Bourse.

NICK JOYNER

$$$ GRANTS AVAILABLE FOR YOUR GROUP $$$

The Trustees’ Council of Penn Women (TCPW) is accepting applications for its Annual Grants Program and encourages members of the University community to apply.

Grants ranging from $1,000-$5,000 will be available to individuals or organizations which promote: • women’s issues • the quality of undergraduate and graduate life for women • the advancement of women • the physical, emotional and psychological well-being of women Favorable consideration will be given to projects that: • affect a broad segment of the University population • foster a greater awareness of women’s issues • provide seed money for pilot programs that have the potential to become ongoing self-supporting programs To apply, visit the TCPW website at www.alumni.upenn.edu/tcpwgrants and download the application from the grants page. Applications must be submitted no later than February 10, 2017. Awards will be announced in the Spring of 2017 and funds will be distributed in July/August 2017 for projects in the 2017-2018 academic year.

J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

FILM & TV

LOOK UP: A CLOSER LOOK AT

AMANDA PRAGER

Amanda Prager is humble— she rarely talks about herself. Street, therefore, is here to brag for her.

"It's a secret diner," Amanda Prager (C’18) says as she marches down 40th Street. “It’s like a real fucking diner, ya know?”

Amanda is always hunting for inspiration. And right now, that inspiration is Hamilton Diner, on the corner of 40th and Market. As a filmmaker, Amanda has the ability to elevate the pedestrian into art—to see everything as part of a story. To most people, the run–down diner's peeling green–grey exterior and faded yellow writing is anything but exciting. For Amanda, however, the Hamilton Diner has charm, allure and potential.

Once inside, the Hamilton Diner does reveal itself to be a so–called “real” diner. With a shiny plastic counter, rubbery blue stools and “Build Me Up Buttercup” by The Foundations playing through the tinny, metallic speakers, the place feels straight out of the 1950’s. Amanda sits down and pulls off her rain–soaked hoodie. Over two eggs sunny side up, grits and a side of

bacon, Amanda tells me a little bit about herself.

Apart from starting Opia (a film club that brings together cinematographers, actors and producers from across campus; read Street's piece about it here), she's involved with many other campus organizations: The Undergraduate Media and Entertainment Club, Penn Lens, Jazz and Grooves and Chi Omega, to name a few.

In fact, Street has already covered several of her more recent projects, including a music video for Magdalena Bay and a documentary about online dating within the Jewish community. She spent last summer in Cannes working as a distribution intern for Other Angle Pictures, a French film company, and attended the Cannes Film Festival. Alongside the CEO of the com-

pany, Amanda experienced the business side of the industry first–hand.“They were dropping hundred thousand dollar to million dollar deals and I was right next to them,” she explains as she animatedly strips the fat from her bacon, crunching on the crispy parts.

Majoring in Cinema Studies and English, Amanda is also a Consumer Psychology minor––which has come in handy throughout her artistic career.

Through her experience at Cannes, her minor and some of the Wharton Media programs she’s participated in, Amanda has developed a good sense for the economic side of film. But Amanda’s true passion lies behind the camera.

Her accomplishment speak for themselves: Amanda's 2016 short film, No Whammies, won her second place in the 48 hour Ivy Film Festival; she was

a 2015 Horizon Award Finalist.

She was also on a student team of videographers and interviewers working on the 2016 documentary, The Hunting Ground, which focused on campus sexual assault cases. The film was short–listed for an Academy Award for Best Feature Documentary, nominated for Best Motion Picture and won the Producers Guild of America 2016 Stanley Kramer Award (visit the website here).

It's tough to get Amanda to talk about herself. But when she stars talking about one of her earliest films, Look Up, her cheeks flush and her words flow. The project was "the most significant thing that made me realize that film could be a career of mine," she explains while popping the yellow yolks of her eggs. “I made it when I was a sophomore in high school because my town was having a film festival, and I was like maybe I’ll try to win this, or at least come in fifth.”

When she and her friend, co–producer and co–director, Jake Oleson, submitted their film to the Millburn Film Festival, Amanda was shocked.

“We won with flying colors,” she says. The film went on to garner national attention.

"The people at Millburn were like, 'You need to send

this other places.' I didn’t know what the heck I was doing," Amanda says. I sent it to about 50 festivals, and it got in at about 50 festivals… It won the Hartland Film Festival, best narrative short of WHYY Youth Media… All of a sudden, it grew to be this huge thing, this sort of sensation.”

Amanda acknowledges that writing is emotionally exhausting and something that she does day–in and day–out. She strives to create every day, even if it’s just in a small way.“I wake up every morning, and I write for three pages––just to get it out," she says. Amanda admits that she doesn’t like most of what she produces.

“95 percent of what you write is going to be awful–– every single time––and you have to accept that. And that’s why you have to write more, because that five percent will keep getting a little bigger… you're going to get better."

MICHELLE PEREIRA

Read more at 34st.com 1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017

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ARTS

THE DOCTOR IS READY TO

SEE YOU Pseudo–Medicine in Old City COLIN LODEWICK

Image: "Doctor" Emma Sulkowicz at The Healing Touch Wellness Center. Photo: Emily Belshaw, 2017

In the waiting room of the Healing Touch Integral Wellness Center in Old City, I hold a pen to a diagram of the human body with the instruction to label the site of my emotional pain. I do, and then I continue to answer the rest of the questions on the medical forms I’m filling out. Am I pleased with the number or intimacy of my personal relationships? Do I consume any caffeinated beverages? What was the last work of art to make me cry?

Did crying help?

Moments after I submit these forms, a quiet receptionist motions to me and says, “The doctor is ready to see you.”

She leads me through the doors of the waiting room into a large hall lined with benches against walls punctuated by anatomical drawings.

Walking through it to the single room at the end has a feeling of heaviness and finality. I’m here without

knowing much of what to expect and I’m skeptical of what’s to come and whether whatever does might help me.

The receptionist falls back and motions me forward, and as I enter the room I’m greeted warmly by my doctor: Emma Sulkowicz.

"I haven’t done this with anyone yet,” she says, “but if you could just lay on the bed and close your eyes for a minute, that would be great.”

Emma Sulkowicz is an artist. She’s most popularly known for her Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight) (2014–15), which served as her senior thesis as a Visual Arts major at Columbia. For the entirety of her senior year, she carried a mattress with her at all times.

The piece garnered both positive and negative criticism and served to address the artist’s own experience with sexual assault and the largely lukewarm response to campus assault in general. Now, two

1 8 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017

years after her graduation, Emma is installed in Philadelphia with Philadelphia Contemporary as Pseudo–Doctor Sulkowicz.

The office is arranged more like a still life of a clinic than a functioning doctor's office.

In one corner, a blooming peace lily sits propped on a platform.

Against another wall, a table with a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues.

The patient bed is covered with a layer of paper similar to that found in actual medical offices, but it seems more translucent, less substantial.

After I lie there in silence for a minute, I straighten up and begin my session. Emma sits across from me holding a pad of yellow paper, already half– full of notes.

The Healing Touch Integral

Wellness Center, which is open Friday to Monday from 10 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. until January 29, is an experiment in desire. In setting up and attending a session (which, for students, costs fifteen dollars and thirty for anyone else), one is confronted with questions of want. What do I want to gain from this experience? What do I want to discuss? Of what do I want to be healed? The practice, in this sense, is intensely meditative and reflective.

It looks at the relationship between art and life and decentralizes the role of the artist, instead focusing inherently on that of the participant.

In the thirty minutes that follow, Emma and I discuss more than I expected we would. She probes deep into

my past and current relationships, my feelings about myself and significant events in my life. Her questions are carefully formed and her comments are incisive, but her frequent pauses make it clear that she’s not really a trained medical professional, and instead someone just recently graduated from college.

In a way it feels like going to see a psychic – I made myself vulnerable to her, a stranger, for a full half hour, and absorbed her thoughts and advice and interpretations.

When finished, I'm left to piece together the significance of her words. And because she's just a stranger and has no obligation to be strictly professional, the meeting feels strangely like talking with an old friend.

After thanking her and leaving her office, I do feel lighter. Not cured (whatever that might mean), but certainly glad that I had come.

ARTS

PENN STUDENTS COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES TOO Nothing makes a college kid smile like a crayon… except well maybe a few other things.

LAUREN DONATO For many Penn students, the turnout of the 2017 presidential election felt as if a grey pencil washed out College Hall’s green and all of our campus's color. With the prospect of Trump’s America paining him as he left for winter break, Stephen Damianos (C'19), a strong campaigner for Hillary Clinton, found an adult–coloring app. Although Stephen used to poke fun at his mom for loving coloring books, he soon became “slightly addicted to it.” He realized that coloring was “very relaxing, but a little stressful when [he] colored outside of the lines.” Stephen is not alone in this feeling. The pressure at Penn to always be doing something productive makes it difficult for students to relax, unwind and “color outside the lines” in their own lives. Stephen urges his peers to “take care of themselves and find healthy and safe ways to do that…and if for some people coloring is a colorful and safe way to get away from the insanity of the America we now live in, then I think that is a really great thing.”

As you walk into various stores, you may notice that adult coloring books line more shelves than they have in the past. Michael's, Target and Barnes & Nobles now stock more coloring books than they previously have, due to their high popularity; Michael’s previously had 150 titles on shelves in 2016 and promises even more variety in 2017. If

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons. there are bigger issues to be solved in the world, why are adults spending time filling in swirly shapes on a piece of paper or tablet? One answer is that taking a break from the complexity of those big issues—even just to color—is essential for mental health.

Medical Daily says that, coloring places the brain in a meditative state and can alleviate high stress and anxiety levels.

Focusing on the present while coloring allows one to achieve mindfulness and promotes creation over consumption.

Art therapy techniques such as coloring can also aid individuals with conditions such as depression, anxiety and PTSD. In a study, scholar Linda Adeniyi discovered that group art therapy interventions were effective with adult female victims of sexual violence. Coloring helped victims to gain control, support, and understanding of symptoms.

“My therapist recommended that I try adult coloring books when I was trying to overcome my PTSD from being sexually assaulted," said Bella* (C‘19).

"At the time of assault, I was empty and did not know where to turn for purpose, really.

Actively doing something creative that was also so colorful allowed me to create beautiful things using my body and was a bright alternative to passively hurting."

The variety of options to choose from when selecting an adult coloring book are

endless—they're even sold at the Penn Bookstore. Alexis Kalargheros (N ’18) loves her Harry Potter edition coloring book from the bookstore.

During finals, she would color between exams she had on the same day and said the experience was “very relaxing and calming and prepared [her] for

her next exam.” The bookstore sells numerous adult coloring books with different themes including: The Chronicles of Narnia official coloring book, Animals of the World coloring book, Magical Creatures edition and more. There are even planners and calendars for sale (now 50% off!) that offer

a calming stencil for every day of the year, as well as postcards to snail–mail to distant friends and family. We all know days at Penn could use a little mindfulness, even if you have to swap your G–cal for a coloring book. *Names have been changed for anonymity.

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ARTS

PHOTOGRAPHS MADE AUDIBLE Landscape / Soundscape: Sound artists respond to photographs from Penn’s University Art Collection LINDA LIN

Andrew Moore, Imagination Station, 2008.

Courtesy of Arthur Ross Gallery

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The quietest spot on campus just got a little louder.

From now until March 26, when you walk into Fisher Fine Arts Library you might be able to catch some musical notes from the Arthur Ross Gallery by the entrance. This is Landscape / Soundscape, the sixth in the series of collaborative exhibitions between the gallery and Office of the Curator that highlights Penn’s University Art Collection. Exploring the intersection between the visual and the auditory, the installations exemplify the potential of photography to convey a sense of sound.

As Heather Gibson Moqtaderi, Associate Curator and Collections Manager for the University Art Collection, wrote in the wall text, “Landscape photographs are replete with signifiers of sound...Sound art, likewise, has the capacity to evoke a sense of place.” Ten pairs of commissioned soundscape compositions and photographs from the University Art Collection fill the gallery space.

Moqtaderi explains, “Eugene (Director of Sound and Music Technology and Lecturer in Electronic Music and Recording) and I...were looking at sound artists whom we were familiar with that seem to have a similar quality we found in the photograph...That’s how we matched them up.”

With the abstract and non– material quality of the sounds and the ambient quality of the headphones next to each installation, gallery visitors can easily enter into a flow state, where there are only the tones, the scenery and the self. The works on view are organized by natural vistas, man–made natural spaces and cityscapes.

Meanwhile, the corresponding soundscapes were produced by a broad spectrum of sound artists and musicians, from those

working with field recordings and electronics to noted instrumental performers.

Some artists interpret the photographs on a personal level and created accompanying musical pieces in a traditional sense. Composer, producer and performer Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith responded to photographer Eliot Porter’s Clouds Forming over Mount Baker from personal experiences, but her message transmits universally. Growing up seeing Mount Baker from her house and imagining what it would be like to hike to the top, Smith uses joyful notes in gradual tempo to mimic the feeling of accomplishment of standing at the peak. The vastness of the mountains in the photograph further gives viewers the mental space to wander. The eyes and the ears combine to produce an immersive experience.

In another part of the exhibit, Nadia Botello, sound artist and experimental composer, and Sarah Angliss, composer and sound historian, worked from the sense of mystery and absence in the photographs to compose pieces. In Untitled, Botello uses monotonous and steamy sound effects to evoke the bottomlessness of the imagery of a single cloud. An intermittent thunder–like sound seems to exacerbates feeling of the unknown. Equally uncanny is Angliss’s Not Imagined for Erica Lennard’s long–exposure photograph Villa Lante. The resulting blurry effect is dreamlike and ambiguous. The tension between absence and fleeting appearance and between the familiar and the unpredictable evoked by the photograph is partly captured in the sound piece’s peculiar whisper on repeat: “...it is within me, as without me.”

Read more at 34st.com

LOWBROW

TRUMP HOTEL PLANNED TO REPLACE VAN PELT LIBRARY IN 2018

Trump reps have yet to confirm whether Mark's Cafe sushi will be sold in the lobby.

In a press release this morning, President Amy Gutmann announced that Van Pelt will be torn down and replaced with a Trump Hotel and Golf Course.

The announcement came as a surprise, given that Van Pelt is the biggest and most popular library on campus.

President Gutmann did not seem worried, though, stating, "Everyone downloads books illegally these days, anyway.” The hotel will be 25 stories tall with a rooftop pool. Every room will be equipped with KGB hidden cameras and full wiretapping technology. There are also

plans to replace the statue of Benjamin Franklin with a gold–plated one of President Trump.

Several students burst into tears when asked to comment on this change. Some, however, looked forward to a new housing option on campus.

“Don’t get me wrong—I love Domus, but this is so much more convenient. The whole student body will benefit,” a Wharton sophomore said.

Is there anything students will miss about Van Pelt? The most common answers were “the 6th floor bathroom,” and “a reliable place to find Adderall."

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.

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2 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017

UNCONFIRMED REPORTS SAY SEARCH OF WHITE HOUSE REVEALED

BOOBY TRAP SET FOR TRUMP BY BIDEN

Oh Joe, what will we do with you?

At exactly 12:01 p.m. last Friday, the frantic five–hour process to move Barack Obama out and Donald Trump into the White House began.

While President Trump hailed the move as “a great success” and “the single best move in moving history,” sources close to the White House reveal that there was at least one problem with the move—and that it was likely caused by former Vice President Joe Biden.

The source, who agreed to speak with Street on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak on the matter, said, “The moving crew was transferring a chest of drawers out of President Obama’s bedroom, and when the piece of furniture was disturbed, the drawers flew open, showering the moving crew in feathers and silly

string.”

The source added that after the feathers settled, a small piece of poster board was left at the bottom of the drawer, reading, “Left some Doritos in the medicine cabinet for you, JERK!” The Trump administration does not suspect that President Obama was behind the prank.

“This just seems like something that’s more Vice President Biden’s style," the source added.

When asked about the plant late last night, Vice President Biden said, “Did he open it?

No? Dang it, I wanted to see the look on his face.”

Only time will tell if Biden will continue his less–than– subtle hijinks when he "sets up shop" at Penn in the near future.

LOWBROW

IF DONALD TRUMP WERE ON

Here at Penn, we're really proud of our alumni network. ​

DEAR MR. TRUMP, My name is Laura Tinsley, and I am a junior in the College studying Political Science with a concentration in National Destruction at the University of Pennsylvania. Go Quakers! I found your information on QuakerNet, and I saw that you work in the field I want to go into. I thought I might reach out for some advice.

Last summer, I interned for my father's hedge fund, which I loved even though I had no qualifications to get the job. Even so, I still got it, and I also got to help people fuck around with money. From what I've read in the Penn Gazette, it seems like you and I are pretty similar! This summer, however, I'm really looking to push myself even further.

I am currently fulfilling my minor in Russian, so I would love to hear your opinion on whether or not I should go abroad there. I just applied for the Penn–in–Moscow summer espionage program, which I see you have funded! I was hoping you might actually be able to write me a recommendation. I know I'm really Putin myself out there.

Overall, I'm really just looking for general advice about how to become a democratically–elected dictator. If you do have any time to talk, or even tweet, I would really appreciate it. Hope the White House is as fun as the Quad!

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

Sincerely,

LAURA TINSLEY Photo credit: Creative Commons, QuakerNet

LOWBROW IS FAKE, LIKE THE PHONE CALLS YOU PRETEND TO TAKE WHEN YOU SEE YOUR BUMBLE MATCHES WALKING TOWARDS YOU ON LOCUST. WHAT, JUST US? J A N U A R Y 2 6 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 2 3

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