Positive Parenting Mag - Free - August 2017 - ed 37

ed’s letter Hello my lovely readers

ABOUT US www.childoftheuniverse.co.za

PUBLISHER 2Luni Media EDITOR Linda Navon 071 346 8138 linda@childoftheuniverse.co.za OUR “Little Boss” Carmen Ché Jardim SUB–EDITOR, NATIONAL SALES & MARKETING Cj Stott Matticks 082 900 1010 candida@childoftheuniverse.co.za DISTRIBUTION & RESEARCH Lee Coulter WRITER Dani Jardim dani@childoftheuniverse.co.za

Wow, this last month has been a challenge of note – for the past 6 years July has been a very difficult month for me and my family as it includes the anniversary of the passing of my son, plus many other un-enjoyable dates.

So, bottom line is, I am exhausted, mentally and physically – and I hear from many of my friends and colleagues that they are feeling this overwhelming tiredness as well. We have been bouncing around ideas as to trying new high energy foods, changing routines, crying in our cars, screaming out the lyrics to your favourite songs, also in your cars when nobody can hear how off-key you are…. And many other forms of dealing with the stress.

Thankfully we are fast approaching Spring, and that makes my heart smile, just the thought of not being too cold to get up in the mornings.

Next edition we will be looking at the very serious issue of the stress our school kids are under with exams coming up – especially our matric students. I heard a shocking statistic on the radion earlier this evening about teen suicide so we will be passing on important information for parents and teachers to look out for.

PHOTOGRAPHER Edward Jardim

On a happier note, there are many new projects, shows, outings and getaways coming up that we can enjoy in the lovely South African sun that we are so blessed with.

CONTACT NUMBERS TEL: (011) 462-2900 0110 262 643 0110 468 737

For now people, ‘vasbyt’ as they say in Afrikaans, the sun is on its way.

Thank you for all the letters of praise for our magazines from our readers, and please feel free to pass these mags on to your families and friends.

DISCLAIMER:

The views expressed in this publication are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the editor, advertisers or endorsers. While every effort has been made to ensure that the contents of this publication are both accurate and truthful, the publisher and editor accept no responsibility for inaccurate or misleading information that may be contained herein.

. Much Love

Linda

contents BABIES & BEYOND Momma Meet Up’s with Lisa Raleigh 9 Common Questions about Breast Milk Acupuncture treatment for Fertility PEACEFUL PARENTING What Teens need to know abut becoming an Adult Sibling Rivalry – It need not drive you crazy Discovering my son and his girlfriend in his bed!

Raising Strong Girls and Compassionate Boys Three quick ways to reduce Stress Tips on Saving Fuel Childhood Cancer – Awareness and Early Detection Horse Riding and Swimming lessons for all ages Games to get your kids talking: • Raising kids positively • The Magic Mat: Developing healthy loving children

YUMMY TUMMY Food Facts Cooking with Kids ANIMAL WORLD Helping your Kid deal with the death of a Pet The Big C and our pets GOOD THINGS GUY – Animal Stories REACH OUT Husky Romi Wolf Sanctuary CHOC – Children with Cancer OUT & ABOUT Camps, shows, markets and eating out

Breast milk is loaded with exactly the right nutrients in the exact amounts a new baby needs. Research shows that breast milk is not merely nutritious, but it contains a variety of factors with medicinal qualities that have profound roles in infant survival and health.

Although the industry continues to attempt to approve infant formula with the addition of compounds, such as fatty acids, oligosaccharides, nucleotides and lactoferrin, breast milk has such far-reaching effects on the infant’s immune response that optimal development depends heavily on its actions. It contains many hundreds to thousands of distinct bioactive molecules that protect against infection and inflammation and contribute to immune maturation, organ development and promotion of a healthy microbiome. (1) For this reason, all mothers should be encouraged and supported to continue breastfeeding for six months and beyond in order to promote the good health of their infants.

Of course, I know most mothers have questions regarding breast milk and breastfeeding, so below I answer nine of the most common questions I hear about breast milk.

9 Common Questions About Breast Milk 1.

How long should I breastfeed?

According to research published in Pediatric Clinics in North America, exclusive human milk feeding for the first six months of life, with continued breastfeeding for one to two years of life or longer, is recognized as the standard for infant feeding.

2. What should I eat to boost the nutritional content of my breast milk?

Studies have found that the fatty acid profile of breast milk varies in relation to maternal diet, particularly when mothers eat too many omega-6 fatty acids and not enough omega-3 fatty acids. Eat lots of omega-3 foods, such as chia seeds, flaxseeds, walnuts, wild-caught salmon, tuna and egg yolks. Balance your omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acid consumption by reducing the amount of meat, dairy products, peanut oil, soybean oil, safflower oil and sesame oil you consume daily. (2)

3. Do breastfed babies need to take vitamins?

Vitamin K is typically given to newborns in their first days of life, and deficiencies of other vitamins (except vitamin D) are rare, especially if mothers are nourished adequately. Because the vitamins and minerals in breast milk vary depending on a mother’s diet and body stores, researchers suggest that mothers continue to take multivitamins during lactation.

Vitamin D levels are low in breast milk, particularly for moms who get little exposure to sunshine, so pediatricians recommend that breastfed infants are given a liquid vitamin D supplement in order to avoid a vitamin D deficiency. These supplements usually contain large amounts of the water-soluble and fat-soluble vitamins that meet the recommended daily allowances for your baby. (3)

4. How do I store breast milk?

Many mothers pump when they return to work and nurse at night and on the weekends; some decide to exclusively pump too. Many employed moms choose to use the fresh milk they pump at work for feedings the next day, and they refrigerate Friday’s milk for use on Monday (if they have the weekends off).

It’s normal for pumped milk to vary in color, consistency and scent depending on the mother’s diet. You may also notice that stored milk separates into layers, and the cream rises to the top.

Before feeding the baby this stored milk, gently swirl the warmed bottle to mix the layers again, but do not shake the bottle.

Small amounts of cooled breast milk can be added to the same refrigerated container throughout the day, but avoid adding warm milk to already cooled milk. When you store milk in the freezer, leave room in the storage bag because liquids expand when frozen, and write the dates on the bags and use the oldest milk first.

5. How long can I store breast milk?

It’s safe to store mother’s milk in the following ways:  At room temperature for four to six hours (66–78 degrees Fahrenheit)  In a cooler with frozen ice packs for 24 hours (59 degrees Fahrenheit)  In the refrigerator for three to six days (39 degrees Fahrenheit or lower)  In the freezer for six to 12 months (0–4 degrees Fahrenheit) Storing breast milk this way does not increase the possibility of bacterial contamination and growth of infectious pathogens in stored milk. However, the nutritional value of breast milk may be altered.

Research published in the Archives of Disease in Childhood Fetal and Neonatal Edition indicates that store time should be limited to 48 hours in order to preserve the antioxidant activity of breast milk. Freezing breast milk resulted in a greater decrease of antioxidants than refrigeration.

Researchers in Spain tested refrigerated and frozen breast milk over a 90-day period. They found that by three months from freezing breast milk, there’s a relevant and significant decline in the concentration of fat and energy content. The modification of total nitrogen and lactose was not constant and at lower magnitudes when breast milk was frozen. (6) Based on this research, I suggest that you use your frozen stash of breast milk for emergencies or to use when your baby begins eating solids that supply her with the nutrients she needs. When your baby begins eating a combination of foods at around six months of age, you can add frozen breast milk to smoothies or purees.

6. Does breast milk lose nutritional value when it’s stored for later use?

According to research published in the International Breastfeeding Journal, bottle systems that are used to deliver expressed breast milk may reduce the concentration of vitamin C to less than 40 percent of the recommended daily intake for infant. The study included the analysis of four bottle systems that were sampled after 20 minutes of milk expression.

Research published in the Journal of Health, Population and Nutrition suggests that there’s a significant difference in the total antioxidant count of expressed breast milk after refrigeration and freezing when compared to the antioxidant count at zero hour. This includes a decline in vitamins C, A and E.

7. How do I heat or thaw breast milk?

Do not microwave breast milk. Microwaving breast milk changes its composition, and it can cause severe burns to the baby’s mouth because of hot spots that develop in the milk.

Thawed milk is safe in the refrigerator for 24 hours, but don’t refreeze milk once it’s thawed. If you need to thaw milk more quickly, run it under warm water or leave it in a sealed container or bottle in a bowl of warm water for about 20 minutes until it reaches body temperature.

To warm milk that’s been stored in the refrigerator, it can be kept out at room temperature for three to six hours or placed in a bowl of warm water.

8. Does alcohol affect breast milk?

Most mothers can drink in moderation while breastfeeding. According to La Leche League, it takes a 120-pound woman about three hours to eliminate the majority of the alcohol from her blood (and thus her milk) in each serving of beer or wine, so multiply the number of drinks you have by three to know how many hours it will take until your milk is mostly alcohol-free again.

There’s no need to “pump and dump” every time you drink alcohol, as long as you’re able to wait before breastfeeding again.

9. Does caffeine affect breast milk?

A 2012 study published in Pediatrics suggests that caffeine consumption during pregnancy and by nursing mothers does not have consequences on sleep of infants at the age of 3 months. In the study, infants until 3 months of age were unable to metabolize caffeine when mothers drank about three cups of coffee per day. However, other studies show that some infants can be sensitive to caffeine and display increased irritability and sleep disturbances when exposed to caffeine from breast milk.

I recommend that mothers drink caffeine in moderation and make sure they drink plenty of water throughout the day as well — both in order to stay hydrated and avoid caffeine overdose.

Breast Milk Nutrition The first fluid produced by mothers after delivery is called colostrum.

Colostrum is one of the most vital ingredients in breast milk, and it’s what is often referred to as “liquid gold.” It’s a thicker, yellowish breast milk that’s made in the later stages of pregnancy. Colostrum is loaded with nutrients and antibodies to give your baby exactly what she needs in her first days of life. After three days or so, the body naturally begins to make mature milk, which contains an ideal combination of protein, sugar, water and fat.

Mature breast milk contains, on average, 1.1 percent protein, 4.2 percent fat and 7 percent carbohydrate; it supplies 72 calories of energy per 100 grams. Fat is the most highly variable macronutrient in milk. Hindmilk, which is the last milk of a feed, may contain two to three times the concentration of milk fat found in foremilk, the initial milk of a feed. This is why mothers are commonly advised to empty an entire breast prior to feeding from the other breast. As hindmilk is more energy-dense due to its higher fat content, this recommendation ensures that the infant’s satiety and energy needs for growth are met.

Antibodies are also a vital part of the mother’s breast milk. Antibodies protect your vulnerable newborn from both viral and bacterial infections. According to a 2002 study published in Breastfeeding Review, infant formula-feeding is inferior to breastfeeding because human milk enhances the immature immunologic system of the infant and strengthens her defense mechanisms against infective and other foreign agents. Researchers indicate that there are bioactive factors in human milk, such as hormones, growth factors and colony-stimulating factors, as well as specific nutrients. Mother’s milk may also reduce the incidence of disease in infancy, and factors in breast milk promote gastrointestinal mucosal maturation, decrease the incidence of infection, alter gut microflora, and have immune-boosting and anti-inflammatory functions.

Breast milk also has antioxidant properties. It contains vitamin C and E and enzymes, including superoxide dismutase, catalase and glutathione peroxidase. Research suggests that all factors, conditions and problems affecting infants, especially those born prematurely, are the outcomes of one unifying disease — oxygen radical disease. If there are too many free radicals produced and too few antioxidants, a condition of oxidative stress develops, which may cause serious damage in infancy. A need to reduce oxidative stress and boost antioxidant defenses in these vulnerable infants is essential.

How to Increase Breast Milk Supply Many mothers fear that they aren’t making enough breast milk for their babies and are looking for natural ways to increase breast milk supply. There are some potential causes of low milk supply that should be addressed before you stress out about taking action to increase your supply (which may already be fine). The golden rule when breastfeeding is that nursing is a supply and demand process. If you’re supplementing with formula, then you won’t make enough breast milk because your body doesn’t know that it’s needed. Scheduled feedings may also interfere with your supply and demand cycle and can lead to a reduced supply, so try to nurse your baby whenever she’s hungry.

To establish your supply when the baby is very young, nurse her about every two hours during the day and every four hours at night, and use both breasts. Frequent feedings ensure that your breasts are stimulated enough to establish a full milk supply. The more milk that’s removed from your breasts, the more milk your body will produce. Supply issues may be caused by the baby not latching properly (which can be due to sleepiness, being used to the bottle or use of nipple shields), so seek advice from a lactation counselor if you think this may be the issue.

Adding pumping sessions after nursing sessions can also be helpful, especially if your baby isn’t eating frequently enough. If you’re working and need to pump milk for your baby, plan to pump your milk two to three times while you’re away from your baby. Each day’s pumping should provide enough milk for the next day’s time at day care or with a sitter.

Galactogogues (like fenugreek, blessed thistle and alfalfa) are used to increase breast milk production, but researchers suggest that this should only be done when all nonpharmacologic recommendations are exhausted. The efficacy and safety data regarding galactogogues use is limited, and more studies are needed to evaluate the herbs’ effects on breast milk production.

Flora force fenugreek ad

The folklore that alcohol consumption enhances milk supply has persisted for centuries, but studies show that this isn’t true. In fact, a study conducted at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia suggests that infants consumed, on average, 23 percent less milk following their mothers’ consumption of alcoholic beer relative to the nonalcoholic beer. This decrease in milk intake was not due to a decrease in the number of times the babies fed but because the babies ingested less milk during each feeding.

Lastly, don’t overlook your own needs — mothers need to eat healthy and nourishing foods (like these superfoods) in order to produce enough breast milk, and they need to hydrate, relax and get enough rest (whenever possible!). Take time for yourself at some point during the day, and be confident in your body and its ability to make what your baby needs in terms of nutrition.

Final Thoughts on Breast Milk      

Breast milk is loaded with exactly the right nutrients in the exact amounts a new baby needs.

Colostrum is loaded with nutrients and antibodies to give your baby exactly what she needs in her first days of life. After three days or so, the body naturally begins to make mature milk, which contains an ideal combination of protein, sugar, water and fat.

Antibodies are also a vital part of the mother’s breast milk. Antibodies protect your vulnerable newborn from both viral and bacterial infections.

Breast milk also has antioxidant properties; it contains vitamin C and E and enzymes, including superoxide dismutase, catalase and glutathione peroxidase.

There are a number of ways to increase breast milk supply naturally, but the golden rule is that nursing is a supply and demand process.

There are certain rules to follow when pumping and storing expressed milk to ensure that you reduce bacterial growth and maximize the nutritional content in breast milk.

Acupuncture for Fertility

By Dr Lynda Thompson

Acupuncture is an increasingly popular choice to support those experiencing difficulty in falling pregnant or undergoing assisted conception. Acupuncture aims to help correct imbalances within the body, on both an emotional and a physical level. The women whom I’ve treated have all found acupuncture to be very relaxing during a time that can be exceedingly stressful. Herbal medicine can be used alongside acupuncture to maximise these benefits.

There are many aspects to falling pregnant: ◾Understanding your fertility ◾Assessing your fertility ◾A women’s fertility ◾A man’s fertility ◾Is your lifestyle affecting your fertility?

Getting ready: preparing your mind and body for pregnancy ◾Managing your emotions ◾Your relationship ◾Nutrition ◾Acupuncture

If you’re not getting pregnant naturally ◾Investigations for women and men ◾Treatment options

Assisted conception and IVF

I believe that a multi-disciplinary view on fertility, encompassing conventional and complementary medicine, ensures a holistic approach where every aspect of the body is considered and addressed.

When you are choosing a complementary medicine therapy, spend some time researching what is available and what best suits your needs. In my experience, everyone has some aspect of his or her life that is out of balance (lifestyle, emotional, physical, work or home). You will need to find a practitioner that you are comfortable with and that you can foster a trusting relationship with.

Acupuncture and other complementary medicines can offer a lot of support to women trying to conceive, whether naturally or through assisted fertility treatment. In recent years, the medical profession has become more open to accepting acupuncture as the research and evidence base increases.

If you would like to find out more about acupuncture, fertility and / or pregnancy and how our sessions are structured please contact our rooms.

lynda@lyndathompson.co.za +27 21 250 0205

20 Things Teens Need to Know About How to be an Adult

Being a parent at any stage in life is not easy – especially when you’re parenting children who are on the cusp of adulthood.

It’s that ambiguous, awkward, and terrifying place where you’re not quite an adult, yet no longer a child. The time when life is both full of wonder and endless possibilities, and full of heartbreaking emotional truths.

I think back to that time – way back – when I had my whole life ahead of me. I couldn’t wait to be out on my own, making my own decisions and conquering the world. I thought I had it all figured out at age 20. How wrong I was.

Yes, I had my independence, but not nearly enough life experience to keep me from falling down more times than I really want to admit. I wish I knew what I know now – I could have had fewer bruises and scrapes to deal with.

It has taken me 40-some years, countless mistakes, and a whole lot of Band-Aids to figure out that most of life’s lessons are simply common sense. But when you’re a young 20-year-old girl looking at the big, wide, terrifying, and exciting world in front of you, common sense sometimes goes right out the window.

What I want for my daughter and son to know as they navigate their early adult life, is that life can be full of beautiful experiences. Life itself is neither positive or negative; it is what each of them will put into it and how they respond to situations that will make their lives seem good or bad.

My children need to learn that two people can be put through the same situation, yet each will respond in dramatically different ways. They need to realize they have the final choice in how they respond or react to what life throws at them. When they stumble (and they will), I want them to know it’s okay to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and continue on their journey.

I want them to always remember these 20 bits of wisdom – and to call home every once in a while: 1 | Life is not fair.

Life is life. Even when you do everything right, sometimes things will not work out the way you planned. Someone else might get that promotion or opportunity you should have gotten. Some people are born into this world with everything at their disposal and some are born into unfortunate situations. It may not seem fair, but life rarely is. You don’t have the power to control everything that happens to you, but you have the power to control how you react to the unfairness in life.

2 | If you want to be an adult, then act like an adult and tackle adult responsibilities.

Adulthood has many freedoms, but with each freedom there is an equal responsibility to go along with it. In adulthood, you will have to do things you don’t want to and deal with things you don’t want to deal with. Learn to accept this and you will always have clean laundry and money to pay your bills.

3 | Growth doesn’t stop when you become an adult.

Being an adult and reaching your full potential means constantly learning and growing. Embrace learning something new every day, challenge yourself to go beyond what you think is possible and be willing to adopt new life philosophies. Twenty years from now, you will want to have grown rich with life experiences and wisdom.

4 | If you make a mess, learn to clean it up.

I’m not talking about household chores (but yes, you should clean up your messes and make your bed). I’m talking more about taking responsibility for your mistakes. We all make mistakes, but taking personal responsibility for them and making amends is what allow us to mature.

5 | Opportunities don’t fall in your lap, but they are always placed within your reach.

It’s up to you to take action and reach out to grab on to every opportunity.

6 | There is a difference between “can’t” and “won’t.”

Can you or won’t you? Won’t means you are choosing not to do something you can or will be able to learn eventually. Ask yourself – and be honest – is it something you simply don’t want to do, or is it something you truly do not have the skills to accomplish? Change the “won’t” to “will” and you’ll see that you actually can.

7 | Successful people will do things that unsuccessful people will not.

If you’re not willing to do the work or do what is necessary to be successful, then you never will be. If something is truly worth having (that degree, a new business, a healthier body, etc.) and you want it bad enough, no excuse or road block will keep you from reaching your goal.

8 | Allow yourself to have experiences. Try everything and don’t be afraid to fail.

If you’ve never tried something, how do you know you don’t like it? Some of life’s greatest moments will happen when you say “yes.” Fear of failure will keep you from acting on opportunities that could lead to success. Even if you fail, you will learn valuable life lessons that will give you the experience to succeed at something else.

9 | What you focus on, you will attract.

You have the power to attract what you want. If you want a positive life, focus on everything that is positive.

10 | Be that someone.

Don’t wait around for someone else to do something, take action and be that someone.

11 | Do something kind every day.

When you are kind to others, kindness is returned to your life.

12 | Be grateful.

There is always something to be grateful for. The more grateful you are about what you have, the less you will need to actually be happy.

13 | Everyone has a bad moment or day, never let any situation define your outlook on life.

Remember everyone has good moments too.

14 | It’s okay to cry.

Even the strongest people will reach their breaking point and need to let it all out. Allow yourself to experience this moment and know that it is okay to cry and to feel pain. When the moment passes, remind yourself that with any storm, there is always an end and the skies will turn sunny again.

15 | Never be ashamed of your past or a mistake you’ve made.

You can’t change the past, but you must learn from it. Don’t let shame rule your life, nearly everyone has done something they wish they could change.

16 | Learn to forgive yourself and others.

We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving gives you the freedom to let go of negative feelings so that you can move forward with a healthy mind.

17 | Take care of yourself.

You are only given one body, take care of it.

Wear sunscreen, eat healthy, exercise, get regular check-ups, allow yourself a down day, meditate. When you are middle-aged or beyond, you will be thankful.

18 | Be passionate about something.

Have a hobby; embrace life. Passion is the fuel for a positive life and makes you more interesting to others.

19 | Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

Everyone has their own talents, abilities, and life to deal with. Focus on being a better you and not on how you “rank� with others. You will live a much happier life if you remember this.

20 | Most importantly, remember that you are worthy of love and have so much to offer the world.

Never allow anyone to treat you poorly or convince you that you do not matter. You were born for a purpose and to leave this earth better off than when you arrived.

Paulette is a writer, entrepreneur, wife, and mother of two nearly-grown children. Her writing is inspired by life, family, travel, and adventure and the art of trying to keep it all balanced without falling down.

Sibling Rivalry Doesn’t Have to Drive You Crazy

By Aline Weiller Whether it’s listening to your adolescents argue over what to watch on television or dealing with incalculable cries of “It’s not fair!” sibling rivalry can drive even the most even-keeled parents crazy. It is, of course, born with a second child. The arrival of a new baby forever changes the family dynamic, and you can catch the first glimpses of sibling rivalry when the older child steals the newborn’s toys or misbehaves while you nurse the baby.

Tension between siblings is stressful, yes, but perfectly normal. “Sibling rivalry is mislabeled, and needs to be reframed,” explains Dr. Pamela Varaday, the Santa Monica-based clinical psychologist and author of 15 Minutes to Sibling Harmony. “It’s not inherently bad, but rather, is rooted in biology. Children have competing needs and fight over resources, namely, their parents.”

Indeed, children of all ages vie for their parents’ attention (and affection). Firstborns, especially, scramble to keep their lost position in the spotlight. They experience a grief of sorts—a feeling that they’re no longer enough to sustain the parents’ love.

“Parents often seem surprised at the intensity of the older child’s reaction to a new brother or sister and question how to discipline or manage them. This behavior should be accepted as normal. Similarly, the development of sibling bickering should be anticipated,” notes Janet Woodward, a Connecticut-based pediatrician with 30 years of experience.

Then Comes Puberty . . .

For many parents, the sibling rivalry of childhood is manageable. But when puberty arrives, that can change.

“Sibling rivalry is rooted in biology.

Children have competing needs and fight over resources, namely, their parents.”

“Little kids will say, ‘You’re a poopy head,’ or ‘You’re stupid,’ or something like that, and parents will kind of chuckle,” says Dr. Mike Bradley, a psychologist and author of When Things Get Crazy With Your Teen: The Why, the How, and What to Do NOW. “But when they hit the teen years and start dropping the F-bomb or saying other terrible things, the parents go on red alert, thinking their kids hate each other.”

But again, it’s normal. Your teens are just regular teenagers clashing with siblings over the same reasons as when they were younger. They are competing for the common pool of privileges, goods, or love. It just sounds a lot harsher.

Still, some additional factors are in play, too, like adolescent development. “Teens are forming their own identities and want to be unique,” Varaday explains. “Sibling rivalry is especially apparent between kids of the same gender and close in age.”

“You should never tolerate bullying and physical abuse, nor should you expect squabbles to cease entirely”

Teens are also especially sensitive to how much parental attention they’re getting (or not getting).

As they individuate, they strive for attention, even if it’s negative.

“Teens still crave attention, though they pretend they don’t need you. My biggest complaint from teenagers is that their parents don’t seem to show interest in them,” Varaday adds.

They’ll argue over fairness—computer time, television selections, and car usage—and compare academic or athletic prowess. Competition isn’t all bad; it’s a sign that they’re asserting themselves, rather than acquiescing. But, it’s hard to endure repetitive spats.

How to Help The reality? Kids fight. A parent’s challenge is to recognize the triggers, then foster attitudes and behaviors that bring noteworthy change. Try these five strategies from our experts:

1. Map out some ground rules—and stick to them.

You should never tolerate bullying and physical abuse, nor should you expect squabbles to cease entirely. But you can set expectations for behavior before, during, and after the conflict. Establish those boundaries.

“Typical fights in our house center around control—over the video game console or a certain seat in the car. We create a schedule where the kids take turns for certain privileges and have set time limits,” says Sally Haskovec, a Virginia mother of three—two boys, 12 and 13, and a 15-yearold daughter.

2. Model the ground rules.

Excessive arguing, either between your teens and you, or even your spouse and you, can exacerbate sibling disputes. Your children will model your behavior, and adolescents will fight more in families where verbal sparring is the acceptable way to resolve conflict.

“Yelling does not work,” Woodward stresses.

Instead, develop a family philosophy on how members treat each other, where kindness—and appropriate ways of resolving conflict—rule. This may seem like a dated throwback to the Brady Bunch, but instilling a true sense of family pride can help to build relationships.

“Our kids make snarky comments about each other’s schools, course loads, and GPAs. It’s never truly mean spirited, but rather just about challenging each other to try harder. We’ve taught them, instead, to support each other by attending a game or awards ceremony and celebrating the other’s accomplishments,” says Christopher Garcia, parent of a 15-year-old son and 18-yearold daughter in Houston.

Also, don’t hesitate to talk about your teenagers’ ill-treatment of each other, in terms of this philosophy, adds Cleveland-based parenting coach, Amy Speidel. “For example, ‘You know what, I was listening to how you were speaking, and you were being rude. In this family we speak kindly to each other.’”

.3. Offer individual attention.

Part of sibling rivalry comes from vying for parental attention. Help ease that by carving out individual time with each child to do activities he likes. Make it official by adding these “dates” to the calendar. And also use everyday tasks—like running errands on the weekend—to grab some one-on-one time with your teens. Finally, make an effort to note good behavior and acknowledge it with praise. “By building self-esteem in each teen, siblings may not need to compete or jostle as much with each other,” Woodward notes.

4. Step in carefully.

When you wade into your adolescents’ arguments, it’s crucial to avoid favoritism, comparisons, and always expecting the older child to be the mature one. “The oldest is actually the most vulnerable as they’ve suffered a loss of status,” Varaday says. “It’s best to step in, without taking sides, and narrate the situation. Have the teens problem solve and set a joint consequence if they don’t work it out.”

But, Speidel says, parents should also recognize that their adolescents may not actually possess the skill set to work out every problem on their own. “When you say, ‘You know what? You are old enough to work that out.’ They are going to work that out with the best tools they have. And those might not be very strong tools. So provide the tools, then walk away, and listen to how they are able to work that through,” she says. “It’s like learning anything. You hand over homework until a child doesn’t know how to progress with it, and then you step back in to provide the support. What the parent is providing is the scaffolding to show the child how to build their skill set.”

And similar to homework or driving—or any other skill you’d like your teenager to master—this can mean intervening more than once.

What’s more, adds Speidel, dealing with siblings teaches your kids how to handle relationships in general. “Recognize that sibling rivalry is part of the growing process. When it does show up, view the conflict as an opportunity for your family to practice with each other. Because that is going to give your adolescent a lot of information about navigating difficult situations in the future.”

5. Acknowledge when you’ve had enough.

About now, you may be thinking, “Yes, but some days, I just don’t want to listen to it anymore!”

Well, that’s okay too. But, again, try to express your frustration without taking sides—or using harsh language. “So don’t say, ‘You guys don’t know how to get along. I have had it with your arguing,’” Speidel says. “Instead, try: ‘Wow. This just isn’t working. There’s just so much argument. I’m exhausted by it. I’m guessing you are exhausted by it too. Everybody, we are finding our own space.’ You get the same outcome without judgment.”

There’s no doubt that sibling rivalry will show up for a visit in your home, but with understanding and (we hope) our experts’ strategies in your pocket, you’ll persevere.

Kids Who Are Different

"Here's to the kids who are different, The kids who don't always get A's, The kids who have ears twice the size of their peers, And noses that go on for days...

Here's to the kids who are different, The kids they call crazy or dumb, The kids who don't fit, with the guts and the grit, Who dance to a different drum...

Here's to the kids who are different, The kids with the mischievous streak, For when they have grown, as history's shown, It's their difference that makes them unique." ...Digby Wolfe

The Morning I Discovered My Son and His Girlfriend in His Bedroom

Dropping her designer luggage onto the kitchen floor, she demanded my son show her around the house. This was my introduction to my teenage son’s first serious girlfriend. Later, she would seem surprised that her luggage was still on the kitchen floor where she had left it.

The depth of my patience was tested again at dinnertime after the young people in the house were instructed to come and peel vegetables. Entering the kitchen ahead of his siblings, my son tucked his too-long hair behind his left ear – a nervous tick he had developed in pre-school.

“Mum?” “Yes, son?”

“Er, Jasmine* is not used to helping out in the kitchen.”

“Excuse me, son?”

“It’s just that where she comes from they have a man who does all of that.”

Turning from the stove, I resisted the urge to grab my son’s own man-bits before demanding he go straighten out Little Miss Designer. However, more hair tugging and an unusual stillness in his frame stopped me. I remembered only too well the flailing impotence of my own husband when caught between me and his ‘difficult’ mother. I didn’t want that no-win misery for my son. I took a deep breath.

“Okay, could the two of you at least set the dining room table? You can show her the ropes if tablecloths and napkins are also beyond her comprehension.”

“Yes, mum. Thank you, mum.”

The watery relief in his eyes made me thankful I had not compromised him in front of his special guest.

“Okay, run along and tell your brother and sisters to come and help out in here.”

Dinnertime, when it came, was a pleasant enough affair, and everyone seemed to have calmed themselves down, including me. The children had at last tired of teasing their brother and, to her credit, Little Miss Designer also seemed less haughty. She joined in with the loud and excited dinner banter which, as I understood it, is not something she was used to as an only child of Japanese diplomats.

I looked across the table at my young people and the newly minted couple and smiled. It seemed like ages since I had little else to worry about than the latest boy band nonsense, or hope my parents could not see me knocking knees under the table with a shiny new love interest. Although in this case, ‘parent’ singular since the children’s father would not be back from his business trip until a week Friday.

Although I am a stickler for black and white parenting and a child’s due regard for the rules of the house, I was glad that things had improved since my inauspicious start with our weekend guest. While it was unlikely that my son would end up marrying this girl, I did have sudden insight into the proverbial mother-in-law triangle. Going forward, I would have to accept, at least to myself, that no-one would ever be entirely good enough for my child.

In was in this spirit of cooperation that all occupants of the house eventually said goodnight to each other and bunkered down for the night.

Sunday morning, after a loud knock on his door, which was apparently not loud enough to rouse him, I entered my son’s room. Five-minutes of making busy, picking up clothes and fussing with curtains was usually enough time to see my teenager safely back on planet earth.

“Morning, mum.”

“Good morning, my dear, sleep well?”

“Yes, except Jasmine didn’t sleep too good.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Where is she now?”

“Here.”

“Here, where?”

“Here, mum,” my son said, pulling back the covers to reveal his sleeping girlfriend.

“Oh. Um. Okay. Er…yes,” I said, grasping for a script I did not have.

With that insightful and stupefied response, I left my son’s room, went downstairs trance-like, and wondered what the hell had just happened.

Not that this was my first experience with blind, parental panic. When he was little, my toddler-son had thrown a ferocious tantrum in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket. That day I discovered it was possible for even this old-school, black-and-white, take-no-prisoners parent to be immobilized in parenting terror, as shoppers tut-tutted their way around my outof-control child.

Despite the pressure to remove my son from the supermarket, I took a deep breath and decided to leave him screaming in the aisle because I knew (prayed) that without me as his audience, he would soon come to his senses. It worked and the balance of power was restored. I didn’t know then how important this episode would later be along our parenting journey together.

In this moment, I yearned for the easy problem of supermarket tantrums.

Spooning teaspoon after teaspoon of coffee into a mug I don’t remember taking from the shelf, I felt helpless and powerless, with my metaphorical pants around my ankles.

Then came the anger. Anger at my husband for never being around for the difficult parenting dilemmas, angry at my son for putting me in this damned position, and angry at myself for eschewing the common sense which had always guided me through the stickiest days of motherhood. Abandoning an overflowing coffee cup, I grabbed that common sense by the neck and dragged it upstairs to confront my son. This time I did not knock.

“YOU, in my room, now! Miss, please get dressed and join us.”

Seated at my desk in the master bedroom, I finally felt that I was on familiar territory again and realized I didn’t want to give these young people a severe reprimand as much as I wanted them to truly understand the ramifications of their actions.

“Mum, I don’t know what you think has gone on, but nothing happened.”

“That is not the point, son. You know the rules of this house and you should have imparted them to your friend here.”

“Further,” I continued, ignoring my son’s attempt at interruption and his girlfriend’s affected sheepish muteness, “as the eldest you are the one to set the example for your siblings.”

“But, Mum…” “And you, young lady, understand that when you are under my roof I am your temporary caretaker and proxy parent. What on earth would your parents have thought had they walked in on the two of you this morning?”

“I apologize, ma’am. It won’t happen again.”

My radar for “empty platitudes to placate an angry parent” is pretty sharp, and I sensed that these two young people were genuinely remorseful.

“Look, kids, it’s not that I wasn’t young too, but I will tell you something my mother told me which has served me well, and that is ‘everyone has an unguarded moment.’”

Letting that statement sink in for a few seconds more, I elaborated and explained to them that even the best of intentions can get lost when emotions and physical urges take over. A chaste goodnight kiss might be possible for an older married couple, but young blood runs hot and can lead to that unguarded moment when caution (and pants) are thrown to the wind.

The ensuing laughter broke some of the tension, and it was in this frame of mind that the three of us had an honest conversation that morning after which the young couple prepared breakfast for the rest of the household.

Invariably when I tell this story, people ask, “Okay, but what happens when you are not around?”

When I’m not around, my children will have to rely on their inner compass and their training.

They may break the rules, but they will do so knowing how their mother feels about their behavior. I can at least give them that when I am not physically there to guide them. Decisionmaking and the consequences of those decisions is, after all, part of growing up.

Some parents may be tempted to run screaming down the path of least resistance for that illusive ‘quiet life’ when raising children. I was certainly tempted that Sunday morning. And some parents may have a more relaxed view on this issue, but no one should be railroaded or chose a position based on fear of their teenagers.

We can all admit to walking on eggshells around our teenagers at some point, especially around the subject of sex in our home. I had to gird my loins to restore the rightful balance of power to help the kids through one of life’s firsts. With rare exception, I have found that a home runs more smoothly, and teenagers feel safer, when the balance of power favors the most experienced members of the household – the parents and caregivers.

About Melinda Fargo Melinda Fargo is a successful blogger, newspaper columnist for the UK’s largest regional newspaper, Editor-in-chief of online magazine Post-40 Bloggers, an amateur photographer and public speaker. To pay the bills, she is a project management professional in public service. Melinda remains a widow, but will marry Denzel Washington after the sudden and unexpected disappearance of any of his wives.

Where to find her: Personal blog - What Mel Did

By Leanne Gray

I like to consider myself a strong woman. But too often, I find myself saying something like "Oh, I can't do that" or apologizing for expressing my feelings and advocating for what I want. These cultural norms are enforced over and over until they sneak into our minds and jump out when you least expect it. We start assigning these roles to children before they are even born, so it takes a conscious effort to challenge and change them. But where to begin?

I spoke with Rikki, a mom who works to empower women everyday. Having two young sons herself, she works hard on challenging stereotypes, assumptions, and established ideas around gender roles in her home as well as at work.

Here's what she has to say about building strength, resolve, and self-confidence for your daughter and encouraging compassion, sensitivity, and humility for your son.

Tell us a bit about your work to empower women. What inspired you to do this?

I have been very fortunate to have wonderful mentors in my life who have encouraged me, and helped me to understand that advocating for myself, especially as a woman in a field that is typically male dominated, is very important. I have tried to do that same thing for other young women, in negotiating salaries, navigating challenging transitions, and exploring new careers.

Women are much better at advocating or negotiating for others than they are for themselves, so I encourage them to think about these decisions as if they were doing it for another person and that helps them to understand their own value and self worth.

What are some common hurdles you see in women's attitudes, mannerisms, and behaviors?

I try to be careful not to stereotype, or assume that all women have the same challenges or hurdles to overcome.

That said, there are patterns that I see, such as women doubting their own capabilities and underestimating their value to an organization, or team. Women tend to look at a list of job requirements and say, of these 10, I can do 6 well, so I probably shouldn't try for this job, whereas men look at that and say 6, out of 10 - I have got this!

I also think that women are afraid to come across too strong, so they will hold back on what they ask for, or frame it in a way that makes it seem like a question, not something that is required, or recommended.

CHILDHOOD CANCER Awareness & Early Detection CHOC’s Awareness Programme It is estimated that currently less than half of children with cancer in South Africa are diagnosed, and many of those who are diagnosed are in advanced stage of illness. One of the reasons for this is a lack of awareness and knowledge in parts of the health system regarding the early warning signs of childhood cancer.

As a result, CHOC initiated an Awareness Programme to disseminate the early warning signs that the South African Childhood Cancer Study Group drew up.

The objectives of the programme include ensuring that all children with cancer in South Africa are diagnosed as early possible and that the early warning signs of childhood cancer are well known in all parts of the health system (including primary health care clinics and all hospitals).

Cancer Facts Cancer incidence Although childhood cancer is relatively rare, the incidence rate has been increasing. According to a 2014 report by the American Cancer Society, it is now estimated that one in 408 children worldwide will be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 15. Yet with early detection and treatment in paediatric oncology units, globally the survival rate can be as high as between 70% and 80%, with variance depending on the type of cancer.

Common childhood cancers Cancers in children tend to be different from those found in adults, most often occurring in the developing cells like bone marrow, blood, kidneys and nervous system tissues. Life-threatening blood disorders include aplastic anaemia, thalassaemia and idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura.

Despite being relatively rare, in Western countries childhood cancer is the second most common cause of death in children aged 5 to 14 years, after accidents, whilst in Africa it does not make it into the top 10 common causes.

According to the most recent South African Children’s Cancer Study Group (SACCSG) registry statistics, for 2009 to 2013, the five most common childhood cancers in South Africa are leukaemia, followed by lymphoma (tumours that begin in the lymph glands), then brain tumours, nephroblastomas, or Wilms tumours – cancer of the kidneys - and then soft tissue sarcomas, which are tumours that begin in the connective tissue.

The Saint Siluan Early Warning signs These early warning signs were drawn up by the South African Childhood Cancer Study Group and they have been adopted by the International Society of Paediatric Oncology. St Siluan was a monk who prayed for humanity ceaselessly.

If you detect any of the warning signs in your child please contact your nearest CHOC region contact your nearest treatment centre or SMS the name of your province to 34486, at a cost of R2. A CHOC representative will contact you shortly thereafter..

There is also a TOLL-FREE HELPLINE: 0800 333 555 that sisters and doctors at the primary healthcare clinics can call (hosted at the Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital) for advice on whether to refer the child for further investigation and to which unit. http://www.choc.org.za/regions.html

Conscious Life Magazine

We are all searching for ways in which to cut expenses. And petrol is a big expense in most households. One option in which you can save is to buy a more fuel-efficient vehicle. But that’s not an option for everyone.

So what if we, your trusted insurance advisors, tell you that we have 17 tips on how you can save fuel when you’re driving? Read on to drive more economically.

Vehicle examine • • • •

Ensure that your vehicle is serviced regularly.

Ensure that your tyre pressure is correct.

Don’t carry unnecessary weight in your vehicle.

Remove your roof rack from your vehicle, if you’re not using it.

Filling up • •

Fill up your vehicle when your tank is halfway empty.

Fill up your vehicle’s tank in the morning.

Driving • • • • • • •

Don’t rev your vehicle unnecessarily.

Stop driving aggressively.

Stop driving in the lower gears.

Don’t break too hard or too suddenly.

Do not speed.

Maintain a steady speed while driving, use cruise control if you can.

When driving slower than 75km/h, open your windows. If you’re driving faster than 75km/h, drive with the air con on.

Routes • • • •

Plan your route ahead of time to avoid unnecessary stops and trips or getting lost.

Try to run as many errands in one trip as possible.

Try to avoid traffic jams as much as possible.

Consider carpooling.

By implementing these small changes to your driving habits, you can ensure that your wallet won’t be hit so hard the next time there is a fuel price increase. If you do decide that it is time for a new vehicle, contact your Indwe advisor. Not only are we your trusted insurance advisors, but we’re also your partner for life. Visit www.indwe.co.za or phone 0860 13 13 14, for your unique insurance solution.

Conscious Life Magazine

The Yard on Third wants to keep the passion in horse riding alive. We love horses as much as you do and want you to continue to love riding and caring for your horses.

We have seven beautiful and unique school horses for all age groups to enjoy our lessons. We promote the art of horsemanship and teach our riders to care for their horses, this includes everything from cleaning out a stable to jumping in your very first horse show. We also offer fun and exciting training shows that are open to the whole family to enjoy, these take place every two months. We also offer pony camps, outrides, outings and day clinics to all of our riders.

Join our mailing list to be sure you are up to date on the shows that take place at the Yard and come experience for yourself the passion and love that is radiating from our Yard, to our riders and especially to the horses.

Raising Kids Positively Raising Kids Positively is all about improving your relationship with your children, growing their emotional intelligence, and a balance of kind and firm discipline.

Psychologist Carol Surya makes this easy with her new website www.raisingkidspositively.com and three easy-to-use routes: a children’s self-esteem game, a conscious parenting book and workshops.

InnerMagic Perfect for today’s busy families, is a game to consciously spend more quality time together, without devices or distractions. Expertly designed for selfreflection, self-expression and empowerment, InnerMagic benefits include teaching emotional intelligence while also strengthening all areas of development as you play! Everyone loves it because it gets all players moving, thinking and speaking. Magically encouraging children to talk more easily, develop critical thinking and practice making healthy choices. Ideal for parents, grandparents and educators to play with 5 to 13 year olds.

Order yours today and be reminded of your inner potential. All information available on

www.raisingkidspositively.com Email : info@raisingkidspositively.com Phone: (044) 533-5655 Mobile:: 071 671 6337

The Magic of Mindfulness Author Carmen Clews has found a magical way to bring mindfulness into your home and school! “The Magic Mat and its little secret…” is a delightful children’s book (with free DVD animation) offering fun, physical stretching and calming techniques to develop happy, relaxed, loving and healthy children. Used as a story at bedtime, or done actively with the DVD at home or as a group activity in the classroom - with regular use the benefits are magical. Children relax more, improving in balance and co-ordination, as well as memory, focus, patience and selfcontrol. Readers (age 5 to 12) hop on board their very own Magic Mat, transforming them into animals with various beautiful qualities. Finally, they relax, discovering their own higher selves, learning to feel love, compassion and gratitude. Read what buyers say about this magical tool kit, visit the Facebook page, watch the video clip – or simply order yours today.

The Planting Seeds for Life Education Series, also by Carmen Clews, teaches mindfulness and positive values to children aged 10 to 14 years. Enchanting African stories guide the reader through group discussions, visualizations, songs and other learning activities all aimed at improving well-being. The book’s 25 “seeds”, each written as a lesson plan, include the essential life skills of making wise choices; improving communication; managing emotions; problem solving; forgiveness; positive thinking; self-reliance and environmental conservation. If only we’d all learned these skills at school.

Contact details : Website : www.magicmatsecret.com Email : carmen@magicmatsecret.com Video : http://vimeo.com/100388148 Magic Mat Seeds for Life

From Dr Mercola. Click on each section to read more

RECIPES: Avocado Sauerkraut Recipe From Dr Mercola | Try this nutritious recipe the next time you need a quick snack. Even picky kids have been turned on to eating fermented foods, thanks to this simple and delightful treat.

Ingredients: Makes 1 Serving • •

1 avocado 1/2 cup raw sauerkraut

Directions: • •

•

•

Slice the avocado in half and take the pit out.

Fill the pit holes with about ¼ cup of raw fermented sauerkraut each. The amount of sauerkraut you need depends on the size of your avocado.

Spoon a bit of the sauerkraut juice over the exposed sides of the avocado to keep them from turning brown. This step is unnecessary if you’re going to eat it immediately.

Add some Himalayan salt and black pepper to suit your taste.

A Quick and Delicious Snack That Can Help Improve Your Health Raw sauerkraut is affordable and it offers a lot of health benefits as well. For instance, it provides you with beneficial bacteria to help optimize your gut health.

Avocados also have a lot to offer. They are one of the healthiest fruits around due to their low fructose content, so they won’t cause a spike in your blood sugar levels.

Conscious Life Magazine

Salsa Fresca

Ingredients • • • • • • • •

5 medium tomatoes cut into ½-inch pieces 1-2 jalapenos seeded and minced 2 garlic cloves minced ¼ medium red onion chopped 3tbsp fresh lime juice ½tsp salt ⅛tsp black pepper 1tbsp cilantro chopped

Instructions

In a bowl, gently stir together all the ingredients.

Berbere Spice Mix Berbere Spice Mix Berbere is a blend of spices used in Ethiopian cooking.

If you don’t have whole spices, you can use ground ones.

Ingredients

Instructions

• • • • • • •

Remove the seeds from the cardamom pod. Toast the cardamom, clove, allspice and fenugreek seeds in a dry skillet over medium-high heat, stirring until the spices become fragrant. Remove from the heat, let cool and grind in a mortar and pestle until fine. Stir in the ginger, nutmeg, and turmeric.

1whole cardamom pod 1whole clove 2whole allspice ⅛tsp whole fenugreek seeds ⅛tsp ground ginger ⅛tsp ground nutmeg ⅛tsp ground turmeric

Stovetop Pizza Stovetop Pizza These days, pizza is the favorite food of many children. Making your own pizza is a satisfying accomplishment. This delicious version uses fresh tomatoes and less cheese than most. You can bake these pizzas on cookie sheets in preheated 425 degree oven instead of cooking them on the stovetop.

Makes 3 10-inch pizzas.

Ingredients Pizza Dough • 1cup warm water • ½tsp baking yeast • 1tsp honey • ¾cup whole wheat flour • 1¾cups unbleached white flour • ½tsp baking powder • ½tsp salt Pizza Toppings • ¼cup shredded Parmesan cheese • ½cup grated mozzarella cheese • 5 Roma tomatoes, diced • ½ red bell pepper diced • 2tbsp chopped fresh basil leaves • ¼tsp salt • ⅛tsp freshly ground black pepper • 2tsp olive oil

Instructions Make the pizza dough In a medium bowl, combine the warm water and yeast. Let sit 2 to 3 minutes, until the yeast is dissolved. Stir in the honey and whole wheat flour. In a separate bowl, stir together the white flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the whole wheat mixture, stirring to form a rough dough. On a clean, lightly floured work surface, knead the dough for 1 to 2 minutes, until smooth.

Cover the dough and let it rise while you prepare the pizza toppings.

Prepare the pizza toppings In a small bowl, combine the cheeses. In another bowl, combine the tomatoes, bell peppers, basil, salt, pepper, and olive oil.

Make the pizzas Divide the dough to make 3 equal balls. On a clean, lightly floured work surface, roll each ball into a circle that is 10 inches in diameter. Heat a 12-inch skillet or griddle over medium high heat until it is hot. Transfer the rolled pizza crust to the skillet or griddle and cook for 3 to 5 minutes.

Turn the dough. Spread one third of the tomato mixture on top of the cooked side of the dough to make an even layer.

Top with ¼ cup of the cheese mixture. Cover the pan and continue to cook the pizza until the toppings are hot and the bottom of the crust is golden brown, about 5 to 8 minutes. Remove the pizza to a cutting board and cut into wedges to serve. Repeat this process to make 2 more pizzas.

Ed’s Book Review: Mila’s Meals The Beginning & the Basics A collection of nourishing wholefood recipes & food ideas for baby’s first year

by Catherine Barnhoorn CLICK TO ORDER NOW I remember the 1st time that I laid my eyes on this magnificent recipe book. I was in The Organic Emporium in Bryanston when I spotted it. I picked it up, paged through it & immediately knew I had to have it!

When we were approached by Catherine to review the book, I couldn’t have been more excited!

This book is gorgeous! Filled with over 100 delicious, healthy recipes that are free from gluten, sugar, dairy & additives. Everything that you need to help set your baby on the right track health wise, is in this book. It is great for the entire family too.

Now, I am not a mother – a have a 5 year old niece who visits me – but this book, I believe, is a must have for everyone! As a person who is striving to follow a healthier, gluten, sugar, dairy, allergen and additive free way of eating, I have found everything that I need in Mila’s Meals..

I love that Catherine has actually taken the time to help you become informed and aware when it comes to what we put into our bodies, and especially our babies bodies. She explains in detail what all the ingredients and additives on food labels really are, and what you should stay away from and why. How to identify the classes of additives and understanding why they are bad .

And that is just the tip of the iceberg! We go on a journey to discover: which is better, Raw or Cooked; explore Organic, Conventional & GMO; why you should eat Whole Foods vs Refined & Processed Foods, discovering & using natural taste enhancers; learning how to eat from the rainbow and much more.

For Mommies this book is a MUST HAVE! Catherine helps you unlearn infant food fallacies, know what nutrients to feed when, essential nutrients and where to find them and step by step yummy meals for each phase of baby’s first year and onwards.

PS: Careful reading this 500 page mammoth as you lay sleepily in bed… 

Conscious Life Magazine

Enter to WIN One Lucky Reader Will Win a Beautiful Copy of Mila’s Meals Recipe Book Free From Gluten, Sugar 7 Dairy

The only cookbook you’ll need for the first few years of your child’s life & the rest of the family!

Mila’s Meals: The Beginnings & The Basics is an award-winning collection of nourishing wholefood recipes and food ideas for baby’s first years (and the rest of the family too). Free from gluten, refined sugar, dairy and artificial additives.

Created, written and published by: Catherine Barnhoorn. Photography by: Alfred Lor Over 100 recipes from pureés to solids, ALL free from gluten, sugar and dairy – this is the only book you will need for the first few years of your ‘free-from’ child’s life.

Awarded four international book awards!: Gourmand ‘Best In The World’ Award – First Book Category; Next Generation Indie Book Award – Health/Wellness Category; Gourmand World Cookbook Award – Self-Published Category London Book Festival Award – Cookbook Category To Enter: 1. Email us at competitions@childoftheuniverse.co.za Subject: Mila’s Meals 2. Answer this Question: Where did our Editor 1st spot Mila’s Meals Cookbook? Hint – see her review 3. Elect 3 friends to receive Conscious Life Magazine for free by including their email addresses.

Terms & Conditions: The Competition Ends on the 30th of August 2017 at 12pm. The judge’s decision is final. The competition is not open to directors, agents, employees or consultants of Mila’s Meals or Conscious Life Magazine. The competition is not open to readers who reside outside of South Africa or those who have won a prize with us in the last 6 months.

Conscious Life Magazine

Conscious Life Magazine

Conscious Life Magazine

We lead increasingly busy lives. juggling work, family, personal issues and day-to-day general ‘stuff’. Our energy can feel unbalanced at any time even on the best of days and sometimes stressful situations can totally throw us out of sync. Holistic healing is a wonderful way of balancing your body mind and spirit.

Everything is made up of energy. When we are stressed or unbalanced, our entire environment is affected, including our family, pets and our living or working environment.

Our animal companions are highly sensitive beings. Their energy centres are easily thrown out of balance by negative energy in the home, i.e. noise, arguments, work stress, loss of a family member and even moving house, which can be extremely stressful for everyone involved. Reiki helps to balance our animal friends and give them a sense of calm and balance, helping them to stay healthy and relaxed, even in the most stressful of situations..

Our homes can also be affected by negativity, creating stagnant energies in our own living space. Space clearing, a specialised area of Feng Shui, can help to restore positive energy and movement into these stagnant areas, creating peace and calm – restoring the natural balance within your home, your sanctuary.

A three-part healing experience for you and your animal companions, cleansing all the negative energies within your home environment.

Ann-Marie Kelly Mobile: 082 579 9478 emailhealingconnexions14@gmail.com

MAR-APR 2017

Conscious Life Magazine

When a Pet Dies, How Can You Help Your Kids Say Goodbye?

Here’s the one security question I still can’t choose: “What was the name of your first pet?”

I was 13 that October, right around the time when the weather turns in Tennessee so that I needed a jacket before I left for school that morning. I ran back in to grab the old Patagonia off the hook when I heard the summons from my mother to check Amber’s food bowl before I left.

Amber, our golden retriever, the dog we drove over an hour to pick out of a brand new litter on a small farm outside of town, and who had been my sidekick for seven years. That dog was mine. I named her in the back of the minivan before we’d left the gravel drive of the farm, picking at random, because that’s how you name a dog when you’re six.

I was in a hurry when I checked her food, worrying about missing my ride and the Latin test I had later that day. But I sought her out, in her favorite lawn chair where she sat like a person with legs tucked under her, and I kissed the soft fur right between her eyes. And then I ran out the door.

And then Amber was gone. My parents took her to be “put down” while I was at school. I hadn’t known. Her bowl was gone when I came home.

They say “out of sight, out of mind,” but it’s not true. Out of sight is in the mind, locked and sealed with nowhere to go. Without a proper goodbye, I was always rounding corners, expecting Amber to be there. I was crying over hair shed on the couch and absently grabbing for a leash that wasn’t there to take her for a walk.

She’d had cancer. I knew she didn’t have long.

It was the right thing to do. But I never got my moment. I never got to look into her eyes and tell her that I loved her. In my mind, I’m still calling her in from the yard.

I won’t do that with my kids. As hard as it may be, I want them to have a proper goodbye when the time comes. I owe it to them and to their animals – their companions and sidekicks. Here are five ways I’m going to help them say farewell:

Prepare Our family dog is 12. She’s doing well, but I’ve noticed the gray in her muzzle and how long it takes her to stand up, like me unfolding myself from the car after a road trip. When the times comes that she can no longer maneuver herself down the back steps to the yard, when she is in too much pain to enjoy her life, we will sit the kids down and talk to them about how she is unable to do what she once did. How she is tired and ready to rest.

We will give them time to love on her and whisper the secrets in her twitching ear that they still have left to share.

Tell the truth I’m not going to say she “went to sleep” or “went to the farm.” That doesn’t help the grieving process, even though the words “she has died” makes my stomach plummet three

feet to the floor. They have to understand what happened to her, to wrap their little minds around the idea that things that have a beginning also an end. And then we will watch “All Dogs Go to Heaven”, because I’m going to need it.

Plan a memorial Letting children decide how to honor their pet is key. I kept Amber’s collar and tags in my hope chest along with handmade quilts and my favorite Indigo Girls album. We buried her in our backyard under the strawberry plants she always got to before we did. I want my kids to be able to choose how to honor our dog. Poems, speeches, favorite foods and walks, best memories and pictures are up for their choosing. It’s their goodbye, and they will be able to say it as they wish.

Feel the grief Saying goodbye to my grandfather at age 10 was easier than saying goodbye to my childhood dog. I remember feeling sad at his funeral, staring at a face that did not look real, but must be because everybody said so.

Perhaps it was because he lived eight states away and visits were annual. Perhaps it’s because he was already old when I met him. I did not know him in his puppy stage.

But with Amber, the grief laid me flat. Denial and anger were the heavy hitters. How could she be gone? I just fed her this morning? How could you take her without telling me?

Because of this, I will honor every stage of my children’s grief. As their mother, I will ride out every phase and weather the storm with them as best I can.

Moving on If acceptance is the last stage in the grieving process, getting a new pet is the reset button. But we’re not going to hurry. I don’t want a replacement pet. I want a pet who will not have to settle for second-best to a memory. I want my kids to understand that this new pet, whenever and whatever they choose, will not be a “do-over,” because no one can fill the place of the one that went before.

Once they have grieved enough to heal, then we will visit the farm or the shelter or the adoption center and let our hearts melt all over again at the new fuzzy faces.

Our pets love us with their whole hearts. It’s in their genetic make-up to take us as we are.

We owe them big for all they put up with in us. Because of that, it’s important to help our kids pay homage to them as best we can when their time comes to say goodbye.

I’m still going to need a lot of Kleenex and wine at the end of the day.

Jamie Sumner

Jamie Sumner is a writer for Parenting Special Needs Magazine. Her articles have also appeared in Tribe, Mamalode, Complex Child and Her View From Home. She is the author of the website, mom-gene.com where she writes with humor about infertility and special needs parenting. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband and three children.

According to AVMA (American Veterinary Medical Association), 50% of deaths in pets (over the age of 10) can be contributed to cancer, and dogs are more cancer prone than cats. Cancer occurs when seemingly normal cells start to run rogue.

Feline cancer however tends to be more aggressive than those in dogs, and owners also seem to do less for treating their cats than their dogs.

Ever stopped to think how second-hand cigarette smoke, insecticides, pesticides and household chemicals increase their risk factors? What about their refined diet and exposure to additives, preservatives, colourants and flavouring agents in their food? Just like their human counter-parts, animals can also get cancer from various environmental pollutants. Pollution, infectious organisms, electronic waves, contaminants and preservatives strain the body’s defenses. This is partly why many animals seem to suffer from more and more problems.

This is where Eco-Vet’s Eco-Immune can play an important role. Eco-Immune assists in improving the ability of the animal’s body to improve its resistance to disease. If puppies and kittens are given the treatment from an Conscious Life Magazine

early age it helps them grow up with higher resistance to viral diseases. Boosting the immune system and give them a great start: much like a flue shot.

There are certain cancers that are commonly found in pets that one would just as likely find in humans e.g. lymphomas, melanomas and bone cancers.

Typical cancer in Cats • Feline Leukemia and the Feline Leukemia Virus It may cause various blood disorders, and may lead to a state of immune deficiency that hinders a cat's ability to protect itself against other secondary infections • Squamous Cell Carcinoma A malignant tumor of the squamous epithelial cells.

This tumor is more common in cats than dogs. Risk of nasal tumors is increased through exposure to inhaled chemicals including indoor use of coal, cigarettes, and air fresheners.

• Feline Mammary Cancer The third most occurring tumor in cats.

Typical cancer in Dogs • Canine Transmissible Venereal Tumor These living cancer cells are usually spread during mating. These tumors are usually associated with the external genitalia of both male and female dogs.

• Canine Osteosarcoma Malignant cancer of the bone • Canine Hemangiosarcoma Malignant tumor of the cells that line blood vessels.

Occurs most frequently in large breeds, especially German Shepherds, Labrador and Golden retrievers.

• Cutaneous Mast Cell Tumors Most commonly reported skin tumor in dogs Typical cancer in Horses • Melanoma Mainly occur in horse with a grey colouring.

• Sarcoids A sarcoid is a tumor "like a sarcoma.”

However where sarcomas are generally malignant, Sarcoids tends to be benign.

Resembles a wart

Some of the main positive factors of colostrum are the following scientifically established areas of interest: Anti-viral. Herpes virus in the cat responds well to supplementation with colostrum and its associated lysine content.

The high levels of IgA are of great value in those breeds; including many of the shepherds, that are known to be commonly affected by auto-immune or immune mediated conditions.

Anti-aging properties that are of immense value in the aging animal.

Anti-allergic conditions associated with skin problems.

Immune boosting effects for all animals affected by any kind of chronic bacterial infections.

Its anti-cancer properties have been well established in a number of clinical conditions.

REMEMBER: Early detection of cancer drastically increases the treatment success rate. Visit your vet!!

Erika Bornman CEO-Eco-Vet www.ecovet.co.za

Natural medicine has an important part to play in dealing with cancer in animals, however it is important not to overload the system through our good, but often misguided intentions. Eco-Vet Colostrum plays an important role in cancer treatment, and the combination of Eco-Immune and Colostrum is often integral in the treatment protocol, and has proved to be very effective in dealing with inter-alia feline aids.

Conscious Life Magazine

STIFF JOINTS? ARTHRITIS? LAME OR IN PAIN? If your pet is suffering with problems of movement, associated with damage to the musculo-skeletal system? YOU can help him!

We have developed a range of medicines aimed at the control of joint disease and lameness in general. ECO-JOINT exerts an effect on tendons and ligaments in, or close to all joints, including sacro-iliacs. Reduces swelling and inflammation and joint stiffness.

ECO-ARTH has been formulated to heal and restore function quickly, and encourages cartilage regeneration. Indicated for carpal and hock chips and spurs. ECO-BONE for ‘kissing spines’ & spondylitis.

Should be used as a preventative medicine in rapid growing animals. ECO-LAME for back problems where pain is related to nerve irritations. ECO-HEAL for pain, recovery & emergencies, and ECO-GERIAT to assist older animals to loosen-up.

Please visit our website to see our full range, varying from skin conditioners to heart medication.

Email us and we can assist you with choosing the right medicine for his condition. www.ecovet.co.za 0860 326 838 ecovet@ecovet.co.za

EVERY HOME NEEDS A LOVING PET! THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS WAITING TO BE ADOPTED – PLEASE REACH OUT! WE ALSO ENCOCURAGE YOU TO REACH INTO YOUR HEARTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE AND REALLY NEED OUR HELP.

HUSKY ROMI WOLF SANCTUARY HuskyRomi is a non-profit organization providing a safe haven for abandoned and abused huskies and wolves in South Africa.

We provide a home to all huskies and wolves that can’t be kept as pets because of their complicated nature. Many of the animals arrive in a poor condition, some not even knowing what grass is. They are rehabilitated with loving care by Larry Paul. This website was started to provide support to the HuskyRomi project and to promote the protection of wolves and other wildlife. The sanctuary is open for the public to come and learn about wolves. We do appreciate donations and sponsorship for the buying of food, for veterinary bills and doing maintenance to the enclosures.

We currently take care of more than 200 huskies, wolves and hybrids in 54 enclosures.

Get Involved We are working towards getting a formal volunteer program off the ground at HuskyRomi. This is available to both local (South African) and international volunteers. Should anybody be interested to become a volunteer or to assist with the program please contact Larry on the number or email below.

Sponsorship and Donations Name a Wolf.

Should you wish to name a wolf, for instance in remembrance of a loved one or pet, you may arrange it with Larry. We just request that you then will be prepared to do a full monthly sponsorship of that wolf for a period of at least two years.

Get in Touch: Mobile: 071 679 5141 larry@huskyromi.co.za http://huskyromi.co.za/wp/

Conscious Life Magazine

Keeping more than hope alive for nearly four decades

CHOC Childhood Cancer Foundation was established in 1979 as a support group to parents of children with cancer, by parents of children with cancer. Having experienced the immense emotional and financial toll that cancer takes they recognised there is more than one victim in the family of the child with cancer.

Their aim was to ease the burden on parents facing the same journey by providing access to relevant, accurate information, as well as emotional and practical support.

From the onset CHOC provided support in the hospital wards, hence the name Children’s Haematology Oncology Clinics, or CHOC. Gradually parent groups were set up in other key centres, where the major state-funded academic hospitals are located and paediatric oncologists practice.

In 2000, these regional entities merged into a national organisation. CHOC now has a head office in Johannesburg, six regional offices, two branches, and 13 accommodation facilities close to treatment centres. With occupancy steadily increasing our budget for maintenance and running costs of the accommodation facilities in 2015 will amount to R7.132 million, with each facility costing over half a million and we have a total capacity of 66 030 bed nights per annum.

We do not receive funding from government but rely heavily on donations from caring corporates, individuals and parents of children with cancer. Funds raised are used to provide all-encompassing support – from direct practical help to the children and their families and those involved in the treatment – to necessary equipment.

Donate to CHOC The support of corporations and individuals is vital to the ongoing work of CHOC.

PAWS R US (SA) is looking for INVESTORS – help us BUILD THE DREAM of our “HAPPY PLACE”!

After 6 years in animal welfare/rescue, PAWS R US (SA) has moved into the LINBER KENNELS facility out in the Tarlton area, JHB. It is time to spread our wings, create a permanent home, and contribute more effectively to both the cause and effects linked to animal welfare/rescue in SA. Our dream is to build the LINBER KENNELS facility into a top-notch rescue, rehabilitation and rehoming haven for rescue dogs. We also want to establish a home-base for our EDUCATION campaigns, so that we can work with the youth in returning to the core value of COMPASSION and RESPECT for Self and All Life.

To make this dream a reality, we need to BUY the LINBER KENNELS site. And to get that done, we need to find INVESTORS and PARTNERS who want to contribute to something greater than themselves, and help make a real, immediate and practical difference in a world that has lost its way.

The PAWS R US (SA) TRUST has been created as a legal entity – and we now look to spread the net open wide and “go on the hunt” for kindred spirits who want to help build something GOOD. We need INVESTORS of the HEART and MIND – those who want to protect the vulnerable, educate the youth of tomorrow, and know that their investment has directly uplifted lives and communities.

CONTACT: For all enquiries and details related to this search for INVESTORS, and the implications for each INVESTOR within the Trust, please email us on woof@pawsrus.co.za

Blue Sky News is a kids friendly newsletter (A3 folded to A4 full colour) distributing (personally by each franchisee) on a monthly basis to over 300 schools into school bags, in the Gauteng area.

We currently have franchises covering Midrand/Centurion/Fourways/Houghton/Sandton 40000 copies collectively.

If you interested in becoming part of our team OR if parents/kids/families are your target market & you would be interested in advertising with us OR would like to distribute or subscribe to our newsletters then check out our website www.blueskynews.co.za and/or Facebook page Contact susette@blueskynews.co.za for more info, we would love to hear from you!

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