Montessori Mag-nificence Free Online Magazine, ed 54, May-June 2019

*FREE DIGITAL MAG *ISSUE 54 MAY 2019

Minimize Screen Time Maximise Play Time

What are your kids projecting into their future?

THE MYTH OF SHARING

WHAT CAUSES ADDICTION

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contents

Students Need Learning Tools

By Maren Schmidt As human beings, the problem solvers, we need learning tools that will help us organize our thinking and actions, tools that help us with self-expression, tools that help us learn to problem solve while digging out facts and tools that help us prepare for performance of our goals and objectives.

In our current educational system, we have focused too long on testing for facts that are learned, forgotten in a few weeks, and are not foundational for further learning.

As parents and teachers we need to help our children learn to learn and have a set of learning tools that will serve them for all of their lives.

These tools are elemental and lead to the true goals of learning–individual independence and concentration.

Organizing thinking and actions Knowing how to organize facts into understandable bits of information is essential for success in any endeavor.

Basic ideas need to be presented in a clear, hands-on manner since research shows that we learn faster when we touch objects that give meaning to our learning. We might not be able to hold a porcupine, but touching a boar-bristle brush might convey meaning about that spiny animal, without having to be pricked by a porcupine.

The concept that all objects can be defined in two groups–living and non-living–can be introduced in a hands-on manner as early as three years old by having a basket of objects or pictures and letting the child sort the objects into two groups. Offering information in a manner that provides clear organization, along with deep time for the child to interact and think about the objects, is a vital learning tool.

Wise use of time is another organizational tool, but time management is a misnomer. What we need to teach is self-management. What tools do we need to help our children acquire in order to successfully manage their lives? Self-regulation, setting of goals and objectives, as well as understanding the difference of urgent, not urgent, important and not important tasks, are vital tools for learning how to think and act.

Self-expression Our children need to learn to express themselves effectively through as many media as possible.

Talking, listening, singing, dancing, drawing, painting, sculpture, building, growing, cooking, questioning and problem solving only begin to describe the multitude of methods for human communication. The expression of knowledge, coupled with the need to be of service to others, is perhaps the best “test” of a person’s learning and abilities. We need to be watching our children’s growth and prepare places for them to make the next steps in their individual growth, not just academically, but socially, physically, and spiritually. Education is about the whole child and the whole person.

Problem solving Regurgitation of facts doesn’t help us figure out how to get the fox, the hen and the grain across the river. When we give our children problem-solving, “can-do” skills, we are offering them education for a lifetime of positive growth and change.

Performance Being prepared for real life–right now–is the biggest tool our children require in their toolbox.

We wouldn’t expect our children to know how to drive a car without supervised practice. We too often expect our children to go off to college or a first job without mastery of essential life skills. 18-year-olds head off to college without knowing how to manage finances, do laundry, eat healthy, create a personal schedule, and much more. Our children’s education needs to offer common-sense tools of learning to take care of yourself, today, not sometime in the abstract future, in order to take care of others.

Education is not a holding of a million facts in your mind and spitting them back out quickly and accurately. Education is preparation for life by offering our children tools to organize their thinking and actions, to problem solve, to direct and manage their minds, their bodies, their hearts and their spirits, and to express their unique gifts in order to be of service to others.

Every Brain Is Unique

By Maren Schmidt We say that every snowflake is unique. We also say that every person is unique. We need to start walking our talk.

Every person is born to a unique set of circumstances, time, place, family, natural affinities, intrinsic motivations, attraction to objects, activities and people in our environments.

Fifty factors in different combinations would give us a figure of 50! or 3.04140932 × 10/64.

The permutations and combinations of all the factors that create a human being may reach to the infinite.

Every person is unique and comes with a personal set of developmental needs and requests to meet those needs.

Brain researchers spent decades looking to find where certain information resides in the brain.

Their conclusion is that the more they learn about the brain, the less they know. Twenty years ago language skills were believed to be a function that took place in the brain’s left hemisphere.

Functional MRI’s show that language “lights” up areas all over the brain, and it is different for every person. Similar in cases, but different overall. Brain development and learning are unique to each person. Dreams and desires are also individualistic.

How do we design an educational system that honors the singularity of every individual?

We have to start with respect. Respect of each child’s efforts to grow into a person like no other person.

We need to always remember that parents are our children’s first and best teachers and that schools exist to be in partnership with families.

Our children are not stupid or lazy. Human beings are natural-born learners and experimenters.

Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist, in her book, My Stroke of Insight, talks about the following 12 therapeutic techniques that she needed in order to learn again after she suffered a stroke that affected her cognitive abilities. For wounded, substitute “young and inexperienced,” and you’ll see our children need these same techniques. Perhaps we all might benefit from this type of understanding and teaching.

12 therapeutic techniques 1. I am not stupid. I am wounded. Please respect me.

2. Repeat yourself. Assume I know nothing and start from the beginning, over and over.

3. Be patient with me the 20th time you teach me something as you were the first.

4. Approach me with an open heart, and slow your energy down. Take your time.

5. Do not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.

6. Cheer me on. Expect me to recover completely, even if it takes 20 years.

7. Break all actions down into smaller steps of action.

8. Look for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task.

9. Clarify for me what the next level or step is, so I know what I am working toward.

10. Remember that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move onto the next level.

11. Focus on what I can do, rather than bemoan what I cannot do.

12. Celebrate all of my little successes. They inspire me.

The brain is the world’s most powerful biological machine. We are born with a wonderful gift.

The problem is it doesn’t come with an operation manual.

Our educational challenge becomes how to unlock human potential, develop this potential, and set this potential free to be of help to each person, which will in effect, help us all in making this world a better place.

SAMA MEMBER SCHOOLS & TRAINING CENTRES IN SOUTH AFRICA Eastern & Southern Cape KwaZulu Natal Limpopo Mpumalanga Namibia North Gauteng (PTA) South Gauteng (JHB)

Western Cape Swaziland

Seychelles SAMA TRAINING INSTITUTIONS

Conscious Life Magazine

By Deborah Hanekamp

A 5-Minute Guided Meditation With Benefits That'll Last All Day The most important thing to remember when it comes to looking into practicing meditation as a mama is that motherhood is the meditation. We practice meditation in order to become more present, but nothing creates presence like the razor-sharp focus you get from trying to keep a tiny human alive! So try not to let meditation feel like one more thing you have to do today. You are doing enough. You are enough. Here's a quick meditation practice to remind you of that.

Mama Medicine's 5-minute meditation for mothers past, present, and future: 1.

Close your eyes and place both hands on that big beautiful heart of yours.

2.

And breathe into this place, reminding yourself how loving you are, that you are powerful because of the power of your love.

3.

Let that power radiate from your heart to your hands and from your hands back to your heart.

4.

Take another deep breath and lean into the power of your love for a moment.

5.

Send gratitude to all of the mothers who have come before you. Send hope to all of the mothers yet to come.

6.

In your mind's voice, tell yourself and all the mothers past, present, and future, "Because we are mothers, we can do anything.“

7.

8.

Take one last deep breath and lean into the power of your love for this sweet moment.

Open your eyes and notice how you feel.

I suggest you try this at night before you go to sleep or in the morning when you first wake up, but it can be done whenever you have a few moments to yourself.

Is CBD Oil Safe During Pregnancy?

by Cascia Talbert What is CBD Oil? CBD oil, also known as cannabidiol, is a very popular remedy in 2019. Many people use it to help them sleep, as a pain reliever, and to treat anxiety and depression. Is CBD oil safe to take during pregnancy or while breastfeeding?

When you are pregnant anything you ingest will affect your baby. That is why pregnant women need to be careful about everything that they put in their bodies, breathe in or absorb on their skin.

CBD oil comes from the cannabis plant. Unlike marijuana, CBD oil comes from cannabis plants that do not contain high levels of the mind altering compound THC. For this reason CBD oil is considered a lot safer. In place of THC, the hemp plant has more concentration of cannabinoids that are very helpful to the functioning of the body. The cannabis plant without high levels of THC, also known as hemp , is legal in legal in most countries and safe for elderly people, children, and even pets. Uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms can be treated with CBD oil, however many people still have their reservations about it.

Are There Risks Associated with CBD Oil During Pregnancy?

A lot of people that are against taking CBD oil for pregnancy believe that it is too risky. They claim that not enough studies have been conducted on the side effects and health risks to the baby. People that are for the use of CBD oil during pregnancy state that it is a safe and natural way to ease anxiety pain and depression. They argue that it is safer than taking a prescription medication.

Recent studies have shown that Marijuana adversely affects the endocannabinoid system, which is the system responsible for the creation of neurons and building brain pathways in the unborn baby’s brain. Because of this, The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has explicitly recommended the discontinuation of Marijuana use in pregnant women and lactating mothers. The government does not regulate CBD oil. This is the main reason why the ACOG does not recommend its use. Most Obstetricians and Gynecologists believe taking CBD oil while pregnant is a huge risk.

As stated previously, CBD oil comes from plants without high levels of THC. This make the supplement much safer for pregnant women. It may be okay for you to take CBD oil during pregnancy, but make sure you discuss it with your doctor first.

Safe Ways to Take CBD Oil During Pregnancy Oils, lotions and capsules containing 100% hemp extracts are the safest way to ingest CBD during pregnancy. Hemp oil is safe and legal in all 50 states. It is also widely available even in states where marijuana isn’t legal.

Avoid products that state “CBD Rich.” Most likely they contain trace amounts of THC. Pregnant women should not consume any THC. Pregnant women should also avoid smoking and products with potentially hazardous chemicals. It is best to stay away from edibles and anything that you make yourself.

Does CBD Oil Help Ease Pregnancy-Related Nausea?

Half of pregnant women experience nausea, also known as morning sickness. A recent study showed that cannabinoids may ease nausea and vomiting associated with pregnancy. Some women claim that taking CBD oil right away immediately relieves morning sickness. CBD may reduce nausea by interacting with serotonin receptors.

Is CBD Oil Safe While Breastfeeding?

One out of 1 out of every 7 women experience postpartum depression. Many new moms have an interest in taking CBD oil because it helps with anxiety and depression. Only 15% of women get treated for their postpartum depression. Many doctors do not screen for the condition.

Women with postpartum depression have a harder time bonding with their babies. Many of these children grow up with psychological problems when they get older.

The women that are treated for their postpartum depression are usually prescribed antidepressants. These drugs may or may not help but are safe for breastfeeding moms. Many of them also come with negative side effects such as weight gain, insomnia and diarrhea.

Research on CBD and Nursing Mothers Unfortunately there isn’t enough scientific research on the effects of CBD for nursing mothers.

But there have been studies on expectant and breastfeeding mothers and THC. A 2014 study

by Gunn et al. discovered that women who used cannabis during pregnancy had an increase in the odds of anemia compared with women who did not use cannabis during pregnancy. Infants exposed to cannabis in utero had a decrease in birth weight. The results concluded that women shouldn’t smoke marijuana while pregnant.

Several studies on breast milk and CBD have been conducted. They all determined that breast milk contains the same cannabinoids found in the marijuana plant and they are crucial for correct human development. Scientists are still researching relation to cannabinoids in breast milk. It is known that cannabinoids adhere easily to fat, which is abundant in breast milk. Today scientists are investigating whether the exposure of cannabis to the mother while breastfeeding has any relevance in the transmission of active components in the plant to newborns.

Due to the lack of research on how CBD effects breastfeeding mothers and their newborns it is not recommended that lactating moms take this supplement.

Can You use Topical CBD While Pregnant?

CBD creams are used to treat pain associated with arthritis, back pain, and sore muscles. CBD cream or hemp oil cream, can also help treat acne. Many pregnant women experience muscle aches and hormonal acne. Using topical CBD may ease these pregnancy symptoms.

If you are pregnant you should read the label and make sure the CBD cream does not contain THC before rubbing it on your sore back. Many topical CBD products are labeled hemp oil cream . Some of them are safe while others state, “talk to your doctor first if you are pregnant before using this product.” Make sure you read the label and ingredients carefully before using anything with CBD while pregnant

Conclusion CBD oil is a hot item in the United States today. It is a great pain reliever, can help people sleep, relieves anxiety, treats inflammation and eases nausea. Many people take a CBD supplement every day. Women who are already taking CBD may wonder if they can continue it’s use when they learn that they are expecting a baby. TCH found in marijuana has mind altering effects and scientific evidence proves that it is not safe for an unborn child. However, most CBD products do not contain THC. This leads many to believe that it may be safe for pregnant and lactating women. But, there are not enough studies on the effects of CBD on unborn babies and newborns.

CBD oil may be too risky for pregnant and lactating women. You should always read the product label thoroughly and discuss it with your doctor before taking a CBD supplement.

How to Increase Your Breast Milk Naturally Breastfeeding is said to be the healthiest way to provide your baby with the nutrition they need. However, many women struggle to breastfeed.

One common problem new mothers face is that they are unable to produce enough breast milk for their child. Fortunately, an herb known as shatavari can naturally help you increase your breast milk. Keep reading to learn more!

What is Shatavari?

Shatavari is a medicinal plant native to India and the Himalayas. It is often used in Ayurvedic practices for the health benefits it can provide. Its healing properties may be due to its high content of bioflavonoids, as well as zinc, calcium, and B vitamins.

Shatavari is referred to as the “queen of herbs � due to its ability to provide phytoestrogenic properties. These properties can help increase fertility in women and can also increase breast milk production in new moms.

It is best for women to take shatavari in later stages of pregnancy to ensure their breast milk supply is sufficient when it comes in. However, if women do not take shatavari during pregnancy and find they are not producing enough breast milk, they can also take it as a supplement while nursing to help with production.

How Does It Work?

It is believed that shatavari works to increase breast milk production by stimulating the release of prolactin and corticoids, which are responsible for improving both the quality and quantity of breast milk. It also may promote the secretion of steroid hormones that increase breast milk weight and ensure higher yields of breast milk.

Shatavari is not only recommended for how it can aid in the production of breast milk, it can also boost the overall health of women that are breastfeeding. It boosts the immune system and is helpful in fighting infections. It may also provide relief from common digestive problems like diarrhea, heartburn, and inflammation, as well as may improve mood to prevent postpartum depression.

Where to Get Shatavari Shatavari is available in powdered dietary supplements and capsules. It is recommended to take a 500 mg dose twice a day to aid in breast milk production. For maximum effectiveness, take it with warm milk.

Breastfeeding can be challenging for many new mothers. If you are having trouble creating enough breast milk to feed your baby, try including shatavari in your diet. Then find out how it may support a happier and healthier mother and child.

Healthy Moms Magazine.

Learning Requires Deep Time

By Maren Schmidt

Research shows that to master a subject requires 10,000 hours of concentrated practice. At 40 hours per week, 50 weeks a year, we’d need 5 years to become a master. Ratchet that time down to 20 hours per week and we are looking at 10 years. Ten hours a week of practice, we’ll need 20 years to reach master status.

Becoming good at something requires time and practice, and the time to practice.

Most of our children’s school days are interrupted by short whole-class instruction times, short practice times and no time to explore and research connections and possibilities. A visit to a first-grade classroom a few years ago showed me a “pod” of four classrooms changing teachers every 25 minutes. There was no time in the day for children to be reflective and have deep learning occur. Children shifted learning gears every 20 minutes instead of having time to learn “how-to-learn.”

Research indicates that there are desirable tasks that help optimize our ability to learn new skills.

Effective learning or skill building occurs when we can maximize these factors: • • • • • • •

We have the ability to focus our attention on the task at hand.

We have control over the choice of the task.

The task if meaningful to us, and we understand how to do it.

We have adequate time to practice the task, which research shows to be 60 to 90 minutes per day.

We control feedback, which is accurate and timely.

We have the opportunity to repeat the task daily or many times per week.

We have overnight rest between practice sessions.

Learning requires time. Deep time.

Time to develop attention, focus and concentration. Time to repeat––all day if necessary. Time to explore. Time to research. Students need time to freely choose learning activities.

Teachers need time. Time to understand each child’s personality, style, needs and dreams.

Parents need time to forge bonds of trust with teachers to meet their common goal of unlocking each child’s potential, developing that potential and setting it free to be of service to all.

What if teachers had 24 students in a classroom, each student for three years and only 8 new students entering and 8 older students leaving the classroom each year? What if parents and students only had one teacher to work with for three years?

Can you imagine the benefits of deep time?

After three years in one of these styles of classrooms, student, teacher and parent are halfway to the 10,000 hour mark of mastery in their respective roles.

As we take this second step of deep time in our move toward “exponential education,” I hope you are beginning to see that we can get off the old, broken-down bus and design a system that meets our learning needs–child and adult–in a powerful way.

By Amy McCreedy – Positive Parenting

I get it. You don’t want to yell at your kids. I’ve been a parenting educator for 15+ years and have never met a parent who felt like yelling was a good strategy. The only reason parents yell is because they are pushed to the brink and don’t have more effective tools to use.

We know from recent studies that yelling can have the same detrimental effects on a child as spanking—including increased anxiety, depression, stress, and other emotional disorders. And while yelling can be useful in some situations, if it is our default discipline strategy, we will fail to experience the long-term behavioral changes we hope to see in our children.

Why isn’t Yelling a Good Long-Term Strategy?

Parenting is a marathon—or more like 18 marathons strung together. When considering different discipline strategies, it’s vital we remember the end-game.

Sure, we’d like our son to walk through the candy aisle without throwing a tantrum. And we’d like our daughter to not wage war at the dinner table over the highly-controversial green vegetable.

The problem is, when we focus on those short-term issues, we have potential to create negative long-term effects.

Let’s consider the son in the candy aisle.

The short-term goal is to avoid a tantrum. And unfortunately, if we haven’t used any proactive parenting techniques, there are three ways well-intentioned parents try to curb the tantrum from happening over the bag of Skittles: 1.

2.

3.

Buy the bag of Skittles (quickest way to end the tantrum!)

Threaten to take away some other privilege at home Yell in the middle of the candy aisle and scare him into submission.

The problem is that each of these is a short-term solution to the issue, but all have long-term implications. Let’s break them down a little further.

Option 1: Buy the bag of Skittles This is a sure-fire way to stop the tantrum from happening in the candy aisle, but what are the long-term implications?

If your child knows you can be manipulated into buying a treat every time you go to the grocery store, this will most certainly lead to repeat tantrum performances and feelings of entitlement and greed.

A LOT of parents are concerned with the entitlement epidemic that plagues our children these days. I care so deeply about helping parents combat this issue that I wrote a whole book on it.

When a child is never told “no” or rarely has to “go without,” his feelings of entitlement will grow. He’ll likely have difficulty expressing gratitude as an adult and may lack the ability to compromise and work collaboratively as a teammate.

Sure, it might be easier in the short-term for YOU to not have him kicking and screaming on the linoleum tile between the gummy worms and tootsie rolls. But, let me assure you, it will be even more difficult to teach your TEENAGE son gratitude and curb his feelings of entitlement 10 years from now.

Option 2: Threaten to take away a privilege at home This short-term solution has the most potential to go sideways.

Are you really going to follow through when you get home?

If you do, is it really going to change your child’s behavior next time?

Worse yet, if you don’t follow through, how might this impact his behavior on the next grocery errand?

Kids are short-sighted creatures—they want immediate gratification, but they also need to experience timely consequences. By taking away technology two hours after the tempertantrum in the candy aisle, chances are the connection between the two will be long lost on your kid.

This short-sighted strategy has long-term implications. Your child will either realize: 1) You don’t follow through on grocery store threats so why should he listen to you at other times?

2) Your child will view this punishment as unfair since the grocery store behavior is unrelated to his technology privilege (See: No Yelling Consequences).

Option 3: Yell in the middle of the candy aisle I get it. You don’t want to yell—especially after that sweet grandma just walked by and told you how precious your son is.

Sure, you might embarrass yourself if you yell, but your kid needs to learn he can’t act this way.

So you yell for the 15th time.

“No! WE ARE NOT GETTING SKITTLES!!!”

The sound of your voice captures his attention long enough the tantrum stops, but now the guilt sets in.

Once again, you’re left unsatisfied. Sure, he may have stopped throwing the tantrum out of sheer fear, but will his behavior change next time. Did the yelling equip him with the appropriate behavioral tools to have a successful grocery run? Probably not.

Instead, you took a short-sided solution to a problem that, in the long-term, will only breed feelings of resentment or, even worse, fear towards his parent.

What Can You Do Instead of Yelling?

First, let’s take a deep breath. If you’re like me, you’re guilty of attempting all three discipline strategies mentioned above. I remember feeling absolutely out of control when it came to situations like the one in the grocery store.

You are not alone in this parenting journey. Please know the suggestions I’m about to offer you are battle-tested techniques and have helped thousands of families curb the yelling in their homes.

One of the fatal flaws in the discipline options mentioned above is they are all REACTIVE strategies. When parents only use reactive discipline techniques—time-out, counting to three, consequences, yelling—there are several implications: 1.

2.

3.

Parents are exhausted because REACTIVE parenting drains our energy much faster than proactive parenting.

We never understand and treat the ROOT of the misbehavior because we are so focused on STOPPING the misbehavior in the moment.

If we only react to situations we increase the likelihood we will yell because we aren’t equipped with more effective tools.

Strategy #1: Mind, Body and Soul Time (MBST) The most effective proactive parenting technique that serves as the crux to everything I teach is Mind, Body, and Soul Time or MBST. I encourage parents to spend 10-15 uninterrupted minutes of one-on-one time every day with each child. During this time, children call the shots—play a game of their choosing, sing karaoke to their favorite song, have an impromptu dance party, build an epic fort in the living room or simply read their favorite book.

By filling up your kid’s attention and power baskets in these 10 minutes, you ward off future misbehaviors—and thereby decrease the times you’d be prompted to yell.

Strategy #2: No Yelling Consequences To implement consequences in a meaningful way, you need to be clear about your expectations and ensure the consequence is related to the misbehavior. When children understand ahead of time what consequence will be put in place if they make a wrong choice AND that consequence is related to the misbehavior, there won’t be a need to yell.

Strategy #3: Connect and Empathize While proactive parenting greatly reduces the likelihood of outbursts, the truth is, we still need tools for IN THE MOMENT. So imagine, you’ve filled your son’s attention bucket proactively, but he still loses it in the candy aisle. Now what?

Instead of losing your cool, try to connect. Empathize with his feelings—”Wow, I know those Skittles are delicious and I can tell you’d really like some.” or “I know how hard it is when you really want something you can’t have.”

Your connection in this moment helps your son know you’re on his team. And sure, he still might throw a fit all the way through the store, but he will learn two things: 1.

2.

When you say no, it means no.

Even though you said no, you still love him and care about his big emotions.

Strategy #4: Whisper Do you want to know what’s better than yelling EVERY. TIME? Whispering, that’s what.

When your child’s frustration and voice goes high, you go low…so low the only way he can hear you is to actually be quiet.

Everyone likes to hear secrets and your child is no different. By whispering your response to his Skittles request or by telling him a silly little secret to distract from his meltdown, whispering has incredible benefits: 1.

2.

It actually brings YOUR heart rate down making you less likely to yell in anger.

It calms the energy of the entire situation down and encourages your child to listen.

Final Thoughts You can do this! Your yelling days (like mine) can be a thing of the past if you equip yourself with an arsenal of tools to use instead.

The greatest difference between parents who yell and parents who don’t is simply knowledge.

When you are adequately prepared to handle difficult parenting situations, you won’t NEED to yell.

By Lauren Handler Zander

How To Teach Your Kiddos Important Sustainability Lessons The U.N. warned us: We have 12 years before the damage we've done to the Earth becomes irreversible. Instead of letting reports like this paralyze us, let's use them to empower us. The experts are saying it's going to take a mix of large-scale change AND individual action to save our planet—and we want to help you do what you can. Consider our This One Thing series your no-excuses guide to cleaning up your act, one step at a time. Today, we're sharing how parents can raise the next generation of conscious consumers.

I wish I could tell you that the soul (purposeful typo) reason my three children (ages 10, 15, and 16) are environmentally conscious is because of me.

But it would be a lie.

It's not that I'm being modest. Far from it. If you knew me, you'd know that I'd readily, happily take credit for many of my kids' other qualities—both good and bad, emotional and physical.

But their water conservation? Can't do it. You see, it's not my bodega.

My bo-what-a?

Sure, if you're from the East Coast, you more than likely know that bodegas are small stores that sell everything. But, even so, what do I mean here in this digression? Early on in my marriage, I lived in Harlem, where there was a bodega on every block.

So, as I was figuring out my own marriage, the word "bodega" became a stand-in for each person's accountability in the relationship. A relationship isn't so different from running a momand-pop shop in that when it comes to the important stuff, it's all about divvying up the workload.

The problem: Raising eco-conscious children takes work, and it's not always easy in this day and age.

As a longtime life coach and corporate consultant, the problem I've seen in many relationships is that although partnerships can break down into different departments—from finances to fun to romance to sex to adventure to kids to holidays—hardly anyone is designing it or dividing it up that way. And how successful could a company ever be if no one steps up as CEO, sets a mission, divides, and conquers the actual work?

Curious about how the division gets split up? Well, it's rarely split fairly. The person who is better at the department gets it. And, if you both suck at it, then the person who complains about it the most gets it.

In my marriage, my husband David got a good portion of the bodegas: the children (school, activities, clothes), the house, the food, and the finances. After all, the poor thing was "cursed" with being great at almost anything he decided to do. I, on the other hand, genuinely complained about little.

I worked my (wagging) tail off, created a method, built a company, coached, commuted, and came home all genuinely googly-eyed and ready to lovingly champion him. I kept David true to his heart, head, and dreams. I was in charge of love, vacations, community, making money, and saving the planet.

Specifically…saving the inhabitants of the planet more so than the planet itself. Don't get me wrong. I care. (I was even an environmental studies major back in college!) I just brilliantly cared enough to marry someone who actively cared more. And subsequently, someone who instills his own ethics and environmental principles into the (many!) departments he runs in our marriage.

What's that look like? We live in a 1790 farmhouse. We have a wood-burning stove. We have chickens. We have foxes, raccoons, and hawks that eat said chickens. David builds, landscapes, and plows. He's taught the kids how to butcher meat, tend to bees, and shower sacredly.

The One Small Thing solution: Start with one habit change, like a "sacred shower.“ Shower how? One of the most beautiful things David has done to help foster our children's environmental responsibility is to make them conscious of every drop of water they use.

And I mean every. From the get-go. Teens included. How, pray-tell?

Ever since our kids learned how to take a shower, David taught them to turn off the water in between soaping themselves. To this day, they don't even really think it's done differently or, perhaps better yet, they really don't care how others do it. In their world (a green one) this is how it's done. Funny thing is, we even have a well. So, truth is, we have so much water it's silly.

Regardless, the value of water has been instilled.

It's a small win that'll hopefully go a long way in lessening their footprint. At the very least, it's a testament to the fact that once you make conservation part of kids' daily life from a young age, that consciousness tends to stick.

Finding out what type of cough you have can help you to get better quicker. It may be annoying to have an irritating cough, but coughing is an important part of your body’s lung-cleansing mechanism.

You’re coughing to keep your airways clear of unwanted phlegm and inhaled foreign matter. However, there are so many different types of cough that it can be difficult to interpret if they are a symptom of a bigger problem.

A simple cold may cause dry barking or wet, productive (phlegm-producing) hacking, but bronchitis, pneumonia or even GERD (Gastro Oesophageal Reflux Disease) could do the same.

However, the cause of most coughs can be identified by the length of time they persist. A cough that lasts longer than eight weeks is considered chronic – it will probably not go away without some remedial action. A cough that lasts fewer than 10 days will probably go away on its own.

Don’t head for the pharmacy for over-the-counter remedies, though. Cough suppressants do what they say – suppress the mucus that needs to be expectorated. That’s not what you want to do. That’s why our all-natural Herbal Cough Mix™ is recommended to ease any type of cough.

Beware if you have these symptoms If your cough is accompanied by fever, blood, green or yellow phlegm, chest pain or breathing difficulties, head off to your healthcare provider immediately.

Let’s find out what type of cough you have Most coughs indicate any of the following conditions:

1. Colds & Flu If you’ve caught a cold and it has brought with it a cough, both will probably disappear naturally within 10 days. If the cough is interfering with your daily activities, make sure you drink lots of fluids, especially hot ones, to keep your respiratory system hydrated. Inhaling steam can provide temporary relief – place your head over a basin of steaming water (drape a towel over your head to prevent the steam escaping) and breathe deeply to fill your lungs. Flora Force Herbal Cough Mix™ will help ease your cough and allow you to get on with your day.

2. Asthma Asthma is probably the second-most common cause of a cough. So says Margaret Lewin, M.D., assistant professor of Medicine at Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York City and medical director of Cinergy Health in Florida. ‘Some asthma sufferers, instead of loud wheezing, get only a dry cough.’ Asthma is a chronic bronchial condition that causes the air passages to tighten. An attack can be triggered by an upper respiratory infection or an allergic reaction to irritants like perfume, paints, fur and dust mites. If you are prone to asthma and are sensitive to changes in temperature, humidity and air pollution, an energetic workout at the gym can also set off an attack.

3. Post Nasal Drip Your cough may be caused by post-nasal drip, triggered by sinusitis, rhinitis (inflammation of the lining of the nose), allergies, fumes or an upper respiratory infection, says Dr Lewin. ‘The sinuses produce fluid that drips down the throat and that produces a cough, because your body won’t let you drown in your own secretions,’ she says. The cough can be dry or wet, accompanied by a tickling or sore throat. Avoid using decongestant sprays, which are used to dry up mucus, for longer than five consecutive days – overuse can lead to nasal passage damage and the inability to respond to the decongestant.

4. Acute bronchitis or pneumonia If you’ve been coughing for more than 10 days, it may be advisable to consult your healthcare professional to check for bronchitis or pneumonia, both bacterial and viral infections.

5. Smoker’s cough If you’re a smoker, the chances are that you greet every day with a throaty cough. To you, it may just be a ‘morning cough’, but that regular hack could be a sign of a more serious disease like chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) or lung cancer. COPD is an umbrella term for emphysema and chronic bronchitis. Emphysema occurs when the lungs’ air sacs are damaged, which leads to shortness of breath. Chronic, or long-lasting, bronchitis is an inflammation of the airways that comes with a deep, phlegmy cough that is nearly always associated with smoking.

We urge you to quit! Lung cancer generally only produces a cough when the air passages are affected.

6. Whooping cough Caused by bacteria and initially showing the symptoms of a cold, the comically named whooping cough is in fact a highly contagious condition. The cough is dry, hacking and typically high-pitched, and can be so persistent that people can become short of breath.

Coughing in babies or toddlers may be caused by bronchiolitis (a viral infection of the small air passages in the lungs). Spasms of coughing followed by a distinctive whooping sound are characteristic of whooping cough. Children with whooping cough also tend not to want to eat or drink, and need immediate medical attention.

Place a humidifier in the child’s bedroom. It will loosen the phlegm and soothe irritated lungs.

7. Reflux (GERD) In some people suffering with acid or non-acid reflux (the back-up of stomach fluids into your oesophagus), the only symptom may be a cough, not heartburn.

8. Croup A child suffering with croup will have a harsh, barking cough and find it difficult to breathe because his voice box and windpipe have become inflamed. Croup is often worse at night or in winter. Caused by a viral or bacterial infection, croup may be distressing but is rarely dangerous.

Steam is the best home remedy. Create a steamy atmosphere by boiling a kettle safely in the bedroom, running a shower of a hot bath, or using an electric vaporiser.

What’s Your Take Away?

Were you able to figure out what type of cough you or your child has? Do you know when to go see a health professional to get a cough seen to? Have you found natural cough mix to be of help? We’d love to know your experience – it’ll be great of you share with us on Facebook .This article was adapted in part from ‘Types of Coughs and What They Mean’ by Dorothy Foltz-Gray, published in Lifescript>, a US online health magazine for women.

Conscious Life Magazine

What Are Your Kids Projecting Into Their Future?

Do you teach your kids to project good things into their future?

Most of us have been programmed to project fear, doubt, worry and anxiety into our future lives. We tend to focus on what happens if things don't work out.

This is a negative use of the mind and a negative projection into the future of your life.

Remember that you are indeed creating your life with every thought and word you speak. The same holds true for your kids.

As I witness the number of young people experiencing anxiety at various levels, I can see how they are projecting negativity into their future and therefore creating it.

There are so many things we teach kids to worry about. They all fall under the umbrella of lack and limitation. Basically a belief that says "I am not good enough" in some way.

Our schools do not teach kids to project abundance into their future because they are simply not aware of the power of conscious creation

What if you can support your kids to eliminate the anxiety they are feeling by programming them with an abundant mindset?

Can the answer be that simple? Yes. But it does take a level of commitment on your part to be consistent in your own modeling of an abundant mindset.

An example of modeling an abundant mindset to your kids is saying "I look for what is going right in my life and celebrate that."

What you focus on grows, as with the Law of Attraction, we attract to us whatever we are vibrating in resonance with.

There are many ways you can begin to model an abundant mindset for your kids and it all starts with you.

Not only will your life change as a result of making this shift, your kids will absorb the energy and life-style changes that you are making and it will be much more easy for them than it has been for you because they haven't been living with many decades of repeated programming.

The Myth Of Sharing

By Maren Schmidt

Parents, picture this scene: Your folks stop by to visit with two people you don’t know, but are close to your age.

Your dad says, “Give me your car keys, please. John saw your new car and he wants to take it for a spin. I know you’d want to share.

Oh, and Sue wants to wear your earrings, the diamond ones. Now, let’s be nice and share.”

Yikes!

There are some things we don’t want to share and we would be upset if someone suggested we should. Some items are personal, or the risk of damage is too high. We wouldn’t want to pay for our wrecked car or lost jewelry. Of course, there are items that we can feel comfortable sharing when there are clear expectations and consequences.

Young children feel the same way about sharing. Before age six (until the first tooth falls out), children are in a developmental stage of self-mastery. Child initiated activities of the three to six-year old build concentration and skills through repetition. These activities also have an observable beginning, middle and end. For example, if your child was working on a building project and was asked to share his blocks in the middle of the job, he might express frustration; just as we might if someone took our keys while we were driving.

After the age of six, group work instead of self-mastery becomes the focus of the child’s activities. Sharing an activity is now developmentally appropriate and actually aids in the learning process. Before the age of six, the child is focused on developing individual skills and can feel violated if we allow others to use his or her things.

You may recall from your growing-up experience or from watching your children interact, that many sibling arguments arise from touching, using, or borrowing a brother’s or sister’s personal items.

Having a simple rule can eliminate many of these conflicts.

When someone is using an item no one else may touch it, unless they ask permission from the user. A no answer must be respected. Defining an area for the activity by using a small rug or placemat will help make it visually clear what items are being used. The user is finished with an item when it is back on the shelf, ready for the next person to use it.

Certain toys, such as building blocks, puzzles and board games, can be designated as family toys.

Family toys can be kept on low shelves. Family toys are used much like a community shares resources such as a library, pool and parks. We all can’t check out the same book at once, but we can take turns and share. We have common ownership with explicit rules and expectations Personal toys can be kept in bedrooms. One family uses their locked hall closet to keep toys that are not to be touched by anyone but the owner.

Having family toys also makes it easier to have no-tears activities for visiting children. Visitors can choose an activity after they have been told the rules about not touching other’s things and putting things away when finished.

Understanding what sharing really means can help us foster a sense of family community with our children. Knowing what is age appropriate along with clear rules and expectations for usage can help our children avoid conflict and tears.

Rules for Family Toys • • • •

Choose your activity.

Work on a rug or mat. (Define your work activity.)

Ask permission to touch anyone’s activity.

Put your activity away when you’re finished.

By Meredith Gavrin

Teaching Your Teen How to Self-Advocate at School As a school administrator, I occasionally encounter parents waiting in the front office who greet me by announcing, “I’d like to meet with my child’s teacher right now.”

In these situations, I start by explaining that the teacher cannot meet immediately because they’re teaching. Then I follow that by asking, “What did you want to talk about?”

Once, a parent wanted to meet with a math teacher because her son was struggling in the class.

“The teacher doesn’t help my son,” she told me. “He says he asks for help, but she just ignores him and helps other kids or runs out of time and says she’ll have to help him next time. That’s not right.”

In some instances, a meeting is indeed necessary, though it should be scheduled in advance to allow the teacher time to prepare. Perhaps a child’s behavior had been inappropriate and the parent wants to meet with both teacher and student to clear the air. Or the parent is hearing conflicting messages about homework and wants to meet with the teacher to review expectations.

In other cases, the issue at hand is better served by a conversation between the student and the teacher. As parents, we have the best of intentions and are eager to support our children’s education, but it’s also important to help teens learn self-advocacy skills for themselves.

How can parents know when to step in and when to step back?

How to Help Your Teen Self-Advocate: Step 1: Talk to your teen.

If this were your child, I’d encourage you to start by asking your child some questions: • • •

When during class are you asking for her help?

How are you asking? Do other kids ask differently? How so?

What other options could you try?

In thinking these questions through with your child, presume best intentions: “Let’s assume the teacher wants to help you. Let’s figure out what’s going on and how to explain to her that you don’t think you’re getting the help you need.”

Step 2: Consider different strategies.

The second step is to help your child think about what he can request from the teacher that would be most helpful: • • •

One-on-one help after school?

A chance to be the first one helped during the next class period, if possible?

Answers to a few specific math questions by email?

Step 3: Let your teen take the lead.

The third step is to encourage your child to reach out to their teacher. Rather than having your child speak to the teacher in person when you can’t be there to observe and sort out your child’s perception of the situation, ask your child to draft an email to the teacher, explaining the situation, and to copy you on the email.

Use this opportunity to teach your child how to best to communicate with their teacher by using appropriate tone and grammar. What teens send to a teacher, professor, or employer should not sound like their texts to friends. As an educator, I have received too many emails that go something like this: “hey miss I need u to check my homework & let me know if I need anything else & get back to me asap!!!”

Having your teen copy you on the email (“Cc”) enables you to bear witness to both your child’s communication and the teacher’s response without insinuating yourself into the conversation directly. If a situation does arise where you feel you need to intervene, you can use the email as evidence of prior efforts to communicate.

These self-advocacy skills are at least as important to learn as the quadratic equation or trigonometric functions. Our adolescent children need to figure out how to navigate communicating with adults in preparation for college, the workplace, and adult relationships. If we’re always intervening on their behalf, they never get the opportunities to practice.

Nevertheless, there are times when it is appropriate for a parent to intervene directly.

When to Intervene: 1.

2.

If a teacher does not respond at all or responds without empathy or understanding If the teacher’s response doesn’t resolve the issue, it would be appropriate to request an appointment to sit down together and perhaps have a school administrator join you.

3.

4.

If a situation is more than just instructional If, for example, a teacher repeatedly uses offensive language in the classroom or makes your child feel unsafe in some way, then by all means schedule an appointment to meet and ask for an administrator to be present.

5.

6.

If your child continues to struggle If your teen’s efforts to advocate for themselves have not solved the problem and their frustration is becoming an obstacle, it may be time to step in as well.

If you choose to intervene, it is important for your child to use their voice. In a meeting, even if you are there, your child can describe the situation, explain how it makes them feel, and ask for specific changes that would help them feel safe and able to learn. You are there if your child needs you, and your presence tells both your teen and the teacher that their education is important to you.

By Ryan Gallagher

Rebuilding Trust: What Happens After a Mom Shows Up to a Party in Her PJ’s Murphy’s Law is the idea that “What can happen, will happen,” or more appropriately in this scenario, “What can go wrong, will go wrong.” My friends and I have taken to blaming the small inconveniences in our lives to Murphy’s Law. We often share a good laugh after looking at one another when something bad happens. We just say “Yep, Murphy’s Law.” There really is no better example of this idea than that fateful Friday night five years ago.

I had taken all the necessary precautions. My voice was calm and steady when I asked if I could go to my girlfriend’s house. I made it sound as routine as possible, like the many times I had asked before. I didn’t rush out the door to reveal any extraordinary excitement. I even turned left out of the driveway when I needed to turn right to go to my friend’s house. I thought I was a genius.

Those proud feelings I had for myself came crashing down when I walked outside and found my Mom staring flames into my soul in the middle of my friend’s driveway.

When I first got the text asking me to check for her wallet in my car, it felt off to me. Something in my head went off and said, “Something isn’t right, why would she ask me to go outside right this moment and check?” I quickly shook off the feeling and told myself I was being crazy. So I went to my car to check.

There are few things in my life I remember more clearly than the image of my Mom standing there in the driveway. Her arms were crossed, and the streetlight behind her made her appear as a dark silhouette. Honestly, it was completely and utterly terrifying. I begged her not to go inside. Please, Mom, I pleaded, just let me drive my car home. I don’t think I’ve experienced a moment where I’ve felt as ashamed as I did that night.

In the following weeks, my parents made it my responsibility to earn their trust back. When my dad got home from his business trip, I sat down with both of them to talk about the whole incident. My Mom, while explaining how I had demolished the level of trust between us, asked me how they were now supposed to know if I was ever really going where I said I was going.

Rebuilding trust was a big issue.

Miraculously, a solution presented itself. Off the top of my head (and not really as a serious solution), I said I would send pictures of each place I went to when I arrived. I remember my mom looking at my dad for a second, surprised I had actually presented a viable answer to her question. They thought about it for a second and then agreed to the idea. For the next couple of months, I sent pictures to my mom of restaurants, bowling alleys, the high school weight room, my friend’s basement, and a long list of other locations.

As a teenager, I thought I could get away with anything.

I thought I could maneuver my way around obstacles and make it up as I went along, building in little lies here and there to get by. That night taught me that eventually it all comes crashing down. It just was not worth it. I learned that I’d rather have my parents say no when I ask than experience their disappointment in me when I lie.

Since that night, I have been more open with my parents when I want to do something or go somewhere. I think now, at the ripe and wise age of 21 (with surely no mistakes left to make), I realize that the sooner you show your parents you can have a mature, adult relationship that is built on trust, the better the relationship will be.

So many years later, that story always makes my mom and me laugh. I know she thought she was the most badass mom in America that night. I will admit that it was an impressive and elaborate plan to form on the fly. But in the end, it’s just Murphy’s Law.

By Catherine Brown

Male Body Image Issues—Body Image Affects Boys, Too Like many teen and tween boys, Maria Lianos-Carbone’s 12-year-old son wants six-pack abs. To achieve that goal, he has stopped eating sugary treats to avoid gaining fat that would potentially cover those desirable muscles. Her 14-year-old has also been worrying about his weight and what he eats.

“As they’re both engaged in sports, they’ve always been active and athletic,” says LianosCarbone, who runs the blog A Mother World. “They look up to their favorite athletes for inspiration and have been influenced by them with their own body image.”

Over the years, media attention about body image has focused primarily on girls, particularly because of the persistent myth that teenage girls are at highest risk for developing eating disorders. Research has found, however, that eating disorders affect people of all ages, races, and genders.

“A Harvard University study indicated that 25 percent of people with eating disorders are male,” explains Melainie Rogers, Founder and Executive Director of Balance Eating Disorder Treatment Center in New York. “Another study has discovered that men engage in eating disorder behaviors, including binge eating, purging, laxative abuse, and fasting, nearly as often as women.”

The issue of boys and body image has received attention recently, thanks in part to athletes like former Seattle Mariners baseball player Mike Marjarma. Marjarma publicly shared his struggles with an eating disorder and talked about how his disorder developed in part from his desire to achieve the perfect male body he saw in the media.

Marjarma’s struggle to achieve that physical ideal led to severe food restriction and purging and ultimately to in-patient treatment.

Research has found that exposure to unrealistic body imagery on social media can lead to dissatisfaction for both genders.

“Just as girls try to look like idols, boys look up to those models that are considered to be physically desirable,” says Ana Jovanovic, a licensed psychotherapist with Parenting Pod. “They are both affected by what they perceive to be societal norms.”

The key difference between boys and girls is the ideal they strive to achieve. In many cases, boys want to bulk up and have more defined muscles, while girls strive to be thinner.

“The type of body image ideal then dictates the behaviors they will then engage in to attempt to achieve that ideal,” says Rogers, “leading to starving and dieting in girls, bulking up and overconsuming protein, supplements, and steroids in boys.”

For both boys and girls, the desire to achieve a certain ideal body can lead to low self-esteem and unhealthy habits.

There are things that parents can do to help teen boys develop healthy body images.

4 Ways to Foster a Healthy Body Image: 1. Limit social media usage.

Research suggests that the more social media a person consumes, the less satisfied they are likely to be with their bodies.

Lianos-Carbone sees that with her sons. “I do think my boys are trying to emulate what they see from their favorite YouTubers and singers/rappers, who always seem to be showing off their abs,” she says.

2. Talk with your sons about the images of men they see in the media.

Media literacy can help combat media influence on body image.

“Normalizing the idea that bodies come in many shapes and sizes is not only an important message for young girls, but for young boys as well,” explains Rogers. The National Eating Disorders Association has a media literacy toolkit on their website.

3. Emphasize the importance of traits not related to appearance.

“Support your kids in understanding what their best qualities are— creativity, intellect, passions, friendliness, etc.” says Jovanovic. “It is important that they not tie their value to their physical appearance.”

4. Know that conversations about body image may be challenging.

“Because body image issues are traditionally thought of as being a “woman’s problem,” boys are likely to feel extra shame,” says Jovanovic.

Both Rogers and Jovanovic encourage parents to engage their sons in open dialogue around body image. Keep the discussion relaxed and informal.

And know that even if they’re preoccupied while you’re talking, they’re still listening.

The Shocking Truth Of What Causes Addiction

By Dylan Harper

What is Really Behind Addiction?

Ever notice how frequently the word “addict” is used? Just do a Google News search on the word and you’ll be shocked at just how often it’s used in a headline.

Articles are plastered with mentions of drug addicts, sex addicts, gambling addicts, food addicts, shopping addicts, work addicts and internet addicts. “These people” are painted as out-of-control and often menaces to society who need to be stopped, jailed, medicated or otherwise cut off.

But what if those diseased people weren’t sick at all? What if you suddenly realized you were one of them? Well, that’s what happened to me. In preparation for this podcast, I realized I’m an addict. I’m an addict who comes from other addicts, who has passed it onto my kids, too. I’m constantly looking for a way to not be with myself, a way to avoid the pain that I have, of not having meaningful bonds.

A Different Way of Looking at Addiction Physician and best-selling author, Gabor Maté, shares the shocking truth about what causes addiction and the things we can do to address the problem. What’s cool about Gabor is that he avoids quick-fix thinking when he tackles things like addiction, ADHD, sickness and the human spirit overall. Rather, he shines lights on the often uncomfortable truths that live at the root of these things.

Born in Hungary, Gabor survived the Holocaust, became a doctor and worked for over 20 years with patients with hard-core drug addictions, mental illness and HIV before writing In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, When the Body Says No, Scattered Minds, and Hold on to Your Kids (you can learn more on his website www.drgabormate.com).

Our brief but information-packed conversation even helped me understand why I love podcasting. These conversations are sort of accelerated intimacy that create quick bonds with each person I talk to and anything that helps me bond, lessens the painful void I have from having that very thing growing up.

I remember hearing somewhere that the purpose of life is to create meaningful connections with others. After this conversation with Gabor, I know you’ll have a new point of view of exactly why that’s so important and how and why we as individuals, families and cultures have strayed so far from it.

Published on Oct 9, 2012

Canadian physician Gabor Maté is a specialist in terminal illnesses, chemical dependents, and HIV positive patients. Dr. Maté is a renowned author of books and columnist known for his knowledge about attention deficit disorder, stress, chronic illness and parental relations. His theme at TEDxRio+20 was addiction -- from drugs to power. From the lack of love to the desire to escape oneself, from susceptibility of the being to interior power -- nothing escapes. And he risks a generic and generous prescription: "Find your nature and be nice to yourself."

Dylan Harper Dylan is a 32-year-old surfer from California. He traveled the world, rode the waves and learned the universal concept of oneness. He is a vegan for over a decade and, literally, wouldn't hurt a fly. He was reunited with his twin soul in Greece, where they got married and settled... for now. Dylan is a staff writer for DreamcatcherReality.com and teaches surfing to children.

Minimize Screen Time & Maximize Playtime With This One Trick Imagine an independent playtime, where your child learns, develops new skills—and that doesn't involve tablets, television, beeping-bopping toys, or headache-inducing clutter.

According to Simone Davies, teacher and author, it exists. Davies is the author of the new book The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide To Raising A Curious and Responsible Human Being, where she breaks down the century-old teaching method.

The Montessori method is a child-rearing framework with the basic principle that children, naturally, are eager to be independent and learn if you give them an encouraging environment.

"It subverts our normal expectations for teaching, which is top-down: where the teacher stands in front of the room and leads the classroom," says Davies. "In this method, we let the children control what and how they learn [within certain perimeters]. It creates a setting that is very hands-on; we want them to engage and grow by trying it all out for themselves."

So what does this mean exactly for playtime? Giving over some of the reins of control to your child. (That's it; that's the trick.) "It sounds intimidating to a lot of adults," says Davies. "But you'll find your kid is way better at it than you would have ever thought."

Here, how to use the method in your own life.

Let them pick screen time If your child is old enough for screens, agree on a time limit that you feel comfortable with. (Try 30 minutes, says Davies.) Then, in true Montessori fashion, let them decide what that time means: "Maybe they want to watch television, play a computer game, or be on the internet," says Davies. "Obviously you can monitor what program or game, but letting them choose what 'screen time' means to them makes the time more exciting.“ Most important, however, is to make sure you're not just giving them a screen mindlessly. "A few minutes here, a minute there—that adds up," says Davies. "Before you know it, they've spent hours a day on your phone." This screen time, however, becomes more of a crutch rather than an active, engaging choice for your child. Of course, notes Davies, this might mean creative intervention while in public: When they get restless at, say, a restaurant, instead of handing them a game on your phone, maybe it means going to look at the people on the street or opening a coloring book.

Fewer toys leads to better play Maximizing your kid's playtime is shockingly (and purposefully) simple: By reducing overstimulation and letting them pick what they play with, they'll engage more with the activities you've given them. "Less is more," says Davies.

Stick to six to 10 options ("Your child can only master a few skill sets at a time," says Davies).

And keep it within reach of the child, so it's easily accessible during playtime. "You should think about things through your child's perspective—literally get on their level and see how they view the space," says Davies. When you can see how your child views the play space, you can curate what toys or activities they are drawn to, "instead of the remote or iPad," says Davies.

Davies also recommends toys made with natural materials, like wood, metal, and paper, instead of those plastic, flashy things. First, your child is going to be touching and playing with these, so you'll feel more comfortable with them doing so with natural materials. Second, the tactile sensation will be different for each material—not like plastic, which tends to feel the same—so it's a more stimulating experience. (Oh, it's also more sustainable.)

A few good examples: Give them a bin of wooden blocks and let them build, a tray with tools for water painting, a basket of their favorite books, or a puzzle. (As for your other toys? Donate or store away!)

Keeping the space calm will help "I'm not sure at what point we decided that kids' decorations should be overwhelmingly bright, but that doesn't help guide them because they don't know where to look," says Davies.

"Instead, create a calming neutral backdrop where they'll only be drawn to the bright, fun activities.“ Then, designate space for the activities: Create a cozy reading nook with blankets and pillows, keep art supplies on a tray so they know what goes together, or provide a yoga mat for them to play with Legos on.

This might take more preparation now, but in the long term, the results will be more rewarding for you and your child.

EST. 2005

CALL FOR SPECIALS

Cuban Beans and Rice Cuban Beans and Rice Beans and rice can be a simple, satisfying meal for the entire family. In Cuba, beans are often cooked with a seasoning mixture called sofrito, made from garlic, onion, bell pepper, tomato, cumin, and oregano. Try combining this version of Cuban beans and rice with a crisp green salad of lettuce, cabbage, and tomatoes.

Add a little sweetness with fresh pineapple and banana. Serves 4 - 6.

Ingredients

Instructions

• • • • •

Make the beans

• • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • • •

Cuban Beans 3tbsp vegetable oil ½ red onion cut into ¼-inch pieces 4 garlic cloves minced 1 green or red bell pepper cut into ¼inch pieces 2 tomatoes cut into ½-inch pieces ¾tsp ground cumin ¾tsp dried oregano ¾tsp salt ¼tsp black pepper 3cans (15 oz. ea.) black beans rinsed and drained 1can (15 oz.) red beans rinsed and drained 1cup water 1whole bay leaf ¼cup fresh cilantro leaves chopped lime wedges(optional) Yellow Rice 1tbsp vegetable or olive oil ½tsp turmeric 1½cups long grain white rice 3cups water ½tsp salt

Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the chopped onion and cook until softened, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and bell pepper and continue to cook, stirring often, for several minutes more. Add the tomatoes and cook until softened. Stir in the cumin, oregano, salt, and pepper and cook for 1 to 2 minutes. Add the beans, water, and bay leaf, stirring to combine.

Increase the heat to medium high and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes. Just before serving, stir in the cilantro.

Make the rice In a saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the turmeric and rice and cook for about 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add the water, increase heat to high and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for about 20 minutes, until all of the liquid has been absorbed.

Remove from heat. Do not stir the rice. Let the rice sit for at least 5 minutes before serving.

To serve Spoon the beans over the yellow rice and serve with a wedge of fresh lime. Serve pineapplebanana salad and green salad on the side.

Potato Pancakes Potato Pancakes Baking potatoes, often called russet or Idaho potatoes, make the best potato pancakes.

Potato pancakes are a perfect example of how a few simple ingredients can make a satisfying breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Serves 4 - 6.

Ingredients • • • • • • • • •

3 baking potatoes Peeled (about 4½ cups grated potatoes) 1 green onion thinly sliced 2 eggs beaten ¾tsp salt ¾cup whole wheat flour ¼tsp freshly ground black pepper 1tbsp vegetable oil Additional vegetable oil for cooking 1cup sour cream (optional)

Instructions Grate peeled potatoes directly into a bowl of water. Transfer the grated potatoes into a colander and press them to squeeze out as much liquid as possible.

In a bowl, mix together the eggs, salt, pepper, and vegetable oil. Add the flour, whisking to combine. Add the potatoes and sliced green onion and mix well.

Heat a skillet over high heat. Spread a small amount of oil evenly over the surface. Spoon about 2 tablespoons of the potato mixture to form each potato pancake. Flatten the pancakes with a spatula and cook until dark golden brown on both sides and cooked through. Serve immediately topped with applesauce and sour cream, if using.

"I'm scared I'll forget you..."

From the perspective of a young child, Joanna Rowland artfully describes what it is like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. Heartfelt and comforting, The Memory Box will help children and adults talk about this very difficult topic together. The unique point of view allows the reader to imagine the loss of any they have loved - a friend, family member, or even a pet. A parent guide in the back includes information on helping children manage the complex and difficult emotions they feel when they lose someone they love, as well as suggestions on how to create their own memory box.

The Memory Box is a 2017 Moonbeam Children's Book Awards winner--a contest intended to bring increased recognition to exemplary children's books and their creators, and to support childhood literacy and life-long reading.

The reds, the yellows, and the blues all think they're the best in this vibrant, thought-provoking picture book from Arree Chung, with a message of acceptance and unity.

In the beginning, there were three colors . . .

Reds, Yellows, and Blues.

All special in their own ways, all living in harmony―until one day, a Red says "Reds are the best!" and starts a color kerfuffle. When the colors decide to separate, is there anything that can change their minds?

A Yellow, a Blue, and a never-before-seen color might just save the day in this inspiring book about color, tolerance, and embracing differences.

Conscious Life Magazine

Avoid Dreaded Litterbox Issues in 5 Simple Steps

Photo by Dương Nhân from Pexels

Written by Dr. Karen Shaw Becker Many novice kitten parents have lots of questions about how to give their furry little charges the best start in life, and one of those questions is often, "How do I teach my new kitty to use a litterbox?”

Most kittens at about 4 weeks can use a litterbox as long as the walls of the box are low enough that she can hop in and out on her own.

It's usually this simple: after she eats, put her in the box, and let nature take its course. It may take a few tries, but she should catch on quickly and begin seeking out the box on her own.

The good news is kittens don't really need much training to use their box, because the adorable, fluffy little things seem to just naturally understand where to do their tiny business. With that said, there are some things you can do to avoid those dreaded litterbox issues so many cat parents deal with, and ensure your kitten develops polite potty manners now and for the rest of her nine lives.

No. 1 — Let Your Kitten Choose His Litter Cats, including tiny ones, have individual preferences that extend to the type of litter they favour. Studies on the types of litter cats prefer show they're quite choosy about particle size.

The cat's Conscious Life Magazine

evolutionary substrate, for potty purposes, is sand. When kitties started living indoors, clay litter came along and most cats were okay with it. But clay has its own issues, as do cornand wheat-based litters.

These days, there's a mind-boggling selection of organic and natural types of litters on the market, but many of them feature big particle sizes, which don't appeal to most cats. Kitties also don't like synthetic scents or odour control additives in their litter.

The litter I use for my own cats is our own Biocharged Kitty Litter made with organic biochar. Biochar has a large surface area and is a recalcitrant, which means the charcoal itself holds onto things such as water and smells. This litter also has excellent clumping properties, which means it lasts longer and there's less total wetness and mess. It's also 100 percent biodegradable and compostable. And it's entirely fragrance-free, because the carbon helps to lock in odours.

You can discover your kitty's litter preference by buying the smallest amount available of several kinds of litter, and several inexpensive plastic litter pans. Place the pans with different litters (about 4 inches deep per pan) side by side and see which gets used most often. Once he's made his decision, consider donating the unchosen litter and (cleaned) litter pans to a local shelter or cat rescue.

insuring your kitty uses it (and only it). She should be able to comfortably get in and out of the box, and it should be large enough for her to turn around inside.

A box with high sides may seem like a good idea if kitty is a litter-kicker, and that's fine as long as no matter her age or physical condition, she can easily get in and out of it. If yours is a multi-cat household, remember the rule for the number of litterboxes needed: one for each cat, plus one extra.

Also, since almost all boxes are plastic, you should plan to replace your litterbox at regular intervals, because while plastic boxes are inexpensive, lightweight and easy to clean, there are downsides, including the fact that they get scratched up.

When kitty digs down through the litter to cover her pee or poop, her sharp claws scrape the bottom and sides of the box.

After a while, these nicks and scuffs attract germs and odour that can remain even after you disinfect the box. It's a good idea after cleanings to check your litterbox for scratched or abraded plastic. Budgeting for a new box each year is a good idea.

No. 2 — Select the Perfect Litterbox While most cats are less picky about the actual box than the litter it holds, some do balk at covered boxes. The good news is that if you purchase a box with a cover, you can simply keep the lid off if it seems to be a problem for your kitten.

Your best choice in a litterbox is one that is easy for you to keep scrupulously clean, since box cleanliness is a critical component in

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No. 3 — Find the Best Location for the Litterbox Cats evolved as both predator and prey for larger animals, which is why they feel most vulnerable when eating and eliminating. For this reason, you'll want to select a location for the litterbox that is somewhat out of the way, in a non-high traffic area of your home, and away from noisy household machinery and appliances. Choose a warm location in the house rather than the basement or garage.

And make sure the box isn't too close to kitty's food or water bowls.

These days, many cat parents who have guest or extra bathrooms that don't get used very often keep their boxes in the bathtub, which helps contain the litter, and makes clean-ups easier. If kitty has no problem getting into and out of both the tub and his box, this might be a good idea for your household as well.

No. 4 — Keep the Litterbox Meticulously Clean Cats, from the tiniest kittens to the geriatric set, are fastidious creatures. Since your new feline BFF can neither scoop nor scour her own litterbox, she depends on you to keep it up to her cleanliness standards.

It's important to note that many kitties, particularly as they get older, can develop an aversion to a less-than-pristine litterbox.

Especially if you use unscented litter, you must be disciplined about scooping the box.

This means twice a day scooping of all poop and urine clumps.

After scooping, I also recommend removing any litter stuck to the sides or bottom of the box with a damp paper towel. Dry the area thoroughly with another paper towel before scooping dry litter back over it. Keeping the sides and floor of the box clean and dry may help extend the time between full box cleanouts.

Photo by Alice Castro from Pexels

Dispose of all used litter and clean the box as often as necessary, but definitely every two weeks, minimum. It's important to wash the container thoroughly to remove as much odour as possible so that your kitty doesn't become unwilling to use her box due to a lingering smell.

Wash the box with plain hot water. If you use soap, choose a natural, fragrance-free variety.

Avoid any cleaning product that is scented or contains potential toxins. As I mentioned earlier, plastic litterboxes should be replaced every year or two. The secret to controlling cat box odor, for the benefit of all family members, including your kitty, is to keep the litterbox in pristine condition.

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No. 5 — Never Punish Your Kitten (or Adult Cat) for Missing the Litterbox If your kitten is a little slow getting the hang of his litterbox, if you catch him about to eliminate elsewhere, gently scoop him up and put him in his box. If you find a mess he left behind, simply clean it up using these tips.

Please don't raise your voice, yell, handle him roughly or rub his face in his accident. You'll just frighten the little guy, and he won't make the connection between his mistake and your behaviour. All he'll take away from being yelled at or roughly handled is that he should fear you.

At some point in their lives, many cats develop issues using the litterbox. Try to keep that fact in mind as your kitten matures and throughout his life, with the understanding that it will be up to you to find and resolve the cause.

Photo by Min An from Pexels

Conscious Life Magazine

Written by Dr. Karen Shaw Becker

If you have a dog in the family, make no mistake, at some point there will be dog vomit. Perhaps you've already had the pleasure. It may happen outside, or it may happen indoors. It may happen without warning, or it may happen after Princess makes a few tell-tale coughing or gagging sounds.

The reason I'm discussing this lovely topic today is because many pet parents aren't exactly sure what's happening when something suddenly flies out of their dog's mouth. For example, did you know there's a difference between vomiting and regurgitating? Having this information can be extremely helpful in determining whether you should call your veterinarian, and what to tell him or her at your appointment.

Since your dog isn't likely to agree to a repeat performance at the vet's office, knowing what he was doing before you get there is beneficial in diagnosing the problem. And if you can manage it, take a video of the event and bring it with you to your appointment. It may seem weird, but it can actually help your vet arrive at a solid diagnosis in much less time than it might otherwise take.

Vomiting Versus Regurgitation Most veterinarians, when presented with the "vomiting pet," first have to determine whether the animal is actually vomiting or is instead regurgitating. Deciding which is happening is very important, because the problems have different causes and different treatment approaches.

If your dog is about to vomit, he feels nauseous. His abdominal walls are beginning to contract.

He may drip or drool saliva or begin licking his lips right before he retches. Often there's a

heaving motion in which his abdominal muscles begin to contract several times before he actually empties the contents of his stomach onto your floor.

Per PetMD, vomiting involves "the forceful ejection of stomach and upper abdominal contents."

Further, vomit contains "yellow bile or partially digested dog food," and "usually smells sour and involves heaving."1 If your dog regurgitates, chances are he'll simply open his mouth and out will come part of the undigested food he just swallowed or the water he just drank. Regurgitus (an actual word) originates from either the oesophagus or the pharynx (the back of the throat), which is why sometimes it's shaped like a tube. It's typically a mixture of food, saliva and sometimes mucus — but not bile. There's usually no warning with regurgitation — for your dog or for you. It's passive, whereas vomiting is an active process.

As if two varieties weren't plenty, a third variety of spew involves expectorating. If your dog coughs, either once or several times, and then produces a blob of mucus, she is expectorating, which is very different from regurgitating or vomiting. The key with expectoration is that there's always a cough involved.

Types of Dog Vomit PetMD lists three varieties of dog vomit

Granular

Chunky

Liquid

Often food-related

Often food-related

Not food-related

Somewhat liquid

Can see food pieces

Can be foamy or slimy

Granules look like coffee grounds

Food hasn't bee digested

May be yellow or clear

May see blood

Happens soon after eating

Can be confused with kennel cough symptoms

Partially digested food

Dog ate quickly or ran after eating

Causes of Vomiting One of the most common reasons dogs vomit is dietary indiscretion, otherwise known as dumpster diving or ingesting non-food items like toys, socks, sticks, rocks, etc. Dogs who've been eating the same food for long periods may throw up if a sudden switch is made to their diet.

If your dog eats something potentially toxic, like a poisonous plant or medication or chocolate, he may vomit, and in fact, in this case it could save his life.

Dogs who eat too fast tend to throw up more often than average, and so do dogs who are allowed to exercise vigorously right after a meal. It's important not to let your dog engage in strenuous exercise or play for an hour after eating, to avoid not only vomiting, but the much

more serious problem of bloat (gastric dilatation volvulus).

Some dogs develop motion sickness, which can cause vomiting, as can extreme fear or anxiety, which is a much more serious problem than people realize. Grass-eating, which many dogs seem to do when they have an upset stomach, can trigger vomiting. They know instinctively that eating grass will make them throw up and throwing up will make them feel better.

Other, potentially very serious reasons a dog vomits include a blockage in the stomach or intestines; inflammatory bowel disease (IBD); a disease of the kidneys, liver or pancreas; a middle ear problem; meningitis; or a brain tumour.

If your dog very occasionally throws up and you can identify the cause as eating too fast or eating something she shouldn't have (that isn't potentially toxic), as long as she's otherwise healthy, there's no need to panic. If she starts eating what she just threw up, it's most likely a case of vomiting due to eating too fast, and it's fine (if gross) to let her do this.

However, anything outside this scenario — such as frequent vomiting or vomiting accompanied by other symptoms like loss of appetite or lethargy — should prompt a visit to your veterinarian.

Causes of Regurgitation Unfortunately, regurgitation in dogs can be a sign of a serious underlying disorder. A disease of the oesophagus is the most common cause and is either the result of an obstruction or a motility problem. The oesophagus can be obstructed by a foreign body, stricture, vascular abnormality, or less commonly, a tumor.

Motility disorders or problems with the muscle contractions of the esophagus can be either congenital or acquired. An acquired motility disorder can be caused by esophagitis (inflammation of the esophagus), hypoadrenocorticism (Addison's disease), lead toxicity, organophosphate toxicity, myasthenia gravis (a neuromuscular disorder) and possibly hypothyroidism. A condition called megaesophagus also causes regurgitation.

Though uncommon, regurgitation can also be caused by pharyngeal dysphagia, which is a swallowing disorder. Dogs with this condition can have difficulty or pain when swallowing, causing them to cough or gag when they try to swallow. Pharyngeal dysphagia can be the result of a neuromuscular disorder, a tumor on the pharynx, an anatomic abnormality or trauma.

As you can see, vomiting and regurgitation are actually very different problems. The reasons a dog vomits are wide-ranging but are much different than the reasons he regurgitates.

In an otherwise healthy pet, the tendency to vomit is usually tied to the diet, dietary indiscretion, possibly a toxin or foreign body, or a developing condition like inflammatory bowel disease. Regurgitation happens for reasons unrelated to the diet or the health of the lower gastrointestinal (GI) tract.

The diagnosis and treatment of the two problems are quite different as well, which is why it's important to recognize one from the other and pass on your observations to your veterinarian so he or she can take the appropriate action.

Dear Reader, Because of animal lovers like you, Humane Society International is working around the clock to fight the gruesome dog meat industry – to end it for good.

We’ve slammed the doors permanently on nine dog meat farms in South Korea and rescued more than 900 dogs. Not only that, but we’re lobbying hard for better laws throughout Asia to fight the cruelty, transition farmers out of the business of cruelty, and so much more.

Here is one transformation that we can't stop smiling about. Sophie was rescued just this year from a horrible life on a dog meat farm. Now, she is running free and playing in the grass, surrounded by the love of her forever family:

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This kind of ending never gets old, but so many other dogs still need you.

You can make a difference for dogs caught up in this brutal industry: Sign the dog meat pledge today.

With you by our side, we're committed to this huge fight against the dog meat trade. We’re closing farms and rescuing the animals; we’re raising public and political awareness of the cruelty involved; and we’re growing substantial support for a phase out and ban of South Korea’s dog meat farms. Become a part of the global campaign to end the dog meat trade—sign your name right now.

Thank you, for protecting animals from cruelty all across the globe.

Sincerely, Kitty Block President Humane Society International

Conscious Life Magazine

EVERY HOME NEEDS A LOVING PET! THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS WAITING TO BE ADOPTED – PLEASE REACH OUT! WE ALSO ENCOCURAGE YOU TO REACH INTO YOUR HEARTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE AND REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.

“Look into my eyes and you will see the same expressions of pain, despair, hunger, happiness and love that other little babies feel”.

Many of us get hit by cars, shot with pellet guns and often watch our mothers die on the side of the road.

Luckily for some of us we are rescued and end up in the care of Tracy, who takes us to Aunty Dr Kerry Eason in Durban for our injuries. Tracy is an angel to us, she cares for us and makes us feel better – we love her.

We need all the same things that human babies need like bottles to feed us warm milk, blankets and other baby items.

Tracy Rowles This amazing woman dedicates all her time to the rescue and rehabilitation of vervet monkeys on the KZN coast, in and around the Umkomaas area. She is on call 24/7, caring for the injured babies and often the older monkeys. She sees the horror of what these animals go through when they are injured – she also feels the joy when her little monkeys get well again.

Its all about saving furry babies

Umsizi Umkomaas Vervet Rescue Centre

Watch Tommy get his balance!

CONTACT DETAILS Tracy Rowles Mobile: 072 883 5119 Email: tracymonkeylady@gmail.com www.umsizi.za.org

ADOPTING A BABA Would anyone like to be Tommy's Adoptive mommy and support his care and feedings. R200 per month and you get a certificate, visiting rights as well as tagged in all his photos and updates. He is our first orphan of the season this year and after a traumatic past he needs all the milk and spoils of nice toys and blankets to keep him a happy baba.

There will be lots more babies up for adoption.

Help us bring hope to girls without and choices to those with none.

Founded in 2000 by Khanyisile Motsa, and run under her diligent care ever, Home of Hope for Girls is an autonomous, self-started initiative to provide real care for exploited, trafficked and abused children in the city of Johannesburg.

It is more than just a residential shelter; it is a loving home where dignity is restored, the past is healed and the girls are given the tools to take control of their futures. Home of Hope also reaches out to the community offering the most vulnerable members support, practical help and a lifeline.

The Background to Home of Hope An estimated 10,000 children are prostitutes in Johannesburg and this figure is increasing.

When Khanyisile Motsa relocated to Hillbrow she was shocked to observe girls as young as nine working as prostitutes and selling drugs on the streets at night. The truth about these forgotten children is: • • • • • •

Child Prostitute. Photo by Tseliso Monaheng

Criminals pay agents to recruit children They usually target often orphans or/and those from very disadvantaged rural communities Victims are trafficked or seduced to leave with lies about a life in the city Their IDs are frequently taken from them to make escape and identification difficult Their IDs are often sold on the black market ‘Owned’ by their exploiters they are prostituted, abused, made to sell drugs

Email: info@hopehome.org.za Mam Khanyi: 073 250 2086 Telephone: 011 614 0861 Conscious Life Magazine

Call 012 430 7775 Lines open 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday

Save the Children believes every child deserves a future. In South Africa and around the world, we work every day to give children a healthy start in life, the opportunity to learn and protection from harm. When crisis strikes, and children are most vulnerable, we are always among the first to respond and the last to leave. We ensure children’s unique needs are met and their voices are heard. We deliver lasting results for millions of children, including those hardest to reach. We do whatever it takes for children – every day and in times of crisis – transforming their lives and the future we share.

We need your help to ensure that no child is left behind.

In a tough funding environment, we have ensured we have multiple avenues of funding and are proud to have 11,000 generous individual donors contributing monthly. We will continue to be innovative in securing funding to enable us to reach more children and will work on increasing unrestricted and consistent funding streams.

You can help us make a difference. Even just by becoming aware of our work by reading our annual report.

To download and read the full annual report, click here.

Help us do whatever it takes to save the children.

Thank You Gugulethu Ndebele CEO

www.savethechildren.org.za Conscious Life Magazine

with much appreciation to our advertisers, contributors, endorsers and our readers namaste