Late Night Morning Lullaby

ART BY RACHEL LIVINAL

LATE NIGHT MORNING LULLABY

I am no perfect girl

Born from the crosses of my father’s Stitched heart, The wilts never became scars

When I was three years old, My mother, Heard the shackles, From the boundaries she built. Far too late

My screams- Bloodcurdling as they were, Described the pain of being torn Little limb by little limb His words held me down, An eternal constraint

My screams- They would break into, The walls of our beige minivan

And like a habit, My mother would slip in the disc

She’d let the guitar strings, Strum and play Until my screams became muffled to the beat, She’d rub my foot Until my tears, Would dry by the sound’s waves

As I grew older, I sang to the melody

In those moments, It was Peace in the backseat, It was a soothing yet strong volume,

Of two women Who, Tucked in my dreams

My mother and I, Through the test of melodic time

We would sing this album, And our blood curdling pain- Would slip out of the car windows, With our unshaken grief

Tonight, I laid in a man’s bed, Fully clothed, Truly elated, Freely cognizant Of the love I had for the love That was laying next to me

And I thought about, That peace

A feeling I have only felt briefly- A moment paired with fleeting

A peace I’d run for, But in the past, It was a dichotomy

I’m only 20, I’ve sat in that backseat, For 17 years

Yearned to have my mother, Slip in that CD And with my troubled mind, There weren’t enough times she could play it But I’ve learned now how to push repeat,

How to give harmony, And how to receive it

Tonight, I put on my headphones, Slipped into the bliss, And just before my eyelids flickered Into sleep, And dreams And that sweet, Fluid, Peace

I sent the album to him, I said

This is the album I’d fall asleep to when I was little, It was the only thing that soothed my Troubled mind at such a young age, It’s been the only rock for me- Until I met you

I know I’ve run from the peace That consolidate rare men like you,

A peace, A harmony, A short-lived unbroken family

I’m old enough to realize, That albums like these, Come once in a lifetime

So you listen to the album, Tell me what feelings you find

For I feel it roll off your tongue, Into the air that I’d like to Endlessly Let my tears dry