Notice To All Bus-Riding Deadbeats So the TAP fee costs more, get over it

The reverse centaur is an endangered species roaming in the grassy plains of northern Eurasia. Its diet consists of grass, carrots, and the occasional Cheeto puff. Considered less dangerous due to its weaker hind kick, it can still be a formidable opponent when wielding sharp objects in its hands. Their unwieldy hind legs slow the animals considerably and make galloping difficult. No one has been able to witness their mating behavior.

By Janet Doan

Parking, Parking, and more Parking Services.

Warm regards,

increase TAP fees: you can walk to school.

Therefore, to all the plebian bus-dwellers who dare criticize the university’s decision to

structures outnumber classrooms 10:1.

vehicles. The staff at Parking and Transportation Services hope that, by 2030, parking

from the increased TAP fees can help subsidize more parking structures to house these

concerned about the environment can just go buy themselves a Tesla. The extra revenue

It releases more emissions per mile than a midsize vehicle. Students who are actually

sustainability. But has anyone ever considered the fact that a bus is really just a big car?

even gone as far as to accuse the university of going back on their commitment to

However, students have voiced other concerns that go beyond money. Many have

keeping all the poor, bus-taking degenerates out of this campus.

buildings. If anything, the university is doing its most important students a favor by

that lacks the sophistication and class of well-kept gardens and modern, see-through