Exclusive Interview with the Virus by Laura Taylor White

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE VIRUS

April 1, 2020

Me: Thanks for meeting with me. What should I call you?

COVID-19: I like CV.

Me: Oh, me too. Okay, CV. Again, thank you. First, I have to ask, why did you want to meet with me? I'm not a scientist or a doctor. I'm not even a journalist.

CV: I'm actually surprised you met with me. Didn't your parents teach you to not meet a virus on your own?

Me: Oh, yeah, my parents both work in healthcare. We are very practical about viruses. I eat well, exercise, get lots of sleep, and I wash my hands a lot. Plus, I'm going to stay six feet away.

CV: I can smell the soap from here.

Me: Honeysuckle. It's nice, right?

CV: If you like that sort of thing.

Me: Anyway, I think we actually met before. You stayed at my house a couple weeks ago. I'm not entirely sure it was you, but I had this horrible headache for a week, and it felt like hot coals in my chest.

CV: Oh, right. I was having a little déjà vu myself. It's like when you are used to seeing somebody at the gym but then you run into them in work clothes .

Me: I dressed up for you today. No yoga pants.

CV: You look very nice. I remember you made that chili one night. With the white beans. That was delicious.

Me: It's so easy. You just put all the ingredients in the slow cooker. I'll send you the recipe.

CV: I'd like that. Thank you. You know, there is something else I remember about you. You weren't afraid of me. You weren't afraid you were going to die .

Me: I'm more of an optimist, CV. In fact, I'm grateful you came over then. You reminded me that I'm going to live.

CV: Ah, you see. THAT's why I picked you to do this interview. This is going to be good.

Me: Right, we should get to that. The interview. But first, I'm having a little trouble seeing you. You don't look like your photograph—the spiky colorful ball I've seen all over the internet. It's making me a little dizzy to look at you. Would you be able to stop spinning? All I can see is static.

CV: Oh, that was a stock photo. And it was of a cousin of mine, but he's always been more photogenic than I am so I let it slide.

Me: I get it. People used to get my sister and me confused all the time.

CV: Things have started to snowball, so-to-speak. Let me see if I can shut down some of the outer layers of my energy field.

Me: That's better. You aren't spinning as fast. CV: That top layer was mostly panic. It wasn't mine. It's not me at all. Again, I think that's why I wanted to talk with you. I want people to see the real me.

Me: That is a word that has really come to be associated with you, CV. Panic.

CV: Like I said, it's not me. But I can see how it would get confusing. We'll see if we can work through a couple more of these layers. I appreciate your patience.

Me: I think you just dropped another one of your layers. You're slowing down even more.

CV: That was the "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE" layer. It's super heavy carrying that around. Again, that got pinned on me. You see, before I even came to the planet's surface that was already here. Humans used to be obsessed with death. This planet literally shakes at the death vibration.

Me: Yikes. That sounds dark.

CV: It is. Actually, it became dark. Death isn't something to be afraid of. I guess that is something I've learned in my short time here. Why is everybody so afraid of dying? They worry about it even when they are vitally alive. Don't you people know what a gift it is to have that kind of life? Human life is so precious! Don't spend it thinking about death. Spend that life living!

Me: Well, to be fair, you have been killing a lot of people.

CV: Ouch. I mean, yeah, I get it, but ouch.

CV: Let's get through some more of these layers. I want you to see the real me. Then we can talk truth, alright?

Me: Okay. Sorry. I was getting ahead of myself. But that reminds me. I wanted to talk about how different I feel since I was sick with you.

CV: We'll get to that.

Me: Hey, who is leading this interview?

CV: That's the best question you've asked yet.

Me: Uh . . .

CV: Okay, so here is another layer.

Me: I hear other voices.

CV: I would be careful who you say that to.

Me: No, I mean it's like you are surrounded by a cyclone of voices. Reporters. Oh, I can see why you didn't want to meet with any of those guys.

CV: Precisely. That's the media. I'm mobbed by them 24/7. They've created an entirely new gravitational pull around me. It's like I can't be me.

Me: Like the paparazzi.

CV: Totally.

Me: Oh, on a side note, who would play you in the story of your life?

CV: That's easy. Owen Wilson. But I'm not actually alive.

Me: Oh I love him. I can see it. Wait, what?

CV: Viruses aren't alive. They're really just single cells of information. I'm like a code. Me: You seem alive to me. You've accomplished a lot for somebody who isn't alive.

CV: I borrow life for a bit. I'm only alive when I come into contact with a host. Like when I came to visit you. I was super alive then.

Me: Yeah. I felt strangely alive. I wrote some super weird blog posts when you came to visit.

CV: I remember you singing in the kitchen too. You were emptying the dish washer and you were singing. I was blown away.

Me: It had been a long time since I just sang like that.

CV: You aren't a great singer.

Me: Uh . . .

CV: But it was great that you were singing.

Me: Thank you?

CV: You should always sing.

Me: Even if I'm not any good.

CV: You see, this brings us back to the great gift of being human. You should sing not because you are any good at it. You should sing because you can. You should dance because your body can move. You should love because it is available to you. You should live.

Me: If you want us to live, then why have you come here and killed so many people? Why have you destroyed every aspect of our way of life? People are losing their jobs. Businesses are falling apart. Vacations and recitals are being cancelled. My book club is supposed to discuss Giver of Stars, and we've had to postpone indefinitely. Me: Are you?

CV: You got me. No. Not really. Remember. I'm not alive. I can't feel anything.

Me: Well then, why did you do all of this?

CV: It wasn't like I had a plan. Really, it isn't even like I have a purpose.

Me: You don't?

CV: Again, I'm not alive. I don't have a purpose. But you—you do. You can! Don't you see? You are alive and well. You have this precious gift—this human life. Every human on this planet has such an incredible opportunity to live. To love. To create. To be. You are living on the most beautiful planet in existence. Do you know what other beings in other universes would do to sit for just a moment with a tree? Any tree from this planet. When was the last time you even noticed a tree?

Me: The pear trees in my backyard are starting to blossom. I've been watching them from the window as I do the dishes . . . and sing.

CV: Ah. Do you see now?

Me: Wow.

CV: I know right.

Me: I'd forgotten about the joy of living. I'd forgotten until . . . you reminded me.

CV: Very good. Let me take down this last layer.

Me: Oh, I can feel what that last layer is. It is a feeling I'm familiar with, but not one I like. It's hard to place.

Me: Maybe.

CV: Look at the space between us.

Me: Oh, the last layer is loneliness.

CV: That's right. Here, let me see if I can let it fall away.

Me: Wait a second. Why do I feel so lonely? I have a family and a ton of friends. I'm almost never by myself.

CV: Loneliness is a tricky one. You can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. They say that New York City is one of the loneliest places in the world.

Me: You hit New York hard.

CV: Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. As a non-living thing, I don't really have a lot of control.

Me: Living things don't always have a lot of control either. At least, I don't think they always realize they have control. And actually, I think that is the first time you've said you were sorry .

CV: Is it? Didn't I say I was sorry earlier about something?

Me: No. You said you were sorry something happened. You didn't take ownership. Right now, I think you maybe did a little.

CV: Oh, then I'm sorry.

Me: Thank you for that. I think it will mean a lot to people. CV, if you don't have a purpose, then do you have a message?

CV: I think that is kind of the same thing as a purpose.

Me: Oh.

CV: Purpose. Messages. Those are human things. I'm just a virus. Me: And now that you've relaxed that lonely layer, you seem very, very small.

CV: That was a big layer.

Me: It's funny, but even with the social distancing and the isolation caused by . . . well, caused by you, I feel more connected than ever. It's like my heart has dropped anchor at home. I feel more connected with my family. I feel a part of the world around me. I notice weather now. I feel a difference in my body when it is raining. I see the trees blooming. I feel like I'm a part of something bigger. Even when I don't see people out and about, I see the great love in how people are staying home. I see how people are working to protect the people they love and even protecting the people they don't know.

CV: What can I say? I'm an Evolutionary.

Me: You mean a Revolutionary?

CV: No. An Evolutionary. This planet, humans, you are all going through a very big evolutionary leap right now.

Me: And you're the catalyst?

CV: Well, I think it would have happened with or without me. Still, not bad for an unliving, single-cell organism, am I right?

Me: I would say so. Way to go. Tell me more about this evolution we are experiencing right now?

CV: Why don't you tell me? How have you been feeling through all this?

Me: Creative. I've been thinking in very different ways. I'm literally having big revelations every day. It's like all the structures have fallen and we have this blank slate in front of us and we can dream big now. We can literally dream a new world into being. CV: Again, you are an optimist. But I do agree. I'm not sure everybody else does though.

Me: Maybe I'm ahead of the curve. I mean, I already had the virus. I mean you. And if a virus is really just code, maybe you upgraded my DNA. Maybe I'm Laura 2.0 now. Or Laura 6.0.

CV: Again. Optimistic. I see two problems with that thinking. 1. You allegedly had the virus. You never got tested, so there is no proof that any of that happened. 2. That's giving a whole lot of credit to me, and while I appreciate how much you believe in my abilities, you have to remember I'm not even alive.

Me: Maybe it's just time to change.

CV: Maybe.

Me: Well, I know you don't want to take credit, but I want you to know that I am grateful for this time we spent together, even if we already met before. It was nice to get to know you.

CV: Likewise. Thank you for taking the time.

Me: CV, I realize that is a strange thought considering you aren't even living, but I just can't shake the feeling that you need a little help.

CV: What do you mean?

Me: I'm your friend. I care about you and I want you to live the best non-living life you can. Maybe you can take a look at all this destruction and take a little ownership. I just think you could use some perspective.

CV: I really don't . . .

Me: Here's my friend's card. Look, I'm going to Purell my hands, then I will

take this card and I'll leave it here in the space between us. She's a therapist and she's wonderful. I think you should call her.

CV: I don't think . . .

Me: You're a really nice guy. I think you could use somebody to talk to. Give her a call.

CV: Okay. Maybe I will. Thank you, Laura.

Me: No problem. And CV, you can call me too. You don't have to feel lonely. You don't have to be afraid.

CV: Thank you.

Me: Of course. It was a pleasure to meet you.

CV: Before you go, just one more thing.

Me: Yes.

CV: If I did have a purpose, what I mean is, if I did have a message, which I don't, but if I could . . .

Me: I think I know what it would be.

CV: You do?

Me: I think it would be, "You are alive and well. Now start living."

CV: That's it. I think you got it.