20XXtheMagazine - Summer Issue

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SUMMER ISSUE 2020

The Underbelly yoga

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C O N T 10

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Fashion Spotlight

Music Spotlight

Meet Zanetta Tribble Founder of Tribal Waistbeads

We sit down with artist & muscian, Destiny Stone

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UNDERBELLY YOGA Meet Jessamyn Staley CEO and Creator of UnderBelly Yoga 20XXtheMagazine.com | 4

E N T S Health & Wealth 20

The Mental Health Tip Kendra Talley talks about setting healthy boundaries

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Black Lives Matter Marie-Kriz Beltran talks about trauma and how to cope

Lifestyle

17 Workout Tips for Beginners Check out our tips for working out

18 5 Dating Tips

How to navigate the dating world

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CEO | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Tacara LaStacia VP | CREATIVE DIRECTOR Keya Talley 20XX GIRLS EDITOR Binky Carpenter LIFESTYLE COLUMNIST/BLOGGER Chelsey Blasingame MUSIC EDITOR Taylon Moorer HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMNIST Kendra Talley Marie-Kriz Beltran BRAND AMBASSADOR MoniQue La’Belle

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C O N T R I BU TO R S Taylon Moorer MUSIC EDITOR Taylon is an experienced entertainment and lifestyle blogger/vlogger. She also curates videos to inspire millennials everywhere.

Chelsea Blassingame LIFESTYLE COLUMNIST/ BLOGGER Chelsea curates videos to help inspire young women everywhere to lead a mentally and physically healthy lifestyle.

Zanetta Tribble FOUNDER of Tribal Waistbeads Kendra Talley HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMNIST

Zanetta Trible El has been creating waist beads since 2012. She got her first set in the summer of 2011 from an elder in Berkeley, California named Queen Nzinga.

Kendra obatined her Masters of Science in Community Psychology from Florida A&M University. She’s passionate about normalizing and dicussing mental health in the black community.

Marie-Kriz Beltran HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMNIST Marie has her Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Colorado Christian University. She enjoys spreading knowledge about the importance of mental health.

MoniQue LaBelle BRAND AMBASSADOR Binky Carpenter 20XX Girls Editor Bink has a passion for inspiring other young girls her age to go after what they want in life and to dream big! She also oversees 20XXGirls!

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MoniQue is a cosmetologist, business owner, model, and brand ambassador. She has a passion for giving back to her community through public speaking engagements as well.

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Photographer: Aaron Smalls Photography

EDITOR’S LETTER

BREONNA TAYLOR Our last issue was dedicated to the Black Man. This issue, as most of the issues of 20XXtheMagazine shines a spotlight on the majestic, magical, melanin queens: The Black Woman. I would be remiss if I did not say my sister’s name in this tribute to us: Breonna Taylor. We have failed you queen, but we will not rest until justice prevails!

To my other sisters, I love you. I appreciate you. I’m rooting for you. I celebrate you. I win with you!

“The only woman I’m in competition with is the woman I was yesterday”

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Fas Spotlig

Even though I first noticed women wearing waistbeads about a decade ago, it appears that the resurgence of these beautiful abdominal adornments has become strong in the last year or so. I decided to not only have some made for myself, but did a little deeper into the origin of Waistbeads. - By Tacara La’Stacia

ZANETTA TRIBBLE

Founder of Tribal Waistbeads 1. Why have women historically worn waistbeads?

Historically women have worn waist beads to increase fertility, provide protection, manage weight gain, entice their lover, tap into their Divine Feminine Energy, and

increase prosperity. 2. They were also given to young girls as part of their rites of passage when they started their cycle.

2. When did you start making waistbeads?

the crystals. I saw my life transforming, so I want to share this amazing tool with other women.

3. What is the process of tying on the waistbeads?

I make them the traditional I started making waist beads way with thread. You decide in 2012 after I had bought where you want to wear my first set from an elder them: waist, above hips, or the year before. I loved the upper belly. Tie them, cut the cultural significance of them thread, then burn the knot it and the healing powers of to secure it.

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4. How can women order their customized Waistbeads from you?

5. Will you advise the stones chosen for me and what they mean.

Tiger’s Eye is for My process starts the courage and with a consultation. confidence to They can use my pursue and fulfill your website www. dreams. It ignites tribalwaistbeads. that fire within you to com to schedule manifest your will and one, so we can create the life that discuss what you desire. It’s also intentions they want great for protection to set with their waist from negative beads. I suggest a energy. crystal and color Citrine is for prescription based prosperity and on what is shared wealth. It helps you with me. to stand in your

shion ght

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power and create opportunities

for growth and expansion and motivates you to follow through with your intentions.

Crystal Quartz is for focus and clarity. It gives you a better perspective on things going on in your life, so you can make better informed decisions. It also puts everything into alignment and amplifies other crystals.

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Music Spotlight:

by Taylon Moorer

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20XX: What’s it like being from Mississippi? Would you say this has directly influenced your sound?

Destiny Stone: I love the town I’m from, Holly Springs, MS, because it’s a small, tight knit predominantly Black community. My grandparents, and all but one of my greatgrandparents, were from Missisissippi too, so my family history is pretty deep in the state. I grew up listening to India Arie and Mary Mary and my mom would play Luther Vandroos, Donnie McClurkin, and Kem all the time so I would say I have a pretty good mixture of sounds that influence how I write my music.

20XX: Can you share how you began getting involved in the entertainment industry?

Destiny Stone: The first time I went to the studio was when I was around 12 years old. My dad ended up taking me because I had recently won my school’s talent show by singing an original song. Once I won 1st place by singing and playing a song I wrote, it made me realize that I could have a career as a singer, songwriter and performer. A few years later at a music camp, I had another realization that sharing my music with the world could work for me when I was the only act in the talent show to get a standing ovation from singing a song I wrote in memory of my grandmother.

20XX: When you’re in the booth recording, do you come equipped with a concept and a song already written?

Destiny Stone: When I go to the studio, I come prepared because I’m paying by the hour and time is money. Most recently, I recorded my new album The Girl with the Purple Glasses from my one-bed room apartment. It was so freeing to not have to worry about my time running out and having full control over my sound. Because I recorded my album myself, I ended up creating a couple songs on the spot (JoyTrack #2) and (The Gospoul - Track #4) 20XXtheMagazine.com | 15

20XX: When you were recording The Girl With The Purple Glasses , what was your thought process like?

Destiny Stone: Once quarantine hit and I got over my initial irritation, I realized that I would have a lot of free time, so I turned to my music. I remember a couple of years ago I would say that I couldn’t make beats, but 2020 hit, and I produced 6 of the 7 songs from my new album.

I initially wanted to do a soul/gospel album, hence track #4 entitled The Gospoul, but after I kept creating, I realized that I had a few songs I wanted to add that were “secular”. So, I went back to the drawing board and thought about a concept that I could creatively market and came up with The Girl the Purple Glasses. It also references the fact that I wear glasses and have no intentions of getting contacts, even though you don’t see many people in the music industry who wear glasses, so I took that to my advantage.

20XX: Were you looking to shed light on anything in particular with that project?

Destiny Stone: I wanted this project to be dimensional and encompass different moods and themes. I like to say it’s a 7 song album about faith, love, and Black empowerment.

20XX: Where do you turn for inspiration?

Destiny Stone: My faith as a believer in Jesus, India Arie, and sometimes I just have to dig deep in myself and not be afraid of my God-given creativity 20XX: Who are you listening to right now and which artists are your biggest inspiration?

Destiny Stone: Honestly, I’ve been listening to my new album almost everyday and that’s a HUGE deal for me because I am my worst critic. But being able to listen to my album and sing with it and jam out as if I was listening to my fav India Arie, makes me feel amazing and reminds me that I’m going down the right path.

20XX: It seems recently you started The Music House, can you explain what it is?

Destiny Stone: My fiance and I started it in July 2019. It is a nonprofit that seeks to uplift and enhance our community through music. We offer piano lessons, host live music events, and give performance opportunities to local artists.

20XX: What inspired you to create the Music House?

Destiny Stone: I wanted to combine my passion for music education and performance into one resource. Not only do I enjoy being on stage and sharing my music, but I also enjoy teaching children and seeing their faces light up when they master a musical concept. I also like curating shows, which I’ve done since I was 15, and highlighting great talent too so The Music House is the best of both worlds for me.

20XX: What do you think separates you from other emerging singers in the R&B/Soul genre today?

Destiny Stone: I think my songwriting style separates me from the crowd. I also believe that because I play 2 instruments and have experience producing my own beats. I have created a unique sound. A lot of times, I feel like my ancestors sing through me and I try not to break away from my roots and stay true to my values and morals, even if it’s not mainstream.

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LIFESTYLE

Workout Tips For Beginners Many of us struggle with working out. Why? Maybe its because we're too busy, too tired, or too distracted. Most of us are ashamed to admit it, but many just plain out hate it or they feel they're bad at it. But once you get out of that mindset, working out can be loads of fun and extremely beneficial. All you have to do is start, and once you find yourself getting committed things can only go up from there.

Here’s a mini fitness guide for beginners: 1. Have a legit reason why People hardly ever do things just because they

should. You might be able to start off with that reason but it won’t last. You need to find a legit reason to work out. Is it for your mental health? Is it because you want to feel more confident with your body? Is because you need to do it for your health? What makes you want too begin working out?

2. Put away embarrassment, focus on your body Working out can

be intimidating, especially if you’re not very good at it. Try not to worry about what others think about you, just focus on doing it correctly. Doesn’t matter whether you’re jogging or doing yoga, just focus on you and your body.

3. Try as many things as you can Deciding you’ll do a specific work

out routine every week or one yoga flow every day is great, but at the beginning it is important to try out what you like and what you’re good at. Try looking up workouts on youtube once a week, then go jogging the next. Then you can go and play a sport with friends or visit the gym.

4. Be consistent You might not even have a schedule. You don’t even need strict rules. Just make sure you keep going every chance you get.

5. Even the smallest things count There will be days when you just can’t

do it. Especially if you struggle with mental health issues, things might seem extremely overwhelming. Just remember that something is better than nothing. You might not work out every hour on the hour, but you might choose to walk home instead of going by car. You might not go jogging but you might go for a walk.

6. Do not make working out a punishment Don’t go and exhaust yourself because you overate. Never take working out as a punishment.

7. Eat enough and eat healthy Do not starve yourself. When you force your body to give away more energy than it usually does, you better feed it well.

8. Listen to your body There’s a huge difference between being lazy and

actually being exhausted. Many motivational posts and quotes might call you out on excuses but when your body tells you you can’t do it, then don’t force it. You might make things worse.

9. Keep going Just don’t quit it. You might have to pause for a week or even more but the second you realize it, get back. Get up and get back on it. You got this!

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LIFESTYLE

5 Dating Tips Looking for love?

As some of us may know, dating can be tough. Especially in this day and age.

Dating is many things: Fun, exciting, enlightening, and sometimes scary, awkward, and laborious. One thing it isn’t? Simple. It can be the complete opposite of simple. So to make the dating game a little more easy, we’ve collected all of these lessons and turned them into a set of suggestions, reminders, and tips worth sharing when it come to dating.

Be Prepared: Know where you’re going, who you want to meet, and know what you’ll be eating and drinking or what you’d like to have. Be prepared for all situation, pack essentials in your purse, and know what’s going on in the world. If you want to meet a man in finance, read up about finance before you head out, if you’re interested in men who are in business, read up about international business. Be prepared with different subjects to talk about, be physically prepared, and be prepared to meet people. You can’t walk out of your home expecting to not succeed, walk out of your home with a positive attitude and know that you’ll succeed in all of your endeavors. If you’re going on a date some someone special or just want to meet someone specific, you need to be prepared for every possible situation, then you can handle everything that comes your way properly.

Make a list of the things you won’t negotiate: What are the things that you’d never consider in a man you’re with? Would you date a smoker or a drinker? Would you date a Protestant if you’re a Catholic?

Would you date a man who does casual party drugs? Would you live your life with a man who’s seriously overweight and doesn’t want to change? You need to make a list of the things that you would absolutely not consider in a partner, money comes secondary but the fact of the matter is that there’s nothing worse than being with someone who you’re supposed to love but wishing every moment that you were alone.

Establish your longterm goals: What do you want from life and from your marriage in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, and 20 years? Where do you see yourself now and where do you want to see yourself? What do you want? You need to know what you want and have an idea of what you need within certain time frames. Figure out what you want beforehand so you have an idea of what sort of man you want to spend your life with. Your longterm goals need to match the longterm goals of your potential husband, if not, then you probably won’t be compatible in the long run. If you have an idea of the goals and the things you want and you meet a man who’s capable of giving you those things, consider a relationship. Once you find someone, you don’t need to keep looking, it’ll lead to disappointment.

Be candid about your Once you find someone you love and want to be with, stop looking for values: someone better, settle down, and grow Do you have the same values towards Sex? up.

Politics? Children? Religion? Staying home?

Money? Know what you need from a man and List down all the men you know that you need to be certain with your meet& write down what you choices. If you can’t speak about things and agree, you need to consider how your life would liked & didn’t like about them: be together. There’s a reason conservatives For every date you go on and for every date and marry conservatives, there’s a reason man you meet, write down what you Christian women date Christian men, and there’s didn’t like and what you liked about them. a reason why liberal men and liberal women It’s important to know what you like in marry and date. They all share similar values a man. You should list down qualities, with each other.Don’t waste your time on hobbies, jobs, and other positive things men who don’t have values similar to that you like about the men that you’ve yours because they won’t change. met that you like so you can begin to look for the things that they all have in common. If you know what you like, you’ll have an easier time when it comes to finding what you’re looking for in a 20XXtheMagazine.com | 18 potential husband.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

THE MENTAL HEALTH TIP: Setting Healthy Boundaries

“ Have you ever felt pressured to do something you didn’t really want to do? Then you do it and while you’re doing it you feel annoyed or resentful towards the person that asked you to do it? Or maybe you’ve been caught in a situation where you gave a person your last. The last piece of your favorite dessert you saved especially for yourself. Or maybe you’ve given someone the last few dollars you had to your name because they said they

were going through a tough time financially. Or how about giving someone all of your love that you didn’t leave any for yourself. All of these situations can signify a lack of setting boundaries. I remember reading an article in a newsletter and it was praising an employee for being such a help to the company and that part was great news.

However the part that stuck out to me was when they said the employee always does whatever is asked of him.

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Wow! I paused for a moment to process this information. I thought that must be exhausting to always do everything anybody asks you to do. Now I can understand at work we do have to fulfill our job duties. I mean that’s the reason they hired us, to be an asset to the company. But it’s a whole other thing when we start doing things out of our job description just to please others or because of fear.

What I am saying is we should be able to stand up for ourselves when we feel like we are being taken advantage of and we can do that by setting healthy boundaries.

For instance, at work if you’re always late every morning because you’re picking up breakfast orders for everyone in the office this could be something to work on. Ask yourself is it really your responsibility that everyone in the office is fed. The answer should be no. Your responsibility is to make sure you get to work on time. The fact that you are being late every morning to please everyone else is not healthy nor is it conducive to your work. Its one thing to be a good Samaritan once in a while but we also have to be mindful that we must take care of our own self and let others take accountability for their own self. As adults we should be able to say the word and also be able to receive the word NO. Have you ever met a person who thinks the world revolves around them, this is the consequence of their parents not teaching them the word NO. In result they become difficult adults because they assume or have been taught that others are supposed to do as they say or give in to their every request. These difficult adults can’t comprehend that the world doesn’t work that way. Being able to use the word NO is a healthy coping skill. It helps you to become more assertive. As I looked back on my own youth I realized that I seriously lacked setting boundaries. I didn’t have the courage to

NO

say NO to some things and the consequence was much heartache and pain. Now that I am older I realized that if I really love and care about myself I will include the word NO in my vocabulary and set healthy boundaries. Recently I had to set a boundary with someone I am very close to. I was just tired of how I was being treated and I felt that if I told this person how I felt but more importantly offered a solution then the behavior could change and I could feel some relief. Indeed I had a conversation with the person and after I set boundaries I felt so much better. Literally it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt as if my voice had been heard and they even apologized for their behavior which was a plus. Setting this boundary has made it easier to move forward with our relationship.

These are some steps you can take in order to help set a boundary: • Clearly identify your boundary • U nderstand why you need the boundary • Be straightforward • Use a calm and polite tone • Set consequences if boundary is violated I hope that these tips may help you in your mental health journey. I encourage you to set a healthy boundary in your life today. It may just bring you great relief.“

Kendra Talley Masters of Science in Community Pyschology For more from Kendra Talley, one of our Health & Wellness columnists , check out 20XXtheMagazine.com

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Black Lives Matter:

I m p a c t of Tra u m a a n d H o w to C o p e The most common and easiest answer to the question “How are you doing?” is “I am good.” But are you really good? How are you really doing with the on-going pandemic killing Americans: Racism? Perhaps feeling numb? Drained? Angry? Hopeless? Helpless? Fed up? Or more like all of the above and all at the same time? Yeah. I feel them too. Probably much less than you do, especially if you are Black in America. I can’t even imagine how you are feeling because I am not Black. The fear that your son, daughter, husband, wife, father, mother, other family members, and friends can be killed at any time because of their skin color, is louder than it has ever been before for you. Fear knocks on your door when a member of your family walks out the door because you are no longer sure if they will make it back home alive.

The uncertainty of tomorrow stirs up high levels of anxiety. The exposure to the savagery in the videos of the killings of unarmed Black men in the hands of cops is crippling and traumatizing. Maybe you start to even question yourself whether your life ever really mattered or if it even has a purpose. Possibly questioned every emotion you are feeling.

I want to be the one to tell you that everything you are feeling is valid. The emotions you are feeling are normal responses to having to deal with oppression and racism for so many years. You have probably witnessed either a friend or a family member, if not personally, the inhumane experience racism has exemplified towards the Blacks. Racism never stopped; it is just now getting filmed on live videos for the whole world to see. Sure, there are people who do not understand, people who disagree, and people who diminish your personal experiences and truth as if they do not exist. And that is also okay. They do not know what you’ve been through and never felt the feelings you felt, so they can only speak about what they know.

But I bet it is frustrating. I bet it is hurtful. You probably

felt like cussing them out at least once or have possibly visualized punching them in the face for completely missing the point or for justifying your reasons. So how do you cope with all the emotions and the chaos during this time?

1. Practice Self-Awareness Self-awareness is having a conscious knowledge about yourself, which includes your character, morals, values, feelings, desires, and motives. We live in a world where having honest conversations about personal feelings and thoughts are frowned upon. And when people do talk about their feelings, they are often met with judgment, which causes people to build walls and develop trust issues. Others may not realize the harmful effects of suppressing emotions. But why would you want to suppress your emotions? Emotions are a part of who you are and often reveal something about yourself.

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When you feel strongly about something, writing it down is a helpful way to cope because you are releasing the emotions instead of bottling them up.

Notice when you brush off your emotion they come back around and show up in your behaviors. Writing them down on a piece of paper or in a notebook eliminates the possibility of anyone forming any type of judgment about you. Writing your thoughts and feelings will help identify and clarify things for you. Also, after reading what you have written down, something else may be revealed about yourself that you may have not realized before. Know that your feelings matter, you matter!

opposed and do not get what Black Lives Matter is about on top of dealing with how it personally affects you and your family. That has to be extremely disheartening and dehumanizing. Knowing your limits with people you come in contact with and knowing when to engage and disengage in conversations is critical. It is necessary, for your own sanity, to take time off social media and from watching the news. It is also helpful to re-evaluate friendships because your friends do influence your energy, thoughts, and values whether you realize that or not. So, making sure that the people you surround yourself with and bespeak are people who have your best interest at heart. Yes, people will not always agree with you, but people who love and 2. Accept Yourself and Give Yourself Grace support you will have honest and hard conversations Do you find yourself short-tempered lately? Feeling any without diminishing your feelings, beliefs, and random spurts of sadness? Experiencing fatigue? It is experiences. okay. Everything that is going on in this world today is draining, frustrating, and quite sad. This is a good time It is easy to get caught up in heated conversations and to allow yourself to feel and give yourself permission to find yourself wrestling with so many emotions all at the just be. What does that mean? It means giving yourself same time. We are living at a time of turmoil. Therefore, affirmations and turning the negative self-talks to it is highly critical that we maintain our peace within. positive ones. It also means taking the time to process There are people who are just never going to get it your emotions and feelings, questioning them, and no matter how many times or how creative we get finding your answers based on your personal values trying to explain our side of things. They are not our and beliefs. responsibility. Our only responsibility is that we are honest with ourselves and others and how we speak People tend to get caught up in scrolling through and react towards others. We must always check in social media and reposting someone else’s thoughts with ourselves and make sure that we are okay enough and feelings because it is relatable. There is nothing to deal anything outside of ourselves. And if you find wrong with that, but wouldn’t you want to be able to yourself at peace but still angered, that is completely speak your truth and make your mark? Giving yourself okay. Find a way to make a difference, whether in grace is giving yourself time to process. Processing your household, your circle of friends, your family, by includes sitting with your emotions instead of acting always making sure that your motives and intentions as if you are not feeling anything or as if you shouldn’t are to educate, bring awareness, and make a positive feel the way you feel. It is acknowledging and accepting difference about Black Lives Matter. yourself. When you honor your feelings, you honor yourself. Because if no one else will give you grace nor allow you to feel and reason the way you do, why let it not be yourself? Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. You owe it to yourself and you definitely deserve Marie-Kriz Beltran Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental it!

Health Counseling

3. Identify and/or Build a Support System One of the many challenges around what’s going on today is having to wrangle with people who are

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For more from Marie-Kriz Beltran, one of our Health & Wellness columnists, check out 20XXtheMagazine.com

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HBIC

of the Underbelly 20XXtheMagazine.com | 26

Jessamyn Stanley Tacara: I am so fortunate so excited to be sitting here chatting today with the selfproclaimed HBIC of ‘Underbelly Yoga’, miss Jessamyn Stanley. What's up?

Jessamyn: Yeah, thank you so much for having me and thank you for saying my appropriate job title.

Tacara: I love it. Let us know who you are?

Jessamyn: Y ou know, I mean I think, it's like there's a founder and then there's a head that's in charge and there's one of those hats that. I think has to be. I’m trying to own it in my life, like that's what it is.

Tacara: I love it. So, I have to jump right in and say your level of confidence. Like how did you get there?

Jessamyn: Y ou know, I think well first of all I don't think that I actively feel as confident as I appear to other people. So, I think that a huge part of it must be accepting that I’m not confident to some degree. I’m really bad about that and I have a tendency to get into this head space of like, I want to know everything and do everything. But it's only been since becoming more vulnerable or being open to being more vulnerable and just being like okay I’m gonna fall flat on my face.

And that's what that is. You know like being like I’m gonna leap and there's no net and that's just what it is. I think that instills a sense of confidence, because it's like you got nothing to lose at that point. There's no facade to hold up so yeah, it's probably the opposite is what.

Tacara: I’m gonna tell you, what it sounds like to me though a level of strength more so than confidence. So, one thing you said just now was just knowing that there's no net, yet you still leave. That to me says that there's no fear. Where did you get that mindset?

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Jessamyn: Y ou know, I think it has helped me to be consistently marginalized. Like when I was young, I went to a lot of predominantly white schools and so I was always like the only in that environment. And then like coming up in this industry where there's not a lot of fat black queer people that get that are in some of the rooms that I show up in, I think that it means there just has to be like there has to be some ownership of that truth and like just being like I’m here for whatever not for anyone else ultimately. I’m here for myself, how can I show up as myself as much as possible. It's funny because um the company that owns the underbelly is called ‘Fearless’, and I named it that because I was like that's what I want us to be all the time. I want us to always be just standing in it. It's like you feel the fear and you feel the heat because you have to see it and you have to feel it in order to be able to exist within it and still even in seeing that fear saying I’m a keep going anyway. There's a thrill that comes with that that's pretty intoxicating, I think. I think that feeling of like just it's adrenaline, it's exhilaration, it's scary very scary. And I don't want to make it seem like it's not scary because it is, but ultimately worth it.

Tacara: I know for me it's also a driving force. So, I tell a lot of people that I grew up at the age of 39, and I say at 40 well before I even turned 40 this year, I was like look at this one in my life there is no room for fear. So, the adrenaline that comes behind that is why we're sitting here today. It's why I’m able to sit in front of someone that I follow like, girl you have almost half a million people looking at you. You've created this platform, you're this Carolina girl that we adore, I’m a Carolina girl too.

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“‘Fearless’, ... I named it that because I was like that’s what I want us to be all the time.”

- Jessamyn Stanley

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Photography: (from top to bottom) Bobby Quillard Zoe Litaker Jade Wilson

Jessamyn: So, I was just gonna ask you I was like are you from the south too?

Tacara: Yes, even in not having that net and saying I’m going to jump, what then made you say, ‘I’m going to create my own platform. I’m going to be out here for the world to see.’ Whether it comes with judgment, criticism, applause or whatever. Let's put it on the stage for everybody. What got you there?

Jessamyn: S o, there were a couple of different things. The biggest thing I would say is that I’ve taught online classes, online yoga classes for a number of years. And I, in that experience working for companies that are frankly owned by white men who do not practice yoga. They may practice yoga but they don't teach yoga.

They don't hold, they don't value spirituality as anything more than a commodity. They definitely feel like or it seems as though they position most things toward how can we sell this product, the product being a spiritual identity. So, I found myself in conflict with that all the time. I felt like, I didn't feel like I was able to express myself as a teacher. Because I was really hemmed in by those values. I realized that I wanted to 20XXtheMagazine.com | 30

start a platform where it was just, I like I could control what was going to happen. Because I felt like there was so much just spiritually out of my control with those experiences. And it empowered me to feel like you know why are there not more people, like why are all of these wellness platforms owned by people who don't actually live those practices. Like what's preventing the rest of us from doing our own thing. I felt like there was then a responsibility for me as an entrepreneur to stand in my truth and be that thing that I was looking for. Like to be that example to some degree and to really just try to go out on my own without feeling like I needed to hold somebody else's hand at the same time.

So, there's that and then there's also this part of me that was like, I just want to be able to make put out yoga content that is not about like pretending to have any certain lifestyle. I feel like there's so much yoga stuff on the internet that's just fake. Like it's about selling this idea of what happy is or what beautiful is or what calm and Zen are. I just think that, that has nothing to do with what yoga is. Yoga is about the light and the dark of life. It's about the nasty moments as much as it's about the good moments. I was like I just want to have a space where it's okay to have that experience, where it's okay to be messy and complicated and problematic and to sit at the crossroad of intersections and to own those intersections within yourself and to understand that those intersections are a huge part of why you're here on this planet. So, really the underbelly just encapsulates that experience that however you show up, whoever, you are wherever you are. How you are right now, is exactly how you need to be.

Tacara: I love it. How did you come up with the name?

Jessamyn: W ell, my business partner and I, we threw a lot of names at the wall. We landed on the Underbelly because it doesn't sound like a yoga studio for the first time. I was like I've never head of a yoga studio called something like that. Then I thought you know it speaks to this tender part of ourselves that exists

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for everybody. Everybody has an Underbelly, whether you want to show it to people or not. Like it's that sensitive part of you the part, that feels like just like you have to hide it away from the rest of the world. We wanted ultimately to celebrate that piece of ourselves and it's turned into something that ideologically I think I didn't even anticipate. I’m glad other people get it. I’m glad everybody's like, yes, my underbelly I got that, yes. And also, just like speaking to this part of the body that like, so there's like the metaphorical underbelly and then there's the physical like literally your underbelly. I think that particularly in yoga, we don't talk about our bellies we don't talk about that region. If you do it's like belly blast belly like making it smaller it's not like. Let's put it on a pedestal let's let this area shine. It's about lifting up that which we've been taught to be ashamed of.

Tacara: I agree wholeheartedly and let me tell you. I know nothing about yoga. I was one of those people who heard yoga and thought, oh that's in, that's the people in California who have it together and eat salad all day. I knew that I was.

Jessamyn: Come on, you have salad all day.

Tacara: S o, I called myself going to a yoga class and to be perfectly transparent, my belly is the part of my body that I despise. So, when I walked into the yoga class, I’m already in like an oversized t-shirt and leggings pulled up in my neck and you know trying to hide that underbelly.

Jessamyn: Yeah.

Tacara: But I think there was a sense of intimidation, because everybody else in the yoga class looked like the stereotypical yoga class members. So, I want to say first I do I appreciate what you have created. Now let's talk body positivity, because I want people to be clear as I had to be clear myself. Body positivity doesn't mean weight loss. Can you elaborate on the difference?

Jessamyn: Y eah, I mean body positivity it's so interesting how this movement has been co-opted. Because honestly like, I’ve always thought that body positivity just means you're all right today. Everything about you right now is exactly where it needs to be. You don't need to change anything; you don't need to do anything.

And that when you accept yourself as you are right now that you are able to engage in a level of self-love that isn't possible otherwise. So, if you're coming at it from this place of like, ‘Oh, well when I lose weight or when I you know change this part of my body or when something changes about me, then I can do the things that I want to do. Instead you're saying, right now today I’m good so I’m just going to complete all of my dreams right now. Like I’m trying to do what I want. But body positivity has definitely been co-opted and gentrified and turned into this idea that like, I don't even know what. It's kind of like fat girls deserve clothing too or something. I don't really know; it's become more about glorifying like sis feminine body types and like showing that like a certain amount of curve is okay but not all of this. Then there's people who were like really into body positivity, but then they are defining body positivity as meaning that you need to be happy with your body all the time. They're like I don't feel happy about my body all the time. So, I can't be body positive, I got to be body something else. So, they're like about neutral, there's so many different versions of this. My thought honestly is just I’m just glad people are talking about it frankly. Because for too long we've been living in this version of reality, where like no one can talk about their body issues. You just have to kind of pretend that they're not there and hope that you look different one day and then you won't have to think about it anymore. But it's something everybody has body issues. Everybody of every body type, like usually the people who look the most like the mainstream image of beautiful have the most body issues. So, I’m just always like as long as we can all talk about the fact that we're messed up in the head about the way that our bodies look then I think that's great. It doesn't really matter what you call it. Like you could call it nothing and still get to the same destination. It's like we're all going to the same party, but we just you know 20XXtheMagazine.com | 32

you bring a different drink, you bring a different friend, you bring your drive up in a different vehicle but we're all going to the same destination.

Tacara: Absolutely. Now take me back 10 years ago.

Jessamyn: Oh, my God, do I want to go back 10 years ago. Jesus, no right.

Tacara: Yeah, we're going. Jessamyn, 10 years ago am I looking at her is that the same woman that's in front of me?

Jessamyn: N o, I mean in my head yeah, there's much that is the same. But in actuality and how other people experience me probably not. Jessamyn of 10 years ago, I’m still pretty volatile but I was definitely a lot more volatile. Like more liable to pop off on somebody out of nowhere. I was definitely much more and to that so like more argumentative. More like you know I’ve decided these certain things about myself and like I know the kind of person that I am and I’m not gonna do XYZ thing, because that's not the kind of person I am.

Like if someone had a different opinion than me, I would commit myself to convincing them of my opinion.

Like it didn't matter. I do think so as much as yoga has been a transformative physical experience. I do think that what has transformed me the most is how I show up spiritually and emotionally toward other people.

Because that's what I noticed the most is that, I think more open to hearing other people's points of view and just sort of letting them exist not great at it at all by any means. I don't want to make it seem like I’m like, ‘Yeah I got that figured out’. No, I’m just more aware, I think. But I also think there's some part of that that's 20XXtheMagazine.com | 33

just age and recognizing that things change that you change as a person. I think I was much more fearful a decade ago, much more fearful. Like afraid of everything mainly afraid of myself, afraid of my own capacity and potential. Afraid that I wouldn't be able to reach the like expectations that I had or that other people had for me very much afraid of that. Then you know afraid to go places that I was unfamiliar with or just step out on faith. Stepping out on faith to me was not a thing, that's been another huge shift that's come with practicing that I didn't. And it's probably honestly the thing that I noticed first. When I first started practicing, I would like have these moments in class where the postures just seem completely impossible to me. I’d be like looking around to other people like, how are they doing this, like how are you able to you know reach for your foot right out in front of you while you're standing on one leg. Like how are you able to bend your spine back, and I would just look and be like man I’m never going to be able to do that. Like why even try, I would start to go into the posture and then I get pissed at myself and be like, man I can't do that like why even try. I had this point where it was like, okay well you did pay 20 to be here, like you paid for this group-on. Because frankly that was the only way that I could afford to practice, was get a group-on and then I had a work study at the studio. So, I’m like I’m in here, I paid for paid to be in here. You could just spend the whole class being pissed that you think you can't do something or you can just step out on faith and say, ‘Yeah, I’m gonna fall down. Maybe I fall down. But maybe it's okay to fall down maybe it doesn't matter that I fall down, maybe it's okay.’ I was always afraid of other people seeing me be weak. I still find that to be a sticky spot. But I mean back then it was just like I can't let anyone see me not know what to do. Like the teacher's gonna see me and all the other students are gonna see. And it's like there comes a point where it's like you know you just got to go for it you just got to maybe you fall and maybe you need to fall. That allowing myself to just be to just show up ultimately experiencing compassion for myself. I think that's something that was not happening at all ten years ago. Like not even a little bit. So yeah, not the same thing, not the same person a little bit different. Do you feel different ten years ago to now?

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Tacara: G irl listen, we could have been sisters because my pop-up had found a lot. I’m excited to see what it does with yoga, because I am determined to not only begin practicing yoga. But one of my life goals is to be able to do a vertical split. I've never split a day in my life, but when you mention the whole grabbing your ankle and holding your legs straight in front, girl I have prayed about this. Like before I leave this world, I want to be able to do that.

Jessamyn: Y ou know oh my Gosh, I have so much to say about this. To be able to split was a huge thing for me. Like it was something that as a kid I always wanted to be able to do splits. Like I was obsessed with cheerleading, so I just want to be able to do this. It just seemed like I used to dream about it. As a child, I have a distinct memory of like trying to memorize um capitals of central American countries and also wanting to learn how to do a split. So, in my dreams, I was reciting the names of these capitals and also doing splits. It was like a lifelong thing right. So, then when I first started practicing yoga, I was like I’m gonna do a split. This is what I was like I’m gonna do a full wheel pose full back bend. I’m gonna do a handstand and I’m gonna do a full split. On the road to all of these postures, I've learned a lot about what it takes to practice them and so much of what it takes is not physical. It's so much of it is emotional. I think that particularly with hip openers, it's like there's just so much baggage that is caught up in our hips. And when you start to move into the big hip openers especially, it just all you want to do is cry, you just cry like forever crying. It's almost like just giving yourself up to the road of crying. So, that the fact that I practice full splits now is secondary to the fact that I like am actually able to access tears. You know like actually being able to access emotion and it's something that like I think was gonna be a part of it. So, I feel you, that's what I’m saying I feel you.

Tacara: W ell I listen, that is a part of my journey. So, I will definitely keep you posted. Before I let you go, what's next like you're an author, you have the podcast, you have the Underbelly brand. you are the Underbelly brand. Like, what's next? What do we have to look forward to you even the rest of this year?

Jessamyn: W ell, the Underbelly has lots of new content coming out, lots of new live classes. We're doing all, lots of new merch. Just like all kinds of things coming as we really step beyond like, okay so we're the little yoga studio that could into what's good. We are a whole community this is a whole vibration and like let's play this out in real time in big time. So, that's what's going on with the underbelly. I’m finishing up the follow-up to my first book ‘Everybody Yoga’. It should be out in 2021. I don't want to say anything more about it less I think to myself. But that is what's coming up on that horizon. But other than that, it's just like you know spreading this practice, spreading the love and really trying to make sure that people know that yoga is really for everybody.

Tacara: Absolutely. Well, I look forward to interviewing you once the second book comes out. I got to tell you; I love your energy. And the first time I saw your logo, of course I knew it stood for the Underbelly. But after watching your videos, I was like, ‘Oh girl that could stand for unbothered. Because that is the energy that you give off and I love it. Oh, thank you.

Jessamyn: Thank you. It's all of us together. Thank you, man.

Tacara: All right, we look forward to talking to you again soon.

Jessamyn: I’m looking forward to that too. Have a good afternoon.

Tacara: You too.

Jessamyn: Peace.

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@mynameisjessaymyn @theunderbellyyoga

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