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C O N T 10

Fashion Spotlight

Music Spotlight

Meet Zanetta Tribble Founder of Tribal Waistbeads

We sit down with artist & muscian, Destiny Stone

UNDERBELLY YOGA Meet Jessamyn Staley CEO and Creator of UnderBelly Yoga 20XXtheMagazine.com | 4

E N T S Health & Wealth 20

The Mental Health Tip Kendra Talley talks about setting healthy boundaries

Black Lives Matter Marie-Kriz Beltran talks about trauma and how to cope

Lifestyle

17 Workout Tips for Beginners Check out our tips for working out

18 5 Dating Tips

How to navigate the dating world

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CEO | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Tacara LaStacia VP | CREATIVE DIRECTOR Keya Talley 20XX GIRLS EDITOR Binky Carpenter LIFESTYLE COLUMNIST/BLOGGER Chelsey Blasingame MUSIC EDITOR Taylon Moorer HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMNIST Kendra Talley Marie-Kriz Beltran BRAND AMBASSADOR MoniQue La’Belle

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C O N T R I BU TO R S Taylon Moorer MUSIC EDITOR Taylon is an experienced entertainment and lifestyle blogger/vlogger. She also curates videos to inspire millennials everywhere.

Chelsea Blassingame LIFESTYLE COLUMNIST/ BLOGGER Chelsea curates videos to help inspire young women everywhere to lead a mentally and physically healthy lifestyle. Zanetta Tribble FOUNDER of Tribal Waistbeads Kendra Talley HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMNIST

Zanetta Trible El has been creating waist beads since 2012. She got her first set in the summer of 2011 from an elder in Berkeley, California named Queen Nzinga.

Kendra obatined her Masters of Science in Community Psychology from Florida A&M University. She’s passionate about normalizing and dicussing mental health in the black community.

Marie-Kriz Beltran HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMNIST Marie has her Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Colorado Christian University. She enjoys spreading knowledge about the importance of mental health.

MoniQue LaBelle BRAND AMBASSADOR Binky Carpenter 20XX Girls Editor Bink has a passion for inspiring other young girls her age to go after what they want in life and to dream big! She also oversees 20XXGirls!

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MoniQue is a cosmetologist, business owner, model, and brand ambassador. She has a passion for giving back to her community through public speaking engagements as well.

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Photographer: Aaron Smalls Photography

EDITOR’S LETTER

BREONNA TAYLOR Our last issue was dedicated to the Black Man. This issue, as most of the issues of 20XXtheMagazine shines a spotlight on the majestic, magical, melanin queens: The Black Woman. I would be remiss if I did not say my sister’s name in this tribute to us: Breonna Taylor. We have failed you queen, but we will not rest until justice prevails! To my other sisters, I love you. I appreciate you. I’m rooting for you. I celebrate you. I win with you!

“The only woman I’m in competition with is the woman I was yesterday”

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Fas Spotlig

Even though I first noticed women wearing waistbeads about a decade ago, it appears that the resurgence of these beautiful abdominal adornments has become strong in the last year or so. I decided to not only have some made for myself, but did a little deeper into the origin of Waistbeads. - By Tacara La’Stacia

ZANETTA TRIBBLE

Founder of Tribal Waistbeads 1. Why have women historically worn waistbeads?

Historically women have worn waist beads to increase fertility, provide protection, manage weight gain, entice their lover, tap into their Divine Feminine Energy, and

increase prosperity. 2. They were also given to young girls as part of their rites of passage when they started their cycle. 2. When did you start making waistbeads?

the crystals. I saw my life transforming, so I want to share this amazing tool with other women.

3. What is the process of tying on the waistbeads?

I make them the traditional I started making waist beads way with thread. You decide in 2012 after I had bought where you want to wear my first set from an elder them: waist, above hips, or the year before. I loved the upper belly. Tie them, cut the cultural significance of them thread, then burn the knot it and the healing powers of to secure it. 20XXtheMagazine.com | 10

4. How can women order their customized Waistbeads from you?

5. Will you advise the stones chosen for me and what they mean.

Tiger’s Eye is for My process starts the courage and with a consultation. confidence to They can use my pursue and fulfill your website www. dreams. It ignites tribalwaistbeads. that fire within you to com to schedule manifest your will and one, so we can create the life that discuss what you desire. It’s also intentions they want great for protection to set with their waist from negative beads. I suggest a energy. crystal and color Citrine is for prescription based prosperity and on what is shared wealth. It helps you with me. to stand in your

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power and create opportunities

for growth and expansion and motivates you to follow through with your intentions. Crystal Quartz is for focus and clarity. It gives you a better perspective on things going on in your life, so you can make better informed decisions. It also puts everything into alignment and amplifies other crystals.

LIFESTYLE

5 Dating Tips Looking for love?

As some of us may know, dating can be tough. Especially in this day and age. Dating is many things: Fun, exciting, enlightening, and sometimes scary, awkward, and laborious. One thing it isn’t? Simple. It can be the complete opposite of simple. So to make the dating game a little more easy, we’ve collected all of these lessons and turned them into a set of suggestions, reminders, and tips worth sharing when it come to dating.

Be Prepared: Know where you’re going, who you want to meet, and know what you’ll be eating and drinking or what you’d like to have. Be prepared for all situation, pack essentials in your purse, and know what’s going on in the world. If you want to meet a man in finance, read up about finance before you head out, if you’re interested in men who are in business, read up about international business. Be prepared with different subjects to talk about, be physically prepared, and be prepared to meet people. You can’t walk out of your home expecting to not succeed, walk out of your home with a positive attitude and know that you’ll succeed in all of your endeavors. If you’re going on a date some someone special or just want to meet someone specific, you need to be prepared for every possible situation, then you can handle everything that comes your way properly.

Make a list of the things you won’t negotiate: What are the things that you’d never consider in a man you’re with? Would you date a smoker or a drinker? Would you date a Protestant if you’re a Catholic? Would you date a man who does casual party drugs? Would you live your life with a man who’s seriously overweight and doesn’t want to change? You need to make a list of the things that you would absolutely not consider in a partner, money comes secondary but the fact of the matter is that there’s nothing worse than being with someone who you’re supposed to love but wishing every moment that you were alone.

Establish your longterm goals: What do you want from life and from your marriage in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, and 20 years? Where do you see yourself now and where do you want to see yourself? What do you want? You need to know what you want and have an idea of what you need within certain time frames. Figure out what you want beforehand so you have an idea of what sort of man you want to spend your life with. Your longterm goals need to match the longterm goals of your potential husband, if not, then you probably won’t be compatible in the long run. If you have an idea of the goals and the things you want and you meet a man who’s capable of giving you those things, consider a relationship. Once you find someone, you don’t need to keep looking, it’ll lead to disappointment. Be candid about your Once you find someone you love and want to be with, stop looking for values: someone better, settle down, and grow Do you have the same values towards Sex? up. Politics? Children? Religion? Staying home? Money? Know what you need from a man and List down all the men you know that you need to be certain with your meet& write down what you choices. If you can’t speak about things and agree, you need to consider how your life would liked & didn’t like about them: be together. There’s a reason conservatives For every date you go on and for every date and marry conservatives, there’s a reason man you meet, write down what you Christian women date Christian men, and there’s didn’t like and what you liked about them. a reason why liberal men and liberal women It’s important to know what you like in marry and date. They all share similar values a man. You should list down qualities, with each other.Don’t waste your time on hobbies, jobs, and other positive things men who don’t have values similar to that you like about the men that you’ve yours because they won’t change. met that you like so you can begin to look for the things that they all have in common. If you know what you like, you’ll have an easier time when it comes to finding what you’re looking for in a 20XXtheMagazine.com | 18 potential husband.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

THE MENTAL HEALTH TIP: Setting Healthy Boundaries

“ Have you ever felt pressured to do something you didn’t really want to do? Then you do it and while you’re doing it you feel annoyed or resentful towards the person that asked you to do it? Or maybe you’ve been caught in a situation where you gave a person your last. The last piece of your favorite dessert you saved especially for yourself. Or maybe you’ve given someone the last few dollars you had to your name because they said they

were going through a tough time financially. Or how about giving someone all of your love that you didn’t leave any for yourself. All of these situations can signify a lack of setting boundaries. I remember reading an article in a newsletter and it was praising an employee for being such a help to the company and that part was great news. However the part that stuck out to me was when they said the employee always does whatever is asked of him.

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Wow! I paused for a moment to process this information. I thought that must be exhausting to always do everything anybody asks you to do. Now I can understand at work we do have to fulfill our job duties. I mean that’s the reason they hired us, to be an asset to the company. But it’s a whole other thing when we start doing things out of our job description just to please others or because of fear. What I am saying is we should be able to stand up for ourselves when we feel like we are being taken advantage of and we can do that by setting healthy boundaries. For instance, at work if you’re always late every morning because you’re picking up breakfast orders for everyone in the office this could be something to work on. Ask yourself is it really your responsibility that everyone in the office is fed. The answer should be no. Your responsibility is to make sure you get to work on time. The fact that you are being late every morning to please everyone else is not healthy nor is it conducive to your work. Its one thing to be a good Samaritan once in a while but we also have to be mindful that we must take care of our own self and let others take accountability for their own self. As adults we should be able to say the word and also be able to receive the word NO. Have you ever met a person who thinks the world revolves around them, this is the consequence of their parents not teaching them the word NO. In result they become difficult adults because they assume or have been taught that others are supposed to do as they say or give in to their every request. These difficult adults can’t comprehend that the world doesn’t work that way. Being able to use the word NO is a healthy coping skill. It helps you to become more assertive. As I looked back on my own youth I realized that I seriously lacked setting boundaries. I didn’t have the courage to

say NO to some things and the consequence was much heartache and pain. Now that I am older I realized that if I really love and care about myself I will include the word NO in my vocabulary and set healthy boundaries. Recently I had to set a boundary with someone I am very close to. I was just tired of how I was being treated and I felt that if I told this person how I felt but more importantly offered a solution then the behavior could change and I could feel some relief. Indeed I had a conversation with the person and after I set boundaries I felt so much better. Literally it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt as if my voice had been heard and they even apologized for their behavior which was a plus. Setting this boundary has made it easier to move forward with our relationship.

These are some steps you can take in order to help set a boundary: • Clearly identify your boundary • U nderstand why you need the boundary • Be straightforward • Use a calm and polite tone • Set consequences if boundary is violated I hope that these tips may help you in your mental health journey. I encourage you to set a healthy boundary in your life today. It may just bring you great relief.“

Kendra Talley Masters of Science in Community Pyschology For more from Kendra Talley, one of our Health & Wellness columnists , check out 20XXtheMagazine.com

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Black Lives Matter:

I m p a c t of Tra u m a a n d H o w to C o p e The most common and easiest answer to the question “How are you doing?” is “I am good.” But are you really good? How are you really doing with the on-going pandemic killing Americans: Racism? Perhaps feeling numb? Drained? Angry? Hopeless? Helpless? Fed up? Or more like all of the above and all at the same time? Yeah. I feel them too. Probably much less than you do, especially if you are Black in America. I can’t even imagine how you are feeling because I am not Black. The fear that your son, daughter, husband, wife, father, mother, other family members, and friends can be killed at any time because of their skin color, is louder than it has ever been before for you. Fear knocks on your door when a member of your family walks out the door because you are no longer sure if they will make it back home alive. The uncertainty of tomorrow stirs up high levels of anxiety. The exposure to the savagery in the videos of the killings of unarmed Black men in the hands of cops is crippling and traumatizing. Maybe you start to even question yourself whether your life ever really mattered or if it even has a purpose. Possibly questioned every emotion you are feeling. I want to be the one to tell you that everything you are feeling is valid. The emotions you are feeling are normal responses to having to deal with oppression and racism for so many years. You have probably witnessed either a friend or a family member, if not personally, the inhumane experience racism has exemplified towards the Blacks. Racism never stopped; it is just now getting filmed on live videos for the whole world to see. Sure, there are people who do not understand, people who disagree, and people who diminish your personal experiences and truth as if they do not exist. And that is also okay. They do not know what you’ve been through and never felt the feelings you felt, so they can only speak about what they know. But I bet it is frustrating. I bet it is hurtful. You probably

felt like cussing them out at least once or have possibly visualized punching them in the face for completely missing the point or for justifying your reasons. So how do you cope with all the emotions and the chaos during this time?

1. Practice Self-Awareness Self-awareness is having a conscious knowledge about yourself, which includes your character, morals, values, feelings, desires, and motives. We live in a world where having honest conversations about personal feelings and thoughts are frowned upon. And when people do talk about their feelings, they are often met with judgment, which causes people to build walls and develop trust issues. Others may not realize the harmful effects of suppressing emotions. But why would you want to suppress your emotions? Emotions are a part of who you are and often reveal something about yourself.

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When you feel strongly about something, writing it down is a helpful way to cope because you are releasing the emotions instead of bottling them up. Notice when you brush off your emotion they come back around and show up in your behaviors. Writing them down on a piece of paper or in a notebook eliminates the possibility of anyone forming any type of judgment about you. Writing your thoughts and feelings will help identify and clarify things for you. Also, after reading what you have written down, something else may be revealed about yourself that you may have not realized before. Know that your feelings matter, you matter!

opposed and do not get what Black Lives Matter is about on top of dealing with how it personally affects you and your family. That has to be extremely disheartening and dehumanizing. Knowing your limits with people you come in contact with and knowing when to engage and disengage in conversations is critical. It is necessary, for your own sanity, to take time off social media and from watching the news. It is also helpful to re-evaluate friendships because your friends do influence your energy, thoughts, and values whether you realize that or not. So, making sure that the people you surround yourself with and bespeak are people who have your best interest at heart. Yes, people will not always agree with you, but people who love and 2. Accept Yourself and Give Yourself Grace support you will have honest and hard conversations Do you find yourself short-tempered lately? Feeling any without diminishing your feelings, beliefs, and random spurts of sadness? Experiencing fatigue? It is experiences. okay. Everything that is going on in this world today is draining, frustrating, and quite sad. This is a good time It is easy to get caught up in heated conversations and to allow yourself to feel and give yourself permission to find yourself wrestling with so many emotions all at the just be. What does that mean? It means giving yourself same time. We are living at a time of turmoil. Therefore, affirmations and turning the negative self-talks to it is highly critical that we maintain our peace within. positive ones. It also means taking the time to process There are people who are just never going to get it your emotions and feelings, questioning them, and no matter how many times or how creative we get finding your answers based on your personal values trying to explain our side of things. They are not our and beliefs. responsibility. Our only responsibility is that we are honest with ourselves and others and how we speak People tend to get caught up in scrolling through and react towards others. We must always check in social media and reposting someone else’s thoughts with ourselves and make sure that we are okay enough and feelings because it is relatable. There is nothing to deal anything outside of ourselves. And if you find wrong with that, but wouldn’t you want to be able to yourself at peace but still angered, that is completely speak your truth and make your mark? Giving yourself okay. Find a way to make a difference, whether in grace is giving yourself time to process. Processing your household, your circle of friends, your family, by includes sitting with your emotions instead of acting always making sure that your motives and intentions as if you are not feeling anything or as if you shouldn’t are to educate, bring awareness, and make a positive feel the way you feel. It is acknowledging and accepting difference about Black Lives Matter. yourself. When you honor your feelings, you honor yourself. Because if no one else will give you grace nor allow you to feel and reason the way you do, why let it not be yourself? Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. You owe it to yourself and you definitely deserve Marie-Kriz Beltran Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental it! Health Counseling

3. Identify and/or Build a Support System One of the many challenges around what’s going on today is having to wrangle with people who are

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For more from Marie-Kriz Beltran, one of our Health & Wellness columnists, check out 20XXtheMagazine.com

HBIC

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Jessamyn Stanley Tacara: I am so fortunate so excited to be sitting here chatting today with the selfproclaimed HBIC of ‘Underbelly Yoga’, miss Jessamyn Stanley. What's up? Jessamyn: Yeah, thank you so much for having me and thank you for saying my appropriate job title. Tacara: I love it. Let us know who you are? Jessamyn: Y ou know, I mean I think, it's like there's a founder and then there's a head that's in charge and there's one of those hats that. I think has to be. I’m trying to own it in my life, like that's what it is. Tacara: I love it. So, I have to jump right in and say your level of confidence. Like how did you get there? Jessamyn: Y ou know, I think well first of all I don't think that I actively feel as confident as I appear to other people. So, I think that a huge part of it must be accepting that I’m not confident to some degree. I’m really bad about that and I have a tendency to get into this head space of like, I want to know everything and do everything. But it's only been since becoming more vulnerable or being open to being more vulnerable and just being like okay I’m gonna fall flat on my face. And that's what that is. You know like being like I’m gonna leap and there's no net and that's just what it is. I think that instills a sense of confidence, because it's like you got nothing to lose at that point. There's no facade to hold up so yeah, it's probably the opposite is what. Tacara: I’m gonna tell you, what it sounds like to me though a level of strength more so than confidence. So, one thing you said just now was just knowing that there's no net, yet you still leave. That to me says that there's no fear. Where did you get that mindset?

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Jessamyn: Y ou know, I think it has helped me to be consistently marginalized. Like when I was young, I went to a lot of predominantly white schools and so I was always like the only in that environment. And then like coming up in this industry where there's not a lot of fat black queer people that get that are in some of the rooms that I show up in, I think that it means there just has to be like there has to be some ownership of that truth and like just being like I’m here for whatever not for anyone else ultimately. I’m here for myself, how can I show up as myself as much as possible. It's funny because um the company that owns the underbelly is called ‘Fearless’, and I named it that because I was like that's what I want us to be all the time. I want us to always be just standing in it. It's like you feel the fear and you feel the heat because you have to see it and you have to feel it in order to be able to exist within it and still even in seeing that fear saying I’m a keep going anyway. There's a thrill that comes with that that's pretty intoxicating, I think. I think that feeling of like just it's adrenaline, it's exhilaration, it's scary very scary. And I don't want to make it seem like it's not scary because it is, but ultimately worth it. Tacara: I know for me it's also a driving force. So, I tell a lot of people that I grew up at the age of 39, and I say at 40 well before I even turned 40 this year, I was like look at this one in my life there is no room for fear. So, the adrenaline that comes behind that is why we're sitting here today. It's why I’m able to sit in front of someone that I follow like, girl you have almost half a million people looking at you. You've created this platform, you're this Carolina girl that we adore, I’m a Carolina girl too.

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“‘Fearless’, ... I named it that because I was like that’s what I want us to be all the time.”

- Jessamyn Stanley

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