Celebrity Gossip > Fucking > Drama
Co Stars Who Were Definitely Fucking by B. Kubovy-Weiss
Celebrity romances are often sparked on set. But how can one be sure which are real and which are just PR stunts to promote the failing media industry? As a real insider with many years of experience in the biz, I’m here to give you an inside look into the real dynamic duos who kept up that dynamism behind the scenes.
1.-Wallace and Gromit from Wallace and Gromit
Ah, Wallace and Gromit. A duo as old as time. Look at that button nose on Gromit, that little cutie. Look at their eyes, how they peer into your soul. And the smile on that pervert Wallace. Are you kidding me? You know they’ve seen –– and done –– some weird claymation shit.
I mean the picture really says it all, but I’ll elaborate. Hiccup looks like the kinda guy that would say “I love you” 4 minutes into missionary. And Toothless? No teeth? Sounds pretty ideal when it comes to sexual scenarios for a vanilla kid like Hiccup, don’t you think? Not only that but he is literally training this dragon. That’s some classic Freudian shit you’d hear in discussion section. FILM 654 / PHIL 234: How to Train your Castration Anxiety is coming to an HQ classroom near you Spring 2023.
4. Finn the Human and Jake the Dog from Adventure Time
6. Dora and Boots from Dora
You know how at the end of every episode of Dora when Dora and Boots would go over their favorite parts of the trip? Well, they lied every single time. Their favorite parts of the trip were never stopping Swiper or picking berries or whatever normie shit they would claim. Nah, they were absolutely going at it on those journeys. And some days even Benny the Bull got in on the action. That hot piece of ass. I’d ring his bell any time.
7. Mr. Popper and his penguins from Mr. Popper’s Penguins
2. Han Solo and Chewbacca from Star Wars
You really think Han never took a walk on the wild side? Never used his Force with that utterly sensuous beast? Luke Skywalker this, Han Solo that, Chewbacca is far, far and away the hottest character in the Star Wars franchise and if Han didn’t “I am your father” him, then that was his loss.
tall? He must be hiding something under there. Sure, TMITYH–– whose real name is Ted Shackelford, (Shackelford, I mean, are you kidding me?) –– was like a father figure to George, but doesn’t that just make it hotter? If I had a titillating little monkey calling me ‘Mommy’ and hanging from my long, lanky limbs, I too would be so overjoyed that I would forget I wore the same fugly yellow outfit every day.
The theme song literally says, “With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human / the fun will never end / Adventure Time,” and I’m supposed to believe those two kept it in their pants? Hell, Jake doesn’t even have pants to keep it in. If I were Finn I would have ripped the yellow fur right off that hunk-ajunk Jake.
His name was Popper. ‘Nuff said.
8. The surfer and the shark who bit her arm off from 5. The Man in the Yellow Hat Soul Surfer and Curious George from Curious George
3. Hiccup and Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon
I mean just how curious was good ole George? And why was that man’s hat so
Look, not all of them are going to have relationships that fit into your narrow vision of what’s acceptable, ok? Some of us are into some more hardcore shit. I would literally pay to have that sexy chondrichthyan take a bite outta me. Grow up.