on their participation in earning an income as well as any social or other operations outside the home. In principle, spouses must provide maintenance for each other during the marriage. Both spouses must participate in the finances of the family to the best of their ability. If necessary, one spouse can be ordered to provide alimony to the other during the marriage. The amount and payment method of the alimony may be agreed in a contract or by court order. The parents’ obligation to provide maintenance to their children is decreed in the legislation on child maintenance. Entering a marriage does not cause any changes to the spouses’ ownership, but both spouses receive marital rights to property of the other spouse if there is no prenuptial agreement. This means that in case of a divorce, the spouses’ property is combined and the spouse that owns more has to pay indemnity to the spouse that owns less in order to make the shares equal. Spouses may acquire property that they own together, e.g. by purchasing housing shares together. During the marriage, each spouse is individually responsible for any debt they accumulate. A divorce does not change this, i.e. spouses are not responsible for any debt accumulated solely by the other in case of a divorce. Spouses may take a loan together, which they are jointly responsible for. One of the basic rights of everyone is the right to bodily integrity. This also applies to sexual autonomy. Everyone has the right to decide on matters concerning their own body and sexuality. This also applies in marriages, common-law marriages and relationships. Sexual violence, forcing someone to have sex and sexual abuse are always criminal acts, even if the perpetrator is a spouse or someone else close to the victim.
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Engagement parties and weddings An engagement is an agreement of a coming marriage between a couple. No official documents or witnesses are needed for an engagement, but it is a shared, voluntary decision of both people in the couple. Today, very few people abide by the old engagement traditions – usually couples go and buy their engagement rings on their own with no celebrations. Some couples do, however, want to organise a party, in which case they often receive money or presents that help them make a home together. Polterabend or the bachelor or bachelorette party is a German tradition adopted in Finland. These parties celebrate the last night as a free man or woman, even though they are usually organised earlier than the night before the wedding. The groom’s male friends organise a party for the groom and the bride’s friends organise a party for the bride. You may see some of these parties in fancy dress in town, taking the bride or groom to perform various tasks. The wedding ceremony may be held in the register office, a church or almost any other place. In connection with church weddings, the church announces the marriage with the banns during a service, and many couples go and listen to them. The traditional Finnish wedding is a church wedding. According to custom, the bride’s family sit on the left side from the back of the church and
29 | Life in Finland | Finnish life
the groom’s family sit on the right, the closest family members sit in the front and friends sit the furthest away from the altar. It is traditional to have the father walk the bride down the aisle to the tune of the wedding march and hand her over to the groom. The ceremony consists of an overture, a wedding speech, questions, the ring prayer, the announcement of the marriage and prayers. After the ceremony, there is a celebration with food and dance. In addition to eating, the ceremonies in the wedding reception include speeches, cutting the wedding cake, a waltz and throwing the bouquet, and so on. The bride is traditionally dressed in a long, white gown and a veil and the groom is in black tie. The guests should remember that only the bride is allowed to wear white at a wedding. Presents for the newlyweds may include things for their shared home or money. Many couples draft a list with wedding present options.